Story 1: Ben has no right to go off on their Mom. Not when he's marrying 1 of the group of gals that tortured his sister. Ben doesn't give a crap about OP. OP is being blind. She'll be back later on whining how her SIL did ______ to her. Brother is backing his wife.
People who say OP is just being dramatic over not wanting to go to her brothers wedding because the girls who harassed her in high school would be there, have obviously never been picked on in their life. I was bullied in high school and I would never put myself in a situation to be with someone who made 5 years of my life unbearable. OP's bullies were a lot worse than mine but, seriously it's like telling a victim to hug their abuser. "Just get over it" is the most callous thing you could say to someone. Regardless of how long ago it was trauma is trauma.
Must be sad having a brother and mom, who tell you to stop being selfish and get over it. Its so weird to me that her brother dated her bully and continued to do it even after knowing that his lover was his own sister's bully.
Apparently, she wasn't an actual bully, just friends with the bullies... and she actually made effort to connect with her... What's really bothering is that she's still friends with those bullies.... Like, sure, some of them probably were peer pressured into it and the entire school was involved...
@@TheDeathmail Fae did clear that up too. The girls all trauma-bonded. It's sad, but chances are that they leaned on each other to support a bulk of their issues, then used OP as a scapegoat for the excess stress. It is one of the methods subconsciously used to perpetuate the cycle of ab.use. However, Fae dropping her friends would first require her to face the struggles she went through back then all over again. But it seems like she's self-aware enough to draw a balance.
a little related: I remember dr phil reaming a so called "M" apologizing for abuse of the daughter her entire life. I missed a lot of the details but, if you watch these people long enough, they have 'tells' when they are sincere or insincere. I do think the so called "M" used the typical 'cop-out' of 'I'm sorry if I did anything wrong'. which is a NON-APOLOGY. And Dr Phil called her out on it. if my own egg donor was finally called out and bcked into a corner she'd apologize but the tone of voice and body language stated "I'm only saying I"m sorry because they caught me, but I really am not and I am entitled to be just as nasty and vicious the next time because of the 'i'm sorry' cop out phony apology. I do NOT accept any apology from abusers. one can accept an apology. one does not need to have anything to do with them ever again, even if it wears the label of 'family'.
Story 2: This is all on OP at this point. The guy was a sleaze bag and was OBVIOUSLY a sleaze bag. I give her a pass on the first issues - but after that it was basically a true pattern being established
hundreds of people giving bad advice because they all say divorce or assume they know everything about someone from just one post causing her to doubt her instinct which was contrary to what they told her to do but yeah, all her fault
@@alapeno2495 See, you got there! And to be clear - i gave her a pass on the initial issues but then he kept doing stuff and she kept putting up with it…
story 1 - just go to therapy even if all you do is sit there. if it's under your insurance. I say this because your mind will do everything not to address the problem. So having to just sit there and get to know or talk about stuff is a lot like getting a regular teeth cleaning. You may not always have cavities to work on. But it's always good to get a cleaning from time to time.
and she started down the same path because she beweeeeeveeeed him. hahahahahha. talk about falling for the same trick. and now two kids. that is what you call a girl with 2 kids. did not learn the first time. she has now chained herself to him twice because he has legal rights. no matter what she wants or says. warning, cow pie in your way. warning unheeded and goes ahead to step into it
I remember story 2. Reddit told her that Jade deserves to know her father. But OP shouldn't sleep with him. This is all on OP. Giving matt one chance, is the right thing to do, for the sake of OP"s daughter
@@HeoBaby24 and considering the guys previous behavior it really wasn't that hard to imagine how it would end. there was no reason whatsoever to let this guy into their life's again. i will never get why people think any parent like that deserves to be in the child's life. for what reason? they've already shown to have a shitty character and questionable morals (if any). so why on earth would anyone think they should be raising and or influencing a child? and since it seems he would have ditched again anyway, op falling for him again is rather irrelevant. the child woukd have been hurt either way by him leaving. if someone already displayed what a shitty and immoral human being they are, the right thing is to assume they'd be a good parent? deranged logic.
@@cipher5150 seriously like your getting all this information about how horrible the guy is and they just acting like he'll be a good dad? when he's shown to drop off the face of the planet. like he probably knew op was pregnant but chose to not get back in contact. still reddit can't accept fault in they're own bullshit and just continue judging. like accept that you're partly at fault not continuing blaming the person you gave shitty advice too
@@HeoBaby24 well, reddit in a nutshell. I've seen incredible outcomes from people getting advice there, no doubt. and everyone likes to take that credit then. but also seen the exact opposite, giving shitty advice and if it goes south, it's on the op of course. everyone that advised op to let that guy into the daughters life, f'd up because they thought a parent deserves it. makes me wonder where the line is for those people, what f'd up shit does a person have to do to not deserve it 🙄
@@cipher5150People that did what he did can change, and she could've MAYBE open the door a bit for him to see what happens, but between that and doing a fucking sommersault into the flames there is a big as fuck difference
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
classic reddit refusing to take any responsibility for the advice they gave (second story)
Story 1: Ben has no right to go off on their Mom. Not when he's marrying 1 of the group of gals that tortured his sister. Ben doesn't give a crap about OP. OP is being blind. She'll be back later on whining how her SIL did ______ to her. Brother is backing his wife.
People who say OP is just being dramatic over not wanting to go to her brothers wedding because the girls who harassed her in high school would be there, have obviously never been picked on in their life. I was bullied in high school and I would never put myself in a situation to be with someone who made 5 years of my life unbearable. OP's bullies were a lot worse than mine but, seriously it's like telling a victim to hug their abuser. "Just get over it" is the most callous thing you could say to someone. Regardless of how long ago it was trauma is trauma.
Must be sad having a brother and mom, who tell you to stop being selfish and get over it. Its so weird to me that her brother dated her bully and continued to do it even after knowing that his lover was his own sister's bully.
Apparently, she wasn't an actual bully, just friends with the bullies... and she actually made effort to connect with her...
What's really bothering is that she's still friends with those bullies....
Like, sure, some of them probably were peer pressured into it and the entire school was involved...
@@TheDeathmail Fae did clear that up too. The girls all trauma-bonded. It's sad, but chances are that they leaned on each other to support a bulk of their issues, then used OP as a scapegoat for the excess stress. It is one of the methods subconsciously used to perpetuate the cycle of ab.use.
However, Fae dropping her friends would first require her to face the struggles she went through back then all over again. But it seems like she's self-aware enough to draw a balance.
a little related: I remember dr phil reaming a so called "M" apologizing for abuse of the daughter her entire life. I missed a lot of the details but, if you watch these people long enough, they have 'tells' when they are sincere or insincere. I do think the so called "M" used the typical 'cop-out' of 'I'm sorry if I did anything wrong'. which is a NON-APOLOGY. And Dr Phil called her out on it.
if my own egg donor was finally called out and bcked into a corner she'd apologize but the tone of voice and body language stated "I'm only saying I"m sorry because they caught me, but I really am not and I am entitled to be just as nasty and vicious the next time because of the 'i'm sorry' cop out phony apology. I do NOT accept any apology from abusers. one can accept an apology. one does not need to have anything to do with them ever again, even if it wears the label of 'family'.
Have you been bullied😊
Story 2: This is all on OP at this point. The guy was a sleaze bag and was OBVIOUSLY a sleaze bag.
I give her a pass on the first issues - but after that it was basically a true pattern being established
hundreds of people giving bad advice because they all say divorce or assume they know everything about someone from just one post causing her to doubt her instinct which was contrary to what they told her to do but yeah, all her fault
@@alapeno2495 See, you got there!
And to be clear - i gave her a pass on the initial issues but then he kept doing stuff and she kept putting up with it…
Weak as hell never should have had him or her around
story 1 - just go to therapy even if all you do is sit there. if it's under your insurance. I say this because your mind will do everything not to address the problem. So having to just sit there and get to know or talk about stuff is a lot like getting a regular teeth cleaning. You may not always have cavities to work on. But it's always good to get a cleaning from time to time.
😔 I think there well be a time that the bully friends will be bully you again
2nd story has a update posted posted just 3 months ago
and she started down the same path because she beweeeeeveeeed him. hahahahahha. talk about falling for the same trick. and now two kids. that is what you call a girl with 2 kids. did not learn the first time. she has now chained herself to him twice because he has legal rights. no matter what she wants or says. warning, cow pie in your way. warning unheeded and goes ahead to step into it
I remember story 2. Reddit told her that Jade deserves to know her father. But OP shouldn't sleep with him.
This is all on OP. Giving matt one chance, is the right thing to do, for the sake of OP"s daughter
she did and he dipped reddit need to take accountability for they're shit in this too not just op
@@HeoBaby24 and considering the guys previous behavior it really wasn't that hard to imagine how it would end. there was no reason whatsoever to let this guy into their life's again. i will never get why people think any parent like that deserves to be in the child's life. for what reason? they've already shown to have a shitty character and questionable morals (if any). so why on earth would anyone think they should be raising and or influencing a child?
and since it seems he would have ditched again anyway, op falling for him again is rather irrelevant. the child woukd have been hurt either way by him leaving.
if someone already displayed what a shitty and immoral human being they are, the right thing is to assume they'd be a good parent?
deranged logic.
@@cipher5150 seriously like your getting all this information about how horrible the guy is and they just acting like he'll be a good dad? when he's shown to drop off the face of the planet.
like he probably knew op was pregnant but chose to not get back in contact.
still reddit can't accept fault in they're own bullshit and just continue judging.
like accept that you're partly at fault not continuing blaming the person you gave shitty advice too
@@HeoBaby24 well, reddit in a nutshell.
I've seen incredible outcomes from people getting advice there, no doubt. and everyone likes to take that credit then.
but also seen the exact opposite, giving shitty advice and if it goes south, it's on the op of course.
everyone that advised op to let that guy into the daughters life, f'd up because they thought a parent deserves it. makes me wonder where the line is for those people, what f'd up shit does a person have to do to not deserve it 🙄
@@cipher5150People that did what he did can change, and she could've MAYBE open the door a bit for him to see what happens, but between that and doing a fucking sommersault into the flames there is a big as fuck difference
story 2 fake af lol
Maybe may not be
@@SecretVoices25 seems like it to me, feels like it’s written by someone that really hates men
Seems like that 😂😂
@@ultraboy2669that doesn't make it fake? what makes you think it's fake?
@@HeoBaby24 cause I don’t trust Reddit lol