9 Brutal Truths That Men Over 40 Need To Accept (To Live Their Best Lives)
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2024
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Sarah,
You don't happen to like sushi, do you?
Hi Sarah Dawn Moore, and thank you for this video. "There are plenty of women out there, it is just your mindset" It's not just our mindset, there is a population phenomenon that is partially driving this: If I explain it in detail, my reply here will be too long to read for most people. The shortest explanation of this phenomenon that I can say is that for men of a certain age, there literally aren't enough available women of the appropriate age: there was a severe birth decline after the baby boomers but before most of generation X, so from the early 1960s to the early 1970s. When we who were born in those years got to be dating and marriage aged, many of the women our age married the youngest male baby boomers, who were still culturally and socially bound to marry younger women. Only there weren't enough of those younger women at the most common appropriate ages for all of those baby boomer men, so many of those men married women even much younger than in past times. So if you look around today at the surviving married male boomers, you can still see that many of them have very different age gaps between the husbands and wives. One of the effects of this is that for men my age, mid to late 50s, or earliest Gen Xers, there weren't enough age-appropriate women left for us to have relationships or marry if we didn't start right away once out of high school. However, socially and culturally we generally weren't expected or able to start households right away out of high school. So a high portion of us simply didn't and still don't have age-appropriate wives/partners/girlfriends. This is why so many of us seem to be striving for partners that are "too young" for us, and our generation was the first in North America to have a noticeable portion of men marry older women.
Have you read the ingredients in Tiege? I would never put that on my skin.
make-up for men. wow. so all we have to do is....be contrite and ashamed, be emotionally vulnerable but only when it's adorable and doesn't interfere with our earning power, and now....wear foundation.
so glad i found this men's issues channels, and I can't imagine anyone more qualified to come down from whitelady mountain and educate us brutes.
@sarahdawnmoore well, maybe take it from Bill Burr, he makes a funnier case. Skin care for men isn't all snake oil.
At 50, I do not care much about money, my appearance, or about social status anymore. I do not smoke, I very rarely drink, and I don't hangout (or go on dates) with toxic folks of any gender. I explore new hobbies and new friends as they come along. It is the best time in my life. I hope all the other men out there find their way to similar joy.
Yep, there too, dude. 55, single, learning new hobbies, making decisions based on what I find enjoyable, not on what makes me more attractive to women, I have never been happier. First step was learning to be in solitude without experiencing loneliness. That step took a long time -- about three years -- facilitated by COVID, but it was completely worthwhile.
I'm 60.
Retired, live alone on my secluded cattle farm and sometimes go 2 weeks without seeing another soul.
I love it!.
Go to town once, sometimes twice a month and take care of business and run errands.
I hunt, and trap and fish and ride motorcycle and 4 wheeler, and horses,, depending on time of the year.
Everything paid for, 3 bank accounts, new house, peace and serenity and privacy!.
No drama, no Debt, no bullshit, no nagging, life is great!!!.
Mgtow since 2001.
@@damianbiondo812how was the dating scene for you when you were younger. Let’s say 27
@@JavierGutierrezMatias Much, much, much better than it is today. Age 27, in fact, was one of the best years (1995-1996) of my life in terms of dating and women. I was working in Chicago while on deferred admission to law school in DC. and had so much fun. I dated close to 10 different women in about 18 months and was spoiled for choice. There's something about Chicagoans, and Chicago women in particular, that I truly miss. They're mostly Midwesterners, often with a farm somewhere in the background no further than 2 generations, and in comparison to similar cities (New York, San Fran, Houston, etc.), are very friendly and courteous. Now, of course, the city has undergone real challenges with crime, but that's not most of the city.
@@damianbiondo812 thank you for you insight.
Nothing is more depressing as a man than realizing the only reason anyone shows an interest in you is because of what you provide...not who you are.
This is especially true with women.
So true.
This person has a fully functioning brain.
Yea, unfortunately I think the same way. The first question is what do you do for a living… I tell them I work
@@Pedsonc01 does she?
@@shadowgod7523 lol, ikr, not all, but the 1's that do, well ya know..lol
1 .- no alcohol
2.-no workaholism
3.-take care of your body
4.-forgive and accept your past. Contrition
5.-male brotherhood
6.-attachment wounds and relation attachment
7.-get out of confortzone
8.-let go of people boundaries n limits
9.- what you want of a woman
Thank you for the short summary! It saved me a lot of time.
Someone, somewhere omitted: If you're annoyed by this video, good on you! This ...... whomever or whatever she thinks she is, doesn't make her a man life expert. Where are her credentials? Why doesn't she place her credentials in her bookcase for her viewers to see? As for contrition, I offer my contrition to the Holy Trinity every week. I'm 74 years old and have experienced many types of friendships throughout the years. Some of my friendships were great, some were good and still others weren't worth the time and energy I put into them.
@Pedsonc01 kind of old to be commenting on RUclips videos.
Add: 9.- No video games
10.- No “nerdy stuff” like reading books, collecting of any kind like comic books action figures, no movie follower or enthusiast, no Gymbro , no men hobbies.
"Don't work too much".. for 15 years, while paying child support, it was either work too much or go to prison. Like hundreds of thousands of other fathers in the past 50 years. Yea, men need to know THAT can happen.
It seems women want the truth until you provide it. Equality to them means changing the things they view as disadvantageous while simultaneously retaining those overwhelmingly to their advantage. This is the foundational thinking of illogic and hypocrisy.
I've taken to (not completely tongue in cheek) telling 20 to 30-something men: don't marry one of them, don't get any of them pregnant. Wear 2 condoms...
Paternity test?
When I got divorced I was shattered, alcohol was an escape which cost me two jobs and a lot of friends till I realized it was self destructive behavior, so I quit drinking.
Great to hear you managed to stop, all the best to you!
It happens to a WHOLE LOT of divorced men.
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life , but to no avail, I’m frustrated , I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her .
Parting ways with someone you deeply cherish is an agonizing experience. I understand firsthand, having encountered a parallel situation at the end of my 7 year relationship. Driven by an unyielding determination, I explored every avenue to salvage our bond. Seeking guidance from a spiritual counselor proved pivotal, as their intervention played a crucial role in rekindling our love.
That's fascinating! How did you come across a spiritual counselor, and what's the best way for me to contact her?
Meet Suzanne Ann Walters, an outstanding spiritual counselor with the power to restore your relationship with your ex
I'm grateful for this valuable information; I've just taken a moment to find her online. Very impressive!
Love and limerence feel the same to you, but are different by definition. Once you know the difference you’ll know where you are and that’s a good starting place. Been (are) there.
1. Alcohol
2. Hiding behind work and resources.
3. Take care of your skin and body.
commercial- skincare routine
4. Forgiveness and acceptance of your past and how you contributed. Contrition.
5 Finding Male Brotherhood. Finding male friends you can bond with.
6 Learn about your attachment wounds or your relationship patterns.
7 Get out of your comfort zone- It's what builds self-esteem.
8 boundaries limits. Learning to let go of relationships that don't work anymore.
9 Stop falling for blonde Bimbos and yoga pants and start dating based on experience. How does a woman make you feel? Shared Values, etc...
Let me know if I screwed anything up
Sounds pretty good
N on point.
A woman can just switch up to
Suit her ✌️
Thanks for the table of contents
thank you
AGREE 100% on everything except, I'd like some blonde bimbos in yoga pants
Thank you for this!
Woman giving men advice is kinda ironic. Like they know what we go through.. truth is nobody gives a fuck about us
bingo, woman should not be giving anyone advise especially about men , m.g.t.o.w
"Nobody loves me but my mama, and she might be jivin' too!" --B.B. King
True. And worse men are not even on their radar.
This comment, being truthful, is the reason you won’t get a love sticker applied 😂😂😂😂
My man! Can this get a pin?
I'm 66yo. I don't drink, don't smoke and don't date. I'm my own best friend and I'm perfectly content in my drama free world.😎
You sound just like me. I'm loving it too!
It's better to eat lots of dates.
Sounds like the Minor Threat (punk band) "Out Of Step" song.
❤
i dont date either, so not worth it, the odd joint or beer,
m.g.t.o.w
The bottom line : Drama free !!!
I'm 46yo and I quit drinking 10yrs ago. It was the best decision I ever made for myself and my family.
Good for you - I managed two weeks :)
Good job, brother
@@jankowalski6691😂your as bad as me
Be careful,I had 9 years & 5 months sobriety.Went back to drinking because I never dealt with the real issues.AA only gives you a chance,it"s not alway"s the answer.-Yup-bring it.
46 here too. I’ve been sober since 3/3/23. Don’t miss it. Life is better sober
I thought I was building her an impenetrable castle, but realized I built myself an inescapable prison. Work is my only relief.
I concur fully. Same here. Best wishes to you
I hear you on this. Life is so short...just don't forget that.
Philh, you put into words that which I could not.
Stay strong, friend.
Thank you
if you happen to have a partner that is always argumenative, I can understand why.
You have identified the issue, now you need to do something about it.
Why should we not care about work over everything else? I go to work, I get paid. It's pretty straight forward. It's reasonably reciprocal. Relationships are fickle and women are untrustworthy. People, and especially women towards men, just want something out of you. You've heard it many times that we're loved by what we provide. Why should I care about something like that?
Indeed, there are no guarantees when it comes to relations with women, aside from costs and drama. I do not trust women implicitly, and never will.
That's fine, but consider how your life will change when you stop working.
May I weigh in on your logic?
The bible weighs in:
Ecclesiastes 12:5
[5]Also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:
2 Corinthians 4:14-18
[14]Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.
[15]For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
[16]For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
[17]For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
[18]While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Matthew 6:19-21,24-34
[19]Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
[20]But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
[21]For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
[24]No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
[25]Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
[26]Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
[27]Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
[28]And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
[29]And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
[30]Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
[31]Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
[32](For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
[33]But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
[34]Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Summarizing, being productive in this life is necessary to provide for those things that are necessary... food, clothing, shelter, etc. Money only has value while we are in our natural body:
1 Corinthians 15:42-50
[42]So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
[43]It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power:
[44]It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
[45]And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.
[46]Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual.
[47]The first man is of the earth, earthy: the second man is the Lord from heaven.
[48]As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly.
[49]And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly.
[50]Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption.
After our last breath on earth in our natural body, we inherit a spiritual body and are assigned to our long home: either heaven or hell where money has no value without regard to the position, power or social status which which which was enjoyed on earth.
So, you are correct about women... they will come and go throughout your life but what is really important is where you will spend eternity after your last breath on earth. That is totality within your God given free will. I hope you would consider your spiritual life to come and choose heaven by asking the Lord Jesus into your heart while you are able to make that decision for in this life only are we able to choose.
Romans 10:9-10,13
[9]That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
[10]For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
[13]For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
What will your decision be for where you will spend eternity?
Even so, come, Lord Jesus
Rev 22:20 KJV
You've figured it out. I agree with you.
@@visaman When you stop working it's wonderful. You enjoy going places and doing other things.
I can relate to "don't wait until it's too late".
I was a senior scientist working for a Fortune 500 engineering firm. In October 2022 I had a stroke at 57 which left me with 20% mobility in my right leg, 0% in my right arm, and effectively I couldn't talk. After 8 days in ICU, 5 weeks of rehab, a further 5 weeks in an immediate care facility and a whole lot of grueling work within a few months I regained ~90% of my mobility. But I have Aphasia which limits my communication ability, short term memory loss, and I have difficulty reading. I was shocked to see the that 1/6th of my brain is literally missing on the CAT scan.
I'm so thankful during the stroke I was in a public space and received care within minutes. Otherwise the outcome could have been much worse.
10 years ago my right kidney had to be removed because of Cancer. This may sound very cliche but when i walked out of hospital? The world looked alot different. I had clarity on what truly mattered in life. After two failed marriages, i made a plan. Pay off all debt, save and suffer for a few years, retire at 59 so i could live while physically able. Dont drink, smoke or date and have zero interest in that. I am in shape, living a free and beautiful life, traveling and doing all the things i love. You nailed it about discovering who you are. The only way one can't do this is without distraction and clutter. Lose the chaos, live your best life 🙏
*a lot is two words. Lot begins with an L, not an A.
Sounds like you are living in peace! I honor you for that.
@@regharvey1771 yea, gee, my editor was off duty on this day. 👌
All good stuff. Women must be drawn to you constantly.
Thank you. Go live your best life, don't procrastinate. Tomorrow is never promised to anyone.
Men! The best relationship you can have is with yourself. Then and only then you can have good relationship’s with others that want you in their lives. Do not let others pull you down! A woman is a luxury not a necessity! She is an emotional being and thrives on an emotional roller coaster. Men and women aren’t meant to be as one! We are meant to be! Stay true to you, as a man and don’t take that ride with them. Be there for the woman you’re with but stay off the ride! Wait at the end of the ride for her, that is really where she expects you and respects you at! Be up when she is up, be up when she is down, the only place to do that is both feet firmly on the ground! You can’t fix what isn’t broken but seems to be. Just be what you are men, Practical, focused and true to you! How do you fix what’s meant to be broken? How do you fix what’s meant to be?
Thank you for the wise words @johnm2579
Be careful of "if you do X, you'll get Y" kinds of thinking.
While the work thing is certainly good advice as far as it goes, an awful lot of men MUST work long hard hours to support their family.
Yeah, I hate how much I need to work because it’s time spent away from my kids but at the same time I want to retire eventually and I’m working not for myself but for my kids. If I can leave them a nice inheritance then I will die happily
I've never worked a job that didn't require 50-65 hours/week.
Yeah... we're best up if we work to provide/protect, then for "not being home and listening.
OR merely to live indoors in Biden's Amerika.
Worst part is if you marry a spender. Then you’re on a hamster wheel, just working more so she can come home with more shopping bags.
I am 67 years young! Excellent health, wealth, & attitude. Plenty of good friends, outside activities etc. Nothing new w Sara’s 9 points & I concur w them all. What’s not addressed is how difficult it is to find a woman who brings something to the relationship. Not just physical intimacy, although that’s still important, but most women my age are definitely have their own baggage, drama, and other issues ruins any chance for a committedpartnership. Where are they?
I am 50 and I have abandoned everything. Isolation is both painful but soothing.
1 | 0:40 Alcohol consumption
2 | 1:35 Hide behind work
3 | 2:50 Take care of your health and skin
4 | 5:35 Forgiveness and acceptance of your past and take full responsibility for mistakes ("contrition")
5 | 6:40 Find male brotherhood
6 | 7:30 Learn about your attachment wounds and/or relationship patterns
7 | 8:25 Get out of your comfort zone
8 | 9:20 Boundaries/limits (or learn to let go of people that bring you down)
9 | 10:55 Stop falling for bimbos and yoga pants, start dating based on the experience you want (how she makes you feel)
Watch the entire video!
No matter how many times you call yourself a "male advocate" you can only see things from a female point of view. I'm with you when it comes to drinking, I stop drinking fifteen years ago and this year I will be celebrating my sixtieth birthday. If I had not stopped I think my circumstances would have been completely different.
We don't use our jobs or carriers to "hide", we make the mistake of thinking that our jobs or carriers define us, and that is because we would not have anything else without that. If the guy you are with had told you he was unemployed when you first met him, you can not tell me that it would not have made any difference. If you do; you are lying.
We are not women!!! We are brought up a certain way. If we are lucky enough to grow up with brothers we play certain games and in certain ways. You can't "CURE" us from that. I am a veteran, I don't know if you understand what kind of bond we can form with other men, not all but with some we can become closer then brothers. I've never heard "Eagles! fly with eagles!" is that the same as "Queens fly with queens"? I don't know what those words mean to you. To me it mean that shallow pretentious people hand with shallow pretentious people. If you are ready to dump people just because they don't follow your views or "values" you don't have friendships.
very well said, woman do not understand men, they think they do, this is why the rise of m.g.t.o.w is so popular , this did not develop overnight
The hard part is finding a woman who is attractive, but also isn’t a drain/toxic. It is harder and harder all the time. Sorry, not sorry, but someone could be a sweetest can be, but if you can’t look at them…
So true. Most women in the same age range are just horrible. They bring nothing to the table. They complain about men, but most think hitting a button on a machine to do laundry is exhausting
Maybe find a less attractive woman?
Simple. Move to S.E.A
One guy above a few comments before yours said that at 50, he no longer cares about his looks. And see, that's the problem.....if men of a certain age expect their women to be attractive, then they should try to keep themselves the same. That's not a fair deal when a man thinks it's ok to let himself go, and yet expect the opposite of a women.
@@peachydandy2570 Allow me to retort … the Man said he did not work on appearance because he was content by himself , he’s not looking for a relationship with a woman … he wants a DRAMA free life. It ‘s generally accepted that women want 6’ athletes with six figure incomes. BTW it usually the self proclaimed “Queen ” 5’2” wide bodies with drama addiction that are delusional.
I built the show. I run the show. I need to change NOTHING. Get on board or go away. This ship sails with or without you.
Stopped drinking and smoking weed about a year ago. Best decision of my life.
Yeah, as soon as I heard the commercial, that was enough for me. She seems to forget that we men are waking up. If women don’t like our “ roughness“, we don’t care anymore. She is, more and more, just telling men how they need to change.
You noticed that too huh?
She used to be in the Mano sphere pulling for men. Then she changed and it seems went more leftist didn't want her channel canceled by the left that eats itself. Most people now lean right. They want t rump not Harriss. Maybe she wasn't courageous enough needed long term money from RUclips. I'm not judging her. I love her singing vocals and I'm a huge fan. She does care about men. Perhaps she believes in female led relationships like a lot of women these days. A woman can only be a woman. I have found better channels whom are very openly honest. I see her channel much less.
@@marcalampi5036doing an infomercial for a skin cream product is now considered "leftist?" 😂
So using moisturizer is telling you to give up your man hood? lol I would hate to think that a male ego is that fragile. Women take care of certain things to please a man, that's just how we are built.
It’s a fine line between being confident enough to own your own thoughts and opinions and being painfully honest, to then just giving up and making zero effort to care about anyone, being dirty and brash and an insensitive and rude brute.
Listen girl, we do not give a f**k for toxic women and drama anymore. Don't drink, don't smoke, no drugs, 53yrs old happy and free.
we work because women judge us so harshly by the income we make and their hypergamy
Amen
Judging harshly? Maybe those women are out of your league?
@@visaman you sound like you know a thing or two on the subject, slugger.
Well said!
@@visaman Explain how someone who demands and needs a provider is out of anyone's league.
"Where were you all those years?" .... that's the reason I didn't go into medicine like my dad. He was never home when I was a kid. Yes, we had money, but I didn't have my dad.
easy to say that you have responsibility for staying in a toxic relationship and should have left. considering how men are Divorced Graped in this country financially and relationally with their kids, it's not an easy choice...
I'm 73, never married, no kids. This is good advice, I've been following all of it most of my adult life, except the part of finding a woman. It's a bit late now in the 11th hour, but I'm content. You can play it safe, that's good, but to quote Kazantzakis(sp?) "Life is trouble, only death is not." Or to quote my brother, "some people are in life's parade and some people watch."
Suggestion: a video of the brutal truths women need to acknowledge. I’m hearing a lot about men’s inadequacies.
first brutal truth: skin performs a critical function on men who work for a living. there is a reason it is the way it is. it keeps the hydraulic fluid from leaking out.
It doesn't matter what women need to acknowledge. You're not a woman. You can't change them. All you can do is bring your best self to the table and change what you can change with yourself. The most painful changes are typically where the most growth occurs. If you want to know what you should work on, ask your wife, mom kids. They'll tell you.
@@baigish100 and what men are changing is refusing to put up with women's ridiculous demands.
They won't watch anything about accountability.
@@bobbye7353 as evidenced by the fact that my posts about accountability have disappeared.
There’s one other thing that needs to be said
These financial managers are for people that do not communicate
Everything these people trying to teach you I pretty much taught myself many years ago
Comes down to common sense I guess it’s not so common
Save from the rainy day
Have a nest egg put-money the bank
All of the things that he’s talking about a are pretty much are inherited thoughts
These people in chaotic finance were pretty much raised in chaotic families
At 69 I am retired and am not looking for a life companion. Every woman that I have met just wants what I have in what I can provide for them. Been there done that I will never go there again.
Sarah, thanks for your video. It helped reaffirm the conclusions I've come to on my own at this stage in life!
Thank you so much. Recently I broke up with my girlfriend, and now 6 months later-I am in a new place, being uncomfortable and its the best thing I've done in years. I wont settle now. Thank you for the words of wisdom!
This video was one long ad for Tiege Hanley. Since I already have an unkissable face am a widower & live alone, I guess I’ll just save my money.
Infomercial
They are all grifters. Worst is the slapper with the long dark hair
44 and the only thing I'm focusing on right now is to get retire in the next 2 years.. it's getting hard everyday now but I can't give up, and im getting retiring out of the states..
I 'retired ' at 68 having worked for myself over 25 years. I still do paid work up to 10 hours a week. The thought of not working is not on my radar. I still work for myself. At 70 I don't see me stopping any time soon. Retirement is still a very long time!
@kerryfoster1 that's great sir. Yes I'm still going to keep working for myself like a hobby, but definitely I'm getting out of the system big part of it..
40,single, solitary and celibate. I don't have the time or patience for people and their nonsense (especially women in today's screwed up world)
In general, most don't understand where I'm coming from with this but piece is the only thing I care about.
I would add retire as soon as possible. I'm not saying retire as soon as you can because you're hit a certain age, I mean as soon as you can afford it. Many people put it off waiting until their pension, ss, etc will max out. Often, by that time, they are having health and mobility issues. At that point retirement sucks.
Plan early, and by that, I mean NOW. It's only getting later.
Decent points, but I do not find these brutal. They're just common sense.
Yeah, excactly my thoughts. Clickbait to promote that care skin products.
@@marcom2248 exactly 👍🏽… one name Kevin Samuel (RIP) if you want real tips listen to his content. If you want to hear how to be a successful man listen to a successful man .
I agree about taking care of your skin, very important! One other thing that older men, and women for that matter is to help feel and look younger is to take care of your teeth, and overall oral health! A beautiful smile can’t be beat! You are a great example of this Sarah!
My health improved greatly from the following.
Gave up smoking. Only did it for about 8 years. It gave more relaxation when not nicotine fueled.
Gave up drinking alcohol. Greater ability to focus. Wake up with clarity.
Exercise. A difficult one. Have a very active life and am disabled so physical activity for its own sake isn't productive.
Relationships. Every problem encountered with women can dissappear by not having one. Going to lunch with men friends,often, is a good way to stay grounded. A dinner date once a year with a woman friend who lives 1500 miles away keeps any sentimental feelings from creeping into my celebate life.
Work is physically and mentally challenging.
Meditation and introspection bring peace.
I watched a video today about a woman being sad that her husband was going off to work
And that she was lonely
Think it’s important that a woman finds her own wife
Something that makes her happy
Her husband’s responsibility to make her happy relationship and her happiness she has to find on her own
She has to find a life that makes her want to get up its not her husband‘s job
This is the biggest problem we have in a relationship. Your wife has to find her life outside of marriage.
It’s not the husbands job to make her happy that her responsibility
I've told my children for years, "You can either be a superstar company man or celebrity, or you can be a great husband/dad, but you simply cannot do both". There aren't enough hours in the day. You have to choose. And if you choose status over being a good husband/dad, one day you will live out your life in regret for making that choice.
I totally agree. I was working as an IT project manager in the pharmaceutical industry. I was putting in 60-80 hours a wee under high stress. I was on top of my game, but when I realized I never saw my daughters and didn’t have time to spend with them on weekends I knew I had to change. I focus my time on being a dad and a husband more than a project manager nowadays and am much happier.
The eagle 🦅 has landed! Pro tip not everyone has an attachment style from childhood alone often we develop them in relationships too occasionally.
60 and new to dating...loving how I have to come up agaist my self limiting beliefs to approach, meet and date! It's mor ethan about meeting a woman..it;s about living teh best version of myself. As humans, we come from community and need one another. Stay big and keep connecting...men, women oldand young. Small talk connects us..
Glad you spoke about work and careers defining us. Watched my dad work his butt off his whole life and now he cant enjoy his golden years. Just took a covid buyout couple years ago and love it!! At first it was like my identity had been taken away after 22 years in mgnt. So many women rate us males by our careers and instincts tell us to push higher and work harder. Relax and enjoy!
More brutal truths…once you are divorced you have to work two full time jobs and you’re not appealing to women because you have no time or money to spend with or on them.
So stay in shape and in good health for the relationships that matter- your children.
While I wholeheartedly agree about work/life balance, sometimes men do need to put in long hours to make ends meet, especially in our current economy and even more so if only on one income!
as an older dude I say why limit this advice to men? Sounds pretty universal to me.
"... how does someone makes you feel." Wise words. Thank you.
When you want to rescue her and provide her with what she needs. That's a hard lesson to learn for men. The reality often is that you are doing this to satisfy your own needs instead (the need to feel wanted and loved) and you take the crumbs she gives back in return. It takes a lot of honesty with yourself to be truthful about why you behave the way you behave in a relationship.
Great video Sarah 😊
Me being not even close to 40ish, but with that said.
I think the 9 brutal truths should start sooner..
At 30, or at least 35 relationships are brutal out there.. The sooner the better.. Well, that's my opinion..
Good suggestions now at 50 based on the experience I made and most importantly the reflections I did on them. I do all you say and I love every second of my life. So guys learn to reflect on everything you go through and the positive action. You will not regret it.
It’s so damn hard to find male friends in your 50s. I appreciate the suggestions!
Guys at church are pretty awesome. They aren’t pushy or over-bearing, but they are available when I need them. It’s a good thing.
One major problem is that so many are demoralized (don't have the energy to care)... distracted... directionless... or addicted. Many people need to disconnected and heal.
Over time I realized that I prefer work and company of my cat and dog. This is from someone who used to like being around people.
I was dumped because I was slightly overweight, somewhat needy and “ugly”, yes I’m not perfect, but that reflects more on that person and their issues and them projecting their insecurities on to me. Why waste someone’s time and connection only to throw it out? avoid dismissive avoidants with daddy issues.
Well if you’re over weight, needy, and ugly then those are pretty good reasons why not to fall in love with someone.
I don't think there is anything wrong or unhealthy about moderate consumption of alcohol. This means an occasional beer (not more than one at a sitting) or a glass of wine with dinner. I generally have a beer once a week or every two weeks. I don't think this has hurt me in any way.
Looks like I’m already doing most of these things, if not all of them to some level. Recent health scare has me sober for almost two months, and unfortunately has put a temporary hold on building muscle though I’m losing weight, that will come back by the end of the year. Everything else are things I’ve discovered within the last two years thanks to an incredible support system. Thank you for this video, it confirms I’m on my path!
Sarah. That was one of your best videos imo. Ty
I'm 58 and divorced. I workout and eat pretty healthy. I don't worry about impressing anyone anymore and just do my own thing.
Everything in moderation
At 63 , I drink to help me to motivate past the dearth of my wife and my child moving out and moving on with little communication.
The house is empty , no energy .
A home should have "Living Energy " of a happy family and Children / Grandchildren laughing and playing.
Without that it is basically a Tomb.
So , alcohol helps me to move on and escape my misery from day to day.
Until the grim Reaper comes to visit.
Dating at my age is either going and surfing nursing homes or cemeteries.
I thank my father God because i don't drink school or smoke i stay away from drugs all those are bad Habits
all the things you've missed out on.....;-)
Good advice. The only thing I would add is to learn about stoicism and stoic philosophy.
Age 51, what is said here amounts to a lot of good.
Worry does nothing to help.... kick back every now and then.... drink little, eat good... get out in the sun often....
What ever happened to, "join forces", and,"take care of each other?"
Yeah .. exactly… all I hear her say is me .. what do I get …don’t settle …I get jaded as I find woman don’t compromise ..and you tend to get scraps and crumbs….i wish I could find someone to share my considerable wealth …who accepts I’m not perfect.
@@Sean-gu3tq Hold out for the best, sir, if I may...
Sarah's advice & comments are confronting for a lot of guys it's true. The fact is its good advice on how to shape your life. I'm 60. On holiday I met a beautiful Russian chick my own age. I need to work on my weight. I don't drink or smoke and yes, I pay a lot more attention to my skin routine on my face. It's definitely a challenge facing the change of life moving on from work and money being too much focus. It really is not the be all of life.
That was very soulful. Your best video yet from all I've seen. RIP to dad.
Surround yourself with a group of male friends.
Distance yourself from people that don't elevate you.
That is a pretty small Ven diagram.
Ok, the video is sponsored by a skincare company 😅😅😅😅
This said, I agree, we man must learn to take care of ourself, because nobody else will do. The best you can do for yourself is to get a much younger gf and start a project with her. Can be a house, a boat, travel projects. Your family will hate you, but you will have a good time 😅
You understand men on a deep level. I relate to everything you say - you may be the only woman I follow who is able to say things about me even more than I am fully aware of myself and yet you nail it each time. I am sure the wisdom you have gained from your mentors help but I can tell you truly do love masculinity, in all its expressions from young to old, which is rare to find these days even with men. Men run this obstacle course to find their self worth and never reach their goal - you help them to find it right now to see the beauty in us being a male. I'm certain you have saved a man, if not a few, from committing suicide. You are doing the Lord's work and I thank you.
We are designed for work. If we have no work we are told we are worthless. True story
THIS.....this was an excellent session. My gut taught me all I have done. All this advice (skin, work, alcohol ,forgive, divorce a bad situation, etc.) Quick note on work...retired at 45 to enjoy life more after accident at work (FF/Medic in AZ) less $ but doing what ever I want. Funny enough..it all worked out. Even survived a motorcycle accident that I benefited from...that's rare i assure you. Again, sincerely, great session Sarah, thank you P.S. yes, take risks....calculated risks
I'm 48, and in regards to alcohol, I too was never an addict, but I have hit a point where it just doesn't fit into my life anymore. I don't drink at home or by myself as I don't feel the need to numb my emotions with alcohol. Also, in recent years when I do go out, I see many of my friends in their 40's and 50's trying to drink the same way they did when they were in their 20's and it just seems sad to me. Now I only ever drink if I am out with a particular group of friends or at certain events. I also don't feel compelled to go out as much anymore. It's ok for me to just chill at home if I want.
My male friends stabbed me in the back. No thanks.
By definition, those weren't friends.
@@mikey92362 By that definition, are people who only stay around until old age and death takes them away, actually friends? What's the qualification? Good people turn bad, does that make you a fool for being with good people? Also, who besides God has perfect wisdom about everyone you hook up with, even if temporal?
@@exothermal.sprocket He said they stabbed him in the back.
He didn't say anything about staying around. Friends come and go.
Don't put words in my mouth.
@@mikey92362 I'm going on the words YOU USED.
"weren't friends" is past tense, indicating the possibility they were NEVER friends. Hence my reasoning, asking questions. I ask questions to inquire clarity, not to imply someone is being a donkey.
FWIW: I stopped drinking alcohol during or before 2016 due to medications I was or am taking.
Although I did smoke cigars briefly, I never smoked ANYTHING ELSE that required inhalation. Both of my parents actually quit smoking because of me. I guess when they had to choose between giving up cigarettes or giving up me, giving up cigarettes was easier...🤭
*GREAT VIDEO, SARAH...👍*
I really trust this creator, sorta like an older sister. I never drink. I work hard. I have interests outside work.
I'm not going to say that you're wrong...I'm just going to say that from MY perspective and MY situation...this doesn't scratch the surface of what I as a man goes through; from the all-encompassing soul-sucking, toxically stressful career that I would love to abandon if it didn't mean obliterating my family and the lifestyle they're accustomed to...(read...not in the ghetto), or avoiding the alcohol to deal with all of it, along with all of the family complications that I'm not willing to divulge on public social media...I get that you're trying to help, but you're not a man, and certainly not a man in complex familial situations....
5:33 #4 STOP the video at this point and journal for 10 min to an hour and really work this out. I'd say this is probably the biggest factor in actually achieving success in your future
To your 2nd point, I really relate to this in a different way though. I'm single and no kids. For the last 25 years, my life revolved around work, running, and taking care of my parents as they aged. The parents have now passed away, one in 2022 and the other in 2023. Since then, I've been trying to find purpose...something to fill that hole. And I'll be honest, I still haven't. At my age, I can't run enough to fill that hole, and work, while good, isn't something I want to put more time into. I really don't know how to fill that hole.
My best friend died at 38 from liver failure.
It's very fortunate to be self-aware and be knowledgeable with understanding all these things that you have discussed today but thank you for sharing with everyone who is not
Some of us have to honor our commitments and don't have the luxury of living our best lives. We've been hero complexed and our morality hijacked.
Love your videos. I retired at 50 yrs old and outside of work I am a father and I enjoy travel traveling. Good point!!! Been retired 2 years.
46 years old and I almost never drink. Best way of living TBH
What does she know about men? I started with…
But this was solid! Do something outside your comfort zone excites me. And boundaries are true. Especially with consideration of female relationships.
She controls the sex but you control the relationship. A clear self understanding of pace and boundaries is vital to peace. No doubt in my 20’s 30’s I leaned into the sex; making sacrifices that cost calm and joy.
I’ll limit and discard quickly now.
lol. The lead up to the skincare line is “SO subtle.” We clueless men never saw that coming. 😂
Hi Sarah Dawn Moore, and thank you for this video. "There are plenty of women out there, it is just your mindset" It's not just our mindset, there is a population phenomenon that is partially driving this: If I explain it in detail, my reply here will be too long to read for most people. The shortest explanation of this phenomenon that I can say is that for men of a certain age, there literally aren't enough available women of the appropriate age: there was a severe birth decline after the baby boomers but before most of generation X, so from the early 1960s to the early 1970s. When we who were born in those years got to be dating and marriage aged, many of the women our age married the youngest male baby boomers, who were still culturally and socially bound to marry younger women. Only there weren't enough of those younger women at the most common appropriate ages for all of those baby boomer men, so many of those men married women even much younger than in past times. So if you look around today at the surviving married male boomers, you can still see that many of them have very different age gaps between the husbands and wives. One of the effects of this is that for men my age, mid to late 50s, or earliest Gen Xers, there weren't enough age-appropriate women left for us to have relationships or marry if we didn't start right away once out of high school. However, socially and culturally we generally weren't expected or able to start households right away out of high school. So a high portion of us simply didn't and still don't have age-appropriate wives/partners/girlfriends. This is why so many of us seem to be striving for partners that are "too young" for us, and our generation was the first in North America to have a noticeable portion of men marry older women.
One of the most profound observations I’ve read on the topic. I’m 56 Australian and it’s so true …I have seen this first hand. And interesting there is now a trend where they are windowed (guess what ladies ..men statistically die longer) . And now they bemoan men want younger (more beauty/less baggage)…but the irony of history repeating is lost on them!!!
Great question about friendship: Do we value the same things?
Men need to focus on eternity and what it means to be a saint. The inconvenient truth is, that is what you were built for. Nothing is more brutal than hell forever.
I drink rarely , do not smoke, I exercise and eat well. I love my career. I am getting more knowledgeable about investing all of the time. I do not plan on 'retiring" although I am close to the age where men usually do. When I invest in my work/career, I see the benefits, financial and emotional. I do not think relationships with women are a good investment anymore. If any woman disagrees with me then you are welcome to put forth the financial and emotional responsibility, toward dating, that men have (i.e., approaching, asking, and paying) that men have for years.
Those yoga pants get us every time.
The less you care about money the fewer relationships you’ll have with the ladies. Self worth is the decorations she adorns herself with
CONGRATS on 500,000 subscribers Sarah!!! I was watching this video & saw it happen before my very eyes @ 8:09 am Mountain Time! 😀 💪 🎉
Perfectly happy and healthy just enjoy the outdoors and spending time talking with God from time to time. Absolutely don’t need any drama or bs from women who really don’t want us or need us to begin with and only want us for what we can provide and then they move on to to next guy and do the same. No thank you
I'm 58 and idgaf what ppl think about me, and don't care about sex anymore...
Let me see the 9 things staded. Just answers from me:
1]do not drink alcohol
2]Have many interests to enjoy outside of work.
3]yearly dermatologist visits
4] tough one. It keeps on reoccurring even though I do not look for it.
5]anotherctough one. Do a lot of things solo.
6]See #4
7]is learning Argentine Tango Dancing challenging enough despite coordination and limited mechanics within myself.
8]learning them
9] ah, come on Sarah. Can't a guy fantasize?