Be respectful in comments please. No matter what your opinions are, you can improve your game by listening my new audiobook, The Authentic Attraction Method: highintegrityskills.com/book1b
Yeah, it's also not helpful advice for guys either. I feel all current dating advice is about hypergamy, looks, status and money. "Ok, I need to become a top 1% guy" but.... how is that helpful? By definition only one in a hundred can get there!!!!
Yes, they speak broadly hoping that 1% of those men that they desire will get the hint and take action, not realizing that those men don't want to go near these type of women
I'm certainly no expert on women, but the 20 or so years of experience I have with them has taught me one thing. It all comes down to attraction. They're either into you or they're not. It's that simple. Sure there are probably some things you can do to make a woman more attracted to you, but there's not much you can do to screw it up if they already are. A guy she's attracted to who comes up and says nothing has a better chance than the guy she's not attracted to who says all the right things. This should be common sense, but we all know how common that is...
If I was to make a video on Attraction this would be it… if she’s attracted to you she will make it easy as possible to approach her and talk to her! Obviously you can still mess it up, but she will give you multiple signs to approach her over months … Even if she’s with someone else ! 👍🏾💯
From the moment boys are born they are feed the lie that all you have to do is just be nice. Attraction doesn’t work that way. Attraction can’t be negotiated, it can’t be purchased. It doesn’t matter how much you simp over a woman, it’s not going to make her attracted to you, if you look like a slob. Looks are everything. You would be amazed at what women will let guys get away with, when they are attracted to them. You can be a serial killer and women will make excuses for you when you’re attractive. That’s way the first thing any guy should do that is struggling with women, is fix your appearance.
@@JohnPickup-CDHS-ze6qd I have to disagree. I've personally screwed up with women that were attracted to me, and seen it happen to a few other guys. I was too generous with the compliments, my gifts, and my time, and they would get cold.
I also have to disagree. When women don't know you, they are attracted to a fantasy they create of you. It's pretty easy to talk too much on a first date. You need to very slowly introduce them to the real you, otherwise, abruptly shattering their fantasy can break the initial attraction. Luckily, it's easy to let them do 80% of the talking on the first few dates.
My sister told me i should give gifts to women on first dates cuz “its cute that she remembers she got that gift on a first date”. After i asked her if she ended up in a relationship with any guy that gave her a gift, she said no. When i asked her if a guy giving her a gift raised her attraction toward him she said no
she was trying to make a womanservant from you. They all do that. They all trying to betatization approach on men coz that's how they get leverage in relationships.
Agreed, but women spin their energy in unproductive speculation and over-thinking. It’s like the woman who’s angry with her man because she had a dream of him cheating. She will hold that against him to the point of breaking up. Women are submarines to their ship of happiness.
@@sole__doubt Women that say this actually it makes sense. A lot of men try to be the funny guy or the cool guy and act fake and women detect that they are trying to put all these unauthentic tricks to 'win' them over. When in reality being confident in yourself and carrying normal conversation and flirting and planning the date is the correct way. Aka being authentic is what women mean.
@@arthurcallahan4735 "Aka being authentic is what women mean." Ok fair enough but they are leaving out the most important part in that if they dont find you attractive, none of that matters.
women want this, women want that, women want, women........want want want. Have you noticed the amount of mens improvement videos, and how men should cater to women ? Yet there are never any videos on how women should treat a man or better themselves ?. Only for what they should expect from men.
@stuwilldoo7035 I get frustrated with this too. Generally, men and western society as a whole tends to have lesser standards and expectations for women.
That's because women hold all the leverage in the courtship process. Of course they're going to hold that over us to get as much as they can. If it were the other way around, we would do the same.
haha shit, i was going to comment the same thing...yeah i dont really care about all these dating "coaches" who have recylced others reframed and what not, either shes with it, or not. I`m not going to jump through all these "Wants", when she knows what i want, then i´ll talk with her... Stop catering to females!
Most female dating coaches provide idealistic, surface-level advice without any attempt to delve even slightly more deeply, and useful only to those who don't even need it.
Their advice is tailored to their demographic, simps. Dating coaches make money off long term clients who keep failing. Simps want female dating coaches because female coaches will tell them exactly what they want to hear. Be soft, be nice. Male dating coaches..."You are fat AF. Eat this diet. 1 hour of cardio everyday, weights every other day."
Most female dating coaches have zero idea what attracts a man because they think emotionally. Men are logical creatures, and being logical and trying to be appealing to emotional is a mine field men have to cross, and there are far more mines than safe spaces to step.
what she said it's true, but takes some effort to become "attractive" - but you are looking for "tricks of the game" and how to "sell" yourself. when the "product" is great, there's very little to no "selling" required.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions and piece of advice women give to guys about dating is “make her laugh”. I don’t know how many people I have seen say “if you can make her laugh, she yours”, but they never mention the most important part. She wants the guy she’s already attracted to make her laugh, not the invisible average guys. If she’s not attracted to you but you can make her laugh hysterically, congratulations, you’ve just bought a first class ticket to the Friendzone as her own private jester. However, I will admit that if she’s already attracted to the guy and that guy makes her laugh hysterically, he does indeed have her. All this is to say that the advice women give very much needs to caveat of “she wants the guy she is already attracted to to have *insert quality*, not the average guy at Walmart”. Keep up the great work!
Misunderstanding of the rule. The point is that if she likes you she will laugh at pretty much anything you say. So the purpose is not to make her laugh, but to use her laughing or not laughing as a gauge of whether she likes you.
It's a lot like a fish trying to give advice about fishing techniques and recommending to just toss the bait into the water with no idea how the hook, line and rod work lol
@@prism223 There are women on RUclips that love fishing. Some of them are pretty humble models who’d rather be van life’ing it or fishing. Just tossing that out there if you wondered if some women can catch a fish, figure out what they’re eating and use the appropriate fly they tied. Your dream girl, the fishing model. 😂
The most important insight is actually that people don’t typically behave the way they tell you they will behave in a given situation so surveying like this is nearly pointless.
Yep, their expectation lists for us are pretty long. Especially when all I ask for is love, support, respect and loyalty in a long-term relationship. All of which go hand-in-hand, but the last one seems to be the hardest one for them to accept. There are far too many other penis varieties out there for them to enjoy, rather than settling for just one.
i know love is important. But trying to find it via getting good at 'dating' is like trying to find polar bears in the sahaara. Wrong place, wrong task. Love is about friendships and self acceptance. This is a game of being comfortable with who you are not on convincing everyone you are worth their time. When was the last time you made a friend because you took friendship making advice courses where you said all the right things and had all the body language to convince them you are worth their time. You didn't. People over value good looks and under value being unique and we find ourselves trying to play the wrong game because the wrong game is what everyone cares about in their youth. No old person at the end of their life is thinking about anything other than the value of friendship with their partner. thats real love.
@zkdontplay As a man you are way less likely to find love with a woman you are attracted to if you cannot attract women on a regular basis and are already selected or pre selected as we say. Dating is extremely darwinian, especially female attraction for men.
Fr. You gotta have an understanding of what you want out of dating. Is it worth it to get the girl if you have to disown yourself in the process of making yourself more attractive?
This point is same conclusion I made after consuming dating and red pill content for over 4 years. It has become the factory that makes young men into robots and deny our uniqueness. Men can do more to improve themselves in all spheres of life but have to ensure that they keep the core of their uniqueness.
I could not disagree with you more. Romantic love does not start with friendship in 99.9% of cases, it starts with attraction (which is both physical and emotional). Dating is about that kind of attraction - friendship is not. I wasted years of my life stuck in the friend zone w girls I wanted a romantic relationship with. Dating is also a market and it aligns with market forces of supply, demand, and perceived costs and value. If you just want friends then none of that applies. I don't want the above to give the impression that I failed: I lived in New York and dated and slept with models and other 9s and 10s. I got that out of my system after I changed myself to not get friendzoned. Now I'm at the age where I do cherish my friends for life, but I'm also happily single and have zero time or patience for any games. If it happens it happens, but rule number one is learn how to be self-sufficient and happy with yourself without needing anyone.
These insights are on point. I spent over a decade figuring out attraction as a short Chinese guy in Toronto. Tried a lot of different things to increase my success in dating. Learned the most when I got a job at a night club; seeing how social proof, an abundance mindset, tons of exposure to lots of women on a regular basis sets a solid foundation for what works. On the flip side, leading with money, over complimenting and chasing dries ladies right up. Thanks.
Hey I'm in toronto and afraid of toronto girls lol, any advice? I don't do night clubs and my friends are all getting married so i can't go out with them to meet people. I want to approach myself but idk something about toronto girls kinda scare me like they would respond with a no embarrassingly loud
@@rjgn4054 without knowing more about your situation, I would start by taking a look at myself first to optimise your chances. There's a lot to unpack there; you need to consider appearance, body language, speech, confidence, etc. Be the best version of yourself possible. Then be aware of the woman and the environmental context you are encountering her. On line dating is a no-go for the vast majority of men, and cold approach is possible, but very difficult unless the conditions are right and you really stand it in a positive way. Meeting people through other people works well, as in it pre-qualifies you as not being a creep. Meeting through activities, classes, or work gives you an organic reason to engage in conversation. There are countless sources of wisdom on RUclips that tackle various aspects well. This channel seems to be sensitive to our unique situation pretty well. I found in my experience that Asian women are most receptive racially to Asian men. I've had luck with other erhnicies, but the ratio isn't even close. I'm going to recommend "OrionTaraban" for psychology, "Austin Summers" for cold approach, "Charisma on Command" for social skills, and "Michael Sartain" on insights into how a lot of women think. Full disclosure, I've been married for since 2010, and still very much love my wife. I'm still fascinated with attraction and relationships, that's why I still love this type of content. Good luck, brother.
It's getting old but "never ask the fish" and this is the reason. Women really don't understand what they are talking about most of the time. Women coaches just pray on unacknowledged weak men.
@@WealthWeaves Steve Jobs basically said you have to tell people what they want. This is why Apple is so feverishly successful, at least during the iPod and iPhone eras
Excellent breakdown dude. It's good to know that you're giving constructive criticism...recognizing the good and bad in her advice, rather than most people who would tear it down and berate her, this is the way 👏
Yes, NEVER tell a woman she is beautiful. This comes off as weak and unimaginative. I have always commented that she “looked interesting”. This often elicits a question or conversation in response.
you cant give a away the information, that you want her, even without knowing a single thing about who she is . I think that is a big killer of attraction. She needs to know that you are the kind of guy, who is willing to walk off if you dont like how she behaves.
“95% Wished they were approached more”, maybe. Just for pure validation because even the ones they’re not attracted to (the majority of them), they still get a kick out of shooting him down, then posting a video criticising men for approaching her when she wasn’t interested.
I’ve actually gotten a lot of dates in the past by saying exactly that “hi, my name is Chris and I thought you were pretty and I just wanted to say hello. How are you?” Convo ensued and usually got their number. Whatever you do be sincere
ya, men have to do all the learning, trial and error, in order to know how to date, how to meet and attract someone, reminds of a comment discussion i saw going on instagram and i agree with it, it went like this: "why aren't there accounts like these for girls? it seems guys have to do all the learning" and a guy said "women just exist and dudes line up for her" and it continued: "women don't have to learn game, let alone almost do anything to get guys. They just go out, be there, just be there, look pretty and get attention, options for just existing. Unfortuneately, we as guys have to learn this crap to get women into our lives. Getting girls is a skill that has to be practiced repeatedly" i thought that summed it up perfectly, ya for guys, men, getting women is a skill, but for women, getting guys is not a skill, but not the other way around, never was a fan of how reality has to be this way, oh well, it will never change sadly.
That is decidedly NOT true. You won't see all the dating and relationship coaches for women if you don't seek them out. That's how the algorithm works. I see coaches geared towards men and women because I seek them both out and the algorithm knows that.
@@cheezedoodlenygguh6229 it honestly depends on the goal of the woman. You're right about women having no difficulty attracting a man, IF she's reasonably attractive and looking for something casual. But if she desires marriage that narrows the dating pool quite a bit. If the woman is like me, someone who is religious and wants a conservative religious man, that narrows it even further. You're assuming that every eligible woman wants the same thing as a man and that's a bad mistake to make
I wouldn’t stress over it fellas, if the opportunity is there make the approach and see if she’s interested, if not no biggie. Focus on being the best version of yourself and being successful, cuz if you are women will be automatically drawn to you. If you’re broke and not putting in the work she’ll eventually leave you for someone better anyway.
What about all of us "middle of the road"-guys who put in enough work to not be fat and to be able to live comfortably with some left over each month? Your advice is to "hustle" or she's gonna leave first chance? No thanks. I'd rather stay single, stress free and happy then. If women can't see what a good and stable life they could built with me, that's their loss.
@@JC-Finance yeah, this, again, is useful to guys who “get it.” With dwindling presentations of constructively masculine men in media and society (the Homer Simpsons and Peter Griffins are much more common), and dating coaching at large being labeled hateful (unless, of course, it’s purveyed with ambiguous, can’t-be-construed-as-offensive, functionally unhelpful language… by one specific gender), a very microscopic minority of men just naturally “get it.” So your advice isn’t as useful as you might hope. Most guys don’t even know the structure of the game, let alone the things to do to play, let alone the things to do to win.
Pretty solid video with some good critiques. That said, I'd add that most good therapists wouldn't want you to go in circles not getting out there & taking action if you come in with a goal of working on your dating life. They'll at the very least work with you on identifying what skills/tools you need or hangups you need to break down to start getting out there.
I’ve done this multiple times when approaching women. It has worked out great. Has led me into dates and even my present relationship. Literally, saw a women in park who I thought was attractive no introduced myself and started a conversation with her. This for me has led to many conversations with beautiful women, which have led to dates, and then to a relationship. Cannot be scared to go out and try talking to a woman who you think is beautiful. This also helps you in your day to day life and your career.
Its refreshing to hear some deeper advice. I used to go up to women and be like that. Try to find something interesting about them. But I found what works for me is declaring my interest by telling them i am attracted to them. In other words, using words like beautiful or gorgeous. I do see, my direct approach (direct game) is limited. Because you would want to find something deeper than that. But what I think is that if I am trying to find something deeper in every woman I am attracted to, then I feel like what I would be saying to them isnt honest. At least when I tell a woman she is beautiful , im being truthful. I feel like i am being genuine. To find something interesting about them right away on the fly, is too much of a stretch. I dont know her well enough. I can only go from her looks. that's the only thing I can respond to.
People will say, "Just approach more IRL." But they seem to forget that these women will still be on IG and apps regardless. I mean, you can definitely make a better first impression in person. But her online pipeline doesn't suddenly dry up either.
@@FlamingManofIron Hmm your missing what he is saying, it's not BS, rather a lot of what she says in narrow. She is basing what she is saying on her cliente and personal experience(social curcle), which doesn't apply to everyone. This guy is giving great complementary advice.
Spot on with the body language clusters (women looking away can be good sign) and only smiling for the first 2-3 seconds. Not only does the smile come across fake, it’s also just creepy.
Your closing statement perfectly describes game, never had someone break it it down with such clarity and authenticity. Keep up the good work. Also, I just got your book.
I was doing pick up all through my 20s until I met my wife in field. I used direct openers like this lady recommends. A Direct open will almost always be a positive interaction. She won’t want to date, but for beginners its good to learn girls aren’t just going to destroy you when you approach. You will need to practice a lot more of the interaction AFTER the opening line, but there is nothing wrong with the lines and they are easier to learn than other forms of pick up that make men have to buy not so great books.
What men fail to understand is that good advice used in the wrong context is bad advice. If you focus on becoming situationally aware, better at reading people and picking up on cues, LISTENING to the person you're talking to and show genuine interest in who they are, and not what you can get out of them, you will be immensely more successful. Provide value and show vulnerability with the person you are talking to, and you may get the same in return. If you don't, it wasn't a good match. Move on. If you are not happy and secure with yourself, it will come out in your social interactions and it will drive people away. You should be inviting someone on your journey, not forcing your way into theirs.
Thank you very much for the advice around the ten minute mark, I’ve finished week 2 pick-up journey and so far approached around 100 women, around 80 started with those generic compliments, the other 20 received generic compliments three sentences into the conversation. All ended in rejection. In my case it’s not only that but slowly I’m learning where to improve.
It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been able to pick up women. Haven’t had much of an interest in almost anybody. I personally think I’m far better looking now and higher value than I used to be. But when my game was strong, I didn’t compare myself much to the giga chads. I knew I was average. I was comfortable with that and happy in my own skin. Something tells me that was part of the reason I was more successful.
My go to conversation starters at supermarkets is either “I like your nails, what color is that?”(they paid to get their nails done). My second opener is “I like your shoes”, she put thought into her outfit. Neither one of these is a “pickup line”.
These are honestly really lovely to hear, for the reason it's not just about our looks and if you find us hot or not. Frankly, if a guy is approaching us we already know the attraction is there. When you compliment our tastes, or something we have taken time on it means a lot more to us. You have taken the time to notice the small things about us, for us this actually instantly tells us a lot about YOU. That you are attentive, thoughtful, respectful, and perhaps even have an interest in fashion we could talk about. Nice work! We love being told we are stylish, as opposed to sexy 🙆♀️
“At night, you should disable your security alarm and unlock your front door. It is also great practice to put all of your valuables in one location only, preferably in an easily accessible area. Make sure that you write down on a notepad where you put your valuables and place the note on the kitchen table.” - Robber coaching a home owner.
That simple approach advice could work well in a country club setting where girls are looking for guys of their same or above social level. Girls would look past the fact it is a generic and cheesy line under the right circumstances as you said.
Haha so awesome to hear this comment at about 30:30 about infield footage. I agree. Some of those Coaches (RSD wink wink) went a bit over board with crazyness and marketing, but it was definitely a wild and fun time, excitement was in the air and a thirst for new adventures. That has changed with the restrictive, authoritarian energy of recent, and I could be wrong - but I really feel like it takes more active energy to cultivate a free and fun attitude and that exact mindset than it did ^^
I've got an idea for a pick-up line in public. When approaching a woman, pointe at any other random woman and say, my sister tells me you are too hot not to talk to," because women care more about what other women think than they care about what men think. Men make the mistake of thinking women are looking for their admiration, when in fact they want other women's admiration. Guys have no idea how hard their facade is to create, so compliments from women, who do understand the effort of building a facade, have far more impact.
@bigheadrhino the lie is not for no reason, unless you make it a habit of never going out in public without a chick, it's to break the ice with them on an emotional high, because they literally care more about what other women think than what men think. You could say, don't look now but that chick over there was checking you out hard. Is that better for you? It's not even a lie, because if she's hot you know the other chick was checking her out. They dress up for each other not for us.
Increase your social status, improve your personality, humor, communication skills, know how to have fun, behave like an adult, have strong values, don't be impressed just by looks, have a good lifestyle & home - and 90% of the work is done. After that put yourself in social settings where the women you like are, have slow, relaxed interactions and you'll attract women and have choices. If you are looking for a relationship and you are trying to make a woman date you or like you, you have already lost. Even if you somehow manage it, you'll have the wrong relationship dynamic forever, where you'll have to always prove yourself somehow. The only thing you should focus on - is to make sure they will like who you are - and you won't need to "sell" yourself. What you have to do after that is just to initiate the interaction like any other regular social interaction-be normal-and it will escalate from there if there's attraction.
You my friend , are extending true insights … females state things - that are socially acceptable. And frequently act different when no one is watching
I’m considered conventionally attractive by most metrics…very tall and very built. I’ve still gotten negative responses from “hey I just noticed you from over there” and “I thought you were really attractive”. She’ll tend to keep the conversation flowing but will definitely resent me for it.
This chick said she couldn't help me; literally won't take my hard earned dollars as I told her I have mental illnesses. She was very nice about it and I thanked her for her opinion that I needed to work on myself first before dating. I've been divorced and single for 10 years; I've raised my children, they are in college now or graduated college. I want and need Love. Don't I deserve love? She doesn't think I'm ready for love. I am. I NEED love. I am so LONELY. But she is ok with me staying lonely because I have a mental illness. Ok, I see her point. But I still need love and I think love will help my mental illness. I wfh, I see noone. I have friends but I live alone and I am alone a lot. I Just Want A Partner! I Do Not Want to Die Alone. Does she understand that or care? Probably not but that's ok. She is an ok person. I think. I am just lonely and alone and she doesn't need to care. Thanks for reading. All the Best for All of Us Single People out here that lonely and alone. TY! - Lou
For clarification: I am on the apps, I'm in Los Angeles, and I have no problems whatsoever gettting matches and women to go on a first date with me. It's the getting a SECOND date, or SEX, that I do not get. I've been on so many of these dates, and they are always a f'n INTERVIeW. IT"S SO FRUSTRATING. UGH! I am apparently an egomaniac and I'm not interested enough in them. Ok, Fair. Most women are not interesting.... I am very interesting and can talk for hours about anything....
I don't know if you deserve love, or not. But compiling a list of reasons why you think you do, might be a good exercise. Love MAY help with your mental illness, but it is not someone else's job to fix you. Further, women primarily care about themselves, so in this relationship equation there needs to be a lot more in it for her than you.
@@InnerbloomRecords agreed and I've acceded that I just am who I am and maybe someone will like that; I think that is possible so I'm not giving up hope. Life is Good! Thanks!
I miss the days when we weren’t influenced by media on how we should be dating. We just went with it. We are so consumed with what is that right way or wrong way. We are constantly being told how to be or how to act. We know too much about so many wants and needs that belong to millions of different people, we are getting confused. Every man is different, he also has different needs/wants/standards/preferences to the next guy. Same for women. As long as both sides can accept a ‘No’ and respectful and take it with grace, we are good. Same when you reject someone, be kind. In my 20s, if I saw a man I was attracted to, I’d wait until the end of the night and tell him he’d dropped a napkin, and it would have my number. Reason I’d wait until the end is so I wasn’t interrupting their night with friends & I had a quick getaway , but also I’m quite shy. lol. If I heard, great. If I didn’t. I got my answer.
@NadiaInMotion It's not the same thing. Y'all want roughly the same guys while Men are more varied in their preferences. Dating age men are more likely to be alone for this reason.
This is my first time seeing one of your videos. I really appreciate your intuition and thoughtfulness in how you are reviewing this advice! Thank you for doing your diligence in "understanding the struggle"! (personally, my struggle has reached the the point of giving up and maintaining hope for other men to have success :) )
Kind of curious how many harassment claims and restraining orders or times the cops get called when a regular guy who is not her type or isn't a 6 foot or taller, 6 pack abs and 6 figure income takes her advice
@@kayligo While I agree with you in some cases, and if the woman tell you to not hit on them and the guy continues then that can be harassment. and that does happen a lot. However, it absolutely does happen and with the decades of women and feminists yelling at men to stop. Why would we want to do what she suggests and risk it, even if is a small percentage relatively.
I don’t have an issue with her advice about keeping things simple. Too many guys overcomplicate the approach. That said, I have often gotten positive responses from women and have even been approached on several occasions. I listened to this podcast of her and what I found frustrating was her dismissal of the significance of rejection. Yes it happens to all of us, but it clearly shows how little she understands the male perspective.
@jaguar1383 there's been periods of my life when I was a scrawny kid, periods when I was a bit overweight, and periods when I'm walking around at 10-15% bodyfat. There's a vast difference in how women treated me in each of these different stages. Some of the guys I see complain put zero effort into their body, their clothes, their hair, or their money.
As you pointed out towards the end of the video, there are different levels to the advice given. Dating is definitely a skill. I'm okay at dating, but I believe it's because I don't really practice enough to become good at it. My question to you is: At what point do I justify giving up effort in one aspect of my life to put some effort into dating to find my wife?
Relax guys, don´t think about it too much. Be yourself. Get rid of the thought that you could lose something when you approach a woman. There are sooo many women on this planet. If it is not this one, then it´s the next one. Just treat them like you don´t need them because guess what: you don´t need them. You get rejected? Her miss and she will never know what she´s missing.
5'1 guy, I havnt had that much of an issue with woman, its hard at times because they will look at you with disgust but they are not all like that, the best thing I ever did for myself was work out, after 3 years I was in very good shape and I attracted a lot of attention from females, its not easy but that helped a lot
Wait for her to look over, have it in your backmind if you sense or see that shes looking just look back and give her a smile. If she responds cool greet her. If she greets you back, cool go on and tell her what you think maybe you like her smile. Maybe you dont like her smile but her voice is sweet or she just said it the right way. Build on that. After that you can introduce yourself and tell her what you want from her.
I just stumbled across this video. As a white guy who is pretty well off but doesn't have much of a social life, you brought up some very good points. The art of turning a "no" into a "yes" seems useful, but it honestly feels like walking on ice: you never know if it's going to break. I've met women who have said, "I wasn't attracted to my husband at first, but he eventually won me over." Out of those who said that, I believe one is still married to the same guy. The others have divorced. My personal desire is to find a girl who already wants me, who I don't have to "convince". Now hear me when I say this: I know it is important as a man to keep improving so you can be in a better position throughout your life (especially with regard to women). But there seems to be a line somewhere in which you stop improving and start "trying to please." Which doesn't end well. I'm sure you talk about this in your book or other videos. Bottom line: Self improvement as a man is necessary, but any woman you have to perform for won't be worth it in the long run.
They want to be approached more because they get a confidence boost by rejecting average guys. This women can't understand that what women tell her and what they actually respond to are completely different.
Basically women give advice for guys they already have high interest in, but guy coaches try to figure out how to manipulate to make her more interested.
It's like women forget that in order for the things they tell us to do to work only work if you're the guy they want coming up to them. And the funny part about this is you can go to a girl who wants you to come up to her and sad or do basically anything.
Hi Blaine. Nice to meet another Blaine. 🤣 On a real note, don't be nice. Be you, unapologetically. Faking anything makes you worthless. Take it from someone who has been through it.
Great video! I have a bit of reflection for the Christian brothers out there, since there is another level of limitations and structure with for us, makes things more challenging. The good thing is that the racial dynamic that the presenter talks about is not such a big barrier for theological reasons, and most Christian girls I've met never let this become a factor (maybe I'm biased due to my ethnicity, to be fair). But the bigger impediment is that we are very very likely to end up in a friend-zone; more so than non-Christians. Christian ladies are the same as the secular counterpart, just one more essential condition, and much more likely to friend-zone you due to the misalignment between the secular dating culture that they grew up, and the concept of Christian courtship which they have never seen. This is why Christian girls go for non-believers and try to change them into believers; which is a complete waste of time. After that relationship fails, their emotional baggage leads them to try to establish common faith when they meet you before moving towards romance. But, once you have established common faith and emotional vulnerability, they default to seeing you as, not just a guy in the friend-zone, but the brother-in-Christ-zone. If by chance, they pursue you, they default to the worldly pattern of attachment by infatuation first. In short, lack of good council from older women and unrealistic expectations with an inability to trust good council when it comes. Girls compete with one another, but men compete for them. This means they will always prefer male friends without being willing to believe their intentions are romantic. And due to the paucity of healthy emotionally grounded relationships and leadership in the society of women, they never want to let a platonic relationship go that gives them what they lack; at least until they have a fear of losing it.
What may be being missed in this discussion is that “even guys who are objectively good looking will much too often not approach a woman even when the setting is close to ideal.” We are likely forgetting that even good looking guys may be too shy and reluctant to place themselves in a position to be turned down. Some guys, despite their looks, don’t have “game” and these are partially the ones this coach is speaking to. “Remember that if the guy does not approach even if he is found to be attractive, chances are probably close to a 100% that nothing will happen.” Even if on the attractiveness scale, he and his target are on par at let’s say 8 or 9. The secondary issue perhaps being missed here is that this female coaches piece may be interpreted as an implicit encouragement for men in general, to approach any woman. By this, I mean, it may be assumed that she is suggesting that even moderately attractive males 5-6 on the scale, to approach any women, objectively in the 7-9 category. This will generally not work unless the man can display some kind of an unusual show of perceived enhanced value…such as high socioeconomic status…or other qualities that the woman may appreciate disproportionately. Notwithstanding this scenario, at the risk of sounding defeatist about this, men need to do a quick reality assessment of the chances of success.. and try to stay within a field that is more realistic in terms of suggesting success. “Approach those that are closer to you on attractiveness scale… but the key here is to “actually approach them”… …because as it so happens this is the reality right across the line….where highly attractive women may not be approached by males in their “high attractiveness” category either. It’s a big standoff, and as I already suggested, the likelihood of something happening will become a virtual zero…where a more attractive male will also not successfully approach any attractive female at all.. or with only some ineffective fleeting general comments that will not draw the woman out even if she’s interested. I believe that this is the message this female coach is sending…about engagement by any male, and this is backed up by countless women interviewed, who uniformly complain that they are not approached enough. Finally, success numbers on this are affected by that 10-15% of good looking males who also have a combination of “game /high value”… and who are virtually impossible to compete with for a female if that is the one they want. I’m not saying that men must stay in their lane, but then if you don’t, don’t be surprised when your success ratio becomes something you are not pleased with. In the dating pool, there are many people that are not able to play the game at the clearly defined upper levels, but who are then that much more receptive to a friendly approach, and often reciprocate in kind. Finally…be honest! Don’t say: “Hey I’m not hitting on you… except I’m obviously hitting on you”….
No man who the majority of women are attracted to has ever successfully used game. He doesnt have to. the moment that guy introduced himself to a woman, he had her on the hook. Everything after that is just fun flirting.
This was very insightful to watch. I think I sometimes fall for this type of advice that this female dating coach is giving. Right now i am at a point where i am trying to work on myself and what you said about wasting time trying to improve before your active makes alot of sense. I have slowly been thinking about how much effort i am putting into trying to improve myself and how that isn't going to fix everything. There will always be something i can improve but i need to be more active in approaching people and putting myself out there in different situations to truly improve and learn. Hopefully live a more social enjoyable life that ibwant to live for my case.
When almost anyone does these "dating" things, they need vastly more demographic data than they are willing to research. Just something as simple as attempting to attract a Conservative vs. a Liberal makes a tremendous difference currently. As does approaching someone in New York vs. someone in Kentucky. Also college vs. trade school. There is race, morals, culture, etc. all of which impact the reaction someone will have, regardless of all of the more base considerations of attractiveness, income, and attitude. I find it difficult to seriously regard individuals who purport themselves as professionals when they have not done professional assessments and deep, viable research. You did a better job and put more effort and consideration than the other did.
I appreciate your thoroughness and analytical nature. I’m a conventionally attractive white man so perhaps my opinion is irrelevant. The one thing I agree with in the first 14 minutes is this: hot women know that they’re hot. Never compliment her on her looks. If you compliment her on her dress or her lift, she knows you are complimenting her on her looks. Your first interaction should be 60 seconds or less. 1. A compliment not about her looks 2. Tell her your name and shake her hand 3. Ask her if she comes there often 4. Let her know that it would be great to see her around. 5. Walk away If she’s remotely interested in you, she will let you know. The key is taking a genuinely casual tone. Sure, she’s hot, but so what? There are so many hot women. She doesn’t matter, yet.
5:00 Does talking to the 75 year-old big box store greeter or employees count? Does talking to one's own customers and clients count? Does talking to colleagues count? Does talking to female family members count? Does talking over the internet with a woman in your gaming room or non-adult internet call count? I think this woman would be amazed how many women men talk to in an average day/week/month. The issue is women see these men as forgettable as the background furnishings. These women would pay more attention to a dog barking while she exercised outside than the man standing in front of her. What these women really want is an animated princess movie come to life, not the yipping man in the background suddenly attempting to ask her out.
@@pace1195 none of those count. If you’re on the clock there’s a reason you’re talking to her other than her being attractive. It only counts when you go out of your way to start a conversation with a woman you never met during your free time.
I’m an older white dude with high status. I’ll leave it at that. My point is this young man is absolutely on point. Thoughtful, well reasoned, experientially tested, quality advice. It’s consistent with my own successful experience. My mistake was not spotting early and staying away from “crazy” no matter how hot or amazing the sex was. And when I say crazy I mean manipulative, lying, chaotic, and destructive women. But that mistake is long behind me. Today I’m in a fun and supportive monogamous relationship with a stable, responsible, fit younger woman (only 11 years younger - I’m not personally interested in a generation gap) Quality coaching here that also challenges the myths that some coaches, particularly female dating coaches, give men. Women often will not admit to how they actually behave. For example, many if not most women will share their man. At least I personally found that to be so in the over 40 dating market. And I’m not talking about an “open” relationship or swinger relationship. I mean if a man of sufficient status says they aren’t prepared to be monogamous, a woman they are dating will superficially object and say they won’t be in such a relationship, yet most will remain in such a relationship. It’s a don’t ask don’t tell type of situation. They don’t want it in their face but many are willing to compete. Not something most women are willing to openly admit however.
Honestly as a guy who at times has been more attractive than others, just keep shooting your shots. I mean work out and take care of yourself but get in that experience. You will be rejected a thousand times before you make one breakthrough sometimes. That's just reality and you gotta keep trying. I see plenty of hot girls with mediocre guys. Just keep trying.
25:44 definitely this. Also therapy might be useful to understand why you’re not able to take action because sometimes that can come with feelings of insecurity, self doubt etc.
11:41 the problem with eye contact is most people. Platonic or romantic interest. Man or woman...they think I'm staring into their soul and it makes people uncomfortable. Like undivided attention is a bad thing. A lot of conversations I have with anyone, they're more comfortable standing next to each other looking out as opposed to face to face looking at each other
Im a 5'6" chinese guy in the UK and I cold approached a stunning blonde in the gym 20 years younger than me and told her she looked really good. She was actually really grateful and thanked me with a big smile. We need to stop putting women all in one basket. THey are individuals like us men. It all depends on the female and what mood shes in.
You got politely rejected and she got free validation. Kind of proved the point. If you should see her again, assumung she's single, I'd be surprised if you get her number. Not trying to put you down, you seem like a genuine person. What you believe simply isn't true, and won't help you get the results you may want.
You made the right decision, bro. Even with the best of intentions their advice is misleading. I've seen dudes get lost for years by asking women dating advice.
As a woman I have to say that I’m surprised that the approach of “You look interesting, are you?” Is raising guys acceptance rate. Because if I were to be approached that way it would be the same principle as the cold approach. I would have to already be interested to begin with, otherwise it would land on me in a negative way. That’s Amazing though that you have found hacks like that for men. I’m sure it’s really helpful for them and it benefits the women too. I’m not on dating apps any more but I remember whenever I used to be it would surprise me at how many guys and girls that I would meet on. There had basically no personality or substance whatsoever whenever I tried to have a conversation with them. However I would always meet some gems too and I had good experiences on the apps but you have to shift thru like 80% filler to get to someone with some substance to them as a person.
I don't think this approach would work on me either, it's a bit of a low effort convo starter putting it on the woman to actually throw a topic. Or you then have to ask "which bit did you find interesting". Someone picking something specifically interesting like "oh wow, you have been to Carnarvon Gorge as well? It looks like we both love the outdoors" Is way more engaging.
Read the room if you ain't feeling it. Odds are neither is she. Find something to talk about, "Hey, in like your tattoos? Where did you get them? What do they mean?". Lastly, this is the most important part. BE GENUINE!
Before approaching a woman, get 3 IOIs beforehand. Then you can go in with the mindset that you're giving her what she was already asking for non verbally.
I think the only female dating coach I've ever known to help, and she helped me a ton when I was single, was Kezia Noble. But I do have to say, I learned a long time ago you better be absolutely very careful and selective when it comes to taking dating advice from women b/c it's normally complete crap.
Only about 2 out of 10 female dating coach are the real deal where they expose the dark behaviour of women but of course one must do their own research, experience and diligent to improve and see which works and whats the winrate
Yeah Blaine is definitely not the one to talk about women's darker behaviors - at least not that I've heard - tbh i would never even expect a woman to go there I'm surprised that you're saying they're out there
@@AJ0223 I am a woman. I don't talk to or befriend other women anymore. So even if I wanted to warn other men about what they do there's no way that I can do it.
After watching this video I realized that I'm better off single. It's just too much work and too much risk for little reward. I'd rather keep my peace, my hobbies and my friends.
@@HerrenGamingNews you’re a man. It’s your responsibility to pursue a woman you’re interested who’s interested back. You already lost without even trying.
As a married guy, I believe that many men have lost the art of the flirt, which centers on negging. This has to be done carefully and with experience because otherwise it comes across as mean or hurtful. Instead it should come across as edgy and playful.
I am not a huge fan of her content now, but at one point considered using her a couple years ago. Given it’s kind of an investment I did a deep dive into her “product” and who she typically helps. In the end, the problems she is trying to solve weren’t really my problems (which were more of an issue of not putting myself in the right groups to meet quality women and relying too much on apps which were more of a quantity vs quality issue for me). She really focuses on men who often lack some fundamental social skills (many more focused on women than even having a core group of friends first) and are often petrified of talking to women at all but are obsessed with women who they might not even be a good match for (while extreme think of the nerdy theater kid who has a crush on the head cheerleader). I’m not sure you need a dating coach to solve that problem. If anything it’s more of a mindset shift, and realizing that if you are the best version of yourself and you have social skills, a woman will like you or she won’t. Sure there are certain dynamics that one should be aware of in terms of understanding what women generally want, but other than that it’s pretty much being confident in yourself and understanding it’s a bit of a numbers game as long as you aren’t being totally unreasonable with your preferences based on who you are at your core.
A friend of mine in college was too much in his head and trying to think of the perfect thing to say to women. I told him that it isn't what it is said, it is who says it. And that was in 1994 or 1995. In my own opinion, I think that it is best to avoid discussing her looks. James Dobson (look him up) suggested waiting until after the 5th date in a courtship before mentioning a woman's looks, so I would take his advice before any woman's on how to catch a fish, no matter what kind of dating you are doing.
I am a woman. It doesn't bother me if a guy tells me that I'm pretty right from the moment that he meets me but if it's all that he talks about on the date that's were things go downhill.
women also say they want an emotionally available man. wrong. they were hurt by an unavailable man, but they were still attracted for that reason. they just don't like that they got hurt, so they try to pretend they're attracted to the thing they don't want. it never works.
Imo the "stand out with good compliments" is just a gamble. It CAN work but a "generic" compliment can too. It just comes down if she is interested or not. If yes, a generic and outstanding compliment both will work and if not both won't work. Social interaction can't be engineered like that, it is complex. Be yourself, get to know the other person well and let them decide if they like you or not. No fishing required.
Be respectful in comments please. No matter what your opinions are, you can improve your game by listening my new audiobook, The Authentic Attraction Method: highintegrityskills.com/book1b
Good video and fair assesment.
TY!
I'm a regular white guy, trust me we can't just approach girls like her either. This life is easy for the average white dude is bullshit.
what women always leave out: they want those behaviors from guys they’re already attracted to. which doesn’t help 90% of guys.
Yeah, it's also not helpful advice for guys either. I feel all current dating advice is about hypergamy, looks, status and money.
"Ok, I need to become a top 1% guy" but.... how is that helpful? By definition only one in a hundred can get there!!!!
Yes, they speak broadly hoping that 1% of those men that they desire will get the hint and take action, not realizing that those men don't want to go near these type of women
@@ulizez89 easy, strike to BECOME that 1%, jeebus, it's not rocket science, the strive alone will get ya there wit women
@@phabeondominguez5971 By definition, being in that 1% is hard.
I have no issues getting women to go out on a "First" date. It's the SECOND dates and SEX that I NEVER GET
"95% of anything is crazy." Priceless statement considering she isn't referring to 95% of men.
95% of women want to be approached by top 5% men.
@@anisenkrill6179 women don’t even see 95% of men. Those guys are invisible to them.
Women literally see a "study" that confirms their ideas and dont even consider trying to disprove it. They just run with it.
I mean, I'm pretty confident saying 95% of blaines advice is bad
@@sole__doubt Men do the same. It's weak/bad people.
I'm certainly no expert on women, but the 20 or so years of experience I have with them has taught me one thing. It all comes down to attraction.
They're either into you or they're not. It's that simple.
Sure there are probably some things you can do to make a woman more attracted to you, but there's not much you can do to screw it up if they already are.
A guy she's attracted to who comes up and says nothing has a better chance than the guy she's not attracted to who says all the right things.
This should be common sense, but we all know how common that is...
If I was to make a video on Attraction this would be it… if she’s attracted to you she will make it easy as possible to approach her and talk to her! Obviously you can still mess it up, but she will give you multiple signs to approach her over months … Even if she’s with someone else ! 👍🏾💯
And they make up their mind in an instant of seeing you.
From the moment boys are born they are feed the lie that all you have to do is just be nice. Attraction doesn’t work that way. Attraction can’t be negotiated, it can’t be purchased. It doesn’t matter how much you simp over a woman, it’s not going to make her attracted to you, if you look like a slob. Looks are everything. You would be amazed at what women will let guys get away with, when they are attracted to them. You can be a serial killer and women will make excuses for you when you’re attractive. That’s way the first thing any guy should do that is struggling with women, is fix your appearance.
@@JohnPickup-CDHS-ze6qd I have to disagree. I've personally screwed up with women that were attracted to me, and seen it happen to a few other guys. I was too generous with the compliments, my gifts, and my time, and they would get cold.
I also have to disagree. When women don't know you, they are attracted to a fantasy they create of you. It's pretty easy to talk too much on a first date. You need to very slowly introduce them to the real you, otherwise, abruptly shattering their fantasy can break the initial attraction.
Luckily, it's easy to let them do 80% of the talking on the first few dates.
My sister told me i should give gifts to women on first dates cuz “its cute that she remembers she got that gift on a first date”.
After i asked her if she ended up in a relationship with any guy that gave her a gift, she said no. When i asked her if a guy giving her a gift raised her attraction toward him she said no
Yea, terrible advice. I took advice from my college roommates gf with a girl I liked and it completely backfired hard.
Diabolical advice lol
And did she ever have sex with or end up in a LTR with a guy who gave her a gift?
No.
Make it make sense
she was trying to make a womanservant from you. They all do that. They all trying to betatization approach on men coz that's how they get leverage in relationships.
The amount of mental and emotional energy guys have to put into this vs girls who do nothing. It is so one sided.
Same goes for keeping them once you get them, and the bedroom. We’re lit trolly expected to do everything to keep a relationship “fresh, and fun”.
It's nature. There's a nice documentary about bower birds
@@intjmikepearson1350 false, these are cultural expectations not part of our innate nature.
Agreed, but women spin their energy in unproductive speculation and over-thinking. It’s like the woman who’s angry with her man because she had a dream of him cheating. She will hold that against him to the point of breaking up. Women are submarines to their ship of happiness.
@@honkhonk1555 I've never seen literally spelled like that
Women only give advice to guys they are already attracted to 😂
This comment.
Yep thats why they say stuff like " just be yourself."
🤣facts!
@@sole__doubt Women that say this actually it makes sense. A lot of men try to be the funny guy or the cool guy and act fake and women detect that they are trying to put all these unauthentic tricks to 'win' them over. When in reality being confident in yourself and carrying normal conversation and flirting and planning the date is the correct way. Aka being authentic is what women mean.
@@arthurcallahan4735 "Aka being authentic is what women mean."
Ok fair enough but they are leaving out the most important part in that if they dont find you attractive, none of that matters.
women want this, women want that, women want, women........want want want. Have you noticed the amount of mens improvement videos, and how men should cater to women ? Yet there are never any videos on how women should treat a man or better themselves ?. Only for what they should expect from men.
@stuwilldoo7035 I get frustrated with this too. Generally, men and western society as a whole tends to have lesser standards and expectations for women.
That's because women hold all the leverage in the courtship process. Of course they're going to hold that over us to get as much as they can. If it were the other way around, we would do the same.
haha shit, i was going to comment the same thing...yeah i dont really care about all these dating "coaches" who have recylced others reframed and what not, either shes with it, or not.
I`m not going to jump through all these "Wants", when she knows what i want, then i´ll talk with her...
Stop catering to females!
cake and eat it too apparently
@stuwilldoo7035 Women control the sex, it's the world we live in. It's frustrating for modern men in the 21st century.
Most female dating coaches provide idealistic, surface-level advice without any attempt to delve even slightly more deeply, and useful only to those who don't even need it.
EXACTLY
Their advice is tailored to their demographic, simps. Dating coaches make money off long term clients who keep failing. Simps want female dating coaches because female coaches will tell them exactly what they want to hear. Be soft, be nice.
Male dating coaches..."You are fat AF. Eat this diet. 1 hour of cardio everyday, weights every other day."
Most female dating coaches have zero idea what attracts a man because they think emotionally. Men are logical creatures, and being logical and trying to be appealing to emotional is a mine field men have to cross, and there are far more mines than safe spaces to step.
This is a clear difference between men and women. Men are deep thinkers. Women are emotional reactors.
what she said it's true, but takes some effort to become "attractive" - but you are looking for "tricks of the game" and how to "sell" yourself. when the "product" is great, there's very little to no "selling" required.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions and piece of advice women give to guys about dating is “make her laugh”. I don’t know how many people I have seen say “if you can make her laugh, she yours”, but they never mention the most important part. She wants the guy she’s already attracted to make her laugh, not the invisible average guys. If she’s not attracted to you but you can make her laugh hysterically, congratulations, you’ve just bought a first class ticket to the Friendzone as her own private jester. However, I will admit that if she’s already attracted to the guy and that guy makes her laugh hysterically, he does indeed have her. All this is to say that the advice women give very much needs to caveat of “she wants the guy she is already attracted to to have *insert quality*, not the average guy at Walmart”. Keep up the great work!
Misunderstanding of the rule. The point is that if she likes you she will laugh at pretty much anything you say.
So the purpose is not to make her laugh, but to use her laughing or not laughing as a gauge of whether she likes you.
@@MachoMaster This 100%. Dont try to be funny... and if she is laughing and being pleasant she wants you
@@garrett2988able this is on point. Even if the guy is not that funny but she is attracted to him, she’ll find him hilarious
Retired coach here - Good call man, I've thought this about the content for a very long time.
Most female dating content. 95% of female advice.
The „hmm“ of Chris williamson in the middle of the Video says everything about what he thinks about her advice
It's a lot like a fish trying to give advice about fishing techniques and recommending to just toss the bait into the water with no idea how the hook, line and rod work lol
THERES A LOT OF FISH TRYNA GIVE ADVICE ABOUT FISHING TECHNIQUES YOO THATS A BAR! Someone need to tattoo that somewhere 😭
@@prism223 fishing is less stressful don't take that from me
@@isaaacc1 fishing is perfection if you don't care about the results
@@prism223 There are women on RUclips that love fishing. Some of them are pretty humble models who’d rather be van life’ing it or fishing. Just tossing that out there if you wondered if some women can catch a fish, figure out what they’re eating and use the appropriate fly they tied. Your dream girl, the fishing model. 😂
@@Varonno lmao
The most important insight is actually that people don’t typically behave the way they tell you they will behave in a given situation so surveying like this is nearly pointless.
The more I listen to women talking about what things they expect in a man, the less interested I am in dating women.
Yep, their expectation lists for us are pretty long. Especially when all I ask for is love, support, respect and loyalty in a long-term relationship. All of which go hand-in-hand, but the last one seems to be the hardest one for them to accept. There are far too many other penis varieties out there for them to enjoy, rather than settling for just one.
Then date men
@@monicad7222apparently it’s not only female dating coaches who give men bad advice !
i know love is important. But trying to find it via getting good at 'dating' is like trying to find polar bears in the sahaara. Wrong place, wrong task. Love is about friendships and self acceptance. This is a game of being comfortable with who you are not on convincing everyone you are worth their time. When was the last time you made a friend because you took friendship making advice courses where you said all the right things and had all the body language to convince them you are worth their time. You didn't. People over value good looks and under value being unique and we find ourselves trying to play the wrong game because the wrong game is what everyone cares about in their youth. No old person at the end of their life is thinking about anything other than the value of friendship with their partner. thats real love.
@zkdontplay As a man you are way less likely to find love with a woman you are attracted to if you cannot attract women on a regular basis and are already selected or pre selected as we say. Dating is extremely darwinian, especially female attraction for men.
@@zkdontplay Honestly you spitting facts
Fr.
You gotta have an understanding of what you want out of dating. Is it worth it to get the girl if you have to disown yourself in the process of making yourself more attractive?
This point is same conclusion I made after consuming dating and red pill content for over 4 years. It has become the factory that makes young men into robots and deny our uniqueness. Men can do more to improve themselves in all spheres of life but have to ensure that they keep the core of their uniqueness.
I could not disagree with you more. Romantic love does not start with friendship in 99.9% of cases, it starts with attraction (which is both physical and emotional). Dating is about that kind of attraction - friendship is not. I wasted years of my life stuck in the friend zone w girls I wanted a romantic relationship with.
Dating is also a market and it aligns with market forces of supply, demand, and perceived costs and value. If you just want friends then none of that applies.
I don't want the above to give the impression that I failed: I lived in New York and dated and slept with models and other 9s and 10s. I got that out of my system after I changed myself to not get friendzoned. Now I'm at the age where I do cherish my friends for life, but I'm also happily single and have zero time or patience for any games. If it happens it happens, but rule number one is learn how to be self-sufficient and happy with yourself without needing anyone.
These insights are on point. I spent over a decade figuring out attraction as a short Chinese guy in Toronto. Tried a lot of different things to increase my success in dating. Learned the most when I got a job at a night club; seeing how social proof, an abundance mindset, tons of exposure to lots of women on a regular basis sets a solid foundation for what works. On the flip side, leading with money, over complimenting and chasing dries ladies right up. Thanks.
Hey I'm in toronto and afraid of toronto girls lol, any advice? I don't do night clubs and my friends are all getting married so i can't go out with them to meet people. I want to approach myself but idk something about toronto girls kinda scare me like they would respond with a no embarrassingly loud
@@rjgn4054 without knowing more about your situation, I would start by taking a look at myself first to optimise your chances. There's a lot to unpack there; you need to consider appearance, body language, speech, confidence, etc. Be the best version of yourself possible. Then be aware of the woman and the environmental context you are encountering her.
On line dating is a no-go for the vast majority of men, and cold approach is possible, but very difficult unless the conditions are right and you really stand it in a positive way. Meeting people through other people works well, as in it pre-qualifies you as not being a creep. Meeting through activities, classes, or work gives you an organic reason to engage in conversation.
There are countless sources of wisdom on RUclips that tackle various aspects well. This channel seems to be sensitive to our unique situation pretty well.
I found in my experience that Asian women are most receptive racially to Asian men. I've had luck with other erhnicies, but the ratio isn't even close.
I'm going to recommend "OrionTaraban" for psychology, "Austin Summers" for cold approach, "Charisma on Command" for social skills, and "Michael Sartain" on insights into how a lot of women think.
Full disclosure, I've been married for since 2010, and still very much love my wife. I'm still fascinated with attraction and relationships, that's why I still love this type of content.
Good luck, brother.
@@angryrn toronto is a terrible city to date if ur a short chinese guy.
If you're tall and attractive it's hard to fail.
@@angryrn toronto is a terrible city to date if ur short and Asian
It's getting old but "never ask the fish" and this is the reason. Women really don't understand what they are talking about most of the time. Women coaches just pray on unacknowledged weak men.
@@WealthWeaves Steve Jobs basically said you have to tell people what they want. This is why Apple is so feverishly successful, at least during the iPod and iPhone eras
Man soooooo happy to see this response. I watched this interview and it was painful. 👏👏👏
Excellent breakdown dude. It's good to know that you're giving constructive criticism...recognizing the good and bad in her advice, rather than most people who would tear it down and berate her, this is the way 👏
@@Snooploops97 I think Blaine’s coming from a good place, but is on the wrong track and the wrong train
Yes, NEVER tell a woman she is beautiful. This comes off as weak and unimaginative.
I have always commented that she “looked interesting”. This often elicits a question or conversation in response.
Only if you're unattractive.
If you're attractive, a good and specific compliment goes a long way and is the best standard opener.
@ Mali, the problem with that is women only find 5% of men attractive. Women also believe 80% of men are ugly or creepy.
@@Malibluu Pick something in her outfit. Works like a charm.
you cant give a away the information, that you want her, even without knowing a single thing about who she is . I think that is a big killer of attraction. She needs to know that you are the kind of guy, who is willing to walk off if you dont like how she behaves.
Every woman has a billion simps telling her she’s beautiful.
“95% Wished they were approached more”, maybe. Just for pure validation because even the ones they’re not attracted to (the majority of them), they still get a kick out of shooting him down, then posting a video criticising men for approaching her when she wasn’t interested.
I’ve actually gotten a lot of dates in the past by saying exactly that “hi, my name is Chris and I thought you were pretty and I just wanted to say hello. How are you?” Convo ensued and usually got their number. Whatever you do be sincere
So you're at least an 8.
@@BWater-yq3jx Prolly a 5
@@BWater-yq3jx 🤣
I have the same experience
Limiting belief. Women value confidence.
ya, men have to do all the learning, trial and error, in order to know how to date, how to meet and attract someone, reminds of a comment discussion i saw going on instagram and i agree with it, it went like this:
"why aren't there accounts like these for girls? it seems guys have to do all the learning" and a guy said "women just exist and dudes line up for her"
and it continued:
"women don't have to learn game, let alone almost do anything to get guys. They just go out, be there, just be there, look pretty and get attention, options for just existing. Unfortuneately, we as guys have to learn this crap to get women into our lives. Getting girls is a skill that has to be practiced repeatedly"
i thought that summed it up perfectly, ya for guys, men, getting women is a skill, but for women, getting guys is not a skill, but not the other way around, never was a fan of how reality has to be this way, oh well, it will never change sadly.
That is decidedly NOT true. You won't see all the dating and relationship coaches for women if you don't seek them out. That's how the algorithm works. I see coaches geared towards men and women because I seek them both out and the algorithm knows that.
What if they're not pretty?
@dahliaherrod4301 Difference is, y'all don't need coaches to attract a man. It really isn't difficult at all, y'all just want the SAME DUDES.
@dahliaherrod4301 Most of you just compete for the same men. Most guys are just trying to get get adequate dating experience.
@@cheezedoodlenygguh6229 it honestly depends on the goal of the woman. You're right about women having no difficulty attracting a man, IF she's reasonably attractive and looking for something casual. But if she desires marriage that narrows the dating pool quite a bit. If the woman is like me, someone who is religious and wants a conservative religious man, that narrows it even further. You're assuming that every eligible woman wants the same thing as a man and that's a bad mistake to make
Bro that “you look interesting are you” line is 🔥 fire bro. It breaks her down and gives her the chance to show you that she is.
I wouldn’t stress over it fellas, if the opportunity is there make the approach and see if she’s interested, if not no biggie. Focus on being the best version of yourself and being successful, cuz if you are women will be automatically drawn to you. If you’re broke and not putting in the work she’ll eventually leave you for someone better anyway.
What about all of us "middle of the road"-guys who put in enough work to not be fat and to be able to live comfortably with some left over each month? Your advice is to "hustle" or she's gonna leave first chance? No thanks. I'd rather stay single, stress free and happy then.
If women can't see what a good and stable life they could built with me, that's their loss.
@@JC-Finance yeah, this, again, is useful to guys who “get it.” With dwindling presentations of constructively masculine men in media and society (the Homer Simpsons and Peter Griffins are much more common), and dating coaching at large being labeled hateful (unless, of course, it’s purveyed with ambiguous, can’t-be-construed-as-offensive, functionally unhelpful language… by one specific gender), a very microscopic minority of men just naturally “get it.” So your advice isn’t as useful as you might hope. Most guys don’t even know the structure of the game, let alone the things to do to play, let alone the things to do to win.
Ignore all dating coaches, what they recommend is at best going to end with being rudely rejected, and at worst an SA claim or in handcuffs.
This is probably the most real and honest video, I don't really watch these videos but i subscribed.
Respectfully, it's hilarious how cute and naive her advice is. Love how you articulate everything. Thanks man
Pretty solid video with some good critiques. That said, I'd add that most good therapists wouldn't want you to go in circles not getting out there & taking action if you come in with a goal of working on your dating life. They'll at the very least work with you on identifying what skills/tools you need or hangups you need to break down to start getting out there.
You can tell, by the way she answers the questions, that she doesn't care if it works or not
I’ve done this multiple times when approaching women. It has worked out great. Has led me into dates and even my present relationship.
Literally, saw a women in park who I thought was attractive no introduced myself and started a conversation with her.
This for me has led to many conversations with beautiful women, which have led to dates, and then to a relationship.
Cannot be scared to go out and try talking to a woman who you think is beautiful. This also helps you in your day to day life and your career.
Its refreshing to hear some deeper advice.
I used to go up to women and be like that. Try to find something interesting about them.
But I found what works for me is declaring my interest by telling them i am attracted to them. In other words, using words like beautiful or gorgeous.
I do see, my direct approach (direct game) is limited.
Because you would want to find something deeper than that.
But what I think is that if I am trying to find something deeper in every woman I am attracted to, then I feel like what I would be saying to them isnt honest. At least when I tell a woman she is beautiful , im being truthful. I feel like i am being genuine. To find something interesting about them right away on the fly, is too much of a stretch. I dont know her well enough. I can only go from her looks. that's the only thing I can respond to.
People will say, "Just approach more IRL." But they seem to forget that these women will still be on IG and apps regardless.
I mean, you can definitely make a better first impression in person. But her online pipeline doesn't suddenly dry up either.
I'm offended that the male interviewer didnt call out her blatant BS.
@@FlamingManofIron
Hmm your missing what he is saying, it's not BS, rather a lot of what she says in narrow. She is basing what she is saying on her cliente and personal experience(social curcle), which doesn't apply to everyone.
This guy is giving great complementary advice.
Spot on with the body language clusters (women looking away can be good sign) and only smiling for the first 2-3 seconds. Not only does the smile come across fake, it’s also just creepy.
Asking a woman for dating advice is like a hunter asking a deer for hunting strategies.
Your closing statement perfectly describes game, never had someone break it it down with such clarity and authenticity. Keep up the good work. Also, I just got your book.
I was doing pick up all through my 20s until I met my wife in field. I used direct openers like this lady recommends. A Direct open will almost always be a positive interaction. She won’t want to date, but for beginners its good to learn girls aren’t just going to destroy you when you approach. You will need to practice a lot more of the interaction AFTER the opening line, but there is nothing wrong with the lines and they are easier to learn than other forms of pick up that make men have to buy not so great books.
What men fail to understand is that good advice used in the wrong context is bad advice. If you focus on becoming situationally aware, better at reading people and picking up on cues, LISTENING to the person you're talking to and show genuine interest in who they are, and not what you can get out of them, you will be immensely more successful. Provide value and show vulnerability with the person you are talking to, and you may get the same in return. If you don't, it wasn't a good match. Move on.
If you are not happy and secure with yourself, it will come out in your social interactions and it will drive people away. You should be inviting someone on your journey, not forcing your way into theirs.
Thank you So MUCH for this reaction video. I love Chris, and so I was fooled by this chick!
this chick is one of the worst guest in chris's podcast, imo
Thank you very much for the advice around the ten minute mark, I’ve finished week 2 pick-up journey and so far approached around 100 women, around 80 started with those generic compliments, the other 20 received generic compliments three sentences into the conversation. All ended in rejection.
In my case it’s not only that but slowly I’m learning where to improve.
It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been able to pick up women. Haven’t had much of an interest in almost anybody. I personally think I’m far better looking now and higher value than I used to be. But when my game was strong, I didn’t compare myself much to the giga chads. I knew I was average. I was comfortable with that and happy in my own skin. Something tells me that was part of the reason I was more successful.
My go to conversation starters at supermarkets is either “I like your nails, what color is that?”(they paid to get their nails done). My second opener is “I like your shoes”, she put thought into her outfit. Neither one of these is a “pickup line”.
These are honestly really lovely to hear, for the reason it's not just about our looks and if you find us hot or not. Frankly, if a guy is approaching us we already know the attraction is there. When you compliment our tastes, or something we have taken time on it means a lot more to us. You have taken the time to notice the small things about us, for us this actually instantly tells us a lot about YOU. That you are attentive, thoughtful, respectful, and perhaps even have an interest in fashion we could talk about. Nice work! We love being told we are stylish, as opposed to sexy 🙆♀️
Zero shot! You would get the “ewww get away from me”
Either all the guys here are liars or you are hitting on some girls who weigh over 2 bills!
I love how everyone trying to be clever with the fish catching fish analogy, Patrice O’Neal said this stuff 15 years ago
They repeat the same trite phrases. It feels like they're trying to prove to each other that they know what's up.
“At night, you should disable your security alarm and unlock your front door. It is also great practice to put all of your valuables in one location only, preferably in an easily accessible area. Make sure that you write down on a notepad where you put your valuables and place the note on the kitchen table.” - Robber coaching a home owner.
That simple approach advice could work well in a country club setting where girls are looking for guys of their same or above social level. Girls would look past the fact it is a generic and cheesy line under the right circumstances as you said.
Haha so awesome to hear this comment at about 30:30 about infield footage. I agree. Some of those Coaches (RSD wink wink) went a bit over board with crazyness and marketing, but it was definitely a wild and fun time, excitement was in the air and a thirst for new adventures. That has changed with the restrictive, authoritarian energy of recent, and I could be wrong - but I really feel like it takes more active energy to cultivate a free and fun attitude and that exact mindset than it did ^^
I've got an idea for a pick-up line in public. When approaching a woman, pointe at any other random woman and say, my sister tells me you are too hot not to talk to," because women care more about what other women think than they care about what men think. Men make the mistake of thinking women are looking for their admiration, when in fact they want other women's admiration. Guys have no idea how hard their facade is to create, so compliments from women, who do understand the effort of building a facade, have far more impact.
Please don't, that's such a bad idea!
Why are you lying for no reason though? Kind of a bad place to start, unless it’s meant as a joke.
Please don’t use this. It is unnatural and may come off as disturbing
@bigheadrhino the lie is not for no reason, unless you make it a habit of never going out in public without a chick, it's to break the ice with them on an emotional high, because they literally care more about what other women think than what men think. You could say, don't look now but that chick over there was checking you out hard. Is that better for you? It's not even a lie, because if she's hot you know the other chick was checking her out. They dress up for each other not for us.
@@helmeteye what a load of carp
Increase your social status, improve your personality, humor, communication skills, know how to have fun, behave like an adult, have strong values, don't be impressed just by looks, have a good lifestyle & home - and 90% of the work is done. After that put yourself in social settings where the women you like are, have slow, relaxed interactions and you'll attract women and have choices.
If you are looking for a relationship and you are trying to make a woman date you or like you, you have already lost. Even if you somehow manage it, you'll have the wrong relationship dynamic forever, where you'll have to always prove yourself somehow. The only thing you should focus on - is to make sure they will like who you are - and you won't need to "sell" yourself. What you have to do after that is just to initiate the interaction like any other regular social interaction-be normal-and it will escalate from there if there's attraction.
In cultures outside America, the girl is not expecting the potential mate to smile. Confident is good, but smiling causes confusion on the female.
You my friend , are extending true insights … females state things - that are socially acceptable. And frequently act different when no one is watching
Ty. I appreciated your take !
Title 100% on point like asking mom how you look n get girls hahah
I’m considered conventionally attractive by most metrics…very tall and very built. I’ve still gotten negative responses from “hey I just noticed you from over there” and “I thought you were really attractive”. She’ll tend to keep the conversation flowing but will definitely resent me for it.
This chick said she couldn't help me; literally won't take my hard earned dollars as I told her I have mental illnesses. She was very nice about it and I thanked her for her opinion that I needed to work on myself first before dating. I've been divorced and single for 10 years; I've raised my children, they are in college now or graduated college. I want and need Love. Don't I deserve love? She doesn't think I'm ready for love. I am. I NEED love. I am so LONELY. But she is ok with me staying lonely because I have a mental illness. Ok, I see her point. But I still need love and I think love will help my mental illness. I wfh, I see noone. I have friends but I live alone and I am alone a lot. I Just Want A Partner! I Do Not Want to Die Alone. Does she understand that or care? Probably not but that's ok. She is an ok person. I think. I am just lonely and alone and she doesn't need to care. Thanks for reading. All the Best for All of Us Single People out here that lonely and alone. TY! - Lou
For clarification: I am on the apps, I'm in Los Angeles, and I have no problems whatsoever gettting matches and women to go on a first date with me. It's the getting a SECOND date, or SEX, that I do not get. I've been on so many of these dates, and they are always a f'n INTERVIeW. IT"S SO FRUSTRATING. UGH! I am apparently an egomaniac and I'm not interested enough in them. Ok, Fair. Most women are not interesting.... I am very interesting and can talk for hours about anything....
I don't know if you deserve love, or not.
But compiling a list of reasons why you think you do, might be a good exercise.
Love MAY help with your mental illness, but it is not someone else's job to fix you.
Further, women primarily care about themselves, so in this relationship equation
there needs to be a lot more in it for her than you.
Just from your comment I can tell you that you need to keep working on yourself. Having needy energy isn’t going to get you anywhere.
@@InnerbloomRecords agreed and I've acceded that I just am who I am and maybe someone will like that; I think that is possible so I'm not giving up hope. Life is Good! Thanks!
I miss the days when we weren’t influenced by media on how we should be dating. We just went with it. We are so consumed with what is that right way or wrong way.
We are constantly being told how to be or how to act. We know too much about so many wants and needs that belong to millions of different people, we are getting confused.
Every man is different, he also has different needs/wants/standards/preferences to the next guy.
Same for women.
As long as both sides can accept a ‘No’ and respectful and take it with grace, we are good. Same when you reject someone, be kind.
In my 20s, if I saw a man I was attracted to, I’d wait until the end of the night and tell him he’d dropped a napkin, and it would have my number. Reason I’d wait until the end is so I wasn’t interrupting their night with friends & I had a quick getaway , but also I’m quite shy. lol.
If I heard, great. If I didn’t. I got my answer.
@NadiaInMotion Men didn't cause this. Y'all did. Men are just tryna get by while y'all sit back and criticize everything we do.
@NadiaInMotion It's not the same thing. Y'all want roughly the same guys while Men are more varied in their preferences. Dating age men are more likely to be alone for this reason.
This is my first time seeing one of your videos. I really appreciate your intuition and thoughtfulness in how you are reviewing this advice! Thank you for doing your diligence in "understanding the struggle"! (personally, my struggle has reached the the point of giving up and maintaining hope for other men to have success :) )
Kind of curious how many harassment claims and restraining orders or times the cops get called when a regular guy who is not her type or isn't a 6 foot or taller, 6 pack abs and 6 figure income takes her advice
That only happens if she said no and you continue to pursue….
@@kayligo While I agree with you in some cases, and if the woman tell you to not hit on them and the guy continues then that can be harassment. and that does happen a lot. However, it absolutely does happen and with the decades of women and feminists yelling at men to stop. Why would we want to do what she suggests and risk it, even if is a small percentage relatively.
@ fair enough.
I don’t have an issue with her advice about keeping things simple. Too many guys overcomplicate the approach. That said, I have often gotten positive responses from women and have even been approached on several occasions. I listened to this podcast of her and what I found frustrating was her dismissal of the significance of rejection. Yes it happens to all of us, but it clearly shows how little she understands the male perspective.
yeah, its hard for her and other women coaches to understand the rejection process and how to process those emotions that men experience.
Says Based Gym Chad lol if you're a chad, of course a simple approach works!!! 😂
@jaguar1383 there's been periods of my life when I was a scrawny kid, periods when I was a bit overweight, and periods when I'm walking around at 10-15% bodyfat. There's a vast difference in how women treated me in each of these different stages. Some of the guys I see complain put zero effort into their body, their clothes, their hair, or their money.
As you pointed out towards the end of the video, there are different levels to the advice given. Dating is definitely a skill.
I'm okay at dating, but I believe it's because I don't really practice enough to become good at it.
My question to you is: At what point do I justify giving up effort in one aspect of my life to put some effort into dating to find my wife?
Relax guys, don´t think about it too much. Be yourself. Get rid of the thought that you could lose something when you approach a woman. There are sooo many women on this planet. If it is not this one, then it´s the next one. Just treat them like you don´t need them because guess what: you don´t need them. You get rejected? Her miss and she will never know what she´s missing.
As a single 5'5 guy im invisible to 95% of women...
As a sub 5 guy who’s 5’11 I’m invisible to 99%
5'1 guy, I havnt had that much of an issue with woman, its hard at times because they will look at you with disgust but they are not all like that, the best thing I ever did for myself was work out, after 3 years I was in very good shape and I attracted a lot of attention from females, its not easy but that helped a lot
Same
Wait for her to look over, have it in your backmind if you sense or see that shes looking just look back and give her a smile. If she responds cool greet her. If she greets you back, cool go on and tell her what you think maybe you like her smile. Maybe you dont like her smile but her voice is sweet or she just said it the right way. Build on that. After that you can introduce yourself and tell her what you want from her.
Bro I saw that video and I laughed too. Thanks for making this.
Even pretty boy Chris was giving her the side eye.
I just stumbled across this video. As a white guy who is pretty well off but doesn't have much of a social life, you brought up some very good points. The art of turning a "no" into a "yes" seems useful, but it honestly feels like walking on ice: you never know if it's going to break.
I've met women who have said, "I wasn't attracted to my husband at first, but he eventually won me over." Out of those who said that, I believe one is still married to the same guy. The others have divorced.
My personal desire is to find a girl who already wants me, who I don't have to "convince". Now hear me when I say this: I know it is important as a man to keep improving so you can be in a better position throughout your life (especially with regard to women). But there seems to be a line somewhere in which you stop improving and start "trying to please." Which doesn't end well. I'm sure you talk about this in your book or other videos.
Bottom line: Self improvement as a man is necessary, but any woman you have to perform for won't be worth it in the long run.
The game by Neil Strauss was something I believed in. However, dating apps and social media wasn't as big as it is today.
They want to be approached more because they get a confidence boost by rejecting average guys. This women can't understand that what women tell her and what they actually respond to are completely different.
Basically women give advice for guys they already have high interest in, but guy coaches try to figure out how to manipulate to make her more interested.
Confidence is the biggest active attractor
It's like women forget that in order for the things they tell us to do to work only work if you're the guy they want coming up to them. And the funny part about this is you can go to a girl who wants you to come up to her and sad or do basically anything.
Hi Blaine. Nice to meet another Blaine. 🤣
On a real note, don't be nice. Be you, unapologetically. Faking anything makes you worthless. Take it from someone who has been through it.
Great video! I have a bit of reflection for the Christian brothers out there, since there is another level of limitations and structure with for us, makes things more challenging. The good thing is that the racial dynamic that the presenter talks about is not such a big barrier for theological reasons, and most Christian girls I've met never let this become a factor (maybe I'm biased due to my ethnicity, to be fair). But the bigger impediment is that we are very very likely to end up in a friend-zone; more so than non-Christians.
Christian ladies are the same as the secular counterpart, just one more essential condition, and much more likely to friend-zone you due to the misalignment between the secular dating culture that they grew up, and the concept of Christian courtship which they have never seen.
This is why Christian girls go for non-believers and try to change them into believers; which is a complete waste of time. After that relationship fails, their emotional baggage leads them to try to establish common faith when they meet you before moving towards romance. But, once you have established common faith and emotional vulnerability, they default to seeing you as, not just a guy in the friend-zone, but the brother-in-Christ-zone.
If by chance, they pursue you, they default to the worldly pattern of attachment by infatuation first. In short, lack of good council from older women and unrealistic expectations with an inability to trust good council when it comes. Girls compete with one another, but men compete for them.
This means they will always prefer male friends without being willing to believe their intentions are romantic. And due to the paucity of healthy emotionally grounded relationships and leadership in the society of women, they never want to let a platonic relationship go that gives them what they lack; at least until they have a fear of losing it.
What may be being missed in this discussion is that “even guys who are objectively good looking will much too often not approach a woman even when the setting is close to ideal.” We are likely forgetting that even good looking guys may be too shy and reluctant to place themselves in a position to be turned down. Some guys, despite their looks, don’t have “game” and these are partially the ones this coach is speaking to. “Remember that if the guy does not approach even if he is found to be attractive, chances are probably close to a 100% that nothing will happen.” Even if on the attractiveness scale, he and his target are on par at let’s say 8 or 9.
The secondary issue perhaps being missed here is that this female coaches piece may be interpreted as an implicit encouragement for men in general, to approach any woman. By this, I mean, it may be assumed that she is suggesting that even moderately attractive males 5-6 on the scale, to approach any women, objectively in the 7-9 category.
This will generally not work unless the man can display some kind of an unusual show of perceived enhanced value…such as high socioeconomic status…or other qualities that the woman may appreciate disproportionately.
Notwithstanding this scenario, at the risk of sounding defeatist about this, men need to do a quick reality assessment of the chances of success.. and try to stay within a field that is more realistic in terms of suggesting success. “Approach those that are closer to you on attractiveness scale… but the key here is to “actually approach them”…
…because as it so happens this is the reality right across the line….where highly attractive women may not be approached by males in their “high attractiveness” category either.
It’s a big standoff, and as I already suggested, the likelihood of something happening will become a virtual zero…where a more attractive male will also not successfully approach any attractive female at all.. or with only some ineffective fleeting general comments that will not draw the woman out even if she’s interested.
I believe that this is the message this female coach is sending…about engagement by any male, and this is backed up by countless women interviewed, who uniformly complain that they are not approached enough. Finally, success numbers on this are affected by that 10-15% of good looking males who also have a combination of “game /high value”… and who are virtually impossible to compete with for a female if that is the one they want.
I’m not saying that men must stay in their lane, but then if you don’t, don’t be surprised when your success ratio becomes something you are not pleased with. In the dating pool, there are many people that are not able to play the game at the clearly defined upper levels, but who are then that much more receptive to a friendly approach, and often reciprocate in kind.
Finally…be honest! Don’t say: “Hey I’m not hitting on you… except I’m obviously hitting on you”….
No man who the majority of women are attracted to has ever successfully used game. He doesnt have to. the moment that guy introduced himself to a woman, he had her on the hook. Everything after that is just fun flirting.
This was very insightful to watch. I think I sometimes fall for this type of advice that this female dating coach is giving. Right now i am at a point where i am trying to work on myself and what you said about wasting time trying to improve before your active makes alot of sense. I have slowly been thinking about how much effort i am putting into trying to improve myself and how that isn't going to fix everything. There will always be something i can improve but i need to be more active in approaching people and putting myself out there in different situations to truly improve and learn. Hopefully live a more social enjoyable life that ibwant to live for my case.
When almost anyone does these "dating" things, they need vastly more demographic data than they are willing to research. Just something as simple as attempting to attract a Conservative vs. a Liberal makes a tremendous difference currently. As does approaching someone in New York vs. someone in Kentucky. Also college vs. trade school. There is race, morals, culture, etc. all of which impact the reaction someone will have, regardless of all of the more base considerations of attractiveness, income, and attitude.
I find it difficult to seriously regard individuals who purport themselves as professionals when they have not done professional assessments and deep, viable research.
You did a better job and put more effort and consideration than the other did.
I appreciate your thoroughness and analytical nature.
I’m a conventionally attractive white man so perhaps my opinion is irrelevant.
The one thing I agree with in the first 14 minutes is this: hot women know that they’re hot.
Never compliment her on her looks. If you compliment her on her dress or her lift, she knows you are complimenting her on her looks.
Your first interaction should be 60 seconds or less.
1. A compliment not about her looks
2. Tell her your name and shake her hand
3. Ask her if she comes there often
4. Let her know that it would be great to see her around.
5. Walk away
If she’s remotely interested in you, she will let you know.
The key is taking a genuinely casual tone. Sure, she’s hot, but so what? There are so many hot women. She doesn’t matter, yet.
5:00 Does talking to the 75 year-old big box store greeter or employees count? Does talking to one's own customers and clients count? Does talking to colleagues count? Does talking to female family members count? Does talking over the internet with a woman in your gaming room or non-adult internet call count?
I think this woman would be amazed how many women men talk to in an average day/week/month. The issue is women see these men as forgettable as the background furnishings. These women would pay more attention to a dog barking while she exercised outside than the man standing in front of her.
What these women really want is an animated princess movie come to life, not the yipping man in the background suddenly attempting to ask her out.
@@pace1195 none of those count. If you’re on the clock there’s a reason you’re talking to her other than her being attractive.
It only counts when you go out of your way to start a conversation with a woman you never met during your free time.
I’m an older white dude with high status. I’ll leave it at that. My point is this young man is absolutely on point. Thoughtful, well reasoned, experientially tested, quality advice.
It’s consistent with my own successful experience. My mistake was not spotting early and staying away from “crazy” no matter how hot or amazing the sex was. And when I say crazy I mean manipulative, lying, chaotic, and destructive women. But that mistake is long behind me.
Today I’m in a fun and supportive monogamous relationship with a stable, responsible, fit younger woman (only 11 years younger - I’m not personally interested in a generation gap)
Quality coaching here that also challenges the myths that some coaches, particularly female dating coaches, give men.
Women often will not admit to how they actually behave. For example, many if not most women will share their man. At least I personally found that to be so in the over 40 dating market. And I’m not talking about an “open” relationship or swinger relationship. I mean if a man of sufficient status says they aren’t prepared to be monogamous, a woman they are dating will superficially object and say they won’t be in such a relationship, yet most will remain in such a relationship. It’s a don’t ask don’t tell type of situation. They don’t want it in their face but many are willing to compete. Not something most women are willing to openly admit however.
Honestly as a guy who at times has been more attractive than others, just keep shooting your shots. I mean work out and take care of yourself but get in that experience. You will be rejected a thousand times before you make one breakthrough sometimes. That's just reality and you gotta keep trying. I see plenty of hot girls with mediocre guys. Just keep trying.
As a new subscriber , just wanted to say thank you for the great quality videos. Really really appreciate it.
25:44 definitely this. Also therapy might be useful to understand why you’re not able to take action because sometimes that can come with feelings of insecurity, self doubt etc.
11:41 the problem with eye contact is most people. Platonic or romantic interest. Man or woman...they think I'm staring into their soul and it makes people uncomfortable. Like undivided attention is a bad thing. A lot of conversations I have with anyone, they're more comfortable standing next to each other looking out as opposed to face to face looking at each other
Im a 5'6" chinese guy in the UK and I cold approached a stunning blonde in the gym 20 years younger than me and told her she looked really good. She was actually really grateful and thanked me with a big smile. We need to stop putting women all in one basket. THey are individuals like us men. It all depends on the female and what mood shes in.
"She was actually really grateful and thanked me with a big smile."
This is what you wanted from the stunning blonde?
Exactly… bro got rejected in a nice way as to not cause future issues….
REEEEEEEE JEKT TED
You got politely rejected and she got free validation. Kind of proved the point. If you should see her again, assumung she's single, I'd be surprised if you get her number. Not trying to put you down, you seem like a genuine person. What you believe simply isn't true, and won't help you get the results you may want.
@@user-ty5cw1rb3w Maybe you're right cos of the age gap, but maybe if i was a similar age, who knows?? 🤔
You made the right decision, bro. Even with the best of intentions their advice is misleading. I've seen dudes get lost for years by asking women dating advice.
As a 48 year old man the term "approach Journal" made me laugh out loud
Interesting observations. Thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work!
As a woman I have to say that I’m surprised that the approach of “You look interesting, are you?” Is raising guys acceptance rate. Because if I were to be approached that way it would be the same principle as the cold approach. I would have to already be interested to begin with, otherwise it would land on me in a negative way. That’s Amazing though that you have found hacks like that for men. I’m sure it’s really helpful for them and it benefits the women too. I’m not on dating apps any more but I remember whenever I used to be it would surprise me at how many guys and girls that I would meet on. There had basically no personality or substance whatsoever whenever I tried to have a conversation with them. However I would always meet some gems too and I had good experiences on the apps but you have to shift thru like 80% filler to get to someone with some substance to them as a person.
I don't think this approach would work on me either, it's a bit of a low effort convo starter putting it on the woman to actually throw a topic. Or you then have to ask "which bit did you find interesting". Someone picking something specifically interesting like "oh wow, you have been to Carnarvon Gorge as well? It looks like we both love the outdoors" Is way more engaging.
Read the room if you ain't feeling it. Odds are neither is she. Find something to talk about, "Hey, in like your tattoos? Where did you get them? What do they mean?".
Lastly, this is the most important part. BE GENUINE!
Before approaching a woman, get 3 IOIs beforehand. Then you can go in with the mindset that you're giving her what she was already asking for non verbally.
I think the only female dating coach I've ever known to help, and she helped me a ton when I was single, was Kezia Noble. But I do have to say, I learned a long time ago you better be absolutely very careful and selective when it comes to taking dating advice from women b/c it's normally complete crap.
As a former dating coach, I approve this message.
Only about 2 out of 10 female dating coach are the real deal where they expose the dark behaviour of women but of course one must do their own research, experience and diligent to improve and see which works and whats the winrate
Yeah Blaine is definitely not the one to talk about women's darker behaviors - at least not that I've heard - tbh i would never even expect a woman to go there I'm surprised that you're saying they're out there
@@AJ0223 I am a woman. I don't talk to or befriend other women anymore. So even if I wanted to warn other men about what they do there's no way that I can do it.
After watching this video I realized that I'm better off single. It's just too much work and too much risk for little reward.
I'd rather keep my peace, my hobbies and my friends.
@@HerrenGamingNews you’re a man. It’s your responsibility to pursue a woman you’re interested who’s interested back. You already lost without even trying.
As a married guy, I believe that many men have lost the art of the flirt, which centers on negging. This has to be done carefully and with experience because otherwise it comes across as mean or hurtful. Instead it should come across as edgy and playful.
It centers on teasing not negging. Very different connotations.
This is true. They have never experienced what this looks like from a man’s perspective.
I am not a huge fan of her content now, but at one point considered using her a couple years ago. Given it’s kind of an investment I did a deep dive into her “product” and who she typically helps. In the end, the problems she is trying to solve weren’t really my problems (which were more of an issue of not putting myself in the right groups to meet quality women and relying too much on apps which were more of a quantity vs quality issue for me).
She really focuses on men who often lack some fundamental social skills (many more focused on women than even having a core group of friends first) and are often petrified of talking to women at all but are obsessed with women who they might not even be a good match for (while extreme think of the nerdy theater kid who has a crush on the head cheerleader). I’m not sure you need a dating coach to solve that problem. If anything it’s more of a mindset shift, and realizing that if you are the best version of yourself and you have social skills, a woman will like you or she won’t. Sure there are certain dynamics that one should be aware of in terms of understanding what women generally want, but other than that it’s pretty much being confident in yourself and understanding it’s a bit of a numbers game as long as you aren’t being totally unreasonable with your preferences based on who you are at your core.
A friend of mine in college was too much in his head and trying to think of the perfect thing to say to women. I told him that it isn't what it is said, it is who says it. And that was in 1994 or 1995. In my own opinion, I think that it is best to avoid discussing her looks. James Dobson (look him up) suggested waiting until after the 5th date in a courtship before mentioning a woman's looks, so I would take his advice before any woman's on how to catch a fish, no matter what kind of dating you are doing.
I am a woman. It doesn't bother me if a guy tells me that I'm pretty right from the moment that he meets me but if it's all that he talks about on the date that's were things go downhill.
women also say they want an emotionally available man. wrong. they were hurt by an unavailable man, but they were still attracted for that reason. they just don't like that they got hurt, so they try to pretend they're attracted to the thing they don't want. it never works.
Imo the "stand out with good compliments" is just a gamble. It CAN work but a "generic" compliment can too. It just comes down if she is interested or not. If yes, a generic and outstanding compliment both will work and if not both won't work. Social interaction can't be engineered like that, it is complex. Be yourself, get to know the other person well and let them decide if they like you or not. No fishing required.