Story #1: Thank heaven somebody suggested a door wedge to keep her bedroom door shut! If she'd not gotten that advice and followed it.... I'm just glad he wasn't able to walk into her room.
For the cancer one, as a patient I was warned that most relationships tend not to do so well and I mean, I didn't blame my bf for leaving the first time. Its really a mental/emotional struggle, and now that I'm starting a new chemo cycle (a year after no chemo), I'm not holding my breath lol. And it's okay. Gotta focus on your health first.
It's not okay. If the roles were reversed your bf would _expect_ you to dote and look after him through his illness. Majority of men do, but there's a few out there who aren't shit.
@@CalamityM as a dude this is certified cap. Most of the time men would be harassed and been called abusive for not helping. Nobody would say that to a women.
@@springs9922 I think women stuck more than men, I guess it is in our genetic, for example women are more selfish than men and also women has maternal instinct
@@springs9922 it's expected of women, when men leave its "oh poor boy he went through sooo much" when women leave its "she left him when he was at his lowest how selfish"
Story 1, OP's boyfriend is a waste of space, not willing to lift a finger for anyone by the sounds of it. He needs more than the silent treatment, he needs permenant silence from you.
Poppy and clementine are the names of rachel the producers kids from try guys. She also had cancer.... sounds like her ex from before she had kids with her hubby.
For OP who slept topless, she was in the privacy of her bedroom. Besides, there's no way she could have known her mom's boyfriend was over, right? Unless he had come over the night before, in which case she'd probably have found another way to sleep. And even so, it's HER bedroom! I sleep topless all the time because no one else is supposed to come into my room. It's not hard to respect boundaries, damnit
Yep. Having a period does not excuse you from all responsibility. There were so many options for the sister to give the brother money - debit card, get cash from parent etc. She was basically happy for the brother to spend what seemed like his only cash for her and therefore miss out on what he went to the shop to buy.
@@nixxyhasthoughts yup and I bet if he'd asked for it back she'd have said something like it's a necessity and I can't afford it. I laughed at the people saying it was fake because the kid didn't mention that the sister had told him which ones to buy. He's 17 he didn't think that was an important part of the story.
She's his sister, not his gf. He was more than willing to get them for her but she didn't give him enough. I'd tell my brother if I couldn't afford my stuff and let him decide to pay or not. He's nta.
"People are saying this is fake because the living conditions are uninhabitable" Bruh, those people are out of touch af. I'm sure the impoverished Afghani communities (no AC, hot AND cold as balls, etc) would have a field day with those people.
Having brain cancer at only 23 tore my heart up while I listened to her story. She is so independent, which is huge for a young adult and on their way to success. Independence brings confidence. It can also make it hard for one to rely on another when there really wasn’t much of a choice. It is so hard to ask, because you’re essentially admitting that you yourself cannot do it. Not a happy pill to swallow. She already knew what it would cost her if he said no, whether she had been in denial or not. Plus, it is difficult for one like her that is an independent, smart young lady to admit it may get worse than what her oncologist, nurses, radiation doctor had initially stated etc.,. I think that’s for most of us really. We simply cannot fathom of not being successful in the fight against the cancer. And what bites to a lot of cancer survivors is not only the fear that it may come back, but the long lasting side effects that may happen after their treatments, which could easily last a lifetime. Luckily, this does not happen to a good number of our Warriors who had beat the hell out of the cancer, but it still happens, especially when one gets neuropathy. We also have to include how hard it can be to completely titrate down on a lot of their medicines, along with remembering to take a tiny pill every day for the next five years, which again can have some of the worse when it comes to side effects. One lady had explained to me it was the choice of staying in bed for the next five years, or taking the chance of in taking too much estrogen for their body and having the chance of their cancer coming back. She had expressed to me there was no way she would choose to be bedridden because every single one of her joints would scream out in pain the moment she moved any of them, especially her small joints such as her toes and fingers. What an absolute miserable way to live. And to make it all worse, there is no guarantee that the cancer won’t return even with the pill. I have a good idea of how hard it had been for her to ask her boyfriend for help. There may be a large age difference between her and I, but we are both very independent. So, I do have good reason to believe it will be a heavy strain the relationship too. Her boyfriend declining the responsibility put her back for who knows how many years before she could return to school and be strong enough to live and work alone. This is a good part of the story that had bothered me the most, losing her independence. hospitals may have it, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start asking the nurses, receptionists or either the oncologist or the employees who dealt with the radiation aspect of it. Ask what? Ask if they have a program for those who may not have a ride or have the money for the ride to their treatment. Treatment is so important to keep to schedule. One cannot afford to miss their appointment and think they can just skip it and continue onto their next one, and if they want you every other Wednesday, you need to be there, you need to be there every other Wednesday and on time. I did fourteen months of chemo and 36 radiation treatments. If one broke up chemo it would have been in thirds for me. One part had been every other week, then every week and then every two or three weeks. There were also a number of times I had thought I had not been given enough time to jump back and be ready for the next set of infusions. Oh my God, it was horrible and in one part, I almost didn’t make it. If it hadn’t been for my husband and daughter, I would’ve easily given up. It had been for them that I refused to give up and had the mindset that I was going to kick cancer’s ass. Okay, now that I’ve been rattling on long enough about me, please let me tell you my initial reason for typing this, and it’s pretty simple to do, So please, if it’s you or anyone you know that is having problems finding rides for their chemo or radiation treatments, please, please ask any and all of the doctors, receptionists and everyone in those offices if they know of a program that are able to provide rides on behalf of the hospital, or an organization or non-profit that would be able to help with keeping the appointments. If one of them say no, move to the next person to ask. I remember having one day that I had been trying to explain to the radiation receptionist there was simply no way I could make the Friday appointment. Next thing I know, she’s digging around, finds a handful of cards and gave them to me. She then said, I will see you Friday. Skipping days when you’re in radiation is heavily frowned upon. Those cards gave me the security I had needed in keeping all of my appointments because I had lived in a smaller town east of where my appointments were. It was at least a $50-60 dollar ride one way. To me, that’s a heck of a lot of money. But, they wanted me there every day and sometimes even on a Saturday or Sunday. There is usually a lot of help in the community, and outside of the hospital. For instance, we have a young businessman/store owner that donates expensive, but well-fitted wigs to to any and all who would love a one. He understood how so many of us felt and being embarrassed to go in public without hair. Heck, it had been terrible for me, but then I chalked it up to being a Leo, and us Leo’s sure do love our manes. There are so many support groups in our states who could easily help with finding rides and so much more. It just takes a bit of initiative to make that first call and ask for help, which can be very difficult to do, but so worth it in the end. When her boyfriend finally admitted he didn’t want to see her sick, please know he is so not alone, there are so many loved ones who will feel this way too and ones you’d never imagine either. Mine had been one of my sisters, and the other was a friend I had considered close and an ICU nurse. Yeah, go figure, an ICU nurse. You just have to give them their space and allow them to cope in how they know how. It hurts. So, you can either have a good talk with them, or you simply allow them to stay quiet and figure it out on their own. I am always as honest as I can be when asked questions, and I do try to warn new patients that there may be some people in their life that won’t be able to or want to see you when you’re at your lowest, or even at all. One can’t really blame them either. We are all different, and can see in completely different ways. If anyone reading this has any trepidation to a loved one with cancer, please talk to them about it. You’d be surprised at how many strengths appear and weaknesses disappear with those of us battling cancer. Be well and stay smiling, life really can be good. 🎈
For the sister and the period products: absolutely NTA. She gave him $3, knowing it was inadequate, and obviously had the money, because she went to buy them herself. He said she had a history of not paying him back. She was totally trying to scam him.
The sister needing pads: F every single person who called the OP an ahole. If you ask someone to buy something for someone you give them the money for them. It doesn't matter if it's pads, tampons, candy, toothpaste, whatever. People got blinded because WOMAN TROUBLE and lost the plot.
If the mom is worried about her boyfriend spying on her daughter as she sleeps nude, you need to kick him to the curb. Your daughter is over 18. She is legally a adult. Fix her door with a lock if it bothers her mom that much
@@feraldragon850 I 100% agree! the mother let that psycho back into the apartment after KNOWING he was into her daughter. She's a terrible mother. No excuse for that behavior. I don't care how good of a mother she is the rest of the time, I don't care how close of relationship she has her daughter, I don't even care if she has mental issues, putting your child in harm's way of a predator because you refuse to act is a monstrous, terrible thing to do. It's unforgivable. And ANY parent who does that is just a bad as the predator. Period.
For the one about stripper money: The guy messed with her birth control and purposefully got her pregnant. He confessed to it and she has it on tape. He only wanted the child to get money.
As someone who has a uterus and bleeds monthly, that story about the guy not buying the pads is nta (not the a-hole). It's implied in the story that the older sister has a habit of doing this to him and not paying him back. if I had someone go to the store for me to buy stuff for me, hygiene products or not, I pay them back, I give them more than the amount needed for whatever I want with the expectation that the change comes back to me.
Re: the handyman - What is with this thing of calling OP 'selfish' for not doing whatever ridiculous thing a friend, neighbor, family or stranger on the street wants? The pads story - sister knew exactly how much pads cost and what brand and type. Also, as one of my boyfriends told me after he bought me pads - some guys behind him were razzing him and he told them that at least he had a girlfriend.
I agree with your opinions about both stories! For the pads story I personally said NTA because if she (who is 21) knew the specific brand and had been buying them for a while then she should know that $3 is not enough. She asked her brother to get them for her because he happened to be going to the store but got mad when he asked her for the money to buy it?! She obviously didn’t give him enough on purpose. Also, I am a woman!! I would never ask someone to buy me that without giving them the proper money to do so! And so many responses ignored the fact that OP said in his post that she never pays him back so why should he pay extra knowing that he will probably never see that money again? The sister is the asshole
@@stevelemur6113 I think she refers to the story, that a woman put expensive bras to boyfriend´s laundry basket instead of her own, and the bras got ruined.
Story 2: As a Floridian, I sleep naked a lot. My AC broke for a week once. The humidity and heat are brutal to the point I couldn’t even sleep with a sheet and was soaking the bed through with sweat. The mom needs to find a new boyfriend because this guy sounds like an absolute creep and her mom and her boyfriend are TA in this. Ultimately, it sounds like the mom didn’t give enough craps about the daughter and kept him around for longer than she should have despite him being a threat to the daughter.
It’s always a good idea to keep a document of all your medical information in one place - medical history, allergies, medications, doctors, immunisation etc so you or others can access it easily when needed. I did this for my mum when she got older as well as made a document containing all this information on a USB stick to go on her house keys for her.
That moment when you realize it's a 2 hour video which you hadn't planned for just now, so you go to add it to a playlist for tomorrow... but then make the mistake of going into the comments, seeing reference to later stories, and wanting to know more like now! ♥️🍍
To go with the bra, you are so right I’m a natural 34H and it costs me up to $250 for one bra for myself. That’s if and when I can find them in my size
The dad with the doctor, sorry I'm gonna say Nah, due to personal experience with this issue, the first time I had made an appointment myself I had gone to the wrong office, in fact it wasn't even the same hospital brand (I live in area with at least five different hospitals) all I remembered was to say I was here for my (reason for clinic) they asked for my name and they couldn't find me in their logs. They apologized and I felt like an idiot and tried next door again wrong clinic but correct brand and they sent me to the correct clinic on the other side of town. Point being if you are not used to doing something there will always be a margin of error and the mother was technically rightly mad but again a margin of error is to be expected. This was a learning experience to write down the names of the doctors and associated hospitals for future reference I know I have had to do that.
The doctor who put on her cast may not have been the same as th one who was going to remove it. And the daughter might not actually have a regular doctor..
As someone with vaginismus who had no idea what was going on and was told by old gp it was a psychological thing, which was wrong, it’s good to have an answer. A diagnosis so you don’t feel crazy or guilty by what’s happening to you. It’s not fun and makes sex a hassle but at least I know it’s not my fault.
Regarding the story about neighbors using OP's husband: I agree with sending these women RUclips videos! My sister completely replaced her toilet using a RUclips video and did it on her own. She was so proud of herself!
I just love that “stripper flat” one. The “I can’t talk to you when you’re in this state”...you mean logical and rational?! And the rationale about not wanting to be in a home paid for by “stripper money” but happy for that same money to pay for another house was clearly thin. Not a surprise he was after the cash injection for his failing business after all.
I had a tenant who had been renting a apartment from me for the last 5 years. She was in law school and she was working as a stripper for most of the time while she graduated college and she graduated from law school. The whole virus thing came when she started her last year of law school. She had two classes and a couple hours of court work before she graduated last year. She started a website for her self and her friend who was a server in nursing school. They are both single mothers . She said that they were making a lot of money for the website. You can’t tell them in person from the website. They both look totally different in person. They are still doing shows and she saved enough money to buy her own house and her friend who is her partner in the page is going to be her roommate for a couple years. They have been helping each other with the kids. She came to me and asked me if could help her out with finding a house that she could buy and sell it in a few years and make money off of it. I gave her some listings that I had and they went to see them all. She picked out one that is pretty big and it is stuck in the 80’s and needs work but nothing huge. They moved in the house today and I need two new tenants. But they have done the two masters and bathrooms in the master bedrooms. It has a up and down master . The kids bathroom is still in the 80’s but the house is a work in progress.
Jesus Christ I was allowed so much privacy from such a young age compared to that 18 year old!! It’s stories like that that make me realise how chill my mum has always been.
The "stripper house" - one line that really leaped out at me was his [paraphrased] "We're not going to be a couple unless you do everything I say". Oh really, sonny jim?
In my opinion, taking the high road is reserved for those who are repentant of their actions, if they decide to double down I'll be vindictive as hell. Mercy is for those who truly deserve it
And story 1, that mother had no excuse to go off on her adult daughter for sleeping in the way that she is most comfortable, I'm glad that she realized that her boyfriend was the problem but she is lucky that she didn't cause irreparable damage to her relationship to her daughter
Engagement story:NTA . I hope her (soon to be ex friend) know that she never had her own engagement and that she hijacked another event to have engagement for free. I would be never satisfied with engagement like this .At least in my country, engagement is something very important and newd to be celebrated with family and friends and not in another peoples wedding.
When my mum got older with multiple medical conditions I got her a special book designed for recording all her medical information. I also made a document that listed her medical history, allergies, medications, tests, doctors, NOK details and put it on a small labelled USB that went on her key ring in case she had a medical event while out.
IF that brothers post is actually true about his sister asking him to buy her pads, then the sister is the asshole and the brother is not. It sounds like she just rudely ordered him to buy something for her and she couldn't even be bothered enough to give him enough money to cover it. Not did she say anything like, "this won't be enough, but I'll pay you back soon." She clearly just expected him to cover the cost for her. So she was asked for one favor, expected two, and demanded it be done. That's not cool.
If I HAD to get engaged at someone's wedding, I'd do it in the car. I'd ask my significant other to come to the car with me for a sec, and ask where there are no people to steal the attention of. As for announcements, another day. Not then. I'd wait for after the wedding to find a nice place somewhere else to take photos, myself. But to be honest, not proposing at a wedding at all is the best option.
The dad not knowing who the doctor was is ridiculous. My dad knew who all my doctors were as a child, both my grandfathers knew who and how to get to their children’s doctors. Absolutely, ridiculous not to know your child’s health care providers. Also I like that his responsibilities are the fun activities while his wife has to do all the actual parenting work.
@1:12:26 The mother is the problem. If she is denying her son's abusive behavior & flying off the handle after being confronted with it: she's not only allowing that abusive behavior to continue, she's teaching her sons anger control problems as well. I grew up in a similar household. Abusive behavior usually escalates until corrective action is taken. The mother is the AH.
Doctor Dad: NAH. First off, this isn't a regular doctor. Casts are orthopedic doctors. He called their primary, meaning he knows who the primary is. He made a mistake while picking up slack from something that is normally Mom's domain. It's no different than if wife forgot the kid's sports bag for practice when that's his purview. Relationships aren't 50/50 on everything. Trying to make it so is an effort in futility. Some things are 100/0. Some are 0/100. Some are 20/80. Some are 60/40. Support each other and communicate.
uhm. yes. yes you ARE supposed to know your kids' doctors unless its like an immediate/urgent care single visit kinda thing. I literally do ALL the doctors things for our twins. I'll snag help for vaccine visits so they have a familiar cuddle buddy... We have had one kid with a few medical problems. Some he just went to a group for (like eczema. he just goes to one specific office and whoever sees him, sees him.)... but my husband KNOWS this info, or at least has it in his phone to reference. He can fill out medical forms with no issue because THAT IS WHAT A FUCKING PARENT DOES. Hell.. My Dad knows most of the info because he was our "nanny" for a while.
On the picture’s she still should have made her pay for them even if she just donated it to a good cause because there are a lot of people that keep doing stuff like this because they think as long as they apologize they will get what they want without really having to deal with the Consequences of their actions.
I used to be a Medical Assistant and managed the office. Had a dad bring his daughter in for an injection. He told me it was for Depo Provera, an injectable contraceptive. Also used when cycles are a problem. I asked him if he was sure, since the girl was 13. He said yes and signed the paperwork. As they were leaving he said that was the last injection she needed for school. I stopped him, told him that was NOT a school requirement. Called the mom and found out she needed a tetanus shot. What an idiot!
The dad not knowing the kids doctor is crazy. I usually take my son to the doctors but multiple people in our family know doctors, dentist, any important numbers in reference to him. When we go to doctors we always verify address even if it just around the corner.
On the 1st story (I think...the cancer story), I know this maybe too late but for those dealing with cancer...I empathize (also a CA survivor) what has been recommended to me (though I haven't tried this yet) is to contact your local Cancer society. According to my varied providers they will help arrange for transport to and from CA appointments. Just something to think on. OP - sending well wishes - NTA
Mark, you need to stop with the comments about the twin "stealing his girl." That's just gross. They were planning a "one night stand." so it wasn't "his girl." Men need to stop considering women property that can be owned like that just because they are sexually attracted to them.
Cancer girl, realize that you'll always be alone when things get tough and scary. I dated a man who panicked and freeze. Like when I broke MY ankle I was the one that had to keep HIM calm. We stayed together for a few more months but I couldn't take being the only one who was emotionally strong. Next story.. mom said she was figuring out how to get out of relationship safely.. maybe they had money together or she needed to get security set up..we don't know the entire situation.
The engagement/ ring story: im on his side actually: she says taking his name is sexist- everyone has to accept that. But him saying: he has to pay for the ring is sexist is s problem?! Why?
Sorry band aid analogy is bad, compared to how piorods work. it's so easy to buy a pack of bandaids and use them the few times you need them.(idk about u but it's not every month) With pads/tampons you have to change them multiple times for at least 5-7days straight, it's not like a bandaid u slap on for a whole day or two (maybe u change it once or twice then its healed) and this also happens every month. Even if your the best planner things happen, where u use more then normal or just forget to restock before next month which goes freaking fast sometimes.
Instead of a $100 allowance OP should give his wife joint access to the bank account where his paychecks go, that way she feels more autonomous, like an adult that actually has a say in the family finances and is treated like an equal partner instead of a child who gets an allowance for doing chores.
My husband does the bills, and before we retired he did all the shopping. First thing when we retired i started going with him to shop and discovered amazon. He had a very hard time when i put anything in the shopping cart and i finally told him i feel like a child having to get permission to buy ice cream cones or a different hand soap i prefer. Finally i got a credit card in my name. I pay it off at the end of every month and when he wants me to take something out of the cart i just use my card. Its super funny because i doubt i've exceeded 50 dollars on that card. I'm not a spend thrift and he started to relax shopping with me.
agreed. I'm a SAHM myself and I would feel worthless if my husband tried to pull what this guy did. like... it was a mutual decision so it's not longer HIS money, it's now family money.
Last story. Why sell the house? He should use his money to get his own flat. So unfortunate that you're pregnant. He'll make you financially unstable and the abuse you.
So it was definitely a compromise. You don't want to subscribe to patriarchal traditions, then great, we won't subscribe patriarchal traditions. You don't get to only pick the patriarchal traditions that suit you. The difference between having the same name and getting a pretty ring is astronomically different. Having the same name means you're now one unit, a family. A ring is just a pretty trinket that was brought to you by slavery. Have you heard of diamond minds? I'll take a patriarchal tradition over slavery any day.
The story about the brother buying pads: 100% NTA! A woman at 21yrs old knows how much pads cost. Send with enough money to buy them. If you don't send enough money, don't expect the pads. Period. Then to pitch a fit because your day is now ruined because you have to get them yourself? Grow up and stop using your period as an excuse to be a pain in the ass. People do not have to wait on you just because of your time of month. This opinion is coming from a 40yr old woman.
With the story that had the creeper boyfriend, I am sure her mom didn't question the doorstop because she was thankful she got one for her room after what she read.
The pad one. NTA. The cheapest pads cost $1.25 for a 5 pack at the dollar tree. The cheapest at Walmart is $6. The fact she just gave him $3 then got mad that he didn’t get her them is insane.
No. Maybe that was all the cash she had at that moment. Period cramps are HELL. Without any menstrual hygiene product? Even more hell. Could she have been more transparent at that moment and told him it's all the cash she had but didn't want to give her card? Sure. But he, after his sister probably did a lot more for him when he was younger, wouldn't have forfeit his life for giving 3$ to buy a box of fucking pads.
@@basti5231you do realize you’re talking to a woman right. I have had those lay on the floor and can’t move period cramps before. But if I ask someone to buy me some menstrual products I damn sure either give them enough money for them or explain that I’ll get the money to them when I get paid. But then again I’ve never had to do that because I track my period and keep an eye on my pads so that if I’m running low I can get some before my period starts. It’s really not that difficult to do all that, especially since there’s over a thousand apps specifically designed to help you track your period.
The brother and the pads is ABSOLUTELY NOT TAH!! OMG!! The very-much older sister is a USER!! SHE KNEW $3 wasn’t enough and sister has a history of never paying brother back! Seriously!!! Woman!! Get your own crap!! This from a woman from a family of nothing but females!! Hard roll of my eyes!!
I don't understand how the woman who had engagement photos taken at her friends wedding thought that could work. Obviously, the photographer would send the pics to the husband and wife, and they would have no reason to accept and pay for photos that weren't of the wedding party. Did she think the photographer would just separate hers out and send them over? It would be really weird if she thought her friend would purchase those pics and give them to her. Besides being in extremely poor taste, it makes no sense logistically speaking.
well, for my wedding and a lot of my friends' weddings, we opted for packages where we would receive all the files as part of it. we didn't have to pay individually.
Regarding not knowing Dr. appointment: Your child's medical issues are 100% your wife's responsibility and 100% YOUR responsibility. The sports are in a very different level of importance, much lower.
In this day and age every Dad and Mom need to have their childrens Doctor(pediatrician),Dentist, Coach, listed in their phone contacts. Mobile smart phones are mini computers you can do GPS with the address listed and add *notes.
The engagement ring/name taking one. They’re both correct about the traditions being sexist. The name one because the bride was forced to take her husband’s last name. Everyone knows that whole song and dance. The engagement ring is sexist as well. The man in the relationship is expected to go out and spend 3x his monthly salary on a ring he’s probably not gonna get back if the engagement/marriage gets called off for any reason. That is $3480 cheapest if you have a $7.25 minimum wage job/server job. And if he doesn’t get a ring that expensive he is seen as cheap, broke, unable to provide, and pathetic even if it was her/his/their idea not to get a ring that expensive. Not to mention the fact that once the ring leaves the store all the value of a diamond hits the drain. It’s honestly more practical to put that 3x salary into a savings account made to grow over time and gift that to the fiancé instead of wasting it on a diamond ring that’s only valuable for as long as the person who “made” that diamond cut is popular.
Boyfriend is the REAL tumor IMO. Dump him and set up rides through the hospital and or health insurers. Maybe can do inpatient treatment for cancer. Explain it to the cancer team and ask for support
PADS: NTA If the sister (who is 21) knew the specific brand then she should know that $3 is not enough. OP even said that he looked around and NO pads were being sold for $3 which is not a shock to anyone who buys period products regularly. Additionally, she asked her brother to get them for her because he happened to be going to the store but got mad when he asked her for the money to buy it?! She obviously didn’t give him enough on purpose. Also, I am a woman!! I would never ask someone to buy me that without giving them the proper money to do so! And many responses ignored the fact that OP said in his post that she never pays him back so why should he pay with his own money knowing that he will probably never see that money again? The sister is the asshole here.
Story 1: As someone who has been in hospitals for long periods incredibly ill (including having stage 4 cancer), I understand OP's desire to have someone she cares for show some consideration and support during such a scary time for her. I've also had loved ones who've used the excuse of "It's too hard for me to see you like that", which I do have empathy for. However, they've not considered what I need in those times and it's all about them. Having someone you love come to visit you for a few minutes can make a world of difference when you're so incredibly unwell and deeply scared. I imagine it's a similar thing for OP in that while she's empathetic that this may be hard for the BF, he's not once considered the fact that she needs that support and love to help her get through a truly hard time. Having cancer is no joke, and his refusal to even lift a finger to spend time with her or show his support speaks volumes to me.
story 2: personally im someone that would love for people to get engaged at my wedding's RECEPTION (definitely not during ceremony) but hell nah op delete that shit she wants free professional photography?? on your day?? without telling you nothing?? nah nah nah
I never understand why perants treat younger children differently when it comes to teaching them manners. All my children have been brought up to respect other people.
I was a mother at 17 and have spent the last 40 years apologizing to my son for being an abysmal parent. I was 23 when I had the next one and the difference was so noticeable, that’s what made me aware of how awful a mother I had been to my first. But it’s an individual thing even more than age I think. But the over 5 years of maturing for me made a big difference.
The pad lady, and everyone calling him an asshole... Dude hes her brother, not her boyfriend. He does not have an obligation to buy his sister pads, even less spend his own money or part of it to buy them.. The whole deal is rather ridiculous.
The period story, NTA at all. I’m female and the fault is on her. She is 21, she is old enough to know about having a period. She is old enough is know that if you run out, you get more. It’s not a matter of boy brain, it’s a matter of money and the fact it was a favor that he didn’t have to do.
If someone won't ride with you when it's bad they don't deserve to ride when it's good. Your bf is making excuses to not be there. Think if this is hard for him now what will be do when its your children?
I still think the boyfriend and the sister in the stripper flat story have something going on because she's really digging her heels in and now she's trying to involve the parents OP is estranged from for no reason? He was trying to steal from her and sis is like "no, keep him around" and then when she doesn't "well now i'm gonna tell mom and dad!" Something is up.
Wedding story. I realize Covid has made some interesting "rule" changes but A very good friend of mine got married last year (we both brew beer together: important later) but his wedding was the first time lots of our friends had been in the same building togeather since the start of the pandemic. Well when you arent drinking at the wedding of your beer buddy and you haven't seen anyone in over a year... some folks find out things when you wouldnt normally want them too. Now Bride was made aware I was pregnant before the wedding (my original outfit didnt fit day of so we had to make some last minute changes) But for like a third of my friend group, they found out I was pregnant at my friend's wedding. I didnt tell anyone until the reception. (There were some other things I was supposed to do for the wedding, I was wedding party adjacent) That I couldn't do due to being pregnant that kinda put a damper on that "not announcing at a wedding" Now for me, Bride was already aware I was pregnant. Groom wasn't but I've known him for years and could have told him 6 times and he wouldnt remember.
OP/Engagement Ring issues... EVERYONE SUCKS!!! OP had a point, putting a Ring on a Womans Finger is just as Sexist as changing a last name. It's Domenation, & depicts property of someone. I'm not knocking it, I'll piss on what's mine if it keeps someone from taking or wanting it. I'm all about ownership of my Partner. I don't Control them, but I'm not sharing. I am fine with someone knowing I'm taken as well. RING, ETC. But OP isn't wrong about it feeling Sexist.
@@azadalamiq I'm not saying it is Sexist. I just understand that some people could look @ it that way. Eye of the beholder! As for your issue, I understand it's hard! My youngest has a different last name from Myself & her Older Sister. Oldests father vanished well I was Pregnant. Youngests Dad is on the picture, but we don't live together. We (My kids & I) live with my Dad, My Mom passed. But my youngest feels left out from not having the same name as the rest of us. So I really understand your pain. She has expressed her sadness over it since she was 4, starting School! I wish I could change her name to make her feel better, unfortunately I can't. Legality of the situation. She's in School & although her Legal name is on the intake Paperwork, Her School Teachers have been understanding so far that she wants to use My last name on her Paperwork! Best I can do for her @ this time!
Lol all who says that OP not buying an engagement ring for it being sexist after his GF does not want to take on his last name just because she deems it sexist ... are all boinkers. So he has to take her feelings in consideration but she does not? Nope, OP is not the A-hole nor is he wrong. Her views have and ARE a double standard. Also she wants a ring? Then she can buy her own damn ring. The entire wedding crap is bullshit anyway ... why is it always the man who has to buy the goddamn ring. "Oh because it is proof that he loves her" ... ah and where is her proof? Or does female only love the money a male provides? Then that is not "love".
Do you realize how abusive you are being? I was a SAH wife the first year of my marriage. I’d ask my husband for money. I’d get this what did you do with the money I’d gave you last week, or what ever? It’s degrading and abusive! YTA! Major YTA!
Asthma: Your GF's irrationality reminds me of anti-vaxers or anti-maskers who had their heads scrambled by flakes on the internet, She seems to think allergies are just polite excuses to refuse food. All she cares about is that you approve of her food. If she kills you in the process so be it, She believes the internet over you. You must reuse to eat anything she cooks.
Curious as to why OP feels he has no other option than to depend on his antagonistic girlfriend to cook everything. Does he ever take a turn with that chore? I think ESH, and that they are incompatible, but he doesn't seem to be taking any responsibility for either shopping for non-allergic ingredients or cooking them. Maybe he should dump her and subsist on frozen dinners whose ingredient lists he can inspect. Or learn to prepare simple meals for himself, AND find a better girlfriend. The current one sounds like she may have a streak of anti-Asian racism.
Pad story: its 2024, i live in england. It's horrifying to hear that u couldn't buy pads for $3!?? Over here, u can get em for £0.34/$0.43. I was actually surprised as i don't have a period so i don't buy them often. A few weeks ago, i had to pick sum up for my friend and i was so relieved and happy to see that u could get a decent pack of pads for so cheap still! For anyone interested, i live in the Midlands and i picked em up from a Tesco Express (the smaller corner shops). Usually a Tesco Express costs so much more than a Tesco Extra (full sized supermarket), but it seems they go to the extra effort to not raise the price of certain items. Usually their own brand (which these pads were), whereas everything else costs like 5x more lol They had different absorbency ratings available for that price, they didn't sell the highest rating in the shop tho. The next most expensive option was literally like 42p as well! They do the same with tampons from what i saw.
I don't understand how twins can be so hostile to each other from such a young age. What did the parents do, or not do? Both brothers are ah...but so are the parents.
Story #1: Thank heaven somebody suggested a door wedge to keep her bedroom door shut! If she'd not gotten that advice and followed it.... I'm just glad he wasn't able to walk into her room.
Or get a keyless lock. They are made for travelers. It's just a little metal gadget for a few dollars.
too scared to imagine the things he would've done if there was no door wedge. that dude is definitely a pedophile and/or rapist.
She got one after he did that
That wasnt story one
story 1 was about cancer & chemo
For the cancer one, as a patient I was warned that most relationships tend not to do so well and I mean, I didn't blame my bf for leaving the first time. Its really a mental/emotional struggle, and now that I'm starting a new chemo cycle (a year after no chemo), I'm not holding my breath lol. And it's okay. Gotta focus on your health first.
It's not okay. If the roles were reversed your bf would _expect_ you to dote and look after him through his illness. Majority of men do, but there's a few out there who aren't shit.
@@CalamityM as a dude this is certified cap. Most of the time men would be harassed and been called abusive for not helping. Nobody would say that to a women.
@@springs9922 I think women stuck more than men, I guess it is in our genetic, for example women are more selfish than men and also women has maternal instinct
@@springs9922 it's expected of women, when men leave its "oh poor boy he went through sooo much" when women leave its "she left him when he was at his lowest how selfish"
@@aliaswilliams3935 not true most of the time but i have seen a few stories when what ur saying is true but 99% what ur saying is cap.
Story 1, OP's boyfriend is a waste of space, not willing to lift a finger for anyone by the sounds of it. He needs more than the silent treatment, he needs permenant silence from you.
SsI agree who needs a grown up child? She's better off without him.
I agree with you, who needs a grown child to support? She's better off without him.
@@lorrainemarshall4183She’ll be dead without him.
Agree story 1 is a waste of space garbage 🗑 she needs to leave him.now
Poppy and clementine are the names of rachel the producers kids from try guys. She also had cancer.... sounds like her ex from before she had kids with her hubby.
For OP who slept topless, she was in the privacy of her bedroom. Besides, there's no way she could have known her mom's boyfriend was over, right? Unless he had come over the night before, in which case she'd probably have found another way to sleep. And even so, it's HER bedroom! I sleep topless all the time because no one else is supposed to come into my room. It's not hard to respect boundaries, damnit
Pretty sure mom caught her BF eyeing OP. Mom is worried. Get a dead bolt lock or door stop.
Here's the thing with the 17m and pads. NTA. The sister has a history of not paying him back.
Yep. Having a period does not excuse you from all responsibility. There were so many options for the sister to give the brother money - debit card, get cash from parent etc. She was basically happy for the brother to spend what seemed like his only cash for her and therefore miss out on what he went to the shop to buy.
@@nixxyhasthoughts yup and I bet if he'd asked for it back she'd have said something like it's a necessity and I can't afford it. I laughed at the people saying it was fake because the kid didn't mention that the sister had told him which ones to buy. He's 17 he didn't think that was an important part of the story.
Came here to say all this, thanks ladies
But, pads? *shudder*
She's his sister, not his gf. He was more than willing to get them for her but she didn't give him enough. I'd tell my brother if I couldn't afford my stuff and let him decide to pay or not. He's nta.
The everyone sucks here are wrong. Not only did she know what she was doing, she got mommy and daddy involved.
"People are saying this is fake because the living conditions are uninhabitable"
Bruh, those people are out of touch af. I'm sure the impoverished Afghani communities (no AC, hot AND cold as balls, etc) would have a field day with those people.
ALLOWANCE: what a control freak you are wanting to ok every penny your wife spends. She needs a little money to spend without your permission.
Dude also said he did not WANT her to have a job... and expects her to still pay some bills like wifi, yikes.
Having brain cancer at only 23 tore my heart up while I listened to her story. She is so independent, which is huge for a young adult and on their way to success. Independence brings confidence. It can also make it hard for one to rely on another when there really wasn’t much of a choice. It is so hard to ask, because you’re essentially admitting that you yourself cannot do it. Not a happy pill to swallow.
She already knew what it would cost her if he said no, whether she had been in denial or not. Plus, it is difficult for one like her that is an independent, smart young lady to admit it may get worse than what her oncologist, nurses, radiation doctor had initially stated etc.,. I think that’s for most of us really. We simply cannot fathom of not being successful in the fight against the cancer. And what bites to a lot of cancer survivors is not only the fear that it may come back, but the long lasting side effects that may happen after their treatments, which could easily last a lifetime. Luckily, this does not happen to a good number of our Warriors who had beat the hell out of the cancer, but it still happens, especially when one gets neuropathy.
We also have to include how hard it can be to completely titrate down on a lot of their medicines, along with remembering to take a tiny pill every day for the next five years, which again can have some of the worse when it comes to side effects.
One lady had explained to me it was the choice of staying in bed for the next five years, or taking the chance of in taking too much estrogen for their body and having the chance of their cancer coming back. She had expressed to me there was no way she would choose to be bedridden because every single one of her joints would scream out in pain the moment she moved any of them, especially her small joints such as her toes and fingers. What an absolute miserable way to live. And to make it all worse, there is no guarantee that the cancer won’t return even with the pill.
I have a good idea of how hard it had been for her to ask her boyfriend for help. There may be a large age difference between her and I, but we are both very independent. So, I do have good reason to believe it will be a heavy strain the relationship too. Her boyfriend declining the responsibility put her back for who knows how many years before she could return to school and be strong enough to live and work alone. This is a good part of the story that had bothered me the most, losing her independence.
hospitals may have it, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start asking the nurses, receptionists or either the oncologist or the employees who dealt with the radiation aspect of it.
Ask what? Ask if they have a program for those who may not have a ride or have the money for the ride to their treatment. Treatment is so important to keep to schedule. One cannot afford to miss their appointment and think they can just skip it and continue onto their next one, and if they want you every other Wednesday, you need to be there, you need to be there every other Wednesday and on time.
I did fourteen months of chemo and 36 radiation treatments. If one broke up chemo it would have been in thirds for me. One part had been every other week, then every week and then every two or three weeks.
There were also a number of times I had thought I had not been given enough time to jump back and be ready for the next set of infusions. Oh my God, it was horrible and in one part, I almost didn’t make it. If it hadn’t been for my husband and daughter, I would’ve easily given up. It had been for them that I refused to give up and had the mindset that I was going to kick cancer’s ass.
Okay, now that I’ve been rattling on long enough about me, please let me tell you my initial reason for typing this, and it’s pretty simple to do, So please, if it’s you or anyone you know that is having problems finding rides for their chemo or radiation treatments, please, please ask any and all of the doctors, receptionists and everyone in those offices if they know of a program that are able to provide rides on behalf of the hospital, or an organization or non-profit that would be able to help with keeping the appointments. If one of them say no, move to the next person to ask.
I remember having one day that I had been trying to explain to the radiation receptionist there was simply no way I could make the Friday appointment. Next thing I know, she’s digging around, finds a handful of cards and gave them to me. She then said, I will see you Friday. Skipping days when you’re in radiation is heavily frowned upon.
Those cards gave me the security I had needed in keeping all of my appointments because I had lived in a smaller town east of where my appointments were. It was at least a $50-60 dollar ride one way. To me, that’s a heck of a lot of money. But, they wanted me there every day
and sometimes even on a Saturday or Sunday.
There is usually a lot of help in the community, and outside of the hospital. For instance, we have a young businessman/store owner that donates expensive, but well-fitted wigs to to any and all who would love a one. He understood how so many of us felt and being embarrassed to go in public without hair. Heck, it had been terrible for me, but then I chalked it up to being a Leo, and us Leo’s sure do love our manes.
There are so many support groups in our states who could easily help with finding rides and so much more. It just takes a bit of initiative to make that first call and ask for help, which can be very difficult to do, but so worth it in the end.
When her boyfriend finally admitted he didn’t want to see her sick, please know he is so not alone, there are so many loved ones who will feel this way too and ones you’d never imagine either. Mine had been one of my sisters, and the other was a friend I had considered close and an ICU nurse. Yeah, go figure, an ICU nurse. You just have to give them their space and allow them to cope in how they know how. It hurts. So, you can either have a good talk with them, or you simply allow them to stay quiet and figure it out on their own.
I am always as honest as I can be when asked questions, and I do try to warn new patients that there may be some people in their life that won’t be able to or want to see you when you’re at your lowest, or even at all. One can’t really blame them either. We are all different, and can see in completely different ways. If anyone reading this has any trepidation to a loved one with cancer, please talk to them about it. You’d be surprised at how many strengths appear and weaknesses disappear with those of us battling cancer.
Be well and stay smiling, life really can be
good. 🎈
For the sister and the period products: absolutely NTA. She gave him $3, knowing it was inadequate, and obviously had the money, because she went to buy them herself. He said she had a history of not paying him back. She was totally trying to scam him.
Yeah, everyone seemed to forget that part about her having a history of not paying her back.
The sister needing pads: F every single person who called the OP an ahole. If you ask someone to buy something for someone you give them the money for them. It doesn't matter if it's pads, tampons, candy, toothpaste, whatever.
People got blinded because WOMAN TROUBLE and lost the plot.
If the mom is worried about her boyfriend spying on her daughter as she sleeps nude, you need to kick him to the curb. Your daughter is over 18. She is legally a adult. Fix her door with a lock if it bothers her mom that much
That is why there is a door on the bedroom and why one knocks and waits for an invitation before entering. Only AHs do anything else.
Exactly, why would a mom even think her bf would be in her daughter's bedroom?!
@@feraldragon850 I 100% agree! the mother let that psycho back into the apartment after KNOWING he was into her daughter. She's a terrible mother. No excuse for that behavior. I don't care how good of a mother she is the rest of the time, I don't care how close of relationship she has her daughter, I don't even care if she has mental issues, putting your child in harm's way of a predator because you refuse to act is a monstrous, terrible thing to do. It's unforgivable. And ANY parent who does that is just a bad as the predator. Period.
This guy is a fucking creep .I'm afraid he would do something vile.
For the one about stripper money: The guy messed with her birth control and purposefully got her pregnant. He confessed to it and she has it on tape. He only wanted the child to get money.
BUYING PADS: sister has a reputation for not paying back. Why should brother lend her money to pay for the pads?
As someone who has a uterus and bleeds monthly, that story about the guy not buying the pads is nta (not the a-hole). It's implied in the story that the older sister has a habit of doing this to him and not paying him back. if I had someone go to the store for me to buy stuff for me, hygiene products or not, I pay them back, I give them more than the amount needed for whatever I want with the expectation that the change comes back to me.
Re: the handyman - What is with this thing of calling OP 'selfish' for not doing whatever ridiculous thing a friend, neighbor, family or stranger on the street wants?
The pads story - sister knew exactly how much pads cost and what brand and type. Also, as one of my boyfriends told me after he bought me pads - some guys behind him were razzing him and he told them that at least he had a girlfriend.
I agree with your opinions about both stories!
For the pads story I personally said NTA because if she (who is 21) knew the specific brand and had been buying them for a while then she should know that $3 is not enough. She asked her brother to get them for her because he happened to be going to the store but got mad when he asked her for the money to buy it?! She obviously didn’t give him enough on purpose. Also, I am a woman!! I would never ask someone to buy me that without giving them the proper money to do so! And so many responses ignored the fact that OP said in his post that she never pays him back so why should he pay extra knowing that he will probably never see that money again? The sister is the asshole
The bra story reminds me of how grateful I am that mine are small enough for cheap bras.
Nothing to do with the issue of people barging into your bedroom when you have not said "come in".
@@stevelemur6113 I think she refers to the story, that a woman put expensive bras to boyfriend´s laundry basket instead of her own, and the bras got ruined.
Parents who cried wolf: if they trick you again, call CPS.
Story 2: As a Floridian, I sleep naked a lot. My AC broke for a week once. The humidity and heat are brutal to the point I couldn’t even sleep with a sheet and was soaking the bed through with sweat. The mom needs to find a new boyfriend because this guy sounds like an absolute creep and her mom and her boyfriend are TA in this. Ultimately, it sounds like the mom didn’t give enough craps about the daughter and kept him around for longer than she should have despite him being a threat to the daughter.
Doctor: in an emergency you, your babysitter all should know. Put a list by the phone.
It’s always a good idea to keep a document of all your medical information in one place - medical history, allergies, medications, doctors, immunisation etc so you or others can access it easily when needed. I did this for my mum when she got older as well as made a document containing all this information on a USB stick to go on her house keys for her.
And in your wallet, behind your phone, etc
That moment when you realize it's a 2 hour video which you hadn't planned for just now, so you go to add it to a playlist for tomorrow... but then make the mistake of going into the comments, seeing reference to later stories, and wanting to know more like now! ♥️🍍
To go with the bra, you are so right I’m a natural 34H and it costs me up to $250 for one bra for myself. That’s if and when I can find them in my size
The dad with the doctor, sorry I'm gonna say Nah, due to personal experience with this issue, the first time I had made an appointment myself I had gone to the wrong office, in fact it wasn't even the same hospital brand (I live in area with at least five different hospitals) all I remembered was to say I was here for my (reason for clinic) they asked for my name and they couldn't find me in their logs. They apologized and I felt like an idiot and tried next door again wrong clinic but correct brand and they sent me to the correct clinic on the other side of town.
Point being if you are not used to doing something there will always be a margin of error and the mother was technically rightly mad but again a margin of error is to be expected. This was a learning experience to write down the names of the doctors and associated hospitals for future reference I know I have had to do that.
The doctor who put on her cast may not have been the same as th one who was going to remove it. And the daughter might not actually have a regular doctor..
As someone with vaginismus who had no idea what was going on and was told by old gp it was a psychological thing, which was wrong, it’s good to have an answer. A diagnosis so you don’t feel crazy or guilty by what’s happening to you. It’s not fun and makes sex a hassle but at least I know it’s not my fault.
But all female things are in her head, don't cha know?
Regarding the story about neighbors using OP's husband: I agree with sending these women RUclips videos! My sister completely replaced her toilet using a RUclips video and did it on her own. She was so proud of herself!
I just love that “stripper flat” one. The “I can’t talk to you when you’re in this state”...you mean logical and rational?! And the rationale about not wanting to be in a home paid for by “stripper money” but happy for that same money to pay for another house was clearly thin. Not a surprise he was after the cash injection for his failing business after all.
I had a tenant who had been renting a apartment from me for the last 5 years. She was in law school and she was working as a stripper for most of the time while she graduated college and she graduated from law school. The whole virus thing came when she started her last year of law school. She had two classes and a couple hours of court work before she graduated last year. She started a website for her self and her friend who was a server in nursing school. They are both single mothers . She said that they were making a lot of money for the website. You can’t tell them in person from the website. They both look totally different in person. They are still doing shows and she saved enough money to buy her own house and her friend who is her partner in the page is going to be her roommate for a couple years. They have been helping each other with the kids. She came to me and asked me if could help her out with finding a house that she could buy and sell it in a few years and make money off of it. I gave her some listings that I had and they went to see them all. She picked out one that is pretty big and it is stuck in the 80’s and needs work but nothing huge. They moved in the house today and I need two new tenants. But they have done the two masters and bathrooms in the master bedrooms. It has a up and down master . The kids bathroom is still in the 80’s but the house is a work in progress.
Jesus Christ I was allowed so much privacy from such a young age compared to that 18 year old!! It’s stories like that that make me realise how chill my mum has always been.
The "stripper house" - one line that really leaped out at me was his [paraphrased] "We're not going to be a couple unless you do everything I say". Oh really, sonny jim?
In my opinion, taking the high road is reserved for those who are repentant of their actions, if they decide to double down I'll be vindictive as hell. Mercy is for those who truly deserve it
Exactly
And story 1, that mother had no excuse to go off on her adult daughter for sleeping in the way that she is most comfortable, I'm glad that she realized that her boyfriend was the problem but she is lucky that she didn't cause irreparable damage to her relationship to her daughter
NTA kick him to the curb. This is a red flag take care of yourself and realize you are not his priority. Sending good vibes...
Engagement story:NTA .
I hope her (soon to be ex friend) know that she never had her own engagement and that she hijacked another event to have engagement for free.
I would be never satisfied with engagement like this .At least in my country, engagement is something very important and newd to be celebrated with family and friends and not in another peoples wedding.
Mom's boyfriend has already been looking at you. Get a taser.
Probably (written by a man).
When my mum got older with multiple medical conditions I got her a special book designed for recording all her medical information. I also made a document that listed her medical history, allergies, medications, tests, doctors, NOK details and put it on a small labelled USB that went on her key ring in case she had a medical event while out.
IF that brothers post is actually true about his sister asking him to buy her pads, then the sister is the asshole and the brother is not. It sounds like she just rudely ordered him to buy something for her and she couldn't even be bothered enough to give him enough money to cover it. Not did she say anything like, "this won't be enough, but I'll pay you back soon."
She clearly just expected him to cover the cost for her. So she was asked for one favor, expected two, and demanded it be done.
That's not cool.
If I HAD to get engaged at someone's wedding, I'd do it in the car. I'd ask my significant other to come to the car with me for a sec, and ask where there are no people to steal the attention of. As for announcements, another day. Not then. I'd wait for after the wedding to find a nice place somewhere else to take photos, myself.
But to be honest, not proposing at a wedding at all is the best option.
The dad not knowing who the doctor was is ridiculous. My dad knew who all my doctors were as a child, both my grandfathers knew who and how to get to their children’s doctors. Absolutely, ridiculous not to know your child’s health care providers. Also I like that his responsibilities are the fun activities while his wife has to do all the actual parenting work.
@1:12:26 The mother is the problem. If she is denying her son's abusive behavior & flying off the handle after being confronted with it: she's not only allowing that abusive behavior to continue, she's teaching her sons anger control problems as well. I grew up in a similar household. Abusive behavior usually escalates until corrective action is taken. The mother is the AH.
the story with lying about mark being hurt, and haveing to babysit.a comment I said before
Don't forgive people who are not even apologizing.
one of the marriage vows is "in sickness and in health". your BF has already failed this.
Doctor Dad: NAH. First off, this isn't a regular doctor. Casts are orthopedic doctors. He called their primary, meaning he knows who the primary is. He made a mistake while picking up slack from something that is normally Mom's domain. It's no different than if wife forgot the kid's sports bag for practice when that's his purview.
Relationships aren't 50/50 on everything. Trying to make it so is an effort in futility. Some things are 100/0. Some are 0/100. Some are 20/80. Some are 60/40. Support each other and communicate.
I love how Markee pronounces the typos too 😂
"It's hard for him to see me like that". What a pitiful excuse from a pitiful excuse of a man.
uhm. yes. yes you ARE supposed to know your kids' doctors unless its like an immediate/urgent care single visit kinda thing.
I literally do ALL the doctors things for our twins. I'll snag help for vaccine visits so they have a familiar cuddle buddy...
We have had one kid with a few medical problems. Some he just went to a group for (like eczema. he just goes to one specific office and whoever sees him, sees him.)... but my husband KNOWS this info, or at least has it in his phone to reference.
He can fill out medical forms with no issue because THAT IS WHAT A FUCKING PARENT DOES.
Hell.. My Dad knows most of the info because he was our "nanny" for a while.
On the picture’s she still should have made her pay for them even if she just donated it to a good cause because there are a lot of people that keep doing stuff like this because they think as long as they apologize they will get what they want without really having to deal with the Consequences of their actions.
I'm presuming for the engagement photos. OP could have made some of the images fuzzy in photoshop.
I used to be a Medical Assistant and managed the office. Had a dad bring his daughter in for an injection. He told me it was for Depo Provera, an injectable contraceptive. Also used when cycles are a problem. I asked him if he was sure, since the girl was 13. He said yes and signed the paperwork.
As they were leaving he said that was the last injection she needed for school. I stopped him, told him that was NOT a school requirement.
Called the mom and found out she needed a tetanus shot. What an idiot!
The dad not knowing the kids doctor is crazy. I usually take my son to the doctors but multiple people in our family know doctors, dentist, any important numbers in reference to him. When we go to doctors we always verify address even if it just around the corner.
On the 1st story (I think...the cancer story), I know this maybe too late but for those dealing with cancer...I empathize (also a CA survivor) what has been recommended to me (though I haven't tried this yet) is to contact your local Cancer society. According to my varied providers they will help arrange for transport to and from CA appointments. Just something to think on.
OP - sending well wishes - NTA
Mark, you need to stop with the comments about the twin "stealing his girl." That's just gross. They were planning a "one night stand." so it wasn't "his girl." Men need to stop considering women property that can be owned like that just because they are sexually attracted to them.
Cancer girl, realize that you'll always be alone when things get tough and scary. I dated a man who panicked and freeze. Like when I broke MY ankle I was the one that had to keep HIM calm. We stayed together for a few more months but I couldn't take being the only one who was emotionally strong.
Next story.. mom said she was figuring out how to get out of relationship safely.. maybe they had money together or she needed to get security set up..we don't know the entire situation.
to expect to be alone when things get hard defeats the purpose of a relationship
The engagement/ ring story: im on his side actually: she says taking his name is sexist- everyone has to accept that. But him saying: he has to pay for the ring is sexist is s problem?! Why?
Sorry band aid analogy is bad, compared to how piorods work. it's so easy to buy a pack of bandaids and use them the few times you need them.(idk about u but it's not every month) With pads/tampons you have to change them multiple times for at least 5-7days straight, it's not like a bandaid u slap on for a whole day or two (maybe u change it once or twice then its healed) and this also happens every month. Even if your the best planner things happen, where u use more then normal or just forget to restock before next month which goes freaking fast sometimes.
Fun fact pads are cheaper on Amazon I can get 4 packs for $15 😊
Instead of a $100 allowance OP should give his wife joint access to the bank account where his paychecks go, that way she feels more autonomous, like an adult that actually has a say in the family finances and is treated like an equal partner instead of a child who gets an allowance for doing chores.
Absolutely. (Spoken by a husband).
My husband does the bills, and before we retired he did all the shopping. First thing when we retired i started going with him to shop and discovered amazon. He had a very hard time when i put anything in the shopping cart and i finally told him i feel like a child having to get permission to buy ice cream cones or a different hand soap i prefer. Finally i got a credit card in my name. I pay it off at the end of every month and when he wants me to take something out of the cart i just use my card. Its super funny because i doubt i've exceeded 50 dollars on that card. I'm not a spend thrift and he started to relax shopping with me.
agreed. I'm a SAHM myself and I would feel worthless if my husband tried to pull what this guy did. like... it was a mutual decision so it's not longer HIS money, it's now family money.
Last story. Why sell the house? He should use his money to get his own flat. So unfortunate that you're pregnant. He'll make you financially unstable and the abuse you.
So it was definitely a compromise. You don't want to subscribe to patriarchal traditions, then great, we won't subscribe patriarchal traditions. You don't get to only pick the patriarchal traditions that suit you.
The difference between having the same name and getting a pretty ring is astronomically different. Having the same name means you're now one unit, a family. A ring is just a pretty trinket that was brought to you by slavery. Have you heard of diamond minds? I'll take a patriarchal tradition over slavery any day.
The story about the brother buying pads: 100% NTA! A woman at 21yrs old knows how much pads cost. Send with enough money to buy them. If you don't send enough money, don't expect the pads. Period. Then to pitch a fit because your day is now ruined because you have to get them yourself? Grow up and stop using your period as an excuse to be a pain in the ass. People do not have to wait on you just because of your time of month. This opinion is coming from a 40yr old woman.
With the story that had the creeper boyfriend, I am sure her mom didn't question the doorstop because she was thankful she got one for her room after what she read.
The pad one. NTA. The cheapest pads cost $1.25 for a 5 pack at the dollar tree. The cheapest at Walmart is $6. The fact she just gave him $3 then got mad that he didn’t get her them is insane.
No. Maybe that was all the cash she had at that moment. Period cramps are HELL. Without any menstrual hygiene product? Even more hell.
Could she have been more transparent at that moment and told him it's all the cash she had but didn't want to give her card? Sure. But he, after his sister probably did a lot more for him when he was younger, wouldn't have forfeit his life for giving 3$ to buy a box of fucking pads.
@@basti5231you do realize you’re talking to a woman right. I have had those lay on the floor and can’t move period cramps before. But if I ask someone to buy me some menstrual products I damn sure either give them enough money for them or explain that I’ll get the money to them when I get paid.
But then again I’ve never had to do that because I track my period and keep an eye on my pads so that if I’m running low I can get some before my period starts. It’s really not that difficult to do all that, especially since there’s over a thousand apps specifically designed to help you track your period.
The brother and the pads is ABSOLUTELY NOT TAH!! OMG!! The very-much older sister is a USER!! SHE KNEW $3 wasn’t enough and sister has a history of never paying brother back! Seriously!!! Woman!! Get your own crap!! This from a woman from a family of nothing but females!! Hard roll of my eyes!!
I don't understand how the woman who had engagement photos taken at her friends wedding thought that could work. Obviously, the photographer would send the pics to the husband and wife, and they would have no reason to accept and pay for photos that weren't of the wedding party.
Did she think the photographer would just separate hers out and send them over? It would be really weird if she thought her friend would purchase those pics and give them to her.
Besides being in extremely poor taste, it makes no sense logistically speaking.
well, for my wedding and a lot of my friends' weddings, we opted for packages where we would receive all the files as part of it. we didn't have to pay individually.
Regarding not knowing Dr. appointment: Your child's medical issues are 100% your wife's responsibility and 100% YOUR responsibility. The sports are in a very different level of importance, much lower.
Yooooo the comment about the adrenaline rush from sneaking an expensive bra into a man's hamper? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 *chef's kiss *
I would never tell anyone but my SO about sex or sexual anatomy. Mothers are so meddling, bossy and curious,
Normally I don’t suggest the silent treatment, but he def deserves you ignoring him. You want a significant partner, you gotta treat them right.
_"Inject money into a failed business."_ Of course businesses can come back from the ashes, but it's unlikely.
In this day and age every Dad and Mom need to have their childrens Doctor(pediatrician),Dentist, Coach, listed in their phone contacts. Mobile smart phones are mini computers you can do GPS with the address listed and add *notes.
The engagement ring/name taking one. They’re both correct about the traditions being sexist. The name one because the bride was forced to take her husband’s last name. Everyone knows that whole song and dance.
The engagement ring is sexist as well. The man in the relationship is expected to go out and spend 3x his monthly salary on a ring he’s probably not gonna get back if the engagement/marriage gets called off for any reason. That is $3480 cheapest if you have a $7.25 minimum wage job/server job. And if he doesn’t get a ring that expensive he is seen as cheap, broke, unable to provide, and pathetic even if it was her/his/their idea not to get a ring that expensive. Not to mention the fact that once the ring leaves the store all the value of a diamond hits the drain.
It’s honestly more practical to put that 3x salary into a savings account made to grow over time and gift that to the fiancé instead of wasting it on a diamond ring that’s only valuable for as long as the person who “made” that diamond cut is popular.
Boyfriend is the REAL tumor IMO. Dump him and set up rides through the hospital and or health insurers. Maybe can do inpatient treatment for cancer. Explain it to the cancer team and ask for support
PADS: NTA
If the sister (who is 21) knew the specific brand then she should know that $3 is not enough. OP even said that he looked around and NO pads were being sold for $3 which is not a shock to anyone who buys period products regularly. Additionally, she asked her brother to get them for her because he happened to be going to the store but got mad when he asked her for the money to buy it?! She obviously didn’t give him enough on purpose. Also, I am a woman!! I would never ask someone to buy me that without giving them the proper money to do so! And many responses ignored the fact that OP said in his post that she never pays him back so why should he pay with his own money knowing that he will probably never see that money again? The sister is the asshole here.
Story 1: As someone who has been in hospitals for long periods incredibly ill (including having stage 4 cancer), I understand OP's desire to have someone she cares for show some consideration and support during such a scary time for her. I've also had loved ones who've used the excuse of "It's too hard for me to see you like that", which I do have empathy for. However, they've not considered what I need in those times and it's all about them. Having someone you love come to visit you for a few minutes can make a world of difference when you're so incredibly unwell and deeply scared. I imagine it's a similar thing for OP in that while she's empathetic that this may be hard for the BF, he's not once considered the fact that she needs that support and love to help her get through a truly hard time. Having cancer is no joke, and his refusal to even lift a finger to spend time with her or show his support speaks volumes to me.
Woo hoo more Markee!❤️❤️☝️☝️⬆️⬆️
story 2: personally im someone that would love for people to get engaged at my wedding's RECEPTION (definitely not during ceremony) but hell nah op delete that shit she wants free professional photography?? on your day?? without telling you nothing?? nah nah nah
I never understand why perants treat younger children differently when it comes to teaching them manners. All my children have been brought up to respect other people.
just in time for another writing session!
Please say you mean you also write while listening to this?
@@quinnquinn9758 yep
🤣🤣🤣🤣Markee is so funny! That tease lol! I would say do whatever makes u happy because it aint supposed to happen at ur wedding.
I was a mother at 17 and have spent the last 40 years apologizing to my son for being an abysmal parent. I was 23 when I had the next one and the difference was so noticeable, that’s what made me aware of how awful a mother I had been to my first. But it’s an individual thing even more than age I think. But the over 5 years of maturing for me made a big difference.
The pad lady, and everyone calling him an asshole... Dude hes her brother, not her boyfriend. He does not have an obligation to buy his sister pads, even less spend his own money or part of it to buy them.. The whole deal is rather ridiculous.
he didn't "steal the girl"
The period story, NTA at all. I’m female and the fault is on her. She is 21, she is old enough to know about having a period. She is old enough is know that if you run out, you get more. It’s not a matter of boy brain, it’s a matter of money and the fact it was a favor that he didn’t have to do.
If someone won't ride with you when it's bad they don't deserve to ride when it's good. Your bf is making excuses to not be there. Think if this is hard for him now what will be do when its your children?
Perpetuating the traditions you like and fighting the ones you dislike is BS.
22:20 😂 Holy crap I laughed so hard at Markee's input
The story about the intimate sex life issue preventing pregnancy story ended so well
@markee do you do any creepypasta narrations? You sound like one of the narrators I've listened to before. Your voice is perfect for it.
I still think the boyfriend and the sister in the stripper flat story have something going on because she's really digging her heels in and now she's trying to involve the parents OP is estranged from for no reason? He was trying to steal from her and sis is like "no, keep him around" and then when she doesn't "well now i'm gonna tell mom and dad!" Something is up.
53:45 sorry adult sister a lack of planning on your part doesn't make an emergency on mine
"Dumb boy brain." I died!!!
If he cannot be there at your worse he cannot be there at you best. Run with the speed of a cheetah at lunch time from him. Get rid of him.
Wedding story.
I realize Covid has made some interesting "rule" changes but A very good friend of mine got married last year (we both brew beer together: important later) but his wedding was the first time lots of our friends had been in the same building togeather since the start of the pandemic. Well when you arent drinking at the wedding of your beer buddy and you haven't seen anyone in over a year... some folks find out things when you wouldnt normally want them too. Now Bride was made aware I was pregnant before the wedding (my original outfit didnt fit day of so we had to make some last minute changes) But for like a third of my friend group, they found out I was pregnant at my friend's wedding. I didnt tell anyone until the reception. (There were some other things I was supposed to do for the wedding, I was wedding party adjacent) That I couldn't do due to being pregnant that kinda put a damper on that "not announcing at a wedding"
Now for me, Bride was already aware I was pregnant. Groom wasn't but I've known him for years and could have told him 6 times and he wouldnt remember.
Sounds just like an apartment in NY. Hot in summer, cold in winter.
OP/Engagement Ring issues...
EVERYONE SUCKS!!!
OP had a point, putting a Ring on a Womans Finger is just as Sexist as changing a last name.
It's Domenation, & depicts property of someone.
I'm not knocking it, I'll piss on what's mine if it keeps someone from taking or wanting it.
I'm all about ownership of my Partner.
I don't Control them, but I'm not sharing.
I am fine with someone knowing I'm taken as well. RING, ETC.
But OP isn't wrong about it feeling Sexist.
none of that is sexist. as a kid with a different last name of anyone in my family... i felt left out.
@@azadalamiq I'm not saying it is Sexist. I just understand that some people could look @ it that way.
Eye of the beholder!
As for your issue, I understand it's hard!
My youngest has a different last name from Myself & her Older Sister.
Oldests father vanished well I was Pregnant.
Youngests Dad is on the picture, but we don't live together. We (My kids & I) live with my Dad, My Mom passed.
But my youngest feels left out from not having the same name as the rest of us.
So I really understand your pain.
She has expressed her sadness over it since she was 4, starting School!
I wish I could change her name to make her feel better, unfortunately I can't. Legality of the situation.
She's in School & although her Legal name is on the intake Paperwork,
Her School Teachers have been understanding so far that she wants to use My last name on her Paperwork!
Best I can do for her @ this time!
Lol all who says that OP not buying an engagement ring for it being sexist after his GF does not want to take on his last name just because she deems it sexist ... are all boinkers. So he has to take her feelings in consideration but she does not? Nope, OP is not the A-hole nor is he wrong. Her views have and ARE a double standard.
Also she wants a ring? Then she can buy her own damn ring. The entire wedding crap is bullshit anyway ... why is it always the man who has to buy the goddamn ring. "Oh because it is proof that he loves her" ... ah and where is her proof? Or does female only love the money a male provides? Then that is not "love".
Do you realize how abusive you are being? I was a SAH wife the first year of my marriage. I’d ask my husband for money. I’d get this what did you do with the money I’d gave you last week, or what ever? It’s degrading and abusive! YTA! Major YTA!
To quote my brother and the aristocats, "she's not a girl, she's a sister"
To woman spending her savings: refuse to pay for the wifi etc. Eventually your money will be gone. Squirrel away enough to get back to family.
Tell them to check Google to show you how to change a lightbulb fix a toilet etc.
The first girl wasn't looking for advice she was looking to vent.
Asthma: Your GF's irrationality reminds me of anti-vaxers or anti-maskers who had their heads scrambled by flakes on the internet, She seems to think allergies are just polite excuses to refuse food. All she cares about is that you approve of her food. If she kills you in the process so be it, She believes the internet over you. You must reuse to eat anything she cooks.
Curious as to why OP feels he has no other option than to depend on his antagonistic girlfriend to cook everything. Does he ever take a turn with that chore? I think ESH, and that they are incompatible, but he doesn't seem to be taking any responsibility for either shopping for non-allergic ingredients or cooking them. Maybe he should dump her and subsist on frozen dinners whose ingredient lists he can inspect. Or learn to prepare simple meals for himself, AND find a better girlfriend. The current one sounds like she may have a streak of anti-Asian racism.
Pad story: its 2024, i live in england. It's horrifying to hear that u couldn't buy pads for $3!??
Over here, u can get em for £0.34/$0.43. I was actually surprised as i don't have a period so i don't buy them often. A few weeks ago, i had to pick sum up for my friend and i was so relieved and happy to see that u could get a decent pack of pads for so cheap still!
For anyone interested, i live in the Midlands and i picked em up from a Tesco Express (the smaller corner shops). Usually a Tesco Express costs so much more than a Tesco Extra (full sized supermarket), but it seems they go to the extra effort to not raise the price of certain items. Usually their own brand (which these pads were), whereas everything else costs like 5x more lol
They had different absorbency ratings available for that price, they didn't sell the highest rating in the shop tho.
The next most expensive option was literally like 42p as well! They do the same with tampons from what i saw.
I don't understand how twins can be so hostile to each other from such a young age. What did the parents do, or not do? Both brothers are ah...but so are the parents.