I would hope her adult children pull together and help their mom get a stable place to live. I feel like she has latched onto this guy to “mother” him and because of her own pattern of men, has ended up with another man prone to violence. Together they won’t get better.
@@SuttonART doesn't mean it's ok for him to hit her. She needs to get away and get clean without him. And stop getting into relationships with abusive men.
women in abusive relationships always cry wolf, the poor victim. and I can say there is NO reason to ever hit a woman, but MOST men would NEVER hit a woman, so when abuse follows a woman around like this, either its an ingrained psychology from her familial abuse, or she is part of the problem. women might not hit men, but i've seen women do such evil and seflish things that are basically the same level of physical abuse. both are horrible. and yes men will batter women, but women will destroy a man's soul and say they are the victim. i can spot a bad women from a mile away and she isn't trustworthy at all.
@@SuttonART addiction doesn't make anyone hit their partners. Look at him here, he's lucid and he understands his own actions. If he was in meth psychosis that would be something different, but she should still leave him either way.
Sutton and Collin both have been hurt by women so they both are projecting here. Stay focused guys. Not your job to over analyze a couple of strangers on RUclips. Take your experience and worry about yourself.
Facts his is a leach he’s a bum period only around because she has money if she didn’t have money, he wouldn’t be around her. He needs a job he’s living on her. How sick is that
He also has children he has let down ,drugs and lifestyle have been put before his two children... addiction is horrendous. I hope they both probably individually rather than as a couple make it through ..x
She went from one abusive relationship to another. He doesn’t love her. He’s using her. She has her own issues…none of which will be helped by him. She was in sober living, going to school and had disability income. She’s extremely co-dependent.
Codependent, addicted to love and alcohol and abuse. It's her reality. No judgment. I appreciate the awareness it brings to some people's reality. I hope it opens some people's eyes.
There's about a 0% chance he got robbed of all that money and cell phone. Dude took that money, got high, and when she had to walk 7 miles in the rain, he made up a story that he could say "well, what about me? I had it even worse"
I immediately thought the same thing. I didn't believe that story at all bc I deal work with addicts & they will steal your sh*t right in front of you, somehow convince you they didn't, then help you look for it.....
I dated a guy just like him 10 yrs ago when I was 24. Hes an abusive leech bringing her down. He'll only get worse. She's old enough to know better. Theyre also both old enough to know about drug couples: they never work out & are destructive toxic trauma bonds.
In 5 months he's hit her, broken several phones and her car windows. I personally don't believe the hold -up story either. If she can't see that this is another abusive relationship - then what will it take? What is she holding on to? It's his using that got them kicked out of sober living and then she relapsed so they could go together to detox again. I'm sorry, but I don't see this relationship working out...
I don't believe he got robbed either. Also, he wasn't even going to elaborate on how the windows got broken. Just wanted to tell a sob story of sleeping in a car with broken windows.
I know exactly what’s going on here with this couple. I was this couple at one point. They met in detox- first mistake. Co-dependency is 10 fold when you’re in active addiction! Especially when you haven’t had a chance to get clean yourself and know who you are again. She had money in the beginning. Sounds to me that’s where their “love” started. He loved that she was able to help support their habits while she loved having his company. These people have no clue who the other person is because they only know each other as addicts. Not trying to sound like that person here but if they were to both sober up- I bet my life they wouldn’t last together. A person on drugs is not the same person they are off of them. I mean she relapsed to go back in to detox with him. That right there says enough for me. They will never get clean together and this cycle will only continue. They need to get away from each other, heal and then see where they’re at least a year or more from now! Irregardless, I still hope the best for them.
The last guy I was with - he left to his parents get off heroin and I planned to wean off separately, then we were going to move elsewhere together. Something I was scared of was what if we didn't like each other as sober people? I never found out bc he ended up back on his original problem drug - meth & I stopped cutting back at the ⅔ mark.
For these type of people (SWU interviewees). They are also the type of people who SHOULD NOT be having kids. It seems fairly common for this polysubstance addicts to have multiple kids that they are estranged from. The cycle continues.
Exactly she’s worried more about this scumbag then her kids Come on if your really want your kids you would do as much as you seek bad relationships or alcohol she hit the F it switch a long time ago!
He is a horrible abusive leach. Throwing a rock through her car window WHEN SHE’S IN THERE could have ended her life. Then mouthing to her “please don’t send me to jail on Christmas” like a big baby. Please !
My anxiety, depression, ADD and PTSD never made me hurt anyone. The brain dead comments saying how “beautiful” they are as a couple is astounding. I hope their kids are okay and loved somewhere 😢
She is so brave to out him for hitting her with him sitting RIGHT THERE. I hope someone in that filming room heard and recognized that cry for help and steps in so she can get out of that situation. I’m so scared that he’s going to beat on her again once they leave for telling on him so publicly.
I don't think she is crying for help right now. She looks very in love (but that's not love) & VERY CO-DEPENDENT. Her being older than him & taking care of him like she should be doing her kids, speaks volumes. What do you think some1 will doin that room? Until she realizes, ON HER OWN, that this is unhealthy & is ready to do something different, she will not allow him to go to jail & face consequences, nor will she leave him. She is so attached to him that she knows the exact date they became a couple & she is holding on to him for dear life. During her many volatile relationships, she learned helplessness & that she is a victim but doesn't appear to be able to see how she has to actively work to be in a better place.
Looking at her body language, I wouldn't consider that a cry for help. She's getting something out of the relationship, and she's choosing to stay. It isn't anything healthy, but they're both broken.
@TheScotian82 why can't a viewer be scared for someone on this channel? That is what this channel is about, sympathy, empathy, learning about the world out there and its people. And talking about it with other.concerned viewers.
Agreed with the other commenter. She could be doing acrylics herself or just using press ons. My younger sister has a friend that does hers for free because my sister will do her hair so they just swap services.
From the moment she gave in to his pleas not to press charges on Christmas, he knew he had total control. That’s what he was looking for and now he knows she will do anything to keep him with her. Very sad and only bad is going to come from this. It’s only a matter of time before he beats her again…he’s a big guy and she’s going to get hurt badly. I hate to think of what happened after this interview with her openly telling Mark what he did to her and the car. He sat there, mute, with evil in his eyes.
Sadly, Dre is still dating abusers/users. Justin is no different. He's just not as bad.. yet. 😢 Dre, you're worth more. Get your kids, please. You are good enough.
@@bridgetalexander2158girls without father figure get mixed up with guys like this. He’s only worried about himself and is a loose cannon. He needs to be with a bratty 25+ to suit his maturity level.Seems like neither of these quite exactly act their age.
Dre get away from this abuser it’s only gunna get worse 😢ur beautiful there are good men out there ❤he’s not a good man 😢get away while u can cause he’s not worth it .I’ve been there from 14 years old to 29 years old .An I had two babies with that man .Finally he met someone that didn’t want me there so that was my chance to get away .
She's holding on to his arm like he's going to float away. Sorry sweetheart but your choice in men and not believing you can take care of yourself without a partner is the common denominator. You need to get away from him and be alone for at least a year...
@@thematriarchy2075 no I have zero words for him, he's a loser and a lost cause IMO! Any Man that hits a woman isn't a man and I have no time for them... They say never get into a relationship when you are in recovery, this is why.
@@N_i_s_h_a_n-x8w hopefully the recovery center will see what's happening and separate them. If she gets some sober time away from him that should be enough for her to forget he even exists...
I use to use alcohol as an excuse for my anxiety. She had 14 months sober, she can do it. Her anxiety will make it feel harder to breathe but not impossible. Life’s tough girl. You got 5 kids looking up to you. Your cells stop regenerating so quickly as you get older and I’m happy I was able to quit at 25 after 7 years of drinking. I’m rooting for you and your kids. The other guy, you should try and be sober for your daughters as well. My dad changed the whole trajectory of my life without even knowing it, I imagine your life choices have a pretty profound effect on them. Best of luck.
I agree with this completely. But I still have to say, there was something a bit refreshing about them talking about such domestic things as sprucing up their room, a storage unit full of stuff, and wrapping holiday gifts. You just don't see that a lot with people on this channel.
I teach the children of addicts often as I am a special ed teacher in LA county. Nearly all have been in long term foster situations their whole lives and every couple of years their bio mom has another sibling that the foster family takes in, each with even worse problems than the last child. They don’t truly understand the permanent and severe damage they’re doing to their kids. Lifelong debilitating disabilities and extreme mental illness/trauma. I try to watch these videos to build empathy for the bio parents, I hate the hate I have in my heart for them seeing the impact every day.
Your reaction is 100% natural IMHO. I know so many people whose parents had their last sip of alcohol the day they learned they were expecting a child, and what different lives they lead than those of us whose parents did not make that brave choice. The biggest lie I’ve ever heard an addict say is: “I’m not hurting anyone. I raised my kids and now I’m just living my own life.” It doesn’t work that way, period. Once you bring another life into this world, the games/lies/mental gymnastics stop if you want your child to have a fighting chance. I also see a lot of comments in favor of Dre and her struggles, but I would bet money she is no more a wounded, innocent soul than Justin is.
respect for speaking out. I think its a real shame that social services doesn't step in faster . Foster care is a nightmare and the screening process for that is a joke. We need better social workers in public schools. learning cant happen with parents like these.
These two are the examples of never learning from mistakes and doing better. “Fixing” bad choices by making more bad choices. They’ll make excuses til they run out of breath and blame everything but themselves for what happens.
Perfectly said comment,I have a niece and a little brother who are exactly like these two people,I have spent countless hours trying to help them,in their eyes it’s everyone else’s fault,and the cycle continues over and over again,you have to truly want help ,very sad 😞
hard to tell what is even actually driving them to do drugs when all they will say is how great all the opportunities for them are. My impression was they're just lying near constantly throughout the interview because they don't want to admit, especially to themselves, how far down drugs have taken them.
Apparently, it's rare, and I completely understand why, but my girlfriend and I are both addicts, but are building an awesome life together over the past 6 or 7 years. We didn't meet in treatment or anything, we actually both had a couple of years sober before we met, but none the less, we are two sickies actively working on building a swelly life. 😂 Side note: we both have great jobs, own our home, and are currently designing and planning to build our " dream home " on 15 acres. We have found success, but I still wouldn't recommend taking this road. It tends to hardly ever work out well.
@@weirdmood8102 yall are definitely unicorns when it comes to that … I’m really happy that it worked out for you… you did say one important thing in there you didn’t meet in treatment and you were both a couple years sober before meeting so it sounds like you worked on yourselves first and I think that’s why it’s working… wish yall all the best💜💜
This guy was in treatment hitting on a 19yo, writing her sex notes on her first day. They kicked him out because of it. This was last week; 100% fact because I was there.
he gets mad and smashes phones. he gets mad and smashes the windows out of her car. he gets mad, beats her and won't let her out of the car. yet she says her regret is not having correctly dealt with an abusive ex-husband?
Did she really say she got a job working graveyards at a mental health facility for struggling teens!!??😮 Shes got way too much work to do on herself first. She alliws herself to be a punching bag for this idiot so shes in no position to counsel teens.
"We met in detox" There's your first mistake right there. His story about getting robbed sounds shady too. He got held at gun point by 3 people, they stole everything but the car and didn't get police involved? Guaranteed he spent all the money & sold everything he had for drugs and told her he got robbed.
@@johnnybiggunz1141 Yep! I was an addict myself for many years (Early 2000's Oxy scene with multiple doctors) I would come up with the most unbelievable stories to not only cover my lie but to try to make people feel bad for me. Playing the victim was my thing (aren't all addicts the victim though? lol) The stories were so far fetched too but as an addict, I thought they were believable. lol Thankfully I've been clean now for like 14 years!
So she regrets lying to the police about her first abusive boyfriend hitting her, but then retracts her statement to the police about this abusive boyfriend hitting her? 🤔 She needs to stop chasing after these men and take care of herself and her kids.
Listen to him describe their life at Sober Living. Getting disability and enjoying life, going walking, shopping, hiking, to the beach, etc. They both seem to feel so entitled to get funded and not WORK. She's "family oriented" but is not raising her FIVE kids. Pathetic. Newsflash: Everyone deals with anxiety and depression.
You can do this on your own Dre. Go home to your family. You’re working and you can keep moving forward and make a better life for yourself. Stay strong and stand on your own two feet ❤
I know this isn’t very helpful but Dre that extreme anxiety you’re feeling is alcohol withdrawals. I know the feeling & i didn’t understand why my anxiety was so bad after a black out night & i came to learn its withdrawals. it’s an endless cycle though so my heart goes out to you.
She says she's blacking out after 2 drinks. You develop a tolerance over time, not the other way around (from what I know). You are spot on, and she should know from her "rehab" stints that alcohol withdrawal causes big anxiety.
Accountability is what they need, not anxiety meds and psychiatrists and more labels added onto their list of what they can get prescribed more pills for. Go to treatment, detox, stay in treatment, get your brain functioning off drugs. All the symptoms that they’re describing are what happens when you are addicted to drugs and alcohol and living on the streets
I was thinking that too ! of course she gets anxious if she’s not drinking, she’s an alcoholic And he gets violent when he’s coming down off drugs. They need to separate and get their mind right with treatment or rehab .
People get as many diagnosis as possible so they can get on disability. I took care of a young guy that at first we thought it had a heart attack. He was really excited because he thought he was going to be able to get on disability.
She enables negative violent behavior. She needs to get her priorities straight, cut her losses and get rid of him. He is an abuser and it will not get better.
Addiction is emotional… sometimes people get addicted to certain kinds of relationships… My heart goes out to them both, especially to her. She deserves so much better from people.
I don't think him being off meds is the reason for the beating. I think he held back until then it's only been 5mos. Addicted couples don't work for a reason because it's an issue you need to work with ON YOUR OWN . I hope nothing but the best for their sobriety, but that's an individual decision, not a joint, until one of them see that the odds are against them.
I know she will believe what she wants. She will twist her reality so that she can keep on going. Facts: you are not a team player if you notify your bosses the day that you decide to go to rehab. But that's the least of your worries. Facts, no rehab in this galaxy wants two people still in their addiction to be together. She says it helps to be together when it gets dark. It's dark now. Facts, no relationship survives violence unless the couple have years of a loving, respectful relationship before one snaps. The truth is once anyone puts their hands on you, no matter how they cry, promise and have excuses, they know they hit you once and got away with it. This will only get worse. Also, why would anyone want to take your car keys but not the car, he spent that money, UNLESS YOU SAW A POLICE REPORT. But even then he could have made a false report. I had a friend do that to me. Facts, it was at Christmas that he chose to hit you, throw a rock through your windows, he did that, not you. You mentioned how you always went home for Christmas but instead you entertain his infantile actions. Your attention was on him. FACT. .., look at what he does when you are speaking of your family and your dad, 30:24. He is bored with you. But he won't leave a meal ticket. Facts, No Man who claims to love you would want only you trying to build towards a life. There is no reason for him to let you bust your rump alone so you both can survive. Being a couple means both people work at it. Working at life, with no help means you are single. Trust me, eventually you will resent him and eventually you will hate him. He will use you, beat you down and leave you for a girl his age. And you will circle the drain. Why, because a guy like this recognizes a girl who is already vulnerable. How do I know all this? Except for the out of control addictions and homelessness, I had a guy just like this. As long as you accept his behavior he will test you. You absolutely deserve better. Your children deserve to have a mother even if they are grown. You will never find yourself if you are busy with him.
Out of all the comments here, this is the one Dre should consider. You're speaking of a harsh truth, and she needs a reality check badly. Glad you made it out and lived to talk about it. Sounds like you've learned a lifetime full of lessons.
Exactly. She's too beautiful to not easily meet someone who helps support her emotionally and financially. This guy is immature, abusive to her, and testing her boundaries with his own BS probably right after he heard her history with her ex. No guy who truly loves you will ruin a holiday like that for you, and especially not lay his hands on you or destroy your property
These two play the victim role very well. This woman can’t make a good decision to literally save her life. Why would you have 5 kids with an abusive husband? Their so called diagnosis are suspect. I genuinely think she’s an alcoholic but that’s it. These two play off one another so well. Poor poor me oh poor me oh poor us. I wish I could sit down and talk to the both of them because I don’t have enough time to write everything. In short they really feel sorry for themselves and play the victim too much. The abuse from him has nothing to with the lack of medication. Doing drugs, staying up for days at a time I’m sure and coming down off of them will make you lose your mind and freak out on people.
You sound like an abuser apologist. Those who have been heavily abused aren’t just going to walk up and leave. Use some of the brain cells you have left to think that maybe she was forced or manipulated to have children. I pray you don’t breed either
Have you been raped until you bleed? That’s trauma it’s not playing a victim she is a victim as hasn’t found her power yet. Jesus Christ you are absolutely blind to the fact real victims exist and it takes time to become whole again. This comment disgusts me how you feel so comfortable saying this, and 20 people give it a like too !? I truly hope whatever you are going through gets better for you.
She really dint. I think she had only 4 by him. The 5th is that last dude. Hard to tell tho really. The other 4 maybe different dads also. I just don’t understand why women get. Stay and have baby’s with people like that. Especially the kid thing. That’s the last thing a person struggling to maintain needs. It never helps.
@@Scummy_shovel I know, right? I thought the same thing. All you hear is that they can’t get away time after time. “ I’d say, well you’re going to have to kill me because I’m out.” If not you’re going to continue a life not worth living if you stay. Make a stand for yourself!
I speak from experience when I say: Get rid of the storage space. Before you know it, you've spent more on fees than the value of your "stuff". More often, folks miss one payment and forfeit their belongings. Take out your ID documents, any valuable jewelry, and your photos. Get a small safety deposit box. Spend that $ on car repair, insurance, and registration. You don't want to lose your car. It's your most important belonging right now.
Yep. This man is waaaaay bad for her. She talks so non chalantly about the violent things he's done to further her destruction. He listens to her vulnerability and manipulates her weaknesses. He stays quiet because what does he have to offer her? No goals or future plans coming from him beyond detox. Loooooser.
…… she is caring for teens with mental health disabilities while in this condition 😮 y’all need to be drug screening the people who are caring for the most vulnerable.
Trauma bonding feels real. He beat her when she wanted to leave. Only because she can get drug money by prostituting herself and it will be harder for him to get high. Been through this myself
I always wonder where these women find the space and money to have these outrageous nails and she says she’s family oriented!! Are you kidding. Five kids and living in a car with an addict. Insane just insane. He’s toxic for her and she’s addicted to abuse. She mistakes abuse for love.
I met someone in rehab and was in an abusive relationship for 5 years until i moved to another state to get away from him. There is a reason they tell you not to date people you meet in rehab. And theres a reason they tell you not to get into a relationship within the first year of sobriety. It never ends up going well...
I’m not buying the story off his robbery. Sorry, addicts lie and come up with some of the best stories. That’s what they are, a story. Dre, please start trying to love yourself. This guy will continue to bring you down. I do wish you both the best and hope you can recover.
Watching this at work (nurse on overnight shift) and my coworker thought this was a satirical comedy skit, like it's 2 airhead druggies who make hilarious choices lol. He beat on he and broke her windows, but she didn't want him in jail on Christmas for the 6th year in a row, so she told police not to arrest him. He thanks her by beating her up many more times that night. Oh yeah, and she purposely relapsed "so that they can both go to rehab together" ...but instead, they lost their housing and couldn't go to rehab. What a pure sweet act of sacrifice! They deserve eachother. They really do.
@@michaelmitchell5909I'm not in my twenties and I believe these people are delusional also even if you have everything given to you in life you still might turn out to be a hunter Biden
@michaelmitchell5909 Calm down. You don't need to make assumptions about people nor dictate how they do their jobs unless you don't think nurses deserve lunch breaks.
All that money she spends on alcohol and drugs could go towards her medications honestly. It’s not like alcohol is cheap and if you’re an alcoholic, you’re spending A LOT.
I can identify with the female. Nobody should ever hit anyone ever. I had to learn once the hard way. In a new relationship it sets a precedent. And forgiving is one thing but for me, I resented the person who frightened me. I realized I couldn't ever get past it. And I deserved so much more. Once someone lays hands on you it's over. And I have been alone for more than a decade and it can work. I have hobbies and dogs and I feel needed. I am serious about what I love and I don't have anxiety about being pleasing to anyone if I don't want or need to be. It's self care and self preservation.
same thing happened to me with numerous women, I have been stabbed, had my ribs broke, socked up by 2 diff girlfriends while they were battling their influences/addictions. Both were "beautiful" looking. Both had a grip of followers on social media. What good did that do? empty seeks full, we magnetize these people, self awareness, self love and and boundaries must be our priorities
I really don’t understand the mindset these guys have. Abusing and controlling. Just seems weird. I have always wanted my girl friend to least like me lol. It’s hard to like someone who beats you. And I ah e learned a lot of women like an asshole aggressive type of guy. Ya just can’t be that way with her
@@Scummy_shovelwomen don't like the abuse, they like the emotion. She abuses him mentally to provoke so he will get emotional over her, to an insane level, so she feels secure, ironically. It's a terrible relationship but they both know they can't get anyone 'better' who will put up with their immaturity.
@@craigslist6988 I have for sure seen people who thrive on the drama. It’s almost like they have to have it to even feel good or normal. I don’t get it. Arguments are natural. Can even be healthy. But the violence, abuse and the screaming. I just don’t get it.
It's so hard to stop once you start, I was a successful contractor and I owned my own business, until I had an accident on the job, I fell two stories and broke my back, the doctors automatically put me on oxycodone and I was hooked after the first pill I would have never seen my life turn out the way it did, I now have 19 years clean and sober, I pray they get the help they need, but unfortunately two addicts will get each other high instead of getting each other clean, they stress to you not to get into a relationship in the first year of your sobriety, this is the worse situation these two could possibly be in, unfortunately this will not last.
19 years is incredible... I commend you on your sobriety... I know it can be a struggle... May God continue to bless you and keep you on the right path. @thatpart you too as well
Good for you!!! It's tough stuff! Sounds about right though - in the early 2000's they handed out Oxy's for anything. I had nothing wrong with me besides minor back pain. 800mg of Ibuprofin would have been sufficient but was immediately put on Oxy 20mg and within 6 months was on 80mg Oxy 2 times a day & then was bumped up to 80mg 4 times a day, along with 4 oxy 30mg for "break through pain". It took me many years to get clean, was in & out of rehabs, and finally went to prison. Over 10 years clean!
I almost OD’d and that was the last shot I ever took. After that, I got divorced and left the area. Then I went to nursing school and I was a practicing nurse for almost 50 years. Now I’m retired.
i want to know why he beats people up, does drugs, cant work and she just doesnt want to be alone? supporting him and getting your phone broken and car and beaten up and walking in the rain. Dre.
I met my husband in rehab 30 years ago. The number one thing they tell you is that "rehab romances don't work". And I would think 99% don't. We have been to hell and back. So many ups and downs. He has 20 years clean, I have 6. So you can imagine how those 14 years alone went. We have 2 beautiful, grown, non addicted daughters and even a grandson. I truly believe if it wasn't for him, always there for me no matter what, true unconditional love, I would have died a long time ago. But he never gave up on me. I finally found my way and life is so much easier now! Even on my worst day, it's better than my best day using. Our relationship isn't perfect. But we have a peaceful, healthy relationship today. We will see the end of ours day together. I don't tell this story to tell anyone that to go into one of these relationships. But, it is possible. I still don't know what I did, at the age of 18, to make this man fall in love with me the way he did, but I absolutely cannot and would not want a world without him by my side. Good luck to you both! You are going to need to get clean for yourself and not just for your partner, for it to work!
I’m happy for you and your family. I knew a couple who were substance abuse counselors. Married with kids while they had been in full blown addiction with all the wild drama. They made it to sobriety. We have to keep in mind, nothing is 100%. ❤
Yes, rarely does it work but sometime if the other person is committed it is possible. And you need support and you were so so lucky he got straight!!! Normally not a good idea. Happiness and peace for you all honey!💙🌎
He's a narcissistic leech and feeds off of her lack of self worth, you can see the anger in his eyes. They both have zero sense of accountability and use any and everything as an excuse or crutch. I genuinely am scared for her; this isn't going to end well. I feel bad for their kids more than either of them.
I really resonated with her when she spoke about depression and anxiety and feeling like you can’t breathe. This one hit me harder than the others. I hope she finds healing and peace in this lifetime.
really sad to hear her telling a story of him punching her in the throat while he’s just sitting there with his hand on her leg : ( I’m only a little bit into the interview but , he hits her, punches out the car windows, he relapses, she relapses FOR HIM, .. she’s gotta dump this guy, go to rehab and start getting her life back together
Dre, your words are resonating with me this morning. I have been a daily drinker since I had my last children. I realized this problem was going to escalate so I finally stopped on 1/1. I’m still new to sobriety but I really love it so far. Dre…don’t be so hard on yourself. You can regain control of this. Moms tend to put themselves last after kids and family but your mental and physical health is most important. You can’t be a good mother without prioritizing yourself. Good luck. I believe in you.
Brandy, I hope you continue on your path of sobriety and know that you are worth it. You told Dre that you believe in her, but you should know, I believe in YOU. Stay strong and keep fighting. You deserve the world ❤
Brandy I will be praying for you. You can do it! I've been clean and sober going into my 5th year. It was hard in the beginning, but thank God I never looked back. 🙏 ❤
FYI, she doesn't have to tell her boss the exact reason, just tell the bosses that she is on medical leave and provide doctors note, that's it. I took 2 month off to deal with my mental health and I was advised by my therapist to not mention the exact reason , employers are less empathitic and many frown upon taking time off to deal with mental health.
She needs to get away from that dude and quit being co- dependent. She needs to quit making excuses for why she drinks. Neither one of them want to be sober period. So either she's gonna be 💢 offed. And he will be in jail.
Poor girl. That guy is a real POS. Won’t work. Being supported by a woman. He hits her and breaks her phone and no telling what else. The story about him getting robbed at gun point? I was on drugs for years before getting clean almost 6 years ago and it seems like a story I would have told. It’s more likely that he spent all the Christmas money on drugs and lied about it. If he had been robbed at gun point, why weren’t the police called? Come on dude…
I feel very greatfull for the possibility to witness this story. It helps me to develop empathy and compassion to my fellow human beings, whatever their life story may be. The more "soft white under belly" videos I watch,the more I come to realize "who am I to judge?". It' s a beautiful light feeling of compassion, of understanding,of acceptance. Also, it' s a remainder of what truly matters in life. Stuff like being present in your kids life,while it seems obvious,it won't necesserally be in the day-to-day. Thanks Mark.Thanks interviewees, internet can indeed be a fab tool to help us all grow,whatever corner of the world wide globe we are geografically located (Northern Italia here🙂)
Trauma bonding big time. Hope all the kids are happy and healthy somewhere. These two are grid locked together . Trauma bonding is no joke. It always amazes me when a woman chooses a man, in this case a man and drugs, over her children. She decided to relapse to be with him? Now she works graveyard at a mental health facility that has mentally compromised teens? Are you kidding? OMG! It just gets worse and worse.😮
Nailed it, ya know, the glaringly obvious! I'm honestly concerned about so many other commenters stating how cute they are together. Delusional. Gaslighting. Toxic positivity. This is abuse 101 and a tough one to sit through.
Dre, put yourself first and get away from him. Put yourself first and get clean. You can do it. Rid yourself of anything that is not for your highest and greatest good….getting sober around a guy like him is going to be damn near impossible because of his violent history toward you. I wish you all the best. You’re a beautiful woman who deserves a beautiful life.
Oh man i really don't know what to say about this couple 11:00 ummm I've known couples like this and unfortunately I've been on the other end of violence in a relationship. My ex would blackout drunk and throw stuff at me, punch me and even held a knife to my neck! Needless to say i left her years ago and haven't regretted it. I love her but i can't live like that! Who knows if i stayed i might not even be alive! Abusive relationships suck
Yea abusive relationships suck ! It robs you of your worth and self esteem and really fukkkks with your head. I left one 2 years ago ! Sending Dre the love she needs to take care of herself first ! Drop this guy like a hot potato!
Lol why was the funniest part of this when he beat her up and broke her windows, then she told police not to arrest him .... then he tells her "don't worry baby, I'll tell my MOM to fix your windows tomorrow" lol.
Crazy question, but how do they manage to get their nails done but they’re homeless? I know that it’s possible but that would be the last thing on my mind
I have an addict family member so I totally get it but this is why you are heavily warned to not connect romantically with another addict. 99% of the time it becomes double team active addiction. Hard to resist when you feel so alone and vulnerable and addicts are often some very beautiful wounded souls.
My 57 year old brother was admitted into hospital here in the UK for DT ‘s off alcohol, he lives in another world in his head & it looks like he isn’t coming out of it 😔😢. His partner is an alcoholic & offered to care for him🤦🏼♀️ … I don’t think so….. so sad for all addicts, I feel your pain as a watcher & now watching it close to home. ❤️🩹🇬🇧
nothing about this story makes any sense. the entire him breaking the window, police coming, mom fixing the window thing is like…what on earth? they’re also heavily dependent on all sorts of psychotropic drugs, are codependent, have some sort of trauma bond going on….also who calls their ex fiance mr. machado?! i’m more confused than when they started.
Don’t forget she apparently got a job at a mental health facility for teens …while she’s in active addiction? That story was as bs as him getting robbed
Dre, get rid of this guy and find your own path to peace. He’s going to end up hurting you physically or he’s going to ruin your job opportunities. You need to seek help for yourself. He’s using you for what little security you guys have. It will be much easier for you to sober up than it will be for him to get clean from all of the drugs. He’s a weight you do not need.
Addicts are wild, along with the human condition. You punched out your car and your woman but you're talking about having a storage unit full of stuff. So disconnected.
I feel sorry for her.. she really doesn’t need to hold onto this guy. He’s a handsome guy so she probably doesn’t want to lose him since she’s older. But she doesn’t deserve to be with someone so selfish and physically abusive. She can stand in her own two feet and find a good guy who won’t beat on her and destroy her life.
She has emotional baggage and unresolved trauma she has gravitated towards abuse because she had a weak or fragmented family structure ; lack of fatherly role as i recall she said . So she accepts aggressive men to allow her space to fulfill submissive role and earn acceptance (or whats that word they use so often?...validation) I dont know of another word but im sure theres a better one out there or wish one were created long ago for that void and how one goes about it. Maybe pathologically intentional ; everyone wants something and for some reason we just all label things and never really understand ourselves and only seek to make self worth a focal point or a mantra to patch or solve issues. Feeling too philosophical not feeling inspired to solve this ongoing issue. She needs to call shots or realize things arent going to change unless they make a complete turn around and truly want to change but I see no remorse from a man that hit a woman whatsoever.
I hope this woman finds the strength to get out of her relationship and get sober on her own
Amen to that!!
a messed up couple
She's the problem
I would hope her adult children pull together and help their mom get a stable place to live. I feel like she has latched onto this guy to “mother” him and because of her own pattern of men, has ended up with another man prone to violence. Together they won’t get better.
Agree!!!! She’s better off without him!
He hit you, he doesn't love you! Leave him, get clean and go back to school. You'll do much better without a violent addict.
@@SuttonART doesn't mean it's ok for him to hit her. She needs to get away and get clean without him. And stop getting into relationships with abusive men.
women in abusive relationships always cry wolf, the poor victim. and I can say there is NO reason to ever hit a woman, but MOST men would NEVER hit a woman, so when abuse follows a woman around like this, either its an ingrained psychology from her familial abuse, or she is part of the problem. women might not hit men, but i've seen women do such evil and seflish things that are basically the same level of physical abuse. both are horrible. and yes men will batter women, but women will destroy a man's soul and say they are the victim. i can spot a bad women from a mile away and she isn't trustworthy at all.
@@SuttonART addiction doesn't make anyone hit their partners. Look at him here, he's lucid and he understands his own actions. If he was in meth psychosis that would be something different, but she should still leave him either way.
Sutton and Collin both have been hurt by women so they both are projecting here. Stay focused guys. Not your job to over analyze a couple of strangers on RUclips. Take your experience and worry about yourself.
I totally agree.
He's a leach and my heart sunk when she says she has 5 kids. She chooses drugs and men over her kids. Their story here is just.... Tough one to Watch.
Facts his is a leach he’s a bum period only around because she has money if she didn’t have money, he wouldn’t be around her. He needs a job he’s living on her. How sick is that
@@amandaadzima1764 He needs to run back to mommy! I really think he has "Mommy issues".....
She isn't choosing drugs/alcohol over her kids. It's a disease so she has no choice in the matter. Her brain won't let her be until she takes a drink
Yeah it’s sad.
By her leaving her kids for this man, she is creating more of him out of her own male children.
He also has children he has let down ,drugs and lifestyle have been put before his two children... addiction is horrendous. I hope they both probably individually rather than as a couple make it through ..x
She went from one abusive relationship to another. He doesn’t love her. He’s using her. She has her own issues…none of which will be helped by him. She was in sober living, going to school and had disability income. She’s extremely co-dependent.
yep she needs long term therapy and needs to leave him. he’s bringing her down
Codependent, addicted to love and alcohol and abuse. It's her reality. No judgment. I appreciate the awareness it brings to some people's reality. I hope it opens some people's eyes.
Who gives a fuck if he hasn’t had a Christmas! He broke your windows and was violent with you! Get rid of him. He’s only dragging you down
she,s has regular money coming in etc.................
And his MOM was going to fix his broken windows for him. UGH
There's about a 0% chance he got robbed of all that money and cell phone.
Dude took that money, got high, and when she had to walk 7 miles in the rain, he made up a story that he could say "well, what about me? I had it even worse"
Bingo!!!!
I knew it
100%
Yup. Don't forget losing the keys. No shot that some guys took the keys but not the car.
I immediately thought the same thing. I didn't believe that story at all bc I deal work with addicts & they will steal your sh*t right in front of you, somehow convince you they didn't, then help you look for it.....
I dated a guy just like him 10 yrs ago when I was 24. Hes an abusive leech bringing her down. He'll only get worse. She's old enough to know better. Theyre also both old enough to know about drug couples: they never work out & are destructive toxic trauma bonds.
Ok
Trauma and addiction don't care about age.
Yep! Hostage takers.
Me too… he took me for every penny I made to use drugs. Some men are total Leaches
In 5 months he's hit her, broken several phones and her car windows. I personally don't believe the hold -up story either. If she can't see that this is another abusive relationship - then what will it take? What is she holding on to? It's his using that got them kicked out of sober living and then she relapsed so they could go together to detox again. I'm sorry, but I don't see this relationship working out...
I don't believe he got robbed either. Also, he wasn't even going to elaborate on how the windows got broken. Just wanted to tell a sob story of sleeping in a car with broken windows.
@@tiffanyandrus08well said. Didn't believe it either
The robbery by gunpoint sounds like a cover-up for cheating on her or something tbh
Don’t forget to add he recently got fired 😒
She is sick
I know exactly what’s going on here with this couple. I was this couple at one point. They met in detox- first mistake. Co-dependency is 10 fold when you’re in active addiction! Especially when you haven’t had a chance to get clean yourself and know who you are again. She had money in the beginning. Sounds to me that’s where their “love” started. He loved that she was able to help support their habits while she loved having his company. These people have no clue who the other person is because they only know each other as addicts. Not trying to sound like that person here but if they were to both sober up- I bet my life they wouldn’t last together. A person on drugs is not the same person they are off of them. I mean she relapsed to go back in to detox with him. That right there says enough for me. They will never get clean together and this cycle will only continue. They need to get away from each other, heal and then see where they’re at least a year or more from now! Irregardless, I still hope the best for them.
Very well said
Wow..great comment. I was thinking that this guy knows nothing about this woman. And she's just clinging to him, he could be anyone.
It’s called a ‘rehab romance’… been there done that, doesn’t work most of the time!
AMEN. I was this couple too. Met "the love of my life" in rehab 😅 it's all part of the disease of addiction.
The last guy I was with - he left to his parents get off heroin and I planned to wean off separately, then we were going to move elsewhere together. Something I was scared of was what if we didn't like each other as sober people? I never found out bc he ended up back on his original problem drug - meth & I stopped cutting back at the ⅔ mark.
It's amazing how casual people are about leaving their kids behind and starting a new life.
sad situation.. i dont want that life
For these type of people (SWU interviewees). They are also the type of people who SHOULD NOT be having kids. It seems fairly common for this polysubstance addicts to have multiple kids that they are estranged from. The cycle continues.
Going to school full-time? How?
Exactly she’s worried more about this scumbag then her kids
Come on if your really want your kids you would do as much as you seek bad relationships or alcohol she hit the F it switch a long time ago!
He is a horrible abusive leach. Throwing a rock through her car window WHEN SHE’S IN THERE could have ended her life. Then mouthing to her “please don’t send me to jail on Christmas” like a big baby. Please !
Leach seems to be accurate description
@celinemccutcheon1988 He's a drug-addicted narcissist.I can't imagine anything worse.
Loser
Yup and he’s going to keep a hold on her as much as possible cause she’s bringing in money.
He’s hot and she’s not, that’s why. They use each other to fulfill their needs
My anxiety, depression, ADD and PTSD never made me hurt anyone. The brain dead comments saying how “beautiful” they are as a couple is astounding.
I hope their kids are okay and loved somewhere 😢
I absolutely agree.
All them excuse words are only there to excuse all there BS behaviors 🤦🏽♂️I tell you being a victim is one hell of a drug 😂
Agree..like the word beautiful or looks is important in their situation 👀😱
Right the whole time I’m watching this im just feeling so bad for the kids
Right the whole time I’m watching this im just feeling so bad for the kids
She is so brave to out him for hitting her with him sitting RIGHT THERE.
I hope someone in that filming room heard and recognized that cry for help and steps in so she can get out of that situation. I’m so scared that he’s going to beat on her again once they leave for telling on him so publicly.
I don't think she is crying for help right now. She looks very in love (but that's not love) & VERY CO-DEPENDENT. Her being older than him & taking care of him like she should be doing her kids, speaks volumes. What do you think some1 will doin that room? Until she realizes, ON HER OWN, that this is unhealthy & is ready to do something different, she will not allow him to go to jail & face consequences, nor will she leave him. She is so attached to him that she knows the exact date they became a couple & she is holding on to him for dear life. During her many volatile relationships, she learned helplessness & that she is a victim but doesn't appear to be able to see how she has to actively work to be in a better place.
*you're so scared?
Focus on your own life wtf are you doing being "scared" for someone you dont know.
I dont think you are. I think its fake virtue.
Looking at her body language, I wouldn't consider that a cry for help. She's getting something out of the relationship, and she's choosing to stay. It isn't anything healthy, but they're both broken.
@TheScotian82 why can't a viewer be scared for someone on this channel? That is what this channel is about, sympathy, empathy, learning about the world out there and its people. And talking about it with other.concerned viewers.
there is ONE other person in that room. Mark.
I never get how these girls have a full set of acrylics when they're in this type of financial situation lol
Lashes too!
Shes a nice looking woman but I find the nails and eyelashes so unattractive. Very distracting. I pray they recover.
They may do their nails themselves. More & more women are doing this these days…Covid kicked this off.
Agreed with the other commenter. She could be doing acrylics herself or just using press ons. My younger sister has a friend that does hers for free because my sister will do her hair so they just swap services.
Snap ons and ashes are like less than 20 bucks just bc they’re run that situation doenst mean they can’t keep up they’re confidence you dumb bitch
From the moment she gave in to his pleas not to press charges on Christmas, he knew he had total control. That’s what he was looking for and now he knows she will do anything to keep him with her. Very sad and only bad is going to come from this. It’s only a matter of time before he beats her again…he’s a big guy and she’s going to get hurt badly. I hate to think of what happened after this interview with her openly telling Mark what he did to her and the car. He sat there, mute, with evil in his eyes.
Totally!!!! I was thinking the same thing!
She loves chaos
Um , he's hit her, broke car windows to get at her? Get out of that Dre... immediately
@jennifermorrison580 my thoughts exactly! They are not the beautiful couple everyone here is saying they are. He punched her in the throat!!
Sadly, Dre is still dating abusers/users. Justin is no different. He's just not as bad.. yet. 😢 Dre, you're worth more. Get your kids, please. You are good enough.
@@bridgetalexander2158girls without father figure get mixed up with guys like this. He’s only worried about himself and is a loose cannon. He needs to be with a bratty 25+ to suit his maturity level.Seems like neither of these quite exactly act their age.
Dre get away from this abuser it’s only gunna get worse 😢ur beautiful there are good men out there ❤he’s not a good man 😢get away while u can cause he’s not worth it .I’ve been there from 14 years old to 29 years old .An I had two babies with that man .Finally he met someone that didn’t want me there so that was my chance to get away .
My fear is she getting hooked on meth of fent.. that’s my fear
She's holding on to his arm like he's going to float away. Sorry sweetheart but your choice in men and not believing you can take care of yourself without a partner is the common denominator. You need to get away from him and be alone for at least a year...
Oh he’s going somewhere eventually and she knows it.
Yeah, she has 5 kids and a lot of trauma. But he is abusive af so like that would be a good thing if he leaves.
I would say, that the common denominator is violent men. Any words for him? PTSD is a reason why people end up in the same situation over and over.
@@thematriarchy2075 no I have zero words for him, he's a loser and a lost cause IMO! Any Man that hits a woman isn't a man and I have no time for them... They say never get into a relationship when you are in recovery, this is why.
@@N_i_s_h_a_n-x8w hopefully the recovery center will see what's happening and separate them. If she gets some sober time away from him that should be enough for her to forget he even exists...
their biggest illness is their unwillingness to take responsibility for their own actions
The way they cling to each other is gross to me, especially since this dude lured her away from her 5 kids.
I use to use alcohol as an excuse for my anxiety. She had 14 months sober, she can do it. Her anxiety will make it feel harder to breathe but not impossible. Life’s tough girl. You got 5 kids looking up to you. Your cells stop regenerating so quickly as you get older and I’m happy I was able to quit at 25 after 7 years of drinking. I’m rooting for you and your kids. The other guy, you should try and be sober for your daughters as well. My dad changed the whole trajectory of my life without even knowing it, I imagine your life choices have a pretty profound effect on them. Best of luck.
Imagine being their children and seeing this video. 💔
Exactly.
Sometimes the kids are no more awake than the parents. Part of 'the apple not falling far from the tree.' It's a blessing actually
There is never an excuse for hitting a woman. They need to separate and get there life together. He will always continue to hit her even sober. Sad
❤
Hitting either men or women...
She loves it. Didn't you listen?
She is no victim! She brings this on herself! Not saying she deserves to be hit however she enjoys chaos
they seem to be more concerned about the windows in the car than their 7 children.
I agree with this completely. But I still have to say, there was something a bit refreshing about them talking about such domestic things as sprucing up their room, a storage unit full of stuff, and wrapping holiday gifts. You just don't see that a lot with people on this channel.
I teach the children of addicts often as I am a special ed teacher in LA county. Nearly all have been in long term foster situations their whole lives and every couple of years their bio mom has another sibling that the foster family takes in, each with even worse problems than the last child. They don’t truly understand the permanent and severe damage they’re doing to their kids. Lifelong debilitating disabilities and extreme mental illness/trauma. I try to watch these videos to build empathy for the bio parents, I hate the hate I have in my heart for them seeing the impact every day.
Your interview would be interesting! Ever thought about doing one?
Maybe you could do a podcast or write a book. I still read.
Your reaction is 100% natural IMHO. I know so many people whose parents had their last sip of alcohol the day they learned they were expecting a child, and what different lives they lead than those of us whose parents did not make that brave choice.
The biggest lie I’ve ever heard an addict say is: “I’m not hurting anyone. I raised my kids and now I’m just living my own life.” It doesn’t work that way, period. Once you bring another life into this world, the games/lies/mental gymnastics stop if you want your child to have a fighting chance.
I also see a lot of comments in favor of Dre and her struggles, but I would bet money she is no more a wounded, innocent soul than Justin is.
respect for speaking out. I think its a real shame that social services doesn't step in faster . Foster care is a nightmare and the screening process for that is a joke. We need better social workers in public schools. learning cant happen with parents like these.
Some women should be forced to have preventative pregnancy surgery….
She talks about her “past” abusive relationship but doesn’t think she is in a current abusive relationship?
These two are the examples of never learning from mistakes and doing better. “Fixing” bad choices by making more bad choices. They’ll make excuses til they run out of breath and blame everything but themselves for what happens.
Perfectly said comment,I have a niece and a little brother who are exactly like these two people,I have spent countless hours trying to help them,in their eyes it’s everyone else’s fault,and the cycle continues over and over again,you have to truly want help ,very sad 😞
hard to tell what is even actually driving them to do drugs when all they will say is how great all the opportunities for them are. My impression was they're just lying near constantly throughout the interview because they don't want to admit, especially to themselves, how far down drugs have taken them.
@@grahamcarver4527Best to let them know you love them as you step back out of the way of their misery and destruction.
@@craigslist6988PTSD
@@marylougeorge9890 yes 👍🏼 ♥️
I’ve always heard people say two sickies don’t equal a welly. I hope they both find sobriety and self worth.
😂 this made me laugh…
But yeah that’s definitely true 2 sickies does not equal a welly!
Apparently, it's rare, and I completely understand why, but my girlfriend and I are both addicts, but are building an awesome life together over the past 6 or 7 years. We didn't meet in treatment or anything, we actually both had a couple of years sober before we met, but none the less, we are two sickies actively working on building a swelly life. 😂
Side note: we both have great jobs, own our home, and are currently designing and planning to build our " dream home " on 15 acres. We have found success, but I still wouldn't recommend taking this road. It tends to hardly ever work out well.
@@weirdmood8102 yall are definitely unicorns when it comes to that … I’m really happy that it worked out for you… you did say one important thing in there you didn’t meet in treatment and you were both a couple years sober before meeting so it sounds like you worked on yourselves first and I think that’s why it’s working… wish yall all the best💜💜
Two dead batteries don't start a car..
You’ve always heard that?
This guy was in treatment hitting on a 19yo, writing her sex notes on her first day. They kicked him out because of it. This was last week; 100% fact because I was there.
Share more
@@abelsaavedra9568 the first words out of dudes mouth to the group was “are there girls here” haha
Wait where was Dre?
Someone needs to tell this woman
Omg why am I not surprised !
he gets mad and smashes phones. he gets mad and smashes the windows out of her car. he gets mad, beats her and won't let her out of the car. yet she says her regret is not having correctly dealt with an abusive ex-husband?
Did she really say she got a job working graveyards at a mental health facility for struggling teens!!??😮
Shes got way too much work to do on herself first.
She alliws herself to be a punching bag for this idiot so shes in no position to counsel teens.
Their relationship is a train wreck in slow motion.
"We met in detox" There's your first mistake right there.
His story about getting robbed sounds shady too. He got held at gun point by 3 people, they stole everything but the car and didn't get police involved? Guaranteed he spent all the money & sold everything he had for drugs and told her he got robbed.
My thoughts exactly !!!
🎯
Exactly!!! That's what addicts do.
@@johnnybiggunz1141 Yep! I was an addict myself for many years (Early 2000's Oxy scene with multiple doctors) I would come up with the most unbelievable stories to not only cover my lie but to try to make people feel bad for me. Playing the victim was my thing (aren't all addicts the victim though? lol) The stories were so far fetched too but as an addict, I thought they were believable. lol Thankfully I've been clean now for like 14 years!
@@jamie-r2034 awesome ❤️ good for you 🙏🙏
So she regrets lying to the police about her first abusive boyfriend hitting her, but then retracts her statement to the police about this abusive boyfriend hitting her? 🤔 She needs to stop chasing after these men and take care of herself and her kids.
Listen to him describe their life at Sober Living. Getting disability and enjoying life, going walking, shopping, hiking, to the beach, etc. They both seem to feel so entitled to get funded and not WORK. She's "family oriented" but is not raising her FIVE kids. Pathetic. Newsflash: Everyone deals with anxiety and depression.
Truth
Word!
I'm sceptical of this couple.
You can do this on your own Dre. Go home to your family. You’re working and you can keep moving forward and make a better life for yourself. Stay strong and stand on your own two feet ❤
So you honestly believe she is not a big part of the problem
I know this isn’t very helpful but Dre that extreme anxiety you’re feeling is alcohol withdrawals. I know the feeling & i didn’t understand why my anxiety was so bad after a black out night & i came to learn its withdrawals. it’s an endless cycle though so my heart goes out to you.
It’s the dude. She just won’t accept it
Wow! I’m 71 and haven’t drank since 1990. I used to party until I would pass out. The next day I had anxiety. You taught me something. Thank you.
She says she's blacking out after 2 drinks. You develop a tolerance over time, not the other way around (from what I know). You are spot on, and she should know from her "rehab" stints that alcohol withdrawal causes big anxiety.
How long is it? Mike Oxlong? I'm Mike Oxbig btw. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
@@michaelmiller8455 Long. Nice to make your acquaintance Mr Oxbig.
Accountability is what they need, not anxiety meds and psychiatrists and more labels added onto their list of what they can get prescribed more pills for. Go to treatment, detox, stay in treatment, get your brain functioning off drugs. All the symptoms that they’re describing are what happens when you are addicted to drugs and alcohol and living on the streets
Pill seekers
I was thinking that too ! of course she gets anxious if she’s not drinking, she’s an alcoholic And he gets violent when he’s coming down off drugs. They need to separate and get their mind right with treatment or rehab .
Yea well they prescribe those meds because it helps many people get off their drug into sobriety, not all people are ready to get sober though.
People get as many diagnosis as possible so they can get on disability. I took care of a young guy that at first we thought it had a heart attack. He was really excited because he thought he was going to be able to get on disability.
Well said!
She enables negative violent behavior. She needs to get her priorities straight, cut her losses and get rid of him. He is an abuser and it will not get better.
Dre, you're worth so much more. Leave him and go build a life for yourself, you deserve better ❤
Addiction is emotional… sometimes people get addicted to certain kinds of relationships…
My heart goes out to them both, especially to her. She deserves so much better from people.
I don't think him being off meds is the reason for the beating. I think he held back until then it's only been 5mos. Addicted couples don't work for a reason because it's an issue you need to work with ON YOUR OWN . I hope nothing but the best for their sobriety, but that's an individual decision, not a joint, until one of them see that the odds are against them.
I know she will believe what she wants. She will twist her reality so that she can keep on going. Facts: you are not a team player if you notify your bosses the day that you decide to go to rehab. But that's the least of your worries.
Facts, no rehab in this galaxy wants two people still in their addiction to be together. She says it helps to be together when it gets dark. It's dark now.
Facts, no relationship survives violence unless the couple have years of a loving, respectful relationship before one snaps. The truth is once anyone puts their hands on you, no matter how they cry, promise and have excuses, they know they hit you once and got away with it. This will only get worse. Also, why would anyone want to take your car keys but not the car, he spent that money, UNLESS YOU SAW A POLICE REPORT. But even then he could have made a false report. I had a friend do that to me.
Facts, it was at Christmas that he chose to hit you, throw a rock through your windows, he did that, not you. You mentioned how you always went home for Christmas but instead you entertain his infantile actions. Your attention was on him. FACT. .., look at what he does when you are speaking of your family and your dad, 30:24. He is bored with you. But he won't leave a meal ticket. Facts, No Man who claims to love you would want only you trying to build towards a life. There is no reason for him to let you bust your rump alone so you both can survive. Being a couple means both people work at it. Working at life, with no help means you are single. Trust me, eventually you will resent him and eventually you will hate him. He will use you, beat you down and leave you for a girl his age. And you will circle the drain. Why, because a guy like this recognizes a girl who is already vulnerable. How do I know all this? Except for the out of control addictions and homelessness, I had a guy just like this. As long as you accept his behavior he will test you. You absolutely deserve better. Your children deserve to have a mother even if they are grown. You will never find yourself if you are busy with him.
Out of all the comments here, this is the one Dre should consider. You're speaking of a harsh truth, and she needs a reality check badly.
Glad you made it out and lived to talk about it. Sounds like you've learned a lifetime full of lessons.
Amen! On point.
this is one of the best comments here.
Exactly. She's too beautiful to not easily meet someone who helps support her emotionally and financially. This guy is immature, abusive to her, and testing her boundaries with his own BS probably right after he heard her history with her ex. No guy who truly loves you will ruin a holiday like that for you, and especially not lay his hands on you or destroy your property
These two play the victim role very well. This woman can’t make a good decision to literally save her life. Why would you have 5 kids with an abusive husband? Their so called diagnosis are suspect. I genuinely think she’s an alcoholic but that’s it. These two play off one another so well. Poor poor me oh poor me oh poor us. I wish I could sit down and talk to the both of them because I don’t have enough time to write everything. In short they really feel sorry for themselves and play the victim too much. The abuse from him has nothing to with the lack of medication. Doing drugs, staying up for days at a time I’m sure and coming down off of them will make you lose your mind and freak out on people.
You sound like an abuser apologist. Those who have been heavily abused aren’t just going to walk up and leave. Use some of the brain cells you have left to think that maybe she was forced or manipulated to have children. I pray you don’t breed either
Have you been raped until you bleed? That’s trauma it’s not playing a victim she is a victim as hasn’t found her power yet. Jesus Christ you are absolutely blind to the fact real victims exist and it takes time to become whole again. This comment disgusts me how you feel so comfortable saying this, and 20 people give it a like too !? I truly hope whatever you are going through gets better for you.
She really dint. I think she had only 4 by him. The 5th is that last dude. Hard to tell tho really. The other 4 maybe different dads also. I just don’t understand why women get. Stay and have baby’s with people like that. Especially the kid thing. That’s the last thing a person struggling to maintain needs. It never helps.
@@Scummy_shovel I know, right? I thought the same thing. All you hear is that they can’t get away time after time. “ I’d say, well you’re going to have to kill me because I’m out.” If not you’re going to continue a life not worth living if you stay. Make a stand for yourself!
I agree, their (self) ? Mental health diagnosis are definitely suspect.
If he's hitting you this early in the relationship it's only going to get worse. Get out, get away from him, NOW!!!
She loves the chaos! Don’t let this girl fool you
I speak from experience when I say: Get rid of the storage space. Before you know it, you've spent more on fees than the value of your "stuff". More often, folks miss one payment and forfeit their belongings. Take out your ID documents, any valuable jewelry, and your photos. Get a small safety deposit box. Spend that $ on car repair, insurance, and registration. You don't want to lose your car. It's your most important belonging right now.
He didn’t get robbed, he used that as his reason why he didn’t pick you up Dre, and why he was broke. Get away from him!
My thoughts exactly, Royal! He blew her money, lied about it, and left the keys wherever he went to party. He is disgusting.
Yep. This man is waaaaay bad for her. She talks so non chalantly about the violent things he's done to further her destruction. He listens to her vulnerability and manipulates her weaknesses. He stays quiet because what does he have to offer her? No goals or future plans coming from him beyond detox. Loooooser.
@@l.harvey8243 totally agree, Harvey. Well-said.
This couple is annoying. They are their worst enemy. Don’t have money for meds , but they have money for drugs and alcohol.
And don't forget Christmas presents
I was literally thinking the same thing. They did this all to themselves especially her.
She's working 2 jobs...he's taking
So to keep him from missing Christmas, She missed Christmas with her children.
It's so sick.
This is an extremely toxic relationship. I feel so sorry for her
She is fully aware don’t feel sorry for her
@@rawganic5183 she isn't...
Sister you are so much stronger than you know. I wish her nothing but peace, healing, and reuniting with her children ❤
i have a feeling Justin isn't gonna be too happy after this interview, I feel for Dre.
💔
Totally. He looks so pissed off. And I think she is panicking over compensating. She does talk a lot mind
I’m scared she’s gonna get her ass kicked by this garbage
…… she is caring for teens with mental health disabilities while in this condition 😮 y’all need to be drug screening the people who are caring for the most vulnerable.
That was very disturbing to hear.
sounds like she’s taking accountability by saying she’s an alcoholic, recovering or not
Trauma bonding feels real. He beat her when she wanted to leave. Only because she can get drug money by prostituting herself and it will be harder for him to get high. Been through this myself
True.
💯💯💯
What is trauma bonding?
I always wonder where these women find the space and money to have these outrageous nails and she says she’s family oriented!! Are you kidding. Five kids and living in a car with an addict. Insane just insane. He’s toxic for her and she’s addicted to abuse. She mistakes abuse for love.
I met someone in rehab and was in an abusive relationship for 5 years until i moved to another state to get away from him. There is a reason they tell you not to date people you meet in rehab. And theres a reason they tell you not to get into a relationship within the first year of sobriety. It never ends up going well...
I’m not buying the story off his robbery. Sorry, addicts lie and come up with some of the best stories. That’s what they are, a story.
Dre, please start trying to love yourself. This guy will continue to bring you down.
I do wish you both the best and hope you can recover.
Watching this at work (nurse on overnight shift) and my coworker thought this was a satirical comedy skit, like it's 2 airhead druggies who make hilarious choices lol.
He beat on he and broke her windows, but she didn't want him in jail on Christmas for the 6th year in a row, so she told police not to arrest him. He thanks her by beating her up many more times that night. Oh yeah, and she purposely relapsed "so that they can both go to rehab together" ...but instead, they lost their housing and couldn't go to rehab. What a pure sweet act of sacrifice! They deserve eachother. They really do.
And they only know eachother for few months.
@@michaelmitchell5909I'm not in my twenties and I believe these people are delusional also even if you have everything given to you in life you still might turn out to be a hunter Biden
@@michaelmitchell5909
So you’re basically a hater!
@michaelmitchell5909 Calm down. You don't need to make assumptions about people nor dictate how they do their jobs unless you don't think nurses deserve lunch breaks.
@@michaelmitchell5909 You mad bro?
Dre run away from Justin. As far as you can!!! Save yourself girl. You got a better chance to do so away from him.
Always remember its better to lose a lover then love a loser
All that money she spends on alcohol and drugs could go towards her medications honestly. It’s not like alcohol is cheap and if you’re an alcoholic, you’re spending A LOT.
She needs to get away from him as you can see she wants to get help and has her head screwd on
I can identify with the female. Nobody should ever hit anyone ever. I had to learn once the hard way. In a new relationship it sets a precedent. And forgiving is one thing but for me, I resented the person who frightened me. I realized I couldn't ever get past it. And I deserved so much more. Once someone lays hands on you it's over. And I have been alone for more than a decade and it can work. I have hobbies and dogs and I feel needed. I am serious about what I love and I don't have anxiety about being pleasing to anyone if I don't want or need to be. It's self care and self preservation.
Yup me to I had 1 relationship in my life and he was abusive once that relationship ended. I have been happily single for almost 9 years and I love it
same thing happened to me with numerous women, I have been stabbed, had my ribs broke, socked up by 2 diff girlfriends while they were battling their influences/addictions. Both were "beautiful" looking. Both had a grip of followers on social media. What good did that do? empty seeks full, we magnetize these people, self awareness, self love and and boundaries must be our priorities
I really don’t understand the mindset these guys have. Abusing and controlling. Just seems weird. I have always wanted my girl friend to least like me lol. It’s hard to like someone who beats you. And I ah e learned a lot of women like an asshole aggressive type of guy. Ya just can’t be that way with her
@@Scummy_shovelwomen don't like the abuse, they like the emotion. She abuses him mentally to provoke so he will get emotional over her, to an insane level, so she feels secure, ironically. It's a terrible relationship but they both know they can't get anyone 'better' who will put up with their immaturity.
@@craigslist6988 I have for sure seen people who thrive on the drama. It’s almost like they have to have it to even feel good or normal. I don’t get it. Arguments are natural. Can even be healthy. But the violence, abuse and the screaming. I just don’t get it.
It's so hard to stop once you start, I was a successful contractor and I owned my own business, until I had an accident on the job, I fell two stories and broke my back, the doctors automatically put me on oxycodone and I was hooked after the first pill I would have never seen my life turn out the way it did, I now have 19 years clean and sober, I pray they get the help they need, but unfortunately two addicts will get each other high instead of getting each other clean, they stress to you not to get into a relationship in the first year of your sobriety, this is the worse situation these two could possibly be in, unfortunately this will not last.
I believe if they were clean they wouldn't even be together.
My addiction began the same way. Happy to hear you've got a bunch of years clean! I have a little over three years. One day at a time.
19 years is incredible... I commend you on your sobriety... I know it can be a struggle... May God continue to bless you and keep you on the right path. @thatpart you too as well
Good for you!!! It's tough stuff! Sounds about right though - in the early 2000's they handed out Oxy's for anything. I had nothing wrong with me besides minor back pain. 800mg of Ibuprofin would have been sufficient but was immediately put on Oxy 20mg and within 6 months was on 80mg Oxy 2 times a day & then was bumped up to 80mg 4 times a day, along with 4 oxy 30mg for "break through pain". It took me many years to get clean, was in & out of rehabs, and finally went to prison. Over 10 years clean!
I almost OD’d and that was the last shot I ever took. After that, I got divorced and left the area. Then I went to nursing school and I was a practicing nurse for almost 50 years. Now I’m retired.
Do we really think he got robbed at gun point? Or he just twisted off spent money , sold the phone , then lost the car keys?
Exactly
I feel that this is not the end of the abuse between them.
She should get rid of him, get into treatment and learn she is better off without him.
i want to know why he beats people up, does drugs, cant work and she just doesnt want to be alone? supporting him and getting your phone broken and car and beaten up and walking in the rain. Dre.
I met my husband in rehab 30 years ago. The number one thing they tell you is that "rehab romances don't work". And I would think 99% don't. We have been to hell and back. So many ups and downs. He has 20 years clean, I have 6. So you can imagine how those 14 years alone went. We have 2 beautiful, grown, non addicted daughters and even a grandson. I truly believe if it wasn't for him, always there for me no matter what, true unconditional love, I would have died a long time ago. But he never gave up on me. I finally found my way and life is so much easier now! Even on my worst day, it's better than my best day using. Our relationship isn't perfect. But we have a peaceful, healthy relationship today. We will see the end of ours day together. I don't tell this story to tell anyone that to go into one of these relationships. But, it is possible. I still don't know what I did, at the age of 18, to make this man fall in love with me the way he did, but I absolutely cannot and would not want a world without him by my side. Good luck to you both! You are going to need to get clean for yourself and not just for your partner, for it to work!
I’m happy for you and your family. I knew a couple who were substance abuse counselors. Married with kids while they had been in full blown addiction with all the wild drama. They made it to sobriety.
We have to keep in mind, nothing is 100%. ❤
Yes, rarely does it work but sometime if the other person is committed it is possible. And you need support and you were so so lucky he got straight!!! Normally not a good idea. Happiness and peace for you all honey!💙🌎
Yours is a very rare out come! Happy for you ❤
He's a narcissistic leech and feeds off of her lack of self worth, you can see the anger in his eyes. They both have zero sense of accountability and use any and everything as an excuse or crutch. I genuinely am scared for her; this isn't going to end well. I feel bad for their kids more than either of them.
Spot on!
I really resonated with her when she spoke about depression and anxiety and feeling like you can’t breathe. This one hit me harder than the others. I hope she finds healing and peace in this lifetime.
really sad to hear her telling a story of him punching her in the throat while he’s just sitting there with his hand on her leg : ( I’m only a little bit into the interview but , he hits her, punches out the car windows, he relapses, she relapses FOR HIM, .. she’s gotta dump this guy, go to rehab and start getting her life back together
Relapsing for him sounds like so much addict BS.
This reminds me of the Robin Givens ,Mike Tyson interview. She is screaming for help. When is he going to get a job and man up.
Dre, your words are resonating with me this morning. I have been a daily drinker since I had my last children. I realized this problem was going to escalate so I finally stopped on 1/1. I’m still new to sobriety but I really love it so far.
Dre…don’t be so hard on yourself. You can regain control of this. Moms tend to put themselves last after kids and family but your mental and physical health is most important. You can’t be a good mother without prioritizing yourself.
Good luck. I believe in you.
Brandy, I hope you continue on your path of sobriety and know that you are worth it. You told Dre that you believe in her, but you should know, I believe in YOU. Stay strong and keep fighting. You deserve the world ❤
Happy 17th day sober! Please keep going!! ❤❤
Keep it up! 💯
Brandy I will be praying for you. You can do it! I've been clean and sober going into my 5th year. It was hard in the beginning, but thank God I never looked back. 🙏 ❤
Congrats on sobriety best of luck to you
She needs to get away from him. There is no future with this guy.
Leave him and get sober girl.
Girl…RUN! You have been through enough abuse. You can do bad by yourself. He needs to learn to keep his hands to himself.
FYI, she doesn't have to tell her boss the exact reason, just tell the bosses that she is on medical leave and provide doctors note, that's it. I took 2 month off to deal with my mental health and I was advised by my therapist to not mention the exact reason , employers are less empathitic and many frown upon taking time off to deal with mental health.
She needs to get away from that dude and quit being co- dependent. She needs to quit making excuses for why she drinks. Neither one of them want to be sober period. So either she's gonna be 💢 offed. And he will be in jail.
Typical case of a toxic relationship, they will never get clean
Poor girl. That guy is a real POS. Won’t work. Being supported by a woman. He hits her and breaks her phone and no telling what else. The story about him getting robbed at gun point? I was on drugs for years before getting clean almost 6 years ago and it seems like a story I would have told. It’s more likely that he spent all the Christmas money on drugs and lied about it. If he had been robbed at gun point, why weren’t the police called? Come on dude…
100
She’s 42, not a girl
I feel very greatfull for the possibility to witness this story. It helps me to develop empathy and compassion to my fellow human beings, whatever their life story may be. The more "soft white under belly" videos I watch,the more I come to realize "who am I to judge?". It' s a beautiful light feeling of compassion, of understanding,of acceptance.
Also, it' s a remainder of what truly matters in life.
Stuff like being present in your kids life,while it seems obvious,it won't necesserally be in the day-to-day.
Thanks Mark.Thanks interviewees, internet can indeed be a fab tool to help us all grow,whatever corner of the world wide globe we are geografically located (Northern Italia here🙂)
Trauma bonding big time. Hope all the kids are happy and healthy somewhere. These two are grid locked together . Trauma bonding is no joke. It always amazes me when a woman chooses a man, in this case a man and drugs, over her children. She decided to relapse to be with him? Now she works graveyard at a mental health facility that has mentally compromised teens? Are you kidding? OMG! It just gets worse and worse.😮
I can't even listen to them. It's so pathetic. Spoiled abusive guy praying on weak woman.
Somethings a lil bit sus here rumbling around in my soft white underbelly and I think I’m gonna hurl!
Nailed it, ya know, the glaringly obvious! I'm honestly concerned about so many other commenters stating how cute they are together. Delusional. Gaslighting. Toxic positivity. This is abuse 101 and a tough one to sit through.
1000%🤢
She’s not truthful herself. She’s a drama queen. Not a “weak” woman.. Doesn’t excuse his abuse,, that’s not what I’m saying.
@@Lonegraywolf75 LMAO😂
She’s repeating her dating history again. Wish her all the best.
She needs to get the fuck away from him. She'll have a better chance of turning her life around without him dragging her down.
Dre, put yourself first and get away from him. Put yourself first and get clean. You can do it. Rid yourself of anything that is not for your highest and greatest good….getting sober around a guy like him is going to be damn near impossible because of his violent history toward you. I wish you all the best. You’re a beautiful woman who deserves a beautiful life.
She is just as bad as him, they are perfect for each other, knuckleheads.
Easier said than done. She has attachment issues and trauma and addiction to abusive relationships which all impact her brain and life.
I hope she finds the courage and strength to leave this guy. He seems to be using her and holding her back
Oh man i really don't know what to say about this couple 11:00 ummm I've known couples like this and unfortunately I've been on the other end of violence in a relationship. My ex would blackout drunk and throw stuff at me, punch me and even held a knife to my neck! Needless to say i left her years ago and haven't regretted it. I love her but i can't live like that! Who knows if i stayed i might not even be alive! Abusive relationships suck
Yea abusive relationships suck ! It robs you of your worth and self esteem and really fukkkks with your head. I left one 2 years ago ! Sending Dre the love she needs to take care of herself first ! Drop this guy like a hot potato!
Lol why was the funniest part of this when he beat her up and broke her windows, then she told police not to arrest him .... then he tells her "don't worry baby, I'll tell my MOM to fix your windows tomorrow" lol.
😂 exactly
They were not fixed.
Crazy question, but how do they manage to get their nails done but they’re homeless? I know that it’s possible but that would be the last thing on my mind
have been wondering the same thing - that can't be cheap
She has 2 jobs
Exactly.
@@tzeimi_ummmm working at kohls, homeless with 5 kids , those 2 jobs ain't cutting it.
@@WeDontRocKWitShEeP no shit Sherlock. That’s why she doesn’t have them in her custody. She asked how she can afford the nails.
This channel is so uplifting 😬
Thanks for bringing more alcohol cases, all luck and LOVE for them both. Thanks for your work always Señor Laita
Very bad choice to get in a relationship in rehab or sober living!
I have an addict family member so I totally get it but this is why you are heavily warned to not connect romantically with another addict. 99% of the time it becomes double team active addiction. Hard to resist when you feel so alone and vulnerable and addicts are often some very beautiful wounded souls.
“Christmas shopping”… classic lol
I don't believe the robbery story at all. He spent the money on drugs and lost the car keys while he was high.
My 57 year old brother was admitted into hospital here in the UK for DT ‘s off alcohol, he lives in another world in his head & it looks like he isn’t coming out of it 😔😢. His partner is an alcoholic & offered to care for him🤦🏼♀️ … I don’t think so….. so sad for all addicts, I feel your pain as a watcher & now watching it close to home. ❤️🩹🇬🇧
I want to extend positive thoughts and a vibe of strength and good health and mental well being to Justin and Dre.
I appreciate this strength-based approach!
nothing about this story makes any sense. the entire him breaking the window, police coming, mom fixing the window thing is like…what on earth? they’re also heavily dependent on all sorts of psychotropic drugs, are codependent, have some sort of trauma bond going on….also who calls their ex fiance mr. machado?! i’m more confused than when they started.
Don’t forget she apparently got a job at a mental health facility for teens …while she’s in active addiction? That story was as bs as him getting robbed
Dre, get rid of this guy and find your own path to peace. He’s going to end up hurting you physically or he’s going to ruin your job opportunities. You need to seek help for yourself. He’s using you for what little security you guys have. It will be much easier for you to sober up than it will be for him to get clean from all of the drugs. He’s a weight you do not need.
First step is she needs to get rid of him!!!
Addicts are wild, along with the human condition. You punched out your car and your woman but you're talking about having a storage unit full of stuff. So disconnected.
Your dad hit you?
No, i did.
Leave this dude...
I feel sorry for her.. she really doesn’t need to hold onto this guy. He’s a handsome guy so she probably doesn’t want to lose him since she’s older. But she doesn’t deserve to be with someone so selfish and physically abusive. She can stand in her own two feet and find a good guy who won’t beat on her and destroy her life.
She has emotional baggage and unresolved trauma she has gravitated towards abuse because she had a weak or fragmented family structure ; lack of fatherly role as i recall she said . So she accepts aggressive men to allow her space to fulfill submissive role and earn acceptance (or whats that word they use so often?...validation) I dont know of another word but im sure theres a better one out there or wish one were created long ago for that void and how one goes about it. Maybe pathologically intentional ; everyone wants something and for some reason we just all label things and never really understand ourselves and only seek to make self worth a focal point or a mantra to patch or solve issues. Feeling too philosophical not feeling inspired to solve this ongoing issue. She needs to call shots or realize things arent going to change unless they make a complete turn around and truly want to change but I see no remorse from a man that hit a woman whatsoever.
Trust me, she's addicted to her stress hormones and loves the drama. She's no better than him.
Being “older” would be a lame excuse.