Hi Sandra, not all of those points are actually true . My husband was a little messy and never pulled a chair in a restaurant. Also he didn't have friends because of work he did. But he was my best friend and provider . Also he was not a talkative person . And me being a teacher last thing I wanted to talk at home . If we are going to look for a perfect men we might never find one. I lost my husband one year ago . He was very sick and I looked after him ( had to quit my job) . Now I like my freedom very much and not even thinking of marrying again . But I would really like to have a travel companion . Absolutely love your reading Scriptures .
Neta, thanks for your input. That is so good to know that even though your husband did not have all of these points he was a good husband and friend. We have so much to learn from each other.
Definitely no perfect husband. My husband is messy, his car is a disaster lol. Which is why I won't ride in it anymore. But part of the reason is because he has dementia. We always go in my car now. There was a time where we could take off in his sports car with the top down. I can't drive a stick shift and I really don't want to learn now lol. He is moody with the dementia, but he still has his sense of humor at times. Life is a lot more stressful now in many ways. I try to incorporate the things that you suggest now when I can :-) My best friend lost her husband recently. We talk every single day, and we try to get out as much as possible just the two of us.
I’ve been a widow for 11 years and I’m only 55. The time or two I’ve even tried to “go there”… They were the most wonderful charming, pull your chair out, but you dinner, show up in time, send you flowers… on and on kind of guys! Then, when you actually need them- they are gone and unavailable. So, you can’t base things on physical and outward appearances and stances. That’s not a good thermometer. Im fine alone. Im safe that way and I don’t have to deal with crap. Id rather be home alone with a crappy house and no Christmas tree and no dinner or anyone to share it with- tha. Sone bug promising me the moon and buying e cap I do t want and not wanting to help me survive or basic necessities. Yeah- worry about the ones that want to wine n dine you.
That’s really nice that you want us to all find the perfect guy out there.. fact is- I am better off without a guy. I ca. pay for my yard upkeep and insurance and taxes and food and vehicles and in and on basic expenses. I don’t have to buy the newest clothes or crap- I can just be me and take care of what I need to by paying g someone to do what I need. I’ve experienced guys “wanting to help me” Crap!- id be way better off without them! And am! I have more than they do! But they drag you down and make you feel like crap! Yeah- don’t be fooled by the men out there. Take care of yourselves!
Are you ready to get married or cohabitate with an 80 +year old man. As my grandmother used to say, an old man is either looking for “a nurse or a purse!” Careful honey….third act, I know you are lonely. But there are plenty of volunteer opportunities out there.
Jazzy I couldn't agree more. Your grandmother sounded like a very smart woman. My 83 yr old daddy has found the same to be true of 70 yr old plus women..they too are looking for a nurse and or a purse. I encouraged my daddy to go through grief counseling after the loss of my momma, the counselor said you shouldn't even consider dating for at least 6 months to a year after a long marriage. That was such good advice, I was divorced for five years after my first marriage and I feel like I found myself during that time, instead of looking for love in someone else, I learned to love myself first. Been very happily married for over 20 years..to my amazing husband. He was worth waiting for.
A nurse or a purse, I like that one your grandmother was very smart 😉 This is very good advice, thanks Sandra. Although, I think I want to stay single 🙏
Great advice! I’m so happy I found your channel tonight. I love that you’re a Christian. I haven’t found very many Christian channels. You have so much wisdom.
You would be so much happier in the long run if you would stay single and find a good best gal pals circle of friends and a dog ! After the age of 60 it's too risky with health issues that you might wind up spending your last years dealing with all that comes with that ! Just my advice ! It will get easier ! God bless!
Hi Sandra, I just had a nice cup of coffee and I kind of cuddled up on my couch and listen to you. I love your advice and the things you say parallel my husband who was so beautiful and such a gentleman he was an eagle scout! That tells you a lot right there. I just want to thank you for these talks and for adding the scripture at the end it's such a beautiful thing. God bless you! And Happy mother's Day 🌹
Yes, that's a good thing to remember: If he's not well-behaved when he's dating and putting his best foot forward, he's going to be even less well-behaved when you marry him.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 I can't remember if it was in this video or one of your others that you mentioned just wanting a man to be friends with. I think that's where I am, though I hadn't put it into an actual thought yet. I don't know whether I'll ever want to remarry, and to be honest, I'm not myself yet -- I wouldn't attract the right kind of man. But I miss having a man in my life. Maybe it's time for just that.
Hello again Sandra! The list you put together was thought provoking. I noticed the questions were mostly things to steer clear of or warning signs ⚠️ I have a lady friend in her mid sixties who sez she's done trying to meet Mr right. Most of the men she meets hv children & grandchildren who take most of their time. They become their number one priority and she ends up filling unappreciated. "Don't sell your self short" Good advice! ❤️
Hi Sandra, I really enjoy your videos and have watched all of them so far. Yes, I have subscribed and I gave you a thumbs up every time. I’m a widow of 6 months and today I cleaned out my husbands closet which was hard but I needed to do it. It was a big job so I’m taking a break now and watching this video. Thank you so much for your kind spirit and wisdom.
God bless you Sandra. You are a total delight. So glad I came across your channel. The Lord is really working through you to touch lives, including mine. Watching your videos is like visiting with a dear friend. I too was widowded, and just recently remarried. Love your openness and Godly wisdom. Thank you for taking the time to share your life so graciously.
Sandy, I totally love you. I love your strong faith and willingness to just share so freely and comfortably... Oh, the Word is so good, and even one verse is a sweet morsel. You are such a beautiful woman in every way, of course in the physical sense, but I could just sit here all night and listen to your calm and sweet voice giving such practical pointers... I am married almost 50 years now to my high school sweetheart, and as you went through this list tonight, I thought yes, yes, yes, that's him all right. It honestly wasn't always so, because we started out at 18 and 20, so we were young and immature and quite selfish at that age. We've seen our highs and lows, but the Lord preserved us despite ourselves at times. I love what you said about finding a man who's already going to church, not just willing to join you on your own spiritual walk. Everything you said is so true about a man who's kind to animals or who treats his own mother well etc. These are all pointers my mom gave me when I was a young girl. I hope all the young ladies in the audience make special note of these pointers, because they are true! Young ladies, don't kid yourselves into thinking love is all there is. You'll find out the hard way. But back to you, i don't even know how I happen to come across your channel just a few nights ago, but I listened to you the first night and thought wow, what a sweet soul. I finished that first video and immediately hit the subscribe and the little bell for notifications and I've hit the like and comment every night, which I have never done before. I've tried to go back each night now and watch one or two videos from the beginning of your channel so I can get caught up, listen to you talk about life as a new widow, a Christian, and a sort of a new friend, I guess. I'm so glad I found you! You are a class act. 😂
Such words of wisdom! I hope someone has listened closely and made the proper decisions. But, you know what they say, 'love is blind.' I've been married for 30 years. I would add to make sure the person has their own interests/hobbies. We have found that for us, having our own interests is very important. Hubby rides his mountain bike while I'm off riding my horse. We don't feel the need to do those things together. I don't drag him antiquing with me either. lol While hubby is building an RC plane, I'm crafting something. We have our son, our house, our pets, dinner every night, vacations, etc., together. We don't feel the need to do EVERYTHING together. It has worked well for us and neither of us feels left behind.
Your so beautiful. I can't believe your 79! You must tell us gals your beauty secrets please. You radiate joy and smile alot. I heard smiling takes ten years off ones age. Well twenty yours. I like your videos cause they relax me before sleeping. So much bad news so I tune in to videos that are peaceful. Thank you and I agree with your tips. God bless.
A lot of these are very good advice for us subscribers who are younger. I’m glad you have provided content for women of all ages. The complaints I have read in the comments seem to believe women are only widows past 60 years old.
Greetings from Tennessee…I enjoy your videos so much! Recently stumbled on your channel by accident. Referred it to a few friends too! Thank you for sharing your life and giving good advice.
My husband was the most wonderful man I have ever been with! He scores 100 on your all your questions! That’s why I have no intention of even having anymore men in my life … except my sons sons in law … grandsons, etc! But to appreciate what you are doing as you may just save a lady or two get into an intolerable relationship! So thankful for your vlogs! 🌈🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️🌹
Your channel came up and I am also a recent widow. My husband had brain cancer and lived for 26 months. Like you I was his sole care giver and locked down thru the pandemic. We were married for 49 years and had been high school sweethearts. I have not had a thought of anyone else in my life. I miss him terribly, and after 9 months of being without him, but only do things with other women. I am lucky that I choose Grief Share and am finishing my second 13 session course. My marriage was not perfect but we grew up together and he was my best friend companion, and loving father and grandfather. You made a statement about what type marriage you had and I think you hit the nail on the head. I have to ask how long you were married and how many times you have been married. I am not being critical, just you seem to have really thought this thru. I would have no idea what to think about. I think life involved with anyone else would just be too complicated, I will cling to my children, family and widowed friends. I still am in a fog but beginning to adjust to a new life and finding out who I am. Hugs from Oklahoma
I was married for 20 years to the Father of my children, but his alcoholic addiction destroyed our marriage. He has been dead many years now, but I will always have a special spot in my heart for him. My second husband and I were married almost 40 years and good times and bad I loved the man!
My boyfriend died in January. 80. Sold his property to another woman, while telling me he would give it to me. He refused to document that. Thought we were soulmates. Had no fun personality. He was moody. He flirted w all waitresses. I see why he had 2 failed marriages. I am looking forward to a better future. Had to go back to work at the age of 71. Smiling.
Just found your channel and i am enjoying it very much- Have been a widow for 6 months (49 years of marriage) I have no desire to find anyone I took care of my husband for two years He was my soul mate and I do not want to be with anyone I have my own interests and a part time business We have four kids Two live near me and two in another state I have always been very independent I was asked on a date just the other day and told him I am married because in my heart I still am Its not guilt It is simply zero interest on my part -
I don't understand why you'd want another man unless you're one of these women that have to have a man I was one that didn't want one but we're all different , but best of luck to you on your journey and I hope you do find what you're looking for I truly do God bless.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 it's been said you need to take one year and not get desperate, me I don't really care to have another man because I don't want to take care of one sounds selfish but I'm old to do this again, sure be nice to have a cup of coffee with one but it's all Small Talk At this point in your life, I rather go out with a couple women to have lunch or breakfast or have dinner at the house, I don't need someone 24/7. I hope you find what you're looking for we are all different
Hi Sandra, I had a wonderful second husband. Always loving ,helpful and Understanding. But the lord called him home 7 years ago..Thank You , Great advice.
My husband was a good man man .. loving person to me our families … great personality … a good provider and a wonderful caring boss to all his employees throughout his life timE
Hi Sandra. Hope you are well. Stumbled upon your channel and found this video very interesting and I agree with all your points! I am a 42 year old lady from the U.K. I have been in search of a good man since being Divorced for some time now. I finally feel ready and comfortable to let someone in my life again. You seem like such a warm and friendly lady . Your advice is much appreciated. Take care, all the best.
How old are you ? I remember you saying a number that I don't believe. You look like a 60 y old one. You are so lovely ! I am glad you started this channel. You are very talented . I am sure you have some experience with cameras and talking to other people . Keep it up the good work .
Hi Sandra! I found you the other night and you caugth my attention. Your personality impresed me, so calm to my ears, your so so wised advices. Sorry for my gramma, my English is not very good looking. I really love your videos. Please, show us your dooggie. I love your faith on Jesus Christ. Thank you for be our friend. Strong hug, Carol
You remind me of Dr.Laura, not afraid to lay it out there. No b.s. Unfortunately there is a huge shortage of truly good guys, especially in the younger crowd They have not been taught manners or respect. Like you said it's better to be alone than with someone who'll drive you crazy. Thanks for your honesty!
Hi Sandra. I am sorry you lost your husband. You are doing good grieving his loss. You are a beautiful Christian lady. I am 75 and I got Jesus as my Lord and Savior since I became 57. I was Jewish born in Israel and came to America in 1960 when I was 14 years. I am a widow losing my husband on October 28, 2003, and I miss him. God made me meet him, and we had three and a half years together. I know he is watching me along with my parents. I love Jesus Christ, and he is my husband. I am reading the book of John and am on Chapter 17. Jesus Christ gives me the Peace that passes all understanding. I live alone and my daughter and three grandchildren an hour away. I enjoy my solitude as I constantly think of Jesus and enjoy His presence. Take Care.😊
Excellent advice! Watched for my daughter, who's going to be 30, and is telling me it's slim picik'ins out there! She said the guys on the Christian dating site are worse than the regular! Anyway I am married, twice actually, & I agree with everything you said. I also enjoy you sharing scripture so much, thank you!
Everything you said is spot on👌🏼I love how classy you are. Larry was one lucky man. No one can replace him...but if you choose to be with another mate...I hope he's all those things. Another wonderful video...sending you love❤
I'm still catching up and enjoying this so much! I had two things I wanted to add and you may have said them somewhere else or I just missed them two of them would be political are you basically on the same page, and denomination for your church. Blessings to you ❤️
Sandra when you are looking for Elderly man everything about him is not going to be perfect..he might be a good man but have bad credit or he know how to handle money but he is sloppy or he might be very intelligent but has a quick temper.n a Elderly man is not going to change. .
The VERY reason that I have no use for the "feminist movement" .....I LOVE my husband's chivalrous traits ....love to see chivalry in ANY man. You seem a little down Ms. Sandy ....I'm sorry for the loss and everything it brings along with it.... you're still so freshly dealing with. Just ignore me if I was reading your mood inaccurately 😉. I love the scriptures that you share....the Lord's Word is SO POWERFUL! One of my favorite verses is "God commands His angels concerning you.. to guard you in all of your ways" .... without looking...I THINK that's Proverbs 91:11 🙏🤗 BTW.....you look lovely as always 🤗
Hi Sandra. Somehow your videos came up for me. How does RUclips know that I'm thinking about being a widow? My husband is very ill with COPD. Stage four and has been on oxygen for the past year. He just wants to stay home on the farm. I try to get out at least once a week as well as be a good and supportive wife. But it's very isolating and has been all through Covid. You have talked a little bit about the hard times with your husband's illness. I know you want to move forward now that he is gone. But I am wondering if you can give those of us who will soon be widows some good advice. I try to take it one day at a time.
Am glad to hear you speak after you troubles and the death of your husband. am jealous of you quiet time and the times that you have with God, something i would not want to part with to soon.
YOU have a darn good list. You are very good at this. Ive been married since l976 and we are both doing well but if my wife or I needed to follow your path, your advice is remarkable. I am enjoying your videos. I am watching all of them. Ha thanks Best of Luck to you and Bill I cant imagine you finding a better guy. Charley
Hi Sandra, I wanted to forward your runaway bride to someone and I think you took it down. It was a really helpful video. I believe a lot of widows can relate. I hope you can put it back up but if not I understand. Thank you for sharing your life.
Candace, it was very hurtful to him to read the comments about his motives when he just loved me and wanted to provide happiness for me. Out of respect for him I took it down, although it was a good video. He’s hurting enough as it is.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 I can imagine it did. It was helpful to me. I also was seeing a man that is a great person and can do things for me that I would love. However I also told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know if I ever would be ready for him. By the way when you mentioned the Munsey’s I was like oh my goodness! I was also from their background, the UPC. My husband and I pastored in California for over 30 years. We left the UPC in 1980. He died September 29, 2021 of bladder cancer. We were married almost 48 years. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life.
Nice when a marriage is healthy, and lasts til death. My marriage was terrible. Married at 19, and divorced at 29. My grown daughter lives in LA. I think, it was turbulent, because we were young and immature. It was also, a marriage without financial stability. We both worked in NY
I got married too young also Sally. Lasted about the same length as your marriage. My ex was the moody broody type, in retrospect I was the only one rowing the boat of our relationship for years and tried to make it work because of our daughter. I wish I had divorced him sooner. I tried marriage again to a lawyer, he was an alcoholic, that marriage only lasted 5 months because I didn't realize he had serious issues with alcohol. I dated a man when I was 40 and he waited until he was within 2 weeks of moving to another city before he actually left, he was a doctor. We had a nice time dating but after some time he started dating other women and then he moved to the other state. He basically started his life over again after his divorce in a new city. I asked him why he hadn't told me why he was moving and he said he had stayed for me, I think he was getting serious about me but I just don't think it's meant for me to get married again, I have become very independent and don't want to take care of a man after taking care of both parents for years. My career is my most important thing in this chapter of my life because I've learned no one is going to care about me as much as I care about my own well being. I'm tired of being used by men.
I appreciate your advice but I have to disagree with a couple. Personally, a man doesn't have to go to church, in my book. But he does need to live by the Golden Rule. I'm a good person but I don't have a lot of friends. I've found it very difficult to make and or hold on to possible friends, after retirement. I do have a few close friends, that I've known for many years but we live many miles apart. So I'm not sure that advice is fair. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. It sure would have helped me as a young woman.
I know a lot of this is about husbands, but I would like to comment about my elderly dad. I'm in my mid 60s and my dad is in his late '80s. He is still here, my mom passed away 8 years ago in her late 70s. He really drove her to her horrible illnesses and untimely death I believe. He was all the negative things that you describe in a man that you would not want. I hate to say it but that's him. Now that she's gone, I'm the target. I've always been targeted just like her because I'm a lot like my mom and he didn't like her either. The way that I'm different than my mom is that I wouldn't put up with it. I don't think she did either in her own way but she just felt like she couldn't escape. I would always stand up for her. My dad is a narcissist no doubt about it. My dad's favorite thing to do is to start conversations with me, and then not allow me to respond or speak without yelling over me. Normally I just ignore him or tell him I have to hang up the phone. Last night I had enough. I'm recovering from surgery, and he started it. I finally told him stop talking. Do not speak over me, don't call me unless you want to have a real conversation. I'm not available otherwise. If you have issues then go take it up with those other people. Of course then I'm a difficult person lol. It is sad. He has done a lot behind my back to interfere with the relationships with my children, with friends and other family members. After my mom passed away I cut ties for several years. Just because somebody is elderly doesn't mean that you owe them anything. Still have to put your boundaries there regardless. I really wish my mom could have lived a different life.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 she's definitely at peace, I'm trying to have some peace lol. I took care of my mom and I was with her when she passed away. She told me she always admired me for standing up. I just wish that things could have been different for her.
Hello Sandra ..I am new to your GREAT channel I am also in the GIFT of Golden Years .. handling LIFE solo ..for years now …little younger than yourself Suggestion put together a vlog for finning a GOLDLY GOOD man …to share GOLDEN YEAR together and with mutual JOY & HAPPINESS 🕊🎁🕊 Take care ..keep LOVE ALIVE ..all the days of LIVING
Does he attend church??? Don't be fooled by that!! I met a guy who my pastor introduced me to as I was new to that church. The pastor raved about him being in divinity school and that he was such a wonderful man. Turned out, he lived in a storage unit, rarely worked (but told me he had a construction business). This clown stole my car while I was at work and took lots of my personal items from my home and disappeared. The police never found him!! So, don't be thinking that church is the place to find a good man, because it is NOTT!!!!!
I have a nice boyfriend but he talks so much and gives details one by one to any story....I mean deal by deal that sometimes drives me crazy and he talks about his job all the time but he is a nice man.....MINDY
Listen to what he says. If he's serving the Lord, that will come out of his mouth. If he never refers to the Bible, then I don't care how many times he goes to church. The Lord is not part of his life.
Sandra, Also, everyone has different desires, if she wants to date, so be it. I feel that it may be more of a companionship at this point. And younger women do need advice from older women.
Nothing wrong with her wanting to have dinner/ conversation with a man. A lot of her advice is good for younger women who are desperate and take the first thing that comes along.
@@leticiavallejo7914 I was giving my opinion. At 82yrs. I just thought I haven't heard 82yr.old women going on dating sites. That's why these videos have a comment section, which I took advantage of. I did unsubscribe to her channel. For me to unrealistic. Good luck finding an old gentleman.
Girl, my mom is 88 and dates lol. I’m 58 and can’t stand dating and prefer the company of my friends. I have no desire to take care of a man anymore. That’s all it is at my age and above.
Hi Sandra, not all of those points are actually true . My husband was a little messy and never pulled a chair in a restaurant. Also he didn't have friends because of work he did. But he was my best friend and provider . Also he was not a talkative person . And me being a teacher last thing I wanted to talk at home . If we are going to look for a perfect men we might never find one. I lost my husband one year ago . He was very sick and I looked after him ( had to quit my job) . Now I like my freedom very much and not even thinking of marrying again . But I would really like to have a travel companion . Absolutely love your reading Scriptures .
Neta, thanks for your input. That is so good to know that even though your husband did not have all of these points he was a good husband and friend. We have so much to learn from each other.
That's true. There ARE acceptions. Lucky you dear. You must have had good chemistry with your husband which fogged all the 'ignore ables'
Definitely no perfect husband. My husband is messy, his car is a disaster lol. Which is why I won't ride in it anymore. But part of the reason is because he has dementia. We always go in my car now. There was a time where we could take off in his sports car with the top down. I can't drive a stick shift and I really don't want to learn now lol. He is moody with the dementia, but he still has his sense of humor at times. Life is a lot more stressful now in many ways. I try to incorporate the things that you suggest now when I can :-) My best friend lost her husband recently. We talk every single day, and we try to get out as much as possible just the two of us.
I’ve been a widow for 11 years and I’m only 55.
The time or two I’ve even tried to “go there”…
They were the most wonderful charming, pull your chair out, but you dinner, show up in time, send you flowers… on and on kind of guys! Then, when you actually need them- they are gone and unavailable. So, you can’t base things on physical and outward appearances and stances. That’s not a good thermometer.
Im fine alone. Im safe that way and I don’t have to deal with crap.
Id rather be home alone with a crappy house and no Christmas tree and no dinner or anyone to share it with- tha. Sone bug promising me the moon and buying e cap I do t want and not wanting to help me survive or basic necessities.
Yeah- worry about the ones that want to wine n dine you.
That’s really nice that you want us to all find the perfect guy out there..
fact is- I am better off without a guy. I ca. pay for my yard upkeep and insurance and taxes and food and vehicles and in and on basic expenses. I don’t have to buy the newest clothes or crap- I can just be me and take care of what I need to by paying g someone to do what I need.
I’ve experienced guys “wanting to help me”
Crap!- id be way better off without them! And am!
I have more than they do! But they drag you down and make you feel like crap! Yeah- don’t be fooled by the men out there. Take care of yourselves!
Are you ready to get married or cohabitate with an 80 +year old man. As my grandmother used to say, an old man is either looking for “a nurse or a purse!” Careful honey….third act, I know you are lonely. But there are plenty of volunteer opportunities out there.
Thanks for caring!
Jazzy I couldn't agree more. Your grandmother sounded like a very smart woman. My 83 yr old daddy has found the same to be true of 70 yr old plus women..they too are looking for a nurse and or a purse. I encouraged my daddy to go through grief counseling after the loss of my momma, the counselor said you shouldn't even consider dating for at least 6 months to a year after a long marriage. That was such good advice, I was divorced for five years after my first marriage and I feel like I found myself during that time, instead of looking for love in someone else, I learned to love myself first. Been very happily married for over 20 years..to my amazing husband. He was worth waiting for.
A nurse or a purse, I like that one your grandmother was very smart 😉 This is very good advice, thanks Sandra. Although, I think I want to stay single 🙏
This is good advice. Your grandmother was a wise lady!
I wished I had that list when I was young. Young people everything she said was true !!!
Yes, I wish I had had it also!!
Thank you!!
Great advice! I’m so happy I found your channel tonight. I love that you’re a Christian. I haven’t found very many Christian channels. You have so much wisdom.
You would be so much happier in the long run if you would stay single and find a good best gal pals circle of friends and a dog ! After the age of 60 it's too risky with health issues that you might wind up spending your last years dealing with all that comes with that ! Just my advice ! It will get easier ! God bless!
Hi Sandra, I just had a nice cup of coffee and I kind of cuddled up on my couch and listen to you. I love your advice and the things you say parallel my husband who was so beautiful and such a gentleman he was an eagle scout! That tells you a lot right there. I just want to thank you for these talks and for adding the scripture at the end it's such a beautiful thing. God bless you! And Happy mother's Day 🌹
Oh Debbie how your comment made me feel! Bless you!
Yes, that's a good thing to remember: If he's not well-behaved when he's dating and putting his best foot forward, he's going to be even less well-behaved when you marry him.
Yes, we always think we can change them!
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 I can't remember if it was in this video or one of your others that you mentioned just wanting a man to be friends with. I think that's where I am, though I hadn't put it into an actual thought yet. I don't know whether I'll ever want to remarry, and to be honest, I'm not myself yet -- I wouldn't attract the right kind of man. But I miss having a man in my life. Maybe it's time for just that.
Hello again Sandra! The list you put together was thought provoking. I noticed the questions were mostly things to steer clear of or warning signs ⚠️ I have a lady friend in her mid sixties who sez she's done trying to meet Mr right. Most of the men she meets hv children & grandchildren who take most of their time. They become their number one priority and she ends up filling unappreciated.
"Don't sell your self short" Good advice! ❤️
Thank you for your comment!!!
Hi Sandra, I really enjoy your videos and have watched all of them so far. Yes, I have subscribed and I gave you a thumbs up every time. I’m a widow of 6 months and today I cleaned out my husbands closet which was hard but I needed to do it. It was a big job so I’m taking a break now and watching this video. Thank you so much for your kind spirit and wisdom.
I'm so happy to hear you are moving forward. God has a plan for our lives.
Proud of you for facing your new life, blessings
God bless you Sandra. You are a total delight. So glad I came across your channel. The Lord is really working through you to touch lives, including mine. Watching your videos is like visiting with a dear friend.
I too was widowded, and just recently remarried. Love your openness and Godly wisdom. Thank you for taking the time to share your life so graciously.
Sandy, I totally love you. I love your strong faith and willingness to just share so freely and comfortably... Oh, the Word is so good, and even one verse is a sweet morsel. You are such a beautiful woman in every way, of course in the physical sense, but I could just sit here all night and listen to your calm and sweet voice giving such practical pointers... I am married almost 50 years now to my high school sweetheart, and as you went through this list tonight, I thought yes, yes, yes, that's him all right. It honestly wasn't always so, because we started out at 18 and 20, so we were young and immature and quite selfish at that age. We've seen our highs and lows, but the Lord preserved us despite ourselves at times. I love what you said about finding a man who's already going to church, not just willing to join you on your own spiritual walk. Everything you said is so true about a man who's kind to animals or who treats his own mother well etc. These are all pointers my mom gave me when I was a young girl. I hope all the young ladies in the audience make special note of these pointers, because they are true! Young ladies, don't kid yourselves into thinking love is all there is. You'll find out the hard way.
But back to you, i don't even know how I happen to come across your channel just a few nights ago, but I listened to you the first night and thought wow, what a sweet soul. I finished that first video and immediately hit the subscribe and the little bell for notifications and I've hit the like and comment every night, which I have never done before. I've tried to go back each night now and watch one or two videos from the beginning of your channel so I can get caught up, listen to you talk about life as a new widow, a Christian, and a sort of a new friend, I guess. I'm so glad I found you! You are a class act. 😂
God Bless you Dee! Thank you for your wonderful comment!
Such words of wisdom! I hope someone has listened closely and made the proper decisions. But, you know what they say, 'love is blind.' I've been married for 30 years. I would add to make sure the person has their own interests/hobbies. We have found that for us, having our own interests is very important. Hubby rides his mountain bike while I'm off riding my horse. We don't feel the need to do those things together. I don't drag him antiquing with me either. lol While hubby is building an RC plane, I'm crafting something. We have our son, our house, our pets, dinner every night, vacations, etc., together. We don't feel the need to do EVERYTHING together. It has worked well for us and neither of us feels left behind.
Oh, that is perfect!!!
The lighting in this video is perfect. 👍
Your so beautiful. I can't believe your 79! You must tell us gals your beauty secrets please. You radiate joy and smile alot. I heard smiling takes ten years off ones age. Well twenty yours. I like your videos cause they relax me before sleeping. So much bad news so I tune in to videos that are peaceful. Thank you and I agree with your tips. God bless.
I agree! Fitness routine, skin care, fashion sense, and so on.
A lot of these are very good advice for us subscribers who are younger. I’m glad you have provided content for women of all ages. The complaints I have read in the comments seem to believe women are only widows past 60 years old.
Greetings from Tennessee…I enjoy your videos so much! Recently stumbled on your channel by accident. Referred it to a few friends too! Thank you for sharing your life and giving good advice.
Oh Sharon, thank you! And welcome to my world!
My husband was the most wonderful man I have ever been with! He scores 100 on your all your questions!
That’s why I have no intention of even having anymore men in my life … except my sons sons in law … grandsons, etc!
But to appreciate what you are doing as you may just save a lady or two get into an intolerable relationship!
So thankful for your vlogs!
🌈🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️🌹
You are so blessed to have that wonderful husband!
Your channel came up and I am also a recent widow. My husband had brain cancer and lived for 26 months. Like you I was his sole care giver and locked down thru the pandemic. We were married for 49 years and had been high school sweethearts. I have not had a thought of anyone else in my life. I miss him terribly, and after 9 months of being without him, but only do things with other women. I am lucky that I choose Grief Share and am finishing my second 13 session course.
My marriage was not perfect but we grew up together and he was my best friend companion, and loving father and grandfather.
You made a statement about what type marriage you had and I think you hit the nail on the head. I have to ask how long you were married and how many times you have been married. I am not being critical, just you seem to have really thought this thru. I would have no idea what to think about. I think life involved with anyone else would just be too complicated, I will cling to my children, family and widowed friends. I still am in a fog but beginning to adjust to a new life and finding out who I am.
Hugs from Oklahoma
I was married for 20 years to the Father of my children, but his alcoholic addiction destroyed our marriage. He has been dead many years now, but I will always have a special spot in my heart for him. My second husband and I were married almost 40 years and good times and bad I loved the man!
My son died from Brain Cancer.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 I am so sorry. my husband died of brain cancer. I am so so sorry
My Grandmother told me when I was 17, never show a man your whole ass! Keep some mystery!
My boyfriend died in January. 80. Sold his property to another woman, while telling me he would give it to me. He refused to document that. Thought we were soulmates. Had no fun personality. He was moody. He flirted w all waitresses. I see why he had 2 failed marriages. I am looking forward to a better future. Had to go back to work at the age of 71. Smiling.
Just found your channel and i am enjoying it very much- Have been a widow for 6 months (49 years of marriage) I have no desire to find anyone I took care of my husband for two years He was my soul mate and I do not want to be with anyone I have my own interests and a part time business We have four kids Two live near me and two in another state I have always been very independent I was asked on a date just the other day and told him I am married because in my heart I still am Its not guilt It is simply zero interest on my part -
Good for you doing just what you feel like doing. Each one of us is taking a different path to the same place called Healed!
Please ...
please.. please Don't focus on finding a man. He has had decades to develop his habits...and most of them are bad.
I don't understand why you'd want another man unless you're one of these women that have to have a man I was one that didn't want one but we're all different , but best of luck to you on your journey and I hope you do find what you're looking for I truly do God bless.
I love the companionship, it’s all I’ve ever known.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 it's been said you need to take one year and not get desperate, me I don't really care to have another man because I don't want to take care of one sounds selfish but I'm old to do this again, sure be nice to have a cup of coffee with one but it's all Small Talk At this point in your life, I rather go out with a couple women to have lunch or breakfast or have dinner at the house, I don't need someone 24/7. I hope you find what you're looking for we are all different
Hi Sandra, I had a wonderful second husband. Always loving ,helpful and Understanding. But the lord called him home 7 years ago..Thank You , Great advice.
I’m so sorry you lost such a good man. There are a lot of good men in the world, they are maybe just a little quieter.💕🥰❤️
My husband was a good man
man .. loving person to me our families … great personality … a good provider and a wonderful caring boss to all his employees throughout his life timE
Connie you were so blessed!
Hi Sandra. Hope you are well. Stumbled upon your channel and found this video very interesting and I agree with all your points! I am a 42 year old lady from the U.K. I have been in search of a good man since being Divorced for some time now. I finally feel ready and comfortable to let someone in my life again. You seem like such a warm and friendly lady . Your advice is much appreciated. Take care, all the best.
How old are you ? I remember you saying a number that I don't believe. You look like a 60 y old one. You are so lovely ! I am glad you started this channel. You are very talented . I am sure you have some experience with cameras and talking to other people . Keep it up the good work .
Oh wow, thanks, I am 79 yrs old and have little experience with cameras, I think God is helping me!
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 maybe you could share with us how come that you are so young :) at your age . You are amazing .
You’re list sounds like a duplicate of mine! May God give you the desires if your heart…
Thank you so much Deb!
Your christisn faith is so inspirational too 🙌🙏❤
What a comprehensive guide.
Thank you. God bless your effort.
Lots of Love ❤️ and Prayers for you.
I love how you share your heart you have really blessed me so by it and all your great advice and the wisdom you have from. God 💘 is so wonderful.
Thank you Sandra - now I know why I am so miserable in my current married situation.
Oh Ginger, keep praying.🙏❤️💕
Hi Sandra! I found you the other night and you caugth my attention. Your personality impresed me, so calm to my ears, your so so wised advices. Sorry for my gramma, my English is not very good looking. I really love your videos. Please, show us your dooggie. I love your faith on Jesus Christ. Thank you for be our friend. Strong hug, Carol
Thank you Dear and hugs to you as well!
Very thought provoking I wish I had this list when younger. I sold myself short.Thank you.
You remind me of Dr.Laura, not afraid to lay it out there. No b.s. Unfortunately there is a huge shortage of truly good guys, especially in the younger crowd They have not been taught manners or respect. Like you said it's better to be alone than with someone who'll drive you crazy. Thanks for your honesty!
Thank you Deanna, there are some great guys out there, just a matter of finding them.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 I'm blessed. I found my guy, took 3 tries. He's not perfect but we make a good team.
@@deannastatler7712 No one is perfect, but it’s better then being alone.
Look at his friends. Birds of a feather, do indeed, flock to together.
Hi Sandra. I am sorry you lost your husband. You are doing good grieving his loss. You are a beautiful Christian lady. I am 75 and I got Jesus as my Lord and Savior since I became 57. I was Jewish born in Israel and came to America in 1960 when I was 14 years. I am a widow losing my husband on October 28, 2003, and I miss him. God made me meet him, and we had three and a half years together. I know he is watching me along with my parents. I love Jesus Christ, and he is my husband. I am reading the book of John and am on Chapter 17. Jesus Christ gives me the Peace that passes all understanding. I live alone and my daughter and three grandchildren an hour away. I enjoy my solitude as I constantly think of Jesus and enjoy His presence. Take Care.😊
I found out his scripture to be very true!
I love all of the points you gave in this part two of your list. Excellent!
Thank you Jane, I appreciated your input.
Wow I'd like to say, there's more to life than a man
Good grief already .
Amen to that
LOL!!
You got that right!!!
Excellent advice! Watched for my daughter, who's going to be 30, and is telling me it's slim picik'ins out there! She said the guys on the Christian dating site are worse than the regular! Anyway I am married, twice actually, & I agree with everything you said. I also enjoy you sharing scripture so much, thank you!
I’m going to do a video on dating sight advise for woman!
These are all great points!! It a shame this isn't taught in school! It would save a lot of women a lot of heart ache!
Everything you said is spot on👌🏼I love how classy you are. Larry was one lucky man. No one can replace him...but if you choose to be with another mate...I hope he's all those things. Another wonderful video...sending you love❤
I'm still catching up and enjoying this so much! I had two things I wanted to add and you may have said them somewhere else or I just missed them two of them would be political are you basically on the same page, and denomination for your church. Blessings to you ❤️
Mrs Peach, those are two very important points. Bill and I are both Conservative and both Baptized in the Holy Spirit.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 oh that is so awesome to hear God bless you both ❤️ and Happy Valentine's Day
Thank you Sandra! As a new subscriber I am slowly catching up with your videos. You are a joy to listen !!! Cheers
Sandra when you are looking for Elderly man everything about him is not going to be perfect..he might be a good man but have bad credit or he know how to handle money but he is sloppy or he might be very intelligent but has a quick temper.n a Elderly man is not going to change. .
Another great one Sandra- your a true Blessing 💕 Lynn Long
Thank you so much!
Lovely videos, I found this yesterday and I love the simplicity of it, the truth of it, I will follow with joy. Thank you 😍
Thank you Maria and welcome to my channel!
Can you talk about your skin routine, how you style your hair, make up tips, how to dress at 79 years old, how you stay healthy? How to save money?
Great advice!
Thanks for your comment Madison!
Ladies there is some really really good advice here, so if you want to find a good good man, please take Sandras advice to heart ❤️
Thank you Francine!
The VERY reason that I have no use for the "feminist movement" .....I LOVE my husband's chivalrous traits ....love to see chivalry in ANY man. You seem a little down Ms. Sandy ....I'm sorry for the loss and everything it brings along with it.... you're still so freshly dealing with. Just ignore me if I was reading your mood inaccurately 😉. I love the scriptures that you share....the Lord's Word is SO POWERFUL! One of my favorite verses is "God commands His angels concerning you.. to guard you in all of your ways" .... without looking...I THINK that's Proverbs 91:11 🙏🤗
BTW.....you look lovely as always 🤗
Good scripture Lori!
Thanks for the advice Sandra 🧡
Thank you for your comment! I’m so glad you got a chuckle out of it!
Hi Sandra. Somehow your videos came up for me. How does RUclips know that I'm thinking about being a widow? My husband is very ill with COPD. Stage four and has been on oxygen for the past year. He just wants to stay home on the farm. I try to get out at least once a week as well as be a good and supportive wife. But it's very isolating and has been all through Covid. You have talked a little bit about the hard times with your husband's illness. I know you want to move forward now that he is gone. But I am wondering if you can give those of us who will soon be widows some good advice. I try to take it one day at a time.
God will give you the Grace when you need it, don’t let it worry you. Live for today.
Thanks for your response. I'm learning more about grace every day 💓
Sorry. I do not feel like good men exist anymore. Not in my age bracket of 70.
Please keep your vlog going. Excellent work and knowledge.
Congratulations on your new great grandchild 🎉🙏
Oh, thank you!
Am glad to hear you speak after you troubles and the death of your husband. am jealous of you quiet time and the times that you have with God, something i would not want to part with to soon.
God bless you Sandra.
You are a breath of fresh air.
YOU have a darn good list. You are very good at this. Ive been married since l976 and we are both doing well but if my wife or I needed to follow your path, your advice is remarkable. I am enjoying your videos. I am watching all of them. Ha thanks Best of Luck to you and Bill I cant imagine you finding a better guy. Charley
Thank you Charley!!!
Thank you this made me have hope and I am a new subby😊🙏🏽💐
Hâte to say it, but I think you want a man quite close to your late husband, you are still grieving..
Hi Sandra, I wanted to forward your runaway bride to someone and I think you took it down. It was a really helpful video. I believe a lot of widows can relate. I hope you can put it back up but if not I understand.
Thank you for sharing your life.
Candace, it was very hurtful to him to read the comments about his motives when he just loved me and wanted to provide happiness for me. Out of respect for him I took it down, although it was a good video. He’s hurting enough as it is.
It had some comments that hurt his feelings, so I took it down. I do not want to hurt him anymore then I did.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 I can imagine it did. It was helpful to me. I also was seeing a man that is a great person and can do things for me that I would love. However I also told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know if I ever would be ready for him.
By the way when you mentioned the Munsey’s I was like oh my goodness! I was also from their background, the UPC. My husband and I pastored in California for over 30 years. We left the UPC in 1980. He died September 29, 2021 of bladder cancer. We were married almost 48 years. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life.
Great advise . Thank you Sandra
You are so welcome!
Very good food for thought! Thank you for sharing.
Hi Sandra i love all your answer so correct.
How long was your husband gone before you started dating? And which dating site ?
Zoosk Dating site. I cancelled my subscription, but for now I’m still on there . I’ll talk about the time element in future video.
Married twice. The first was abusive and the second was wonderful. Never again!
Nice when a marriage is healthy, and lasts til death. My marriage was terrible. Married at 19, and divorced at 29. My grown daughter lives in LA. I think, it was turbulent, because we were young and immature. It was also, a marriage without financial stability. We both worked in NY
I loved my husband, but I know what you mean.
I got married too young also Sally. Lasted about the same length as your marriage. My ex was the moody broody type, in retrospect I was the only one rowing the boat of our relationship for years and tried to make it work because of our daughter. I wish I had divorced him sooner. I tried marriage again to a lawyer, he was an alcoholic, that marriage only lasted 5 months because I didn't realize he had serious issues with alcohol. I dated a man when I was 40 and he waited until he was within 2 weeks of moving to another city before he actually left, he was a doctor. We had a nice time dating but after some time he started dating other women and then he moved to the other state. He basically started his life over again after his divorce in a new city. I asked him why he hadn't told me why he was moving and he said he had stayed for me, I think he was getting serious about me but I just don't think it's meant for me to get married again, I have become very independent and don't want to take care of a man after taking care of both parents for years. My career is my most important thing in this chapter of my life because I've learned no one is going to care about me as much as I care about my own well being. I'm tired of being used by men.
Good advise for any age.
Sandy..at our age you'll be taking care of him.Do you really want that? Also Think about his kids and their issues, coming Ling $.
Excellent advice!
Good advice
thank you for sharing ☺️
The list you read is not a man that puts God first and love Him reverentially. Run.
I appreciate your advice but I have to disagree with a couple. Personally, a man doesn't have to go to church, in my book. But he does need to live by the Golden Rule. I'm a good person but I don't have a lot of friends. I've found it very difficult to make and or hold on to possible friends, after retirement. I do have a few close friends, that I've known for many years but we live many miles apart. So I'm not sure that advice is fair. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. It sure would have helped me as a young woman.
Thanks for your input!
Amen this was wonderful 💞
I know a lot of this is about husbands, but I would like to comment about my elderly dad. I'm in my mid 60s and my dad is in his late '80s. He is still here, my mom passed away 8 years ago in her late 70s. He really drove her to her horrible illnesses and untimely death I believe. He was all the negative things that you describe in a man that you would not want. I hate to say it but that's him. Now that she's gone, I'm the target. I've always been targeted just like her because I'm a lot like my mom and he didn't like her either. The way that I'm different than my mom is that I wouldn't put up with it. I don't think she did either in her own way but she just felt like she couldn't escape. I would always stand up for her. My dad is a narcissist no doubt about it. My dad's favorite thing to do is to start conversations with me, and then not allow me to respond or speak without yelling over me. Normally I just ignore him or tell him I have to hang up the phone. Last night I had enough. I'm recovering from surgery, and he started it. I finally told him stop talking. Do not speak over me, don't call me unless you want to have a real conversation. I'm not available otherwise. If you have issues then go take it up with those other people. Of course then I'm a difficult person lol. It is sad. He has done a lot behind my back to interfere with the relationships with my children, with friends and other family members. After my mom passed away I cut ties for several years. Just because somebody is elderly doesn't mean that you owe them anything. Still have to put your boundaries there regardless. I really wish my mom could have lived a different life.
God rest her soul, she’s at peace now.
@@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60 she's definitely at peace, I'm trying to have some peace lol. I took care of my mom and I was with her when she passed away. She told me she always admired me for standing up. I just wish that things could have been different for her.
Hello Sandra ..I am new to your GREAT channel
I am also in the GIFT of Golden Years .. handling
LIFE solo ..for years now …little younger than
yourself
Suggestion put together a vlog for finning a
GOLDLY GOOD man …to share GOLDEN YEAR
together and with mutual JOY & HAPPINESS 🕊🎁🕊
Take care ..keep LOVE ALIVE ..all the days of LIVING
ruclips.net/video/SGBC7Ya-cbc/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/JlpzhmBj1Tw/видео.html
I am not looking for a man.I am in my 70s Still very interesting .
Does he attend church??? Don't be fooled by that!! I met a guy who my pastor introduced me to as I was new to that church. The pastor raved about him being in divinity school and that he was such a wonderful man. Turned out, he lived in a storage unit, rarely worked (but told me he had a construction business). This clown stole my car while I was at work and took lots of my personal items from my home and disappeared. The police never found him!! So, don't be thinking that church is the place to find a good man, because it is NOTT!!!!!
Marshia, I'm so sorry that happened to you. God see's everything, he also sees you and will uphold you.
I have a nice boyfriend but he talks so much and gives details one by one to any story....I mean deal by deal that sometimes drives me crazy and he talks about his job all the time but he is a nice man.....MINDY
Thank you!!!
Thank you. 😊
Hi Sandra, I recently lost my husband, I’m so lonely…😢. Could your recommend a decent dating site. So scary…
I used Zoosk. I’m going to be making a video concerning dating sites.💕🥰
I just put a new video up on this very subject!💕🥰
I think I fill the Bill on this one at least the good part.
Good advice!
Great!!! God is so Good!!!
Get u a young man train him.the way u want get around people that laughgo places or do things u enjoy laugh enjoy ur self
Sandra , we guarantee you won't
Find any man just sitting honey on dating sites, getting out encounter life,isn't that what Christ did?
♥️
Listen to what he says. If he's serving the Lord, that will come out of his mouth. If he never refers to the Bible, then I don't care how many times he goes to church. The Lord is not part of his life.
This is all of the above….where is the other 1%. ??? Lol
You. Pray for That I'm Sure. He. Will. Ans
..
Comingling
ᵖʳᵒᵐᵒˢᵐ 😻
I'm out. Girl your 80yrs old. Enjoy your life with girlfriends, travel so much to do. Your list is unrealistic.
She was giving tips to younger women more than older women.
Sandra, Also, everyone has different desires, if she wants to date, so be it. I feel that it may be more of a companionship at this point. And younger women do need advice from older women.
Nothing wrong with her wanting to have dinner/ conversation with a man. A lot of her advice is good for younger women who are desperate and take the first thing that comes along.
@@leticiavallejo7914 I was giving my opinion. At 82yrs. I just thought I haven't heard 82yr.old women going on dating sites. That's why these videos have a comment section, which I took advantage of. I did unsubscribe to her channel. For me to unrealistic. Good luck finding an old gentleman.
Girl, my mom is 88 and dates lol. I’m 58 and can’t stand dating and prefer the company of my friends. I have no desire to take care of a man anymore. That’s all it is at my age and above.