I burned out. Here's how I recovered.
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Earlier this year, I hit burnout. After ignoring the signs for months, I eventually got to a point where I was creatively exhausted and felt cynical towards my work. But thanks to the help of some people close to me, I was able to work through it and recover. If you feel burned out, hopefully this can help you find a way to recover as well.
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I'd like to share a little bonus story, which will show how my life is often a process of learning the same lesson over and over:
In college, I was in the honors program. Graduating with it would've meant I'd be able to put it on my resume and wear a cool gold cord at the graduation ceremony. However, there were some requirements; I had to take some extra classes and do a big project during my senior year.
About halfway through college, I was putting a lot more time into building my business, and trying to juggle that alongside classes, my job, and the Honors requirements was becoming incredibly stressful. Additionally, my time was very fractured; I wasn't able to focus for very long on any one thing, and everything suffered as a result.
So - even though I really wanted that additional resume item - I decided to quit the Honors program during my senior year. It was hard to give that up, but the time and ability to focus that I gained was worth it. And looking back, I can see now that having "honors graduate" on my resume wouldn't have helped me as much as all the extra time I was able to invest in building my business.
I still struggle with living by the lesson this taught me: Letting an opportunity go doesn't equal failure. And even if that opportunity would have helped me progress slightly faster, it may not have been worth it.
Thomas Frank I’m curious if you know your Enneagram type?
Speaking of music, is that a Kawai digital piano behind you?
I'm currently in an honors pre Med program, still working full time and trying to continue with my fitness goals. I feel like I'm drowning but I'm not even sure where to start with cutting back!
"Letting an opportunity go doesn't equal failure." - Wow, that hit the right spot, I needed to hear that. Thank you!
@@scdobserver835 yep! It's a CA78 - I'm so glad I got it. Having a piano has really helped me internalize what I've been learning about music theory, and it's even helped me become a better guitar player :)
If you don't take a break, the break takes itself.
Never heard this before, but I love it.
@@Thomasfrank thank you :) Well I had a breakdown just yesterday. And it seemed that the break literally took itself with force since I refused to take a proper one for so long...
It's too true. I've known this for years, even though I forget it every time I start to plan things for "Future Paul" to do.
Also never heard it before but it's so true.
You only realise it once you're there. Thanks Wendy, great point!
This is perfect as people in college are starting to get hit with the burnout
Ya for me its kinda complicated as i ADHD i burn out yesterday morning so the rest of that i did nothing.
@@Borex2 i burn out yesterday but now im good
It’s basically the 3rd and last exam week before finals for me
@@brocklesnerd1283 This is not a burnout, because burnouts last for a lot longer (up to months).
@@dimitris598 I know I was mocking the dude I was responding too
Dude, I loved the honesty and transparency here. I was impressed with how well you were able to articulate such a tricky topic. And I'm glad to hear you're doing better!
My hero just entered the comment section 🙏
@@Slam_24 mine too :)
it is wholesome to see how you guys are supportive of each other. hi Nathaniel :)
Yayyaya. That's awesome.
I think we all could include a little bit more in our weekly schedule the practice of what Italians call “far niente” (doing nothing... a block of time when you can meander, walk around, or just be in the moment and do what feels right in the moment)...
When I quit my job because of my burnout I knew it was a life or death choice to me. I chose my health over money and thank God I did. Needless to say that the recovery was long. On the last day I came home and my body just shut down. I would sleep 16 hours a day but in sequences. I would wake up, eat something and then all of a sudden I would pass out on the couch for 5 hours with no recollection of falling asleep. This went on for a whole month. My body decided to take matters into its own hands because I wasn't able to make any decisions. That month of rest was like a rebirth. When it ended I felt like I was coming out of a coma that had lasted during the whole time I was at my job. Just a black hole I was leaving behind. Never choose your job over your well-being.
Hi Kat G. How great to read this. I’m keen to hear what sort of environment you worked in before your crash and what sort of activity you’re involved in now. How do you maintain your well-being and guard against crashing again?
i'd like to hear more as well.
@@jamestruter2788 I was working in an international law firm in Switzerland. Needless to say that in Switzerland the pay is great but the burnouts are even greater. I have rarely seen such a small country with that many job-related burnouts. The hours are very long, the average person doing the job I was doing there would go to work at 8am and come home around 9pm...Hard to have a social life, hobbies and so on which obviously leads to some form of depression. I was physically ill all the time, stomach pain, migraines, back pain. I would walk for 20 minutes and the day after I would feel like I had just ran a marathon. My whole body was stiff because of all the stress and unhappiness I was experiencing. I have since gone the complete opposite way, I have moved out of the country and went into the holistic/wellness field. It is way less money but so worth it. I have more time and energy to enjoy my free time, my friends and family, my dogs, nature, my lovely home. I feel so grateful and at peace. Most of all, my overall health has improved a lot which was the most important thing to for me to accomplish. I hope I helped at least one person who read this. 💛
@@kat.5927 Thank you for sharing. One can tell that you went through the most, and I am happy for the turnaround. Life is precious, our health is precious and happiness is precious. Many of us are in demanding environments, and in the short term, this is fine, but prolonged stress can never be ok.
I reached out to you because two months ago I went through a similar process. Going forward, I need the right guardrails to prevent the same from happening.
@@jamestruter2788 Thank you for sharing. I sincerely wish you all the best.
What if you're just employee. You don't have much control. Toxic workplaces burn people out. I speak from personal experience.
If it’s toxic, try to find another place to work. If it’s possible to talk, talk first.
Leave that place as fast as possible
Yes!! It's tough to start over in a terrible job market in your area.
Going through exactly that at the moment.. working in a toxic company and no break due to the pandemic has destroyed me and my energy to look for another job.. it is a vicious circle that gets trapped, unless you have enough money to leave without a job...
@@Stavraetina Similar here, man. I'm so severely burned out at my job I don't have the energy to look for another soul sucking, dead end job. So incredibly stuck and drained every day. Hugs, man.
2019 is a hard year for everyone, huh
Edit: HOWS EVERYONES 2020 LOOOOOL
Its been the hardest for me
2019 is not playing games
@@basil33 2018 was like the worst year of my life
@@basil33 2019 blew 2019 out of the water in terms of stress and anxiety
2019 was rough, a lot, and I mean a lot of failure
That's weird, my burnout hit me at the exact same time this year. I went through the exact same sequence of events. I cut my monthly uploads in half and thankfully the income didn't suffer. However it didn't increase either. I'm glad you posted this.
Glad it worked out well for you too! Letting go of additional income is really tough, especially when you're in the (very fortunate, to be honest) position where you have the option to increase it in the short-term by doing more work.
same time too 2019
I love how subtle you are when it comes to mentioning sponsors. Like everything's just going with the flow and out of nowhere, you mention your sponsor for the video. I have been noticing this quite a lot in your videos and its amazing how you keep doing that, intentionally or not.
I really liked the style of this video, it felt like a heart to heart and I'm feeling reassured and inspired again. Thank you!
Maria :D yes!
Maria :D agreed! :)
I went through burnout when I started as a financial advisor. I hated the 70 hour work weeks and I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought.
This video is refreshing
it’s good that you came to realize this at 28, many come to this at only 50
I hear you man. I feel you. In the same boat.
I think we all could include a little bit more in our weekly schedule the practice of what Italians call “far niente” (doing nothing... a block of time when you can meander, walk around, or just be in the moment and do what feels right in the moment)...
Oh my god. This is exactly the thing I needed right now. I just got back from going 2 weeks off of school to visit family during the school year. Got back and felt really pressured to finish my work especially since Thanksgiving Break forced a quicker deadline. I knew that this is what I needed but for some reason hearing it from someone else is helping me out. Maybe it’s knowing I’m not the only one who feels burnt out, I don’t know. But it felt really good to hear.
It's really great you were able to take things slower when you did. I highly respect your work ethic! Thank you for all the content you take the time and effort to make.
Well put! 👏🏻 it is beautiful to hear Thomas intentions as well. It’s not just about the money. Sometimes you keep going for the team!
I crashed HARD last week. Ended up leaving a VERY stressful situation since I had a nervous breakdown. Starting to recover, slowly but surely and I've realized that I need to take my life in a different direction.
Wishing you well!
I'm a Physics student in Uni and this is 100% relatable. Our schedule is supposed to include about 20 exams per year (10 practical ones plus the theoretical part). All of this in 3 years. The more it takes for you to do them, the more the years in Uni, the more you're involved in this environment, the more you pay for Uni. Since the very first year I went through a burnout. In September I passively decided I couldn't do everything. I had to, since things went really bad and I didn't pass any of the exams as I tried to study perfectly for all of them altogether. Now I accepted that I need more time that the one we're given. I'm attending again some courses and I'm trying to be more careful to my mental health, which is still fragile. I wish I could learn faster how not to take my decision to take more time for graduating as a failure. Thank you for this video.
“Dont work harder, work smarter”
I'm really happy for you. I went into a severe burn out five years ago. I'm still struggling with fatigue, short term memory loss and dementia like problems. To be fair I have gone through several periods of burn out before and returned to the stress of full time work after only about a month and sometimes also heaping on studies on top. I am a lot better today than when it first hit but I still have some road ahead before I can work again.
This really spoke to me. Not even a month ago I was the closest to a real burnout I have ever been. I had been going on survival mode for about a month - no social life, no time or interest for hobbies, fighting to keep deadlines, neglecting my bf... It was just piling up. I almost start crying just thinking about it. Better now since I have fever deadlines, but recovery is a journey.
As you said, learning to cut back on commitments was the key. As a university student this is sometimes though (not in an honours program, I just have high expectations of myself), but I never again want to feel like I've felt during this autumn.
Glad to see you are gaining your creativity back! Thank you for sharing your story. It was told at the right moment
Exactly what I need, you're the best! I'll watch and the come back to edit this comment. But I wanted to say thank you already 🙏❤
EDIT: I had a terrible burn out years ago at university (luckily I managed to graduate but didn't get to do as much as I knew I was able to which is unfortunate) and even now I'm in such a creative block that even reading is hard. Just like you I tend to bite more that I can chew so I'm trying to cut some commitments too. I'm glad you're feeling better and I know that soon I'll get better too. 🌻
callmemagi 😊✨
You're videos have been so very helpful! I'm a housekeeper and I work for myself. When I started my "business" I never expected to grow as much as it did. It was more a way I knew I could support myself. After about the first year, (I've now been doing it nearly 4 years) I found myself severely burned out, even after hiring help. I'll break down to the point of having no choice but to take time off bc my body is shutting down, then feel guilty and get right back at it, only to have it consistently happen again and again. Talking to family members and friends no one seemed to understand,aside from my now husband, which just made me feel guilty and weak. Hearing the way you described your burnout and what led up to it was so reassuring and gives me major hope. I stumbled on your videos about a week ago looking for something constructive to listen to while I work and every single one has had such practicable advice in it, but when this one started rolling, it hit home big time and I just had to let you know how much I appreciate what you're doing!
man because of this vedio i learned to get back from burnout i was burnedout in 2020 my grades dropped heck i even failed one class i used get all "A" but in 2020 i got all B's even they were online exams now again iam on track now i took a long break from studying from long hours and month rest no study only watching movies i got all "A" again
thank you thomas
But as for me i don't have time to relax to heal my burnout. My exams are in 3 months and I will need all three months to study. What do I do :(
Thomas, thank you for your transparency and openness about this topic. I have experienced burnout as well, but your story helps create an awareness of the factors that lead to burnout. I appreciate the time you spend on your content.👍🏼👍🏼
I actually really liked the way you structured this video! The story time way of structuring gave context and weight to the tips you had to share and increased the overall deliverability of your points
I’ve been burnt out for 6 years so this is right on time
I love that this video is so real, it’s just you and your camera, talking to me, love the broken down style. Great stuff as always, Tom!!!
Love it, still in the middle of this
I really f***in needed this, thank you so much, Thomas. This is how my entire year has been.
I’m glad you’re feeling better! I needed to take a similar break from work. It was a great reset button and I genuinely feel much happier and ready to get back on the stuff that really matters to me.
Taking on commitments for future Tom, that doesn't have the everyday commitments and overburdening, resonated with me! Note to self... thanks
I'm probably the only one but this thomas story time format is my favorite.
thank you for making this video, i definitely needed this as i'm in the middle of a burnout right now.
Taking some long weekends can help with burnout as well. I started implementing this this year, especially after mostly working from home. I'll take a Friday and sometimes a Monday off; having a 4-day work week then allows me to prioritize what I absolutely need to get done, while ensuring I have enough time to recharge.
Huge respect bro.
It's very difficult to look on one's self objectively and diagnose the problem and the cause and discoverthe treatment and the hardest of all is to be brave enough to take the medicine which is very sacrificial on one side but it's very liberating on the other
This is why you're such a great content creator because you're humble and vulnerable and real. You make amazing content take a break when necessary 👊
I took breaks. I even let go of many opportunities. But I still feel so burned out. I think I may not recover and the idea of change is so surreal that it might not happen.
This really inspires me. I have some things I cannot adjust much, but I can create some rewards and breaks to refill my tank, so to speak.
i really like how chill and lay back this video was
It's good to not have the same quality of videos. Even to watch. Variety is the spice of life. Love your videos and glad so hear you are doing much better
Thanks for all of the work you do, Thomas. You've helped me through countless difficult moments in my life the past few years. I would be much worse off if you hadn't started this channel and made such quality, helpful content.
Thank's for sharing it. I'm going through a post-post-post burnout. Entrepreneuring is a passion I practice and currently run 2 businesses. 1 is the one I will perform once I become 50 I'm currently 40. The other one is my current and most important activity which offers us a living and is the foundation for the second one. Every year we are more advanced into our vision successfully, nevertheless the ammount of energy it takes is gigantic. I know what do I need to do, I have to manage my partying better. Cuz after being a husband, a daddy and an entrepreneur of 2 businesses, I thought partying was gonna be my scape valve, but it hasn't since I still party as if I was 25. This advice and video have given me the answer to gain my energy back. I just need to be more disciplined. Thank u all for your comments.
My passion is art. I started drawing for as long as i can remember, and i'd draw all day and night. It was really fun to do, but recently i've been feeling unmotivated to draw. Not even just sketch. It felt painful to draw or paint anything and for some reason i can't think of anything to draw anymore. I don't have a tight schedule, and the only thing pressuring me is school.
It might be art block, but i've never had such an intense unmotivated feeling before. I'm getting worried that i might be losing interest in my passion because it's the best thing about me. I've invested so much into my passion.
I need help. Is this burnout kinda thing just part of the journey? Should i just keep my mind off my passion for a while? I really need guidance.
Bro you hit ALL the points! I really needed to hear this. Thank you!
just what I needed to day !!! thankss a lottt !!!!
Nice and clear talking about important matter. Nice to hear that you got out of your burnout and I hope you are doing well today. Burnout is tricky thing to recover from. And not easy at all.
Thank you Thomas. This is refreshing. Its been a while since I sat and fully watch your video without getting distracted by those annoying background noises/music. Please keep making these type of content. Re-subbed.
Right video at right time for me... thank you
Thomas, you are just so helpful seriously! I'm currently a senior in college writing an ethnography, but I'm suffering from some serious burn out with finals right around the corner this video has perfect timing! Thank you! Can't wait to see your next video!
But what do u do when u've had an extreme burnout for years tho?
Thinking of finally to get better but can't seem to do it
Diana Mariom it’s so hard. It requires really difficult decisions that will likely suck (in the short term). But what’s the alternative?
May it be psychological condition that needs to be checked i don't know . Cause it happened to me and a 2 week antidepressant rebooted my state totally
It can also be a physical issue, vitamin or mineral deficiency. If the regular western doctor can’t find anything, try eastern practice (if you can afford it). I’m just figuring out since getting my burnout in 2011. Turns out just trying to change the way I think and act wasn’t enough. There really could be just a physical piece missing. Through a gut specialist (orthomoleculair doctor too) and hypnotherapist I’m learning the things that are holding me back.
I’m not saying this is what you should do too. Everyone has different things that work for them, trust your instinct to decide what’s best for you. Maybe it really is being open to a new angle in approaching this or meeting the right person that can help you.
Chronic fatigue syndrome is a real thing and needs medical help. There is no silver bullet but you can overcome it. Do some research on CFS and you might be surprised.
Thank you for talking about this! I don't think people talk enough about what it is and how they get out of it. Very brave!
Please, take care your self my friend ... many of us really really really apreciate you .. keep strong
thanks, this is exactly what I needed to hear for probably all my past life..;
seriously, this video is a life saver
Wow, this hit close to home. I work a 9-5, do content creation/streamer and work on renovating a house. I am burnt out! I am looking at taking an extended break from work in August and will take a good look at everything I have scheduled to see if I can cut back. My creative side feels like it's gone, and I hate that. I want it back.
I needed this & it's clarity on a very murky mindset/situation. Hope u r well & Thank You..!!!!
If it makes you feel any better about all the effort you have put in. Your videos have helped me transition from the military to a full time STEM student with no stress. I may be ten years older than all my fellow students but when they are stressing over midterms and finals I’m breathing easy.
I love you, Thomas. I don't know what or how, but this video awakens some thing in my soul, cannot explain.
Thank you for sharing & for being vulnerable. This was very helpful for me to hear right now. I think we share many of those internal stressors, as do so many people these days, I believe. I know that I could be more efficient, at the same time, I always feel exhausted. School, work, commuting, mealprep, running, yoga... Sadly, the yoga is the thing that gets skipped first. Your content is awesome, even this less complicated video style. The information is what is important and you are wonderful at distributing it 😊
My counselor told me just the other day that I was burnt out. Great video. Thanks for sharing.
I'm moving from working full time on my business to a corporate job. which is actually such a huge weight off my shoulders because of financial stress. I think not having the pressure of managing everything myself to earn a living will help me be more excited and eager to work on my business rather than it feeling like i'm trapped!
Perfect timing. Also, who's #notificationsquad?
Loukes I always wonder that too LOL
I was brought to this video because for the past 8 months I’ve been slogging from 08:00-20:00, and I’ve been pushing on weekends too. My family hasn’t seen me and there’s been no time for other things. This week for the first time I’ thought that I give so much to my business and clients, WHAT ABOUT ME?
Omg this is exactly what I have just realized in my own life. I also felt trapped by my schedule (full time university, part time job plus other committments), wasn't realizing what I could actually cut back on (taking off work for one weekend isn't going to kill me) and created a worst case scenario (like you not being able to pay people) that when I actually sat down and worked it out, wasn't even true. Such good timing, I feel this so hard.
Thank you for the honesty and transparency. It isn’t easy.
Thanks for being real and sharing. This shows that you are human & not superman. I really appreciated this as someone who has experienced burnout. I'm trying to get past it now. I know if you did it, I can do it!
You’re amazing, Thomas. Take care and don’t overdo!!!
Thank you for sharing this. 2019 wasn't great for me either on all fronts. I felt like my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies all ran down like batteries. I still struggle on how to overcome this and hope to rejuvinate over December.
This is what I feel right now. Since, I work for a company, I tried to reach my superiors and talked to them. But I was told that what’s happening with everybody and I was told to be patient, hopefully things are getting better.
However, more and more it’s becoming difficult for me, because I am expected to perform as usual. So, I feel like I am running sprint in a marathon...😢😢
I realized that in order to make me feel better, I am the one who has to help myself. So, I finally decided to take 10 days holiday and I am going next week.
I know that I have to stop for awhile and really taking care of my well-being.
Nice to know that somehow I go to the right direction to get better after watching this video
This is so beautiful. Thank you! ❤️
Thank you much for this video. You’ve made a difference in my life as it is right now. God bless you!
This described my current situation so perfectly well. Glad to see I’m not alone
are you starting to feel better?
Honestly, I needed to hear this… 🥲
that's exactly what I needed to hear right now. seems like I've been struggling with the same issues for a while now and even if somehow I knew I should do something about it, I just never could. it's like a big bang in my head. thanks for opening my eyes, Thomas!
You're going as fast as you can _in the direction_ you're heading. Sometimes, *not slowing down* keeps up the pace, yet pivots you toward a bad place. Keep up the good work (quality, not necessarily quantity)!
thanks for calming me down, much love
ugh i needed this video thank you
Dearest Thomas, it's always a pleasure to watch your videos, especially when you're showing that you accept you as a human stressful being. 😳😁 Creativity needs time not pressure. You don't have to demand yourself to be better to perfection, but do whatever you're in with the feeling that you did your best for that moment in respect to your viewer. Accepting mistakes and the so called weakness shows how strong and intelligent you are. Thanks for all the beautiful work you've been airing. LOVE, LIVE, LEARN n LAUGH MAC
I really appreciate how raw and authentic you expressed this to the world. Burnout is real. It happens to everyone at some point in their lives and how you have handled it inspires me to see burnout as a recovering process. Thank you. This is the perfect video for what I need right now.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Why DO we pressure ourselves so much to our own detriment? Today was an “unplugged “ video”…relaxed, I loved it, easy to learn from.
Awesome video Thomas,
It has helped me a lot, since I also experienced the first signs of burnout this this week.
Thank you for sharing. I'm going through this now and it's pretty crumby. It almost feels like there's not way out and I can totally relate to the cynical viewpoints.
Homeschool mom here! Just getting past "burn out" myself. Thanks for this!
I need to work on taking a break...
I’ve been working too hard for too long.
Thank you
As a grad student in Europe, I see a burnout coming quite soon but unfortunately I can't do anything about it but keep studying and try not to think too much about it.
Thank you for this video! I am new here and I just bumped into your channel and I didn't realize I had exactly what you are going thru. But it feels like I can't escape. I'm the breadwinner in our family and also a mom so I'm really just confused. But thanks to you now I can recognize what I'm going through now.
I am glad you recover
I too have unrealistic ideas about what future me can accomplish. The nice thing is that my work (teaching music) is cyclical by nature and whether or not I learn from past scheduling mistakes, I do have a lighter workload during the summer.
This video came just at the right moment. Thanks, Tom! 😁😁😁
Glad you found your way out of your burn out! 😊
also i loved the just talking head shot here this was such a vibe
I think you are such an efficient man I knew,never thought of you would burn out too,Maybe more efficient does not means more time,more relax,but sometimes I find it is hard to slow down,feels like I can not control my own mind which is bad
Really appreciate you doing this video!
Nice and refreshing to see a raw Thomas.
I know it might be surprising to you that this might be your best video yet
A lot of times you seem like a machine, constantly producing. It's good for us "humans" to see that even you are human.
Glad your well
Keep healthy!!!
couldnt relate more.. Thank you for this video. Hope you are fine now!!
to be honest, i was feeling burned out myself before watching this video. thanks for Thomas for making it at right time
This is probably your best video, man. Or maybe because I went through the very same realizations just couple of months ago :D so relatable and TRUE yet takes a lot of time to realize xD
Man this is what i just did for myself.
I was going through a burntout thesedays coz i was studying like 14 hours memorizing all the texts in textbooks to get a perfect score. And i suddenly realized that my brain is getting numb and my concentration skills ran bad. Yep it was burntout. I couldnt study like wht i did in old days. I couldnt perform like that. I was thinking how bad will my Gpa go sth like this making my self feel depressed.
Then i started to admit and try to face this problem by writing down how much GPA im gonna sacrifice . Fortunately my previous Gpa was high enough to cover this problem and I set a conclusion that bottomline was 3.3 to maintain my gpa over 4.0.
and 3.3 was the lowest aim in my life for upcoming test.
So i was kinda shocked but at the same time i felt surprisingly refreshed and even a little bit of happiness. :)
Sometimes people apt to get stressed way much more than how reality goes.
Somehow you always post exactly what's needed at the right time.😄
I have been suffering from burnout off and on since 2019. The main source is my job. I work at a call center, and the work is not evenly distributed. I have tried to address it with leadership, but nothing is getting done. My family is not supportive of my situation. It is rough.
I'm going through some of that. My job, my hobbies and even family/ friends relations are all suffered. I'm getting back, slowly but surely
Thank you for the audio