The Most Bizarre Speedrun Strategy Ever Found

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  • Опубликовано: 5 мар 2021
  • 🔵FOLLOW-UP VIDEO: • Gamer Gunk Speedruns P...
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    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Special thanks to TheCoolSquare for collecting data on the drives over the past year, and to ZimSR for developing some important tools, theories, and helping with the workload of figuring this out.
    I also used this cool song again: • [F-Zero GX] Shotgun Ki...
    Opening was a quirky parody of Karl Jobst's video on the Dream controversy. U can check that out here: • The Biggest Cheating S...
  • ИгрыИгры

Комментарии • 3,1 тыс.

  • @SHiFTss
    @SHiFTss  3 года назад +1129

    FOLLOW-UP VIDEO: ruclips.net/video/ag4sPDw4qM8/видео.html
    FAQ 1: Why include "time with loads" for speedruns of this game?
    Answer: the loads are consistent so there is no reason to remove them. they're part of the game and the routing decisions made to beat it as quickly as possible in real time, as are all other moments of the run where you aren't necessarily doing something at that given time. because loads are not random, they are treated the same way. for two players following the meta and playing on the fastest disc drives (which are plentiful and accessible), removing their loads would not change their ranks. PC speedruns typically remove loads through programs running under the game since hardware and software combinations for PCs are infinitely variable, causing unpredictable loads among all players. Consoles have the luxury of either having no variation, or very little variation which can be eliminated through knowledge as seen with the xboxes. removing loads does not make your speedrun faster by the way - it still took you that amount of time to complete it. rather than being used to make a run "faster," removing loads serves as a function for ranking players on the same platform if their loads are unpredictable. and as long as the best players are following the meta, their hardware and loads will be exactly alike. "removing loads" is also disingenuous to the risk/reward of having tougher lag clips for faster loads, or having shorter VMS and L-respawn 1-frame windows after loads and deaths (which we didn't even discuss here :P). if a player knows their loads will be removed, the meta would become playing on the worst console possible to make some tricks as lenient as possible. not only does this defy the goal to beat the game as quickly as possible, it also completely alters routing considerations that would be entirely different if the player were actually trying to beat the game in the shortest amount of time. even if it were practical to edit 80+ transparent loading screens out of 6,000+ speedruns and counting, there is no reason to do so when up-to-speed consoles are obtainable. I used the same xbox every single day for over 3 years and it never slowed down. bonus: if load times were not counted for competition, players can just obscure their discs until they barely work and make lag clips possible in many more areas than they already are, while just accepting 40+ second loads because they wouldn't count anyway. sounds pretty disingenuous to "beating the game as quickly as possible," and not very fun to play at all!
    FAQ 2: Why not just ban fingerprints and scratches from discs?
    Answer: there is no sensical way to ban fingerprints, scratches and scuffs from discs. the game is nearly 20 years old, so they are bound to be scuffed - some more than others. the "little brother at the dinner table" hypothetical was meant to demonstrate that anyone can have a disc like this without knowing, or end up with one after purchasing it used from a seller... which at this point is how 99% of people acquire the game. even using the disc to play the game damages it over time as well... i'm sure some of you have, or know someone who has a disc which broke entirely just from playing it too much. back when game consoles used to constantly load discs to play them, this was very common. everyone's disc will eventually reach the critical point where they are scuffed enough to perform some of these lag clips consistently, while still retaining fast loads. stamping fingerprints is simply speeding up the inevitable process without actually damaging the disc. you can always wash it off. and surely many of the runners, even runners of other games, have several fingerprints on their own discs they have never realized existed. remember that the guy in the video had no idea his disc was that messed up until he shined a light over it!
    FAQ 3: Isn't this just like cartridge tilting on the N64?
    Answer: this is not comparable to "cartridge tilting" for n64 games. cartridge tilting can alter bit and memory values by adjusting how the cart connects to the console. i understand why people may draw this comparison because it still seems like a "changing how the console connects to the game" situation, but it just isn't that simple. a comparable situation would be adjusting the way the laser reads the disc itself, not the clarity of the disc or laser. if the laser were reading different parts of the disc for specific situations during which it shouldn't, that would be comparable to cartridge tilting. an n64 comparison for disc smearing would be sticking your fingers up the cart and dirtying the connectors. it would make the console less effective at reading the game, but would not change how it is read. the best analogy i can come up with for this is trying to read a book with blurry glasses versus trying to read a book with glasses that scramble the words. blurry glasses = disc smearing, word scrambler glasses = cartridge tilting.
    FAQ 4: Doesn't this make "good loads" less accessible?
    Answer: i believe some people are viewing this from the wrong way around. it isn't the loads that are inaccessible, it's the *lag* that's inaccessible. even if it were practical to disallow fingerprints on a disc, by doing this you would be forcing players to purchase samsung B xboxes until they finally win the "lottery" and get one that can lag well, which is absolutely ridiculous considering someone may already have a scuffed disc and be able to do them more easily anyway. smudging the disc simply allows players to catch up with others in a phenomenon that will happen naturally over time anyway, and makes the lag needed to perform these high level tricks 100% accessible.
    FAQ 5: Will there be a leaderboard split now that this has been discovered?
    Answer: no, there will be no leaderboard split for lag clips and no lag clips. lag clips were discovered and used since late 2018, and have been a staple of the speedrun since early 2019. they are so woven into the game's progression, and essentially already separate the best players from those not as experienced anyway, that "banning" them would in no way be practical especially at this point in the game's development. they make the game more interesting and fun to play anyway if you've spent your fair share of time learning them
    FAQ 6: So do I really have to make my disc disgusting to make this strat work?
    Answer: the "gamer gunk and sweat" bits are obviously exaggerated for comedic effect here. i tried being concise, but i meant to demonstrate that literally spreading sweat onto your disc causes it to not load at all. but for the sake of testing the theory that fingerprints can cause lag, it was worth taking it to the extreme in order to rule things out. if you use anything denser than basic fingerprints that would occur from natural use (if you're careless with your discs i guess), you'll either have random 20+ second loads throughout the run or crash at some point altogether. and no, the ketchup disc obviously didn't work, but it would've been hilarious if it did.
    FAQ 7: Discovered on March 5th and uploaded on March 6th... Did you make this video in one day?
    Answer: yes the entire video was scripted and edited in 24 hours. this is why the quality feels even more rushed than the first 2 parts of the bfbb speedrun documentary, which were finished in 1.5s weeks and 30-40 days respectively (despite taking 3 weeks on the 50,000 word research/skeleton of parts 1-4). at least part 2 had a 10-day polishing period, whereas the other videos did not. we speedrun videos around here too :)
    glad this video provoked some discussion and hopefully you all enjoyed :)

    • @lslees_6192
      @lslees_6192 3 года назад +39

      Teacher: make an essay on a topic of your choice
      Me:

    • @SHiFTss
      @SHiFTss  3 года назад +51

      @@polocatfan fingerprints don't ruin discs, they wash off. i would agree with you here if we were intentionally scratching or defacing them. however this discovery did lead to more issues that will be discussed in a follow-up video soon :o

    • @daveypocket8847
      @daveypocket8847 3 года назад +2

      Crazy that this happened on my 20th birthday! Lmao 🤣

    • @superboss1493
      @superboss1493 3 года назад +4

      Sure the fingerprints wash off, if you clean them off properly. If you encourage people to smudge their discs, they're gonna do it wrong and break their games. Then less copies will be in the world and that's worse. I mean it's their life and their property but...idk I just feel compelled to say something cus I care about the art, do what you will and have a great day. Your runs are cool by the way, keep up the good work.

    • @matthiasc.z8332
      @matthiasc.z8332 3 года назад +4

      Hey man great video, I wanted to address there are some points in the video with flashing lights i.e 5:50 try putting a warning next time. Thanks!

  • @failboat
    @failboat 3 года назад +20934

    A save performed by licking the disc
    Maybe that whole "don't lick the switch cartridge" thing was just to keep us away from the truth

    • @oopssorry3378
      @oopssorry3378 3 года назад +240

      I eat them

    • @hoagielamp6543
      @hoagielamp6543 3 года назад +198

      I've never owned a switch but when my mate bought a game i asked to lick the cartridge. They do add a bitterant to stop kids from eating them but it's not on the point of connection.

    • @RichConnerGMN
      @RichConnerGMN 3 года назад +239

      god, nintendo's anti-speedrun tactics go THAT far?

    • @Skippyxlxlxl
      @Skippyxlxlxl 3 года назад +69

      It tastes good I put it in my soup for flavor

    • @backwardsface3046
      @backwardsface3046 3 года назад +11

      @@hoagielamp6543 it’s actually the entire cart

  • @darksniper1n
    @darksniper1n 3 года назад +9343

    The fact this was discovered by a dude named "SwagMasterDoritios" is the ultimate justice.

  • @crispyandspicy6813
    @crispyandspicy6813 3 года назад +2385

    "Why is there cheeto dust on your gamepad?"
    "I speedrun"

    • @zwenkwiel816
      @zwenkwiel816 3 года назад +52

      This isn't trash all over my room, it's all part of my strategy...

    • @Felix8xd
      @Felix8xd 2 года назад +10

      You wouldnt get it.

  • @SamTheUndying
    @SamTheUndying 3 года назад +1303

    SwagMasterDoritos: "I'm so close to world record I can almost taste it"
    **proceeds to lick the disc furiously**

  • @pwedibuscus
    @pwedibuscus 3 года назад +5141

    Greased and Non-Greased are the two new run categories.

    • @Butter-Milk
      @Butter-Milk 3 года назад +45

      HAHAHA!

    • @stickk6066
      @stickk6066 3 года назад +188

      When you realize that would actually make sense... I love this fucking community

    • @Emperor_Mateus_of_Palamecia
      @Emperor_Mateus_of_Palamecia 3 года назад +103

      Grease%

    • @nickolaswilcox425
      @nickolaswilcox425 3 года назад +69

      impossible to prove, it would basically require the inclusion of an extra camera or to not use screen capture methods, plus its not like you can ever be certain if some random speck was enough to cause it or not, this is going to fall into the category of strategies that will be allowed to be unspecified simply due to unreliability and unprovability

    • @Butter-Milk
      @Butter-Milk 3 года назад +7

      @@nickolaswilcox425 Yeah that makes sense

  • @TheGawd100
    @TheGawd100 3 года назад +3717

    Bro this literally sounds like the solution if we were in an episode of Spongebob

    • @BizKwikTwist
      @BizKwikTwist 3 года назад +21

      Loloool fr

    • @sauercrowder
      @sauercrowder 3 года назад +87

      Needs that patty grease

    • @Dargonhuman
      @Dargonhuman 3 года назад +234

      I wish I could argue with that, but you're not wrong.
      I can even see it in my head. Squidward and Spongebob are competing against each other in a speedrun showdown for some reason, Spongebob consistently smokes Squidward's best times leading to the following exchange:
      Squidward: You're cheating! You have to be cheating, no one can finish the game that fast, it's literally impossible!
      Spongebob: Don't be mad, Squidward, I'm not a cheater. It's just that I keep my disc nice and shiny all the time.
      Squidward: Shiny? Let me see!
      Spongebob shows Squidward his game disc, which is literally dripping with yellowish goo.
      Squidward: This thing is filthy and disgusting! What is that gunk all over it?
      Spongebob: It's not gunk! It's shiny!
      Squidward: Okay, I probably don't want to know, but how do you get it so ... shiny?
      Spongebob: Like this!
      Spongebob licks the disc's read surface then vigorously wipes it with his dirty, stained Krusty Krab apron.
      Squidward: (horrified) Spongebob! That apron is covered in Krabby Patty grease! When was the last time you washed that thing?
      Spongebob: *laughs* Squidward, I know it's covered in grease, that's what makes the disc so shiny!

    • @sontyphalt45
      @sontyphalt45 3 года назад +40

      @@Dargonhuman Beautiful

    • @rompevuevitos222
      @rompevuevitos222 3 года назад +58

      I can hear "Patrick, you are a genius" after he somehow comes up with this as a solution

  • @MeiaLuaDeCompasso
    @MeiaLuaDeCompasso 2 года назад +145

    I'm convinced cancer would be cured if speedrunners were in charge of the research.
    Also I am actually a research scientist (isotope geochemistry) and I have to say, this is genuinely on par with collaborative scientific methodologies. Y'all could really be great scientists if you aren't already! This is beautiful, and love to see the heart and soul being poured into such a niche community. This is the kind of stuff the internet is all about. Rock on y'all!

    • @flannelsone1159
      @flannelsone1159 8 месяцев назад

      I don't get it, why would speed runners be productive?

  • @augustina3657
    @augustina3657 3 года назад +385

    Speedrunners really are a different breed. The sheer insanity of this entire community fascinates me.

    • @kitten-whisperer
      @kitten-whisperer 3 года назад +9

      I don't understand a majority of it but it amazes me too.

    • @broomybroomybroomy
      @broomybroomybroomy 2 года назад +10

      That’s precisely why I like it. People that are outraged by any% runs and dismiss them as “not real” are no fun. They are even more legitimate IMO

    • @XxXMrSisterFisterXxX
      @XxXMrSisterFisterXxX 2 года назад +2

      @@broomybroomybroomy they both have their own merits. i enjoy watching any% more for the speed and insanity in the methods. 100% is still impressive in a different way because of being able to memorize the most efficient path to collecting all necessary items/quests/whatever.
      i couldn't memorize how to 100% any game, playing normally. even if i did it 100 times I'm sure i'd forget things and have to look it up again

  • @kevinmcclintock4613
    @kevinmcclintock4613 3 года назад +2133

    Imagine being so greasy that you accidentally redefine a speed run.

  • @M14Gaming
    @M14Gaming 3 года назад +2796

    never in my life did i think we'd reach a point where a speedrunner could miss a trick and someone could ask, legitimately, "hmm... did you G R E A S E up your disc enough?"

    • @Winasaurus
      @Winasaurus 3 года назад +164

      "My friend, you're just not greasy enough to clip as fast as me."

    • @sylvie3528
      @sylvie3528 3 года назад +23

      i hate my generation

    • @flauntingfloof
      @flauntingfloof 3 года назад +34

      @@sylvie3528 congrats

    • @heckno15yearsago
      @heckno15yearsago 3 года назад +13

      @@sylvie3528 “i WaS bOrN In tHe WrOnG gEnErAtIoN”

    • @hrgrhrhhr
      @hrgrhrhhr 3 года назад +7

      @@sylvie3528 good for you

  • @musiciscool1990
    @musiciscool1990 3 года назад +191

    The internet has glorified insanity.

  • @superbigtime
    @superbigtime 3 года назад +352

    Broke: glitches, out-of-bounds, skips, exploits
    Woke: smearing bodily fluids on your game disc

  • @lhumanoideerrantdesinterne8598
    @lhumanoideerrantdesinterne8598 3 года назад +3803

    From his profile picture, to his name, to the fact he speedruns a SpongeBob game, to the way he cleans his disks there is absolutely nothing inconsistent with SwagMasterDorritos. This guy is a legend.

    • @bilbolaggins2431
      @bilbolaggins2431 3 года назад +250

      A gamer of the truest caliber

    • @dah_goofster
      @dah_goofster 3 года назад +190

      I can smell the bong water from here

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 3 года назад +183

      That man... is beyond certified to be a gamer. He is the living embodiment of what people think gamers are like.

    • @SaHaRaSquad
      @SaHaRaSquad 3 года назад +72

      A gamer molded in swag, sweat and doritos.

    • @RealLockheedMartin
      @RealLockheedMartin 3 года назад +63

      @@dah_goofster Dude drank the bong water and gained unimaginable power. It's the secret the Illuminati don't want you to know.

  • @bobbillans6715
    @bobbillans6715 3 года назад +4312

    Does this mean actual greasy fry cooks have a speedrunning advantage? Perhaps this was planned from the start.

    • @phcgamer8733
      @phcgamer8733 3 года назад +179

      Dear Neptune.

    • @jadeaaron2003
      @jadeaaron2003 3 года назад +104

      Oh my fucking g o d.

    • @youtubeneedstochange4414
      @youtubeneedstochange4414 3 года назад +36

      Your pfp fits perfectly with this comment.

    • @timothyhall4794
      @timothyhall4794 3 года назад +60

      It's not an exploit. It's lore.

    • @man3son1
      @man3son1 3 года назад +96

      Does this mean the KFConsole will be the superior technology for future speedruns?

  • @28crane
    @28crane 3 года назад +439

    I actually got disturbed with that fried chicken sitting on a controller.

    • @quagmiretoiletgaming
      @quagmiretoiletgaming 3 года назад +16

      It's a special grease proof controller

    • @DolusVulpes
      @DolusVulpes 2 года назад +13

      It's just a prototype for the KFConsole controller.

    • @yoyu8641
      @yoyu8641 2 года назад

      That ranma profile pic just brought so much nostalgia for me

    • @romanpisani8157
      @romanpisani8157 2 года назад

      @@DolusVulpes no

    • @DolusVulpes
      @DolusVulpes 2 года назад

      @@romanpisani8157 yes

  • @Minitomate
    @Minitomate 3 года назад +206

    Who would imagine that your little brother with no care at all for your game disks would end up making you one of the most ridiculously fastests speedruns of all time.

  • @Jimbleton115
    @Jimbleton115 3 года назад +7982

    Throwback to when i joked around in chat about strategically scratching the disc to make lag clips more consistent

    • @mixttime
      @mixttime 3 года назад +457

      I mean, you risk having a permanently over damaged disk. But if done right you don't need to worry about the grease sweet spot because a clean disk would be in that sweet spot.

    • @ElDoctor0311
      @ElDoctor0311 3 года назад +97

      I think I saw you mentioning that on chat...

    • @minscandboo1213
      @minscandboo1213 3 года назад +83

      Time to make some speed run only copies...
      Bring a dremel.
      Edit: Dremel is actually a tool brand.
      But any tool will do, unless that tool is paper.

    • @AmaroqStarwind
      @AmaroqStarwind 3 года назад +131

      Use a laser to very precisely over-burn certain spots on the disc (after first doing an extremely precise map of the disc), and make those very precise spots harder to read.
      Also, if you watch "A Tale of Two CD Players" by Technology Connections, you can possibly find other ways to very precisely scratch a disc so that it could possibly track faster or slower in other spots too.

    • @mrs.specksynder970
      @mrs.specksynder970 3 года назад +7

      The prophet has spoken!

  • @enzosgames324
    @enzosgames324 3 года назад +896

    I’m really not surprised that a dude named “swagmasterdoritos” cleans his disks by licking them.

    • @Ribbons0121R121
      @Ribbons0121R121 3 года назад +7

      me either

    • @TwinShards
      @TwinShards 3 года назад +1

      His gaming name was a clue all along.
      Who would believe it.

    • @FFNOJG
      @FFNOJG 3 года назад

      wait who doesn't do this??

  • @jamesrockwell608
    @jamesrockwell608 3 года назад +40

    11:11 "The clock capacitor, as the name implies, capacitates time on the xbox" dude that is not how capacitors works...

    • @Ettrix
      @Ettrix 2 года назад +5

      It capacitates clocks , not time

  • @jaybayer3670
    @jaybayer3670 3 года назад +55

    I'm just gonna classify this video as a meme/joke in my brain and never think about it again.

  • @Bismuth9
    @Bismuth9 3 года назад +7520

    This is definitely a good candidate for most bizarre strategy, but I'm still partial to pressing down on your controller's circuit board in Goldeneye

    • @SHiFTss
      @SHiFTss  3 года назад +1318

      i tried making a joke here but youtube spam filter got me on my own video.

    • @MeesterTweester
      @MeesterTweester 3 года назад +554

      Literally heating up your console with a hot plate for Dragon Quest is also a candidate

    • @GooGivers
      @GooGivers 3 года назад +29

      @Michael M there is? i thought only in banjo kazooie.

    • @JulianneStingray
      @JulianneStingray 3 года назад +9

      Hi Bismuth

    • @ReynLynxPSI
      @ReynLynxPSI 3 года назад +190

      ​@Michael M what the hell even is speedrunning anymore

  • @godsdrunkestdriver8438
    @godsdrunkestdriver8438 3 года назад +2974

    Clearly the KFConsole will provide a huge advantage to speedruns

  • @peepeepoopoovdbhxvbcc6683
    @peepeepoopoovdbhxvbcc6683 3 года назад +58

    If you breathe really hard on a spongebob: battle for bikini bottom disc for the Xbox and then mash pause menu in the level “industrial park”, spongebob bursts into a ball of light that slowly consumes the entire world
    Mental

  • @squelchedotter
    @squelchedotter 3 года назад +43

    honestly, at the point where you're buying specific hard drive models to minimize load times, you should just time without loads?

    • @rgbglass7163
      @rgbglass7163 2 года назад +10

      Thats what I'm saying

    • @XxXMrSisterFisterXxX
      @XxXMrSisterFisterXxX 2 года назад

      I'm no speedrunner, but aren't load times already removed? or is that just for PC runs?

    • @bendingwater7780
      @bendingwater7780 2 года назад

      load times are removed from games that benefit a small couple at the cost of money .similar load time and price probably not. exp. 500$ computer vs 5000$ computer. removed but 100$vs 100$ and some research no

    • @Ettrix
      @Ettrix 2 года назад +1

      @@bendingwater7780 So what if the fastest version Xbox goes up in price because speed runners are scooping them all up? That would classify under your first example for justification of load removal.

    • @Nikola_M
      @Nikola_M Месяц назад +1

      And also allow software modifications that always yield the higher lag clip chances, so that speedrunners don't have to physically damage their game

  • @ThaRixer
    @ThaRixer 3 года назад +2123

    So much blood, sweat and tears has been put into the speedrun of this game, so now that all three of those things have nowhere to go, you put it on the disk

    • @shiftymiata
      @shiftymiata 3 года назад +1

      I knew you'd be here somewhere

    • @johnhall7215
      @johnhall7215 3 года назад +1

      I love the Vince Staples Profile pic

    • @Tralby19
      @Tralby19 3 года назад

      @@johnhall7215 which one

    • @Tstewa4869
      @Tstewa4869 3 года назад +1

      @@Tralby19 It's the artwork for "Big Fish" by Vince

    • @Tralby19
      @Tralby19 3 года назад

      @@Tstewa4869 oh I don't listen to him I just didn't know whos pfp he meant

  • @coffeebean2
    @coffeebean2 3 года назад +1754

    This story is like those scenes in anime where the main character stops and looks around the room for a few seconds and notices that a painting is 3mm out of place and that reveals the murderers entire entrance and exit plan, along with their birthplace, favorite color, first pet's name, and the street they grew up on.

    • @k_kubes
      @k_kubes 3 года назад +102

      Ace Attorney be like:

    • @petruciosxd1374
      @petruciosxd1374 3 года назад +47

      @@k_kubes Ace Attorney Investigations spoilers:
      *S A M U R A I D O G*

    • @catpower8822
      @catpower8822 3 года назад +46

      Don't forget the mother's maiden name and your future dreams

    • @Corn624
      @Corn624 3 года назад +9

      Professor Layton

    • @KiritoBlackSwordsman647
      @KiritoBlackSwordsman647 3 года назад +10

      So Death Note?

  • @QuartzChrysalis
    @QuartzChrysalis 3 года назад +69

    He licks his discs clean. I am screaming externally.

  • @WiteOut90
    @WiteOut90 3 года назад +19

    This is super wild that your community is so into this run that you broke down all of the hardware this much to improve your runs

  • @starlight4649
    @starlight4649 3 года назад +746

    This seems like something somebody who never speedran would say.
    "What if we greased up the game disc so it made the game go faster"
    I can't believe something like that would actually work

    • @FatCatCooper
      @FatCatCooper 3 года назад +25

      Haha grease move fast make game load quick

    • @Lamaneus
      @Lamaneus 3 года назад +28

      It actually doesn't make it faster per se. Makes it so that a game, on a certain model of Xbox, run a tad bit slower when pressing the pause button rapidly so that is slow enough to perform tricks. Which it's even more ridiculous. "I need the game to run fast but not as fast enough so I can perform this trick. How do I do it? By scratching the disc of course!"

    • @taiyoqun
      @taiyoqun 3 года назад +8

      We pot dah red paint on da exboks so da gam go fasta, so we think, if we pot da red blood on da disk tha gam will go fasta but da game was so slo Bob krumped imself and went fasta so we orks won da speedran

    • @ce461
      @ce461 3 года назад

      Dude took the old saying “use a little elbow grease” to heart

    • @TimeDagar
      @TimeDagar 3 года назад +1

      @@Lamaneus Sometimes slower is faster.

  • @ewanherbert3402
    @ewanherbert3402 3 года назад +519

    Love listening to a story about a man named "Swagmasterdoritos" licking his game CDs so that he can Spontchbop faster at 2 AM in the morning. Very cool.

    • @Anankin12
      @Anankin12 3 года назад +23

      As opposed to 2 AM in the afternoon, I guess

    • @cryocat2866
      @cryocat2866 3 года назад +5

      Oh boy 2am!

    • @ghost_fueled_scarecrow
      @ghost_fueled_scarecrow 3 года назад

      Noob, im watching this at 5:30 AM!

    • @thegamerfe8751
      @thegamerfe8751 2 года назад

      Bruh, 2AM in the morning ?? No way dude, I thought it was at 2AM in the evening.

  • @thatrealycoolguy
    @thatrealycoolguy 3 года назад +16

    “The top speed runner licks his disks to clean them” yeah that tracks

    • @---cr8nw
      @---cr8nw 2 года назад

      Windows too.

  • @borin192
    @borin192 3 года назад +18

    I thought the elephant in the room would be the fact that he cleans his disks by licking them

  • @TylerLasagna
    @TylerLasagna 3 года назад +1234

    i never want to hear 'strategic stains' again

    • @infinitetgaming
      @infinitetgaming 3 года назад +2

      hey tyler nice to see you here

    • @warlord4thewitness
      @warlord4thewitness 3 года назад +24

      strategically coom at different angles

    • @Patrickh08
      @Patrickh08 3 года назад +1

      *MMMMMMMM ME GUSTA STRATEGIC STAINS!*

    • @letsgetbetterfrank6152
      @letsgetbetterfrank6152 3 года назад +3

      If you think hard enough about it that’s what we all could be classified as.

    • @usefulbobcat
      @usefulbobcat 3 года назад

      I'm not messy they're strategic stains

  • @Schtaggy
    @Schtaggy 3 года назад +1058

    When you join the wrong class but it's actually interesting

  • @lucash1955
    @lucash1955 3 года назад +4

    My friend: wanna play some games?
    Me: yeah sure bro
    Friend: ok here is your controller
    My controller: 0:24

  • @dualscreen8789
    @dualscreen8789 3 года назад +18

    Me seeing ketchup on the disc: Oh it's april fools.
    Me realizing this was uploaded three weeks ago: ._.

  • @acai28
    @acai28 3 года назад +2931

    This is hilarious

  • @Shwert890
    @Shwert890 3 года назад +1317

    I literally busted out laughing when I saw swagmasterdoritos message of how he licks the disks and ended up finding a new time save lmaoooo

    • @Syllaren
      @Syllaren 3 года назад +39

      Living up to his name

    • @dgtallgamer
      @dgtallgamer 2 года назад +4

      Same here, freaking hilarious

    • @DieAlteistwiederda
      @DieAlteistwiederda 2 года назад +24

      This sounds like something my nephew would have done as a child and it made me snort out loud both because it was so unexpected and funny but also because it's so disgusting.

    • @crookman42
      @crookman42 2 года назад +5

      @@DieAlteistwiederda yep, it was a real cringe-moment for me, thinking about someone licking their disc clean. I think my tongue got a serious infection just by learning about that. :D

  • @-K_J-
    @-K_J- 2 года назад +4

    "smeared my gamer gunk" is my favorite phrase in this entire video

  • @the44thcosmic_galaxy25
    @the44thcosmic_galaxy25 3 года назад +13

    The friend that gave disc cleaning advice to swagmaster, has an absolute big brain

  • @atmsoa9222
    @atmsoa9222 3 года назад +719

    This is why I love speedrunning; it’s ridiculous I would have never even joked that runners would lick they’re discs for better time.

  • @tearlach47
    @tearlach47 3 года назад +420

    This legit feels like an April Fools prank

    • @OatmealTheCrazy
      @OatmealTheCrazy 3 года назад +15

      Microwave your xbox to fix the capacitors

    • @greatmusicmaster7946
      @greatmusicmaster7946 3 года назад +2

      Don't it will fry all the circuits instead put an old CD in there. When you see all the sparks I can guarantee you won't want to put your Xbox in the microwave

    • @OatmealTheCrazy
      @OatmealTheCrazy 3 года назад +9

      @@greatmusicmaster7946 I hoped it would be obvious I wasn't being serious 🤐
      I was referencing the April Fool's thing about recharging your phone by putting it in the microwave

    • @scurus11scurus
      @scurus11scurus 3 года назад +3

      @@OatmealTheCrazy i get it... your second comment is the April Fools joke... you almost got me... I shall now proceed to microwave my XBoX

    • @Uggabugga07
      @Uggabugga07 3 года назад +2

      @@scurus11scurus ikr, im not that stupid, microwaving it is obviously the best thing to do

  • @xxportalxx.
    @xxportalxx. 3 года назад +12

    "Gamer Gunk" aight that's gotta be the nastiest thing I've heard all week

  • @thatpersonwithamlpiconwhos2861
    @thatpersonwithamlpiconwhos2861 3 года назад +15

    I feel like soon we’re gonna have people putting their xboxes in particle accelerators to blast the CPU with electrons to cause the game to load faster/slower and shave entire picoseconds off of runs

  • @Cyranek
    @Cyranek 3 года назад +3902

    an incredible discovery. a product of pure genius.

  • @churricardo1457
    @churricardo1457 3 года назад +1265

    certified “holy shit go outside” moment

    • @metalmugen
      @metalmugen 3 года назад +57

      This is some quality 'tism for sure 👌

    • @geirokkuii5707
      @geirokkuii5707 3 года назад +1

      @@metalmugen 'tism?

    • @Gatorade69
      @Gatorade69 3 года назад +18

      @@geirokkuii5707 Goldtism.

    • @That_Awesome_Guy1
      @That_Awesome_Guy1 3 года назад +9

      @@geirokkuii5707 artism.

    • @dayone3363
      @dayone3363 3 года назад +6

      @@geirokkuii5707 yomama'ism

  • @radricdavis803
    @radricdavis803 2 года назад +3

    Speed runners never cease to amaze me. I don’t think I’d ever have the patience for it but goddamn what a breed of human

  • @titanlordkadaevr1771
    @titanlordkadaevr1771 3 года назад +7

    thank you for not being clickbait.

  • @Gathies
    @Gathies 3 года назад +718

    I feel like the elephant in the room is WHY DOES HE LICK HIS GAMES CLEAN??

    • @recht_voor_zijn_raap5506
      @recht_voor_zijn_raap5506 3 года назад +56

      That was my first thought too.
      Wtf?! Gross!

    • @RobertJW
      @RobertJW 3 года назад +47

      That made me gag, oh my god.

    • @johnthegreat7725
      @johnthegreat7725 3 года назад +24

      He was told to do this by a friend I think and just went with it I guess.

    • @JamAttack
      @JamAttack 3 года назад +16

      humanity is fucked

    • @bongosmcdongos4190
      @bongosmcdongos4190 3 года назад +16

      I did that too. But I was a kid. Fun fact it makes games actually run sometimes.

  • @rafaelgsbr
    @rafaelgsbr 3 года назад +436

    Ooohh, so THAT'S what you were doing when I was looking for something to watch on Twitch and there was this weird man wearing a robe and rubbing his sweat all over a disc, booting the game, pausing and unpausing like a madman and then repeating the process. Now it all makes sense.

    • @heiswatching
      @heiswatching 3 года назад +67

      the real definition of "trust the process"

    • @trybunt
      @trybunt 3 года назад +41

      This is why aliens fly right on by earth

    • @danielschmidtke9213
      @danielschmidtke9213 3 года назад +6

      @@trybunt No, it's mostly the smell.

    • @rootintootinnewton
      @rootintootinnewton 3 года назад

      @@danielschmidtke9213 bold of you to assume aliens can smell.

  • @cheesebusiness
    @cheesebusiness 3 года назад +29

    When I watch about speedrunners, I realize how awesome my life actually is

    • @Ettrix
      @Ettrix 2 года назад +2

      For me, it is because I am baffled by the amount of investment vs. potential reward ... even if you're the best #1 in the world, your accomplishment is really only known to that small community and on that one website.
      No sponsorship deals, etc. with the best/most you could hope for, coming from Twitch Streaming (if they even elect to partake), to add to this, how many of the biggest/most successful Twitch streamers are "speed runners" ... and then what you are left with once everything is said and done.
      I guess there is the argument to be made of fun/reward/fulfillment, but I just look at it as: If someone had taken the same amount of hours and put it into different concentrations and areas of life... and what you would be left with after those instead.

  • @jaytothesun99
    @jaytothesun99 3 года назад +3

    This is such an amazing story. I can’t believe it was something as simple as a dirty disk.

  • @galenmarek4117
    @galenmarek4117 3 года назад +673

    This is the most literal vile strat I've ever seen or heard

    • @8LiterallyJustTheNumber8
      @8LiterallyJustTheNumber8 3 года назад +12

      It's honestly hilarious to picture Galen Marek typing this out while watching this in his free time

    • @alanbeckett5578
      @alanbeckett5578 3 года назад +2

      @@8LiterallyJustTheNumber8 When you put it that way, it is funnier

  • @StrawberrySkyAct1
    @StrawberrySkyAct1 3 года назад +555

    This stacks with the guy who got an insane time on a SM64 run via an ionizing particle from space. Speedrunning is an absolute mystery.

    • @BelisariusCawl
      @BelisariusCawl 3 года назад +136

      The ionizing particle story turned out to be a cartidge title thingy, sadly the particle didnt flip a single byte.

    • @madghostek3026
      @madghostek3026 3 года назад +50

      @@BelisariusCawl The particle theory is much less likely the cause now after more investigation, but nothing is proven yet

    • @Thinktank-rn6dm
      @Thinktank-rn6dm 3 года назад +30

      @@BelisariusCawl *bit flipping an entire byte would be near impossible as 8 adjacent bits would have to be flipped at the exact same time

    • @nam6128
      @nam6128 3 года назад +39

      Cosmic rng

    • @bodyno3158
      @bodyno3158 3 года назад +3

      @Lain Or a radiation source, or we gonna ask Elon to send a speedrunner into the space.

  • @crazy338866
    @crazy338866 3 года назад +6

    As someone who enjoying watching speedrunners perform insane glitches, this discovery is fascinating.
    But as someone who also wants all of our old hardware to be preserved for future generations, I am deeply disturbed by the lengths speedrunners are willing to go to get faster runs.

  • @Cormageuh
    @Cormageuh 2 года назад +3

    Trying such petty strategies just to scratch some time in a speedrun is a disgrace.

  • @billybertsch1055
    @billybertsch1055 3 года назад +1257

    If you smear poop on the disc, you'll have yourself a Stool Assisted Speedrun.

    • @mrsandman1924
      @mrsandman1924 3 года назад +83

      Oh gods, how did you make me want to thumbs up and thumbs down you at the same time.

    • @YellowLAVA
      @YellowLAVA 3 года назад +14

      SAS

    • @Ribbons0121R121
      @Ribbons0121R121 3 года назад +16

      STOP

    • @seanwilkinson8696
      @seanwilkinson8696 3 года назад +12

      You just know that some basement 'runner in Iowa thinks it's legit, and so is currently "bowels deep intestine" this trick, to see what consistency of human dookie provides the smoothest movements.
      I say "stop it; get some help". These machines, like PCs, do tons of number-crunching, and will get more heated than a zany televangelist's "gib mah lotsa monnae fer anoo JeezusJet" rhetoric. Is topping a trivial world record by 0.00015 seconds worth the "shovel out the Augean Stables"-level of fussin' with feces and saturating your home with the inextricable pong of broasted poop?

    • @renatoimperatori5289
      @renatoimperatori5289 3 года назад +2

      69th like 🙂

  • @blacktytrix
    @blacktytrix 3 года назад +943

    Just from the first few minutes I can't tell if this is a meme video or the next part of speed running history for the game

    • @menvolk2086
      @menvolk2086 3 года назад +120

      I had to do a double take and check the date to make sure April 1st didn't come early

    • @thebeardedcat
      @thebeardedcat 3 года назад +13

      its bfbb. It's real.

  • @TheMick1up
    @TheMick1up 3 года назад +2

    I don't know anything about the spongebob speed running community, but you explained it very well!

  • @squaremarco
    @squaremarco 3 года назад +4

    Imagine gatekeeping speedrunning behind hardware lmfao

  • @MrMario2011
    @MrMario2011 3 года назад +1564

    Nastiest speedrun strategy confirmed? This was certainly unexpected!

  • @bandeyawx9709
    @bandeyawx9709 3 года назад +845

    this all feels like such a mindfuck. i cannot believe this is real.

    • @bandeyawx9709
      @bandeyawx9709 3 года назад +74

      ok no seriously like why the fuck did you do that? you really took your armpit sweat and just put all that on that game disc live on stream. that’s such a dominant act. i will NEVER be as good as you in anything with dedication and determination like that. what the FUCK.

    • @magithegreat
      @magithegreat 3 года назад +2

      @@bandeyawx9709 Same, I wish to one day approach the amount of dominance I have witnessed here today

  • @pjbroke335
    @pjbroke335 3 года назад +6

    6:43 lemme guess, the copious amounts of weed smoke and Dorito dust choked the cpu cooling just enough to make lag clips achievable.

  • @nijq
    @nijq 3 года назад +3

    10:40 "i clean my disks via licking them using a pillowcase to wipe and clean :)" - swagmasterdoritos
    ah yes the averager speedrunner

  • @anthonycannet1305
    @anthonycannet1305 3 года назад +117

    That must have been infuriating, knowing that your system hasn’t been modified and you didn’t cheat and your run being dismissed for being “too fast”

    • @murrfeeling
      @murrfeeling 3 года назад +6

      The disk had, arguably, undergone slight modification.
      Imagine if it had been one of those old back-in-the-day style carts like a Colecovison, with the capacitors and resistors inside the cart. A dude dusts off his old console and plugs in the Congo Bongo cart. Unknown to him, while in storage some ants crawled into the cart.
      When he turns it on one ant gets fried by electricity, its corpse stuck in exactly the right spot between a circuit board lead and a resistor that it triggers a switched bit error that keeps the levels on an easier setting than normal. A few months later he's posting incredible high-score videos.
      It's not intentional cheating, but his cartridge is just filthy in exactly the right way.

    • @cirlu_bd
      @cirlu_bd 3 года назад +5

      but he responded with the correct strategy : analysing the difference between consoles to understand why his was faster. Throwing a tantrum just screams "guilty", if you did cheat you can't prove your legitimacy, but if you did no wrong you will always be able to prove it.

    • @anthonycannet1305
      @anthonycannet1305 3 года назад +4

      @@cirlu_bd it's still probably really infuriating, working hard to achieve something and when you finally succeed people accuse you of cheating even though you didn't

    • @claiminglight
      @claiminglight 3 года назад +1

      That actually happens a fair amount. And there's also a fair amount of cheating. What can you do? Better to let a few eggs break then to have one second speed runs like you do on in-game leaderboards.

    • @Anankin12
      @Anankin12 3 года назад +1

      @@cirlu_bd you won't be always be able to prove it, that's why the justice system is "innocent until proven otherwise"

  • @Champiness
    @Champiness 3 года назад +279

    literal Mr. Krabs “the paint comes off with saliva” moment

  • @lordofhnajuty
    @lordofhnajuty 3 года назад +19

    I have never been more impressed, amazed, disgusted and irked in my life. Good video.

  • @gta123987
    @gta123987 3 года назад +2

    good work on this video man. new sub right here

  • @vin-cc9nk
    @vin-cc9nk 3 года назад +273

    I'm physically uncomfortable, yeah, the game was optimized further, but at what cost...

  • @alexmcp5153
    @alexmcp5153 3 года назад +343

    when you revealed that he _licks them clean_ I physically gagged with revulsion

    • @coolbrotherf127
      @coolbrotherf127 2 года назад +23

      I wouldn't have expected any difference from a guy calling himself swagmasterdoritos.

    • @moneer7139
      @moneer7139 2 года назад

      I don't see anything wrong with this

    • @crookman42
      @crookman42 2 года назад +5

      @@moneer7139 maybe you should change your name to swagmastermoneeros then ;)

  • @MintyDarkFinger
    @MintyDarkFinger 2 года назад +2

    I remember once I was watching my brothers play Resident Evil 3 on the PS1 and at basically game start after the cutscene my 2 older brothers were having an argument about who's going to play first which resulted in a fight over the control. Controller slips out of their hands, hits the top of the ps1 and the game freezes for 5 seconds and moves straight to the game completion scene and a game time of less than a minute (I think it was somewhere in the realm of 30 seconds) and no enemies killed etc. Was a bizarre and probably unreplicable experience that whilst not recorded means that me and my brothers have the #1 unoffical speed run recording by about 39 minutes, unintentionally anyway.

  • @jayfif3253
    @jayfif3253 3 года назад +5

    I'm just reading the comments and I can already tell how weird this will be.

  • @AROAH
    @AROAH 3 года назад +92

    Are you telling me Spongebob speed runners are why it’s so hard to find OG Xboxes

  • @jasonlecrown5427
    @jasonlecrown5427 3 года назад +211

    12:17 given the 100% failure rate of the clock capacitor it could be argued maybe that's why so many of the Samsung b-drive model Xbox from back in the day had been opened previously either to repair that or remove it. So that honestly could very well be the answer as to why for many years most of the b-drive Xboxes appeared to be tampered with.

    • @TheAkashicTraveller
      @TheAkashicTraveller 3 года назад +9

      Yeah anyonw who knows about that and has one of those xboxes probably had it fixed.

  • @MiotaLee
    @MiotaLee 2 года назад +1

    I'm finding this hilariously hard to take seriously and I love it. Thanks, you cured my depression.

  • @cr4zyw3ld3r
    @cr4zyw3ld3r 3 года назад +1

    Grimy af I love it! Also incredible findings about drive speeds!

  • @RedEyedCowboy
    @RedEyedCowboy 3 года назад +291

    "lick them and use a pillowcase"
    *Microfiber cloth has left the chatroom*

    • @notgray88
      @notgray88 3 года назад

      bro i did the same thing when i was like 12 i didn't know microfiber cloth was a thing

  • @Season411
    @Season411 3 года назад +352

    Lmao that’s great. I just checked my Xbox and by sheer coincidence, it has a Samsung drive and a manufacturing date of July 2003.

  • @LenWins
    @LenWins 3 года назад +1

    hilarious. Nice job finding this out. It's so abstract.

  • @Mi_mcmuffin
    @Mi_mcmuffin 2 года назад

    Never thought a speedrun tactic would make me gag but here we are

  • @stupid13375p34k3r
    @stupid13375p34k3r 3 года назад +210

    As an electrical engineer, the phrase "capacitates time" is not one I've heard before but definitely one I'll be using from now on lmao

  • @logasoba
    @logasoba 3 года назад +420

    dude we are going to run out of useable bfbb discs

    • @bluegum6438
      @bluegum6438 3 года назад +74

      @@gizmoduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu2773 over time the acids in skin oils and especially ketchup will definitely degrade the disc

    • @illdeletethismusic
      @illdeletethismusic 3 года назад +1

      so we need to burn more

    • @Tactix_se
      @Tactix_se 3 года назад +25

      @@bluegum6438 Bruh do you actually think he put a disc with ketchup in his console

    • @myyriad778
      @myyriad778 3 года назад

      @@Tactix_se lol

    • @suparockr
      @suparockr 3 года назад +26

      @@Tactix_se I don't know what to believe anymore after watching this

  • @richardrodrigues4960
    @richardrodrigues4960 3 года назад +3

    Not into speedrun
    but still freaking enjoyable, thanks for the content!

  • @wyle2614
    @wyle2614 2 года назад +1

    Nice research.
    It's crazy and tragic how hardware dependent some speedruns can be!

  • @illustriouschin
    @illustriouschin 3 года назад +323

    This is precisely like that scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey when the monkey smashed the bones.

    • @MXOY99
      @MXOY99 3 года назад +7

      Beautiful.

  • @IMVADER2
    @IMVADER2 3 года назад +127

    There's no way this is a BfBB exclusive trick then, and that's disgustingly amazing

    • @neoqwerty
      @neoqwerty 3 года назад +4

      Time for every run that needs frame-perfect inputs to test if licking makes it easier. Someone checks their Okami disc for lick-assisted KT hovers!

  • @zeta7614
    @zeta7614 2 года назад +1

    This video was recommended to me, I'm not a speed runner. But it is so weird to learn that having worn down or faulty equipment is considered a legit strategy in speed runs.

  • @PotaraP
    @PotaraP 3 года назад +2

    "If it weren't for swags saliva, we would never have known how much potential time save these new drives could possibly bring to our game."

  • @grapplesauce9939
    @grapplesauce9939 3 года назад +165

    Why didn’t you call it the “Dirty Dan” strat?

    • @SprunkCovers
      @SprunkCovers 3 года назад

      Lmao, it should be the official name

  • @MccDann
    @MccDann 3 года назад +236

    I dead ass don’t know how to respond to what I just watched.

    • @murrfeeling
      @murrfeeling 3 года назад +2

      Well, i'm going to bathe a Gamestop in pure, cleansing napalm flames.

  • @Ice-yp4wg
    @Ice-yp4wg 2 года назад +4

    This is the first time I've ever seen someone utilize lag to their advantage.

  • @Maceyoshiman
    @Maceyoshiman 3 года назад +2

    The speedrunning community's ability to overcome limitations will never cease to amaze me.

  • @edenpark935
    @edenpark935 3 года назад +118

    "If it weren't for swag's saliva."
    This sounds so weird without context

  • @adamslow934
    @adamslow934 3 года назад +138

    I had to DM Four just to make sure this wasn't one giant shitpost, and I'm almost upset that this is real.

  • @tacticalbondsh
    @tacticalbondsh 2 года назад +4

    while i don't really care for speedrunning in general, these stories about the research and hardware stuff is fascinating

  • @frost9681
    @frost9681 3 года назад +5

    Haven't watched the video yet, but I've seen this thumbnail in my suggested so much since yesterday. I was trying to resist but the thumbnail has no business being so good
    Edit: What monster licks their video game discs to CLEAN them!?

  • @SirUntouchable
    @SirUntouchable 3 года назад +93

    I remember when speedrunning was just about playing the game, not licking it.

  • @fredricknoe3114
    @fredricknoe3114 3 года назад +119

    This feels like some sort of April fools prank.

  • @zackd41
    @zackd41 2 года назад

    hey Shift Nice agdq run at 2022, found this video before the 2022 run and got the game because of you and your buddies, and nice vid.