This is absolutely ridiculous. I get having a dress code, but that dress code should refer to the level of attire not the specific item. With the exception of saying hey don’t wear a wedding dress, telling women not to wear pants is misogynistic and definite bridezilla overreach
I totally agree. Your sister is being rude and condescending over a minor issue. I would not go to the wedding and cut contact with her. Clearly she does not respect you or your girlfriend. You do not need her in your life. I would also go NC with anyone that supports your sister's ridiculous behaviour and attitude. Family does not treat family like this.
this is your sister's wedding, and she has the right to chose a dress code. however you and your girlfriend have the right to not go if you do not feel comfortable. so, the final decision will be up to you and your girlfriend. neither one of you are wrong in your feelings.
Everyone’s mentioning the dress code but clearly dresses wasn’t part of it if they felt like her suit was perfect originally. I’m not saying OP pushes back, but clearly the sister doesn’t like gf doesn’t fit her expectations
NTA and don't go. She can make stupid rules for her wedding since it is her wedding, but she also has ro understand that that means some people will not attend due to those rules. Plus this is an established pattern of disrespect and exclusion, and you need to stand up for your gf.
This feels very targeted so ops feeling are valid. It’s ops sister so I’d just go to the wedding and only stay for the ceremony, then have leala put on the suit and go out to a nice dinner
NTA. It is perfectly reasonable for your sister to set a dress code of suits and dresses. It isn't reasonable for her to insist that women can't wear suits. Like, thats a dress code rule my high school had, and then changed in 2015. Your sister is way behind the times. Also, refering to Layla as your "companion" even after you've corrected her multiple times is homophobic. Skip the wedding, plan a nice date with Layla for that day!
I mean, I suppose she gets to say it…free country/1st Amendment and what not. What she, the sister, isn’t free of is the fallout of being a racist and homophobic a-hole . The sister has every right to not go. She also has every right to tell all her relatives and family friends, as well as random people who may her sister has invited-ALL of those who are -exactly why she and her girlfriend wont be attending said wedding. She also needs to tell the groom. And the from s men. And their families too. I’m sure they know and love gay people on that side too. I’d post about it and raise every privacy setting on every social media platform. Maybe post copies in the town forum pages. Editorial in the paper? Perhaps. Paper and Forums of the grooms hometown? A full page add telling others why, that too! Lots of DMs may go out form some random accounts somewhere. I’d let them know all the dirt on why the sister is a nasty homophobe who is trying to keep her sister’s girlfriend from her wedding intentionally.. because that is exactly what she’s doing. And what the parents are allowing. I’d even consider adding 3-4 different forms of social media accounts to my name too…specifically for the info to be put out to everyone invited. (And those left out for being gay too, probably). If I had a cousin or friend getting married, who was also behaving this way to her sister’s partner, I’d want to know! Why? So as not to go as well. And help spread the world. And help my cousin throw an alternate event that is welcoming and loving. As would half my family. And most of my friends…and many of my sisters’ friends too (small towns). It would be our right to exercise our right to…not assemble at her wedding (or assemble elsewhere at a restaurant in town and post it all over social media with Layla and OP and other family and friends-at the same time-who will no longer put up with this sort of BS from the sister-or those like her. And I’d tag the sister at the alternate event. Over and over. So her phone would ding and ding with our pictures all while she waited for all the people who wouldn’t show up. I bet she’d love the “vibe” then. If she’s acted like this toward her own sister and Layla, I guarantee she has with other relatives and friends as well. Sister has a big lesson coming to her. We need to stop letting people get away with hate and hatefulness for the sake of “keeping the peace.” I think OP has every right to let everyone know why she won’t be at her nasty bridezilla sister’s wedding. So, OP isn’t wrong either in not going (and burning half her sister’s world/wedding to the ground and embarrassing her in the process). But then again, I’ve been in 10 weddings. Only one woman who I’d classify as “bridezilla” out of that group is still married. I should have burned 4 of those weddings to the ground (and saved a lot of people a lot of grief). That friend’s bridezillaness wasn’t grounded in hate either-just stress from her Mom. More of them-these women- need their weddings burned to the ground and destroyed. Maybe they’d stop being such nasty humans (before and during the planning of their weddings) if we did so more often. (Or they can live in fear of it happening. Or even constant fear of having consequences for their hate in general). Not that my sister would do this. She wouldn’t. She’d be the other cousin ( of half) not showing up and posting about the gay friendly event. Maybe it’s because we have family in Mississippi? Or are all families in need of those who’d take a stand to their relatives, Either way, OPs sister sucks and I hope OP lets every one know why. Oh, including the groom (I’m sure there are gay people on his side of the family too…). I have no mercy for homophobia, misogyny, and racism anymore. Not even a little. (And those who prop their hate up). Not anymore. Let their events crash and burn.
Is this Dress Code stated on the invitation. I'm thinking that it isn't. I wouldn't go to the wedding. I don't care what the rest of the family says. Although I would confront my parents on why they think it's okay for sister to treat my gal like that.
Yes, you are wrong. Your sister has every right to establish a dress code for her wedding, and it is completely reasonable for her to say that women need to wear dresses. And it's a completely reasonable dress code too. This is a formal occasion, and formal wear for women means dresses, not suits. Being neurodivergent in no way excuses you from following social conventions. And if your girlfriend has a problem with following an altogether reasonable social convention in order to accommodate someone else's special occasion, then your girlfriend is the problem here.
Women have worn suits for a while now. Yes, bridezilla has the right to set ridiculous rules for her wedding, but that also means that people decide to not go because of them. But this is also clearly part of a larger pattern of the sister being rude and disrespectful to OP and her girlfriend.
first, autism isn't the only neurodivergent disorder. secondly, op continued to refer to layla as her girlfriend, so yes, op would say that companion isn't the proper word. neurodivergent doesn't mean dumb.
@@shyveslxv you can't have it both ways. Stop using neurodivergent as an excuse for not being able to read social ques in the room, but claim to know how the word "companion" is being used in that same room?
@@ketienne1021that literally makes no sense. People can be socially unaware but know how words work and what they mean to them. You sound kind of abilist. She said she’s ND because she couldn’t tell if her sisters behavior was normal for a wedding, not how she treats the gf in general
@@ketienne1021 yes you can. you can be autistic and have a PhD, you can also be completely fine and end up homeless. and companion isn't some shakespearean word. it's literally a simple english term used in conversation. find a better argument instead of basically saying in a roundabout way "neurodivergent means stupid"
@@ketienne1021 and also, neurodivergence is a spectrum. even if they were autistic, they could be high functioning autistic, which means they don't understand social cues, but are intelligent academic wise. social intelligence and book intelligence or, street smart and book smart, are completely different. further, IQ and EQ are two completely different scales. you can't measure a person's IQ using an EQ scale. just like you can't just a person's grasp on a language based on their social understanding. Wikipedia has an in-depth article about autism, neurodivergence, ADHD and everything. an ignorant person like you probably won't check them, but if you ever feel like not being an ableist fool, check them out.
This is absolutely ridiculous. I get having a dress code, but that dress code should refer to the level of attire not the specific item. With the exception of saying hey don’t wear a wedding dress, telling women not to wear pants is misogynistic and definite bridezilla overreach
I totally agree. Your sister is being rude and condescending over a minor issue. I would not go to the wedding and cut contact with her. Clearly she does not respect you or your girlfriend. You do not need her in your life. I would also go NC with anyone that supports your sister's ridiculous behaviour and attitude. Family does not treat family like this.
this is your sister's wedding, and she has the right to chose a dress code. however you and your girlfriend have the right to not go if you do not feel comfortable. so, the final decision will be up to you and your girlfriend. neither one of you are wrong in your feelings.
Everyone’s mentioning the dress code but clearly dresses wasn’t part of it if they felt like her suit was perfect originally. I’m not saying OP pushes back, but clearly the sister doesn’t like gf doesn’t fit her expectations
NTA and don't go.
She can make stupid rules for her wedding since it is her wedding, but she also has ro understand that that means some people will not attend due to those rules.
Plus this is an established pattern of disrespect and exclusion, and you need to stand up for your gf.
This feels very targeted so ops feeling are valid. It’s ops sister so I’d just go to the wedding and only stay for the ceremony, then have leala put on the suit and go out to a nice dinner
NTA. It is perfectly reasonable for your sister to set a dress code of suits and dresses. It isn't reasonable for her to insist that women can't wear suits. Like, thats a dress code rule my high school had, and then changed in 2015. Your sister is way behind the times. Also, refering to Layla as your "companion" even after you've corrected her multiple times is homophobic. Skip the wedding, plan a nice date with Layla for that day!
!!! yep
So she has every right but it is very bridezilla tho
I mean, I suppose she gets to say it…free country/1st Amendment and what not. What she, the sister, isn’t free of is the fallout of being a racist and homophobic a-hole . The sister has every right to not go. She also has every right to tell all her relatives and family friends, as well as random people who may her sister has invited-ALL of those who are -exactly why she and her girlfriend wont be attending said wedding. She also needs to tell the groom. And the from s men. And their families too. I’m sure they know and love gay people on that side too. I’d post about it and raise every privacy setting on every social media platform. Maybe post copies in the town forum pages. Editorial in the paper? Perhaps. Paper and Forums of the grooms hometown? A full page add telling others why, that too! Lots of DMs may go out form some random accounts somewhere. I’d let them know all the dirt on why the sister is a nasty homophobe who is trying to keep her sister’s girlfriend from her wedding intentionally.. because that is exactly what she’s doing. And what the parents are allowing. I’d even consider adding 3-4 different forms of social media accounts to my name too…specifically for the info to be put out to everyone invited. (And those left out for being gay too, probably). If I had a cousin or friend getting married, who was also behaving this way to her sister’s partner, I’d want to know! Why? So as not to go as well. And help spread the world. And help my cousin throw an alternate event that is welcoming and loving. As would half my family. And most of my friends…and many of my sisters’ friends too (small towns). It would be our right to exercise our right to…not assemble at her wedding (or assemble elsewhere at a restaurant in town and post it all over social media with Layla and OP and other family and friends-at the same time-who will no longer put up with this sort of BS from the sister-or those like her.
And I’d tag the sister at the alternate event. Over and over. So her phone would ding and ding with our pictures all while she waited for all the people who wouldn’t show up. I bet she’d love the “vibe” then. If she’s acted like this toward her own sister and Layla, I guarantee she has with other relatives and friends as well. Sister has a big lesson coming to her. We need to stop letting people get away with hate and hatefulness for the sake of “keeping the peace.” I think OP has every right to let everyone know why she won’t be at her nasty bridezilla sister’s wedding. So, OP isn’t wrong either in not going (and burning half her sister’s world/wedding to the ground and embarrassing her in the process). But then again, I’ve been in 10 weddings. Only one woman who I’d classify as “bridezilla” out of that group is still married. I should have burned 4 of those weddings to the ground (and saved a lot of people a lot of grief). That friend’s bridezillaness wasn’t grounded in hate either-just stress from her Mom. More of them-these women- need their weddings burned to the ground and destroyed. Maybe they’d stop being such nasty humans (before and during the planning of their weddings) if we did so more often. (Or they can live in fear of it happening. Or even constant fear of having consequences for their hate in general). Not that my sister would do this. She wouldn’t. She’d be the other cousin ( of half) not showing up and posting about the gay friendly event.
Maybe it’s because we have family in Mississippi? Or are all families in need of those who’d take a stand to their relatives, Either way, OPs sister sucks and I hope OP lets every one know why. Oh, including the groom (I’m sure there are gay people on his side of the family too…). I have no mercy for homophobia, misogyny, and racism anymore. Not even a little. (And those who prop their hate up). Not anymore. Let their events crash and burn.
Not everyone wants a Tuxedo wearing stud at their OWN PERSONAL WEDDING despite being supportive to the 🌈.
Is this Dress Code stated on the invitation. I'm thinking that it isn't.
I wouldn't go to the wedding. I don't care what the rest of the family says. Although I would confront my parents on why they think it's okay for sister to treat my gal like that.
Her wedding = her rules
Yes, you are wrong. Your sister has every right to establish a dress code for her wedding, and it is completely reasonable for her to say that women need to wear dresses. And it's a completely reasonable dress code too. This is a formal occasion, and formal wear for women means dresses, not suits. Being neurodivergent in no way excuses you from following social conventions. And if your girlfriend has a problem with following an altogether reasonable social convention in order to accommodate someone else's special occasion, then your girlfriend is the problem here.
Women have worn suits for a while now.
Yes, bridezilla has the right to set ridiculous rules for her wedding, but that also means that people decide to not go because of them.
But this is also clearly part of a larger pattern of the sister being rude and disrespectful to OP and her girlfriend.
Dresses are not the only formal things a woman can wear.
@@kitsumekat Exactly
YTA, blaming autism for not seeing GF being discriminated against, but start word policing with the word "companion". Who is she fooling?
first, autism isn't the only neurodivergent disorder. secondly, op continued to refer to layla as her girlfriend, so yes, op would say that companion isn't the proper word. neurodivergent doesn't mean dumb.
@@shyveslxv you can't have it both ways. Stop using neurodivergent as an excuse for not being able to read social ques in the room, but claim to know how the word "companion" is being used in that same room?
@@ketienne1021that literally makes no sense. People can be socially unaware but know how words work and what they mean to them. You sound kind of abilist. She said she’s ND because she couldn’t tell if her sisters behavior was normal for a wedding, not how she treats the gf in general
@@ketienne1021 yes you can. you can be autistic and have a PhD, you can also be completely fine and end up homeless. and companion isn't some shakespearean word. it's literally a simple english term used in conversation. find a better argument instead of basically saying in a roundabout way "neurodivergent means stupid"
@@ketienne1021 and also, neurodivergence is a spectrum. even if they were autistic, they could be high functioning autistic, which means they don't understand social cues, but are intelligent academic wise. social intelligence and book intelligence or, street smart and book smart, are completely different. further, IQ and EQ are two completely different scales. you can't measure a person's IQ using an EQ scale. just like you can't just a person's grasp on a language based on their social understanding. Wikipedia has an in-depth article about autism, neurodivergence, ADHD and everything. an ignorant person like you probably won't check them, but if you ever feel like not being an ableist fool, check them out.