hi Ben. i'm 22 and also adopted from South Korea, and am having my own sort of mental/emotional journey. recently there's been a huge investigation in the news where my adoption agency is even being investigated for fraudulent adoptions, and just.. there's a lot of heartache to be said about Korean adoptees. i'm sorry to hear that your moments with your biological family members were under such stressful circumstances. sending love and peace
Just know that parents who give up their babies for adoption do so often because they want better for their baby than they can provide. They wanted you to have a chance. They didn’t believe they could provide adequate parenting. There is enormous heartbreak all around. It’s very sad for everyone involved.
@@maddy131 While I appreciate the sentiment, what you are saying is the oldest and most tired trope force fed to adoptees. If you really think about it, that old "they just wanted you to have a better life" thing is thought about, communicated, and perpetuated for the psychological safety of everyone BUT THE ADOPTEE. Trust me on this, please stop saying this, it is extremely hurtful and damaging to the adoptee. Is it best for the adoptee to literally be cut off from: every last person who shares our bloodline (family), our heritage, our lineage, our racial community, our culture, and our language?? Saying these tropes to make everyone feel better is Hallmark and another form of gaslighting and toxic separation. We don't need anymore, we have quite enough, thank you! 😬
Tracking down your biological family in itself is a very brave feat. Perhaps you were looking for answers to questions that weren't found through this experience. But know that it does not matter and the past decisions of your biological parents that apparently were unfortunate to resort to them, doesn't in any way have relevance to who you are as a person. I applaud your endeavor and hope you can finally close this past chapter of your life. 🙏
Thanks for sharing your story Ben. It's unfortunate that you finally met your biological father under such circumstances. There's a lot that we can take from your experiences. I've been following you since your adoption videos and really enjoy your food content. Thank you for your willingness to open up and share this story with us ❤❤
Vulnerability is never a weakness and you are clearly a gentle soul. You deserve everything good in your life. Thank you for being a conduit of peace, as well. Love ya bro.
I'm a Korean adoptee, and your story was heartbreaking to listen to. It is just one of the many iterations of possible meetings we all dream our whole lives of having with our "real family..." I'm sorry it ended this way for you. I'm sorry it was so emotionally charged and quick. It sounded traumatic in nature. It reminded me that my fantasies of reunion with my biological parents (which I have confirmed will never take place due to circumstance) also include highly distressing and negative possibilities. While that is neither here nor there, it elongates this dream and further pushes it into the abstract and ambiguous, if not downright horrific. Thank you for bravely sharing your story of reunion--which was ultimately LOSS. I'm sorry that it began and ended that way for you...strength to you, as you navigate these memories and emotional landscapes. It makes total sense that all of "that" needed to express somewhere, so give yourself some grace regarding the panic attacks and anxiety. Adoptee=having anxiety. Be well, take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. 💗
This was so poignant and beautifully written. I wish you all the best and hope that you have been able to find a semblance of healing, no matter how messy it may look at times. Side note: I’m not sure if you’ve ever thought about freelance writing, but as a writer myself, I would encourage you to consider this if you haven’t before and it’s something that interests you. ♥️
oh snap, i remember watching years ago when you had like 50k subs and you talked about your adoption and how you were fortunate to have a family adopt you and living in the rust belt around chicago. I have not watched the whole video but i am watching as i write, i am excited to see how you approach this very delicate situation in life. im going to tune in now, thank you ben for sharing this with us.
I actually enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of guts for a man to travel halfway across the world to meet his biological Dad, Start a new life, Lose his Dad the first time meeting, and keep moving on with life. Makes you wonder what the meaning of life really is anyway. Why do we endure certain things, and what is the goal if happiness is never met? is it to be a good person? Partner? Father? Because when those things aren't satisfied... are we just waiting to die? If they are satisfied, are we still just waiting to die? Will we be remembered? Do we even want to be? Life's quite a trip man.
Appreciate the transparency, I know due to obvious reasons this channel tends to shy away from the personal stuff. More power to you Ben on your life journey, we're here for it
Been watching you since highschool and now I'm in my PhD. I will always be proud of how you are able to share these incidents about your life with us. Food aside, you are an amazing person.
I cried when you said you spoke to him. Even though he wasnt concious im sure his soul was glad that you came. We are all energetically connected to our family thats why we yearn to learn more about them . I been subscribed to your channel since 2014 I think. You always come across as a purehearted person. You also remind me of my brother .
I’ve been watching your videos for about 10 years now and always appreciate hearing stories about your life. Thank you for being vulnerable and reminding us to prioritize spending time with our loved ones while we still have the chance. Keep keeping it real Ben 🤙🏼
Even though this video was a ramble, you are a fantastic storyteller. Not only that, but as im sure you know, you have a very calm, relaxing and thought provoking presense and way of speaking that makes videos such as these cathartic and healing. Ive watched a ton of your videos and its these and those moments when you reflect/share on personal matters during your normal eating videos that are my favorites.
Seeing this side of Ben is something I’d never expect to see on this channel. I really respect him for being brave enough to show this vulnerable side of him. Thank you for sharing your story Ben.
truly sorry you had to experience your biological dads death like that. we appreciate you telling this story and being vulnerable with us. wish you all the best, Ben. 💚
Insane that you got this vulnerable for the world to see. You’re a real human and it would have taken real guts to do this and say this on camera. Crazy amounts of respect for you, Ben. Wish for nothing but the best for you
You commented 2 minutes ago, video dropped 5 minutes ago. Now I know this video got released for members early, but you arent a member. So how exactly do you know that he got "vulnerable for the world to see"
You sharing this story online just shows how much you care about your fanbase Ben. I have been watching you for 6+ years now and your content really helped me through tough times. Love your content and hope for many great years of mukbangs to come ❤
Thank you for sharing your story Ben. Actually, your original adoption videos from years ago is how I stumbled upon your channel in the first place. Tracking down your biological family is very brave. I hope this chapter of your journey may close on a positive note. You're doing mighty fine! Take care.
Hey Ben, thanks for sharing. I remember those videos of you talking about your adoption story years ago. It's a pretty big leap of faith in being vulnerable and putting your story out there which I already see many of the comments resonating with it. I wasn't adopted but I do suffer from anxiety and panic attacks like you talked about and yeah, it does heighten following a traumatic or deeply emotional event. But I think you talking about it will help a lot in coming to terms with any hidden feelings or buried emotions about that event so I'm glad you did.
You're a kind and strong person, not a lot of people would want to be part of a situation like that, you're biological brother needed you and you were there for him, that must've meant a lot for him❤
I've followed you forever and I have my own very personal ties with Korea and Koreans. Thank you for this very honest post. I love how you told the story and was touched to hear you saying your name in Korean. I was also aware of you almost constantly touching your wedding ring which is a lovely testament how your love with your wife comforts and strengthens you ❤
You have my condolences Ben, I admire you were able to speak about this situation and be comfortable with it. Don't hold back on sharing stories with us, some will appreciate them and others won't but if it makes you feel good or better that's all that matters!
I suffer from anxiety and sometimes panic attacks too bro. I totally feel you. It would be nice if you wanna talk more about that. Glad you opened up to us about this.
You watch a guy wolf down pizza for years -- it's been nice to get a better sense of who he is and where he's coming from. Not just this video but this past year. Outstanding stuff. Really hits home.
Thank you for sharing, it's not just the Korean culture that deals with death and funerals in such a rushed way. Moving back home from the west I've experienced something similar to this, it was so rushed and you're not even allowed to cry, and random strangers come to eat food, and I'm like I can't even think straight let alone dine at someone's funeral, they're just too emotionally rigid and tough, I don't know how else to describe it.
Hey Ben, just wanted to say that as a Korean-American adoptee myself I really appreciate you sharing this story and being as transparent as you were about all the feelings you were feeling. I haven’t ever gotten to meet my biological parents due to a number of circumstances that are out of my control and haven’t ever really been at peace about it tbh but hearing stories like this from people who have experienced similar things as I have goes a long way and means a lot as growing up as a kid, teen, and even in my adulthood it always felt like nobody in the world could relate to what or how I was feeling. Sending lots of love my man 🙏🏽
Totally understand that feeling of alienation you described...this is what we go through, unfortunately, and the isolation of that feeling of being so separate and "not normal" can really dismantle our wellbeing and sense of self. Well said.
@@beth-z4e yep, have had self-esteem issues most my life as a result of some of those things but have grown to be much more comfortable with who I am and what I’ve been through over the last couple years. Wishing you peace on your own journey, my friend!
Thanks for sharing something so personal with us. Losing someone biological or not, someone that you have some sort of connection to, is never easy. I can't even fathom what you were feeling in that moment, my heart was wrenching as I got through the video. I wish you success with however you try to deal with this situation. Thanks again for sharing your story and RIP.
Been a fan of the chill laid back content through the years, but this was always one of those through lines kinda that I was wondering if we'd ever hear I about. I even remember those videos from a couple of years ago where you mentioned something happening and I was like, I wonder if it was related. Anyway, thanks for sharing, I do hope it helped in someway with the closure process.
I just finished watching. Thank you for sharing Ben. There’s a lot of confusing emotions that you go through with these kinds of situations. You don’t know how to feel but there’s this tightness in your chest. I’m glad you got a little bit of closure.
That was the first video of yours that I watched; the one about your adoption story. I thought that you had already resolved the situation and reached some closure, since you no longer discussed it in detail. I never imagined that you went through such a heartbreak. I'm so sorry.
Jeez Ben, I know it all feels surreal especially in your situation with your bio mother/father. I've been to a couple of funerals myself and they all feel surreal but yours hits a lot different. Thx for sharing my dood and good to see you doing well enough even after these couple years.
Ben, I had a similar experience when my mother passed. We had been estranged for awhile when she got Covid and passed really fast. There was no time to talk or come to terms with the stuff that kept us apart. I’ve only cried like that once before in my life. I totally get how you felt. I wish you the happiest of times with your new wife and when your own little one arrives. Good times ahead! I love your channel! Keep those posts. coming.
Yeah dude, the panic attacks are what got me too. Was going pretty hard on the sauce, and it felt normal for years. Then the panic attacks started when stress around me got insane. Had to cut it all out entirely to get rid of the anxiety. You've got this.
Thanks for sharing your journey Ben. I've been hospitalized in SK, the nurses and techs are way superior to anything we have here in the US and I live in Mn where we have some of the best hospitals in the States. I'm sorry that your biological family never took accountability for always counting you out of their lives until they need you for something. I think your panic attacks could be due to the unresolved feelings of abandonment from your biological family. It's really common in Asian families and you are not alone, Asian parents and nuclear families seem to be willing to estrange a member to serve their own self interests. It feels like neglect and mental/emotional abuse, I can relate.
Sorry to hear about your dad and having to meet him in the most unfortunate circumstances. The whole death and funeral structure in Korea is intense compared to the US. You barely have time to mourn right after his passing. I can’t fathom what you were going through. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing such a personal story with us. I always wondered what happened with your search for your biological parents. I hope you have some peace and closure. Stay strong Ben. ❤
I'm sorry to hear this Ben. I am 24, and found out at 23 that the man that raised me my whole life was not my biological father. Although not the same, I can feel that same sense of betrayal and heartbreak that can come with it. Love those that have loved you and you will be okay. Much love, Ben.
u a real one dawg. nobody asked to be born, yet here we are. growing up i had a very solid family, a dream of a life. yet the more i went on the more i realized just how much my parents went through, it was crazy to me to end up seeing them as people when for most my life i just saw them as these pillars of undeniable purpose and place. like, they were my parents. but underneath it all they were in the same exact position i was in and was struggling too. family is weird like tht. pretty wild to think abt
I think that talking about this is part of your healing process. I'm a little younger than you, but I've experienced the death of close family members a few times, and I can never forget the moment I saw my grandmother pass away in the hospital, even after 10 years. What I felt was that talking about these moments with close family members and others can help overcome the trauma. I also deeply empathize with the Korean funeral culture. I believe it needs to change. It feels like the process doesn't give enough time for the people left behind to prepare themselves emotionally and properly honor the deceased. Instead, it's all about quickly going through the procedures. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope you find some peace, even if it's just a little, from now on.
Thank you for taking the time to share your story with all of us Ben. Please don’t ever apologize for anything. Being real is a rarity these days in social media and you’re very refreshing. I had no idea what you had been through as a newer viewer. So much respect to you. I hope that you continue to open up your feelings to us. You’re so superior with being a conversationalist and have created a beautiful caring community that supports you through everything.
Hey Ben. I’ve never commented on your channel until now. I am truly deeply sorry for your loss of your biological father. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your story of your loss of a parent and the vulnerability of the depth of one’s grief. My dad also shared similarities like you being born in SK then adopted and moved to the US. So your story became very personal for me and moved me to understand you and what you went through. My most deepest and humbled condolences to you and your family. Sending from Seattle.
I have never met any of my biological family. I am curious, but my adopted family loves me, and I really didn't want to go there. I thank you because your story makes me feel better about my decision not trying to be cruel, but you have put yourself through the ringer. I pray you're able to get closure because your story is heartbreaking to me.
We all appreciate you sharing this experience with us Ben, and there’s nothing wrong with sharing personal stories like this. It’s always a good idea to share what’s on your mind and get things off of your chest as a reliever. So that’s one positive thing I could see that came from this video. Also I believe just remembering this experience will help you in the future for when you do have kids to be a better parent for your children than what your biological parents were to you and not make the same mistakes that they may have done to you. Stay safe and continue doing what you do best Ben.
I really appreciate the candor, and sharing these painful parts of your life with us. I'm a couple of years younger than you, but as I get older death becomes more and more present in my life. It's hard to talk about, but It's cathartic.
You are incredibly emotionally mature, Ben. Thank you for being so courageous as to share your really difficult emotional journey. I think what you have gone through would give anyone panic attacks...have you considered therapy? Getting an unbiased perspective may help with your healing process. Wishing you all the best with your new wife and family to be, you deserve all the happiness ❤
I'm more than halfway through listening/watching. I've never been more attentive watching a youtube video. I feel a comfort and sincerity listening to this like nothing else.
I like these story videos. The food has always been secondary to me. I'm not one of those freaks who like to listen to people chew, or get off on watching people eat. This channel has always been about the commentary, and even the weird humor.
I really appreciate you sharing your story. I can relate, cuz I have my own late-father story, but I'm not going to distract from yours. You deserve to be heard. You are heard. Much love ❤
Ben, I have been a subscriber for a very long time and I remember your adoption story. Since I only know you through RUclips, I was surprised at the emotions that I personally experienced while listening to your story. This truly took me by surprise. Saying that, I can only imagine some of the emotions that you may have experienced two years ago and even now. I am happy that you have supportive parents and a lovely wife to be with you then and now.
Ben, you don't ever need a reason to come on here and share anything.... many of us have been watching you for long... and I have my dinner and lunch with you on many occasions... WE are sending you SO much love Ben the same kind of love you send us by sharing a meal with us... SENDING YOU SO MUCH LOVE BEN.... WE LOVE YOU... in the most natural and non-weird way
I am so thankful you shared this. What took you 2 years to recover from for this video to happen would take others a lot longer to process, if not a lifetime, including myself. There's so many layers to connecting with your biological brother. Although I believe it doesn't hurt to have more family, totally respect that both of you find it hard to connect/reach out to each other. The awkwardness is real lol
that was tough bro. i understand what youre going through. family is a messed up situation. my family is also pretty distant. people get caught up with their own lives that they ignore yours
👍💝🤗💝I appreciate you honoring your story. This is all part of the healing process. This is how you started this channel. I’m one of the day one era subscribers and love that you shared your adoption story. You’re human. Your stories are important and help other people. I hope you re-post your original adoption story videos. We support you. Thank you for sharing with us. 🙏💝
First of all condolences 💐 and thank you for sharing your chapter of life. Definitely not an easy thing to go through, been in a similar situation and the death of a relative had a little impact on my mental state and this too was during covid times a couple of years ago. I didn’t know you were adopted and I found myself relating to your videos and this story as I too am adopted. Peace ✌️
Thank you for sharing more of who you are as a person with this story. I’ve been following for a long time and always prayed for good things for you. I hope you have got some relief about it by talking your thoughts out but I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet your biological parents in a better situation. Please continue to use us as a sounding board if it helps at all! Peace and love! 💜
Thanks for sharing man, been following u since day 1. Appreciate it all man, super brave to talk about this so publicly. Also congrats on the marriage man!
hi Ben. i'm 22 and also adopted from South Korea, and am having my own sort of mental/emotional journey. recently there's been a huge investigation in the news where my adoption agency is even being investigated for fraudulent adoptions, and just.. there's a lot of heartache to be said about Korean adoptees. i'm sorry to hear that your moments with your biological family members were under such stressful circumstances. sending love and peace
That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw this video pop up
Well said, we adoptees have had to endure an incredible amount of personal heartbreak. This type of heartbreak is too rarely understood. 😢
Just know that parents who give up their babies for adoption do so often because they want better for their baby than they can provide. They wanted you to have a chance. They didn’t believe they could provide adequate parenting. There is enormous heartbreak all around. It’s very sad for everyone involved.
@@maddy131 While I appreciate the sentiment, what you are saying is the oldest and most tired trope force fed to adoptees. If you really think about it, that old "they just wanted you to have a better life" thing is thought about, communicated, and perpetuated for the psychological safety of everyone BUT THE ADOPTEE. Trust me on this, please stop saying this, it is extremely hurtful and damaging to the adoptee. Is it best for the adoptee to literally be cut off from: every last person who shares our bloodline (family), our heritage, our lineage, our racial community, our culture, and our language?? Saying these tropes to make everyone feel better is Hallmark and another form of gaslighting and toxic separation. We don't need anymore, we have quite enough, thank you! 😬
@@beth-z4e yup the old "its not you, it's me"
Tracking down your biological family in itself is a very brave feat. Perhaps you were looking for answers to questions that weren't found through this experience. But know that it does not matter and the past decisions of your biological parents that apparently were unfortunate to resort to them, doesn't in any way have relevance to who you are as a person. I applaud your endeavor and hope you can finally close this past chapter of your life. 🙏
yes it does have relevance thats a fukn bs view you have when you cant even relate.
Thanks for sharing your story Ben. It's unfortunate that you finally met your biological father under such circumstances. There's a lot that we can take from your experiences. I've been following you since your adoption videos and really enjoy your food content. Thank you for your willingness to open up and share this story with us ❤❤
bro you didnt even watch the video?😭
How tf did u comment before the video dropped gang💀
Bro typing without even hearing the story first😭😭 god damn
@@iidxnero8024I think the video was made private for a bit and reposted cuz his comment is 13 hours old
Comment got me puzzled.🤔
Never apologize for your feelings, thank you for sharing such a difficult time in your life.
wow. no apologies necessary. Thank you for sharing a part of your life.
Vulnerability is never a weakness and you are clearly a gentle soul. You deserve everything good in your life. Thank you for being a conduit of peace, as well. Love ya bro.
My dad was adopted and I've been through a weird few years with 23 and Me, getting to know my biological family and the history around it all.
I'm a Korean adoptee, and your story was heartbreaking to listen to. It is just one of the many iterations of possible meetings we all dream our whole lives of having with our "real family..."
I'm sorry it ended this way for you. I'm sorry it was so emotionally charged and quick. It sounded traumatic in nature. It reminded me that my fantasies of reunion with my biological parents (which I have confirmed will never take place due to circumstance) also include highly distressing and negative possibilities. While that is neither here nor there, it elongates this dream and further pushes it into the abstract and ambiguous, if not downright horrific. Thank you for bravely sharing your story of reunion--which was ultimately LOSS. I'm sorry that it began and ended that way for you...strength to you, as you navigate these memories and emotional landscapes. It makes total sense that all of "that" needed to express somewhere, so give yourself some grace regarding the panic attacks and anxiety. Adoptee=having anxiety. Be well, take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. 💗
This was so poignant and beautifully written. I wish you all the best and hope that you have been able to find a semblance of healing, no matter how messy it may look at times.
Side note: I’m not sure if you’ve ever thought about freelance writing, but as a writer myself, I would encourage you to consider this if you haven’t before and it’s something that interests you. ♥️
oh snap, i remember watching years ago when you had like 50k subs and you talked about your adoption and how you were fortunate to have a family adopt you and living in the rust belt around chicago. I have not watched the whole video but i am watching as i write, i am excited to see how you approach this very delicate situation in life. im going to tune in now, thank you ben for sharing this with us.
"A lot of stories are personal until you tell them", what a beautiful quote. Really heart touching story Ben, wishing the best for you
Ben, that could not have been easy. I appreciate you sharing your story.
I actually enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of guts for a man to travel halfway across the world to meet his biological Dad, Start a new life, Lose his Dad the first time meeting, and keep moving on with life. Makes you wonder what the meaning of life really is anyway. Why do we endure certain things, and what is the goal if happiness is never met? is it to be a good person? Partner? Father? Because when those things aren't satisfied... are we just waiting to die? If they are satisfied, are we still just waiting to die? Will we be remembered? Do we even want to be? Life's quite a trip man.
Appreciate the transparency, I know due to obvious reasons this channel tends to shy away from the personal stuff. More power to you Ben on your life journey, we're here for it
Been watching you since highschool and now I'm in my PhD. I will always be proud of how you are able to share these incidents about your life with us. Food aside, you are an amazing person.
I cried when you said you spoke to him. Even though he wasnt concious im sure his soul was glad that you came. We are all energetically connected to our family thats why we yearn to learn more about them . I been subscribed to your channel since 2014 I think. You always come across as a purehearted person. You also remind me of my brother .
I’ve been watching your videos for about 10 years now and always appreciate hearing stories about your life. Thank you for being vulnerable and reminding us to prioritize spending time with our loved ones while we still have the chance. Keep keeping it real Ben 🤙🏼
his first video was 6 years ago??
@@nooblordthefour he deleted most of his older vids
@@YouGotNoJams. ah ok
Even though this video was a ramble, you are a fantastic storyteller. Not only that, but as im sure you know, you have a very calm, relaxing and thought provoking presense and way of speaking that makes videos such as these cathartic and healing. Ive watched a ton of your videos and its these and those moments when you reflect/share on personal matters during your normal eating videos that are my favorites.
Seeing this side of Ben is something I’d never expect to see on this channel. I really respect him for being brave enough to show this vulnerable side of him. Thank you for sharing your story Ben.
Ben it takes a lot to be this open. Especially on a place like the internet. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story ❤
Thank you for sharing this with us Ben, We love you dude!
I'm glad you're comfortable enough to open up like this, big ups man
So much respect for you having the courage to sit down and share this time in your life with us.
Your vulnerability is so respected and appreciated. You have a lot of people here who support you. Thank you so much for sharing.
truly sorry you had to experience your biological dads death like that. we appreciate you telling this story and being vulnerable with us. wish you all the best, Ben. 💚
Insane that you got this vulnerable for the world to see. You’re a real human and it would have taken real guts to do this and say this on camera. Crazy amounts of respect for you, Ben. Wish for nothing but the best for you
You commented 2 minutes ago, video dropped 5 minutes ago. Now I know this video got released for members early, but you arent a member. So how exactly do you know that he got "vulnerable for the world to see"
@Elatenl Tbh from the title alone i knew this was gonna be a bit of a heavy topic.
@@Hydra_X9K_Music I guess but "Insane that you got this vulnerable for the world to see." is quite specific
@Elatenl my headcanon is that he watched the video at 2x speed. Lol, seriously though, I'm not 100% sure myself
@@ElatenlDamn you real af for that, these dudes just saying any filler to get likes and pretend to care about the content
you are so brave and also blessed to be able to do that Ben. Thank you for sharing your story with us x
Ben you're the goat. I wish you and your family the best forever and thank you for trusting us fans with this, Love you man.
Sorry Man. Takes a lot of courage to tell this story. Wish you nothing but the best.
What an incredibly taxing experience. My heart goes out to you and the families involved. Thank you for sharing this experience
You sharing this story online just shows how much you care about your fanbase Ben. I have been watching you for 6+ years now and your content really helped me through tough times. Love your content and hope for many great years of mukbangs to come ❤
Thank you for sharing your story Ben. Actually, your original adoption videos from years ago is how I stumbled upon your channel in the first place. Tracking down your biological family is very brave. I hope this chapter of your journey may close on a positive note. You're doing mighty fine! Take care.
Hey Ben, thanks for sharing. I remember those videos of you talking about your adoption story years ago. It's a pretty big leap of faith in being vulnerable and putting your story out there which I already see many of the comments resonating with it. I wasn't adopted but I do suffer from anxiety and panic attacks like you talked about and yeah, it does heighten following a traumatic or deeply emotional event. But I think you talking about it will help a lot in coming to terms with any hidden feelings or buried emotions about that event so I'm glad you did.
You're a kind and strong person, not a lot of people would want to be part of a situation like that, you're biological brother needed you and you were there for him, that must've meant a lot for him❤
You’re a brave and good man, Ben! I really mean that.
I've followed you forever and I have my own very personal ties with Korea and Koreans. Thank you for this very honest post. I love how you told the story and was touched to hear you saying your name in Korean. I was also aware of you almost constantly touching your wedding ring which is a lovely testament how your love with your wife comforts and strengthens you ❤
You're a good communicator, Ben. Thank you for sharing.
You have my condolences Ben, I admire you were able to speak about this situation and be comfortable with it. Don't hold back on sharing stories with us, some will appreciate them and others won't but if it makes you feel good or better that's all that matters!
He can't though. He needs to be careful.
@@kaeoam5882
Careful of what exactly??
I suffer from anxiety and sometimes panic attacks too bro. I totally feel you. It would be nice if you wanna talk more about that. Glad you opened up to us about this.
You watch a guy wolf down pizza for years -- it's been nice to get a better sense of who he is and where he's coming from. Not just this video but this past year. Outstanding stuff. Really hits home.
As someone who struggles with anxiety, shit for about 3 years now, I’d love to hear about it through your lenses ❤️ You’re a warrior g.
Thank you for sharing Ben. I'm definitely hoping you find some sense of peace
Thanks for sharing Ben, take care
Don’t be too hard on yourself Ben, the fact that you even went shows your character. Hope things are well brother.
I appreciate you for sharing your story bro, chin up brotha.
The free flowing thought is so rare on RUclips now a days. This was very brave
Thank you for sharing, it's not just the Korean culture that deals with death and funerals in such a rushed way. Moving back home from the west I've experienced something similar to this, it was so rushed and you're not even allowed to cry, and random strangers come to eat food, and I'm like I can't even think straight let alone dine at someone's funeral, they're just too emotionally rigid and tough, I don't know how else to describe it.
Hey Ben, just wanted to say that as a Korean-American adoptee myself I really appreciate you sharing this story and being as transparent as you were about all the feelings you were feeling. I haven’t ever gotten to meet my biological parents due to a number of circumstances that are out of my control and haven’t ever really been at peace about it tbh but hearing stories like this from people who have experienced similar things as I have goes a long way and means a lot as growing up as a kid, teen, and even in my adulthood it always felt like nobody in the world could relate to what or how I was feeling. Sending lots of love my man 🙏🏽
Totally understand that feeling of alienation you described...this is what we go through, unfortunately, and the isolation of that feeling of being so separate and "not normal" can really dismantle our wellbeing and sense of self. Well said.
@@beth-z4e yep, have had self-esteem issues most my life as a result of some of those things but have grown to be much more comfortable with who I am and what I’ve been through over the last couple years. Wishing you peace on your own journey, my friend!
@@Tac0maAr0ma Same to you! 🖤
Thanks for sharing something so personal with us. Losing someone biological or not, someone that you have some sort of connection to, is never easy. I can't even fathom what you were feeling in that moment, my heart was wrenching as I got through the video. I wish you success with however you try to deal with this situation.
Thanks again for sharing your story and RIP.
Been a fan of the chill laid back content through the years, but this was always one of those through lines kinda that I was wondering if we'd ever hear I about. I even remember those videos from a couple of years ago where you mentioned something happening and I was like, I wonder if it was related. Anyway, thanks for sharing, I do hope it helped in someway with the closure process.
this made me tear up for you Ben, death is a scary thing and I'm sorry you had to go through that experience, I appreciate you sharing it with us
I just finished watching. Thank you for sharing Ben. There’s a lot of confusing emotions that you go through with these kinds of situations. You don’t know how to feel but there’s this tightness in your chest. I’m glad you got a little bit of closure.
Thanks Ben, my birth father died over 10 years ago. It definitely made me analyze my own story, and may help others too.
That was the first video of yours that I watched; the one about your adoption story. I thought that you had already resolved the situation and reached some closure, since you no longer discussed it in detail. I never imagined that you went through such a heartbreak. I'm so sorry.
Jeez Ben, I know it all feels surreal especially in your situation with your bio mother/father. I've been to a couple of funerals myself and they all feel surreal but yours hits a lot different. Thx for sharing my dood and good to see you doing well enough even after these couple years.
Thank you for sharing something so personal you are a fine man
Ben, I had a similar experience when my mother passed. We had been estranged for awhile when she got Covid and passed really fast. There was no time to talk or come to terms with the stuff that kept us apart. I’ve only cried like that once before in my life. I totally get how you felt. I wish you the happiest of times with your new wife and when your own little one arrives. Good times ahead!
I love your channel! Keep those posts. coming.
Yeah dude, the panic attacks are what got me too. Was going pretty hard on the sauce, and it felt normal for years. Then the panic attacks started when stress around me got insane. Had to cut it all out entirely to get rid of the anxiety. You've got this.
Thanks for sharing your journey Ben. I've been hospitalized in SK, the nurses and techs are way superior to anything we have here in the US and I live in Mn where we have some of the best hospitals in the States. I'm sorry that your biological family never took accountability for always counting you out of their lives until they need you for something. I think your panic attacks could be due to the unresolved feelings of abandonment from your biological family. It's really common in Asian families and you are not alone, Asian parents and nuclear families seem to be willing to estrange a member to serve their own self interests. It feels like neglect and mental/emotional abuse, I can relate.
hope you get better! 🙏
I think people are confused. This isn’t an “Asian” thing at all. East Asian specifically maybe but not everyone is the same
Sorry to hear about your dad and having to meet him in the most unfortunate circumstances. The whole death and funeral structure in Korea is intense compared to the US. You barely have time to mourn right after his passing. I can’t fathom what you were going through. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing such a personal story with us. I always wondered what happened with your search for your biological parents. I hope you have some peace and closure. Stay strong Ben. ❤
very real of you to be this vulnerable. much love brother
Appreciate you for sharing this story brotha 🙏💙
Thanks for sharing. Your story is helpful to me and many others. Talking about mental health is always ok.
@@epiccheatmealday1180 this is exactly WHY we need to talk more about how real world shit causes mental health problems!
I'm sorry to hear this Ben. I am 24, and found out at 23 that the man that raised me my whole life was not my biological father. Although not the same, I can feel that same sense of betrayal and heartbreak that can come with it. Love those that have loved you and you will be okay. Much love, Ben.
He is still your father
the reason he can talk about this now is now he feels better to talk..! so great job Ben, proud of you!
Didn't know you had to go through this type of situation.
thank you for telling us your personal experience, we love you
Been waiting for resolution to this story for a couple years now. Glad to see you opening up to us Ben
Thank you for sharing something so personal. It was really brave of you to put this online.
u a real one dawg. nobody asked to be born, yet here we are. growing up i had a very solid family, a dream of a life. yet the more i went on the more i realized just how much my parents went through, it was crazy to me to end up seeing them as people when for most my life i just saw them as these pillars of undeniable purpose and place. like, they were my parents. but underneath it all they were in the same exact position i was in and was struggling too. family is weird like tht. pretty wild to think abt
I think that talking about this is part of your healing process. I'm a little younger than you, but I've experienced the death of close family members a few times, and I can never forget the moment I saw my grandmother pass away in the hospital, even after 10 years. What I felt was that talking about these moments with close family members and others can help overcome the trauma. I also deeply empathize with the Korean funeral culture. I believe it needs to change. It feels like the process doesn't give enough time for the people left behind to prepare themselves emotionally and properly honor the deceased. Instead, it's all about quickly going through the procedures. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope you find some peace, even if it's just a little, from now on.
Thank you for taking the time to share your story with all of us Ben. Please don’t ever apologize for anything. Being real is a rarity these days in social media and you’re very refreshing. I had no idea what you had been through as a newer viewer. So much respect to you. I hope that you continue to open up your feelings to us. You’re so superior with being a conversationalist and have created a beautiful caring community that supports you through everything.
Thank you Ben. You did so well sharing your story. ❤
Hey Ben. I’ve never commented on your channel until now. I am truly deeply sorry for your loss of your biological father. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your story of your loss of a parent and the vulnerability of the depth of one’s grief. My dad also shared similarities like you being born in SK then adopted and moved to the US. So your story became very personal for me and moved me to understand you and what you went through. My most deepest and humbled condolences to you and your family.
Sending from Seattle.
I have never met any of my biological family. I am curious, but my adopted family loves me, and I really didn't want to go there. I thank you because your story makes me feel better about my decision not trying to be cruel, but you have put yourself through the ringer. I pray you're able to get closure because your story is heartbreaking to me.
We all appreciate you sharing this experience with us Ben, and there’s nothing wrong with sharing personal stories like this.
It’s always a good idea to share what’s on your mind and get things off of your chest as a reliever. So that’s one positive thing I could see that came from this video.
Also I believe just remembering this experience will help you in the future for when you do have kids to be a better parent for your children than what your biological parents were to you and not make the same mistakes that they may have done to you.
Stay safe and continue doing what you do best Ben.
I really appreciate the candor, and sharing these painful parts of your life with us. I'm a couple of years younger than you, but as I get older death becomes more and more present in my life. It's hard to talk about, but It's cathartic.
You are incredibly emotionally mature, Ben. Thank you for being so courageous as to share your really difficult emotional journey. I think what you have gone through would give anyone panic attacks...have you considered therapy? Getting an unbiased perspective may help with your healing process. Wishing you all the best with your new wife and family to be, you deserve all the happiness ❤
I'm more than halfway through listening/watching. I've never been more attentive watching a youtube video. I feel a comfort and sincerity listening to this like nothing else.
I like these story videos. The food has always been secondary to me. I'm not one of those freaks who like to listen to people chew, or get off on watching people eat. This channel has always been about the commentary, and even the weird humor.
Same
I really appreciate you sharing your story. I can relate, cuz I have my own late-father story, but I'm not going to distract from yours.
You deserve to be heard. You are heard.
Much love ❤
I’m so sorry about your situation Ben it’s so brave of you to share this with us💕
Thanks for sharing, Ben. It's not an easy thing to do. Hope all becomes better.
Thanks for sharing Ben, hope you're doing better man.
Blessings to you and your family bro. Thank you for sharing this with us
Thank you for sharing your story Ben. I really hope you find true closure.
Ben, I have been a subscriber for a very long time and I remember your adoption story. Since I only know you through RUclips, I was surprised at the emotions that I personally experienced while listening to your story. This truly took me by surprise. Saying that, I can only imagine some of the emotions that you may have experienced two years ago and even now. I am happy that you have supportive parents and a lovely wife to be with you then and now.
Thank you for sharing! I am sure you are helping many people! Sorry to hear about your Biological Dad's passing for you and your Brother.
Ben, you don't ever need a reason to come on here and share anything.... many of us have been watching you for long... and I have my dinner and lunch with you on many occasions... WE are sending you SO much love Ben the same kind of love you send us by sharing a meal with us... SENDING YOU SO MUCH LOVE BEN.... WE LOVE YOU... in the most natural and non-weird way
Thank you for sharing your personal story. You don't need to apologize at all.
I'm happy for you Ben ❤❤
I am so thankful you shared this. What took you 2 years to recover from for this video to happen would take others a lot longer to process, if not a lifetime, including myself. There's so many layers to connecting with your biological brother. Although I believe it doesn't hurt to have more family, totally respect that both of you find it hard to connect/reach out to each other. The awkwardness is real lol
that was tough bro. i understand what youre going through. family is a messed up situation. my family is also pretty distant. people get caught up with their own lives that they ignore yours
Ben Deen - You always a real one. Keep it up. Respect
👍💝🤗💝I appreciate you honoring your story. This is all part of the healing process. This is how you started this channel. I’m one of the day one era subscribers and love that you shared your adoption story. You’re human. Your stories are important and help other people. I hope you re-post your original adoption story videos. We support you. Thank you for sharing with us. 🙏💝
Thanks for sharing Ben, preciate you and your content ✊🏽
First of all condolences 💐 and thank you for sharing your chapter of life. Definitely not an easy thing to go through, been in a similar situation and the death of a relative had a little impact on my mental state and this too was during covid times a couple of years ago. I didn’t know you were adopted and I found myself relating to your videos and this story as I too am adopted. Peace ✌️
Good for you to go through the process. It's not about the how the experience but rather the process. Well done
Thanks for sharing Ben. Sorry for what you had to go through. You’re a great storyteller
You did good telling the story. Thanks for sharing.
Lost my dad to
Covid as well I know how you feel man. Thanks for sharing and I hope you’re able to be at peace.
Thank you for sharing more of who you are as a person with this story. I’ve been following for a long time and always prayed for good things for you. I hope you have got some relief about it by talking your thoughts out but I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet your biological parents in a better situation. Please continue to use us as a sounding board if it helps at all! Peace and love! 💜
Thanks for sharing man, been following u since day 1. Appreciate it all man, super brave to talk about this so publicly. Also congrats on the marriage man!