@karin Land Wie immer, unser deutsches Leben wird so oft für selbstverständlich und als normal angesehen. Dabei ist das Leben in Deutschland einfach wahnsinnig privilegiert und luxuriös. Montags gegen Maske demonstrieren und dann abends auf der Couch liegen und TV schauen, mit einem vollen Kühlschrank in der Küche und warmen Wasser in der Dusche. Das ist nicht normal, das ist Luxus. Im Krankheitsfall medizinisch versorgt zu werden, Luxus. Arbeitslos werden und dafür geld bekommen, Luxus. Daher gehen mir die ganzen schreihälse und Menschen, die immer über dieses Land abhaten, einfach nur auf den Sack. Mehr Demut und Wertschätzung für das, was wir in diesem Land überhaupt alles haben und als normal betrachten. Und dann gibt es echt welche die ein Tempolimit auf der Autobahn als Einschränkung der persönlichen Freiheit sehen. Wir leben wie die Made im Speck.
@@nachnamevorname_the_original ja, da hast du recht. Ich war erstaunt zB über „Es gibt Familentickets.“ und „Der Arzt spricht direkt mit dem Kind.“ das hätte ich in so einer Liste nicht erwartet.
I dont think its a problem thst we only tent to see the negative aspects and there are some. Only if we dont stop pointing out whats wrong and actualy try to improve the syrhem even more there can be and even better future. If we just sit down and apreciate the good we might as well change our name to usa 2.0
To incence the lively debate even more: I really do not understand how U.S. American politicians argue that it is the states' right to make a woman carry an unwanted pregnancy, and at the same time argue that the state has no responsibility in supporting families. Either you are in or you are out - rights and responsibilities go hand in hand, even for states and federal governments. The hypocracy makes me afraid for your democracy.
It is hypocracy. But you have to see it as two different things. The first is the conservative culture war issue, they adapted after couldnt do their racism openly anymore after the civil rights movement. So its the issue, that gets them the votes and therefore the power. On the other hand, any social issue including surporting families and kids would cost money. And since they are legally bribed by companies (because the Surpreme Court considers money as free speach) to keep the taxes as low as possible and keep down any workers rights. So one is used to gain the power, the other is used to get rich while in power.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Yes and against Woman. The US needs human supplies for the military and cheap labor - so sad. These people make me angry. There is already a bounty on people's heads in Texas for helping an abortionist!!!! 😨The USA is so backwards in parts and the Democrats do nothing about it because they might lose voters and sponsors. For example, the states could not be admitted to the EU because they do not meet the requirements.
@@scottevil4531 the explanation of the origin makes sense. But how they get away with outcome of these contradictory arguments is puzzling. Why would people vote against their own self-interest?... But then again, we have some of the same problems, just not as obvious
This. All of this. I’m a single mother living in the states and I can’t even begin to describe how ridiculous it is to raise a child here. When I first had my daughter, I needed to work, and attempted to get a job at a child care center so my daughter could go there and I could make enough money to pay my bills. Well, it cost so much to send my daughter there that even with the “employee discount”, it would have taken my entire paycheck + I would need more to finish paying the costs, but unfortunately working in the field that I was educated didn’t pay enough to pay the exorbitant amount of childcare costs outright. Fortunately, I’m a veteran and used the GI bill to go back to school while I stayed at home with my child. However, child care costs are crazy and the reason so many people are unable to work. And then health care costs. Yikes. But the worst part for me isn’t even the cost of raising a child here - or places not allowing children to come (like doctor’s appointments) when you have no child care for them, but how scary it is to raise a child here. I mean, you have to fear sending them to school, going grocery shopping, riding public transportation, etc. in the event someone brings a gun. Then you also have to fear letting them play outside without you being a hawk over them in the event someone would take your child. Or turning your back for a second in a store. I mean - you even have to fear accidentally leaving your door unlocked because someone could come into your home and take your child. Luckily, I’m starting the process to move to Germany. I cannot wait to raise my child in a country that allows me to breathe. Great video (as always)! I’m looking forward to your next one.
Oh wow, you could’ve done this video yourself and it would go viral! I’d love to connect with you on Instagram - perhaps I could interview you once your here in Germany and then you can share the differences. I’m so happy for you that you’re able to move to Germany - is it with the military?
@@nebelland8355 one child, every 40 seconds, goes missing or is abducted in the United States and while many of these may be resolved within hours, a lot of them will be permanent. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve about had a heart attack when an Amber alert goes off on my phone. Let me tell you, it’s more times than I should that’s for sure. I may be more paranoid than others when it comes to child abduction, but that may stem from a situation that happened when I was younger and a stranger asked me if I’d like to walk to the store with her. Luckily our living room window was open and my father overheard someone talking to my sister and I and came outside at the perfect moment. But I’m also not naive enough to think it could never happen.
@@nebelland8355 it's not even just kidnapping they have to fear of they let their kids out on their own. Someone can and will call CPS or child protective services on parents for neglect and other nonsense over this. Imagine if that happened in Germany, half of my cities parents would just lose their kids pretty much because they even go on public transport on their own as young as 7 years old to get to school or to a playground.
As a German raising our family in the US I have to agree with you, too. Everything is sooo expensive here. There is no walkability past our block. We are lucky our kids are able to walk to a close by park on their own without having to cross a major road. (Thanks to Utah embracing "free ranged" kids) We still feel liberated each time we visit family in Germany.
As an American living in Germany and raising my little one here I 💯 agree with all of your points. Definitely doesn’t make me want to move back to the US anytime soon. I much prefer our quality of life as a family here in Germany and excited for my daughter to experience a place that treats children with much more care and respect.
It's very validating to hear that another American mom agrees with us! Once you've lived in both countries, your eyes are really opened to how Germany has progressed beyond the USA. It's so interesting how the USA was such a beacon of light to the rest of the world in democracy for so long. And then things really started shifting after WWII.
If you wanna know why Germany and other countries in Europe have developed to the countries they are now, you should watch this video (36 min): "How Denmark invented Social Democracy". It is NOT a commercial for Denmark. The video is made by a German guy, and he explains how it all started. The video is based on political science, and it's brilliant. Even though Kevin have lived in Sweden, I will bet a Dunkel, he doesn't know why Sweden is as it is. But he can find out by watching the video. Even Germans will learn why their country developed to the great country it is now. Very educational.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Sorry, but the USA was never ever a beacon of democracy and freedom in the world. Race segregation till the sixties! McCarthy era, wage slavery at the coal mines till the 50ies! andandand. That is just for the record. Sorry for the interruption but....
I'm from Austria and it's also considered really important to learn about "stranger danger". We all were told "Never get into a stranger's car" and "Never take sweets from a stranger". But nobody ever told me not to talk to strangers, e.g. adults often asked me for directions - if you are out alone as a child, you probably live in the area and know your way around... For teenagers, another "stranger danger"-rule is added. "Never take a drink from a stranger". Crime rates in Austria are the same as in Germany (or even slightly lower), but people still follow some rules to be really safe.
what just happened in Texas shows that one of the most important things is that children can go to school without fear. in schools without closed doors, without metal detectors and without armed security guards. this is probably one of the most child-friendly. then comes the parents without fear of being able to go to cinemas or supermarkets without fear with their children.
Tell that to the victims of the german death camps. If only every "undesirables " had been armed to the teeth when the german police came to round them up for a train ride of death. Germans welcomed many with promises of a nice hot shower, only to find Zyklon B pouring into the shower.
@@dave8599 now no idea what crimes that happened 80 years ago in Europe (Germany) has to do with the weapon weakness of today's USA. but while we're at it, how many Indians have been slaughtered under the US? how many slaves did the US have and how many of them were killed? vietnam with 2 million dead Vietnamese were also not exactly a glorious leaf and hiroshima and nagasaki ? or the preventive war of junior bush in Iraq, where the USA had lied to the entire UN, etc., etc., so first sweep away the dirt in front of your own house door.
"Where we lived, our neighborhood was pretty safe. [...] There were some shootings in the town we lived in" This is a sentence that does not make any sence to me as a german. Having shootings in the town is something I would concider very unsafe. So bizzar to hear this both sentences describing the same place.
2 года назад+5
I thought the same thing 😂 WHAT you call that safe
Last year I was in Bregenz at the opera festival. Sitting in a nice cafe next to the waterfront we could hear our American neighbors talking. They were talking housing prices in the San Francisco area. One of them talked about the housing prices in a specific area being pretty decent. No more than 1,5 to two million. And pretty safe. Just the occasional drive by shooting. 😮 the other one agreed that this was decent. We were just laughing so hard because they were serious- in no way this would ever be acceptable here!
I myself have no children, but a girlfriend of mine has three. She got divorced when the kids were 5 to 10. When her two boys were teens they became very difficult. One was often very aggressive and the other used to drive trunken moped which sometimes ended at a police station. My girlfriend never punished them but always talked and discussed with them - often for hours. Today both “bad boys” are themselves in their thirties, one is studied IT-expert and the other made carreer in a hotel. And both have a good relationsship with her mother! I was always impressed how she handled the problems with the kids. When her younger son failed at the gymnasium she was not disappointed but recognized that he is more a “practical” kind of person. And as a shift leader in a hotel he is very admired and respected by guests and collegues.
When i was young my father didn't take parental leave (i don't know if it was available in the late 1990s) but we went on a father-son cure vacation to Amrum (island in the north sea) when i was 4. They are paid by your german health insurance and available for mothers too of course. I still remember this today and it was an awesome experience. Beeing on vacation for 3 weeks with only your dad (and other parents with their children) formed a really big bond between us. I can highly recommend.
Our children are your age, yes, after maternity leave the father could have taken parental leave (instead of the mother), but in many professions overtime was still paid at the time, and the father often simply had more income as a result. Even if the income was otherwise almost the same. The child-raising allowance at that time was a maximum of 600 DM/approx. 306 euros The new regulation requires fathers to share parental leave with the mother, since a) the amounts are higher and b) if both take parental leave a few months longer is paid. When our children were small, only 2 men from our circle of parents and acquaintances at the time (baby care course; toddler group; family members) took parental leave. "Young" fathers take parental leave without worrying, even if they hold managerial positions. And thanks to "home office", some fathers tend to stay at home when their wives and children are sick. ** the fact that your father went to the rehab with you could also simply have been because you had health insurance with him and your mother had another insurance, which would have made the application processing and billing more complicated.
My dad went to one of those with my older brother. My brother had meningitis when he was 3 years old and that left him having to relearn pretty much anything. They offered to either let our mom or our dad go with my older brother. This was in 1990 so this really has been a thing for ages now.
Fun fact about your last topic of spanking children. The initiative comes from the famous childrens author Astrid Lindgren. When receiving the Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, on 22 October 1978, Astrid Lindgren made a speech about non-violent upbringing. In 1979, due to Astrid Lindgren's speech, a law was introduced in Sweden prohibiting violence against children. I had her speech as a poster for years over my desk. There is a great article on wikipedia "Never Violence!"
And has this had the desired effect? The last time I checked nothing much had changed, in fact I think there is more youth-related crime and violence than before the ban was introduced.
@@moelleunbelievable Okay, just checked again and The figures for youth related crime are still pretty much the same as pre-ban. resourcecentre.savethechildren.net/pdf/4616.pdf/ That said, reducing youth crime was never one of the stated aims of the ban. Which is odd, because it is often quoted as being so by many anti-spanking groups who use Sweden as an example of the benefits of such a ban.
I was born in 1952 and raised with the pedagogic slaps and kicks of the time (delivered by parents, neighbours, teachers, police). Same as all the kids around me. No big deal really. There might have been some real abuse, but that is still going on now, as we all know. But when I look at the result of the new, extremely non-violent raising of the kids since, I wonder if the little narcists, the princes and princesses, will do any better in society, by looking at it through their handscreens.
I will never forget the day when spanking got illegal in Austria. It was an incredible and uplifting feeling that your government shares and even supports your opinion as a child that it is not ok to hurt a kid.
Yes! And while there will still be families who spank their children even after it became illegal, the cultural tone that law sets is strong and very important in changing the mindset and culture long-term.
I am from germany and my father did occasionally (rarely) spank me when I did something really stupid like beating other children or my sister, but never much only 2 or 3 hits on the bum and I think this is ok. I personally am no parent yet, but I am a teacher and I would never hit a student, even if I was allowed to and I think I could not hit my child, if I had one.
The main reason why the birth rate in Germany has been too low for years is the poor compatibility of work and family. Politicians are trying to counteract this and have gradually created the parent-friendly laws we know today.
But in what way does this contribute to the discussion on the situation of children in the U.S.? At some point we will have to accept that countries handle things differently, and that opinions about it will differ as well. If the German way was universally accepted, every society would choose to implement it. That is obviously not happening.
@@TheHC97 looking at other places for raising children might slowly change things in the USA. I’m pretty sure, you couldn’t just copy the way Germany does it, but maybe implement some the things adapted to the culture in the USA. I know, that some prisons in the USA changed, after the responsible people visited prisons in Germany and somewhere in Scandinavia (I forgot the country). They didn’t change everything at once, just implemented some things and things were getting better for everyone involved.
@@jennyh4025 I do agree. But I also believe that this should always go both ways, because not everything is either entirely good or entirely bad in one country or the other.
About three years ago I experienced the following in a German drugstore, which I, as a mother, also very much welcome. I stood in line at the cash register. In front of me was a child holding a larger toy. When it was the child's turn, the clerk said she couldn't sell him the toy. The boy naturally wanted to know why he couldn't buy it. The saleswoman explained to him in a friendly tone that children up to the age of twelve can only buy goods that do not exceed the value of twenty euros. They are therefore only allowed to buy small things that they can safely pay for with their pocket money. The saleswoman went on to say that if he wanted the toy he had chosen, she could put it away for him to buy with his mother or father.
Beschränkte Geschäftsfähigkeit nennt sich das. Ist definitiv eine gute Idee für die Läden sowas im Blick zu halten denn die Eltern können bei Kindern ohne Wenn und Aber die Ware einfach zurück geben wenn sie nicht dem Kauf zugestimmt haben. Bei 14 bis 17 jährigen gibt es da auch noch ein paar Regeln die dürfen aber schon etwas mehr kaufen.
When the Child Tax Credit was expanded and paid out it reduced child poverty in the US by 30%...for a while. The child poverty rate in the U.S. is nearly double that of Germany. And you are so right, the people who need it most get it the least.
Danke für das wirklich sehr interessante Video! Als Deutscher nimmt man so vieles als selbstverständlich … und es tut gut, zu hören, dass es das nicht ist. Ich bin dankbar, hier zu leben. Unabhängig davon, dass ich einige der Vorteile, die junge Eltern heute haben, noch nicht hatte, als meine Tochter geboren wurde. Und natürlich bin ich sehr gespannt auf euer nächstes Video.
Interesting to hear as always. I would be interesting to see how the kids perceive the difference. Maybe they cannot really articulate it perfectly but it won´t be long until it might not be more than a hazy memory. So maybe ask them for their take before all the memory fades, because it´s probably mostly the little things that won´t really be remembered for long by anyone.
Well we lived in a house that had a very nice, big garden and a forest behind the house they could play in. So they loved our house and yard in the US. To them, life was good. But it depends on your social class, really.
Well we lived in a house that had a very nice, big garden and a forest behind the house they could play in. So they loved our house and yard in the US. To them, life was good. They really like all of the independence they have here in Germany.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I think the effects don't really become noticeable until they are teenagers, when they start to wean themselves off their parents!? In the US, children are sheltered and restricted with prohibitions until they leave home and then fall into the cold water, right?
I have read several articles now, why the birthrates in the U.S. have gone down in the past several years, and more young people don't necessarily see it as an enhancement to their lives anymore. The number one reason given, was the cost of raising a child because of all the reasons you touched upon in this video. I've seen young mothers cry because they've had to leave their babies and go back to work, because their family needed the money. I've seen mothers cry because they've not properly recuperated from child birth, because 2 weeks off work without pay, was all their family could afford. My heart bled for those mothers and to me, this is criminal. It's a huge failure of the society here, and makes me absolutely horribly angry. When you make it this hard especially on mothers and dads too, to raise a child or children , society has horribly failed. In most cases, 2 incomes are needed now for a family to make it through all their basic financial obligations and when you add the burden of expensive childcare to it, it comes to a breaking point. On the subject of corporal punishment, I'm stunned that it is still allowed in some States in schools. How utterly archaic and counter productive to a child's development. When my daughter was a toddler, I started a playgroup because there were no kids her age in our neighborhood. There was a group of about 7 or 8 mothers and their kids, and on the very first meeting at my house, one of the mothers spanked her kid in front of all of us because the toddler didn't listen to her. We were all shocked and it got very quiet and awkward. What can a 2 year old possibly do, that you as a grown adult lose your s..t, and hit your small 2 year old child? Let's just say, that mother never returned to our play group. I've experienced corporal punishment during my childhood on occasion quite severe, and it was absolutely devastating to me and had lasting effects. I swore to myself then that if I ever had any kids, they would never have to experience that, and she didn't. Children should never have to fear their parents or any person of authority over them.
Love your comments, Isa, and agree with everything that you write - especially this part - "My heart bled for those mothers and to me, this is criminal. It's a huge failure of the society here, and makes me absolutely horribly angry. When you make it this hard especially on mothers and dads too, to raise a child or children , society has horribly failed." I so agree - a failure of society.
I was yelled a "communist" by an Idahoan simply for appreciating the GER family care system.... Once you've received the silver plate for 100k subs, please make sure to repost this video (amongst many others). I sure hope you're having lots of viewers in the US......
Aawwww, that's awful! ....And shocking too that he would so readily identify what, ultimately, you guys are advocating. Maybe he values his "life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and property" and doesn't want to be FORCED to pay for YOUR "family care"!!! ....Go figure! Don't you worry. Someday, they will make such outbursts a crime -- you know, "misinformation" (as deemed by a government commission dedicated to proper thought). So, what do you want to call it: a system where THE STATE (even if by majority vote -- most mob lynchings are done by popular demand as well, you know; three cheers for "democracy"!) LEVELS a GUN at your neighbor's head -- you know that guy in that other ZIP code whom you've deemed "privileged" (by race, even 04:45 ) and identified as someone who has "too much" or "more than enough" -- and takes from him a sizeable portion of his earnings or estate, and gives it out to others in the community on the basis of "need" (or even on the basis of historical grievance by people of the recipient's ethnic/racial stock)? Who was it who put forward the slogan (as moral justification for a particular state-backed economic system called, what, again?), "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!" ....(AND, that this was to be accomplished by state coercion!) Was that Jesus? Maybe it was Plato? ....Some guy named "Karl"? ....Groucho Marx's older and more hirsute brother? (Okay, I don't know about that last part.) Yeah, that Karl guy had NOTHING to do with "communism"!!! (Would you prefer to call it by its other name, "socialism"?) Is the fact that it is developed over decades via democratic vote (in the Federal Republic of Germany or the United States) something which makes it FUNDAMENTALLY different as an end result? ("Social Democracy", I think it's called.) It seems the Idahoan understood the FUNDAMENTAL POINT of the system that you are "appreciating" ("admiring"). He's thinking, "how can I draw a line and declare, 'No, this is MINE! I developed my own talents and worked hard and I'm keeping THIS!!'." Tell him how you would draw this line and declare, "That's enough! We'll just take THAT much!" ....Because we haven't met a democratic socialist (or any kind of socialist) who has managed to elaborate a LIMIT to this "rob Paul to pay Peter" stuff. ...After all, the RECIPIENTS of this entitled largess can vote also! People can vote THEMSELVES money out of the public treasury!!
I honestly started crying at the end when you were talking about spanking kids. Because it's a tragedy that this still happens and is widely accepted by society in so many countries but also because of how empathic and well educated you two are in terms of brain development, child behavior etc. The respectful and loving way you treat your kids is one of the main reasons why I watch your channel. It's a corrective experience for me to see but also very difficult emotionally because I realize how things should have been instead of the horrific abuse I had to survive at home and in various other places when I was a kid. I'm sure Germany is more aware of children's needs than the US but there's still so much to do here in terms of the family system being valued and protected more than the well-being of the child. As long as children don't get hurt overtly no one cares. The parents almost always get the benefit of the doubt which I don't understand when there's clear evidence for trauma in the child's behavior, thinking and feeling.
I am so very sorry you experienced trauma as a child. It’s not right nor is it fair. ❤️ Yeah talking abou spanking makes my stomach hurt also - knowing so many children still live with that fear, despite the resounding evidence that it’s harmful.
When I was a new parent, I had misjudged how much milk and water to take with me, and our little one was crying very loudly (thirsty, tired) in the tram on our way home. Some 40-something man shouted at us: "can't you keep that (blasted) kid quiet?" when an older woman shouted at him saying: "you be quiet, that child is going to pay your pension!" She got a round of applause. Our 4 yr old daughter had been taunted by a little boy at a sandbox (unbeknown to me) when another lady who had witnessed this, went up to the boy and said to him sternly: "one doesn't throw sand!, be nice to the other children here or I will call your mom" The boy ran crying to his mother and I heard her say: "I told you to be nice, now you have the other parents angry at you," and she brought boy over to our daughter and made him apologize. Yes, it takes a village to raise a child.
Those are great examples of how it takes a village to raise a child! I love what that older woman said to the main - "you be quiet, that child is going to pay your pension!" Such a perfect comeback!!
The gun violence issue is so insane, at least from my german perspective. Its crazy for me to think of strangers carrying guns. Never have I ever heard of someone being shot within my social circles or in general. Sure there might be some really rare occasions in the news (national wide), like 5-ish a year if not less. I can't understand why people are so stubborn if it comes to owning guns.... and call it "freedom" - the more guns a society "got" - the more people will die. period. There is no way around it.
Actually there are many guns in Germany as well. I think Germans rank 4th on gun ownership. So it is not the guns that kill people, it is indeed the violent society (in the US) that kills.
I think whether maternity/paternity leave is used equally is very much an issue of the particular culture of that place. At my work, parents commonly share the leave more or less equally (and yes, they actually use it to take care of their kids). But I work at a university and universities are rather notoriously progressive. Nobody there really questions fathers taking paternity leave and it's quite common. But I do know from friends who work in places with a more conservative culture that it's much more uncommon for fathers to take more than the two partner months.
Btw, a lot of the view on child rearing in Germany also ties back (like so many things) to the NAZI time. Basically we realised that raising children to be obedient MIGHT not be the best idea. Hence there was a phase in which all kinds of child raising was tested out...we actually went all the way in the other direction for some time, with the "laissez-Faire" style, in which the children were basically allowed to do everything, which turned out to be not quite right either, because those children tended to grow up quite spoiled. So nowadays, most people settle somewhere in the middle, in which there are SOME boundaries for the children, but they are also treated like full human beings.
Oh wow, interesting! I had no idea this was part of the reason, but it makes sense. It’s so important to raise children who think for themselves and aren’t forced to think a certain way.
To my mind, the greatest differences between Germany (and most of Europe )and the US is less fear and less violence in all categories of life. I don’t understand that a nation with this immense wealth and power is so insecure and fearful.
Yeah it's really interesting to see how Europe and the USA have changed so much culturally. I think part of the reason for the fear in the USA is the lack of support among the poor - they have very difficult lives with very little security for their futures. Also, after WWII, Europe really progressed forward and learned from the two terrible World Wars. I'm not exactly sure why the US did not.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Sometimes I think the american government is very violent not only against their society but also against other countries. They show you are very successful when you are brutal with all the wars and regime changes and so on. You can take what you want and everything is ok if it's good for yourself. I allways must think about Albright and the 500.000 Iraqi children.
2 года назад
@@arnolsi 500.000 what can you explain very quickly... how did they do that
@ Die meisten starben an Infektionen und Vergiftungen, vor allem durch verunreinigtes Wasser. Es gab keine Medikamente und keine Chemikalien zur Wasseraufbereitung.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Ein wesentlicher Grund müsste die Existenz der DDR gewesen sein: In Deutschland waren beide Systeme über Jahrzehnte im direkten Wettbewerb, wer seinen Bürgern das bessere Leben bietet. Relativ kurz nach der Wiedervereinigung wurde das soziale Netz zurück gebaut. Die jetzigen Verbesserungen, insbesondere im Familienbereich, sind auf die niedrigen Geburtenraten zurück zu führen. Kinder werden auch als Investition in die Zukunft gesehen: Deutschland hat wenig Rohstoffe. Der Wohlstand kommt von gut ausgebildeten Menschen. Daher war es wichtig, dass Frauen ermutigt werden, wieder mehr Kinder zu haben. Außerdem ist es wichtig, dass die Kinder gut ausgebildet sind, um später unseren Wohlstand zu halten.
This was really interesting. I'm a German living in Greece and my children consider Germany not very child friendly compared to Greece. As a parent I would say that Germany is definitely very parent friendly and hence also child friendly, but when it comes to how people interact with children I'd say that Greeks do better than Germans. Hearing how children live in the US made me very sad, but also helped me understand the why of US politics. If you can't trust anyone you can't trust your government and you must focus mainly on your own survival and wellbeing and don't care about community.
@@carpediem5232 I tell you a few interactions I've experienced with my children in Greece that I don't think would have taken place in Germany: 1) I get onto the bus with a toddler and need to close the pushchair because there's not much space and a bunch of teenagers sitting in the back of the bus are listening to music and trying to behave "cool". The biggest guy with his girlfriend on his lap sees my toddler and screams right through the whole bus: "A little girl!!! She's so beautiful, I want a daughter like her when I'll be older!!! Come here little girl, sit with us until your mummy gets the pushchair closed." My daughter walked there and all the teens wanted to have her sit on their lap, talk to her. They told her how pretty she was, gave her snacks, asked for her name and said her name was beautiful. She sat with them until the teens had to get off and they brought her to me making sure she was sitting down properly before they got off the bus and waved at her, calling her with her name saying goodbye. 2) when we would go have some food at a taverna if it wasn't absolutely busy the stuff would approach the kids and ask if they wanted go see some cat/fish/baby/the kitchen/... If I had a baby they'd offer to carry it around a bit so I could eat more easily. Usually kids would be offered a little sweet for free. Children running around would never be seen as a problem neither by staff nor by guests. It's also not uncommon that children go to other tables and people talk to them and sometimes can offer them a little from their food. 3) when I had to do stuff like going to the bank or in a public office or anything else that requires queuing and had little kids or a baby with me it was absolutely standard I was told to skip and just go next even if I had like 20 people in front of me. Everybody agrees that you can't require pregnant women, babies and toddlers to wait for a long time in such a setting. If the staff don't call a pregnant woman to the desk, people in the queue will approach staff and tell them there's a pregnant woman/baby/toddler so they can call them to skip the queue. 4) when I flew to Germany, pushchairs, being considered bulky luggage would arrive in the end after all the other luggage. When I flew to Greece pushchairs would be brought directly to the exit of the airplane, so parents wouldn't have to carry the child and contemporary have to get their luggage. 5) While at the beach other parents will encourage their children to approach your child and invite them to play together. They'll offer your child food, toys and look out for your child. If people see you struggling with carrying all the stuff you carry when having little kids, most likely someone will offer help.
@@helgaioannidis9365 Well to some extend I think it has more to do with a different approach to privacy while it also seems to me that a lot of what you described happens in Germany as well. In a Restaurant for example, as long as it was outside I often have seen children running around. Compliments for children are pretty common too. When it comes to the situation in the bus I know similar situations from the train where people either give up their seat entirely so that a young child can sit or interact with the child. Although it has to be said that again this is accompanied with a look or two to the parent once in a while as if to check if they are also fine with that "intrusion" of family privacy. The same goes for helping to carry a piece of luggage maybe or helping carry the pushchair down the stairs. As far as kids roaming around and maybe getting a snack, that is something I know from parks. And parents encouraging their children to play with others is common on play grounds. That pregnant women/ parents with toddlers are able to skip the queue is also pretty common in my experience. When it comes to pushchairs on plains that would probably have to be the policy of the airline or the airport. Lufthansa for example seems to have the same service you mentioned. "Sobald das Flugzeug die Parkposition erreicht, erhalten Sie den Buggy an der Fluggastbrücke zurück oder am Fuß der Fluggasttreppe, falls der Transfer mit dem Bus stattfindet." There seem to be some airports where as a passenger you can not take the push chair into the plane cabin yourself, but it seems that the the same service of getting the pushchair once you leave the plain still applies. All in all. I can't say that these examples seem that strange or foreign for me. There might be a difference in how "open" you perceive it, which probably has to do with the different approach to privacy already mentioned, but non of the examples you listed would seem out of place to me if they happened in Germany and many actually happen in Germany in similar fashion. That's at least my experience.
@@carpediem5232 I agree that these things can happen in Germany, too, it's a question of frequency I think. In Germany I've had the experience of people trying to get in front of me in a queue while busy with my toddler, that never ever happened to me in Greece and would have brought very hostile reactions towards the person trying to do that. In Germany nobody cared, not even staff. I've also in Germany had the experience that many people refused to help me with the stairs and the pushchair, even when I was having two children, luggage and the pushchair. One person even said "why did you get a child if you can't handle it on your own?" 😮 My children having experienced both Germany and Greece growing up, consider Greece being much more child friendly. I think it's just the general attitude. What I personally really love about Germany are the great playgrounds. They are really designed to the needs of children. Greek playgrounds are very boring compared to German ones. And in Germany families get much more help financially than in Greece.
@@helgaioannidis9365 Well all of what you mentioned is not socially excepted also. Skipping the line anyway, skipping it in front of an elderly person, or a parent with toddler especially. Of course I won't discount your experience, but in my experience it is more likely that 3 or more people look if they can help a parent down some stairs than none at all. But yeah always interesting to hear another perspective.
To me as a neighbour of a super noisy family it is a horror that children can be as loud as they want the WHOLE day. I really suffer because the shouting and stomping for hours is so exhausting. I have to work from home and often cannot understand my conversational partners during video meeting since the neighbors' children are so loud. I think parents still have a responsibility to be considerate of their neighbors. When I was a child, my mother often told me to be a bit more quiet as we had elderly neighbors and I understood it and tried to follow. My today's neighbors think that it will harm their children's development if they tell them to be more quiet. 🙄 It is very frustrating to me and I think that there should be a law that restricts children's noise to a certain amount. To me, it is totally clear that children are louder than adults but that should not be used as a "license" to be loud. By the way, I think Kevin's story is from Sweden. In Germany there is Nachtruhe, usually from 10 pm to 6 am and not even children are allowed to be noisy during this time period (except crying of course, but they are not allowed to play loudly).
I can totally understand the difficulty you must have with loud children while working from home. Before COVID, working from home wasn’t that common. But now that it is perhaps this law needs to be updated.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I am happy that most parents are not like my neighbours but for those few who are, an updated law would be helpful. We also have other neighbours with children and the parents are very considerate and even said they hope that their children are not too loud, even though we have not felt disturbed by them at all.
In the US apartment complexes and condos do have quiet time in the US. It isn't during the day but still there is a quiet time. Generally speaking a person who is going to be working from home can afford a tiny home out in the country. Since this is the case it's a choice to live in an apartment or condo. If you want quiet build a tiny home out in the wilderness (as I said before). I HATED that kids had to be quiet in Germany and Switzerland, but I respected it because renting isn't as much of a choice in Germany and Switzerland. Kids are loud, kids love to stomp, and they love to hear themselves make noise. This is plain and simple and kids need to be kids.
@@jessicaely2521 I know that it is normal that kids are louder but I think it is still the parents' responsibility to be considerate about the neighbours when you live in an apartment building. That does not mean that they have to be quiet all day. There is still the opportunity to go outside with the kids e.g. to one of the countless playgrounds in my neighbourhood and there is no need to stay inside the whole day. Also, it was very interesting that my neighbour's kids are able to be more quiet. At some point, the father changed his strategy from "my children are not noisy" to "I will to tell them to be more quiet at least for two hours a day" and voila it works. For a few weeks, I am able to work without interruption again. In my experience, many parents in Germany saying that children need to be children are just not willing enough to deal with the children. It is easy to have children but not to bring them up. As I said, most parents are NOT like my neighbours but it is a problem if you have those neighbours - even if you have own children. My best friend who is a mother of two couldn't believe how noisy my neighbour's kids were and told me she would go crazy. I think that there is also a cultural difference between the US and Germany. I experienced that people in the US are way louder than Germans. In Germany, people try to be more quiet in order not to disturb others. Even parents take care that their children are not too loud in public places which does not mean that Germans are monsters and will complain when a child gets a tantrum in a train or a restaurant. But it is common to take care that a child does not yell or stomp around for a longer period of time when you share a space with other people.
@@marieme5454 if you live in an area where you're working from home don't put yourself in the situation where you can be disturbed. You probably have the choice of living in a tiny home in the US. Leave the apartments for people who are working at McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. A good chunk of people who are working the fast food joints have children and don't have the choice to get a home. 10 pm to 7 am is quiet time. Kids being loud outside of these times you either have to put your big kid panties on and deal with it, get good noise canceling headphones (they really work), or get a home where it's you and only you. It's you're responsibility and only your responsibility to make yourself comfortable in an apartment outside of quiet time.
Do U.S. citizens generally have a different view of what the state's responsibilities are? I would be really interested to know why many US-Americans consider it interference when the state takes care of its inhabitants. I mean, the state is not a hostile association, after all. For me as a German, the state consists of its citizens and the politicians are employees of the people. For me, it is precisely the supreme task of the state to be there for its citizens. Can someone explain to me the thought process in America?
Well it depends on the political affiliation of the person. Conservatives want as little government help as possible. Basically just there to keep citizens safe, build and maintain the public infrastructure, and provide schools. They believe that if you’re poor, it’s all your fault. Liberals believe more like you - the state is not something hostile and can be there to help us in times or need as well as take care of basic needs. Liberals understand that poverty is not just the fault of the individual - it’s a very complex issue.
as a European who's very interested in american politics i say the most shocking thing is the abandonment of individuals. Our filosphy in Europe is that the state is a monster, but he`s less bad than all the other monster in society. the way the large American industries are allowed to prey on mostly defenceless individuals is mind boggling to us. the banks,oil companies,pharmaceutical and medical/insurance industries are allowed to get away with is unreal to us.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Wow, the idea that being poor is the poor person's fault is so Victorian, literally. This is the philosophy of the Workhouse and Oliver Twist.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I mean as seen with the opposition last infrastructure bill, the "law and order" crowd that basically is more interested in protecting property than civil rights across the board and the ongoing onslaught against public schools by prominent republican voices or political appointments like Betsy DeVos, even the few points mentioned are not really points many or sometimes even most conservatives fully stand behind. At least that's the impression I get.
Even though we do not have kids, I also have to say your videos makes me appreciate much more of what we have here. The "children in my live" have been my nephews, now 15 and 18 years old, and I would definitely say they had a happy childhood. My SIL is even a headmistress at a Gymnasium, so I have been in kind of close contact with that system, and I would definitely say that my nephews are very independent from an early age on. I would agree that walkability of a city is really important, not only for children, but also for elderly people and people who might not be able to use cars. They are excluded from so many parts of social live if a city is not walkable. Thanks a lot for your videos!
The core of the difference is already in the wording: In the USA, health care and all the amenities around child birth are a benefit, in Germany (and all other EU countries), they are a right. The effect is clear: infant mortality rate in the USA is double of that in most European countries, and life expectancy is around three years lower in the States.
Yes!! Infant and maternal mortality rights are higher in the USA than in most other industrialized nations. WHAT?! That shouldn't be so for such a rich country. But yes you make such a good point that in Germany, health care and benefits for families are considered a right. It's a HUGE difference between the two countries.
You can't use infant mortality rate as a comparison of if a country is better or not. Infant mortality is from some number when you're pregnant to age 1. Most countries report infant mortality at different stages. Some countries might say infant mortality counting starts at birth where other countries says it starts at 2 weeks after the egg is fertilized. If the US had their way infant mortality rate would start when the egg is fertilized. My sister-in-law lost her baby when she was pregnant. My sister-in-law was 4.9 months into her pregnancy. My sister-in-law had all of the prenatal care that any EU country gives their citizens. She lost the baby because she got pneumonia. The only way for my sister-in-law to have the best chances to survive was by delivering the baby. If her baby was born a week later her baby would have survived. Her baby is counted as part of the infant mortality rate. You also have to take into consideration birth defects that isn't caused by not having prenatal care. I lost a baby because the heart didnt grow. I had all of the prenatal care you can imagine. My baby counted against infant mortality. Zika (a mosquito disease) can cause a mother to lose a baby. Europe doesn't have Zika yet. They also probably never will get Zika. Zika takes hold in tropical and subtropical environments. European countries arent tropical or subtropical (yet. You never know what will happen with global warming). Most of the countries in Euope don't have the climate for Zika to take hold. You have to take into account SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) into account. No amount of prenatal or postnatal care can prevent this yet. Australia has found the reason for SIDS. It's an enzyme that babies lack. Now comes the research into why this enzyme is lacking, can you test for it while baby is in the womb, and can you fix it while baby is in or out of womb. The US has a higher rate of babies dying from SIDS than Germany
@@jessicaely2521 It's not true that countries define child mortality differently, since this is a definition by the UN, not by individual countries. Where did you get this from? Child mortality is the mortality of children under the age of five, according to the WHO. The child mortality rate, refers to the probability of dying between birth and exactly five years of age per 1,000 *_live births,_* according to UNICEF. The latter organisation also tracks number of stillbirths (after the 28th week of pregnancy), neonatal mortality rate for mortality in the first month after birth, infant mortality rate for children under one year of age, and adolescent mortality rate of children between the age of 10 to 19. There is no official UN statistics covering the loss of unborns in the first 28 weeks of pregnancy.
Wie have a saying in Germany (well, I think it actually originated in Africa, but we readily adopted it): "Um ein Kind aufzuziehen, braucht es ein ganzes Dorf." - "To raise a child, you need a whole village." It is just naturally to look out for children you encounter, even if they aren't your own. Recently I was waiting in line at a ice parlour and one father had one child with him and the other was waiting in the seat on the bike. He kept looking at the child he left outside, but eventually the line moved forward enough that he had to go in and place his order. Pretty much everyone in line kept their eyes on the child for him until he was done automatically.
Your comments about the bible belt in USA made me feel really sad for the families who are let alone with their problems. I am already a grandma and when I had my first baby in 68 there was no real help yet for a young family as there exists fortunatelly today. Only with my third daughter in 1980 I could take 6 months Elternzeit without a loss of my salary. But I was really a lucky young girl because my mom- she raised me alone- could send me to the Gymnasium as school fees had been abandoned and for my studies I got financial help - a scholarship. I am deeply aware that only with this government support I could make my career later on in life. When my husband and I lived for 13 years in SOUTH AMERICA with 2 daughters we had to struggle to pay for school and university. All the children in the world who cannot get a qualified education are a loss for their societies, a loss for humanity . I wish you and your children all the best.
Yes!! This is the case for most mothers - "I am deeply aware that only with this government support I could make my career later on in life." Most mothers cannot have the careers they want without good paid maternal and paternal leave.
This is exactly what I experienced. My son was born in the US and I was so afraid that my son would not survive school when and was constantly watching him because I was afraid that he would be kidnapped. Even after I came back to Germany it took me quite some time to calm down and realize that he is safe here.
Thank you so much for this video. I spent one year as exchange Student in the US (Utah) and after your video I finally Unterstand some parental things of my foster parents so much better. Thank you for all the videos you share. You Open the eyes of so many. Thank you♥️
Oh yes! My daughter has been in Alaska for a year and she felt too much regulated. And that car thing. Always had to ask someone to take her sonewhere. Never were allowed to walk alone. But: she was very happy with the school! She missed the nice, young teachers and classes she could take (pottery, photography...), the high standard of gymnastics, the choir; when she were back. These are all issues in Germany: too less, too old teachers, arts and sport shortened. And she missed the landscape, of course.
the percentage and duration of fathers taking paternal leave is getting better, it’s also getting accepted more in the work environment. But as t’s still usually the man earning a higher wage than the woman in a relationship, and as the money you get during parental leave is a percentage of your actual salary (simply put), it’s still more economical for the father to stay home less time than the mother
In Quebec, Canada, women get a year, paid maternity leave with their jobs guaranteed upon their return. There is even an option to stay home for another 6 months. Daycare can cost as little as $7 per day, spaces permitting.
My mom always told us, that when she was in the U.S. as an AuPair in 1961 !!, in a family with four Kids, spanking was absolutely taboo. Her own experience was quite different. She learned from her hosts: „Beating a Child causes broken glas, on which you will get your fingers cut, later on, when you have to pick it up“. We grow up that way. Never got beaten. Neither our own kids. And quite sure not our granddaughter. So we learned it from an family of Saddle River, NJ. Isn‘t it amazing, how 4 generations are influenced by just one international exchange? Herzlichen Dank für Eure tollen und interessanten Videos. LG
Your comparisons of life in Germany vs the US are really enlightening! But sadly, anyone who might propose these kinds of changes to life in America would be demonized and labeled as a communist. Thanks for providing me with my weekly dose of optimism!
Yes that is why the USA stays stuck in the past and isn't moving forward with the rest of the industrialized world in some areas. The Cold War so deeply embedded this idea that any system that supports its citizens is related to communism. So instead of finding a middle ground, like so many countries in Europe have, the USA abandons taking care of its citizens all together. In English we have a saying - "you're cutting off your nose to spite your face." In other words, in trying to help yourself you actually hurt yourself and make things a lot worse.
It must also be remembered that every state depends on children being born. The state benefits from the birth of a child who, as an adult, takes up a profession, buys goods from the money earned and pays taxes. Only with births can a state function in the long term. Children are our future and, of course, the future of a state.
You should visit Leipzig! The train station is the biggest in Europe (by area) - for your kids the zoo in Leipzig is world famous. AND if you want some history just visit "The monument of the battle of the nations" = Völkerschlachtdenkmal. Leipzig is definitely a town to consider to have a visit! =D
Did you know that in Germany there’s even a law that children have to help in the household of their parents? See paragraph 1619 of the BGB (Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch): “§ 1619 Services in the home and business. As long as the child is a member of the parental household and is brought up or maintained by the parents, he or she shall be obliged to render services to the parents in their household and business in a manner appropriate to his or her strength and position in life.” I printed that one out and put it on the fridge door to refer on it whenever my children refuse to do minor jobs in our household… 😜😜😜
Same here. The thing is, you probably wouldn't be able to sue your kids on this. Resp. If you do, it'd be not enforceable. So, even if you'd win at the court, nobody would be coming over to make your kid clean their room, set the table and put their dirty laundry away.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife „The provision on the obligation of children to cooperate under family law was originally classified in the Civil Code as § 1617. With the reform of non-marital law, it moved to the place of the vacated § 1619 on July 1, 1970.“ Background: In the early 20th century, the § 1617 had important practical consequences because it established that the child's earnings in the household and business of the parents accrued directly to the parents without first becoming the property of the child. Due to economic, social, and cultural changes, the importance of the duty to cooperate has since declined significantly.
@@e.l.l.y. Love this one by the German paper “Die Zeit”: Education by threat of legal action How the Civil Code can help parents By Til Knipper Admittedly, as a childless, 26-year-old single man, I'm not exactly predestined to give parents parenting tips, but as a qualified lawyer, I can point to a provision from the German Civil Code that could make life easier for many parents: Section 1619 of the German Civil Code. According to this provision, "as long as a child belongs to the parental household and is brought up and maintained by the parents, he or she is obliged to render services to the parents in their household and business in a manner appropriate to his or her strength and position in life". How many annoying discussions could parents save themselves by pointing out this rule? The daughter doesn't want to clean up her room - threat to sue her. The lawn seems a bit too high to you again - perhaps your son can be persuaded by § 1619 to take the annoying mowing job off your hands. You would like to have a cold beer, but you would have to fetch it from the basement - § 1619. The dishwasher would have to be cleaned out again and the bathroom and kitchen could be cleaned - § 1619. The list could be continued indefinitely. One might now object that a lawsuit within the family could temporarily strain domestic coexistence. This is probably true. The enforceability of a judgment that has been obtained could also prove difficult, as shrewd legal experts will point out. But as a rule, one will not have to go that far. An appropriate threat, supported by the relevant provision, will convince the offspring to help out in the household. Anyone who thinks this is modern slavery is unaware of what happens to children who have everything taken away from them at home. Such spoiled brats become nest stools who would prefer to stay at "Hotel Mum" for the rest of their lives. Personal responsibility, a skill that can't be learned early enough these days, is a foreign word to them. Don't you think? I can only recommend the French film "Tanguy - the couch potato ", in which director Etienne Chatilliez takes a comedic look at the phenomenon of pushing the "hospitality" of parents to the limit in a cost-saving way. In any case, my children get § 1619 BGB framed and hung above the bed at birth, so that they know right away how the wind blows... 😂😂😂😂
Now that I'm watching your video for the second time to translate it for my sister, I can think of an old German idiom that is wonderfully applicable to you McFalls (and in this case especially to kevin!): when you think positively of something or someone If you are surprised or amazed you say: "Old Swede! Have fun googling where that came from and have a pleasant holiday! Michael/Hanover
@28:31 I'm sorry but this topic is too "generalized". California is NOT that way...and also Germany is not always that patient with kids as you make it seem...Maybe in the cute affluent town you live in but, come on guys it would be nice if you didn't make it seem as if Germany is this flawless country. Not cool, sorry. Also I think it's time for you guys to visit not so nice places in good old Germany and meet people who are not that "nice" and where parents say this too "you are getting a whoopin'...". I seriously don't understand why you guys are putting the US down so much...Children are getting hit and abused here too. Gosh I'm super upset right now...I could go on and on, but it's too early.
Things are different in California than they are in the rest of the USA, that's for sure. We aren't trying to say that Germany is flawless, obviously no country is flawless and we say that in the video. On these particular matters, we do feel Germany is doing a better job that in the USA. We didn't say everything Germany does is better, just these 9 things. And these are very important points - 131 other countries in the world offer guaranteed paid maternity leave and the USA has nothing. As a mother I can tell you that even this one point can change our lives as women. It's a BIG big deal. That is not overgeneralising things - it's a fact.
That was sooo interesting, but also really shocking what you told about the circumstances in the USA. This stranger danger thing, the fear of kidnapping, learning to react to shooting in schools, physical violence to children like spanking or even whooping or with a belt. 😱 I was totally shocked! And no paid parental leave, no family discounts, no Kindergeld, no interesting adventure play grounds , no free space to move around independently.... Poor American children! Instead of this there often is permanent surveillance/monitoring by helicopter parents and pedagogues, too much time used with digital media, too little time outside, lack of exercise, completely unhealthy food and obesity. Sounds like a nightmare. You did the right thing by immigrating to Europe. Seems to be much better here.
Yes it’s sad! But I do want to say that children do have green spaces and nice playgrounds and parks in the USA, too. Many do live in nice homes with a garden, so they have space to run and play in their own neighborhoods. I apologize if we have a different impression. But as for the school shootings and spankings…
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Of course American children have much more space at home in the gardens of their Einfamilienhäuser. We don't have this so much here, but still much more than e.g. in Eastern Europe/Russia or China with a lot more urbanization and very high buildings. Even here in Germany it's not everywhere so idyllic and peaceful as in your sweet little Bavarian town. You have made a wonderful choice when looking for a new family home! 👍
The "eye doctor" - is not the person fixing the glasses, that is not the Augenarzt, that is the Optiker. The eye-doctor is the one who checks on the eyes and prescribes the glasses. Not where you get the new lenses/ glasses.
Yes that is correct - just faster in a video to say that. However, this lady we go to does check the children's eyes and prescribes glasses, and she sells the frames and lenses that we buy.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Der Optiker (Apollo, Fielmann Runke usw.) the can do that...but the need a Rezept 📝. Ein guter Optiker 🥸 kontrolliert all again and misst den Augenabstand 🤓👀,stellt "the glasses 👓 self in/ ein.
Please don't get Sarah wrong, though: Germany is not the Garden of Eden for young families altogether. We've still a lot of work to do - and many of the very progressive thinkers fail to understand that the objective of raising kids must still be to make them fit for society - and no selfish, entitled little princes and princesses with an attention span on the atomar frequency level. Still, of all the bad models in the world, Germany is at least trying to improve - which I really don't see in the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
The one thing America need to change is political not doable: A complete overhaul of the voting system and the way political parties are funded. Let's say, you need to take out money out of politics. What you need to understand all over Europe politics are not privately funded. America is only privately funded, what is more, a business, even a public business, and use their money to skew politics. I can't make that more clear. Politics with two parties only, and privately funded by Business Interests, automatically leads to business taking all. The American Dream is exactly that, a Dream... not the reality. Nothing will change until you do. And that means you are going to stay in Germany.
I couldn't agree more - the two-party political system is really reaching is breaking point in the USA. They desperately need more parties and completely overhaul campaign finances. As it is now, politicians are slaves to big businesses and anyone with enough money to make them do their bidding. They do not serve the needs of the people anymore - they are not public servants. They are corporate slaves.
Just a technical thing: When you're in the "two people in front of camera talking" setup, I think you should mix the mic audio input to a mono track in the editing process, as you get weird effects when one of the mics is being positioned partly behind some "obstacle" like a shoulder or a fold in the clothing ,or when it's catching more from what's also on the other mic's channel. It then feels like something got stuffed into the viewers ear. When Kevin turns his head towards your mic it suddenly sounds fully stereo, and when he turns back to look into the camera, on channel drops off dramatically. Best would be if you'd have ONE more "pro" mic standing or hanging at the camera position, right underneath the lens. So mix them both together into one channel and make that appear on both left and right final audio channels.
I'm honestly so shocked about the spanking in the US. I have been to the US so often, but have never even considered that it is still normal there in order to raise or educate a child. Here in Germany it's a sign of weakness if that's the only way you can teach your child. It's so off limits. Yelling is similarly unpopular. Parents might get impatient and will have a word with their children about proper behaviour, but just yelling (as in verbal abuse) is so extremely shocking if witnessed. But I guess if you live in a society where you constantly have to hustle in order to live, there's just no time to teach children in a peaceful manner.
You hit the nail on the head with that last sentence - "when you have to hustle in order to live." And that is the prevailing energy there. We feel such a big difference here in Germany. People still work hard here, but when they are off of work, they are off. And they a right to time off. Germans work hard but also take their time off seriously. There's a much better work/life balance here and parents can be less stressed, so less yelling. And I so agree with you that spanking our children really reflects badly on the parents. That we have so little skills to work with a very small person that we must resort to violence? We are the ones with fully developed brains who know how to behave - the responsibility is on US as the adults, not the kids.
Spanking is getting less and less normal. Any kind of punishment towards your child is frowned upon from many parents nowadays. I talked about putting my daughter in a cool down area for 2 minutes at a parenting group and parents there flipped out. Apparently sending your kid to an area to cool down damages children mentally.
I'm curious (and maybe also a little to lazy to google it right now upsi) about the opening times of your kita. Bc I heard that in the former west Germany it's a joke meaning they only open a few hours and close around 12.30. Is that true in your own experience in Bavaria? (I mean you're lucky to have one parent being able to work from home but how do parents of other families are even able to work, it sounds impossible that both parents can work) So I'm from east Germany thus having both parents work full-time was an absolute usual thing throughout the ddr period which influenced our working culture till today. Our kitas here (over generalized, ofc there are always exceptions) usually open at around 7:00 Uhr (some rarely kitas even 6.30, a few also a little later at 7.30) and they close at around 16.30-17.00. So if these short short kinda ridiculous opening times in the south west are actually true... I'm flabbergasted. Other than that have a relaxing Sunday : )
For families with low income there is also the option of getting a special ticket from the city or county. This ticket guarantees free entrance to some attractions and museums as well as public pools. And nearly every sports club and a lot of summer camps have a "Förderverein" that pays the fees, trainings and equipment for children when their families can't afford it.
My parents (and yours?) had to learn to take cover in school due to the threat of Japan bombing us. My parents promised us that we wouldn't have to suffer through a nuclear war because we lived so close to Boeing, we'd be the first to go and (South) Seattle would have no survivors. That was a great comfort to us kids. (Not)
Yeah good point! And if children are ever going to be under threat, it should be because it comes from another country and NOT from their fellow citizens. The whole thing is insane - it’s gone way too far and common sense is not being used.
I don't know if there's law about that, but no one would call the police on neighbours having sex (unless they are a real jerk) in Germany. It's a difference if someone is having a party too loud that might go on for hours or if someone is enjoying themselves too much. Let's be honest, they are probably done after 20 minutes, unless they are really lucky. ;)
Its funny how you say "middle class families". In Ireland and i think alot of Europe we dont consider "class". That is a very american thing. Due to the benefits you mention in Europe - it does away with a class system in society because everyone is more equal
Looking not all that far back, the situation for parenting was not great at all in West Germany. Much better in the East, actually. After 1989, the birth rate became so low that the policies you are mentioning such as parental leave were introduced despite a lot of resistance especially from Bavarian politicians.
Importantly, since 2000 under German child protection laws also psychological violence like shaming and threatening is illigal. § 1631 BGB: "Children have the right to a non-violent upbringing. Physical punishment, mental injuries and other degrading measures are not permitted"
Even better! What an awesome law. How is it enforced? Because the kids have had a harsh teacher or two here in school in Germany who say things like - you're a disappointment - when their homework isn't finished. Those kinds of comments are so harmful and totally unnecessary.
Listening to your video it's even harder to bear that so many Germans are complaining about everything and how awful life is here in this country. It always makes me so angry. So your perspective is really eye opening.
Yes and some really like to comment that we are making Germany seem too perfect. Hahaha, can't win on RUclips! We understand that NO country is perfect, that's impossible. But Germany is a great country and there is a lot for Germans to be very proud of here.
It's important to keep fighting. So much has changed for the better in the last ten years alone, but i wouldn't have if people were compliant. When my child was little the age you could claim a Kindergartenplatz was 3, which made it really hard to find a job or get back to work. And that's really not that long ago. We still put mothers at a disadvantage regarding their career and retirement provision! We still struggle with educational equity! The statistics for academic success of working class children are still terrible.
Well, I took one year off after our son was 1 year old. The first year i worked, the second my wife. In diesem zweiten Lebensjahr war ich Hausmann, 24 stunden für meinen Sohn da. Heute ist mein Sohn 21 Jahre alt und wir haben eine wundervolle beziehung, obwohl die EHE lange geschieden ist. VÄTER! Es bringt Euch nicht nur näher zu Euren Kindern, sondern lässt Euch in demut erstarren vor der Arbeit die "Hausfrauen" leisten...
Ich liebe eure Videos, denn sie rücken meine Ansichten und Selbstverständlichkeiten immer wieder ins rechte Licht. Aber ich muss es einfach erwähnen: auch in Deutschland passieren schlimme Dinge und nicht jeder Fremde ist ein Freund. Even though my englishteacher used to say: a stranger is a friend you haven´t met.
I just talked with my husband how much being a child in Germany has changed since we were children in the 70s. Note: I come from the Rhine-Rhur-area…not a cozy village like yours. 😉 I hardly see younger children playing outside without parents around. We played outside with our friends until we had to go to dinner. Lots of people bring their children to primary school and then stand outside watching them until they go into their classes. My mother walked one or two times with me, then I had to show her the way on my own and I went to school alone (same for my classmates). Even though it is not as bad as in the States I see that children have less opportunities today just to be children (without parents hanging around all the time) and to be independent than it was in my childhood. When I was a child we simply went to the house where our friends lived, rang the bell and asked whether they can come out playing. Today parents have to make appointments with each other for play dates. I know times change, but I really wish todays children would have more opportunities for independence and we would allow them to make their own experience….including failure. But nevertheless it is nice that you appreciate the benefits Germany has for families. What is most shocking for me about the States is your health care system. It is unbelievable that something essential like health care depends on the company you work for and is not the same for everyone.
Yeah after seeing how well universal healthcare can work in so many other countries, it’s ridiculous that so many are still afraid of it. The Cold War had a huge impact on that - it made Americans so afraid of anything that seems like socialism - even the things that are good. And what they still don’t realize is these things are socialism at all, but a social democracy. Totally different!!
Just FYI FMLA is only for people who work for companies with at least 50 employees, and only if you have worked in the job for at least a year (not 100% sure about the year mark, but there is a time)... And btw all that you talked is about the selfishness and individualism of American society... Yes I know not everyone is like that, but overall the mentality is "you had kids, why should my taxes help you"... As if kids aren't the future of the country, and raising them well doesn't benefit all of us! Same with healthcare, "why should my taxes pay for your medications", without realizing all of us will need healthcare at one point or another 🤦🏻♀️
Yes exactly! You’re so right about the mindset. It’s very short-sighted and individualistic. And yes - the FMLA is only for those working in companies of 50 or more people. It’s so basic of a law it’s barely helpful.
Aber Deine Ausbildung in den USA und das Gebiet in dem Du arbeitest macht Dich sowohl in den USA als auch in Deutschland zu einem privilegierten Bürger. Alleinerziehende mit nur einem Highschool Abschluss oder in Deutschland in Hauptschulabschluss haben auch hier große Probleme sich selbst und das Kind zu versorgen. Gerade Mieten in Frankfurt, München, Berlin und Hamburg so hoch, dass es nicht möglich ist als Verkäuferin eine Wohnung mit 2-3 Zimmer zu mieten. Hier muss der Staat oft helfen.
Grewing up in the mid 90s in Germany everyone tells you: "Oh, America is a great country. You can reach everything" and during the last 10 years I realized that this is just a dream they teach people in the US, to not recognize that they live in one of the socialy poorest countries in the world. I also never thought about all these things the state gives us mothers by law in Germany until I became a mother myself 5 years ago. But it is true, this is very welcoming.
I've watched some videos on helicopter parenting and that in the states neighbours stateside can report you to child protection services if you let your kids play unattended on the front garden. How crazy is that? People seem to be so worried about security and kids possibly gettin abducted. It hasn't necessarily gotten more dangerous, but in this social media day and age where everything gets posted, re-posted and shared people perceive the danger as very extreme. What a life we had as kids, running around the streets, into the fields and forests and we knew to be back home when it got dark or at a certain time. But these days also in Germany parents are constantly hovering above their kids like a hen sitting atop of her chicks. I've also watched some videos about some Canadian guy and he was on about the zoning of cities over there compared to Europe, there was hardly any mixed use zoning aka having a supermarket within a housing estate or schools, so one needs a car for everything and kids cannot walk to school or anywhere else on their own. Regarding the prices and reductions of prices my granny always told me that back in the 50's and 60's big families like them (5 kids) always got free passes to the zoo or local swimming pool and that even more was done for families with kids. "Stranger danger"also exists in Germany where you are being taught to be careful with strangers and not go with anyone, even if they are offering you sweets or puppies or whatever
Sunday morning. Time for enlarging my personal horizon. On a very uncommon but entertaining way 👍😄. Thank you for coming to Germany and for your ongoing stories on your YT channel !
Paternal leave is definitely taken in the Province of Quebec, Canada. This varies from province to province, but Quebec is likely the most progressive and currently has the most affordable child care. As a result, very few mothers quit their job in the province of Quebec. Thankfully, this system is now being spread to the entire country.
In the UK as a teacher or healthcare professional you can have a yr off for maternity leave with 6 months full pay. But childcare is ridiculously expensive. Wish we were still in Europe 😢
We try to help the children to do the right thing because they know it is right. You reach this much better without spanking but if you use other means to help children to behave properly.
You are so right - and we didn’t even think about that as we said it!! This is how normal gun violence has become in the US. So normal that regular shootings aren’t a bad thing anymore.
Omg Germany is great for children! Some of your points are blowing my mind. Makes me really think twice about raising kids here in America. I recently acquired Austrian citizenship, so this is actually a possibility for me. Thanks for making a great video.
I more and more realize how lucky we are in Germany when it comes to raising kids. We use to complain so often but we should be grateful for what is good and improve what could be better. But to add my 2 cents on this discussion: think one reason reason why we have this support system for parents and families (at least financially spoken) in the end also is due to the „Rentensystem“ (pension system) which is built on the fact that children are needed to keep it running.
In Switzerland you get much less. And that is a new law. On the other hand, you pay much more taxes then in Switzerland. so there is a pro / con...it is def. more social in germany. In Switzerland ab big word ist "Selbstverantwortung": Furhter, we have privat have child care support only. Very expensive - erverybody pays the same, rich / poor....Germans want everything to be organized by the govnerment. We dont.
I think it's interesting that you pay a lot more taxes in Switzerland but have less social benefits than in Germany. What are your taxes providing for you?
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife we do NOT pay more taxes in Switzerland then in Germany. Muss less actually. „Normal“ families pay 1/10th of the annual income..
I've been fox hunting once and now I'm married! Haha! Actually no joke as the lastname of my wife was "Fuchs" - until we married! :-) So actually: "Foxy Lady" XD
Re: Spanking - my parents never spanked us in the moment we were misbehaving, they told us we'd crossed the line and at 6 PM or whatever we'd be getting a spanking. They didn't want to do it while angry at us. We didn't need many spankings, the possibility of it occuring kept us in line. SOOO glad I'll never have to deal with that myself, I'm sure I wouldn't have the self control to keep it together with a tantruming kid.
I too think children should be allowed to be what they are in public.That loud and playful bunch... Most of the time i wont even consider this "noise" and it will rather make me smile than feel disturbed. But i must say... I've found myself in situations where i thought "why are these parents not even trying to tell their kids that (for example) they are not the only people in this restaurant?" I mean my parents as children were expected to keep their mouths shut at the table at all times and i think that was wrong. But on the other hand i think children have to learn that there are other people around who might want to enjoy their meal, their flight or whatever in a calm atmosphere. And i'm sure children are capable of understanding this.
Yeah I agree - kids playing outside is totally appropriate. But inside a store or restaurant, or even on a train, we still ask our kids to be calm and if they can’t be calm, we go walk around with them outside until they get some energy out. I don’t want my children to disturb an adult’s nice, relaxing dinner. So the respect goes both ways and there is a happy medium, I think.
I do not know about the US, but I was really astonished in the UK. In our hotel children were not allowed to go to the pool in certain hours. Reason: Not to bother adult guests. This would not be possible in Germany.
Oh interesting! There are adult swim times at neighborhood pools in the US, which were very hard to wait through as a kid. But also a good time to go to the toilet or eat a snack. 😆
Natürlich gibt es das schon lange. Finde ich auch gut. Kinder sind nun mal laut das ist völlig normal. Deshalb gibt es auch eigene Kinderpools und Kinderhotels wo Erwachsene UND Kinder betreut werden. Kevin und Sarah waren schon zweimal in so einem Hotel in Galtür und am Achensee und sie waren so begeistert dass sie sogar Videos hochgeladen haben.
@@alluresoftheseas2999 I have four children and I am also a sports teacher and I have never seen that children are excluded. But of course you cant swim if there are special events. Does make sense.
@@ingevonschneider5100 generally speaking you're 100% right but we indeed have some specific assigned,, no children areas" here in Germany too. But these places are obvious signed to adults and are usually things like adult hotels or areas which are inappropriate for children to walk around after 10p.m
What a lot of US public pools do is they have 5 minutes every hour where kids aren't allowed in the pool. This is to give lifeguards a break and see the bottom of the pool without splashing, waves, kids being thrown, etc. It also gives adult patrons a break from children. Now for hotels some hotel pools have an adult only pool and a kid only pool. The adult only pool sometimes has a bar and sometimes a top less area. Yes some areas and people in the US aren't afraid of nudity. Only giant resorts like Margaritaville Hotel will have thr kid and adult pools. Hotels like Motel 6 won't have separate pools and they don't have a certain time when kids can't swim. They generally stay open late (1 am) so naturally kids aren't swimming. *
Regarding the noise restrictions: They used to apply to children, too. We weren't allowed to play outside between 12 and 14:30, and not after 7. (That was in the 70's) My mother in-law in France was always embarrassed about how loud my children were outside in her garden. They were just used to the fact that it was okay to play like they wanted to. German children are more independent, that is true. In French supermarkets my kids would enjoy having their own miniature cart and occasionally cruise over to the next aisle, whereas the French children would hold on to Mommy's cart. And on class trips French students always nicely stay together as a group, whereas the German students run off all the time because "they had just had to do something really quick" (usually to buy food). And as a teacher in the US, you think three times about doing a class trip, because of the legal responsibility involved.
I think it is very sad to see that you feel you have to duck down, daring to mention that gunviolence and therefore gunavailability in general in the US may be directly connected to the safety of your children. I think this is telling a lot about the situation. Sad but true.😔
It is true that the mother’s job is protected by law and this is fantastic…on paper. What happens in reality is that the mother’s job sometimes does not exist anymore when she is ready to return to the working force. It has been filled by an other person or the company has restructured. While the company is required by law to employ the mother again they often give the mother a new job which is often less appealing. This is not allowed by law but still happens. Or they offer the mother a severance package and don’t employ her again at all. Afterwards it is hard to apply for a job at a new company because you have this huge gap in your resume and a young child at home which of course means that you will miss work in the near future because of sick days. The law is great on paper but mothers often have to fight for it.
I am wondering if you would be willing to make a video about the whole firearms rights and violence topic with the emphasis on the US society and why there is almost no will to something about it. I think your point of view on the topic is particularly interesting because you have lived in the US and now live in Europe to compare both.
That would be a fascinating video to do. It’s such a hot topic in the US and gun rights activists could really attack our video, so honestly, km afraid to talk about it! But it’s insane - the school shooting in Texas was the 200th mass shooting in 2022. What?! Democrats have been trying hard to make change happen when it comes to gun regulation and they are stopped by Republicans every time. The NRA has a LOT of power. It’s scary.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife it’s obviously a sensitive topic, that’s why I was wondering if you would even consider to tackle the topic. It’s kind of the discussion about the speed limit here in Germany where there a many people opposed to it (me included) where those who want to keep the status quo (at least from my perception) argue with the same passion as the gun advocates. That would be kind of a fair point, but the designed purpose of fast driving cars is not to harm somebody, to provide some analogy. What kind of attacks do you expect?
The most important recource Germany has are good trained and healthy people. Germany was going, like northern countries, a way away from totally exploiting workers. The US is still on hire and fire and all things are moneytized. So, the pressure on people is very high to get the next Dollar out of desparity to pay for their needs. Capitalism, let us call what it is, in Germany is different when it comes to how it approaches people. The old way, where capitalism wears workers out until they break, was considered as not effective anymore. And it is not! Healthy and "happy" worker/people are much more productive in the long run. Workers often stay with their company a whole work-life. And the state makes sure that kids are cared for from young age. Is this system improveable, of course! But as a concept as such is much more preferable than that aggressive exeptionalism in the US, for sure. And it is not like so that people in Germany are pampered and supposed to sleep in a social care "Hängematte". Some Amerikans may think so, but that is not the case! I hope the US get finally a grip on these things and improve its social care and workers rights, as it was going once in the 30th til the 50th. It was once a shining light, but neoliberal exceptionalism destroyed these efforts.
Loved everything you wrote! Especially that last sentence - “neoliberal exceptionalism” and an unhealthy relationship with capitalism are really bringing American down. We have a phrase in English - and your English is excellent so you probably already know it - “pride comes before the fall.” And the arrogance that’s in the US will be their downfall if they don’t turn it around.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Oh, thank you very much! 🤗 Yes, you're right with your thoughts! I think it's a dangerous situation in the US, because it lays the ground for extremism like we already see. All this could lead to the worst, because certain groups and politicians take advantage of desperate people. Thank you for saying my English is good 😃, I actually had no English in school and learned it by myself when listening to only English contents on RUclips 😆. I have still to learn grammar and words used to describe certain topics. I made still mistakes, but yeah I'm comfort in listening and understanding, writing not so much. And I'm a middle aged guy who needs some time to get "it". 🙄😅. I love your views, not because you're highlighting Germany, but because you even see the need for improvements. You two are a bit exeptional for a US couple, I must say. I love your contents, it's refreshing to listen to you both! I hope you get more and more comfort living in a cultural different country with people with different mindsets. It's not every time a pleasure approaching Germans, I know that. Your kids will grow in it anyway. So, have fun here in Germany and don't let you get down by the obstacles you certainly will face over time here in Germany. You certainly are a enrichment for our society!!
There was a time when the US led the world in democracy and people flocked there because of it. But then after WWII, Europe drastically changed and began progressing faster than the US. Now the US has a lot of catching up to do, if they will ever do it, I’m not sure…
First off: great video as always. Wonderful intro, beautiful blooms, lovely scenes. I don't want to rain on your parade but Germany, while 'nominally' secular, has strong Christian traditions. Yes, in many areas a woman becoming a mother still is expected to become a homemaker, taking care of the children, as per certain biblical traditions. The more rural the areas the more 'traditional conservative' these societal norms still are. But that has become less and less the norm. Now it is more a 'choose your life' situation. That does not mean that EVERY woman will be able to retain her job, if she is unable to find sufficient childcare in her area should she want to return to her job after her parental leave and mother's protection time is over. The number of KiTa spaces for kids are, unfortunately, somewhat limited. Which is often criticized by local parties in (county) election run-ups/ Gemeindewahlen, often rightly so. But in many areas it will be possible, after some serious searching, to find a KiTa place for your kids in case you want to work again. While the KiTas are not free they are still a lot more affordable than in the USA. Moose hunting during paternal leave, lol 😂 Nope, foxes are more or less a protected species in Germany. Wild boar hunting more likely, followed fairly close by deer. Deutsche Bahn offers family tickets, including up to four kids up to the age of 14 in them for free with the Super Sparpreis PER TICKET, if they are accompanied by a care-giver of at least age 15 (who has to pay the ticket price). So with two parents paying the ticket price, you could have up to eight children up to the age of 14 traveling for free in the DB. Agreed, that limits the parents and kids to take EXACTLY that train, not be fully flexible in their choice of trains, but heck, with a plane that's ALWAYS the deal. Kids up to and including the age of 5 are always free. If you intend to take the train inside Germany more than twice, anywhere, it is recommendable to get the Bahncard 25 or 50, which is on top of the lower price of the Super Sparpreis tickets. The saying goes in German "Es braucht ein Dorf, um Kinder groß zu bekommen." / "It requires a village to raise kids." That's pretty much the idea behind Germany. You CAN'T possibly do EVERYTHING on your own, raising your kids. You can't (and shouldn't) supervise your kids 24/7. While others should not interfere in your style of raising your kids, they should offer help, and even take care of kids if they are unsupervised. Not intrusively, but just with a watchful eye, from the distance, they should be available should help be required. But still let kids make their own choices, even possibly get hurt when falling. Without minor accidents kids won't learn to respect true dangers, nor will they be able to detect a true danger if they never faced even the most minor dangers. Yes, nobody wants children to be hurt seriously, not even Germans. But we (or at least many) accept that a childhood without scraped knees, or a bloody nose, a few splinters, maybe even a minor fracture, wasn't a childhood; it was a constrictive gilded cage with cotton wool swaddling. Kids are actually a LOT tougher than many adults give them credit for. Hehe, that sex at night with accompanying noise: first off, kudos that you've become so Germanized that you have no (or so little) qualms talking about sex on a public video. You are getting there. I've had that experience not as a participant, but as a listener in Düsseldorf. It was a hot, a sweltering hot, summer's night, everybody in the apartment block had their windows open to get even the slightest draft of cool air. When around 11 pm / 23 Uhr a couple quite obviously had good, long sex, with an obviously very satisfactory ending around midnight. The noises bounced back and forth through the back courtyard, giving everyone full audio participation. Judging by the noise source it had to be on the fourth of fifth floor. Nobody shouted out for quiet, but somebody next morning gave the only known couple in that block from the fourth floor a good-natured wink, and a thumbs up; much to their embarassment, I suppose. I don't know about actual laws, but I suppose the cops would not do anything, really, unless it was a constant, late night occurence with high audio levels. BTW: kudos, your German pronunciation is getting better and better. See, didn't we all tell you? It will take time and practice, but you WILL eventually get there. German is not a simple language to learn, and all (reasonable) Germans appreciate the effort it takes to get into it. Keep it up! 👍
Besides Parental or Maternal Leave what I think is really important to mention is the "Mutterschutz", Maternity Protection. In this time a pregnant woman is not even allowed to work, she is supposed to rest. I think it starts 4 weeks before the due date and ends 4 weeks after the birth (and then for most women Maternal Leave will start) with 100% pay. I was shook when my american hostmom told me, that her water broke while she was working. We do have the "Vätermonate", Fathermonths. 2 Months of Paternity Leave that can only be taken by the fathers to encourage them to use some of the Paternity Leave and as far as I have seen most fathers take those 2 months but not more. It is getting more and more normal for fathers to take a couple of months, maybe even half a year, but I would say that still in most families the mother will take a year and the father only the extra two months. But in general I get the impression that german fathers are a lot more involved in their childrens lives then most american fathers. Interesting thing about glasses for kids: I actually got all glasses free until I was 18. The lenses were paid by insurance and the frame was free for kids in the shop we used to buy my glasses. And about places being walkable: I totally agree. I´m German and I lived in Texas as an Au Pair. And not only did it annoy me that I was dependent on a car, the fact that the children were dependent on an adult wit a car absolutely made clear to me, that I would not like to raise a child there. There is actualy a really great RUclips Channel called "Not Just Bikes". It´s a Canadian guy who moved to the Netherlands. He mostly talks about infrastructure but also other things that just work better in the Netherlands. A lot of those things are simular to how it´s done in Germany (although the Dutch are always a little better then we are :D). I really would like a video where you talk about the things you think are better (for kids) in the US. I didn´t want to seem that negative in my comment, but there actually isn´t really anything that comes to my mind.
Yeah we do mention Mutterschutz in the next video, but I didn’t know that about the two months of paternity leave! That’s awesome! Yeah things that are better in the USA for kids. I’m sure there are some but none that are coming to mind at the moment. More shopping malls? 🤪
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Also worth mentioning that Mutterschutz with 50% pay compensation existed even before WW1. Goes back to the healthcare act of 1883, though unpaid at that time...
With the couples I know, the fathers have actually taken their share of parental leave, and nobody regretted it. I know a friend of mine particular liked the time where her leave and her husbands' overlapped (whcih they planned that way) and they could really take time to bond with their child together and become a functioning family. Also, kinda impressed with the way you pronounced Kinderförderungsgesetz!
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife In an US social-report (I do not remember if it was with Michael Moore or in "Food Inc") was pointed out a big problem in the USA: Big fast food-chains (Mc Donald's, Burger King ect) are often the only ones in big cities providing properly playgrounds for kids. But that has nothing to do with humanity or social conscience but with customer retention in the youngest target group... 🤔🍔
The problem with laisser faire (doing nothing, let it be) education of children, is that it does not set boundaries, which creates problem people later in life. The problem with an education that focuses on telling what is wrong, is that it creates socially awkward people and other problems - perfectionists and more. The problem with loads of praise and rewards is that kids become reward junkies and get frustrated when there is no explicit reward that is easily recognized. We will have to self-motivate them by showing them what is best, what is expected, how to in all (most) walks of life. And it is easier for child A to be taught what is expected when parent B discusses that expectation with person C in the presence of A, than A being lectured about it. Note that for high testosterone boys it may be easier to accept a slap than to be lectured as this feels like being talked down and put to shame. And this may be similar for most girls. No I'm not in favor of undoing laws that make spanking illegal, but we have to be careful to not throw the baby away with the bath water.
The problem with "slapping" is that children learn to react to problems with violence. What you "slap" a grown up when you are not happy with his/her behaviour? And why don't you do it? Yes - because you are afraid of repercussions. So you only slap kids because they cannot fight back.
@@susanneanna2421 - I'm not saying children should be slapped, don't turn my words around. The problem is that from a frustration/aggression education model most parents have evolved into laisser faire. And that is also a problem.
I can agree with you there - I think all parents now are trying our best to learn how to work with our children without fear and shame, hitting and violence. And it's honestly a big learning curve since this is new for society to parent this way. So I think a balance will be found in the future.
Hey Sarah, Hey Kevin, i Hope you answer of my questions: What think your own familys ther live in the USA for your Content of RUclips? Your own little family in Germany, makes all days more and more new interesting different experience. Your ideas, personalitys at your allday works are different as for 3 yaers ago.....it's difficult for you when you visit the usa with your new personality and Handling? I Hope you anderstand me, sorry my schoolenglish arent the best:-(.... Best wishes Melanie from Ostfriesland
Hi Melanie! Yeah so Kevin's family shares many of our beliefs about how a society should run, so it's not awkward with them. My family has different beliefs - we all love each other and know that we have different political beliefs. We do engage in conversations about it sometimes when we are together, as everyone stays respectful and kind. There are many intelligent people on both sides of our families so we can really have some interesting discussions. We all keep our relationship the main priority - relationship over politics. :)
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Very interesting list of how Germany is child friendly. We Germans don’t even see anymore and take for granted. 🤯
Yeah Germany has a lot of benefits for families that the USA doesn’t offer!
@karin Land
Wie immer, unser deutsches Leben wird so oft für selbstverständlich und als normal angesehen. Dabei ist das Leben in Deutschland einfach wahnsinnig privilegiert und luxuriös.
Montags gegen Maske demonstrieren und dann abends auf der Couch liegen und TV schauen, mit einem vollen Kühlschrank in der Küche und warmen Wasser in der Dusche. Das ist nicht normal, das ist Luxus. Im Krankheitsfall medizinisch versorgt zu werden, Luxus. Arbeitslos werden und dafür geld bekommen, Luxus.
Daher gehen mir die ganzen schreihälse und Menschen, die immer über dieses Land abhaten, einfach nur auf den Sack.
Mehr Demut und Wertschätzung für das, was wir in diesem Land überhaupt alles haben und als normal betrachten.
Und dann gibt es echt welche die ein Tempolimit auf der Autobahn als Einschränkung der persönlichen Freiheit sehen. Wir leben wie die Made im Speck.
@@nachnamevorname_the_original ja, da hast du recht.
Ich war erstaunt zB über „Es gibt Familentickets.“ und „Der Arzt spricht direkt mit dem Kind.“ das hätte ich in so einer Liste nicht erwartet.
And thats a good thing.
I dont think its a problem thst we only tent to see the negative aspects and there are some. Only if we dont stop pointing out whats wrong and actualy try to improve the syrhem even more there can be and even better future.
If we just sit down and apreciate the good we might as well change our name to usa 2.0
To incence the lively debate even more: I really do not understand how U.S. American politicians argue that it is the states' right to make a woman carry an unwanted pregnancy, and at the same time argue that the state has no responsibility in supporting families. Either you are in or you are out - rights and responsibilities go hand in hand, even for states and federal governments. The hypocracy makes me afraid for your democracy.
Couldn’t agree more with all that you have said. They are pro birth, not pro life. 😔
It is hypocracy. But you have to see it as two different things. The first is the conservative culture war issue, they adapted after couldnt do their racism openly anymore after the civil rights movement. So its the issue, that gets them the votes and therefore the power.
On the other hand, any social issue including surporting families and kids would cost money. And since they are legally bribed by companies (because the Surpreme Court considers money as free speach) to keep the taxes as low as possible and keep down any workers rights.
So one is used to gain the power, the other is used to get rich while in power.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Yes and against Woman. The US needs human supplies for the military and cheap labor - so sad. These people make me angry. There is already a bounty on people's heads in Texas for helping an abortionist!!!! 😨The USA is so backwards in parts and the Democrats do nothing about it because they might lose voters and sponsors. For example, the states could not be admitted to the EU because they do not meet the requirements.
@@scottevil4531 the explanation of the origin makes sense. But how they get away with outcome of these contradictory arguments is puzzling. Why would people vote against their own self-interest?... But then again, we have some of the same problems, just not as obvious
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife there is quite an amount of hypocrisy involved, yes.
This. All of this.
I’m a single mother living in the states and I can’t even begin to describe how ridiculous it is to raise a child here. When I first had my daughter, I needed to work, and attempted to get a job at a child care center so my daughter could go there and I could make enough money to pay my bills. Well, it cost so much to send my daughter there that even with the “employee discount”, it would have taken my entire paycheck + I would need more to finish paying the costs, but unfortunately working in the field that I was educated didn’t pay enough to pay the exorbitant amount of childcare costs outright. Fortunately, I’m a veteran and used the GI bill to go back to school while I stayed at home with my child. However, child care costs are crazy and the reason so many people are unable to work. And then health care costs. Yikes.
But the worst part for me isn’t even the cost of raising a child here - or places not allowing children to come (like doctor’s appointments) when you have no child care for them, but how scary it is to raise a child here. I mean, you have to fear sending them to school, going grocery shopping, riding public transportation, etc. in the event someone brings a gun. Then you also have to fear letting them play outside without you being a hawk over them in the event someone would take your child. Or turning your back for a second in a store. I mean - you even have to fear accidentally leaving your door unlocked because someone could come into your home and take your child.
Luckily, I’m starting the process to move to Germany. I cannot wait to raise my child in a country that allows me to breathe.
Great video (as always)! I’m looking forward to your next one.
Oh wow, you could’ve done this video yourself and it would go viral! I’d love to connect with you on Instagram - perhaps I could interview you once your here in Germany and then you can share the differences. I’m so happy for you that you’re able to move to Germany - is it with the military?
One question: is the danger of being kidnapped as a child really so high in the States or is it more a feeling of insecurity?
@@nebelland8355 one child, every 40 seconds, goes missing or is abducted in the United States and while many of these may be resolved within hours, a lot of them will be permanent. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve about had a heart attack when an Amber alert goes off on my phone. Let me tell you, it’s more times than I should that’s for sure.
I may be more paranoid than others when it comes to child abduction, but that may stem from a situation that happened when I was younger and a stranger asked me if I’d like to walk to the store with her. Luckily our living room window was open and my father overheard someone talking to my sister and I and came outside at the perfect moment. But I’m also not naive enough to think it could never happen.
@@nebelland8355 it's not even just kidnapping they have to fear of they let their kids out on their own. Someone can and will call CPS or child protective services on parents for neglect and other nonsense over this.
Imagine if that happened in Germany, half of my cities parents would just lose their kids pretty much because they even go on public transport on their own as young as 7 years old to get to school or to a playground.
If Aleman is your surname, you sure fit in =D
As a German raising our family in the US I have to agree with you, too. Everything is sooo expensive here. There is no walkability past our block. We are lucky our kids are able to walk to a close by park on their own without having to cross a major road. (Thanks to Utah embracing "free ranged" kids) We still feel liberated each time we visit family in Germany.
As an American living in Germany and raising my little one here I 💯 agree with all of your points. Definitely doesn’t make me want to move back to the US anytime soon. I much prefer our quality of life as a family here in Germany and excited for my daughter to experience a place that treats children with much more care and respect.
It's very validating to hear that another American mom agrees with us! Once you've lived in both countries, your eyes are really opened to how Germany has progressed beyond the USA. It's so interesting how the USA was such a beacon of light to the rest of the world in democracy for so long. And then things really started shifting after WWII.
If you wanna know why Germany and other countries in Europe have developed to the countries they are now, you should watch this video (36 min): "How Denmark invented Social Democracy".
It is NOT a commercial for Denmark. The video is made by a German guy, and he explains how it all started. The video is based on political science, and it's brilliant.
Even though Kevin have lived in Sweden, I will bet a Dunkel, he doesn't know why Sweden is as it is. But he can find out by watching the video. Even Germans will learn why their country developed to the great country it is now.
Very educational.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Sorry, but the USA was never ever a beacon of democracy and freedom in the world. Race segregation till the sixties! McCarthy era, wage slavery at the coal mines till the 50ies! andandand.
That is just for the record.
Sorry for the interruption but....
I'm from Austria and it's also considered really important to learn about "stranger danger". We all were told "Never get into a stranger's car" and "Never take sweets from a stranger". But nobody ever told me not to talk to strangers, e.g. adults often asked me for directions - if you are out alone as a child, you probably live in the area and know your way around...
For teenagers, another "stranger danger"-rule is added. "Never take a drink from a stranger". Crime rates in Austria are the same as in Germany (or even slightly lower), but people still follow some rules to be really safe.
what just happened in Texas shows that one of the most important things is that children can go to school without fear. in schools without closed doors, without metal detectors and without armed security guards. this is probably one of the most child-friendly. then comes the parents without fear of being able to go to cinemas or supermarkets without fear with their children.
We so agree!
Tell that to the victims of the german death camps. If only every "undesirables " had been armed to the teeth when the german police came to round them up for a train ride of death.
Germans welcomed many with promises of a nice hot shower, only to find Zyklon B pouring into the shower.
@@dave8599 now no idea what crimes that happened 80 years ago in Europe (Germany) has to do with the weapon weakness of today's USA. but while we're at it, how many Indians have been slaughtered under the US? how many slaves did the US have and how many of them were killed? vietnam with 2 million dead Vietnamese were also not exactly a glorious leaf and hiroshima and nagasaki ? or the preventive war of junior bush in Iraq, where the USA had lied to the entire UN, etc., etc., so first sweep away the dirt in front of your own house door.
"Where we lived, our neighborhood was pretty safe. [...] There were some shootings in the town we lived in"
This is a sentence that does not make any sence to me as a german. Having shootings in the town is something I would concider very unsafe. So bizzar to hear this both sentences describing the same place.
I thought the same thing 😂 WHAT you call that safe
That's the US for you! I live in a safe neighborhood, but we have pretty frequent shootings in several areas of town 20 minutes away.
Last year I was in Bregenz at the opera festival. Sitting in a nice cafe next to the waterfront we could hear our American neighbors talking. They were talking housing prices in the San Francisco area. One of them talked about the housing prices in a specific area being pretty decent. No more than 1,5 to two million. And pretty safe. Just the occasional drive by shooting. 😮 the other one agreed that this was decent. We were just laughing so hard because they were serious- in no way this would ever be acceptable here!
I myself have no children, but a girlfriend of mine has three. She got divorced when the kids were 5 to 10. When her two boys were teens they became very difficult. One was often very aggressive and the other used to drive trunken moped which sometimes ended at a police station. My girlfriend never punished them but always talked and discussed with them - often for hours. Today both “bad boys” are themselves in their thirties, one is studied IT-expert and the other made carreer in a hotel. And both have a good relationsship with her mother! I was always impressed how she handled the problems with the kids. When her younger son failed at the gymnasium she was not disappointed but recognized that he is more a “practical” kind of person. And as a shift leader in a hotel he is very admired and respected by guests and collegues.
What a great success story. I’m so glad it Worked out well for your girlfriend and her kids.
When i was young my father didn't take parental leave (i don't know if it was available in the late 1990s) but we went on a father-son cure vacation to Amrum (island in the north sea) when i was 4. They are paid by your german health insurance and available for mothers too of course. I still remember this today and it was an awesome experience. Beeing on vacation for 3 weeks with only your dad (and other parents with their children) formed a really big bond between us.
I can highly recommend.
It was an option, that father's could have taken parental leave. My father took it in 1998. But it was a rare occasion.
Awe I love this! It sounds like you have an awesome dad.
Our children are your age, yes, after maternity leave the father could have taken parental leave (instead of the mother), but in many professions overtime was still paid at the time, and the father often simply had more income as a result. Even if the income was otherwise almost the same. The child-raising allowance at that time was a maximum of 600 DM/approx. 306 euros The new regulation requires fathers to share parental leave with the mother, since a) the amounts are higher and b) if both take parental leave a few months longer is paid.
When our children were small, only 2 men from our circle of parents and acquaintances at the time (baby care course; toddler group; family members) took parental leave.
"Young" fathers take parental leave without worrying, even if they hold managerial positions.
And thanks to "home office", some fathers tend to stay at home when their wives and children are sick.
** the fact that your father went to the rehab with you could also simply have been because you had health insurance with him and your mother had another insurance, which would have made the application processing and billing more complicated.
@@Laurin-nm8yx yeah my father took it in 1995.
My dad went to one of those with my older brother. My brother had meningitis when he was 3 years old and that left him having to relearn pretty much anything.
They offered to either let our mom or our dad go with my older brother. This was in 1990 so this really has been a thing for ages now.
Fun fact about your last topic of spanking children. The initiative comes from the famous childrens author Astrid Lindgren. When receiving the Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, on 22 October 1978, Astrid Lindgren made a speech about non-violent upbringing. In 1979, due to Astrid Lindgren's speech, a law was introduced in Sweden prohibiting violence against children. I had her speech as a poster for years over my desk. There is a great article on wikipedia "Never Violence!"
Oh cool! Thanks for sharing this with us. Maybe Kevin knows about this, I’ll show it to him.
And has this had the desired effect? The last time I checked nothing much had changed, in fact I think there is more youth-related crime and violence than before the ban was introduced.
@@TukikoTroy you think? maybe check the facts again. Its for sure not due to lacks of spankings lol
@@moelleunbelievable Okay, just checked again and The figures for youth related crime are still pretty much the same as pre-ban. resourcecentre.savethechildren.net/pdf/4616.pdf/ That said, reducing youth crime was never one of the stated aims of the ban. Which is odd, because it is often quoted as being so by many anti-spanking groups who use Sweden as an example of the benefits of such a ban.
I was born in 1952 and raised with the pedagogic slaps and kicks of the time (delivered by parents, neighbours, teachers, police). Same as all the kids around me. No big deal really. There might have been some real abuse, but that is still going on now, as we all know.
But when I look at the result of the new, extremely non-violent raising of the kids since, I wonder if the little narcists, the princes and princesses, will do any better in society, by looking at it through their handscreens.
I will never forget the day when spanking got illegal in Austria. It was an incredible and uplifting feeling that your government shares and even supports your opinion as a child that it is not ok to hurt a kid.
Yes! And while there will still be families who spank their children even after it became illegal, the cultural tone that law sets is strong and very important in changing the mindset and culture long-term.
I am from germany and my father did occasionally (rarely) spank me when I did something really stupid like beating other children or my sister, but never much only 2 or 3 hits on the bum and I think this is ok. I personally am no parent yet, but I am a teacher and I would never hit a student, even if I was allowed to and I think I could not hit my child, if I had one.
The main reason why the birth rate in Germany has been too low for years is the poor compatibility of work and family. Politicians are trying to counteract this and have gradually created the parent-friendly laws we know today.
Once again I'm so freaking happy to be born and grown up in Germany.
It’s a great country!
But in what way does this contribute to the discussion on the situation of children in the U.S.? At some point we will have to accept that countries handle things differently, and that opinions about it will differ as well. If the German way was universally accepted, every society would choose to implement it. That is obviously not happening.
@@TheHC97 looking at other places for raising children might slowly change things in the USA. I’m pretty sure, you couldn’t just copy the way Germany does it, but maybe implement some the things adapted to the culture in the USA.
I know, that some prisons in the USA changed, after the responsible people visited prisons in Germany and somewhere in Scandinavia (I forgot the country). They didn’t change everything at once, just implemented some things and things were getting better for everyone involved.
@@jennyh4025 I do agree. But I also believe that this should always go both ways, because not everything is either entirely good or entirely bad in one country or the other.
About three years ago I experienced the following in a German drugstore, which I, as a mother, also very much welcome. I stood in line at the cash register. In front of me was a child holding a larger toy. When it was the child's turn, the clerk said she couldn't sell him the toy. The boy naturally wanted to know why he couldn't buy it. The saleswoman explained to him in a friendly tone that children up to the age of twelve can only buy goods that do not exceed the value of twenty euros. They are therefore only allowed to buy small things that they can safely pay for with their pocket money. The saleswoman went on to say that if he wanted the toy he had chosen, she could put it away for him to buy with his mother or father.
Beschränkte Geschäftsfähigkeit nennt sich das.
Ist definitiv eine gute Idee für die Läden sowas im Blick zu halten denn die Eltern können bei Kindern ohne Wenn und Aber die Ware einfach zurück geben wenn sie nicht dem Kauf zugestimmt haben.
Bei 14 bis 17 jährigen gibt es da auch noch ein paar Regeln die dürfen aber schon etwas mehr kaufen.
When the Child Tax Credit was expanded and paid out it reduced child poverty in the US by 30%...for a while. The child poverty rate in the U.S. is nearly double that of Germany. And you are so right, the people who need it most get it the least.
Wow, we didn't even include that in the video - child poverty rate is nearly double that of Germany.
Danke für das wirklich sehr interessante Video! Als Deutscher nimmt man so vieles als selbstverständlich … und es tut gut, zu hören, dass es das nicht ist. Ich bin dankbar, hier zu leben. Unabhängig davon, dass ich einige der Vorteile, die junge Eltern heute haben, noch nicht hatte, als meine Tochter geboren wurde. Und natürlich bin ich sehr gespannt auf euer nächstes Video.
Interesting to hear as always. I would be interesting to see how the kids perceive the difference. Maybe they cannot really articulate it perfectly but it won´t be long until it might not be more than a hazy memory. So maybe ask them for their take before all the memory fades, because it´s probably mostly the little things that won´t really be remembered for long by anyone.
Well we lived in a house that had a very nice, big garden and a forest behind the house they could play in. So they loved our house and yard in the US. To them, life was good. But it depends on your social class, really.
Well we lived in a house that had a very nice, big garden and a forest behind the house they could play in. So they loved our house and yard in the US. To them, life was good. They really like all of the independence they have here in Germany.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I think the effects don't really become noticeable until they are teenagers, when they start to wean themselves off their parents!? In the US, children are sheltered and restricted with prohibitions until they leave home and then fall into the cold water, right?
I have read several articles now, why the birthrates in the U.S. have gone down in the past several years, and more young people don't necessarily see it as an enhancement to their lives anymore. The number one reason given, was the cost of raising a child because of all the reasons you touched upon in this video. I've seen young mothers cry because they've had to leave their babies and go back to work, because their family needed the money. I've seen mothers cry because they've not properly recuperated from child birth, because 2 weeks off work without pay, was all their family could afford. My heart bled for those mothers and to me, this is criminal. It's a huge failure of the society here, and makes me absolutely horribly angry. When you make it this hard especially on mothers and dads too, to raise a child or children , society has horribly failed. In most cases, 2 incomes are needed now for a family to make it through all their basic financial obligations and when you add the burden of expensive childcare to it, it comes to a breaking point. On the subject of corporal punishment, I'm stunned that it is still allowed in some States in schools. How utterly archaic and counter productive to a child's development. When my daughter was a toddler, I started a playgroup because there were no kids her age in our neighborhood. There was a group of about 7 or 8 mothers and their kids, and on the very first meeting at my house, one of the mothers spanked her kid in front of all of us because the toddler didn't listen to her. We were all shocked and it got very quiet and awkward. What can a 2 year old possibly do, that you as a grown adult lose your s..t, and hit your small 2 year old child? Let's just say, that mother never returned to our play group. I've experienced corporal punishment during my childhood on occasion quite severe, and it was absolutely devastating to me and had lasting effects. I swore to myself then that if I ever had any kids, they would never have to experience that, and she didn't. Children should never have to fear their parents or any person of authority over them.
Love your comments, Isa, and agree with everything that you write - especially this part - "My heart bled for those mothers and to me, this is criminal. It's a huge failure of the society here, and makes me absolutely horribly angry. When you make it this hard especially on mothers and dads too, to raise a child or children , society has horribly failed." I so agree - a failure of society.
I was yelled a "communist" by an Idahoan simply for appreciating the GER family care system.... Once you've received the silver plate for 100k subs, please make sure to repost this video (amongst many others). I sure hope you're having lots of viewers in the US......
Aawwww, that's awful! ....And shocking too that he would so readily identify what, ultimately, you guys are advocating. Maybe he values his "life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and property" and doesn't want to be FORCED to pay for YOUR "family care"!!! ....Go figure!
Don't you worry. Someday, they will make such outbursts a crime -- you know, "misinformation" (as deemed by a government commission dedicated to proper thought).
So, what do you want to call it: a system where THE STATE (even if by majority vote -- most mob lynchings are done by popular demand as well, you know; three cheers for "democracy"!) LEVELS a GUN at your neighbor's head -- you know that guy in that other ZIP code whom you've deemed "privileged" (by race, even 04:45 ) and identified as someone who has "too much" or "more than enough" -- and takes from him a sizeable portion of his earnings or estate, and gives it out to others in the community on the basis of "need" (or even on the basis of historical grievance by people of the recipient's ethnic/racial stock)?
Who was it who put forward the slogan (as moral justification for a particular state-backed economic system called, what, again?), "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!" ....(AND, that this was to be accomplished by state coercion!)
Was that Jesus? Maybe it was Plato? ....Some guy named "Karl"? ....Groucho Marx's older and more hirsute brother? (Okay, I don't know about that last part.)
Yeah, that Karl guy had NOTHING to do with "communism"!!! (Would you prefer to call it by its other name, "socialism"?)
Is the fact that it is developed over decades via democratic vote (in the Federal Republic of Germany or the United States) something which makes it FUNDAMENTALLY different as an end result? ("Social Democracy", I think it's called.)
It seems the Idahoan understood the FUNDAMENTAL POINT of the system that you are "appreciating" ("admiring"). He's thinking, "how can I draw a line and declare, 'No, this is MINE! I developed my own talents and worked hard and I'm keeping THIS!!'."
Tell him how you would draw this line and declare, "That's enough! We'll just take THAT much!" ....Because we haven't met a democratic socialist (or any kind of socialist) who has managed to elaborate a LIMIT to this "rob Paul to pay Peter" stuff. ...After all, the RECIPIENTS of this entitled largess can vote also! People can vote THEMSELVES money out of the public treasury!!
I honestly started crying at the end when you were talking about spanking kids. Because it's a tragedy that this still happens and is widely accepted by society in so many countries but also because of how empathic and well educated you two are in terms of brain development, child behavior etc. The respectful and loving way you treat your kids is one of the main reasons why I watch your channel. It's a corrective experience for me to see but also very difficult emotionally because I realize how things should have been instead of the horrific abuse I had to survive at home and in various other places when I was a kid. I'm sure Germany is more aware of children's needs than the US but there's still so much to do here in terms of the family system being valued and protected more than the well-being of the child. As long as children don't get hurt overtly no one cares. The parents almost always get the benefit of the doubt which I don't understand when there's clear evidence for trauma in the child's behavior, thinking and feeling.
I am so very sorry you experienced trauma as a child. It’s not right nor is it fair. ❤️ Yeah talking abou spanking makes my stomach hurt also - knowing so many children still live with that fear, despite the resounding evidence that it’s harmful.
When I was a new parent, I had misjudged how much milk and water to take with me, and our little one was crying very loudly (thirsty, tired) in the tram on our way home. Some 40-something man shouted at us: "can't you keep that (blasted) kid quiet?" when an older woman shouted at him saying: "you be quiet, that child is going to pay your pension!" She got a round of applause.
Our 4 yr old daughter had been taunted by a little boy at a sandbox (unbeknown to me) when another lady who had witnessed this, went up to the boy and said to him sternly: "one doesn't throw sand!, be nice to the other children here or I will call your mom" The boy ran crying to his mother and I heard her say: "I told you to be nice, now you have the other parents angry at you," and she brought boy over to our daughter and made him apologize.
Yes, it takes a village to raise a child.
Those are great examples of how it takes a village to raise a child! I love what that older woman said to the main - "you be quiet, that child is going to pay your pension!" Such a perfect comeback!!
The gun violence issue is so insane, at least from my german perspective. Its crazy for me to think of strangers carrying guns. Never have I ever heard of someone being shot within my social circles or in general. Sure there might be some really rare occasions in the news (national wide), like 5-ish a year if not less. I can't understand why people are so stubborn if it comes to owning guns.... and call it "freedom" - the more guns a society "got" - the more people will die. period. There is no way around it.
Actually there are many guns in Germany as well. I think Germans rank 4th on gun ownership. So it is not the guns that kill people, it is indeed the violent society (in the US) that kills.
@@JakobFischer60 really? apart from hunters? Maybe its just my area, but I know no one, nor someone who knows someone who owns a gun.
@@moelleunbelievable Yes, 32 weapons per 100 capita in Germany vs. 101 in USA. Total homicites in Germany 42 vs. 10945 in USA. (Data from 2014)
@@JakobFischer60 okay thanks, I wasn't aware of it. nevertheless, the homicide numbers speak for themselves. Glad to live in Germany :-P
@@moelleunbelievable Yes, I think it comes from social inequality and social accepted aggression.
I think whether maternity/paternity leave is used equally is very much an issue of the particular culture of that place. At my work, parents commonly share the leave more or less equally (and yes, they actually use it to take care of their kids). But I work at a university and universities are rather notoriously progressive. Nobody there really questions fathers taking paternity leave and it's quite common. But I do know from friends who work in places with a more conservative culture that it's much more uncommon for fathers to take more than the two partner months.
Btw, a lot of the view on child rearing in Germany also ties back (like so many things) to the NAZI time. Basically we realised that raising children to be obedient MIGHT not be the best idea. Hence there was a phase in which all kinds of child raising was tested out...we actually went all the way in the other direction for some time, with the "laissez-Faire" style, in which the children were basically allowed to do everything, which turned out to be not quite right either, because those children tended to grow up quite spoiled. So nowadays, most people settle somewhere in the middle, in which there are SOME boundaries for the children, but they are also treated like full human beings.
Oh wow, interesting! I had no idea this was part of the reason, but it makes sense. It’s so important to raise children who think for themselves and aren’t forced to think a certain way.
Sorry i found your posting very strange to say it friendly.
@@alluresoftheseas2999 Why? Where do you see the discrepancies?
@@alluresoftheseas2999 why?..
Als erstes frage ich mich welche Bücher Sie gelesen haben und komme zweitens zu der Annahme das sie keine Nachkriegskindheit in Deutschland hatten.
To my mind, the greatest differences between Germany (and most of Europe )and the US is less fear and less violence in all categories of life. I don’t understand that a nation with this immense wealth and power is so insecure and fearful.
Yeah it's really interesting to see how Europe and the USA have changed so much culturally. I think part of the reason for the fear in the USA is the lack of support among the poor - they have very difficult lives with very little security for their futures. Also, after WWII, Europe really progressed forward and learned from the two terrible World Wars. I'm not exactly sure why the US did not.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Sometimes I think the american government is very violent not only against their society but also against other countries. They show you are very successful when you are brutal with all the wars and regime changes and so on. You can take what you want and everything is ok if it's good for yourself. I allways must think about Albright and the 500.000 Iraqi children.
@@arnolsi 500.000 what can you explain very quickly... how did they do that
@ Die meisten starben an Infektionen und Vergiftungen, vor allem durch verunreinigtes Wasser. Es gab keine Medikamente und keine Chemikalien zur Wasseraufbereitung.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Ein wesentlicher Grund müsste die Existenz der DDR gewesen sein: In Deutschland waren beide Systeme über Jahrzehnte im direkten Wettbewerb, wer seinen Bürgern das bessere Leben bietet. Relativ kurz nach der Wiedervereinigung wurde das soziale Netz zurück gebaut. Die jetzigen Verbesserungen, insbesondere im Familienbereich, sind auf die niedrigen Geburtenraten zurück zu führen. Kinder werden auch als Investition in die Zukunft gesehen: Deutschland hat wenig Rohstoffe. Der Wohlstand kommt von gut ausgebildeten Menschen. Daher war es wichtig, dass Frauen ermutigt werden, wieder mehr Kinder zu haben. Außerdem ist es wichtig, dass die Kinder gut ausgebildet sind, um später unseren Wohlstand zu halten.
This was really interesting.
I'm a German living in Greece and my children consider Germany not very child friendly compared to Greece. As a parent I would say that Germany is definitely very parent friendly and hence also child friendly, but when it comes to how people interact with children I'd say that Greeks do better than Germans. Hearing how children live in the US made me very sad, but also helped me understand the why of US politics. If you can't trust anyone you can't trust your government and you must focus mainly on your own survival and wellbeing and don't care about community.
How specifically do you think people in Greece interact in a better way with children?
@@carpediem5232 I tell you a few interactions I've experienced with my children in Greece that I don't think would have taken place in Germany:
1) I get onto the bus with a toddler and need to close the pushchair because there's not much space and a bunch of teenagers sitting in the back of the bus are listening to music and trying to behave "cool". The biggest guy with his girlfriend on his lap sees my toddler and screams right through the whole bus: "A little girl!!! She's so beautiful, I want a daughter like her when I'll be older!!! Come here little girl, sit with us until your mummy gets the pushchair closed." My daughter walked there and all the teens wanted to have her sit on their lap, talk to her. They told her how pretty she was, gave her snacks, asked for her name and said her name was beautiful. She sat with them until the teens had to get off and they brought her to me making sure she was sitting down properly before they got off the bus and waved at her, calling her with her name saying goodbye.
2) when we would go have some food at a taverna if it wasn't absolutely busy the stuff would approach the kids and ask if they wanted go see some cat/fish/baby/the kitchen/... If I had a baby they'd offer to carry it around a bit so I could eat more easily. Usually kids would be offered a little sweet for free. Children running around would never be seen as a problem neither by staff nor by guests. It's also not uncommon that children go to other tables and people talk to them and sometimes can offer them a little from their food.
3) when I had to do stuff like going to the bank or in a public office or anything else that requires queuing and had little kids or a baby with me it was absolutely standard I was told to skip and just go next even if I had like 20 people in front of me. Everybody agrees that you can't require pregnant women, babies and toddlers to wait for a long time in such a setting. If the staff don't call a pregnant woman to the desk, people in the queue will approach staff and tell them there's a pregnant woman/baby/toddler so they can call them to skip the queue.
4) when I flew to Germany, pushchairs, being considered bulky luggage would arrive in the end after all the other luggage. When I flew to Greece pushchairs would be brought directly to the exit of the airplane, so parents wouldn't have to carry the child and contemporary have to get their luggage.
5) While at the beach other parents will encourage their children to approach your child and invite them to play together. They'll offer your child food, toys and look out for your child. If people see you struggling with carrying all the stuff you carry when having little kids, most likely someone will offer help.
@@helgaioannidis9365 Well to some extend I think it has more to do with a different approach to privacy while it also seems to me that a lot of what you described happens in Germany as well. In a Restaurant for example, as long as it was outside I often have seen children running around. Compliments for children are pretty common too.
When it comes to the situation in the bus I know similar situations from the train where people either give up their seat entirely so that a young child can sit or interact with the child. Although it has to be said that again this is accompanied with a look or two to the parent once in a while as if to check if they are also fine with that "intrusion" of family privacy. The same goes for helping to carry a piece of luggage maybe or helping carry the pushchair down the stairs.
As far as kids roaming around and maybe getting a snack, that is something I know from parks.
And parents encouraging their children to play with others is common on play grounds.
That pregnant women/ parents with toddlers are able to skip the queue is also pretty common in my experience.
When it comes to pushchairs on plains that would probably have to be the policy of the airline or the airport. Lufthansa for example seems to have the same service you mentioned. "Sobald das Flugzeug die Parkposition erreicht, erhalten Sie den Buggy an der Fluggastbrücke zurück oder am Fuß der Fluggasttreppe, falls der Transfer mit dem Bus stattfindet."
There seem to be some airports where as a passenger you can not take the push chair into the plane cabin yourself, but it seems that the the same service of getting the pushchair once you leave the plain still applies.
All in all. I can't say that these examples seem that strange or foreign for me. There might be a difference in how "open" you perceive it, which probably has to do with the different approach to privacy already mentioned, but non of the examples you listed would seem out of place to me if they happened in Germany and many actually happen in Germany in similar fashion. That's at least my experience.
@@carpediem5232 I agree that these things can happen in Germany, too, it's a question of frequency I think. In Germany I've had the experience of people trying to get in front of me in a queue while busy with my toddler, that never ever happened to me in Greece and would have brought very hostile reactions towards the person trying to do that. In Germany nobody cared, not even staff. I've also in Germany had the experience that many people refused to help me with the stairs and the pushchair, even when I was having two children, luggage and the pushchair. One person even said "why did you get a child if you can't handle it on your own?" 😮
My children having experienced both Germany and Greece growing up, consider Greece being much more child friendly. I think it's just the general attitude.
What I personally really love about Germany are the great playgrounds. They are really designed to the needs of children. Greek playgrounds are very boring compared to German ones. And in Germany families get much more help financially than in Greece.
@@helgaioannidis9365 Well all of what you mentioned is not socially excepted also. Skipping the line anyway, skipping it in front of an elderly person, or a parent with toddler especially. Of course I won't discount your experience, but in my experience it is more likely that 3 or more people look if they can help a parent down some stairs than none at all. But yeah always interesting to hear another perspective.
I am actually just so shoked that spanking ISN'T illegal in the US?😳
Right?! Not okay.
i am most shocked that there are still states in the US where schools are allowed to do that. That really is ridiculous.
To me as a neighbour of a super noisy family it is a horror that children can be as loud as they want the WHOLE day. I really suffer because the shouting and stomping for hours is so exhausting. I have to work from home and often cannot understand my conversational partners during video meeting since the neighbors' children are so loud. I think parents still have a responsibility to be considerate of their neighbors. When I was a child, my mother often told me to be a bit more quiet as we had elderly neighbors and I understood it and tried to follow. My today's neighbors think that it will harm their children's development if they tell them to be more quiet. 🙄 It is very frustrating to me and I think that there should be a law that restricts children's noise to a certain amount. To me, it is totally clear that children are louder than adults but that should not be used as a "license" to be loud. By the way, I think Kevin's story is from Sweden. In Germany there is Nachtruhe, usually from 10 pm to 6 am and not even children are allowed to be noisy during this time period (except crying of course, but they are not allowed to play loudly).
I can totally understand the difficulty you must have with loud children while working from home. Before COVID, working from home wasn’t that common. But now that it is perhaps this law needs to be updated.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I am happy that most parents are not like my neighbours but for those few who are, an updated law would be helpful. We also have other neighbours with children and the parents are very considerate and even said they hope that their children are not too loud, even though we have not felt disturbed by them at all.
In the US apartment complexes and condos do have quiet time in the US. It isn't during the day but still there is a quiet time. Generally speaking a person who is going to be working from home can afford a tiny home out in the country. Since this is the case it's a choice to live in an apartment or condo. If you want quiet build a tiny home out in the wilderness (as I said before). I HATED that kids had to be quiet in Germany and Switzerland, but I respected it because renting isn't as much of a choice in Germany and Switzerland. Kids are loud, kids love to stomp, and they love to hear themselves make noise. This is plain and simple and kids need to be kids.
@@jessicaely2521 I know that it is normal that kids are louder but I think it is still the parents' responsibility to be considerate about the neighbours when you live in an apartment building. That does not mean that they have to be quiet all day. There is still the opportunity to go outside with the kids e.g. to one of the countless playgrounds in my neighbourhood and there is no need to stay inside the whole day. Also, it was very interesting that my neighbour's kids are able to be more quiet. At some point, the father changed his strategy from "my children are not noisy" to "I will to tell them to be more quiet at least for two hours a day" and voila it works. For a few weeks, I am able to work without interruption again. In my experience, many parents in Germany saying that children need to be children are just not willing enough to deal with the children. It is easy to have children but not to bring them up. As I said, most parents are NOT like my neighbours but it is a problem if you have those neighbours - even if you have own children. My best friend who is a mother of two couldn't believe how noisy my neighbour's kids were and told me she would go crazy.
I think that there is also a cultural difference between the US and Germany. I experienced that people in the US are way louder than Germans. In Germany, people try to be more quiet in order not to disturb others. Even parents take care that their children are not too loud in public places which does not mean that Germans are monsters and will complain when a child gets a tantrum in a train or a restaurant. But it is common to take care that a child does not yell or stomp around for a longer period of time when you share a space with other people.
@@marieme5454 if you live in an area where you're working from home don't put yourself in the situation where you can be disturbed. You probably have the choice of living in a tiny home in the US. Leave the apartments for people who are working at McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. A good chunk of people who are working the fast food joints have children and don't have the choice to get a home. 10 pm to 7 am is quiet time. Kids being loud outside of these times you either have to put your big kid panties on and deal with it, get good noise canceling headphones (they really work), or get a home where it's you and only you. It's you're responsibility and only your responsibility to make yourself comfortable in an apartment outside of quiet time.
Your Videos are awsome. Thank you so much for sharing your expirience.
Thank you! 💕
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife your Welcome. Enjoy your Sunday 😀 greetings from Hannover
A friend of my family took his paternal leave during the soccer world cup, maybe that’s the German equivalent to going moose hunting 😂
Yeah there ya go!
But you really have to time your kids well 😉
Do U.S. citizens generally have a different view of what the state's responsibilities are? I would be really interested to know why many US-Americans consider it interference when the state takes care of its inhabitants. I mean, the state is not a hostile association, after all. For me as a German, the state consists of its citizens and the politicians are employees of the people. For me, it is precisely the supreme task of the state to be there for its citizens. Can someone explain to me the thought process in America?
Well it depends on the political affiliation of the person. Conservatives want as little government help as possible. Basically just there to keep citizens safe, build and maintain the public infrastructure, and provide schools. They believe that if you’re poor, it’s all your fault. Liberals believe more like you - the state is not something hostile and can be there to help us in times or need as well as take care of basic needs. Liberals understand that poverty is not just the fault of the individual - it’s a very complex issue.
as a European who's very interested in american politics i say the most shocking thing is the abandonment of individuals.
Our filosphy in Europe is that the state is a monster, but he`s less bad than all the other monster in society.
the way the large American industries are allowed to prey on mostly defenceless individuals is mind boggling to us.
the banks,oil companies,pharmaceutical and medical/insurance industries are allowed to get away with is unreal to us.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Wow, the idea that being poor is the poor person's fault is so Victorian, literally. This is the philosophy of the Workhouse and Oliver Twist.
@@TukikoTroy In the case of the US it is probably more Puritanical in origin.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife I mean as seen with the opposition last infrastructure bill, the "law and order" crowd that basically is more interested in protecting property than civil rights across the board and the ongoing onslaught against public schools by prominent republican voices or political appointments like Betsy DeVos, even the few points mentioned are not really points many or sometimes even most conservatives fully stand behind. At least that's the impression I get.
Even though we do not have kids, I also have to say your videos makes me appreciate much more of what we have here. The "children in my live" have been my nephews, now 15 and 18 years old, and I would definitely say they had a happy childhood. My SIL is even a headmistress at a Gymnasium, so I have been in kind of close contact with that system, and I would definitely say that my nephews are very independent from an early age on. I would agree that walkability of a city is really important, not only for children, but also for elderly people and people who might not be able to use cars. They are excluded from so many parts of social live if a city is not walkable. Thanks a lot for your videos!
The core of the difference is already in the wording: In the USA, health care and all the amenities around child birth are a benefit, in Germany (and all other EU countries), they are a right. The effect is clear: infant mortality rate in the USA is double of that in most European countries, and life expectancy is around three years lower in the States.
Yes!! Infant and maternal mortality rights are higher in the USA than in most other industrialized nations. WHAT?! That shouldn't be so for such a rich country. But yes you make such a good point that in Germany, health care and benefits for families are considered a right. It's a HUGE difference between the two countries.
You can't use infant mortality rate as a comparison of if a country is better or not. Infant mortality is from some number when you're pregnant to age 1. Most countries report infant mortality at different stages. Some countries might say infant mortality counting starts at birth where other countries says it starts at 2 weeks after the egg is fertilized. If the US had their way infant mortality rate would start when the egg is fertilized. My sister-in-law lost her baby when she was pregnant. My sister-in-law was 4.9 months into her pregnancy. My sister-in-law had all of the prenatal care that any EU country gives their citizens. She lost the baby because she got pneumonia. The only way for my sister-in-law to have the best chances to survive was by delivering the baby. If her baby was born a week later her baby would have survived. Her baby is counted as part of the infant mortality rate. You also have to take into consideration birth defects that isn't caused by not having prenatal care. I lost a baby because the heart didnt grow. I had all of the prenatal care you can imagine. My baby counted against infant mortality. Zika (a mosquito disease) can cause a mother to lose a baby. Europe doesn't have Zika yet. They also probably never will get Zika. Zika takes hold in tropical and subtropical environments. European countries arent tropical or subtropical (yet. You never know what will happen with global warming). Most of the countries in Euope don't have the climate for Zika to take hold. You have to take into account SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) into account. No amount of prenatal or postnatal care can prevent this yet. Australia has found the reason for SIDS. It's an enzyme that babies lack. Now comes the research into why this enzyme is lacking, can you test for it while baby is in the womb, and can you fix it while baby is in or out of womb. The US has a higher rate of babies dying from SIDS than Germany
yeah but you can have all the guns and ammo in the world :)
@@jessicaely2521 It's not true that countries define child mortality differently, since this is a definition by the UN, not by individual countries. Where did you get this from?
Child mortality is the mortality of children under the age of five, according to the WHO. The child mortality rate, refers to the probability of dying between birth and exactly five years of age per 1,000 *_live births,_* according to UNICEF.
The latter organisation also tracks number of stillbirths (after the 28th week of pregnancy), neonatal mortality rate for mortality in the first month after birth, infant mortality rate for children under one year of age, and adolescent mortality rate of children between the age of 10 to 19. There is no official UN statistics covering the loss of unborns in the first 28 weeks of pregnancy.
Wie have a saying in Germany (well, I think it actually originated in Africa, but we readily adopted it): "Um ein Kind aufzuziehen, braucht es ein ganzes Dorf." - "To raise a child, you need a whole village." It is just naturally to look out for children you encounter, even if they aren't your own. Recently I was waiting in line at a ice parlour and one father had one child with him and the other was waiting in the seat on the bike. He kept looking at the child he left outside, but eventually the line moved forward enough that he had to go in and place his order. Pretty much everyone in line kept their eyes on the child for him until he was done automatically.
I love this about German culture!
That was German staring, the appreciated way.
Your comments about the bible belt in USA made me feel really sad for the families who are let alone with their problems. I am already a grandma and when I had my first baby in 68 there was no real help yet for a young family as there exists fortunatelly today. Only with my third daughter in 1980 I could take 6 months Elternzeit without a loss of my salary. But I was really a lucky young girl because my mom- she raised me alone- could send me to the Gymnasium as school fees had been abandoned and for my studies I got financial help - a scholarship.
I am deeply aware that only with this government support I could make my career later on in life. When my husband and I lived for 13 years in SOUTH AMERICA with 2 daughters we had to struggle to pay for school and university. All the children in the world who cannot get a qualified education are a loss for their societies, a loss for humanity . I wish you and your children all the best.
Yes!! This is the case for most mothers - "I am deeply aware that only with this government support I could make my career later on in life." Most mothers cannot have the careers they want without good paid maternal and paternal leave.
This is exactly what I experienced. My son was born in the US and I was so afraid that my son would not survive school when and was constantly watching him because I was afraid that he would be kidnapped. Even after I came back to Germany it took me quite some time to calm down and realize that he is safe here.
Thank you so much for this video. I spent one year as exchange Student in the US (Utah) and after your video I finally Unterstand some parental things of my foster parents so much better. Thank you for all the videos you share. You Open the eyes of so many. Thank you♥️
Oh that’s so interesting! I’d love to hear which things your foster parents did that are now more clear to you.
Oh yes! My daughter has been in Alaska for a year and she felt too much regulated. And that car thing. Always had to ask someone to take her sonewhere. Never were allowed to walk alone.
But: she was very happy with the school! She missed the nice, young teachers and classes she could take (pottery, photography...), the high standard of gymnastics, the choir; when she were back. These are all issues in Germany: too less, too old teachers, arts and sport shortened.
And she missed the landscape, of course.
the percentage and duration of fathers taking paternal leave is getting better, it’s also getting accepted more in the work environment. But as t’s still usually the man earning a higher wage than the woman in a relationship, and as the money you get during parental leave is a percentage of your actual salary (simply put), it’s still more economical for the father to stay home less time than the mother
In Quebec, Canada, women get a year, paid maternity leave with their jobs guaranteed upon their return. There is even an option to stay home for another 6 months. Daycare can cost as little as $7 per day, spaces permitting.
That’s pretty good! 🇨🇦 has it better than the US.
My mom always told us, that when she was in the U.S. as an AuPair in 1961 !!, in a family with four Kids, spanking was absolutely taboo. Her own experience was quite different. She learned from her hosts: „Beating a Child causes broken glas, on which you will get your fingers cut, later on, when you have to pick it up“. We grow up that way. Never got beaten. Neither our own kids. And quite sure not our granddaughter. So we learned it from an family of Saddle River, NJ. Isn‘t it amazing, how 4 generations are influenced by just one international exchange? Herzlichen Dank für Eure tollen und interessanten Videos. LG
Your comparisons of life in Germany vs the US are really enlightening! But sadly, anyone who might propose these kinds of changes to life in America would be demonized and labeled as a communist.
Thanks for providing me with my weekly dose of optimism!
Yes that is why the USA stays stuck in the past and isn't moving forward with the rest of the industrialized world in some areas. The Cold War so deeply embedded this idea that any system that supports its citizens is related to communism. So instead of finding a middle ground, like so many countries in Europe have, the USA abandons taking care of its citizens all together. In English we have a saying - "you're cutting off your nose to spite your face." In other words, in trying to help yourself you actually hurt yourself and make things a lot worse.
It must also be remembered that every state depends on children being born. The state benefits from the birth of a child who, as an adult, takes up a profession, buys goods from the money earned and pays taxes. Only with births can a state function in the long term.
Children are our future and, of course, the future of a state.
Yes such a good point.
The violence against kids really really shocked me! That would never happen! You only see that in movies. That is very worrisome !
Isn’t it? It’s not okay
You should visit Leipzig! The train station is the biggest in Europe (by area) - for your kids the zoo in Leipzig is world famous. AND if you want some history just visit "The monument of the battle of the nations" = Völkerschlachtdenkmal. Leipzig is definitely a town to consider to have a visit! =D
And for music lovers, it's the city of Bach, he was Cantor in the city's Thomaskirche.
Did you know that in Germany there’s even a law that children have to help in the household of their parents? See paragraph 1619 of the BGB (Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch):
“§ 1619 Services in the home and business. As long as the child is a member of the parental household and is brought up or maintained by the parents, he or she shall be obliged to render services to the parents in their household and business in a manner appropriate to his or her strength and position in life.”
I printed that one out and put it on the fridge door to refer on it whenever my children refuse to do minor jobs in our household… 😜😜😜
Oh wow! What an interesting thing to make a law about. Do you know how old this law is?
Same here. The thing is, you probably wouldn't be able to sue your kids on this. Resp. If you do, it'd be not enforceable. So, even if you'd win at the court, nobody would be coming over to make your kid clean their room, set the table and put their dirty laundry away.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife „The provision on the obligation of children to cooperate under family law was originally classified in the Civil Code as § 1617. With the reform of non-marital law, it moved to the place of the vacated § 1619 on July 1, 1970.“
Background: In the early 20th century, the § 1617 had important practical consequences because it established that the child's earnings in the household and business of the parents accrued directly to the parents without first becoming the property of the child. Due to economic, social, and cultural changes, the importance of the duty to cooperate has since declined significantly.
@@e.l.l.y. Love this one by the German paper “Die Zeit”:
Education by threat of legal action
How the Civil Code can help parents
By Til Knipper
Admittedly, as a childless, 26-year-old single man, I'm not exactly predestined to give parents parenting tips, but as a qualified lawyer, I can point to a provision from the German Civil Code that could make life easier for many parents: Section 1619 of the German Civil Code. According to this provision, "as long as a child belongs to the parental household and is brought up and maintained by the parents, he or she is obliged to render services to the parents in their household and business in a manner appropriate to his or her strength and position in life".
How many annoying discussions could parents save themselves by pointing out this rule? The daughter doesn't want to clean up her room - threat to sue her. The lawn seems a bit too high to you again - perhaps your son can be persuaded by § 1619 to take the annoying mowing job off your hands. You would like to have a cold beer, but you would have to fetch it from the basement - § 1619. The dishwasher would have to be cleaned out again and the bathroom and kitchen could be cleaned - § 1619. The list could be continued indefinitely.
One might now object that a lawsuit within the family could temporarily strain domestic coexistence. This is probably true. The enforceability of a judgment that has been obtained could also prove difficult, as shrewd legal experts will point out. But as a rule, one will not have to go that far. An appropriate threat, supported by the relevant provision, will convince the offspring to help out in the household.
Anyone who thinks this is modern slavery is unaware of what happens to children who have everything taken away from them at home. Such spoiled brats become nest stools who would prefer to stay at "Hotel Mum" for the rest of their lives. Personal responsibility, a skill that can't be learned early enough these days, is a foreign word to them. Don't you think? I can only recommend the French film "Tanguy - the couch potato ", in which director Etienne Chatilliez takes a comedic look at the phenomenon of pushing the "hospitality" of parents to the limit in a cost-saving way.
In any case, my children get § 1619 BGB framed and hung above the bed at birth, so that they know right away how the wind blows... 😂😂😂😂
Now that I'm watching your video for the second time to translate it for my sister, I can think of an old German idiom that is wonderfully applicable to you McFalls (and in this case especially to kevin!): when you think positively of something or someone If you are surprised or amazed you say: "Old Swede! Have fun googling where that came from and have a pleasant holiday! Michael/Hanover
@28:31 I'm sorry but this topic is too "generalized". California is NOT that way...and also Germany is not always that patient with kids as you make it seem...Maybe in the cute affluent town you live in but, come on guys it would be nice if you didn't make it seem as if Germany is this flawless country. Not cool, sorry. Also I think it's time for you guys to visit not so nice places in good old Germany and meet people who are not that "nice" and where parents say this too "you are getting a whoopin'...". I seriously don't understand why you guys are putting the US down so much...Children are getting hit and abused here too. Gosh I'm super upset right now...I could go on and on, but it's too early.
Things are different in California than they are in the rest of the USA, that's for sure. We aren't trying to say that Germany is flawless, obviously no country is flawless and we say that in the video. On these particular matters, we do feel Germany is doing a better job that in the USA. We didn't say everything Germany does is better, just these 9 things. And these are very important points - 131 other countries in the world offer guaranteed paid maternity leave and the USA has nothing. As a mother I can tell you that even this one point can change our lives as women. It's a BIG big deal. That is not overgeneralising things - it's a fact.
That was sooo interesting, but also really shocking what you told about the circumstances in the USA. This stranger danger thing, the fear of kidnapping, learning to react to shooting in schools, physical violence to children like spanking or even whooping or with a belt. 😱 I was totally shocked! And no paid parental leave, no family discounts, no Kindergeld, no interesting adventure play grounds , no free space to move around independently.... Poor American children! Instead of this there often is permanent surveillance/monitoring by helicopter parents and pedagogues, too much time used with digital media, too little time outside, lack of exercise, completely unhealthy food and obesity. Sounds like a nightmare. You did the right thing by immigrating to Europe. Seems to be much better here.
Yes it’s sad! But I do want to say that children do have green spaces and nice playgrounds and parks in the USA, too. Many do live in nice homes with a garden, so they have space to run and play in their own neighborhoods. I apologize if we have a different impression. But as for the school shootings and spankings…
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Of course American children have much more space at home in the gardens of their Einfamilienhäuser. We don't have this so much here, but still much more than e.g. in Eastern Europe/Russia or China with a lot more urbanization and very high buildings. Even here in Germany it's not everywhere so idyllic and peaceful as in your sweet little Bavarian town. You have made a wonderful choice when looking for a new family home! 👍
The "eye doctor" - is not the person fixing the glasses, that is not the Augenarzt, that is the Optiker. The eye-doctor is the one who checks on the eyes and prescribes the glasses. Not where you get the new lenses/ glasses.
Yes that is correct - just faster in a video to say that. However, this lady we go to does check the children's eyes and prescribes glasses, and she sells the frames and lenses that we buy.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife
Der Optiker (Apollo, Fielmann Runke usw.) the can do that...but the need a Rezept 📝.
Ein guter Optiker 🥸 kontrolliert all again and misst den Augenabstand 🤓👀,stellt "the glasses 👓 self in/ ein.
Please don't get Sarah wrong, though: Germany is not the Garden of Eden for young families altogether. We've still a lot of work to do - and many of the very progressive thinkers fail to understand that the objective of raising kids must still be to make them fit for society - and no selfish, entitled little princes and princesses with an attention span on the atomar frequency level.
Still, of all the bad models in the world, Germany is at least trying to improve - which I really don't see in the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
The one thing America need to change is political not doable: A complete overhaul of the voting system and the way political parties are funded. Let's say, you need to take out money out of politics.
What you need to understand all over Europe politics are not privately funded. America is only privately funded, what is more, a business, even a public business, and use their money to skew politics. I can't make that more clear. Politics with two parties only, and privately funded by Business Interests, automatically leads to business taking all. The American Dream is exactly that, a Dream... not the reality.
Nothing will change until you do. And that means you are going to stay in Germany.
I couldn't agree more - the two-party political system is really reaching is breaking point in the USA. They desperately need more parties and completely overhaul campaign finances. As it is now, politicians are slaves to big businesses and anyone with enough money to make them do their bidding. They do not serve the needs of the people anymore - they are not public servants. They are corporate slaves.
Do you know what is "kindkrank" in Germany? 🙂If your child is sick, as an employee you can stay at home and take care of your child.
Just a technical thing: When you're in the "two people in front of camera talking" setup, I think you should mix the mic audio input to a mono track in the editing process, as you get weird effects when one of the mics is being positioned partly behind some "obstacle" like a shoulder or a fold in the clothing ,or when it's catching more from what's also on the other mic's channel. It then feels like something got stuffed into the viewers ear.
When Kevin turns his head towards your mic it suddenly sounds fully stereo, and when he turns back to look into the camera, on channel drops off dramatically.
Best would be if you'd have ONE more "pro" mic standing or hanging at the camera position, right underneath the lens.
So mix them both together into one channel and make that appear on both left and right final audio channels.
We say, like Africans, it takes a whole village to raise a child.
I'm honestly so shocked about the spanking in the US. I have been to the US so often, but have never even considered that it is still normal there in order to raise or educate a child.
Here in Germany it's a sign of weakness if that's the only way you can teach your child. It's so off limits. Yelling is similarly unpopular. Parents might get impatient and will have a word with their children about proper behaviour, but just yelling (as in verbal abuse) is so extremely shocking if witnessed.
But I guess if you live in a society where you constantly have to hustle in order to live, there's just no time to teach children in a peaceful manner.
You hit the nail on the head with that last sentence - "when you have to hustle in order to live." And that is the prevailing energy there. We feel such a big difference here in Germany. People still work hard here, but when they are off of work, they are off. And they a right to time off. Germans work hard but also take their time off seriously. There's a much better work/life balance here and parents can be less stressed, so less yelling. And I so agree with you that spanking our children really reflects badly on the parents. That we have so little skills to work with a very small person that we must resort to violence? We are the ones with fully developed brains who know how to behave - the responsibility is on US as the adults, not the kids.
Spanking is getting less and less normal. Any kind of punishment towards your child is frowned upon from many parents nowadays. I talked about putting my daughter in a cool down area for 2 minutes at a parenting group and parents there flipped out. Apparently sending your kid to an area to cool down damages children mentally.
I'm curious (and maybe also a little to lazy to google it right now upsi) about the opening times of your kita. Bc I heard that in the former west Germany it's a joke meaning they only open a few hours and close around 12.30. Is that true in your own experience in Bavaria?
(I mean you're lucky to have one parent being able to work from home but how do parents of other families are even able to work, it sounds impossible that both parents can work)
So I'm from east Germany thus having both parents work full-time was an absolute usual thing throughout the ddr period which influenced our working culture till today. Our kitas here (over generalized, ofc there are always exceptions) usually open at around 7:00 Uhr (some rarely kitas even 6.30, a few also a little later at 7.30) and they close at around 16.30-17.00. So if these short short kinda ridiculous opening times in the south west are actually true... I'm flabbergasted.
Other than that have a relaxing Sunday : )
For families with low income there is also the option of getting a special ticket from the city or county. This ticket guarantees free entrance to some attractions and museums as well as public pools. And nearly every sports club and a lot of summer camps have a "Förderverein" that pays the fees, trainings and equipment for children when their families can't afford it.
Oh that’s awesome!
My parents (and yours?) had to learn to take cover in school due to the threat of Japan bombing us. My parents promised us that we wouldn't have to suffer through a nuclear war because we lived so close to Boeing, we'd be the first to go and (South) Seattle would have no survivors. That was a great comfort to us kids. (Not)
Yeah good point! And if children are ever going to be under threat, it should be because it comes from another country and NOT from their fellow citizens. The whole thing is insane - it’s gone way too far and common sense is not being used.
I don't know if there's law about that, but no one would call the police on neighbours having sex (unless they are a real jerk) in Germany. It's a difference if someone is having a party too loud that might go on for hours or if someone is enjoying themselves too much. Let's be honest, they are probably done after 20 minutes, unless they are really lucky. ;)
😂😂 so funny! And true - unless they are really lucky they are done after 20 minutes!
Its funny how you say "middle class families". In Ireland and i think alot of Europe we dont consider "class". That is a very american thing. Due to the benefits you mention in Europe - it does away with a class system in society because everyone is more equal
That is awesome!! Love to hear that.
Looking not all that far back, the situation for parenting was not great at all in West Germany. Much better in the East, actually. After 1989, the birth rate became so low that the policies you are mentioning such as parental leave were introduced despite a lot of resistance especially from Bavarian politicians.
Glad do to know those politicians didn’t succeed!
So interesting. Glad do to know those politicians didn’t succeed!
Germany is home to the European Field Hamster, but the pets are, as stated Syrian Hamsters, often called Gold Hamsters.
Importantly, since 2000 under German child protection laws also psychological violence like shaming and threatening is illigal.
§ 1631 BGB: "Children have the right to a non-violent upbringing. Physical punishment, mental injuries and other degrading measures are not permitted"
Even better! What an awesome law. How is it enforced? Because the kids have had a harsh teacher or two here in school in Germany who say things like - you're a disappointment - when their homework isn't finished. Those kinds of comments are so harmful and totally unnecessary.
Listening to your video it's even harder to bear that so many Germans are complaining about everything and how awful life is here in this country. It always makes me so angry. So your perspective is really eye opening.
Yes and some really like to comment that we are making Germany seem too perfect. Hahaha, can't win on RUclips! We understand that NO country is perfect, that's impossible. But Germany is a great country and there is a lot for Germans to be very proud of here.
It's important to keep fighting. So much has changed for the better in the last ten years alone, but i wouldn't have if people were compliant. When my child was little the age you could claim a Kindergartenplatz was 3, which made it really hard to find a job or get back to work. And that's really not that long ago.
We still put mothers at a disadvantage regarding their career and retirement provision!
We still struggle with educational equity! The statistics for academic success of working class children are still terrible.
Well, I took one year off after our son was 1 year old. The first year i worked, the second my wife. In diesem zweiten Lebensjahr war ich Hausmann, 24 stunden für meinen Sohn da. Heute ist mein Sohn 21 Jahre alt und wir haben eine wundervolle beziehung, obwohl die EHE lange geschieden ist. VÄTER! Es bringt Euch nicht nur näher zu Euren Kindern, sondern lässt Euch in demut erstarren vor der Arbeit die "Hausfrauen" leisten...
Would love you to remake this video when you have been through the teenage years four times. Hold on to your seats ....
Ich liebe eure Videos, denn sie rücken meine Ansichten und Selbstverständlichkeiten immer wieder ins rechte Licht.
Aber ich muss es einfach erwähnen: auch in Deutschland passieren schlimme Dinge und nicht jeder Fremde ist ein Freund.
Even though my englishteacher used to say: a stranger is a friend you haven´t met.
Vielen dank 💕
I just talked with my husband how much being a child in Germany has changed since we were children in the 70s.
Note: I come from the Rhine-Rhur-area…not a cozy village like yours. 😉
I hardly see younger children playing outside without parents around. We played outside with our friends until we had to go to dinner.
Lots of people bring their children to primary school and then stand outside watching them until they go into their classes. My mother walked one or two times with me, then I had to show her the way on my own and I went to school alone (same for my classmates).
Even though it is not as bad as in the States I see that children have less opportunities today just to be children (without parents hanging around all the time) and to be independent than it was in my childhood.
When I was a child we simply went to the house where our friends lived, rang the bell and asked whether they can come out playing. Today parents have to make appointments with each other for play dates.
I know times change, but I really wish todays children would have more opportunities for independence and we would allow them to make their own experience….including failure.
But nevertheless it is nice that you appreciate the benefits Germany has for families.
What is most shocking for me about the States is your health care system. It is unbelievable that something essential like health care depends on the company you work for and is not the same for everyone.
Yeah after seeing how well universal healthcare can work in so many other countries, it’s ridiculous that so many are still afraid of it. The Cold War had a huge impact on that - it made Americans so afraid of anything that seems like socialism - even the things that are good. And what they still don’t realize is these things are socialism at all, but a social democracy. Totally different!!
Just FYI FMLA is only for people who work for companies with at least 50 employees, and only if you have worked in the job for at least a year (not 100% sure about the year mark, but there is a time)... And btw all that you talked is about the selfishness and individualism of American society... Yes I know not everyone is like that, but overall the mentality is "you had kids, why should my taxes help you"... As if kids aren't the future of the country, and raising them well doesn't benefit all of us! Same with healthcare, "why should my taxes pay for your medications", without realizing all of us will need healthcare at one point or another 🤦🏻♀️
Yes exactly! You’re so right about the mindset. It’s very short-sighted and individualistic. And yes - the FMLA is only for those working in companies of 50 or more people. It’s so basic of a law it’s barely helpful.
Aber Deine Ausbildung in den USA und das Gebiet in dem Du arbeitest macht Dich sowohl in den USA als auch in Deutschland zu einem privilegierten Bürger. Alleinerziehende mit nur einem Highschool Abschluss oder in Deutschland in Hauptschulabschluss haben auch hier große Probleme sich selbst und das Kind zu versorgen. Gerade Mieten in Frankfurt, München, Berlin und Hamburg so hoch, dass es nicht möglich ist als Verkäuferin eine Wohnung mit 2-3 Zimmer zu mieten. Hier muss der Staat oft helfen.
Grewing up in the mid 90s in Germany everyone tells you: "Oh, America is a great country. You can reach everything" and during the last 10 years I realized that this is just a dream they teach people in the US, to not recognize that they live in one of the socialy poorest countries in the world. I also never thought about all these things the state gives us mothers by law in Germany until I became a mother myself 5 years ago. But it is true, this is very welcoming.
Yes! In this way, women are treated much better here than in he US.
“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.” George Carlin
Thankfully Museums are free in Uk. Unless it’s a very very unusual exhibition.
I've watched some videos on helicopter parenting and that in the states neighbours stateside can report you to child protection services if you let your kids play unattended on the front garden. How crazy is that? People seem to be so worried about security and kids possibly gettin abducted. It hasn't necessarily gotten more dangerous, but in this social media day and age where everything gets posted, re-posted and shared people perceive the danger as very extreme. What a life we had as kids, running around the streets, into the fields and forests and we knew to be back home when it got dark or at a certain time. But these days also in Germany parents are constantly hovering above their kids like a hen sitting atop of her chicks. I've also watched some videos about some Canadian guy and he was on about the zoning of cities over there compared to Europe, there was hardly any mixed use zoning aka having a supermarket within a housing estate or schools, so one needs a car for everything and kids cannot walk to school or anywhere else on their own. Regarding the prices and reductions of prices my granny always told me that back in the 50's and 60's big families like them (5 kids) always got free passes to the zoo or local swimming pool and that even more was done for families with kids. "Stranger danger"also exists in Germany where you are being taught to be careful with strangers and not go with anyone, even if they are offering you sweets or puppies or whatever
Sunday morning. Time for enlarging my personal horizon. On a very uncommon but entertaining way 👍😄.
Thank you for coming to Germany and for your ongoing stories on your YT channel !
Guten Morgen, Klaus!! Thanks for watching!
Paternal leave is definitely taken in the Province of Quebec, Canada. This varies from province to province, but Quebec is likely the most progressive and currently has the most affordable child care. As a result, very few mothers quit their job in the province of Quebec. Thankfully, this system is now being spread to the entire country.
In the UK as a teacher or healthcare professional you can have a yr off for maternity leave with 6 months full pay. But childcare is ridiculously expensive. Wish we were still in Europe 😢
We try to help the children to do the right thing because they know it is right. You reach this much better without spanking but if you use other means to help children to behave properly.
Yes! Totally agree. We have to show them the behavior we want to see.
"There were a few shootings in the town..." wtf. Even hearing this sentence makes me shiver as a German. It never ever should sound so normal
You are so right - and we didn’t even think about that as we said it!! This is how normal gun violence has become in the US. So normal that regular shootings aren’t a bad thing anymore.
Omg Germany is great for children! Some of your points are blowing my mind. Makes me really think twice about raising kids here in America. I recently acquired Austrian citizenship, so this is actually a possibility for me. Thanks for making a great video.
Oh it would be interesting to see how it’s done in Austria - hopefully some Austrians will comment below.
I more and more realize how lucky we are in Germany when it comes to raising kids. We use to complain so often but we should be grateful for what is good and improve what could be better. But to add my 2 cents on this discussion: think one reason reason why we have this support system for parents and families (at least financially spoken) in the end also is due to the „Rentensystem“ (pension system) which is built on the fact that children are needed to keep it running.
In Switzerland you get much less. And that is a new law. On the other hand, you pay much more taxes then in Switzerland. so there is a pro / con...it is def. more social in germany. In Switzerland ab big word ist "Selbstverantwortung": Furhter, we have privat have child care support only. Very expensive - erverybody pays the same, rich / poor....Germans want everything to be organized by the govnerment. We dont.
I think it's interesting that you pay a lot more taxes in Switzerland but have less social benefits than in Germany. What are your taxes providing for you?
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife we do NOT pay more taxes in Switzerland then in Germany. Muss less actually. „Normal“ families pay 1/10th of the annual income..
I've been fox hunting once and now I'm married! Haha! Actually no joke as the lastname of my wife was "Fuchs" - until we married! :-) So actually: "Foxy Lady" XD
Oh too funny!
Re: Spanking - my parents never spanked us in the moment we were misbehaving, they told us we'd crossed the line and at 6 PM or whatever we'd be getting a spanking. They didn't want to do it while angry at us. We didn't need many spankings, the possibility of it occuring kept us in line. SOOO glad I'll never have to deal with that myself, I'm sure I wouldn't have the self control to keep it together with a tantruming kid.
My parents would do that, too, and it made it even scarier that I had to wait Tyler rest of the day for my spanking! I just lived in fear for longer.
33:10 - then they turn 18 and buy two AR-15 ... USA Drill to be the richest, Drill to be the strongest
Yeah it’s unthinkable. No one should be buying AR-15’s, let alone 18 year olds.
I too think children should be allowed to be what they are in public.That loud and playful bunch... Most of the time i wont even consider this "noise" and it will rather make me smile than feel disturbed. But i must say... I've found myself in situations where i thought "why are these parents not even trying to tell their kids that (for example) they are not the only people in this restaurant?" I mean my parents as children were expected to keep their mouths shut at the table at all times and i think that was wrong. But on the other hand i think children have to learn that there are other people around who might want to enjoy their meal, their flight or whatever in a calm atmosphere. And i'm sure children are capable of understanding this.
Yeah I agree - kids playing outside is totally appropriate. But inside a store or restaurant, or even on a train, we still ask our kids to be calm and if they can’t be calm, we go walk around with them outside until they get some energy out. I don’t want my children to disturb an adult’s nice, relaxing dinner. So the respect goes both ways and there is a happy medium, I think.
I do not know about the US, but I was really astonished in the UK. In our hotel children were not allowed to go to the pool in certain hours. Reason: Not to bother adult guests. This would not be possible in Germany.
Oh interesting! There are adult swim times at neighborhood pools in the US, which were very hard to wait through as a kid. But also a good time to go to the toilet or eat a snack. 😆
Natürlich gibt es das schon lange. Finde ich auch gut. Kinder sind nun mal laut das ist völlig normal. Deshalb gibt es auch eigene Kinderpools und Kinderhotels wo Erwachsene UND Kinder betreut werden. Kevin und Sarah waren schon zweimal in so einem Hotel in Galtür und am Achensee und sie waren so begeistert dass sie sogar Videos hochgeladen haben.
@@alluresoftheseas2999 I have four children and I am also a sports teacher and I have never seen that children are excluded. But of course you cant swim if there are special events. Does make sense.
@@ingevonschneider5100 generally speaking you're 100% right but we indeed have some specific assigned,, no children areas" here in Germany too. But these places are obvious signed to adults and are usually things like adult hotels or areas which are inappropriate for children to walk around after 10p.m
What a lot of US public pools do is they have 5 minutes every hour where kids aren't allowed in the pool. This is to give lifeguards a break and see the bottom of the pool without splashing, waves, kids being thrown, etc. It also gives adult patrons a break from children. Now for hotels some hotel pools have an adult only pool and a kid only pool. The adult only pool sometimes has a bar and sometimes a top less area. Yes some areas and people in the US aren't afraid of nudity. Only giant resorts like Margaritaville Hotel will have thr kid and adult pools. Hotels like Motel 6 won't have separate pools and they don't have a certain time when kids can't swim. They generally stay open late (1 am) so naturally kids aren't swimming.
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Regarding the noise restrictions: They used to apply to children, too. We weren't allowed to play outside between 12 and 14:30, and not after 7. (That was in the 70's)
My mother in-law in France was always embarrassed about how loud my children were outside in her garden. They were just used to the fact that it was okay to play like they wanted to.
German children are more independent, that is true. In French supermarkets my kids would enjoy having their own miniature cart and occasionally cruise over to the next aisle, whereas the French children would hold on to Mommy's cart.
And on class trips French students always nicely stay together as a group, whereas the German students run off all the time because "they had just had to do something really quick" (usually to buy food).
And as a teacher in the US, you think three times about doing a class trip, because of the legal responsibility involved.
I think it is very sad to see that you feel you have to duck down, daring to mention that gunviolence and therefore gunavailability in general in the US may be directly connected to the safety of your children. I think this is telling a lot about the situation. Sad but true.😔
Yeah it’s so sad 😞.
nses are free for a certain grade of bad eye, not in general.
It is true that the mother’s job is protected by law and this is fantastic…on paper. What happens in reality is that the mother’s job sometimes does not exist anymore when she is ready to return to the working force. It has been filled by an other person or the company has restructured. While the company is required by law to employ the mother again they often give the mother a new job which is often less appealing. This is not allowed by law but still happens. Or they offer the mother a severance package and don’t employ her again at all. Afterwards it is hard to apply for a job at a new company because you have this huge gap in your resume and a young child at home which of course means that you will miss work in the near future because of sick days.
The law is great on paper but mothers often have to fight for it.
Is this in Germany or the USA?
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Germany
That schools in USA physically punish children shocks me!!
Right!! It’s criminal. It’s child abuse.
I am wondering if you would be willing to make a video about the whole firearms rights and violence topic with the emphasis on the US society and why there is almost no will to something about it. I think your point of view on the topic is particularly interesting because you have lived in the US and now live in Europe to compare both.
That would be a fascinating video to do. It’s such a hot topic in the US and gun rights activists could really attack our video, so honestly, km afraid to talk about it! But it’s insane - the school shooting in Texas was the 200th mass shooting in 2022. What?! Democrats have been trying hard to make change happen when it comes to gun regulation and they are stopped by Republicans every time. The NRA has a LOT of power. It’s scary.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife it’s obviously a sensitive topic, that’s why I was wondering if you would even consider to tackle the topic. It’s kind of the discussion about the speed limit here in Germany where there a many people opposed to it (me included) where those who want to keep the status quo (at least from my perception) argue with the same passion as the gun advocates. That would be kind of a fair point, but the designed purpose of fast driving cars is not to harm somebody, to provide some analogy.
What kind of attacks do you expect?
The most important recource Germany has are good trained and healthy people. Germany was going, like northern countries, a way away from totally exploiting workers. The US is still on hire and fire and all things are moneytized. So, the pressure on people is very high to get the next Dollar out of desparity to pay for their needs. Capitalism, let us call what it is, in Germany is different when it comes to how it approaches people. The old way, where capitalism wears workers out until they break, was considered as not effective anymore. And it is not! Healthy and "happy" worker/people are much more productive in the long run. Workers often stay with their company a whole work-life. And the state makes sure that kids are cared for from young age. Is this system improveable, of course! But as a concept as such is much more preferable than that aggressive exeptionalism in the US, for sure. And it is not like so that people in Germany are pampered and supposed to sleep in a social care "Hängematte". Some Amerikans may think so, but that is not the case! I hope the US get finally a grip on these things and improve its social care and workers rights, as it was going once in the 30th til the 50th. It was once a shining light, but neoliberal exceptionalism destroyed these efforts.
Loved everything you wrote! Especially that last sentence - “neoliberal exceptionalism” and an unhealthy relationship with capitalism are really bringing American down. We have a phrase in English - and your English is excellent so you probably already know it - “pride comes before the fall.” And the arrogance that’s in the US will be their downfall if they don’t turn it around.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Oh, thank you very much! 🤗 Yes, you're right with your thoughts! I think it's a dangerous situation in the US, because it lays the ground for extremism like we already see. All this could lead to the worst, because certain groups and politicians take advantage of desperate people. Thank you for saying my English is good 😃, I actually had no English in school and learned it by myself when listening to only English contents on RUclips 😆. I have still to learn grammar and words used to describe certain topics. I made still mistakes, but yeah I'm comfort in listening and understanding, writing not so much. And I'm a middle aged guy who needs some time to get "it". 🙄😅. I love your views, not because you're highlighting Germany, but because you even see the need for improvements. You two are a bit exeptional for a US couple, I must say. I love your contents, it's refreshing to listen to you both! I hope you get more and more comfort living in a cultural different country with people with different mindsets. It's not every time a pleasure approaching Germans, I know that. Your kids will grow in it anyway. So, have fun here in Germany and don't let you get down by the obstacles you certainly will face over time here in Germany. You certainly are a enrichment for our society!!
the US look to me more and more not like a first world country. more like 2nd or 3rd world country.
There was a time when the US led the world in democracy and people flocked there because of it. But then after WWII, Europe drastically changed and began progressing faster than the US. Now the US has a lot of catching up to do, if they will ever do it, I’m not sure…
First off: great video as always. Wonderful intro, beautiful blooms, lovely scenes.
I don't want to rain on your parade but Germany, while 'nominally' secular, has strong Christian traditions. Yes, in many areas a woman becoming a mother still is expected to become a homemaker, taking care of the children, as per certain biblical traditions. The more rural the areas the more 'traditional conservative' these societal norms still are.
But that has become less and less the norm. Now it is more a 'choose your life' situation. That does not mean that EVERY woman will be able to retain her job, if she is unable to find sufficient childcare in her area should she want to return to her job after her parental leave and mother's protection time is over. The number of KiTa spaces for kids are, unfortunately, somewhat limited. Which is often criticized by local parties in (county) election run-ups/ Gemeindewahlen, often rightly so. But in many areas it will be possible, after some serious searching, to find a KiTa place for your kids in case you want to work again. While the KiTas are not free they are still a lot more affordable than in the USA.
Moose hunting during paternal leave, lol 😂
Nope, foxes are more or less a protected species in Germany.
Wild boar hunting more likely, followed fairly close by deer.
Deutsche Bahn offers family tickets, including up to four kids up to the age of 14 in them for free with the Super Sparpreis PER TICKET, if they are accompanied by a care-giver of at least age 15 (who has to pay the ticket price). So with two parents paying the ticket price, you could have up to eight children up to the age of 14 traveling for free in the DB.
Agreed, that limits the parents and kids to take EXACTLY that train, not be fully flexible in their choice of trains, but heck, with a plane that's ALWAYS the deal. Kids up to and including the age of 5 are always free. If you intend to take the train inside Germany more than twice, anywhere, it is recommendable to get the Bahncard 25 or 50, which is on top of the lower price of the Super Sparpreis tickets.
The saying goes in German "Es braucht ein Dorf, um Kinder groß zu bekommen." / "It requires a village to raise kids."
That's pretty much the idea behind Germany. You CAN'T possibly do EVERYTHING on your own, raising your kids. You can't (and shouldn't) supervise your kids 24/7.
While others should not interfere in your style of raising your kids, they should offer help, and even take care of kids if they are unsupervised. Not intrusively, but just with a watchful eye, from the distance, they should be available should help be required.
But still let kids make their own choices, even possibly get hurt when falling.
Without minor accidents kids won't learn to respect true dangers, nor will they be able to detect a true danger if they never faced even the most minor dangers. Yes, nobody wants children to be hurt seriously, not even Germans. But we (or at least many) accept that a childhood without scraped knees, or a bloody nose, a few splinters, maybe even a minor fracture, wasn't a childhood; it was a constrictive gilded cage with cotton wool swaddling. Kids are actually a LOT tougher than many adults give them credit for.
Hehe, that sex at night with accompanying noise: first off, kudos that you've become so Germanized that you have no (or so little) qualms talking about sex on a public video. You are getting there.
I've had that experience not as a participant, but as a listener in Düsseldorf. It was a hot, a sweltering hot, summer's night, everybody in the apartment block had their windows open to get even the slightest draft of cool air. When around 11 pm / 23 Uhr a couple quite obviously had good, long sex, with an obviously very satisfactory ending around midnight. The noises bounced back and forth through the back courtyard, giving everyone full audio participation. Judging by the noise source it had to be on the fourth of fifth floor. Nobody shouted out for quiet, but somebody next morning gave the only known couple in that block from the fourth floor a good-natured wink, and a thumbs up; much to their embarassment, I suppose.
I don't know about actual laws, but I suppose the cops would not do anything, really, unless it was a constant, late night occurence with high audio levels.
BTW: kudos, your German pronunciation is getting better and better.
See, didn't we all tell you? It will take time and practice, but you WILL eventually get there.
German is not a simple language to learn, and all (reasonable) Germans appreciate the effort it takes to get into it.
Keep it up! 👍
Love your comments, thanks for sharing! So funny we become more Germanized by talking about sex in a public video - so true!
Besides Parental or Maternal Leave what I think is really important to mention is the "Mutterschutz", Maternity Protection. In this time a pregnant woman is not even allowed to work, she is supposed to rest. I think it starts 4 weeks before the due date and ends 4 weeks after the birth (and then for most women Maternal Leave will start) with 100% pay. I was shook when my american hostmom told me, that her water broke while she was working.
We do have the "Vätermonate", Fathermonths. 2 Months of Paternity Leave that can only be taken by the fathers to encourage them to use some of the Paternity Leave and as far as I have seen most fathers take those 2 months but not more. It is getting more and more normal for fathers to take a couple of months, maybe even half a year, but I would say that still in most families the mother will take a year and the father only the extra two months. But in general I get the impression that german fathers are a lot more involved in their childrens lives then most american fathers.
Interesting thing about glasses for kids: I actually got all glasses free until I was 18. The lenses were paid by insurance and the frame was free for kids in the shop we used to buy my glasses.
And about places being walkable: I totally agree. I´m German and I lived in Texas as an Au Pair. And not only did it annoy me that I was dependent on a car, the fact that the children were dependent on an adult wit a car absolutely made clear to me, that I would not like to raise a child there. There is actualy a really great RUclips Channel called "Not Just Bikes". It´s a Canadian guy who moved to the Netherlands. He mostly talks about infrastructure but also other things that just work better in the Netherlands. A lot of those things are simular to how it´s done in Germany (although the Dutch are always a little better then we are :D).
I really would like a video where you talk about the things you think are better (for kids) in the US. I didn´t want to seem that negative in my comment, but there actually isn´t really anything that comes to my mind.
Yeah we do mention Mutterschutz in the next video, but I didn’t know that about the two months of paternity leave! That’s awesome! Yeah things that are better in the USA for kids. I’m sure there are some but none that are coming to mind at the moment. More shopping malls? 🤪
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Also worth mentioning that Mutterschutz with 50% pay compensation existed even before WW1. Goes back to the healthcare act of 1883, though unpaid at that time...
With the couples I know, the fathers have actually taken their share of parental leave, and nobody regretted it. I know a friend of mine particular liked the time where her leave and her husbands' overlapped (whcih they planned that way) and they could really take time to bond with their child together and become a functioning family.
Also, kinda impressed with the way you pronounced Kinderförderungsgesetz!
Okay good to know! Thanks for sharing. Yeah, Kevin really nailed the pronunciation, didn’t he?!
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife In an US social-report (I do not remember if it was with Michael Moore or in "Food Inc") was pointed out a big problem in the USA: Big fast food-chains (Mc Donald's, Burger King ect) are often the only ones in big cities providing properly playgrounds for kids. But that has nothing to do with humanity or social conscience but with customer retention in the youngest target group... 🤔🍔
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife He did. The ö and the s between the two gs are often overlooked and pronouncing them right makes such a difference. Good job!
The problem with laisser faire (doing nothing, let it be) education of children, is that it does not set boundaries, which creates problem people later in life. The problem with an education that focuses on telling what is wrong, is that it creates socially awkward people and other problems - perfectionists and more. The problem with loads of praise and rewards is that kids become reward junkies and get frustrated when there is no explicit reward that is easily recognized.
We will have to self-motivate them by showing them what is best, what is expected, how to in all (most) walks of life. And it is easier for child A to be taught what is expected when parent B discusses that expectation with person C in the presence of A, than A being lectured about it. Note that for high testosterone boys it may be easier to accept a slap than to be lectured as this feels like being talked down and put to shame. And this may be similar for most girls. No I'm not in favor of undoing laws that make spanking illegal, but we have to be careful to not throw the baby away with the bath water.
The problem with "slapping" is that children learn to react to problems with violence. What you "slap" a grown up when you are not happy with his/her behaviour? And why don't you do it? Yes - because you are afraid of repercussions. So you only slap kids because they cannot fight back.
@@susanneanna2421 - I'm not saying children should be slapped, don't turn my words around. The problem is that from a frustration/aggression education model most parents have evolved into laisser faire. And that is also a problem.
I can agree with you there - I think all parents now are trying our best to learn how to work with our children without fear and shame, hitting and violence. And it's honestly a big learning curve since this is new for society to parent this way. So I think a balance will be found in the future.
Hey Sarah, Hey Kevin, i Hope you answer of my questions: What think your own familys ther live in the USA for your Content of RUclips? Your own little family in Germany, makes all days more and more new interesting different experience. Your ideas, personalitys at your allday works are different as for 3 yaers ago.....it's difficult for you when you visit the usa with your new personality and Handling?
I Hope you anderstand me, sorry my schoolenglish arent the best:-(....
Best wishes Melanie from Ostfriesland
Hi Melanie! Yeah so Kevin's family shares many of our beliefs about how a society should run, so it's not awkward with them. My family has different beliefs - we all love each other and know that we have different political beliefs. We do engage in conversations about it sometimes when we are together, as everyone stays respectful and kind. There are many intelligent people on both sides of our families so we can really have some interesting discussions. We all keep our relationship the main priority - relationship over politics. :)