The Myth of the Midlife Crisis in Men | Raul Villacis | TEDxFergusonLibrary
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2024
- Most men will face a mid-life crisis at some point in their lives. Men have been conditioned to not reach out for help because they feel that showing emotion and vulnerability is a sign of weakness. But while this time is filled with uncertainty and self-doubt, it can be interpreted as the rite of passage or what I call the TUNNEL; Every man wants to be a warrior, to be able to provide for himself and his family, but when he enters the tunnel, he must find the wisdom to become a King. Raul Villacis is an entrepreneur, investor and mentor. He is the founder The Next Level Experience - An organization designed to help successful entrepreneurs and CEOs find clarity and achieve balance in their personal and professional lives. The system that he teaches is called The EDGE. And the bootcamp style mastermind gives men the opportunity to re-discover the edge they once had. His programs have been sold out and is currently working on expanding his events to Latin America. In addition to this he owns a real estate firm and a media company that produces content for distribution. He began his journey as an entrepreneur at the age of 23 when he started his own real estate company. By the time he was 30, his real estate company had become the largest latino-owned real estate investment firm in Connecticut. Servicing major financial institutions and hedge funds his company found a way to tap into a niche market.
He is a contributing writer for Entrepreneur Magazine as well as Forbes. In addition to his work with The Next Level Experience and other businesses he’s passionate about helping the next generation of entrepreneurs find their message. Together with his son they have spoken on many stages to inspire parents and kids to take the risk and find their purpose. You can find out more about him at www.RaulVillacis.com. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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I’m in the tunnel right now, it’s hard to see through the end. Hope the light is there.
During the covid lockdown it was the perfect storm that led to my mental breakdown. I went down a dark hole of the darkest depression filled with anxiety, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, and much more. It was like all of the stresses and traumas that I had been dealing with finally hit me. And it hit hard. As men we don’t always like to talk about our stresses in life. I learned that your mind and body is like a jug of water. The more stress you have, the more the jug fills, and the heavier it becomes on you. Until one day it all spills out. I recommend everyone to have a solid therapist. Someone they can unload on, to help stay grounded, sbd someone to hide you an rational outsider’s perspective.
POINTS taken, duly noted. Thx for the kick. This tunnel is a difficult place. Become the REASON for someone else to level UP. YES.
My topic for my own subscribers this week. So maybe you're at midlife, maybe younger or even mid twenties and you feel you didn't get what you wanted. You look at someone like Stephen King and suddenly you feel poorly about yourself. Don't. Two mindsets to take here. First, most people don't get everything they wanted--they may get a lot, but not everything. Most talented actors or other artists won't make the big screen. But you evaluate what you did get. Maybe family, maybe you did get to that suburb or maybe your job is getting to help people. But maybe that didn't get you to the Bill Gates level. So what? Everyone has there own path to walk. And guess what, Bill Gates and King didn't get everything either. Stephen King has trouble walking because he got run down by a truck decades ago. See? Second point. There is still time. There are many things I can't do now due to age. Can't join the Marines or become an FBI agent. Can't try again at pro thai kickboxing. But I can travel. I can hike. I can see the world. I can keep writing books and keep plugging that vlog. What is left greatly outnumbers what I didn't get and now can't get. That is the take home point--at thirty, at eighty. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles.
Inspiring speech. All I needed to get me going.
I’m 25 pandemic ended my job so I’ve been living pay check to paycheck I’m so sad And I’m ashamed I’m not as strong as I’m supposed to be so I just want a sense of peace a sense of belonging somewhere to call home and to enjoy myself because life isn’t promised. ☹️😫😩☹️🥺😩🙁🙁😣😖😫😭😭😢😢😢😢😖😖😣☹️🥺🥺😩🙁🙁☹️😣😣😢🥺🥺😢😢😖😖😣😔😔😞😞😒😒😔😟😕😕😔😞😒🙁🙁😣☹️☹️☹️
you'll get thru this, budss. sending virtual hug.💪
😢. It’s no your fault, it’s our fallen world. Pray to God and never give up.
I just bought his book, "The Kings code." I'm on this journey or tunnel of fulfillment not regret and pain. Thank u Raul.
Interesting of your stages of being a king and I feel I'm stuck in a peasant stage in my 50's. Finding my purpose and making an impact is the key...action, action, and action when I find it.
I was looking to see if I should buy a sports car or not to fix my midlife crisis, and It looks like a lot of men are messed up... Oh my. I'm glad that I have God to lean on and I have never once battled depression.
I’ve been very successful at being the warrior. Now, I’m in the tunnel. The tunnel sucks.
Yes, the tunnel sucks! But know this, there is an end to the tunnel, trust me. I went into the tunnel about early 40s. It was about a 5 year process. Later on, I entered into the phase of acceptance (at about age 48 or so) where I began to realize that this life I’ve been given is it and it’s best I learn to accept it rather than continue to fight it and lament on things. This phase didn’t last as long, as soon after I entered into the phase of “embracement” where I eventually began to embrace the life I have. for me it was being single , no children, never married. I put too much of my energy (in my 20s and 30s) into my job and career advancements that it took away from other areas of my life which I’d be enjoying today. Once I began to embrace this and live this life focusing on me instead of a family, I became much more at peace. It also helps to spend time volunteering and helping others less fortunate (nursing homes, homeless shelters, etc) which can take some of your mind off of your problems and realize how good you really have it.
Every man will exprience depression. Not 1 out of 10. It's a natural reaction to grief.
I believe he was referring to clinical depression vs situational depression which everyone experiences at some point
Fantastic speech. A lot of power-packed tips in a short time Love the "who will I become?"
I never imagined living this long. It's foreign territory. This helped. Peace
reminds me of wake up warrior
In the tunnel myself. Just what I needed to hear.
You’re not alone bother.
It happens to all of us. I’m 50 yr Old and went through much of it in my 40s. The light at the end of the tunnel is as such.. at first the regrets set in. Later, you learn how to manage those feelings of regret and somehow come to an “acceptance” of “this is how things turned out, and it’s meant to be this way”... When things begin to turn around and really get better is when you transition out of the “acceptance” phase and into a phase of “embracement” - where you now have learned to truly “embrace” all that has been given to you or not given to you and you begin to find ways to live a life that uses and make the best of what circumstances were handled to you. I know it sounds cliche but moving into this phase has helped me tremendously. For me, it was being single at 40, never married, no children, etc. I eventually came to the mindset that I was going to wake up every day appreciating my time given to improve myself and make the best body - physically, emotionally and mentally for myself. I also found it helpful for me to volunteer at a senior living facility, and a homeless shelter. You’ll find it helps to take your mind off of your issues by helping others cope with theirs.
@@TopGun_- Thanks for the reply. It is very helpful!
I have been the sedated warrior for years.
My tunnel was going through the Merrit Parkway water tunnel, in Trumbull, Connecticut, a short cut to visit my friend Vinnie's house. There was bats living near that tunnel, and I was scared of going through that tunnel under the Merrit Parkway, and at twelve years old, I said it does'nt matter I"M going through that tunnel.
In the tunnel now 😢Praying to get out of it and level up
I had one
This was really good!!
u should be a commentator
Greater purpose of life is to know who you are and who you belong to.
I am 40s, I got 20 years left.
So whatsup ?
This is motivational but that doesn’t mean a “midlife crisis” doesn’t exist
Am I that early there are no traces of men to give a feedback!?
Same 😁😁 and what a coincidence both of us are Indians
Do I have to listen to the whole speech? One minuite was enough for me. I have found it very much cut into a tailormade suit that you can get somewhere in London or Hongkong. Tell me if I am wrong in my assumption this speech is full of things that do well in anglo-american culture, and get commercialised in such manner that I only need 1 minuite to start writing this comment.
ps by the way I'm dutch...lol!!
Life isn't one minute but a journey. Its a paradigm switch. If you just needed 1 minute then you missed what comes next but it's so much more.
Did it include cheating?????????
Oh really pfft my husband try to say he had a midlife crisis at 43 LMFAO
why he talks like that lol
Must the speech be so dramatic?
A real man never cries and masters his emotions. That is all there is to it.
A real man never cries and dies of a premature heart attack.
Master emotions yes. To not cry due to grief, death, divorce is to deny yourself a way to heal. Crying Infront of woman = bad idea. They have no empathy to men's emotions and kills there attraction
Patriarchy. Delete it.