Chelsea Q&A: Wedding Spending, Side Hustles, And Friends Who Suck At Money
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- Опубликовано: 24 окт 2024
- In our season finale, Chelsea reflects on this season of The Financial Confessions and answers audience questions about money, relationships, her writing career and more.
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Happy to report that during my performance review at work, I negotiated for the first time and it worked! I almost doubled my raise and it also increased a few of my colleagues’ raises, which I didn’t even consider as a possible benefit
Hell yeah, great work!!!
That’s awesome!
This is so cool
The $700 Sprite is my new Roman Empire
I’m a people pleaser 100%, but there is no way in hell I would have ever paid that request.
Yes where was this mentioned?!!
@@HorseyHonorit was in the TFC wedding episode! A few weeks back. She didn’t drink but another guest from the bachelorette sent her a Venmo request for $700 for a night at the club lol
i’m not over it either
It's amazing to see the impact of funding rates, media hype, and big players' actions on the market. This crypto journey is full of surprises, and insights like these are invaluable. It really highlights the power of technical analysis in navigating these waters. For anyone on the fence, now's a thrilling time to dive in and potentially ride the wave to success. The market's complexities are daunting, but also full of opportunities for the savvy investor... In the complex world of cryptocurrency investment, having a knowledgeable guide is essential. Rebecca Arnold experience in this field has been crucial for many. With her advice, it's been possible to grow a nest egg of around 100k to over 572k in a matter of months.
Appreciate your videos! I’m 54 and younger generations should know there’s no shortcut to acquiring wealth, but there are ways to go about it. Fellow millionaires don’t tell the poor/middle class they need the knowledge of finance coaches to help build their wealth. If anyone here needs a good coach, here’s it..
l made better decisions that grew my finances (over 1M in 2yrs) with heIp of my financiaI pIanner. Got my 3rd house Iast month, and will retire soon.
Elizabeth Greenhunts
Get to her with her name..
Kudos.
Great info..
What I really appreciated was the professional was the interviews were handled. There, just like when you interview professionally known people, you let the average people speak openly and honestly with a measure of respect. Thank you.
thank you!!! so much!! for talking about anxiety and not wanting it to be an integral part of your personality. i feel like so much anxiety rep online is about it being a “superpower” or its like the first thing someone knows about someone. i don’t LIKE my anxiety. i don’t WANT to have it, and its been years of continuous work to realize i am not my thoughts and they don’t define me, so its helpful to see other people feeling that way too.
Could someone explain what the anxiety as a superpower is about? I’m slow on online trends
I appreciate your comment on cancel culture. I know somebody who constantly talks about celebrities from the lens of morality and when I mentioned to them The Beatles are my favorite band, they were like 'aren't they problematic?' I've been a Beatles fan since I was a kid and it was annoying having someone who doesn't know my relationship to their music shame for me for other people's actions. We need to give celebrities less of a platform. They're just people who make art. That's it.
I think a good response to that is questioning that person's authenticity or motives, like, "I don't know, I find it more problematic to psychoanalyze the motives of dead artists who never spoke on those issues and never tried to convince anyone of their political viewpoint."
I can 100% percent relate to finding it triggering and anxiety inducing to be friends with women that 100% give over their financial life to their partners... This has come up several times in friendships over the years and I honestly have such a difficult time going deeper in the friendship.
I would think it was a bad idea to opt out of caring about finances, but I can't imagine choosing not to be friends with another woman over it. People are of far more value than their personal financial arrangements.
@@lorrilewis2178it’s not just that they don’t manages their own money itself, but I imagine a lot of it comes down to being able to relate to another person.
If our finances, money goals and experiences aren’t the same, it’s hard to find a reason to go in depth in that friendship. Like for me, i have a very different relationship with money due to growing up low income than someone who grew up in a higher income. That makes a lot of experiences I’ve had hard to relate to and experiences they’ve had hard to relate to. Being comfortable not man again your finances is a mindset I could never have, so it’s an experience I’ll never be able to relate to. Relationships with money CAN be a value
Something I’ve never understood about weddings is modern gift-giving. Once upon a time, couples didn’t have the basics yet for a home, and gifts helped them set up. But now, couples use registries to ask for upgraded items so expensive that they wouldn’t buy it for themselves, and they’re asking others who wouldn’t buy it for themselves, or for pricy “honeymoon experiences,” things of that nature. Established couples spending five figures for one party, asking for hundreds of dollars from people already spending money to be there. Registry info with a wedding invitation gets a decline from me.
For my own wedding, we explicitly stated no gifts, and we had pretty broke friends tell us that that was the only reason they felt comfortable coming-they couldn’t afford gifts and wouldn’t feel comfortable showing up empty-handed, but us saying NO GIFTS made it okay to them. And that’s sad. They mattered to us, and had to be told that because fucking gift culture told then they matter less than things,
It’s truly sad that so many people expect gifts so much that friends will miss weddings because they can’t afford it. What matters more, that people run themselves into a hole to buy you a Shark blender or else miss being there if they can’t, or to have your friends there?
What a bizarre flex.
Frankly, it's bad form to attend a party of any kind without a gift. It doesn't have to be money. Something handmade, a card, something meaningful...anything, really. My husband's grandmother gifted us a rosary that is probably of limited value but is priceless because of the cumulative hours she has spent praying with it.
I say this as a person who just had a wedding party last week and did so within a VERY low budget using mostly DIY decor I spent months putting together: I have never been so insulted as I was on the behalf of my husband when all but 2 of his LOCAL friends showed up to eat our food and drink our booze without so much as bringing a card, then LEFT EARLY.
I mean, good for you that you can afford to throw a traditionally extremely expensive party without so much as hoping for any kind of recompense, but also, what a weird hill to die on. There are maybe 3 major events in a person's life where it's understandably expected that you bring a gift; I don't think it's falling victim to "gift giving culture" when you present a registry because numerous people have explicitly told you they would prefer to buy from a registry.
The thing that would surprise most people is that if you go back far enough historically, it was unheard of for people to give wedding gifts. The bride, groom, and their families provided what was needed for the new household. There are actual historical accounts of brides being taken aback and confused when gift-giving first began to happen here and there.
I didn't know about the audience comments but I have enjoyed this season immensely.
I love doing things alone. You only have yourself to be accountable for and if you don't do what you had initially planned to do, at you don't beat yourself up about it, you can just make a mental note to go again and do that thing first.
i think you should interview oh stephco, she recently moved to a smaller city in state for cost purposes and i think she has so much to say and share.
She would be great to have!
Would love to see ohstephco on here. She speaks candidly about handling expenses as a teacher and youtuber
I just can't imagine expecting people to pay $3000 for my wedding. I think this is very much a class difference. $3000 is a once per year or 2 vacation that is saved for for most people I know. This blows my mind that is a common expectation people have for their friends and family now.
Because I'm older than probably most of the audience for this channel I was wondering if it was just me. It seems very extravagant in a not good way.
Re:art - a really helpful line to draw is when an artist (like the TERF) is claiming the money she's getting and the numbers of people in her fandom is proof that her very harmful views are right and widely accepted.
Lindsay Ellis had a very good video on the topic back in the day. Basically death of the author stops working when the author weaponises their audience in defence of their awfulness
Hugs to you and Mona! Sending you all the positive thoughts ❤️
Wishing you and Mona the best. I too go through it whenever my cat has a health upset. Take care of yourselves ❤❤❤
I have never known of another person in real life who loved Angus, Thongs & FFS! I’ve got the first 5 books packed away in storage somewhere 🤣 absolutely iconic!
Chelsea Q&A's are always my favorite episodes
OMG my favorite books as a kid were the same!! Red Wall and the Phantom Tollbooth!! I cheered when you said that!
from a production standpoint, one thing for me is....its not very fun watching the equivalent of a recorded zoom call. might make more sense as a podcast...but that is just me
Fyi The “financial confessions” is in fact, a podcast . This is the filmed version for those who prefer watching over audio. I had wished it was a podcast too before finding out that you can listen to it on podcast apps.
What a simpleton-JUST DON’T WATCH THE VIDEO THEN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WATCH IT
***postive vibes for wee Mona****
Took your advice and worked at a hotel while I was waiting for my urgent passport to be printed in the Manhattan office last month. It was a great work space and I recognized another person from the passport line lol
I loved The Phantom Tollbooth! That was my favorite book as a kid too.
I am a big reader, and Harry Potter shaped my childhood in a number of ways. I still have the books, and they are special to me, but it hurt to find out about the kind of person Rowling is.
Speaking of Too Good to Be True, when does the next season air?
It’s not about only enjoying art made by « good people » as a way to make oneself feel better. It’s about not giving people who have serious, documented allegations against them (I’m thinking about W.Allen) more accolades, more industry recognition for past, present and future works. Cause their reputation and aura is what has allowed them to harm others and keeps them from being brought to justice. Cause he’s such a good director right ? So how could he ever have done these horrible things people are saying about him ? I wish Chelsea would have spoken on this subject with more care and nuance.
Wishing Mona the best ❤
Just wanted to weigh in about a great musician who should be adored without a bad history: Weird Al Yankovic.
I would not pay $700 for a Sprite unless it saved a life I care about.
It wasn’t literally a $709 sprite. The person went to a bachelorette weekend, and at one bar, she chose to have a single sprite and all the other women got a bunch of drinks. The group stuck the sprite person with the whole tab. Her $6 sprite turned into everyone else’s $700 bar tab.
As a fan of your work. I would have no problem being a straight friend of yours 😊. I understand and agree with your talking points.
There are online savings accounts that pay over 4% right now. Historically real investment is better, but it's an option for your emergency fund.
The downside is they tend to be online only. As we saw with crowdstrike, that is a risk too. (And avoid mediated accounts where a third party app uses a bank for you).
Not a real recommendation, but it 4.4% at least beats inflation. Often a low ($500) or no minimum.
Hi there, love the Patreon and also thanks so much for bringing up the panic aspect of anxiety and how it comes from attaching your identity to certain aspects of your life (for me it’s career).
Some quick feedback - I unsubscribed from the Patreon because when I had office hours with you (only made it once) it was webinar style with questions only in the chat. It seemed too formal for me. Have you considered switching to Zoom style so you can see and hear all of your members? I might rejoin if you make that change. I’ve been a dedicated follower since 2019 and admire the business you’ve built. I hope to do something similar one day.
I hope this feedback is helpful.
Thanks,
Hanedi
I agree Chelsea! That stresses me out a lot! I’ve seen it get really bad and take friend for the worst
I was very worried about my niece (who is turning 13 next week) and her screen time. Literally, her and her siblings have their own iPads. Despite this, she is constantly reading and I might be biased, but she is very well informed for her age and is very involved in her school.🥹
Do you have a video somewhere of you speaking about the process of self publishing? My husband has wanted to but we have no idea where to even start
She does! It’s a video from about a year ago, titled “How I got over my fear and invested in myself”
So happy I found this channel!
“I think a lot of heterosexual marriage is really bad-or at least mediocre” EXACTLY 🙌🏼❤
Do you have an episode on how to evaluate a fund for investment?
Oh my gosh!! Please add "it's about the money" on just the housewives of OC and specifically Jenn!!! The last episode was both wild...and sadly very common!!!
Movies to see to understand anxiety - I say add Inside Out 2 to the list ❤😊
Also edit since I've gotten further in the podcast: Ppl who suck by modern standards are definitely rampant in beloved art. Most of the ones people bring up (Shakespeare, Mozart, etc) are dead and/or not actively making money off of their properties. Ppl who also suck by the standards of the time in which they live and actively makes money from their properties are a different story. I don't think we ought to engage with that stuff with money or attention. Liking the stuff is morally neutral. Buying it is not.
The hotel affairs sounds like inspiration for your next book
I loved the hp books but have never had a complete set of the books. Every time I go to the thrift store I look for them so I can complete my collection without giving jk Rowling any of my money :)
So i've been on a mental health reading journey and they've got some suggestions. Hands down best book i've read is The Myth of Normal by Dr Mate Gabor. It's very well-researched and well sourced and talks, big picture, social scale and more individual scale. The idea of "trauma is not what happens to us, it's what happens inside us", has been super super helpful. Well the book is quite readable, it is also LONG and pretty emotionally taxing to read, so I wouldn't recommend it as a starter book on the subject. Best starter book is Chatter: the Voice in our Heads by Ethan Kross, which dives into the vital function of the voices in her head and ways to calm them when they become too much. I particularly liked that. This one was divided up by really practical tips for talking back your inner voices.
This is also a bit of a side topic, but I found the book Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virgina sole-smith To be quite transformational For me in terms of body positivity. I love that book and I'm not a parent, so don't be put off by the subtitle if that's not your journey. Additional shout out to The Body is Not an Apology, by Sonya Renee Taylor.
I have to wonder about being aware of money constantly.
That is exactly how I lose weight. However it is considered disordered in many contexts, and I have to ruthlessly suppress it around friends with eating disorders because it's really bad for them to be exposed to that thinking.
It also can be really bad (money now) for anxiety. I suspect you're like me though, you now have fonancial stability so you can plan and do stuff
But for someone staring at a $500 balance and thinking "if my car breaks, I can't pay rent" checking the balance every day might be very unhealthy. Maybe.
I thibk it's a great way to control spending. Just like it is for my diet. But I also know my friend's therapist would not he happy with me.
Agree. As someone with anxiety, dycalculia, etc it doesn't work for me
Being aware of how much money you have at any moment does not mean that you check your bank account every single day. it means that you have a rough estimate of how much is in your accounts so that you are aware of what your financial situation is in actual numbers. So maybe you check once a week and you have a general idea how much you’re spending on your major bills like housing, transportation, & food. When I used to have a lot less money in my savings ( less than $1000), I was very vigilant because overdrafting could cost me more money, and I didn’t want to pay one single dime to the bank that I didn’t absolutely have to. Not knowing how much money you have in your account, especially if you are struggling financially, can cause more disordered habits with your spending.
How much does your Financial Advisor charge? Thx
I think my problem with the "real people" interviews is that there was not enough pushback when something really problematic was said.
Any example?
@@ang5035maybe the recent person who is experiencing unstable housing and living out of their vehicle .
I get this point but I get TFD’s reluctance to take people down and delve beyond their level of comfort
Specifically that 'friendly debate" with adam caroll when he implied ppl are no longer purchasing homes because they'd rather rent and split costs with numerous roommates than pay a mortgage when anyone with one foot in the real world knows thats not true @@ang5035
@@ang5035 the adam Caroll "friendly debate"
The Phantom Tollbooth was my favorite!
Am I the only one who tunes into Fagan Chelsea whilst doing chores? LOL. Great channel
Confronting my money was one of the best decisions I ever made. I always budgeted loosely. But was always nervous about money. But I started using YNAB and it made me feel so much more confident in my spend and savings
Ynab turned my life around! I used to be too scared to even check my balance. Now budgeting is one of the highlights of my day.
Unwinding anxiety is also a good book!
I can't begin to relate to this entire concept of people taking several days to travel somewhere to be in attendance at someone's wedding. The whole thing seems to me like an exercise in grandiose self indulgence on the part of the marrying couple and masochism on the part of the attendee.
This was good. I will say the $700 sprite is truly that girl’s fault though and I stand by that lol
I cannot find the wedding episode. Do you remember the title by any chance?
@@loiracitr “I racked up 10k in credit card debt for other people’s weddings”, the cover photo has “bridesmaid tax”
@@GreatGospel97 thx!!
Totally her own fault-that’s the highest “no backbone” tax I’ve heard of in a looooong time
Can you make an audiobook for A Perfect Vintage?
Tuscany in summer is perfetto
Omg how good was Redwall?!
I don't see any links to buy your already published books on your website.
Chopin was a good person and was with George Sand for several years! LOL
Yeah, but don't get me started on Wagner.
24:05: There are plenty of reasons for women to have separate finances. Definitely do a podcast just on that topic. Several financial professionals cover the cold, hard facts on why it is a prudent idea due to women's socio-economic status in general.
It's weird how hostile married couples who totally combine finances are to other happy couples that use seperate+joint accounts. I have no ill will to any married couple who combine everything, good on you. My husband and I have never fought about money using separate accounts but splitting joint costs along income ratios. If we do divorce, yes it is all one pot to split up. But we don't plan on that, so we're happy as we go.
I just want to say that a loss of a dog has the same weight of losing a person. I hope Mona is well in her elder years 😊❤
Woody Allen’s recent stuff (last 15 years) feels very much AI-generated. You’re not missing much.
Disagree about coffee shops; they’re a unique 3rd space, you want to work on your laptop go to an internet cafe 😂 -I’m glad there are “no laptop” days or shops, my campus even had no electronics allowed library
It’s a vibe and that kind of 3rd space isn’t the same as when everyone is on laptops
Mona❤❤❤
The only thing allowing people to separate the art from the artist is the privilege of not being harmed by the harmful rhetoric and context of the artist . . . Boooo Chelsea, we need to be discussing the problematic aspects of the art and not pretending that the art we consume (like you mentioned no one is perfect-the correct response is to be critical not dismiss the problems outright because “no one is perfect”) isn’t inherently problematic
Real cool you've been focusing on regular folk...it's rare in media. Side note...kid stuff is cool. I took a children's lit class and there's some great books. I say be into whatever but don't financially support JK rowling anymore. Also aren't poorer people more likely to be seen as financially irresponsible? Wouldn't it be ideal to be friends with people in different classes? It's not how it is but just a thought
Good episode and wrap up of the seaon, which has been a nice change from the usual rhythm.
About art and separation of enjoyment from the personality of the artist. I kinda agree. No one is perfect and I find that some of the greatest artist are just awful people. There a quote from someon that I follow on twitter which often stays with me about celebrities and artists. The person stated that "all your faves are problematic". If you don't remember that, you will likely live in a state of eternal disappointment.
The “rEaL pEoPlE hAvE mIlLiOnS$$$$ AnD fEeLiNgS tOo 🥺😭” is perversely heavy handed in this “Q&A”
30:38 Don't even worry about it. It probably happens all the time, and nobody will remember. .... What was I talking about again? 😉
The side note on JK Rowling is so important. I think we sometimes take cancel culture too far. I mean, sure, shot down a racist joke, of course, but not seeing your aged relatives because they believe what Fox News says about immigrants is a stretch. The problem with public figures is that they might normalise certain discourse that we might disagree with - but then again the edification of celebrities to ethical guides is also crazy. Why do we care what an actor whose films we enjoy seeing thinks about politics or if they cheat on their spouse? It’s their own private affair. Let’s not have the same opinion on certain matters just because an artist whose work we admire thinks the same way. Plus, certain works of art have themes or handling of certain subjects that were okay the time they were written but since then we have learnt more about those issues and have a more nuanced and compassionate view on things. Does that mean we should scrub them, boycott them, burn them? No! Just read them, view them with a critical eye. We are all human, we make mistakes, we evolve, just because we once said/written/believed something that didn’t age well, doesn’t mean we are horrible people. Vilifying public people for things they might have said/done without fully thinking over their implications might be a clear reason why they dig themselves in deeper into those extremist views in the first place. Paraphrasing the words of one of the most compassionate persons in history in whose name horrible atrocities are committed regularly - only judge if you’ve never made any mistakes - maybe not even then.
I was a hard core Harry Potter fan as a child and young adult. The thing about JK Rowling is that she is using her money and outsized social media influence to launch attacks on marginalized communities today. Engaging with any new merchandise or IP puts money towards that. Just like I prefer not to, say, buy Chick-Fil-A or shop at Hobby Lobby, I can't in good conscience consume Harry Potter items anymore. I am by no means perfect, and I'm sure she is not hurting from my personal boycott, but it makes me feel better to know I'm aligning myself with the side of inclusion.
I feel the same way as you do regarding women who just decide to rely financially on their husband. I think it's very risky and even a bit stupid. I understand that every situation is unique but come on! Generations fought to obtain the rights we have now as women. It's upsetting! That is why the trad wife trend makes me want to 🤮
How do most of you guys still make profit, even with the downturn of the economy and ever increasing life standards
Well, I picked the challenge to put my finances in order. Then I invested in cryptocurrency, stocks, through the assistance of my discretionary fund manager
Julie Alma Stevens
This is correct, Julie's strategy has normalized winning trades for me also and it’s a huge milestone for me looking back to how it all started..
The first step to successful investment is figuring your goals and risk tolerance either on your own or with the help of a financial professional but it's very advisable you make use of professional
Yes, I agree with you. Her platform is wonderful, and her strategies are exceptional
Mozart tried to be a good person, but he had a lot of financial problems.
self-fraud 😆
Was that a diss on TS? That's a risk! (Re putting celebrities on pedestals).
Who is TS?
@@isaaccastillo5080 probably taylor swift. she does have a documentary about her
The fact that it would be "a risk" to say we shouldn't put her on a pedestal kind of proves her point.
Chelsea you make a lot of good points in your episodes but I can't keep supporting your channel after coming across the podcast section of your channel where you are furthering the cause of trans and drag people when we can see how much they continue to marginalize and overshadow women, it's not right and has nothing to do with being a progressive because I am one myself and being progressive means many other things.
I love JKR. Her books are fantastic and she stands up for real women. It’s disappointing that Chelsea wants to erase women. Maybe she thinks men make better women? Chelsea, you’re awful.
please shut the hell up omg
Was this comment written by a child?
Why saying trans women are women erases women? Please tell me!!
Her books my be great, but her beliefs are horrible. Wanting a group of people to not exist because you disagree with them is insane. Shake on JKR and people like you that share her same beliefs
@@stormyjacksonnobody said they should t exist. Not giving them the rights real women still have to fight for is another thing