online dating for the first time during quarantine (I tried Hinge + what I learned)

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  • Опубликовано: 30 окт 2024

Комментарии • 194

  • @BRBallin1
    @BRBallin1 3 года назад +81

    What I hate is how I am expected to be passionate and express a lot of interest in someone yet be completely ok with them ghosting me and feeling emotionally detached from that

  • @meralk28
    @meralk28 3 года назад +52

    I have been ghosted while online dating. At first I used to take it very personal then I realised I took it very seriously due to my insecurities. Ghosting will happen to most of us,but whatever happens don't listen your self critic. Just think you are an amazing person and when you find the right person,you will understand why others didn't work out xx

  • @ellaa141
    @ellaa141 4 года назад +32

    Loved this perspective... I always have trouble realizing the 1/100... and i get so down on myself... just gotta step back and realize you dont know who they are and stop thinking 100 steps ahead!

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад +4

      Yesss! Haha we all get down on ourselves and so you’re not alone 😊. Good luck on your dating journey ! Better days to come.

  • @hollyvuong1464
    @hollyvuong1464 4 года назад +104

    I was talking to a guy for 5 days and then he ghosted me. :( As a first timer with online dating, your advice has really helped me get over him. I would love to hear more from you! Thank you! *subscribed!*

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад +23

      I hate being ghosted 🙁. Yes, def not worth it if they do. Thank you for your support!

    • @thunderrunner666
      @thunderrunner666 4 года назад +2

      sorry this happened, ghosting isn't cool

    • @katrin6388
      @katrin6388 4 года назад +23

      he noticed you two werent compatible and did the coward move. dont feel bad about it...next time, dont get attached too soon (especially not through text) and talk to 2 or 3 guys at once!

    • @nolanstutelberg3900
      @nolanstutelberg3900 4 года назад +12

      @@katrin6388 to be honest, with online dating if you are talking to a lot of people at once, and decide to focus on one person or a few people, you just naturally stop responding to the others. The problem is when one person has a ton of options and the other person is super focused on the other person. Definitely talk to a few people at once and don't get too stuck on one person until you meet up or go on a date with them IRL

    • @TopVillain
      @TopVillain 3 года назад +1

      Lol most people on dating apps have gf/bf and they just looking for a quick hook up and they just trying to feel you out. If you bring up topics about the future or marriage or relationships you can scare them away. And everyone is chatting with multiple people no attachment

  • @adaliavasquez6552
    @adaliavasquez6552 3 года назад +117

    I just feel weird about dating online. It feels as though you are shopping for a spouse. I feel that meeting people in person is much easier, since you get to know the whole person and not just their profile picture/texts. I've also had some somewhat unpleasant experiences on christian dating sites. I'm praying that God will bring the right man in person and I continue to put myself out there and seek first the Kingdom of God.

    • @chelsy356
      @chelsy356 3 года назад

      Amen Adalia

    • @7heLoveofGod
      @7heLoveofGod 2 года назад

      Thank you. I needed to hear this🤗

    • @etagged
      @etagged Год назад

      So you’re saying that it’s better for the Almighty Creator to hand you his Divine product, than for you to sort through the Spousal bargain bin in a Walmart. So God is your personal shopper.

  • @vanessaluk3734
    @vanessaluk3734 3 года назад +73

    I feel like online dating has such a stigma to it but how else am I (a certified socially awkward person) gonna meet someone hahaha and honestly, dating apps have helped me a lot in having conversation and getting to know people with different backgrounds and it's super cool! But as someone who gets attached pretty quickly, I also got so many disappointments. Like having an amazing date or even dated someone for two months, thinking they would lead to somewhere good, but they end up not being what you expected is frustrating on so many levels. I guess that's why some people have an on and off relationship with dating apps, cuz it just gets tiring at a point.

  • @jess8248
    @jess8248 4 года назад +111

    your voice is so soothing and you’re so beautiful omg 🥺💞💞

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  3 года назад +5

      aw, thank you

    • @Gastonbutavand
      @Gastonbutavand 3 года назад

      Excellent Video! Excuse me for butting in, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you heard about - Chiveard Having Date Framework (just google it)? It is a good one of a kind product for making any women beg to get your hands on them without the hard work. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my cousin after a lifetime of fighting got great results with it.

    • @abelpena4731
      @abelpena4731 3 года назад

      I completely Agree 💯❤️

    • @WonderBleep
      @WonderBleep 3 года назад +1

      Omg. You’re right. Beautiful voice!

  • @demisemedia
    @demisemedia 4 года назад +16

    My girlfriend and I are very different. She’s the youngest of 6 siblings while I’m the oldest of 5. Her family is still married (despite despising each other) while mine were never married (and no longer together). Her family immigrated from Laos while mine were born in California. She likes pop music. I like heavy metal & rap. We have a son together!! He’s 3 and we love him to bits. Even though our parenting style are a bit different we both “compromise” and understand that neither of us know everything about parenting, life, etc. Don’t take life too seriously or it will cause much more stress. Love & patience comes first. Arguing is ok, as long as it never turns into yelling and or physical fighting. As far as marriage goes.. we’ve brought it up from time to time. It’s a possibility later on down the road but we don’t believe it’s necessary at the current moment. Thanks! Great video btw

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад +1

      Thanks for sharing 🙂. Glad to hear you and your girlfriend are doing well despite the differences! People really are so different and so hard to understand sometimes haha. Hope you guys stay strong! Thank. You ☺️

    • @demisemedia
      @demisemedia 4 года назад

      @@Rebekahkim94 Thank you! We'll see what the future holds 😉And good luck to you!

  • @Cindiehams11
    @Cindiehams11 3 года назад +8

    These are such good insights about dating in general :’) I have just gone through a breakup and am dipping my toes back into dating (more in person, so it’s slower and even filled with more anxiety because intents aren’t clear) and I really needed to hear all these, about my past relationships and my journey ahead!

  • @theeverydaythrive
    @theeverydaythrive 3 года назад +6

    Wow loved your mental approach to dating and being grateful for the butterflies

  • @rainforestchurch2936
    @rainforestchurch2936 3 года назад +133

    I resonate with being friends first a lot, but I'm wondering with dating apps when every conversation/interaction sort of has a preconceived notion of dating, how do I really develop a friendship with them? I feel like things seem very binary on the apps, and if they are not interested in your romantically, they are just friendzoning you

    • @heatherhutchinson3625
      @heatherhutchinson3625 3 года назад +5

      Great question. I think even when Rebekah says making friends first, the friendships might be on the more social/superficial level. For Rebekah, it seems that it is cool to meet different people, and that is sufficient for Rebekah and many people. For Rebekah, being friend is more utilitarian because it helps manage one's expectation so that one does not take things too seriously too early on and that one can enjoy the process of dating more.

    • @ComeToMyCupcakeParty
      @ComeToMyCupcakeParty 2 года назад +2

      I agree with being friends first. Apparently hinge uses writing prompts, so the person would respond to your prompt (rather than swipe) and I feel like that could create a dialogue for friendship.

    • @lukegibson9410
      @lukegibson9410 2 года назад +2

      Maybe you should put that in your profile. You have to put that you are looking for friendship.

    • @rickybungalow8839
      @rickybungalow8839 2 года назад

      @@lukegibson9410 and get half the likes. "Oh but you are weeding out people that arent compactable" sure

    • @lukegibson9410
      @lukegibson9410 2 года назад +1

      @@rickybungalow8839 So you prefer to lie. Hinge is for romantic relationships.

  • @oceanearth2243
    @oceanearth2243 3 года назад +6

    One thing to understand is; momentum is everything .... if the conversation dies for more than 2 days that match is 99% chance not going to respond ever again. Another: women control the whole game on who they ghost and lead on.

  • @crsh2007
    @crsh2007 2 года назад +12

    I’m trying Hinge for the first time, and I’m feeling very “inadequate” - almost every guy has these cool photos of their trips and adventures…and I’ve hardly travelled out of the province 😒 But it’s fun going through all the profiles! Times have sure changed since I last dated online - in the time of flip phones, if that’s any indicator of how long it’s been! I ended up marrying him, but we ended up separating after 15 yrs and 2 kids…Hoping that round 2 is forever!

    • @lukegibson9410
      @lukegibson9410 2 года назад +1

      Men will not judge you on how adventurous you are. We are simpler, if a guy finds you physically attractive, there are very few things you can do wrong as a woman.

    • @XY-dc4yp
      @XY-dc4yp 2 года назад

      Online dating as a single mother will be harsh if you are dating men without kids.

    • @XY-dc4yp
      @XY-dc4yp 2 года назад

      Online dating as a single mother will be harsh if you are dating men without kids.

  • @thechannelwithshows
    @thechannelwithshows 4 года назад +48

    I like this video. Great advice on dating... You're right, it only has to work once.

  • @mel8416
    @mel8416 3 года назад +11

    i normally never leave comments but i love this video and it really reassures me! love your thoughts on appreciating the feelings that come from the season of dating and embracing the uncertainty and vulnerability ❤️thank u so much for this 😭

  • @dOntFoRgEtCEdriC
    @dOntFoRgEtCEdriC 4 года назад +11

    you’re like the big sister I never knew I needed 😭😭😭

  • @jenzhang379
    @jenzhang379 4 года назад +13

    Hi Rebekah. I really love this video, it’s wholesome and give warm advice. I started online dating a couple weeks ago but haven’t really gone out or met up with anyone, these are all really warm advice cuz there is a lot of uncertainty, and the most important is to have a good mentality. 🌹

  • @Slyyvie
    @Slyyvie 4 года назад +9

    yes make video on what else you've learned or how you've grown! I just downloaded hinge after being scared of online dating for hard to identify reasons and it's such a strange experience! like... these are real people omg.

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад +3

      ahh so exciting! it is really scary, but good job for putting yourself out there :D!! Good luck

  • @PetiteStyleNFashion
    @PetiteStyleNFashion 4 года назад +3

    I don't know for what reason I could not stop smiling watching this... It clears so many things...

  • @nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo
    @nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo 3 года назад +5

    I feel like if u dont actually have a goal with dating ur gonna waste ur time. If you want to just meet people then meet people for friendship, ideally ur same gender. Trust, the relationships will last longer its worth more to just invest with friendships. If you want a relationship be honest with yourself dont pretend to be casual because ur afraid of failing if u admit what you really want.

  • @artistevivien
    @artistevivien 3 года назад +6

    I like your positivity and wish I could have as much of it as you do! It just feels like I “missed my chance” to find the one in college. If I could go back in time, I would. Instead I pushed myself to work hard and get a job all the while ignoring the more important thing, it seems. (End rant)

  • @TopVillain
    @TopVillain 3 года назад +6

    Timing is so important. Someone can approach me and I’m like no thanks just because it’s a Tuesday but if they were to approach me on Thursday I would be open to it. So don’t be hurt if you get rejected just bad timing most the time

  • @Sezura
    @Sezura 3 года назад +4

    Thank you for your wise words, Rebekah! I am having a similar experience. I find that friendship and taking the time to get to know someone is very powerful.

  • @nicole866
    @nicole866 3 года назад +2

    You are absolutely wonderful 💕 I love finding people whose vibes are ✨immaculate✨

  • @williambach2790
    @williambach2790 2 года назад

    Awesome way to look at it: the time to feel these feelings and it only has to work once. Being on dating apps is like a roller coaster. Helpful video!

  • @studywithjamie6147
    @studywithjamie6147 4 года назад +7

    every piece of advice you gave is so sweet and helpful!!

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад

      Thank you :)!! Your channel is so cute! Love the editing style haha. Subscribeddd.

  • @hazelle7319
    @hazelle7319 3 года назад +1

    I'm really happy your video was the first one I clicked on because you gave a lot of great and mature points.

  • @noreenshazreen6555
    @noreenshazreen6555 4 года назад +6

    just found your channel and I loveee! you deserve way more subscribers 💕

  • @MichaelStrawn_I_am
    @MichaelStrawn_I_am 3 года назад +2

    Your SO validating! Thanks for being you!

  • @itsangelie
    @itsangelie 4 года назад +3

    so much wisdom especially point #4! 👏🏼

  • @NickCADA
    @NickCADA 3 года назад +7

    What I learned on Hinge was that women truly do hate me.

  • @withamylee
    @withamylee 4 года назад +4

    ur so well spoken. and i love ur video! ✨
    online dating can def be so daunting
    i actually made a similar video on the topic tooo 🤣💕

  • @lalanotmyname5046
    @lalanotmyname5046 3 года назад +1

    Also taking it not to serious is a big Key you mentioned wich i also learned later on aswell, in the Past i would take eveything so serious and would believe every little Thing, but now its like different. Its very important to not take it too by Heart otherwise your Exceptions might get destroyed with that Person you had. Cause its true you never know that Person on the other side truly. ✨ Thats why i got my Points and my Rules so it wont turn into an Disaster.😌💯 And even if it does, the Option is still there to break it off with that Person. If you don't share the same Goals, Futureplans, Mentality, Lifestyle (If you are a Relationship Person or a Fuckperson), Likings its gonna be hard to get along with that Person.🤌🏻💯✨

  • @thetechpmm
    @thetechpmm 4 года назад +1

    good stuff! sub'ed! btw ur channel's super underrated - keep it up

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад

      Thank you :). Appreciate the support!

  • @photoreference9429
    @photoreference9429 2 года назад

    You're so damn gorgeous, just be picky, you deserve it. GET WHAT YOU WANT!

  • @jatse511
    @jatse511 3 года назад

    Anything can happen. But dating app is like you can't exactly see someone to know if they are ok to understand further about.
    I am very inadequate myself. I don't hide that. I don't make up my height. I see many people (women) are pretty candid too. But, and I feel sorry, I can't like everyone and I have to swipe a lot.

  • @cloudgirlart1133
    @cloudgirlart1133 4 года назад +2

    Great advice! I loved your video. Keep going I hope to see you keep growing ☺️

  • @inmyownheadspace49
    @inmyownheadspace49 3 года назад +2

    This was really great advice and I found myself relating and agreeing

  • @XTesT15X
    @XTesT15X 3 года назад +2

    Pretty fair advice. Here’s my Hinge advice for the ladies. If a guy messages you and you’re ok to talk to them, don’t invite them to start the conversation...actually start the conversation 😂 They already messaged you, right? Lol. Quit being lazy. Trying is cool.

  • @hajergriffin5013
    @hajergriffin5013 3 года назад +1

    Aww thank you so much for making this video amazing 😍

  • @pc2780
    @pc2780 2 года назад

    Love your top. Could you please tell where did you get your top?

  • @zurikatana2574
    @zurikatana2574 3 года назад +2

    I really needed to hear this, thank you for sharing your ideas!

  • @heatherhutchinson3625
    @heatherhutchinson3625 3 года назад +3

    This video did not really explain why it is worth it to go through all the feelings. Wouldn't it better to date with people whom you can trust and you can process feelings constructively with? Also, it is easy to say it is okay to make mistakes becuase you can learn something, but the video doesn't really say how one learns to be a better or more qualified person after mistakes; the video is more about moving on and keep trying. It seems to be a very lottery approach to dating.

  • @johnpenn74
    @johnpenn74 2 года назад +1

    Yep tried hinge. It was just as disappointing as all the rest. People are not going to pay money for any kind of service that doesn't produce results. This just another womans view when men get response about 1 out of 100 tries. The problem is only half the app. The real issue is women unrealistic expectations.

  • @lusiyuan1
    @lusiyuan1 3 года назад

    Wow you are gorgeous and well spoken. I’m so glad you showed up on my recommendations haha. If only my hinge feed in my city had women like you!!!

  • @mkkelise2084
    @mkkelise2084 3 года назад +4

    They banned me because I look underaged 💀 In reality I’m 18 soon to be 19

  • @banelediy6312
    @banelediy6312 4 года назад +3

    Thanks for this 💕I’m definitely trying it out ...new subscriber!

  • @raphaellepepin2034
    @raphaellepepin2034 3 года назад +2

    I just discovered your youtube channel and I love your energy 🥺❤️ it's so true what you are saying! I needed to be reminded of everything that you said ❤️

  • @IrishMexican
    @IrishMexican 3 года назад

    Thanks for this video Rebekah!

  • @brittanyyygisele
    @brittanyyygisele 3 года назад

    thanks for sharing!! you are so good with your words 👍 definitely will remember your tips

  • @chloecp995
    @chloecp995 4 года назад +2

    Thank you for this, great video I relate to a lot of what you were saying 💖✨

  • @yungsaya
    @yungsaya 3 года назад +1

    Sigh graduated college and thinking about trying online dating.

  • @jiaduan8240
    @jiaduan8240 4 года назад +3

    Great advice. Thank you!

  • @michellesavage2427
    @michellesavage2427 3 года назад +2

    Thank you. Very generous info.

  • @tobys4618
    @tobys4618 3 года назад

    Wonderful mindset, and so beautiful. You are so attractive😊 happiness is bound to happen for you soon.

  • @reavl6494
    @reavl6494 3 года назад

    I'm new here. The pick me up I needed, but also great words I will take with me!

  • @paries1014
    @paries1014 3 года назад +1

    Hi rebekah you are sooo sweet girl i make mistake to get some one very seriously and he breakes my heart

  • @bensonnguyen8601
    @bensonnguyen8601 2 года назад

    Thanks you give me hope for online dating

  • @2ndPortal
    @2ndPortal Год назад

    If you need to date 100 guys to find the one, you got an issue.

  • @samanthacruz5587
    @samanthacruz5587 3 года назад +1

    Thank you thank you I need this right now!

  • @evessunday5524
    @evessunday5524 2 года назад

    Hi everyone is there any still single lady here because I believe there is

  • @Sathea
    @Sathea 4 года назад +1

    You're a cool person. Just skimmed through your vids and saw you live in Seattle? That's my old home town. Too bad we can't be friends there.

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад +1

      Thank you :). Yes, Seattle haha. Hope you're doing well, wherever you are!!

    • @Sathea
      @Sathea 4 года назад

      @@Rebekahkim94 mid west now in countryside Kentucky lol. Might move back to Seattle. I'm missing the food there.

  • @thunderrunner666
    @thunderrunner666 4 года назад

    This was super helpful, thanks Rebekah

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад

      So glad it helped 🤗. Thank you haha. I’m over that ghosted!

  • @davidaaronartist
    @davidaaronartist 3 года назад +1

    we dont have hinge here in Mexico, dont like tinder and ok cupid is very spensive

  • @KataRina-qd4vn
    @KataRina-qd4vn 4 года назад +1

    Lol, date 100 people? I wish. Or maybe not. But I’ve hardly had any matches and I’m pretty sure they would just want me to follow them on Instagram. Sigh, it’s really depressing.

    • @Rebekahkim94
      @Rebekahkim94  4 года назад +1

      haha NO! dating 100 people sounds intense haha. just an example lol. and, its okay! its often a very bumpy journey until you finally meet someone where it clicks. hope you don't lose hope!!

  • @EnoI539
    @EnoI539 3 года назад +3

    The wall is and forever will be undefeated

  • @informationprocessor
    @informationprocessor 4 года назад

    I wonder if online dating is truly the future. I'll have to move to Asia. Asian fever doesn't seem to happen to me.

  • @thefitcomrade
    @thefitcomrade 4 года назад +1

    Great work💫💯

  • @meldonmendez494
    @meldonmendez494 3 года назад +1

    Spit out facts please. I stumble on this video in after watching pych2go but anyways dating is weird at this times but we all have to keep going till we all find the one person that makes a normal day a better day.

  • @craigbeeson1777
    @craigbeeson1777 3 года назад +2

    This is really good advice! Thank you so much 😍

  • @franciossebastian4890
    @franciossebastian4890 3 года назад

    Perfect video

  • @youdjparents
    @youdjparents 3 года назад

    good advice!!

  • @hannahjoycheng
    @hannahjoycheng 4 года назад +2

    Yes 1/100000!!! So true

  • @tranquility9325
    @tranquility9325 3 года назад +1

    There are a lot of atheists on hinge🥴

  • @liveforyouonly
    @liveforyouonly 3 года назад

    more dating content pls!

  • @monicaa6345
    @monicaa6345 3 года назад

    Great advice

  • @1991Depa
    @1991Depa 3 года назад

    really helpful. thanks

  • @MarcRebilletClips
    @MarcRebilletClips 2 года назад +1

    Lol wear a mask while dating? How to get friend zoned in one date

  • @mikeslife3715
    @mikeslife3715 3 года назад

    Enjoyed the video thanks ..kinda in same boat ..keep it up ....I like your sweet bubblyness

  • @DeniseLewislight
    @DeniseLewislight 4 года назад +1

    Yes!

  • @michaelphillips9237
    @michaelphillips9237 3 года назад +1

    All that I understood from what you said (over and over again) is that you are going to have bad depressed feelings and to be ok with that. You kept repeating yourself over and over and over again.
    Kind of how you take a big exam and they ask the same question five different ways.
    You said the same thing over and over again, with slightly different verbiage

  • @hopeinsf
    @hopeinsf 3 года назад

    Thanks for sharing

  • @Available_InHD
    @Available_InHD 4 года назад

    Thanks for this.

  • @davidsmart4193
    @davidsmart4193 2 года назад

    Hinge is a terrible app

  • @diogeneshernandez9752
    @diogeneshernandez9752 3 года назад

    Very cute

  • @kadamatv2363
    @kadamatv2363 2 года назад

    Owg am single

  • @bibarel4665
    @bibarel4665 3 года назад +1

    Yeah Im in the same boat. I just want to have a relationship with a girl who’s normal. I don’t want a girl with autism or is a religious nitjob. Just looking to sit down and actually have a conversation and share my life with. Its bs the only girls who ever liked me have these issues.

  • @刘泽立
    @刘泽立 2 года назад

    你是中国人吗?看起来像不知道是不是哈哈哈

  • @resilientc5449
    @resilientc5449 4 года назад

    I review hinge girls on my channel...so to speak LMAO

  • @mavericklen34
    @mavericklen34 4 года назад

    Hii

  • @msnfraser4459
    @msnfraser4459 3 года назад

    Sounds more like LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.

  • @fuji4202
    @fuji4202 3 года назад

    First minute Blah Blah Blah Blah boring ..

  • @anasali774
    @anasali774 3 года назад

    she sounds like she cry her self to sleep.