How One Woman Escaped Our Mindless Shopping Culture
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2024
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Chelsea sits down with Page Pritchard of Overcoming Overspending to talk about how we got into this mess of toxic consumerism, and how we can use basic psychological tools to escape it.
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Getting off/limiting social media is not the worst idea. Here I am, a homemaker in my 30s, and I had no idea decorating with new stuff every Christmas was a thing. I've been happily bringing out the same decor for fifteen years without a clue.
I always have a lot of nostalgia when I see certain decorations or ornaments at my parents or grandparents houses, and I am building some sentimental pieces for kids. Isn’t that one of the nice things about Christmas? New stuff every year would ruin that!
In some cultures it’s the norm. I grew up in the Caribbean where it was normal for every year to paint your home
And change the colour theme of your house; new curtains, bedding, accents etc. Sometimes it’s not just social media but our environment
Exactly. I feel bad when all my friends and coworkers are buying paint, new soft furnishings and other things for their homes PLUS all the ingredients for their big Christmas dinners when I can just afford a sheet set. Sure, I always got a Christmas bonus, but I use it to survive the long January and to pay down on some of my debts.
yeh and who would remember how somebody ELSE decorated their house last Christmas. NObody has room in their head to recall that amount of detail about somebody else
@@BeautyOutspoken Normally, when there's a tradition that takes some amount of work, there's a practical reason. I assumed without knowing that paint doesn't hold up well in hot and wet environments and also fabric like curtains can become moldy easier. That would be one reason for changing everything regularly. Do you think that could be a reason for the tradition? There's probably more to it.
These anti-consumerist talks TFD does are some of my favorites. I still haven't been able to totally shed the Y2K consumerist craze. Its unusual how the US has a level of material abundance unparalleled yet the public has been driven into such a severe scarcity mindset.
That is so true! I had never thought about that- you would think the abundance would make ppl in the US more generous. I think it’s bc the same marketing that gets us to spend on so much stuff is the one selling us the idea that we don’t have enough/the right thing yet so we don’t stop buying. But how could the marketing be stronger than our own lived experience of having so much stuff that were drowning in it… it’s so strange!
Lowering your consumption is a hard one to overcome. I’m on my own journey and have gotten better over time. What finally got me to change my mind was when I added up all the mindless shopping trips that where not necessities and realize I could have gone on a week cruise and had more experiences thru out the year
@@ae-holo5972 I think it was on the Sustain This! Podcast that I heard the recommendation to add items to your wishlist instead of buying them right away, and then to add up what you would have spent if you bought it right away. It’s a similar idea but more of a motivational thing to help you delay and maybe entirely postpone purchasing stuff.
@@AnaRodriguez-wn8qqcompanies make massive investments in marketing, leveraging everything we know about human psychology to persuade you to spend.
@@AnaRodriguez-wn8qqpeople simply aren’t grateful for the things they already have, our culture focuses on the problems and then sells us ways to fix them, whereas many other cultures focus on tradition and preservation and most people will work with that they have. I say this as someone who frequently caves to the consumerist mindset
TRANSFORMATION THROUGH CONSUMPTION - our culture teaches us that meaning and personal growth are acheived by the acquisition of objects/belongings.
Worse, your worth is your possessions. Your volume of possessions.
Yes
The taking a picture of stuff you want to buy idea is what I do with my kids. Whenever they beg for a toy at the store, I say, "Okay, let's take a picture for your birthday wish list/Christmas wish list (whichever event is closer at the time)." Since I have done it from the very beginning with them, they love doing it and don't whine about me not purchasing the item immediately. 😊🎉
I love this idea!! 🎉
That's genius!
As a chubby girl growing up, I always dreamt that the new outfit I would buy would make everyone think differently about me. Add being financially challenged only made it worse. Whether I had designer clothes on or stuff from Walmart, the same people would ignore me and the same people would compliment me. Even knowing this, I constantly have to fight the thoughts that tell I need the new thing and accept myself.
Thank you for saying this! This is my exact experience!
I had a similar experience and I was just shy of 6 feet tall by 8th grade. Plus size clothing didn’t exist… heck…clothing for ANY kind of plus size .. I also grew up in a very rural area with nothing within a hour that counted as a mall.
I have big feet, but I’m also a very tall women 6ft2.
There were never any shoes for me growing up so always had to wear boots. So when I started making my own money you had these specialty show stores. The shoes were 150 and I’m talking about 20 years ago. It was a lot of money but I collected those shoes like a squirrel collects his nuts for winter. As with different feminine shoes, you can also wear different clothing like dresses.
It does something with your mind that stuff.
I had 60 pairs of shoes. Granted, they weren’t all 150 as I did buy them during sale as well but that’s a lot of moneylenders shoes I barely wore in the end. It didn’t make me feel better either because as it turns out heels are a pain, not practical and you can only wear 1 pair at the time…
Thank you for sharing this I can totally relate to what you wrote
I hear you, I used to think the right shade of lipstick was going to make me beautiful. I'm in my fifties and now I can look in the mirror and think, that is the face of an attractive, approachable, friendly woman, what's not to like?? and feel less apologetic for being me.
"you cannot spend your way into a new person"
Two years ago I prioritized only buying handmade or used clothing. I have a small closet that I rotate these items through and I never feel like I don’t have anything to wear. Buy nice or buy twice.
"Buy nice or buy twice." I love that!
I work for a big manufacturer and absolutely right, the “hijacking” of the human brain via marketing is totally a stacked deck against the consumer. Brands spend tons of money on consumer data and expert research to learn about behavioral and psychological phenomena to better position themselves as the most obvious thing to acquire but in the most thoughtless way possible. When you wonder “who even cares about my data”, the answer is every entity that has ever needed to profit off your preferences, be that a retailer, a product manufacturer, a brand, a store associate. An insane fact I learned recently: some grocery chains make more money from selling their (anonymized) shopper/sales data back to manufacturers and distributors than they do from selling actual groceries.
Sick
@@turtleanton6539 definitely feels like it. I think the data collection in itself I find not so sinister, but I find the lack of regulation around it extremely disturbing. If anything, I think individuals should be the ones profiting from their data being collected instead of corporations. Right now, only the EU I think has a law specifying the individual’s right to control their own data that is in the hands of a company that has collected it.
One way to fight the harvesting of your information is paying with CASH.
I 100% agree with Paige's point about addressing the deeper reasons we over-consume. Yes, unsubscribing to marketing emails might help, but it's not a long-term strategy. I've found that I spend when I want to stop feeling negative emotions. Maybe I'm bored or sad. I'm working hard to get better but it's still a huge challenge.
The insight is important but even if you had the answer, the habit has outgrown the cause.
Watching horder documentaries also help, listening to the minimalist podcast also. Shopping addiction should be recognized as a form of self harm, your future is stolen by credit.
I go to estate sales sometimes, and that gives me the same kind of feeling as the hoarder documentaries. I just look at all the stuff people are trying to sell, and it makes me think about all of my stuff and whether anyone would even want it and what a chore it would be to get rid of it all. It makes me want less.
Yes indeed
What you said on justifying more & bigger totally resonates with me. I remember the day I came to work and told a friend that we just bought the apartment we rented for like 7 years and are so happy in. She said: "What? You are two people and this is just a 530 sqft apartment! This is stupid! My rented 850 sqft are to small for me alone sometimes!" - I mean don't get me wrong but as a recovering shopping addict & recovered emotional hoarder this day was a really big thing for me. I never thought I would ever gonna be able to get to that point in my life. And 2 days ago I was able to pay the mortgage off. Now the - in her words - tiny downtown apartment is mine and more than enough space for two minimalists with their wonderful dogs. Nobody and no mean comment from 'friends' can take that feeling of freedom away from me.
With friends like that...who needs enemies!lol! I drove an ancient toyota w great fuel economy for 10 years.i paid $500 cash for it and i still miss it to this day.i my coworkers made horrible comments aboutnit but they all have car payments. I have a more modern car now...still bought secondhand no car payments..still small..a stickshift and good onbgas.why give your money to car companies..banks ..petroleum companies.small cars are the norm in europe..as is stick shift.people here sneer at small cars..but i dont worry about the pricenof gas like all those SUV drivers do.
Sounds like jealousy. Congrats on your new home. 🎉
A great way to scratch the consumerist itch and the aspirational "spending" is to visit the public library. You can have whatever you want off of the shelves and it's free! You get to bag everything up and take it home and look through everything and admire the work that went into it... Works beautifully for me.
This would also be a great free activity to do with a friend who is prone to overspending. Libraries also often have groups and talks and sometimes movie nights. ❤
Love this 😀 I rediscovered my library recently...was buying so many books new and thrifted...but a library is free! And full if lovely people too😊
thats a terrible idea. what does that even do to help? I dont get it....
It’s good it works for you. It wouldn’t work for me at all 😂 I can’t even compare the both. But everyone is different. For me, creating a wishlist works better. That makes me feel like I’ve added it to my basket and I become less obsessed.
@@VBoo459 wishlist is great. I also only have 1 credit card, and only purchase non-necessities for 2-3 days up to a week after the closing date. I choose a few things from my wishlist that I think ill really appreciate (and that survived all the reviews until then) and return immediately anything that doesn't make my life as amazing as I thought it will
That's a great idea!
What helps is getting older :). The need to live up to the standard of others, the idea of having to buy stuff to become someone else ... I kind of gave up. It's not an aspiration as much as it used to be. It's a sense of knowing who you are, and realizing that that is not fundamentally going to change, and why should it? This is who I am, just deal with it. I'm 53 (so still a young girl in my mind). I still like to do some shopping. But if it's not a thing that aligns with who I am, I'm done. Annoying shoes, organizing containers, blahdieblah. Not going to happen (well, hardly ever). Like this year, when a friend suggested going out to find a new outfit for the festive season. And I just said: I have enough clothes, and I don't really care about it enough to spend money on sparkly stuff, or clothes that are hard to maintain, or that I have to replace next year because there is something new again.
Yep. Getting older, and realizing there's no end to the losing war of validation-seeking. I don't care about what they have, why should they care about what I have? I don't have a car because I can't afford it AND save up for a house and keep contributing to my retirement. I look a little pathetic by grocery shopping with my cart, but I think it's more pathetic to live for others and be broke and miserable doing it. I'm 44, and this happened when I turned 40.
Yesss! I was wondering why noone mentions this, but there is a reason why organizing youtubers, minimalist youtubers, life style youtubers etc are all a little older and so is their audience. I think being 30+ (or for some people maybe 25+) is a big turning point in terms of self confidence, seeing the world for what it is, becoming more comfortable and in tune with your life etc. Hormones have died down a lot since puberty and makes everything much more easy living. Finding peace within yourself is key and for most that comes with age
I feel like people need to pay more attention to their personal core values and set the path from there. Happiness will not be bought.
As a reformed shopping addict - having excess stuff gives me so much anxiety now. I have a one in one out rule about everything now - I have to really love every single thing I buy because if it comes into my home I have to part with something else. I buy a sweater, I have to purge a sweater. Same with handbags, shoes, anything for the home. One in equals one out. Even the packaging gives me anxiety - I cant' stand all the boxes and bags and packaging. It's really liberating and freeing to organize and clear out excess and get a handle of our physical spaces which then allows us to get a handle on our emotional and financial spaces.
I really like this idea! I am struggling with my compulsive shopping. I am going to try this :)
I get stuck on the throwing it out part. I have anxiety when I imagine the amount of trash I generate and then I imagine other people doing the same. It gives me tremendous guilt. I like one in one out, but it's hard to stick to.
@@marciamartins1992 I completely understand. We did a complete home remodel and purged a lot of unnecessary "stuff" and it was SHOCKING how much contruction debris and waste and other items that went to the landfill. After the renovation was complete I went through all my closets and purged so much unnecessary stuff - just tossed or donated lots and lots of stuff that hurt my heart. So now I am even more conscious of unconscious consumerism....I;m trying really hard...
Interesting idea!! After moving a couple of times in the past few years I get a lot of anxiety by stuff too.
I do that to a certain extent. I don’t want to overconsumption by constantly throwing stuff out. The environment can’t handle that.
I do resell some stuff so it gets another life and I don’t really buy a lot of stuff any more. When I see something I need to LOVE it. And I mean LOVE it. The color,, the fit, everything needs to compliment me. If it doesn’t I’ll leave it, think about Iran’s forget I ever saw it in the first place.
Same with other stuff
20:11
My mother growing up actually had 2-3 “color themes” for our Christmas tree. We had the red/gold look, the blue/silver look, and then the “tacky multi look” but at most she added MAYBE? 1 new element each year. And it was always something small like updating the old bulbs to led lights, or getting some additional colored beads, purchasing a new ribbon spool. We grew up super poor but she made Christmas feel so rich for us as kids. My mother always went all out for Christmas, but we always had the same decorations each year, often times they were rotated (like on the tree), but we also had the classic Santa Christmas Countdown little statue, and we had the same homemade stockings she made for us as kids. Christmas now feels so vapid because I think we loose those traditional pieces, even handmade pieces, for throw away mass market trinkets.
I love this comment. We had the same things each year unless they broke, but that was part of the joy and excitement of it: items disappeared into the loft for over 11 months and then reappeared for about 3 weeks. So they stayed special.
Yes! The nostalgia is half the fun.
I am absolutely FLOORED that people would buy all new decorations for Christmas - or that it is an expectation now?? I have not heard of this until this very moment. What about all the collectable and personal ornaments you get over the years? Don't people want memories? Out of control consumerism right there.
That sounds lovely. Your mom had common sense and style.
Great conversation! Just wartet to mention from firsthand experience: unsubscribing from emails actually helps a great deal with an online shopping addiction. Also unfollowing any haul influencers. It’s like, if you have a problem with alcohol, don’t have bottles of it at home. Same with emails and influencers regarding a shopping addiction.
Yes, this. Also removing saved payments and autofill card info. It helps add friction and honestly keeps your info safe haha
I’ve heard this works but am having a hard time unsubscribing.
@@msbell221982unsubscribe from just one and see how you feel. If you don’t notice (you won’t), do another in a few weeks. Not mass unsubscribing will let you ease off the impulse and not quit cold turkey.
@@msbell221982it can be hard but don’t think to much about it. We are bombarded with so much daily, that our brain can’t handle so much information. Just unsubscribe 1 email at the time!
Yes thank you ibe just deleted a load of subscriptions on email.and stopped following some people on insta etc...hard but that's where the problem starts with me.
Really good talk. Maybe you can dedicate an episode to the parenting consuming culture (especially with newborn babies) and the gap between need and want, which can be ridiculous
Oh this is a great idea!
This would also be a great topic for new grandparents!! I rarely buy clothes or fun things for myself, but for my 2 year old granddaughter, my money flies out the window!
I like this idea of the "urge jar" and started one, with a modification: I'm making paper stars for each thing, and writing the thing itself on the inside of the paper, and the amount of money on the outside of the star. That way, I can look at the amounts without re-discovering the urge item. (Sometimes - not always, but often enough - looking at my "did not buy" list just reminds me about that thing...and then I get re-excited about it. Out of sight, out of mind!)
I drink a 1 part grapefruit juice, 4 part sparkling water beverage out of a gold rimmed martini glass at home every day #treatyourself
No online shopping after dark. That has saved me so many times.
Wondering if shopping addiction isn’t taken seriously as an addiction by the medical community is because it’s mostly women that are afflicted with it
Eh, I think it's actually because there's been a concern about broadly labeling behaviors as addictive, so you'll see similar rejection of the idea of video game addictions, p*rn addictions, etc. This is a place where I think it'd be great if TFD had someone with expertise on behavioral addiction on-- Josh Grubbs would be a great potential guest.
I was more thinking that in a capitalist society, shopping addiction is not a problem. You not having enough money is the problem.
Just like homelessness isn't treated as a societal problem, but as people not working hard enough to afford rent.
If medications can fix it, it's a 'real disease'. If money can fix it, it's a 'you problem'.
I agree it’s because it’s mostly women
@@elan825yes
Thank you for having these healthy conversations. We need them so much now. Society is sick and we need to talk about that.
I started listening to this conversation as I was simultaneously impulse shopping in another browser and looking for a 2nd job in a 3rd browser to support my general over spending. This was such a meaningful discussion as I am heavily influenced by advertising and the "must have" instagram culture. I have been debt free and back in debt many times and will take steps towards getting off the hamster wheel in 2024.
I get over my urge to splurge when I buy groceries, my utility bills and rent😆
For the decor change its the mommy vloggers and other influencers who feel their viewers will lose interest if they don't buy new seasonal decor every year.
It's insane!! These women have garages and warehouses full of multiple themes!!! They change out their entire theme EVERY year it's insane!!!
I love the focus on the mental health component and meeting people with curiosity/concern for their overall well-being. If the reasons for overspending were shallow, it would be easy to stop.
Love this conversation, but I thought it brushed past the very good advice about proof before purchase. Chelsea might not relate because she has a successful business/clear purpose, but for those of us still searching for identity and direction, it's soooo tempting to try to buy your way into a new life. But you just end up the same except broke.
Yep
This was my favourite part too, including the practical advice around doing the habit/activity for 30 days before purchasing anything to support said activity. Very insightful to link overspending on certain things to how we desire to see ourselves (without actually making any changes in your life).
Very good advice indeed!
To further add to your point, I wish these conversations also recognized those of us who are alone-and I don’t just mean single. My entire family is gone. My husband died. I have no kids. I don’t even have a pet. But so often there’s this emphasis nowadays on “experiences versus stuff”. But I don’t want, or like experiences, because inevitably it means doing the thing alone and I don’t derive much pleasure from that. So things, unfortunately, still manage to assuage my feelings of loss and grief. The discussions around consumerism and over buying really should include some understanding of our country’s loneliness epidemic, and its impact on our over consumption problem.
“Theres no end” topic
This reminds me of an old co-worker i worked with that spent like $300 for a “high end” metal “perfectly weighted” fidget spinner that he would always show off to us. And then the product blew up months later and companies found ways to make it cheaper for like $1-5 and i just found it so sad that my co-worker kept justifying his $300 purchase.
And then when i was in film school in 2015, i had a professor told us how when she was in film school in the 2000s, she spent like thousands of dollars for a hard drive that holds like 2 GB, and now its so cheap to buy a thumb drive 2 GB for so cheap. Its wild
Marketing is about creating dissatisfaction within us. If you buy x, y and z then you will be happy. Golden handcuffs!
I consider myself very lucky. I always got a lot of pleasure from little things in life. Big treat of mine is a nice coffee, usually a pour over made at home..... the treat part being the sit down and savouring it.
Right. For me lately I've been maintaining the clothes I already have and making sure they hang neatly on hangers and folded like I see in stores. Lint rolling, fabreeze, etc. It made a difference with how I value what I already own versus chasing the next thing.
The "Money I would have spent but didn't" account is exactly what we're about to do with all the money we had been spending on takeout -- any time we decide not to do takeout and cook instead, that money gets set aside!
I love this but I have a technical question. Do you actually have an account? Like one in a bank? I wish my bank had additional sub accounts I can transfer money into.
Or do you physically save that money? Like the money in envelope type of system.
How do you plan to do it?
@@InnerGiggles I'm a spreadsheet person. If I tended to be a paycheck to paycheck sort I would do it in cash though, or a separate checking account
Cooking and groceries are almost as expensive now.
@@ccdm515 Packaged things are, but produce hasn't gone up much. Meat has gone up a little, but not a ton. Things that come in packaging are more expensive. I didn't realize that's what it was until my hairdresser said it to me, but that's the reason my grocery spending hasn't increased a whole lot lately but my parents' has. They get a lot more packaged products (even just stuff like yogurt or sliced bread). If you're willing to lean more into vegetables, you can make a perfectly good and not particularly expensive meal with rice/pasta and different types of produce. It makes a filling side even if you don't use it as your main dish.
@@ccdm515 Where we live, delivery costs 50-120 whereas we can cook for 5-20. I'm blessed with a better half who is an excellent cook
My "I want to buy" list is called "materialist".
I am both proud and ashamed of that
A topic I'd love to see you explore is: From a psychological perspective - Why are you purchasing that item that has a logo that everyone can see? Would you still purchase the item if there was no logo to be seen?
I always felt I should be compensated for wearing a logo--not paying more for the privilege!
Whenever I imagine being a millionaire and what I would do with that money, I always imagine, besides buying nice home (but not huge), that I will have less and give more. I never think about all the “things” I would buy which I find fascinating. It makes me wonder if not having a lot of money creates the need to buy things to feel secure. In fact when I think about being rich I actually envision more of a minimalist lifestyle. So strange.
I really appreciated the part at the end where paying off debt is exciting briefly, but normal life just resumes. I tend to struggle when that happens
It can help to make it a game: the "use it up challenge" for your weak spots (lotion, soap, candles, whatever). Playing Iron Chef at home to use leftovers to make new meals. Giving yourself a star for every $[insert amount] of debt paid off. For people who need the emotional boost, intense exercise can help - HIIT, lifting heavy weights, challenging yoga poses, running, sprints, etc.
Start a savings challenge? Build up an emergency fund?
I was 36, now I have a years worth of salary saved before I turned 40.
Before that, never had a penny and only debt. It’s never too late
Went to a Canadian university and an American professor 👩🏫 mentioned how she could tell students financial situations more in that states based on their teeth 🦷 but not really in Canada 16:55
Most homes really do re-use christmas decorations. I can't fathom doing an entirely new tree and ornaments every year unless you are moving into a brand new home. 😭 That's some crazyness! And as someone who will live in a microapartment most likely once i move out of my family home, I'm getting a projector and putting a video of a tree on the walls! 😂 And a yule log video on the other wall!
I find that videos on minimalism help me stay in check.
I opted out the minute it was so unrealistic I was so miserable shopping. I quit all of my addiction at once.
I think also internalizing saving up for experiences over stuff is helpful too. Or buying something nice for yourself on your birthday and that's it.
Wow, I never realized that shopping addiction is real - I'm convinced now. It's a consuming habit.
I’m manifesting - current MBA student, I’ve been a fan of Chelsea’s for many years. I have to be on this pod to truly feel like I’ve made it in personal finance/consumer behavior❤ Thanks for such high quality content, geared towards strong women!
“Give yourself the proof before you make the purchase” LOVE THAT!
I absolutely love this anti-consumerist content - please keep it coming! 💕
Just watch HOARDERS a few times. Does it every time for me.😮
Well since at the end Dave Ramsey was mentioned; I have to say I’ve been loyal to his show for years. He is straight forward, and there’s absolutely no sugar coating with very assertive financial explanations. If anyone rebounds it’s due to that embedded not good for you behavior.
I should most likely speak with a therapist but I'm already here 🙂 I would enjoy seeing an episode about enjoying spending money. I bought red beads from FB market place to put on my Christmas tree and I have remorse, like with nearly every other purchase I make. I could afford them, they look very cute, they're second hand so I kept them out of a landfill. Still not happy I spent money I have on something I wanted.
I struggle with this guilt, too. It's debilitating. Having grown up poor, I obsess over every purchase I make, whether it's clothing or gifts or even everyday items I purchase in bulk from the pharmacy, I research a lot then add things to my cart then agonise over the decision of what to delete, what to keep. Then, when the items arrive, if it's not exactly what I had envisaged (ie, quality, fit), I am disappointed and always feel guilty for spending the money. Its like it has to be absolutely perfect for me to feel like it was worth the money, or that the spend was justified.
It is so hard to escape a scarcity mindset when you grew up that way. I made a large clothing purchase in November last year and felt terrible buyer's remorse afterwards, and it is only this week that I realised how glad I am that I bought those lovely new items to update my wardrobe so I have nice things to wear that make me feel good and confident. It was a revelation to feel happy about a big spend for once, instead of just guilt and regret.
I also dont enjoy spending money. Not sure if this will work for you but it helped me, i set aside a set amount of fun money each month, that is only for stuff like that. Whenever i think i might want to buy something, i literally have to pull out my budgeting app, look at that money, and be like ‘that is what this is there for, not for anything else, i should spend this if i want, its part of my budget’. Almost using a budget as permission to spend rather than to limit spending.
@smithaf0601 I like that idea, thank you 😊
Really good interview and great tips! It’s so sad to hear about how miserable young adults in the US are after graduation with thousands in debt! Speaking as a European with a mostly free higher education
Second day into the New Year and I'm glad to no longer have that crave to spend my money on stuff I don't need. Admittedly, I made one last online order last day of 2023, but it was a belated Xmas gift for my boyfriend. Needless to say, I want to try make 2024 my no spend year, but I'm taking baby steps. First month goal is to save my money. Love your channel. So much inspiration to help me on my no spend journey. Wish me luck!
That was so spot-on, that now perceived affluence extends to how symmetrical my face is, what beauty treatments and enhancements I seem to "not have had" done. This is totally what aesthetic places bank on, that I will be a lifelong customer, trying treatments regularly. Which is fine if I can truly afford it, and very guilt-filled if I truly cannot.
Please, do an episode with Leena Norms!
YES TO THIS!!
That would be such a great cross-over!!
yesssss
That would be a great chat, esp on being child free by choice.
I cant tell you how life changing getting a library card has been for me. Its not just about books! Of course for me, books have been a huge oart of my spending. And not just novels. I took up ceramics and bought ALL THE BOOKS but i can check out books. And most are available as ebooks. Cooking books too tend to be very aspirational. People think this one cookbook will make them cook. Check it out at the libary first and if you find yiurself cooking from it, buy it. You can also check out magazines and other publications you normally meed subscriptions for and all you need is a phone. Even with that, i started reading novels as ebooks. It took me years. Now I am reading more so I am going to invest in a Kobe e-reader which I can link to my library account.
See for me, books are a comfort. Having books around makes me happy and I STRONGLY prefer a physical book over e-readers, so even though it isn't practical, buying physical books to have around makes me feel so happy and warm and so it feels worth it. But I have to be more responsible with how much I spend on books because even using thriftbooks, it gets out of hand very quickly 😂😂
@@magnumdorkus4222 i felt that way for years too. Reading digital books didn't 'feel' right. But I travel a LOT for work and I was always carrying around four or five books. It became heavy for me. I can carry it all in my library account now. And if I have time at home I can check out physical books.
Great chat! I went through phases of obsessive saving (off my parents' backs, living at home, I did save a deposit for a house and I'm single, so not diminishing that achievement) but then I relaxed a bit, a bit too much. The plan was to try and fix up the house a bit! For that, I need to up my saving targets again. Off to pilates now and I have not succumbed to sweaty betty, lulu lemon pressure. I'm wearing tracksuit bottoms i got from amazon years and they were 8 euro. And they are absolutely fine. I'm 53 and the relationship with money never ends. I'm also conscious of retirement now.
and the question is, what are we, as adults and parents doing to avoid raising individuals that continue with these patterns? Because I see it all the time , where parents spend OBSCENE amounts of $$ for Christmas on their kids, OR they have to move to a Bigger house because EVERY child needs their own room and bathroom. AS IF, they didn't have to go share a room when they get to college. We like to blame Marketers & Retailers, but truth be told, IF I had a business of Christmas ornaments and I saw people buying those things in September, then next year I would put them out in August----after all, as a business it is MY job to make $$. So, we need to do some serious introspection & accept our responsibility in this whole Consumerism Mindset.
Caring is a verb that requires energy and time. Sometimes people don't have that. We shouldn't put that on people. We should have appropriate expectations of people. And not be offended or feel rejected when they don't meet them. It's not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on the direction of THEIR life, which has nothing to do with you.
19:55 let’s talk about the multiple HOME Christmas 🎄 trees with their separate themes / colour stories
I never thought about how overspending and over consumption could be wrapped around one's identity. I feel so bad for the generation who has been raised on social media, and how pressured they are to always look & present their life as perfect. It sheds light on why consumer spending and debt are at an all-time high. Sadly, this behavior will have lifetime consequences!
Love this episode. An idea for an episode, pageantry and the expenses that come from it. I know beauty pageants are practically irrelevant in US pop culture. They're still mainstream in other countries. But there's still a small pageant community in the US. I just got out of it. It's very much pay to play. If you want to win (which btw doesn't come with a big ROI) you have to buy the best clothes, shoes, hmua, coaches, nails, spary tan, hair extensions, hair care, cosmetic procedures, etc. Many women go in debt to keep up. It's so scummy how the organizers frame it around "female empowerment" but they're just cashing in on the hopes and dreams of other women.
My financial journey also started with Dave Ramsey, I was super excited about the debt free journey and even wanted to go over and do the debt free scream. But I also agree with Page about all the guilt that is engrain in you, that shouldn't see the inside of a restaurant unless you work on it and no more lattes. Also you can't take a vacation or have a good time because you are in debt. When I was finally debt free, it did not felt as good. I just felt empty and without a purpose. I was even thinking of getting into debt to have something to look for.. hahaha.. Great video! I really loved it! :D
What? I just got debt free like 2 years ago and the next steps is saving up/investing. Make yourself a goal and save towards that. But do treat yourself, too. You can't be deprived forever.
Great chat thank you. There's a really good UK TV series on this addiction called 'Spendaholics'. I've watched it several times now each time I get something new from it. One thing all the people on the show have in common is they are unhappy in some way, with themselves/ their life circumstances job etc.
Omg love Paige’s content! This is a collab I was hoping for 🎉
Such an enlightening and helpful conversation. Thank you ladies!
Hey Chelsea! I’ve followed your TFD content for some time and want to say, I appreciate who you are and what you stand for. The way you carry yourself in life and in business is something I strive to emulate. You seem to value your team (with $$ not just words), you make choices based on your values while considering the impact on others. Thank you for being someone I look up to. Wishing you and your team a happy holiday season. 🎄🎅🏼 ⛸️🥰
Love the urge jar! I’m implementing this! In dealing with my makeup addiction I have a small bag of unopened products when I get the urge I revisit that bag. That immediately discourages me. I essentially already have “new” products.
This was a good one, your guest had some great tips. Thank you!
Thanks so much for this!!!! I wish I had had this years ago. Recently I went through the Kon Mari process with all my possessions and that was a great reset in that a) I could actually see what I had and b) having narrowed that down to what was meaningful to me, I wanted to protect my space from getting gunked up again.
I'm so glad that Chelsea brought up the fact that this is first and foremost a social problem
Thank you so much for this video. It really hit home for me, especially the aspirations part
I love how raw this conversation is
Great conversation! So much fantastic advice
I love this so much!! What a great guest, I’ll definitely be joining her too
Great and thorough convo Chelsea and Page!
Thank you for “proof before purchase” - useful in a conversation with my aspirational self!
This is spot on with the runners example. I got into rare plants recently but I’ve been growing and selling cuttings from cheap plants for a few years before I leaped into buying and propagating 600$ plants.
What a great conversation. This is definitely a conversation I would love to hear more platforms having. I started my money journey in 2014 and I have done well along the way, but I still fall into over buying at times and have to bring myself back into alignment with my money. So I love to listen to these conversations. I gave up drinking 4 months ago and I am learning to make mocktails for the holidays and having fun with it. 🙌🎅🏼
thanks for the encouragement in the area of spending. I saw a segment on good morning America recently where that had holiday decorations...three small Christmas trees for the mantle $99...then of course an artificial Christmas tree for over $700, which was promoted as an "investment" that you would use for years to come. I truly feel sorry for families struggling financially. we are just bombarded with too much which encourages us to spend spend spend!!!
Really good point - getting to the point where you are takes time. It isnt going to happen quickly.
Wow I definitely identified with a lot of what Paige said. Aspirational spending is what gets me most of the time
Your candor is such a blessing
Can you please also talk about women feeling pressured to look a certain way when dating? and the cost of that?
This is amazing thank you for making these types of videos, thank you for your Art ( Content ) ✨
Awesome discussion!
New subscriber, so happy I found you!
FANTASTIC video!!❤
Watching this and remembering my brother using his huge salary to buy designer junk since he only pays our mom a grand a month. This reminds me I need to sit him down and tell him to cover the rent increase for next year.
Loved this episode
Whewww I needed this
Very interesting conversation. ❤
I personally use the 'give yourself a pause' that you were taking about during the segment at 44:51, can even work if your in a physical shopping space too. It's still hard but hear me out.
If I'm somewhere like a charity shop (thrift store) that might have some really cool things I feel like I need and if I don't get it now I might never get it again, I just pick everything up that I think I want, browse around the store and then as I'm about to go to the checkout I stop. At this point I look at the pile of stuff I have that I haven't actually thought about again since I picked it up and actually consider when/if I will use it.
Most of the time I end up putting 98% of it back and try to appreciate how much I love it and that someone else will appreciate it just as much if not even more than I will. Sometimes I take a photo of it so I can look at it again to appreciate it, maybe put it on a wishlist so when I come back to the photo months later and I still want it I might be able to find it online.
This obviously takes a lot of self control but as you progress along your journey with spending it does become easier.
This was great. Sending my wants on a Pinterest list has helped me tremendously as you suggested.
one of my favorite conversations!
the whole buying-an-identity thing hits SO HARD.
Excellent video ❤❤
Omg the aspirational spending, she’s speaking right to me! I’m trying to workout more and be more consistent with yoga. And it justified me spending on all these lululemon workout sets but I already have workout sets 😭
I loved every minute of this episode.
Two of my favorite creators in one video ❤
I’m excited about this upcoming confession about class signifiers of beauty
Chelsea, when are you uploading this to Spotify 🙏? I normally play your content meanwhile I do a lot of things, I would love to have it in audio format instead of video, don't get me wrong, I love you and Donna, but momma's gotta work (and vacuum, and laundry, and dishes, you get te point!)😂
A very loyal subscriber