You're not alone, I'm trying to help my bestfriend, she's married, has a son with ex husband, recently married and pregnant with her new husband, grow up with an abusive parents & relatives, and wishing bad for her. stayin for the sake of her children & can't leave & go back to her family because it's gonna be worse and just judging her & hating her more. i want to have a place so she can come with me but says she can't, that's her life now, she stays like this, & i can't help her raise her children together it's not my life, my duty or anything like that What to do? Still searching The worse is her husband thinks it's her who need to go consult but he has no shame, no regret.., not thinking about healing himself & do smth now he just thinks that she accept it like this & in any case she has no choice because he's the man, he gives her permission to do, say, go, without that she can't
you'd be surpised! After decades of womens liberation DV hasn't stopped in the west and hasn't been acknowledged in the East. The number of womens shelters increase over on the so called free world, and the numbers are never reported on the other side. The worst part in the Muslim world is when Islam is used to surpress repress and oppress women. We need to be speak up about this loud and far!!
Mothers, if your children see you putting up with abuse, not only are your sons twice as likely to become abusers themselves but your daughters are a lot more likely to end up in abusive relationships just like you. Protect yourself for their sake if not your own.
A Knight amen and thank u for making this comment it means the most to me and I also have been seeing these signs through myself and my sister and am trying my hardest to get out of this cycle so my children’s don’t have to also witness verbal abuse. INSHALLAH
@@humanityfirst1551 how? How can they stop the abuse? It's very easy to say it, but what steps should a wife take to stop it, don't you think she would have stopped it on day one if it was in her control. The answer to abuse is the wife telling her husband not to be rude, for example. If he doesn't listen, multiply this appoach by 20 years of marriage. During that time all the children have seen is their parents bickering and fighting and an unpleasant home environment. The wife standing up for her dignity hasn't done much for the family atmosphere here. As it is just a never ending cycle of back and forth bickering, raised voices, it doesn't do much for anyone. It's very easy to say it that the wife should stop it as if her telling her husband would make him stop like magic. Usually people who give such advice haven't been through such a situation or they just mean, get a divorce
Just by reading all the comments I see this is a serious problem in our communities. We need our leaders to talk more about it. And we need practical solutions.
You know sometimes I think of how our umma hit is suffering ..everyone attacking us that is because there is somuch internal conflict among ourselves I was raised in Saudi Arabia and I saw how Muslims treated women and called themselves Muslims and I am just so hurt.....
Exactly what I needed to hear. I couldn't stop my tears when you mentioned that Allah will offer the perfect justice and that he's watching. I know he's with me. Alhumdulillah
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
The comment section is so relatable, my heart is crying. Just because verbal assault and emotional abuse has no medical report and apparent scars and bruising it's still nothing to ignore about. I wish everyone the peace of heart and mind. Ameen
The ummah is in dire need of domestic violence education, abuse education, and we also need services to help Muslims in these situations. So often they’re abandoned by family, friends, even local religious leaders. Who do they turn to for help? How do they escape if they’re financially dependent? If their parents say, “No, what will people say?” and send them back to their abuser? We need to teach people what steps they should take to help themselves and each other.
May Allah help every oppressed person who is in this situation and punish every oppressor who is weak enough to make such horrible acts on a person he supposedly love. And don't ever worry, as the cheikh said, don't think that Allah will not take your right back. Either in this life or in the akhirah. Thank you again for this there's so many people out there who are suffering in silence.
I agree as a person with a Hindu background sister I watched a documentary that in Pakistan street kids are being abused and sold drugs and some children even sell there bodies for sex and unfortunately it's very comman these men justifies it saying we can't control ourselves even though they claim do be Muslim in Pakistan and the Quran is clearly against any type of abuse or for that matter drug use let alone selling drugs to children
10 years ago i left my ex husband. We had been married 18 years and had 8 children together. By that point i had spent half my life with this man and suffered from his onslaught of mental, physical, and verbal abuse. I was alone in his country…cut off from family and friends back home. His family knew nothing until his dad saw him hit me in front of him. He’d beat me until I couldn’t walk, broke my arm and let me sit at home without getting it casted. When he did take me 3 days later, he said he was showing mercy on me. I was always told that if i wanted to leave, I’d never see my kids again. So i stayed quiet. Until he started trying to molest our 2nd daughter. My oldest helped pave the way to leave through her school counselor. We did leave, but the verbal attacks didn’t stop. He would be sweet and tried to use bribery to get me to come back, when that didn’t work, he would berate or accuse me and then threaten me. I learned to just ignore him. Eventually I got the divorce and custody. I had a long hard road to mental recovery. I still suffer from some self esteem issues but my new husband has been my rock every step of the way.
subhanAllah. your story is heartbreaking 💔. I hope you and your family are healing. Especially your daughter who was assaulted by the man who is supposed to protect her. May Allah grant ease to you and your children. May Allah grant you the best of this life and the hereafter. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.
@@f1udd1nn Ameen and thank you for your kind words! We are doing well Alhamdulillah. There are still days when old wounds open up but it gets a little easier with time.
I'm divorcing my narcissistic husband in Shaa Allah...salatul ishtihara has helped me make this decision of mine as firm as a rock...I'm still depressed slightly...but keep praying to Allah all brothers and sisters who have faced abuse and get out of that relationship Cz although we need to be grateful to the ones who have provided for us Alhamdulillah we need to be aware that Allah is providing for us through them...look at ur future through Allah and not anybody else...may Allah guide us all in the straight path.
If your husband has narcisstic personality disorder and if your istikhara is positive like really you can feel it than plz do get out no matter what ppl say
9omi try living with a narcissistic and perhaps then you will understand what a courageous thing this wonderful sister is doing. Everyone has the right to live a life where they are loved, looked at kindly and spoken to with respect. Basic rights of a human which narcasisstics don't give. My prayers are with this dear sister, may she find happiness and inner peace ameen.
My friend is trying to get out of an abusive marriage. A lot of people don’t believe her and roll their eyes about it. Since the abuse was not physical, it was verbal and emotional, they don’t consider it abuse. I feel really bad. I believe this person 100%.
I wish I could talk to your friend and tell her that the people who are rolling their eyes are ignorant and being incredibly insensitive - I've been in her shoes, and Wallahi, suffer to this day with post-judgment issues. That demon is making my life a living hell. May Allah give her strength and sabr to kick that abuser to the curb. And my humble suggestion to you is - be there for her. Encourage her to seek the help that she needs. I can also be found on Instagram if she needs to connect with me: @emerald_green_birds
Thats the problem with a lot of the muslim community. I spoke to a person supposedly very learned in Islam with a phD in islamic studies who kept asking me why I was being physically abused in a prior situation. As if there is any excuse or reason to abuse someone. These types of people just put people back into the same cycle of abuse and grow up as hypocrites. May Allah protect us. Ameen
@@ridafatima9913 I am also stuck in an abusive relationship. I have 4 children and i can't seem to get out of it. I don't know what to do now. It is as said here above, verbal abuse is minimalised and is taken very lightly.
I think more sheikhs and people of knowledge should speak more about these issues, jazakallah khair for this reminder I have benefited in ways I cannot tell. Allhamdulillah
The most important thing he said that I felt so reassured by is that Allah swt knows the pain we suffer through and that abuse does not go unpunished and our patience through abuse doesn’t go unnoticed.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would need to hear this video. Alhumdulilah, it brought me to tears knowing that with all the struggle and emotional trauma I’ve been through accountability will take place and I’ll be rewarded for all that I’ve endured. JazakAllah Br. Omar for speaking up on this taboo topic. May Allah reward you immensely for all that you are doing and continue to do. Allahumma Ameen!
Check this out too & my comments. Yes we will get our compensation on the Day of Judgement for what the sick abusers did to a trust give to them. ruclips.net/video/kp-DfmjM8xU/видео.html
@@shubby101 @Shabana Ali Hi - Inn shaa Allah the same will apply and you are rewarded for the Hereafter. I use the below dua daily from Surah Qasas in the Quran as Rabbi Najjinee Minal Qawmiz-Zaalimeen (O my Lord, save me from the wrongdoing people). Use Arabic as powerful. Please let me know if anything else. I shall include you in my duas.
My parents are emotionally abusive but they don’t see that which makes me doubt about reporting. They make me feel like am the “bad guy” they make themselves as the victim. They make me feel worthless! My mom spends all night working and she sleep all day. so have to be the “mother” my dad doesn’t pay any attention to us he only emotionally hurts us. He only cares about school. Nobody shows love or respect. No one is supportive. But whenever I try to tell them what they’re doing wrong they tell me am a bad kid. So now am juz quite and waiting until I can go on my own way and not “depend”my “life” on them
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
I will pray for you. Inshallah Allah swt will help us all and make our lives better. I am 14 and I have an abusive dad I wanted to end my life many times but I didn't because I fear that I will go to hell. I still hope that one day Allah will help me. Don't give up hope my dear sister! Inshallah Allah will help us all
@@roseuchiha2617 Please try to be strong, try to get help, and ask God (swt) to protect you. Under no circumstances should you ever commit suicide, for God (swt) has warned that killing oneself results in hellfire. May God (swt) give you strength and provide you a way out of what you are facing in a manner consistent with His (swt) guidance! Ameen.
I've been in an emotionally, mentally abusive marriage for 10 years, we have three children. I'm here because I'm searching a way to cope with him during Ramadan. It's day 2 and he's made me cry through both days so far. I don't know what to do anymore, he's made our family/friends believe it's my fault and that I'm crazy. I just want some peace of mind. I haven't been able to fast for 2 years due to mental weakness and a pregnancy. I need this month to give me strength and I feel like it's going to be one of the worst times of my life now because he's a nightmare right now. Advice Please!!!
@@Muslimah-1985 oh sis, I honestly didn't realise how much this affects our community until reading the comments!! There are soooo many women in our predicament, I had no idea. Inshallah we all find a way through It, it seems like we need a sister circle to meet and share experiences/advice.
Soraya Adel Report him to the police, if you believe that your sustenance is with Allah alone. That you need Allah and not your spouse. Who is your provider?
@Mr Koala Subhanallah I opened my RUclips to distract myself from what I just experienced with my husband. Another emotionally abusive episode. I'm currently bedbound from a major operation and am highly dependent on him. Divorce is not an option for me right now, I'm too weak physically and mentally to take that on. Thank you for your comment.
I wish I had listened to this video 9 years back.......physical abuse ruined my life, ended up my career and destroyed the personality of my son....and all the time I thought I was doing sabar.....till date I am crying and have sleepless nights
Just reading these comments ..made me cry ..ya allah help these people who are suffering .. if you really call yourselves muslims.. u wouldnt abuse someone .. this is making me feel so sad..
I am a christian but this guy is amazing . He is an awesome speaker I wish I could understand some of the terminology. I am an abuse victim and found his teachings wonderful. Would like to meet him.
Maryann Rufo (dunya) means World , (Aakhira) means the day of judgement, Deen means Religion, rasool means prophet, shaitaan means Satan evil, hope it help you :)
wow. thank you very much for this video. it left me in tears. having witnessed many abusive relationships occur in the lives of my loved ones, your video reinforced that the abuse, and justification provided by abusers is not religious but tabooed in culture and that Allah, the most High, documents everything. i pray Allah swt guides those abusers who so confidently articulate their love for Islam publicly, but behind closed doors, are emotionally-driven, manipulative beings who so fiercely dominate the space they own and impose their distaste onto their wives, their friends and their children. abuse is thulm, oppression.
This is my mission in life to share my experiences and help others, bring awareness, empowerment, education. So no one have to experience abuse from others especially when you are a sincere and innocent.
May Allah reward you, we really do need more Muslim preachers talking about this, its thought to be our little secret in Islam. May Allah help all of those who do suffer from such hardships.
Jazakallah khair. Please make more videos like this, there is really a lack of this, abusive relationships in islam, especially emotional and narcissistic abuse. The victim is victimised by been threatened that leaving is not having sabr and its going against the teachings of Islam, total disregard for the victim's sufferings. Jazakallah khair
Only Allah can help us, I remember my duas after praying to either die or be separated from the monster that abused me n Allah was so merciful, Allah took away my pain, patience n prayer is all you need to get by
@@hl7806 well my family got to know about it but they didn't know how bad it was n when they realised they told my husband they would temporarily separate us to sort things out but he thought they would get us permanently separated so he ran away to his sister in another country, n thats all really
I get mental abuse from my husband he constantly swears at me .puts me down in front of my kids.i feel going off a cliff I get that down.but my prayers help me every day.i have had enough.please pray for me I have the strength to take his abuse.mat Allah give me sabar ameen.
No you shouldn’t take abuse You should standup for yourself and your children Fear of being alone makes us stay in hell And dark While there is light at other side of tunnel
I pray Allah grants you ease and removes you and your children from this situation. You don’t deserve this. This was 3 years ago, but I pray and hope that you are okay now.
Allahumma Ameen. Jazaak Allahul kheir for such an eye opener for us, since some of us also suffer an un imaginable emotional abuse which no one can even begin to understand! Alhamdulillah for this great support brother.
Thank you Brother, May Allah reward you for this post and all others. After listening to this one i got the courage to try to be out of a very ling and abusive marriage. Please pray for me all.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
Reporting is the most difficult part..cz the person you are reporting may not support you. In that case dnt stop. Report to someone else. Allah is the only comforter. He knows everything and loves you more than anyone.
I cried watching this. I knew it wasn’t normal to be mistreated by your parents just because they’re your parents. Your parents are supposed to shower you w love, protection and proper guidance, not the opposite 🙁
@@singforever3597Tell the police through school. He is nothing to you and your mother is the one allowing the harm. Go live with an aunt/uncle you trust if you can.
Many cultures consider the emotional abuse as nothing. It's not a reason for a divorce. You should listen and obey your partner, but they don't understand that the other person is suffering and is losing himself. You shouldn't talk about that because they will call you stupid, and they will blame you. Like "what did you do that he or she is doing that to you?" We need to teach ourselves when to say "Enough is Enough"
JazaakumAllaahu khairan... Really nice to see these issues being spoken about alhamdulillaah, may Allaah assist the abused and enable us to help them, aameen
Thank you for this message Dr Omar , May Allah strengthen every single person that has been oppressed to speak up and to say and do what is truthful , and they are truly not alone , it was comforting and dear for us to know that Islam is always by the oppressed side , Allah is Great , nothing will go unnoticed and that justice will prevail .. alhamdulillah for Islam , alhamdulillah for everything..
May Allah reward you for these words of guidance, specially about replacing self pity with positive action. This was my final puzzle piece that I’ve been looking for a long time. These words has ended my life long depression in couple of seconds, so powerful!
Jzk! A 'mission' ...that will be my mission from now on to get out from a toxic, abusive relationship that infects me and my daughters.. I would need all the energy and prayers...but Allah Akbar!
Jazak Allah Khairan to all the people involved in sharing knowledge. I may not know all of your names, or what all of you do, and I may never meet you, but I truly, sincerely, ask God to guide you and bless you. It doesn't even matter whether we are able to use this knowledge, or how much we draw from it, the fact that you all could be so noble and generous choosing to spend your time on such good intentions...All Praise is for God.
I feel as though you are speaking directly towards me. This is the reason why I started my RUclips Channel. To bring more awareness to this within the Islamic community. Thank you.
Thank you for addressing the cultural part. Often times families override abuse in relationships because they believe culturally its acceptable. May Allah help us all to be insightful and transparent.
Sheikh plz talk about marriages more and more...issues like infidelity, lack of providing, lack of being intimate or overly intimate that it hinders ones capability to follow day to day routines. Plz address issues like these. JazakAllah e khair
I always get emotionally abused from my family. My mom always took her son’s side and love them more even they’re doing wrong . My brother doesn’t care about me that much . one time I was really sick and I asked my younger brother to buy me juice than he came my home with juice but he made me go outside to get the juice from him even I was shivering ( cuz I had flu ) . My mother didn’t even stay with me when I needed her cuz I was horribly sick and my husband was busy with his work . My husband did a lot for whatever he can but my family didn’t do anything. My sister is poisonous snakes!! Yes I know some people may thinking why she’s saying like about her own sister!! If I tell you how she emotionally and mentally abused me than it’s going to take long time . I still forgive them but today they all did it again so from today I’m done... I’m sorry but it’s enough and I’m done with them . Be strong and who ever like me are suffering in life they all should stand up for your right , respect and peace. Ps : My father was a wonderful man . He’s the one who loved me most but unfortunately he’s no more ...
Why? Please watch 'Sabr is not suffering in Silence' by Yasmin Mogahed..please try to get yourself out of that situation if you can! I hope Allah(swt) gets you out of your predicament sooner than later, Ameen...
My husband and I are practcing muslims. He came to my father first and we got married real Quick. He prayes He does a lot of volunteer fasting and majority of the time he spends in the mosque. I am covered, don't wear make up, pray and so on. Practicing hasn't changed in fact it got even better. But at some point there are people that are very toxic and abusive. Ma Sha Allah he does so much for the Deen and gains knowledge and everything but unfortunately he has no akhlaq. He fights over silly things. How I wash clothes, if I let lights stay on, how I separate trash and when I cook what stove top I'm using for different pots. He's very extreme when it comes to sustainability. He doesn't want me to waste energy. He doesn't like to buy meat either. It's suffocating. Of course getting green, being cautious of the environment and being sustainable is really important for us muslims. But when I do things wrong or refuse to accept certain things. We are getting Into a huge fight, to the point where it becomes hell to live with this person (astaghfirullah). He insults me, shouts and yells. Breaking things, slapping things out of my hands. He terrorizes me. No one wants this treatment. On top of that we are both still students at uni. He doesn't earn much and I'm getting financial help from government. I pay with that half of the rent and spent from it on clothing. He doesn't do that for me. My parents are supporting me in my driver license. He would never do that cause he consider it to be unnecessary. I was patient, enduring hjs behavior over 2 years. We fight way too often amd he gets abusive. Of course I'm not perfect and made mistakes as well and provoked him but nobody deserves to be treated like that because of silly silly things. I'm not happy with him, I got mentally ill. Recently I throw food away that didn't look good anymore. He got so furious getting the food out of the trash can, breaking it and shouts at me. Later I was angry provoked him till the point where he slapped me with pillows, throwing them in my face without stopping. He insulted me in the worst way possible. Lifting my cupboard throwing everything out of the bedroom and locked me out of it. From that point on I seek for divorce. That something like that happened is not the first time. In fact it's countless. My parents always picked me up and comforted me. They wanted me to divorce him, they are unhappy and also done psychological. He was also disrespectful towards my parents and they want to support me in getting divorce. Before we moved together it wasn't like that. Of course there were red flags and my parents warned me and didn't wanted me to marry him but they supported me cause they want me to be happy. I told them, the most important thing is that he's practicing muslim but having no Akhlaq turned out later when we moved together. There were signs before but I was blind! He had a problems with himself. I don't hate him, I'm not angry. I want him to be happy. Of course he regrets, he wants me back but we were there dozens of times before. Trying to solve our problems. Our parents were involved even sheikhs. We did so much to try to save the marriage. My father doesn't want to anymore, I don't want to anymore. All the hope for change and for him to get better is gone. Too much said but so less was done. Empty promises and compromises. May Allah ta3ala make us pious husband and wifes, ease our pain and show us the best possible solution out of this situation! You know I'm twenty two now. Alhamdulilah we haven't tried for kids before and that's a blessing alhamdulilah cause it makes divorce way easier and also finding another husband!
Im really sorry to hear that. Sadly im exactly at the same point. My husband is mad at me for minor stuff. He decides what we keep and throw away. He doesn’t like or respects my family. Even though they supported as so much. I can’t imagine living with him longer than this. I thought it was found my soulmate but instead I got anxious and depressed. May Allah swt. Grant you and me a pious spouse.
Facing verbal abouse often and pysical abuse many times by my narcissistic husband even for the smallest reason this video made me really heavy on my heart. May Allah bless every husband to be kind and gentle towards their wives.
Very maturely carried topic. Hats off you sir. Just a while ago I was boiled watching some Instagram preacher acting like a marriagw expert who sugar quoted expectations and left confusion to rule in end. I really like the way you conclude and speak. No acting. Plain message. Hats off to you again. JazakAllah and may Allah reward you more and protect you from demons of spotlight
I always have felt guilty for even thinking of talking about my abuse to anyone. I think it was mainly because my parents made us not tell anyone what was going on inside the home. My father has always hated me for the most part and made no secret of it. I only gained respect from him when I started making an income and it was clear he only wanted a piece of it. As a young girl and teenager I always felt guilty around him for no reason and used to get beaten for really small things eg. using the microwave, singing, dancing, etc. those things don’t qualify for physical discipline or abuse however you want to call it. I have for the most part envied girls and women who have that trust of their father and can sit on their lap and hug them. It just seemed so alien to have a good relationship with him. There would go days, weeks and months without saying a word to him or him saying a word to me. My safety was to stay in my room and not come out to eat until he was asleep. Have spent a considerable amount of years trying to fill that void and resented both of my parents for their lies about me and for trying to brainwash my siblings against me. Since being married, my life has improved drastically where I don’t always encounter them and have learnt how to be respected. When I look back I wished that I had moved out earlier just to save my sanity, I really don’t know how I did it.
subhana allah, i married a girl with the same story as you. the only diffence is that she still was abusive against me after we married and i thought i could save her. she was kind but if we had a discussion she would get angry, and say bad words and somtimes be fysicaly. i talked a lot with her parents but they didnt do anything but say, yeah youre right she has no right to do that, but thats it. i just couldn't anymore and decided to divorce.
Djazakallah geyr for this video. The acknowledgement means a lot. I feel stuck in life because of what happened to me. I feel like I'm paying for what others put me into as a child and adolescent. Please pray for me as I don't see any way out. I'm pregnant and severely depressed. I just want everything to end and to stop suffering.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
My child and myself were abused. Even after leaving the abuser the years of abuse affected in such a way that I became bitter sad and abusive myself. Allah SWT saved me from that sinful depth of darkness and transgressions. I payed a heavy price and ask for forgiveness. Thank you for standing with us to fight abuse as in most cases abusers malign character and spread lies and prevent any support system to help. Along with it in laws family join in the abuse. It does take such a huge spiritual toll especially when abusers are apparently religious. May Allah SWT protect us all and our families. I am in search of mercy love and respect for past 25 years and so are my children. May Allah SWT grant it to us and everyone. Ameen.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.
As a domestic abuse survivor I would say this topic should be discussed more n not brushed under the carpet, women shouldn't be told to save their marriage despite being abused in every way possible, khula is allowed in Islam n it's better to be divorced than dead, the feeling of being trapped and tortured every single day mentally and physically, the emotional and sexual abuse is just unexplainable, absolutely horrifying but its made me a stronger and wiser women alhamdulilah
Thank You so much❤ your lectures bring tranquility in me, your lectures are like a source of light in darkness, JazakAllah wa Khair for sharing such beautiful message with all of us.
After few months of my marriage, I faced being abuses by my husband. Now coming up to 4 years of my marriage, it's normal for me now. He was so angry at me, he bit on my cheeks. I cried and I kept in silence because end of the day it's normal and the day I die I will be questioned on my patients level and to be honest I really want to go to Allah when Allah calls me.
Years ago I commented that I was abused and few people still replying to my comment. Now my old man got kicked out by social service for domestic abuse and taken to court. You MUST always report abuse. I can feel the affect and still get nightmares. I practically left the religion by now. I felt like religion helped him hide behind the curtain for 7 years of harassment. But always speak out if you are experiencing any kind of domestic abuse. There are proper authorities that are there to help.
People having an understanding parents should be thankful to Allah. We may suffer from abusive parents (emotionally and mentally) but someday Allah swt will reward us all.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.
7 years later and people still need this. Me, I am people.
You're not alone, I'm trying to help my bestfriend, she's married, has a son with ex husband, recently married and pregnant with her new husband, grow up with an abusive parents & relatives, and wishing bad for her.
stayin for the sake of her children & can't leave & go back to her family because it's gonna be worse and just judging her & hating her more.
i want to have a place so she can come with me but says she can't, that's her life now, she stays like this, & i can't help her raise her children together it's not my life, my duty or anything like that
What to do? Still searching
The worse is her husband thinks it's her who need to go consult but he has no shame, no regret.., not thinking about healing himself & do smth
now he just thinks that she accept it like this & in any case she has no choice because he's the man, he gives her permission to do, say, go, without that she can't
you'd be surpised! After decades of womens liberation DV hasn't stopped in the west and hasn't been acknowledged in the East.
The number of womens shelters increase over on the so called free world, and the numbers are never reported on the other side.
The worst part in the Muslim world is when Islam is used to surpress repress and oppress women. We need to be speak up about this loud and far!!
May Allah give strength to face all the challenges you face n grant you ease n success in both worlds Aameen
you are not alone.
I am
Mothers, if your children see you putting up with abuse, not only are your sons twice as likely to become abusers themselves but your daughters are a lot more likely to end up in abusive relationships just like you. Protect yourself for their sake if not your own.
@rod of discipline All I see from those vids is false/misinterpreted info.
A Knight amen and thank u for making this comment it means the most to me and I also have been seeing these signs through myself and my sister and am trying my hardest to get out of this cycle so my children’s don’t have to also witness verbal abuse. INSHALLAH
So true.... Mothers shd stop it...Weather Emotional or physical or psychological or Spiritual... a relationship shd be on equal terms.
Yes you are right
@@humanityfirst1551 how? How can they stop the abuse? It's very easy to say it, but what steps should a wife take to stop it, don't you think she would have stopped it on day one if it was in her control. The answer to abuse is the wife telling her husband not to be rude, for example. If he doesn't listen, multiply this appoach by 20 years of marriage. During that time all the children have seen is their parents bickering and fighting and an unpleasant home environment. The wife standing up for her dignity hasn't done much for the family atmosphere here. As it is just a never ending cycle of back and forth bickering, raised voices, it doesn't do much for anyone. It's very easy to say it that the wife should stop it as if her telling her husband would make him stop like magic. Usually people who give such advice haven't been through such a situation or they just mean, get a divorce
Unfortunatly those that are abused are blamed by society so they can't get out. There's no real help because abuse has been accepted by the majority.
wow! well said
That's true
Abuse is not only accepted but its not seen as a problem at all except for the one getting abused . They all say its normal. That's how life is.
True family thing is normal
Very true. My mom has always threaten me with Islam. 40 years old and Im still messed up. She always said shame on you!!!!!
Just by reading all the comments I see this is a serious problem in our communities. We need our leaders to talk more about it. And we need practical solutions.
qadiriya t they don’t. They just always say respect your parents no advice for when they are evil
@@naviifra2374 The worst part is how abusive parents use that to their advantage.
You know sometimes I think of how our umma hit is suffering ..everyone attacking us that is because there is somuch internal conflict among ourselves
I was raised in Saudi Arabia and I saw how Muslims treated women and called themselves Muslims and I am just so hurt.....
The practical solutions is found in quran and sunnah, people just dont use it
Exactly what I needed to hear. I couldn't stop my tears when you mentioned that Allah will offer the perfect justice and that he's watching. I know he's with me. Alhumdulillah
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
The comment section is so relatable, my heart is crying. Just because verbal assault and emotional abuse has no medical report and apparent scars and bruising it's still nothing to ignore about. I wish everyone the peace of heart and mind. Ameen
I am sorry Aswa😭😭how are things now??how are you doing ?
The ummah is in dire need of domestic violence education, abuse education, and we also need services to help Muslims in these situations. So often they’re abandoned by family, friends, even local religious leaders. Who do they turn to for help? How do they escape if they’re financially dependent? If their parents say, “No, what will people say?” and send them back to their abuser? We need to teach people what steps they should take to help themselves and each other.
May Allah help every oppressed person who is in this situation and punish every oppressor who is weak enough to make such horrible acts on a person he supposedly love. And don't ever worry, as the cheikh said, don't think that Allah will not take your right back. Either in this life or in the akhirah. Thank you again for this there's so many people out there who are suffering in silence.
Jinan El-Etri Aameen
Jinan El-Etri Ameen Aj maeen
Jinan El-Etri ameen
I agree as a person with a Hindu background sister I watched a documentary that in Pakistan street kids are being abused and sold drugs and some children even sell there bodies for sex and unfortunately it's very comman these men justifies it saying we can't control ourselves even though they claim do be Muslim in Pakistan and the Quran is clearly against any type of abuse or for that matter drug use let alone selling drugs to children
suffering in silence..
10 years ago i left my ex husband. We had been married 18 years and had 8 children together. By that point i had spent half my life with this man and suffered from his onslaught of mental, physical, and verbal abuse. I was alone in his country…cut off from family and friends back home. His family knew nothing until his dad saw him hit me in front of him. He’d beat me until I couldn’t walk, broke my arm and let me sit at home without getting it casted. When he did take me 3 days later, he said he was showing mercy on me. I was always told that if i wanted to leave, I’d never see my kids again. So i stayed quiet. Until he started trying to molest our 2nd daughter. My oldest helped pave the way to leave through her school counselor. We did leave, but the verbal attacks didn’t stop. He would be sweet and tried to use bribery to get me to come back, when that didn’t work, he would berate or accuse me and then threaten me. I learned to just ignore him. Eventually I got the divorce and custody. I had a long hard road to mental recovery. I still suffer from some self esteem issues but my new husband has been my rock every step of the way.
May Allah protect you and your children sister ♥️
subhanAllah. your story is heartbreaking 💔. I hope you and your family are healing. Especially your daughter who was assaulted by the man who is supposed to protect her. May Allah grant ease to you and your children. May Allah grant you the best of this life and the hereafter. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.
@@f1udd1nn Ameen and thank you for your kind words! We are doing well Alhamdulillah. There are still days when old wounds open up but it gets a little easier with time.
I'm divorcing my narcissistic husband in Shaa Allah...salatul ishtihara has helped me make this decision of mine as firm as a rock...I'm still depressed slightly...but keep praying to Allah all brothers and sisters who have faced abuse and get out of that relationship Cz although we need to be grateful to the ones who have provided for us Alhamdulillah we need to be aware that Allah is providing for us through them...look at ur future through Allah and not anybody else...may Allah guide us all in the straight path.
Just because your husband is narcissistic? Doesn't sounds like a big reason to get separation. May Allah have mercy on you.
If your husband has narcisstic personality disorder and if your istikhara is positive like really you can feel it than plz do get out no matter what ppl say
9omi try living with a narcissistic and perhaps then you will understand what a courageous thing this wonderful sister is doing. Everyone has the right to live a life where they are loved, looked at kindly and spoken to with respect. Basic rights of a human which narcasisstics don't give. My prayers are with this dear sister, may she find happiness and inner peace ameen.
Narcissist are evil alien. You can't live with narcissist even single second.
Did he let you go without any reaction?
My friend is trying to get out of an abusive marriage. A lot of people don’t believe her and roll their eyes about it. Since the abuse was not physical, it was verbal and emotional, they don’t consider it abuse. I feel really bad. I believe this person 100%.
I wish I could talk to your friend and tell her that the people who are rolling their eyes are ignorant and being incredibly insensitive - I've been in her shoes, and Wallahi, suffer to this day with post-judgment issues. That demon is making my life a living hell. May Allah give her strength and sabr to kick that abuser to the curb. And my humble suggestion to you is - be there for her. Encourage her to seek the help that she needs. I can also be found on Instagram if she needs to connect with me: @emerald_green_birds
Thats the problem with a lot of the muslim community. I spoke to a person supposedly very learned in Islam with a phD in islamic studies who kept asking me why I was being physically abused in a prior situation. As if there is any excuse or reason to abuse someone. These types of people just put people back into the same cycle of abuse and grow up as hypocrites. May Allah protect us. Ameen
May I help her? I can help her, if you want me to. Plz do conatct me. Abusive marriage is even worse than abusive parents..
Yes, it's true that's what im going through now..😭😭😭 but no once care sad to say, I just cry on sujud😭😭
@@ridafatima9913 I am also stuck in an abusive relationship. I have 4 children and i can't seem to get out of it. I don't know what to do now. It is as said here above, verbal abuse is minimalised and is taken very lightly.
I think more sheikhs and people of knowledge should speak more about these issues, jazakallah khair for this reminder I have benefited in ways I cannot tell. Allhamdulillah
The most important thing he said that I felt so reassured by is that Allah swt knows the pain we suffer through and that abuse does not go unpunished and our patience through abuse doesn’t go unnoticed.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would need to hear this video.
Alhumdulilah, it brought me to tears knowing that with all the struggle and emotional trauma I’ve been through accountability will take place and I’ll be rewarded for all that I’ve endured.
JazakAllah Br. Omar for speaking up on this taboo topic.
May Allah reward you immensely for all that you are doing and continue to do.
Allahumma Ameen!
Check this out too & my comments. Yes we will get our compensation on the Day of Judgement for what the sick abusers did to a trust give to them. ruclips.net/video/kp-DfmjM8xU/видео.html
@@suhailmohmed661 For clarification purposes, my "trauma" is referenced to a marriage I was in previously.
@@shubby101 @Shabana Ali Hi - Inn shaa Allah the same will apply and you are rewarded for the Hereafter. I use the below dua daily from Surah Qasas in the Quran as Rabbi Najjinee Minal Qawmiz-Zaalimeen (O my Lord, save me from the wrongdoing people). Use Arabic as powerful. Please let me know if anything else. I shall include you in my duas.
@@shubby101 now how r u surviving sis,having a job do u have children caus I too need to move out sooner but I need to have a job
This gives me strength to move on and forget my abuse and abuser.
❤️❤️❤️✊🏾
Same here ❤️
Inshallah ameen
My parents are emotionally abusive but they don’t see that which makes me doubt about reporting. They make me feel like am the “bad guy” they make themselves as the victim. They make me feel worthless! My mom spends all night working and she sleep all day. so have to be the “mother” my dad doesn’t pay any attention to us he only emotionally hurts us. He only cares about school. Nobody shows love or respect. No one is supportive. But whenever I try to tell them what they’re doing wrong they tell me am a bad kid. So now am juz quite and waiting until I can go on my own way and not “depend”my “life” on them
Same.
☹️🥺
Oh my god, exactly the same
@@haroonnaveed3557 why ppl say parents can never be bad when there r many cases in this world
Same
If men were taught by imams and Sheikhs on how to treat women with kindness and love then this wouldn't exist as it is now.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
Same goes the other way around.
I was abused by my mother and husband. I've suffered and am dealing with depression and trauma of domestic violence. Allah help me
I will pray for you. Inshallah Allah swt will help us all and make our lives better. I am 14 and I have an abusive dad I wanted to end my life many times but I didn't because I fear that I will go to hell. I still hope that one day Allah will help me. Don't give up hope my dear sister! Inshallah Allah will help us all
Me too
@@roseuchiha2617 ofc Allah will serve us justice. And what u said is true u shouldn't end ur life for such cheap ppl ur worth more.
Please talk 2 me if you ever need to talk , anyone who suffering in silence please you are not alone Allah swt is always with us x
@@roseuchiha2617 Please try to be strong, try to get help, and ask God (swt) to protect you. Under no circumstances should you ever commit suicide, for God (swt) has warned that killing oneself results in hellfire. May God (swt) give you strength and provide you a way out of what you are facing in a manner consistent with His (swt) guidance! Ameen.
I've been in an emotionally, mentally abusive marriage for 10 years, we have three children. I'm here because I'm searching a way to cope with him during Ramadan. It's day 2 and he's made me cry through both days so far. I don't know what to do anymore, he's made our family/friends believe it's my fault and that I'm crazy. I just want some peace of mind. I haven't been able to fast for 2 years due to mental weakness and a pregnancy. I need this month to give me strength and I feel like it's going to be one of the worst times of my life now because he's a nightmare right now. Advice Please!!!
May Allah give u strength, what you just said sounded like my life
@@Muslimah-1985 oh sis, I honestly didn't realise how much this affects our community until reading the comments!! There are soooo many women in our predicament, I had no idea. Inshallah we all find a way through It, it seems like we need a sister circle to meet and share experiences/advice.
Soraya Adel Report him to the police, if you believe that your sustenance is with Allah alone. That you need Allah and not your spouse. Who is your provider?
@Mr Koala Subhanallah
I opened my RUclips to distract myself from what I just experienced with my husband. Another emotionally abusive episode. I'm currently bedbound from a major operation and am highly dependent on him. Divorce is not an option for me right now, I'm too weak physically and mentally to take that on. Thank you for your comment.
Same here sis,married for 10 years and 3rd one in womb trying to move out inshallah
This is such a comfort to hear. 27 years too late unfortunately but still Alhamdulillah Allah swt bless you with Khair and A'fiya. Ameen
Better late than never
I wish I had listened to this video 9 years back.......physical abuse ruined my life, ended up my career and destroyed the personality of my son....and all the time I thought I was doing sabar.....till date I am crying and have sleepless nights
Just reading these comments ..made me cry ..ya allah help these people who are suffering .. if you really call yourselves muslims.. u wouldnt abuse someone .. this is making me feel so sad..
I’m crying so much listening to this. May Allah bless you. We need more people to talk on this subject under the light of Islam.
Very nice brother!!! You can't imagine how I needed to hear this now. Jazakallah khir! =)
I am a christian but this guy is amazing . He is an awesome speaker I wish I could understand some of the terminology. I am an abuse victim and found his teachings wonderful. Would like to meet him.
Maryann Rufo (dunya) means World , (Aakhira) means the day of judgement, Deen means Religion, rasool means prophet, shaitaan means Satan evil, hope it help you :)
MöCking jæY Mãłîq thank you 😊
Only talks about abuse in marriage, parents but how do you deal with being mentally abuse by siblings.
Thank you !
wow. thank you very much for this video. it left me in tears. having witnessed many abusive relationships occur in the lives of my loved ones, your video reinforced that the abuse, and justification provided by abusers is not religious but tabooed in culture and that Allah, the most High, documents everything. i pray Allah swt guides those abusers who so confidently articulate their love for Islam publicly, but behind closed doors, are emotionally-driven, manipulative beings who so fiercely dominate the space they own and impose their distaste onto their wives, their friends and their children.
abuse is thulm, oppression.
Allah has used this brother to help me in so many different trials in my life. Alhamdulilah and may Allah bless him and his family immensely. Ameen.
11 years later people still need this. Sub Han Allah. May Allah help those who are suffering
This is my mission in life to share my experiences and help others, bring awareness, empowerment, education. So no one have to experience abuse from others especially when you are a sincere and innocent.
More power to you
May Allah reward you, we really do need more Muslim preachers talking about this, its thought to be our little secret in Islam. May Allah help all of those who do suffer from such hardships.
Jazakallah khair. Please make more videos like this, there is really a lack of this, abusive relationships in islam, especially emotional and narcissistic abuse. The victim is victimised by been threatened that leaving is not having sabr and its going against the teachings of Islam, total disregard for the victim's sufferings. Jazakallah khair
Only Allah can help us, I remember my duas after praying to either die or be separated from the monster that abused me n Allah was so merciful, Allah took away my pain, patience n prayer is all you need to get by
How did you do it sister?? How did you left?
@@hl7806 well my family got to know about it but they didn't know how bad it was n when they realised they told my husband they would temporarily separate us to sort things out but he thought they would get us permanently separated so he ran away to his sister in another country, n thats all really
People have some funny ideas about what is and isn't acceptable in Islam. Thanks for setting them straight. Mashallah
I get mental abuse from my husband he constantly swears at me .puts me down in front of my kids.i feel going off a cliff I get that down.but my prayers help me every day.i have had enough.please pray for me I have the strength to take his abuse.mat Allah give me sabar ameen.
Aameen.
You are so strong and may ALLAH make it easy for you
Hi Yasmin how are things now??
No you shouldn’t take abuse
You should standup for yourself and your children
Fear of being alone makes us stay in hell And dark
While there is light at other side of tunnel
I pray Allah grants you ease and removes you and your children from this situation. You don’t deserve this. This was 3 years ago, but I pray and hope that you are okay now.
Allahumma Ameen. Jazaak Allahul kheir for such an eye opener for us, since some of us also suffer an un imaginable emotional abuse which no one can even begin to understand!
Alhamdulillah for this great support brother.
Thank you for your warm and comforting prayers. May Allah reward reward you in both world!
Thank you Brother, May Allah reward you for this post and all others. After listening to this one i got the courage to try to be out of a very ling and abusive marriage. Please pray for me all.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
Wow, so many questions were answered. Allah, bless you.
Reporting is the most difficult part..cz the person you are reporting may not support you. In that case dnt stop. Report to someone else. Allah is the only comforter. He knows everything and loves you more than anyone.
I cried watching this. I knew it wasn’t normal to be mistreated by your parents just because they’re your parents. Your parents are supposed to shower you w love, protection and proper guidance, not the opposite 🙁
My mom is in a haram relationship with a guy it’s honestly traumatizing he’s a alcoholic and hurts us with a non Muslim
@@singforever3597Tell the police through school. He is nothing to you and your mother is the one allowing the harm. Go live with an aunt/uncle you trust if you can.
Many cultures consider the emotional abuse as nothing. It's not a reason for a divorce. You should listen and obey your partner, but they don't understand that the other person is suffering and is losing himself. You shouldn't talk about that because they will call you stupid, and they will blame you. Like "what did you do that he or she is doing that to you?"
We need to teach ourselves when to say "Enough is Enough"
JazaakumAllaahu khairan...
Really nice to see these issues being spoken about alhamdulillaah, may Allaah assist the abused and enable us to help them, aameen
Thank you for this message Dr Omar , May Allah strengthen every single person that has been oppressed to speak up and to say and do what is truthful , and they are truly not alone , it was comforting and dear for us to know that Islam is always by the oppressed side , Allah is Great , nothing will go unnoticed and that justice will prevail .. alhamdulillah for Islam , alhamdulillah for everything..
Thank you ,I really needed to here this .we need more Muslim Sister to stand up and stop these abusive brother ,
May Allah reward you for these words of guidance, specially about replacing self pity with positive action. This was my final puzzle piece that I’ve been looking for a long time. These words has ended my life long depression in couple of seconds, so powerful!
Jzk! A 'mission' ...that will be my mission from now on to get out from a toxic, abusive relationship that infects me and my daughters.. I would need all the energy and prayers...but Allah Akbar!
Inshallah keep asking Quranic and Sunnah duas for zulm, victory etc
Inshallah they are your weapons .
Good luck Rabiyah I hope you are in a better place now
I was in a emotional draining relationship pls make dua for me brothers and sisters use to go behind my back and speak to women and say it is my fault
Thank you so much brother you made me feel much more better .ALLAH Bless you and us .
Ameen
Thank you for being compassionate
Sir Omar Suleiman you are my favorite. You are so wonderful. Allah bless u. I look up to you. You are a blessing indeed.
I keep coming here often and wish I didn’t have to come here but idk if it ever will happen
The most important is how you will define "Abuse" -- Without defining it clearly you only will create confusion in deen in this aspect.
i cried after watcing this, thank you
Jazak Allah Khairan to all the people involved in sharing knowledge. I may not know all of your names, or what all of you do, and I may never meet you, but I truly, sincerely, ask God to guide you and bless you. It doesn't even matter whether we are able to use this knowledge, or how much we draw from it, the fact that you all could be so noble and generous choosing to spend your time on such good intentions...All Praise is for God.
I feel as though you are speaking directly towards me. This is the reason why I started my RUclips Channel. To bring more awareness to this within the Islamic community. Thank you.
Thank you brother Omar for this video.
Thank you for addressing the cultural part. Often times families override abuse in relationships because they believe culturally its acceptable. May Allah help us all to be insightful and transparent.
Sheikh plz talk about marriages more and more...issues like infidelity, lack of providing, lack of being intimate or overly intimate that it hinders ones capability to follow day to day routines. Plz address issues like these. JazakAllah e khair
Jazak'Allah Khair for this video. Short but so full of empathy. Thank you so much for your genuine advice.
8 years later still need this
may Allah reward you and protect you shaikh immensely ameen. Allah does not allow oppression for himself it is forbidden for us to accept it.
Thank you I really needed to hear this today. May Allah reward your efforts
Jazakallah and thank you for the video, and ALSO FOR NOT USING ANY BACKGROUND MUSIC.
I always get emotionally abused from my family. My mom always took her son’s side and love them more even they’re doing wrong . My brother doesn’t care about me that much . one time I was really sick and I asked my younger brother to buy me juice than he came my home with juice but he made me go outside to get the juice from him even I was shivering ( cuz I had flu ) . My mother didn’t even stay with me when I needed her cuz I was horribly sick and my husband was busy with his work . My husband did a lot for whatever he can but my family didn’t do anything. My sister is poisonous snakes!! Yes I know some people may thinking why she’s saying like about her own sister!! If I tell you how she emotionally and mentally abused me than it’s going to take long time . I still forgive them but today they all did it again so from today I’m done... I’m sorry but it’s enough and I’m done with them . Be strong and who ever like me are suffering in life they all should stand up for your right , respect and peace.
Ps : My father was a wonderful man . He’s the one who loved me most but unfortunately he’s no more ...
Exactly! My sister is the same, i learned to late in lifr to stand up for myself! And im now being protrayed in a negative light!
Subhanallah! This was an eye opener for me. May Allah bless you
Rise up there needs counselling....l been suffering for over 40 years. Pain its tourture...
Why? Please watch 'Sabr is not suffering in Silence' by Yasmin Mogahed..please try to get yourself out of that situation if you can! I hope Allah(swt) gets you out of your predicament sooner than later, Ameen...
Be calm. May Allah help you. Allah will help you
thank you so much! i needed to hear this.
آمین یا الٰہی
Thank you 🙏 very much for your beautiful talk this is so true I hope and pray all Muslim women don’t have too deal with abuse
thank you for helping me. I live in California and I found your video . thank you
My husband and I are practcing muslims. He came to my father first and we got married real Quick. He prayes He does a lot of volunteer fasting and majority of the time he spends in the mosque. I am covered, don't wear make up, pray and so on. Practicing hasn't changed in fact it got even better. But at some point there are people that are very toxic and abusive. Ma Sha Allah he does so much for the Deen and gains knowledge and everything but unfortunately he has no akhlaq. He fights over silly things. How I wash clothes, if I let lights stay on, how I separate trash and when I cook what stove top I'm using for different pots. He's very extreme when it comes to sustainability. He doesn't want me to waste energy. He doesn't like to buy meat either. It's suffocating. Of course getting green, being cautious of the environment and being sustainable is really important for us muslims. But when I do things wrong or refuse to accept certain things. We are getting Into a huge fight, to the point where it becomes hell to live with this person (astaghfirullah). He insults me, shouts and yells. Breaking things, slapping things out of my hands. He terrorizes me. No one wants this treatment. On top of that we are both still students at uni. He doesn't earn much and I'm getting financial help from government. I pay with that half of the rent and spent from it on clothing. He doesn't do that for me. My parents are supporting me in my driver license. He would never do that cause he consider it to be unnecessary. I was patient, enduring hjs behavior over 2 years. We fight way too often amd he gets abusive. Of course I'm not perfect and made mistakes as well and provoked him but nobody deserves to be treated like that because of silly silly things. I'm not happy with him, I got mentally ill. Recently I throw food away that didn't look good anymore. He got so furious getting the food out of the trash can, breaking it and shouts at me. Later I was angry provoked him till the point where he slapped me with pillows, throwing them in my face without stopping. He insulted me in the worst way possible. Lifting my cupboard throwing everything out of the bedroom and locked me out of it. From that point on I seek for divorce. That something like that happened is not the first time. In fact it's countless. My parents always picked me up and comforted me. They wanted me to divorce him, they are unhappy and also done psychological. He was also disrespectful towards my parents and they want to support me in getting divorce. Before we moved together it wasn't like that. Of course there were red flags and my parents warned me and didn't wanted me to marry him but they supported me cause they want me to be happy. I told them, the most important thing is that he's practicing muslim but having no Akhlaq turned out later when we moved together. There were signs before but I was blind! He had a problems with himself. I don't hate him, I'm not angry. I want him to be happy. Of course he regrets, he wants me back but we were there dozens of times before. Trying to solve our problems. Our parents were involved even sheikhs. We did so much to try to save the marriage. My father doesn't want to anymore, I don't want to anymore. All the hope for change and for him to get better is gone. Too much said but so less was done. Empty promises and compromises. May Allah ta3ala make us pious husband and wifes, ease our pain and show us the best possible solution out of this situation! You know I'm twenty two now. Alhamdulilah we haven't tried for kids before and that's a blessing alhamdulilah cause it makes divorce way easier and also finding another husband!
Im really sorry to hear that. Sadly im exactly at the same point. My husband is mad at me for minor stuff. He decides what we keep and throw away. He doesn’t like or respects my family. Even though they supported as so much. I can’t imagine living with him longer than this. I thought it was found my soulmate but instead I got anxious and depressed.
May Allah swt. Grant you and me a pious spouse.
Run away, save yourself, I have been living with an abuser for 3 years now and my mental health, physical health, emotional health is all ruined.
Facing verbal abouse often and pysical abuse many times by my narcissistic husband even for the smallest reason this video made me really heavy on my heart. May Allah bless every husband to be kind and gentle towards their wives.
I go through emotional abuse by my partner .. I hope InshaaAllah Allah gives me a solution
Ameen I. A may Allah make him realise dat he should love you I. A all the best in your relationship
Jazāk Allāhu Khayran (جزاك اللهُ خيرًا) for doing this invaluable video on abuse. May Almighty Allah bless and reward you with Janna. Ameen
Amiin yarab 😢thank you sheikh
Very maturely carried topic. Hats off you sir. Just a while ago I was boiled watching some Instagram preacher acting like a marriagw expert who sugar quoted expectations and left confusion to rule in end. I really like the way you conclude and speak. No acting. Plain message. Hats off to you again. JazakAllah and may Allah reward you more and protect you from demons of spotlight
Thank you for you words
Am hollanda and moslima and 6 years abuse from a turkies men.
A live in turkie and Allah give mi hope and life.
Allahu akbar
I always have felt guilty for even thinking of talking about my abuse to anyone. I think it was mainly because my parents made us not tell anyone what was going on inside the home. My father has always hated me for the most part and made no secret of it. I only gained respect from him when I started making an income and it was clear he only wanted a piece of it.
As a young girl and teenager I always felt guilty around him for no reason and used to get beaten for really small things eg. using the microwave, singing, dancing, etc. those things don’t qualify for physical discipline or abuse however you want to call it. I have for the most part envied girls and women who have that trust of their father and can sit on their lap and hug them. It just seemed so alien to have a good relationship with him.
There would go days, weeks and months without saying a word to him or him saying a word to me. My safety was to stay in my room and not come out to eat until he was asleep. Have spent a considerable amount of years trying to fill that void and resented both of my parents for their lies about me and for trying to brainwash my siblings against me. Since being married, my life has improved drastically where I don’t always encounter them and have learnt how to be respected. When I look back I wished that I had moved out earlier just to save my sanity, I really don’t know how I did it.
Same...but I don't wanna get married I'm only 18 and i am absolutely tired of even imagining marrying an awful bastard...
That father issue i can relate 100000/100
subhana allah, i married a girl with the same story as you. the only diffence is that she still was abusive against me after we married and i thought i could save her. she was kind but if we had a discussion she would get angry, and say bad words and somtimes be fysicaly. i talked a lot with her parents but they didnt do anything but say, yeah youre right she has no right to do that, but thats it. i just couldn't anymore and decided to divorce.
May Allah reward you for your patience.
جزاک اللّہ اللہ آپکو نیک توفیق دے آمین
Djazakallah geyr for this video. The acknowledgement means a lot. I feel stuck in life because of what happened to me. I feel like I'm paying for what others put me into as a child and adolescent. Please pray for me as I don't see any way out. I'm pregnant and severely depressed. I just want everything to end and to stop suffering.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.. unless you find God within you, no power will be able to help.we are our own God 💗🙏🙏.
My child and myself were abused. Even after leaving the abuser the years of abuse affected in such a way that I became bitter sad and abusive myself. Allah SWT saved me from that sinful depth of darkness and transgressions. I payed a heavy price and ask for forgiveness. Thank you for standing with us to fight abuse as in most cases abusers malign character and spread lies and prevent any support system to help. Along with it in laws family join in the abuse. It does take such a huge spiritual toll especially when abusers are apparently religious. May Allah SWT protect us all and our families. I am in search of mercy love and respect for past 25 years and so are my children. May Allah SWT grant it to us and everyone. Ameen.
Hey youngish for how are you doing now
Hope things have gotten better both of you
If anyone wants to talk I'm here for you
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.
As a domestic abuse survivor I would say this topic should be discussed more n not brushed under the carpet, women shouldn't be told to save their marriage despite being abused in every way possible, khula is allowed in Islam n it's better to be divorced than dead, the feeling of being trapped and tortured every single day mentally and physically, the emotional and sexual abuse is just unexplainable, absolutely horrifying but its made me a stronger and wiser women alhamdulilah
Love this video.. jazakhallahu khair sheik omar.. masha Allah. Tabarakhallah.. alhamdulillah.
Jasakallahu khaira brother may God bless you
Please make duah for me.
والله كلام يفتح النفس💜🇮🇶✨
Thank You so much❤ your lectures bring tranquility in me, your lectures are like a source of light in darkness, JazakAllah wa Khair for sharing such beautiful message with all of us.
The stories i read here are so so painfull. Thought i'm going through the same. I hope Allah help us all.
Aslamu Alaikum brother,
Thank you so much, your video has helped me. May Allah bless you..Ameen
After few months of my marriage, I faced being abuses by my husband. Now coming up to 4 years of my marriage, it's normal for me now. He was so angry at me, he bit on my cheeks. I cried and I kept in silence because end of the day it's normal and the day I die I will be questioned on my patients level and to be honest I really want to go to Allah when Allah calls me.
Please don’t think that it’s normal. Please get help!
It’s not normal. You should respond. Don’t be silent.
My dear how are you now?
How’s your situation now?
Inshalla, thank you very much my brother for the true words of wisdom and the true words of love of Allah.
Allah'uma aameen
May Allah reward you Sheikh Omar for your message ❤
In our society is really hard to come out from the abusive relationship, especially with the children.
I agree with you across you are absolutely right!
I know it's been long but how are you now?
Years ago I commented that I was abused and few people still replying to my comment. Now my old man got kicked out by social service for domestic abuse and taken to court. You MUST always report abuse. I can feel the affect and still get nightmares. I practically left the religion by now. I felt like religion helped him hide behind the curtain for 7 years of harassment. But always speak out if you are experiencing any kind of domestic abuse. There are proper authorities that are there to help.
People having an understanding parents should be thankful to Allah. We may suffer from abusive parents (emotionally and mentally) but someday Allah swt will reward us all.
produced by humans God and religions are to blame for the majority of social ills, such as abuse in homes, places of worship, and even educational institutions, especially in religions that emphasise the afterlife and its attendant hell and heaven because followers are brainwashed into thinking that God is real and will punish those who harm others. Conmen were so cunning that they were able to defend their invented God by claiming that no matter what crime is occurring, God is keeping a watch on it and that everyone will be rewarded or punished by god with afterlife hell and heaven.
Mashallah I felt so good listening to this thank you
Thank you 🙏🏾.
Do not suffer in silence.
Jazakallah sheikh for explaining this in a way that we understand.
he has the softest eyes for a man
Thank you for this brother and for raising awareness 👍🏼