Hello Beautiful Souls! I hope you find this deep dive into the psychology of decluttering the "past" interesting, and the self-analytical exercise to be incredibly helpful! Please take a moment to say hello, subscribe, and share your story if you are comfortable! Have a wonderful week! Much Love, Nena xo
Nena, Thank You for this message! It hit me at the core of a lot of my “clutter”! Many items - some large; some small, are taking up space in closets, drawers, cabinets, the garage, in every room. I’ve been dragging them around, holding onto them for over 50 years! I have my own “Museum of the Past! You’ve helped me see that I hold onto them because they remind me of who I WAS, and have been my way of keeping the past ALIVE. It’s time to let them go and allow fresh air and space for my NOW! How could I ever have let go of life regrets with these sacred-ized items staring at me every day! Bless you for sharing your wisdom!
I'm so glad you found the video helpful, Bett! It is truly transformative when we can get to the core of our clutter! Please keep me posted on your decluttering journey!
Thank you so much for this incredibly deep dive into the psychology underlying my ADHD inspired clutter! I especially appreciate the list of questions that I can use to consider the role my “Stuff” plays in my “clutter-drama”!
I’ve inherited my grandparents Sears&Roebuck Cataloged Home that my grandparents built in 1925. I have too many memories of growing up in their home 🏡. I inherited the home from my mother. I was raised with the Great Depression Era mentality. Save everything you never know when you’re going to need it. Everything was neat and stored in place. I had no idea what was in my grandparents bedroom or my mothers. When I returned from my big life to raise my son I inherited the ancestral 🏡 home. I could not fit my own life into the house and I am surrounded by anxiety and the fear of letting go of the past. I too have wonderful costumes that I made for 💃 dance and my Wonder Woman costume professionally made by me. That was in the late 1970’s!! Go help me! Your videos are very insightful and very informative. I have spent years asking myself many of the questions that you present. Yes I do believe they identify me but I am no longer that woman. I will be 70 years old on 26 June 2022. I have lived a full rich interesting life. Now I am reclusive like Greta Garbo. I love to look at my things and when I dig deeply into my things I find things that I forgot I had. I’m in the beginning stages of doing what you have advised that must be done and I absolutely know this. I am going to watch more of your videos for the strength to carry this drudgery of my journey. What a journey this has been. Somehow I feel that my Wonder Woman Costume should be right next to my Navy WAVE Uniform that I worked for while serving in the military. Wonder Woman was also a Navy WAVE Yeoman and so was I a Yeoman. The exact same uniform too! Perhaps I should do a few magical spins and see if I can pull myself out of this Golden Lasso of precious belongings that I am Psychologically bound to. Thank you ☺️ for sharing your experiences and encouraging knowledge.
HI Aidah! Thank you so much for sharing! I truly hope you find the channel to be helpful! Here is a full playlist on this topic: ruclips.net/p/PLkVTKW7Z-_4z7A3fbz8is8PGmH02qa9oq Please keep me posted!
I certainly appreciate your comment. I was raised (I have been known to get carried away re using the term "brainwashed"...) with the mentality you mentioned. Someone in the house gets so frustrated, frankly, about the point that one of my parents used to save everything (and was teaching me to behave the same way beginning during my childhood) that he sarcastically impersonates by actually saying, "You never know!" Therefore, I have been doing my best to reverse decades of what I have grown to recognize to be negative behavior. I have been decluttering the house since the middle of January & it has been so challenging at times. However, I am taking the positive road, so to speak, that I will be able to implement Nena's strategies & take her wonderful advice to improve my quality of life. Best wishes from NY😊
Thanks so very much for this video; you’ve given me a great scaffolding for approaching so many sentimental items that I have held on to. Some of them actually bring back sad or painful memories - and yet I keep them. Your set of questions, to help me get down to the ‘Why?” are so helpful. Already, I’ve been able to look far more objectively at several things, and being able to let go of them has resulted in such a feeling of peace and space, afterwards. I’m a new Subscriber, and I will be watching many more of your videos! Again, Many Thanks!
Warmest of welcomes to the channel! I can completely relate to your comment! There is a video on this channel about my healing journey during decluttering - like you, I had been hanging onto items that actually were making me sad! Please keep me posted on your progress! :)
I know quite a lot of people who have struggled with this. A friend of mine went through a process of decluttering herself about a year ago and found it a hugely liberating exercise
This video is SO powerful! I have watched countless decluttering/organization videos over the years, & many have been helpful. But this one hits the heart of the matter! I feel emotional watching it. I took screenshots of the questions, & I’ll go back later to answer each question in writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!.
@@NenaLavonne Thank you again! This morning I decluttered 4 dresser drawers & have 5-6 bags of clothing to take to the women’s shelter. I know that’s not sentimental clutter (though clothing can be), but it’s still more evidence of moving forward. Cheers!
Thank you so much for your insightful approach. Many of our difficulties in decluttering are linked to anxious feelings, and your calmness is light on the heart. Please continue to talk about this topic in your videos!
Nena, Your approach, kind voice, and genuine empathy is refreshing and encouraging! I am currently in the midst of my cleansing project. The questions are Extremely helpful!!! I needed some motivation for yet another day of decluttering, and I found your channel! I have shared this with others who could use it…. and I have subscribed. Thank you so much
Sometimes the clutter IS the photographs: parents and their friends, old Christmases and other holidays. I have a hard time letting go, and my "contained" space is a storage unit. Talk about what it's costing me!! My teddy bears come to mind, though. And a few "heirlooms." I don't have descendants who would appreciate some of it. books but no space for them. I've already pared down as much as I'm willing, and I'm renting, so I can't put up shelves. (I share the house with another renter and can't do a lot of stuff I might otherwise.) -- Love this video. It did help. Thanks for posting.
Hi Kathy! I'm so glad you found the video helpful. I can relate to the struggle! It took me way too long to realize all my clutter was "costing" me. Thank you for your comment! :)
Happy weekend Nena beautiful soul, I barely decluttered in my childhood but I was able to give away 50% of what I realise I don't need anymore when I got my new home last year. Warm hugs❤!
Thank you for this video. I didn't go looking for any help getting past my hoarding mindset, but I clicked on the link because it sounded interesting. I have a lot of space to keep things and I'm not nearly as "bad" as some other hoarders I know, but I keep "memories" of everything. Photos, tickets, diaries, possessions from dead relatives, notes, recordings, letters... Everything that is personal. Even things that aren't personal - antiques I think are unique enough that if I throw them away there might not be anything like it ever again. I'm afraid I will forget the past if I don't save it. And I'm afraid that once I die, there will be no traces left of me on this earth unless my personal possessions remind those who come after me. And it's true - you're right - I do keep track of my life's accomplishments to validate my existence. If I don't have any more successes in my lifetime, at least I have proof of the ones I had in the past. I haven't seen my obsession with the past as a big problem, but the thought of losing stuff is very stressful. I sometimes think that my life would be over if my home burned down. And keeping EVERYTHING year after year makes it harder to find the most special moments and favorite mementos. I might have to go through your list of questions.
So glad you found it interesting! I can relate to what you describe! I was DEFINITELY a "memory keeper" :) Hope you found the video helpful and welcome to the channel!
OMG thank goodness I’m not the only one who thinks “if I don’t have any more accomplishments, at least I have proof of ones in the past.” Hoo-boy, how to get past that…
Hello! Nena. I most certainly have a habit of holding on to things that I need to let go. Material possessions and Life as well. There is some attachment for sure. Wow! The questions were right on point. Great advice as always. Big like. 👍🏼 Have a wonderful Sunday. 😊💖🌷
After watching your video and reading a question raised by a viewer, it caused me to think more deeply about how I deal with sentimental items from the past. The question raised by the viewer was, “How much of what we do is for other people?” When I thought about that, it brought me to a personal question that I feel I should be asking myself, “If I did not have children, would I keep this?” I believe the answer I would give most often would be “No.” Much of what I keep (past memorabilia and possessions from relatives who have passed on) is to pass on to my two daughters and grandchildren. Even though my daughters have told me these things are not something they want and that I should not keep them for their sakes, I would think back on how I said the same to my mother when I was in my forties, but then, after my Mom passed away, the items that were left behind (hers, my Dad’s and my grandparents) became precious to me - I also sense the essence of them within their items (your words regarding this truly resonated with me). Up until now, I have assumed my daughters will also experience this same appreciation when they are older, but in thinking more deeply, I realize my daughters have NEVER been as sentimental with items as I have, so my assumption that they will later find what I leave behind to be precious is very unlikely. While I do not yet know how sentimental my young grandchildren are, I realize that leaving possessions behind for the possibility of my grandchildren’s appreciation does not make sense because the grandchildren will never actually see the items if my daughters simply donate or toss what is left behind. With this in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t consider the grandchildren when making decisions of what to keep. I have, however, decided to keep a SMALL box for each of my 4 grandchildren where I can place letters I have received from them as well as small items with special meaning. Perhaps those of us who struggle with sentimental possessions of the past and feel their children would simply donate or toss these items after we pass, should consider taking a photo of each item (with a clarifying note beside it sharing what the item is, who it belonged to and the story behind it) and then passing these items on to collectors or a museum. At least we could feel a sense of contentment knowing that a piece of history is preserved while still having a photo that can be added to an album (digital or physical) for ourselves and that can be shared with family. For those items that are not something valued by a collector or museum, we could again take photos that include a detailed note and save the photo to the same album. From my daughters, I received the gift of StoryWorth (a service that collects one's favorite stories, memories and photos and preserves them in a bound book) which tells me my daughters value stories and memories, just not all the physical possessions. I think I will add a few photos of precious possessions and memorabilia to this book. Along with the questions you presented in your video, I am going to add the question, “If I did not have children, would I keep this?” I feel this question will help to refocus me when I’m decluttering items from the past. Thank you Nena Lavonne, Psy.M. for your powerful video and thank you Nina Martin for raising your question, “How much of what we do is for other people?”
As someone who loves social history, antiques, cultural anthropology, urbex, The Tale of Genji and museums.....I am so happy that some people kept/preserved/clung onto items and didn't just throw them away or melt them down. It truly hurts me how much cultural heritage has been lost and that's why I am proud to be a hoarder. Even though I know as soon as I die it's all going in a skip. Here's a question - how much of what we do, is for the benefit of other people? If you wake up one day and find yourself the only person on the planet, would you even bother wearing clothes? Or doing your hair? Let's accept that we are social beings, and we do imbue items with significance. All religious systems have sacred items and by extension, rituals. It's a big part of what makes us human. Let's celebrate it, not try to pretend it isn't so. Who wants to live in a barren anonymous environment devoid of meaning? Not I.
Hi Nina! I like your name :) I like all these things, too. It sounds like you are making good choices for your own life and that you appreciate and enjoy the things you own. Many things in this world have true value, and even things we don't feel have value, may have value for others. The important thing is that our things do not overtake our life or cause suffering. For many people, clutter does not allow them to fully enjoy their life, or move forward. In these cases, it is helpful to analyze what we have and keep, and make sure it all is truly meaningful. I could never live in a barren anonymous environment, and do not suggest that of my clients unless they feel it is best for them personally. When we can clear away the things that do not offer beauty, value, or function in our lives, we can clear space for the things in our life that truly do make us happy. I think it is wonderful that you enjoy social history...it is truly fascinating. Thank you again for your comment, and have a fantastic week!
Dear Nina, I’ve also wondered what I would do if I was the only person on the planet. I’d definitely not wear clothes and I’d spend time sitting in the woods listening and observing birds and eating berries and taking lots of naps and braiding my hair.
Taking photos of everything before tossing has been extremely helpful to me for many things, especially if they can go to charity. There are still things that are tough (old performance recordings on cassette tapes, boy scout merit badges). I know I'll rarely look at these things, if at all, including the photos. I think it's this open ended feeling I may be in the last year of my life, be told my time is up, and then not being able to look back on who I was. Like some kind of self-betrayal. How dare you forget who you are or where you've come from! I will say I've run into the digital photos more often than the physical items (usually searching for some other file/photo) and they're effective.
I totally agree. Taking photos can be VERY helpful! I do the same thing! This helps many people relieve the anxiety of letting things go! Thank you for sharing!
Hello Nena. Personal development for the win. I think taking ownership for the past and moving forward is important. Self-love is so important. I'm still cleaning out some boxes from my move 12 years ago. Happy 2022. Take care.
Amazing video, Nena. You are that voice inside our conscious and subconscious mind! I have a few stuff from the past (maybe many lol), which I don’t show, that would be the other me, the no-social media one lol! Thanks my friend
The past is such a powerful force - I am seeing more and more how my present day mindset and decisions are shaped from my past experiences, failures and successes. Always a pleasure Nena :)
I think part of my problem is that I don’t know who I really am. I don’t know where my life is going or how it will look in 5 years. So I don’t know what I should keep and what I can let go of. I’d truly like to keep it all just in case but my house is so tiny and the clutter is beyond out of control.
Hi there, Nena! So my issue seems to veer more towards not wanting to discard old clothing that I used to wear years ago and now MIGHT wear again but in all practicality, it feels a bit immature now to wear it. I don’t know why I can’t let it go. I know I need to because my life is so overstuffed that I can’t find the things I need on a daily basis.
It's so wonderful how you've been able to totally turn this around and are now helping so many with your experience and wisdom. GREAT questions! I've been going through parts of the house one corner at a time, mostly all the storage areas, and decluttering tons. LOVE how liberating it feels! For me it was just "the big job" of it that made me not want to do it. But once I started, I was off to the races lol. I got a lot from this video, thank you! ...Hmmm... what shall I tackle next haha! Thank you Nena! 💗💞🙏
I’m a medical traveler. Just cleaned out my storage unit. Taking photos of photos, going through diaries, letters. Have souvenirs from where I have lived. Since starting this whole decluttering process, I’ve have so much nausea. I feel like I’m throwing away evidence that I ever existed, had these wonderful experiences. I don’t have a home/have r been a renter. Normally, these items get stored in a home. I’m trying to fit all that I have left into one storage trunk. It’s hard. Maybe I’m rushing the decluttering process?
Thank you so much for your comment. Decluttering, in theory, is meant to improve our lives by removing things - both mental and physical - that are no longer serving us. However, if we are experiencing extreme grief and heartache by decluttering, we are not currently improving lives by carrying through with this process in the manner we are doing so. Like you said, maybe you are rushing the process, or maybe you are trying to let go of items that are attached to situations you haven't healed from yet. Some people worry that getting rid of an object equals getting rid of an experience. Although our memories and experiences are different things entirely than the items themselves, if we don't mentally separate these concepts, the process can be painful. Perhaps take some time to reflect on this, as well as why you might be feeling such discomfort before you proceed. Maybe you can also find other ways to remember the items if there is a need to downsize - I have found that taking pictures of the items helps, as does giving them to people who really would benefit from them. Also, I am personally not of the belief that we need to get rid of everything just for the sake of doing so. I have several sentimental items that I have kept. Not everything is clutter. Clutter is what gets in the way of us living our best life, and it can differ from person to person. Be patient with yourself as you begin this journey, and remember, the ultimate goal is to do what is best for us in our unique situation
Very helpful info. Thank you! I have a question. You talked about fantasy self. I have alot of fantasy.. how do I know what is real and what is fantasy? I’m empty nest and relocated to different state. My “self” was homeschool mom, business owner. Wife. Love of learning and doing hard new things…But now I don’t know who I am… what I want to be? I keep things because I want to be a scuba diver again… or a learner again, or better Christian , cook, baker, crafter, homesteader, gardener…u get the picture. Now I don’t know what I want. Truly… what? I don’t do any of those things. I’m decluttering and organizing, but then what? How do we know how to Move forward?
So glad you found the video helpful! I have a full video about the "fantasy self" that answers many of your questions: ruclips.net/video/16xFJU-NC5c/видео.html :) Please keep me posted!
Awesome checklist ❤❤❤❤❤ definitely helpful 👍👍👍👍👍 mom thinks I have too much stuff, I disagree, I keep order and mostly when I need something, I don't have to go shopping, I already have it 😀😀😀😀😀 I don't keep stuff for emotional but purely practical reasons.. and most things if they lost their purpose, I let them go or repurpose them into something I can use 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Nena Lavonne haha thanks, the weekend is always awesome, this time however it was rather scary, 4 very bad storms in the past 5 days.. TG we survived, house does need some major renovation though..
Hi Debra! I was moving and was not able to take nearly 90% of my things. Also, I realized that I had endless boxes of things that were keeping me from having a functional home and were keeping me trapped in the past. It wasn't just a few items - I absolutely kept the things that were genuinely meaningful, but I realized that I didn't need to keep on to every item from my past. The memories stay without keeping artifacts
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Hello Beautiful Souls! I hope you find this deep dive into the psychology of decluttering the "past" interesting, and the self-analytical exercise to be incredibly helpful! Please take a moment to say hello, subscribe, and share your story if you are comfortable! Have a wonderful week!
Much Love,
Nena xo
Hello beautiful soul ..back at ya! Very useful and interesting as I need a declutter 👌 lovely to see you again! ❤
Yes i love ❤️ the way you simplify it
Thank you so much 😊 😊😊
@@NenaLavonne ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Nana. I love your videos.
Nena, Thank You for this message! It hit me at the core of a lot of my “clutter”! Many items - some large; some small, are taking up space in closets, drawers, cabinets, the garage, in every room. I’ve been dragging them around, holding onto them for over 50 years! I have my own “Museum of the Past! You’ve helped me see that I hold onto them because they remind me of who I WAS, and have been my way of keeping the past ALIVE. It’s time to let them go and allow fresh air and space for my NOW! How could I ever have let go of life regrets with these sacred-ized items staring at me every day! Bless you for sharing your wisdom!
I'm so glad you found the video helpful, Bett! It is truly transformative when we can get to the core of our clutter! Please keep me posted on your decluttering journey!
Thank you so much for this incredibly deep dive into the psychology underlying my ADHD inspired clutter! I especially appreciate the list of questions that I can use to consider the role my “Stuff” plays in my “clutter-drama”!
I'm so glad you found the video helpful! Please keep me posted on your decluttering journey! :)
I’ve inherited my grandparents Sears&Roebuck Cataloged Home that my grandparents built in 1925. I have too many memories of growing up in their home 🏡. I inherited the home from my mother. I was raised with the Great Depression Era mentality. Save everything you never know when you’re going to need it. Everything was neat and stored in place. I had no idea what was in my grandparents bedroom or my mothers. When I returned from my big life to raise my son I inherited the ancestral 🏡 home. I could not fit my own life into the house and I am surrounded by anxiety and the fear of letting go of the past. I too have wonderful costumes that I made for 💃 dance and my Wonder Woman costume professionally made by me. That was in the late 1970’s!! Go help me!
Your videos are very insightful and very informative. I have spent years asking myself many of the questions that you present. Yes I do believe they identify me but I am no longer that woman. I will be 70 years old on 26 June 2022. I have lived a full rich interesting life. Now I am reclusive like Greta Garbo. I love to look at my things and when I dig deeply into my things I find things that I forgot I had. I’m in the beginning stages of doing what you have advised that must be done and I absolutely know this. I am going to watch more of your videos for the strength to carry this drudgery of my journey. What a journey this has been. Somehow I feel that my Wonder Woman Costume should be right next to my Navy WAVE Uniform that I worked for while serving in the military. Wonder Woman was also a Navy WAVE Yeoman and so was I a Yeoman. The exact same uniform too! Perhaps I should do a few magical spins and see if I can pull myself out of this Golden Lasso of precious belongings that I am Psychologically bound to.
Thank you ☺️ for sharing your experiences and encouraging knowledge.
HI Aidah! Thank you so much for sharing! I truly hope you find the channel to be helpful! Here is a full playlist on this topic: ruclips.net/p/PLkVTKW7Z-_4z7A3fbz8is8PGmH02qa9oq Please keep me posted!
I certainly appreciate your comment. I was raised (I have been known to get carried away re using the term "brainwashed"...) with the mentality you mentioned. Someone in the house gets so frustrated, frankly, about the point that one of my parents used to save everything (and was teaching me to behave the same way beginning during my childhood) that he sarcastically impersonates by actually saying, "You never know!" Therefore, I have been doing my best to reverse decades of what I have grown to recognize to be negative behavior. I have been decluttering the house since the middle of January & it has been so challenging at times. However, I am taking the positive road, so to speak, that I will be able to implement Nena's strategies & take her wonderful advice to improve my quality of life. Best wishes from NY😊
Thanks so very much for this video; you’ve given me a great scaffolding for approaching so many sentimental items that I have held on to. Some of them actually bring back sad or painful memories - and yet I keep them. Your set of questions, to help me get down to the ‘Why?” are so helpful. Already, I’ve been able to look far more objectively at several things, and being able to let go of them has resulted in such a feeling of peace and space, afterwards. I’m a new Subscriber, and I will be watching many more of your videos! Again, Many Thanks!
Warmest of welcomes to the channel! I can completely relate to your comment! There is a video on this channel about my healing journey during decluttering - like you, I had been hanging onto items that actually were making me sad! Please keep me posted on your progress! :)
I know quite a lot of people who have struggled with this. A friend of mine went through a process of decluttering herself about a year ago and found it a hugely liberating exercise
Yes, I'm sure it was! :) I hope you had a wonderful weekend!
These questions are incredible.
So very glad you found the video helpful! ♥️
This video is SO powerful! I have watched countless decluttering/organization videos over the years, & many have been helpful. But this one hits the heart of the matter! I feel emotional watching it. I took screenshots of the questions, & I’ll go back later to answer each question in writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!.
I think we share a lot of similarities! I STILL have to ask myself these same questions!
@@NenaLavonne Thank you again! This morning I decluttered 4 dresser drawers & have 5-6 bags of clothing to take to the women’s shelter. I know that’s not sentimental clutter (though clothing can be), but it’s still more evidence of moving forward. Cheers!
How exciting!!! Congrats! ♥️😊🎉
Thank you so much for your insightful approach. Many of our difficulties in decluttering are linked to anxious feelings, and your calmness is light on the heart.
Please continue to talk about this topic in your videos!
You are so welcome! There is a whole playlist on this topic if you feel you need further support! :) Glad you found the video helpful!
Thank you. So helpful
Glad it was helpful, Victoria! :)
Nena, Your approach, kind voice, and genuine empathy is refreshing and encouraging! I am currently in the midst of my cleansing project. The questions are Extremely helpful!!! I needed some motivation for yet another day of decluttering, and I found your channel! I have shared this with others who could use it…. and I have subscribed. Thank you so much
Awww, thanks, Heidi! I appreciate you sharing, and I'm happy you are here! Please keep me posted on your journey!
Sometimes the clutter IS the photographs: parents and their friends, old Christmases and other holidays. I have a hard time letting go, and my "contained" space is a storage unit. Talk about what it's costing me!! My teddy bears come to mind, though. And a few "heirlooms." I don't have descendants who would appreciate some of it. books but no space for them. I've already pared down as much as I'm willing, and I'm renting, so I can't put up shelves. (I share the house with another renter and can't do a lot of stuff I might otherwise.) -- Love this video. It did help. Thanks for posting.
Hi Kathy! I'm so glad you found the video helpful. I can relate to the struggle! It took me way too long to realize all my clutter was "costing" me. Thank you for your comment! :)
It is what is on the inside that really matters, but it is easy to get hooked on what is on the outside, thanks Nena.
Very true, George! I hope you have a wonderful week! :)
Happy weekend Nena beautiful soul, I barely decluttered in my childhood but I was able to give away 50% of what I realise I don't need anymore when I got my new home last year. Warm hugs❤!
That’s wonderful, Harry! Decluttering can be extremely therapeutic! 😊😊😊😊♥️
Thank you for this video. I didn't go looking for any help getting past my hoarding mindset, but I clicked on the link because it sounded interesting. I have a lot of space to keep things and I'm not nearly as "bad" as some other hoarders I know, but I keep "memories" of everything. Photos, tickets, diaries, possessions from dead relatives, notes, recordings, letters... Everything that is personal. Even things that aren't personal - antiques I think are unique enough that if I throw them away there might not be anything like it ever again. I'm afraid I will forget the past if I don't save it. And I'm afraid that once I die, there will be no traces left of me on this earth unless my personal possessions remind those who come after me. And it's true - you're right - I do keep track of my life's accomplishments to validate my existence. If I don't have any more successes in my lifetime, at least I have proof of the ones I had in the past.
I haven't seen my obsession with the past as a big problem, but the thought of losing stuff is very stressful. I sometimes think that my life would be over if my home burned down. And keeping EVERYTHING year after year makes it harder to find the most special moments and favorite mementos.
I might have to go through your list of questions.
So glad you found it interesting! I can relate to what you describe! I was DEFINITELY a "memory keeper" :) Hope you found the video helpful and welcome to the channel!
100% accurate, I feel this sentiment deeply, thank you for sharing. 🙏❤️🙏each day is a new day to win🥰❤️
OMG thank goodness I’m not the only one who thinks “if I don’t have any more accomplishments, at least I have proof of ones in the past.” Hoo-boy, how to get past that…
YOU ARE SO INSPIRATIONAL & TALENTED NENA.🌹 I LOVE TO WATCH YOUR CONTENTS.💗
Thank you so much for your kind words, beautiful lady! So glad to hear you find the channel helpful! ♥️
Hello! Nena. I most certainly have a habit of holding on to things that I need to let go. Material possessions and Life as well. There is some attachment for sure. Wow! The questions were right on point. Great advice as always. Big like. 👍🏼 Have a wonderful Sunday. 😊💖🌷
So glad you enjoyed! Yes, I think we all have this tendency!!! :) Have a beautiful week, my friend!
@@NenaLavonne 😊💖🌷
Thumbs up for this video, very valuable 👌👌
Glad it was helpful! :)
I loved this video. Thank you so much. I have studied minimalism for 1.5 years and this was very much new information and healing as well.
I’m so glad to hear that! ♥️ Glad you found the channel!!! 😊
A most appreciated topic for me! Thank you big time!!!
♥️♥️♥️🙏
After watching your video and reading a question raised by a viewer, it caused me to think more deeply about how I deal with sentimental items from the past. The question raised by the viewer was, “How much of what we do is for other people?” When I thought about that, it brought me to a personal question that I feel I should be asking myself, “If I did not have children, would I keep this?” I believe the answer I would give most often would be “No.” Much of what I keep (past memorabilia and possessions from relatives who have passed on) is to pass on to my two daughters and grandchildren. Even though my daughters have told me these things are not something they want and that I should not keep them for their sakes, I would think back on how I said the same to my mother when I was in my forties, but then, after my Mom passed away, the items that were left behind (hers, my Dad’s and my grandparents) became precious to me - I also sense the essence of them within their items (your words regarding this truly resonated with me). Up until now, I have assumed my daughters will also experience this same appreciation when they are older, but in thinking more deeply, I realize my daughters have NEVER been as sentimental with items as I have, so my assumption that they will later find what I leave behind to be precious is very unlikely. While I do not yet know how sentimental my young grandchildren are, I realize that leaving possessions behind for the possibility of my grandchildren’s appreciation does not make sense because the grandchildren will never actually see the items if my daughters simply donate or toss what is left behind. With this in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t consider the grandchildren when making decisions of what to keep. I have, however, decided to keep a SMALL box for each of my 4 grandchildren where I can place letters I have received from them as well as small items with special meaning. Perhaps those of us who struggle with sentimental possessions of the past and feel their children would simply donate or toss these items after we pass, should consider taking a photo of each item (with a clarifying note beside it sharing what the item is, who it belonged to and the story behind it) and then passing these items on to collectors or a museum. At least we could feel a sense of contentment knowing that a piece of history is preserved while still having a photo that can be added to an album (digital or physical) for ourselves and that can be shared with family. For those items that are not something valued by a collector or museum, we could again take photos that include a detailed note and save the photo to the same album. From my daughters, I received the gift of StoryWorth (a service that collects one's favorite stories, memories and photos and preserves them in a bound book) which tells me my daughters value stories and memories, just not all the physical possessions. I think I will add a few photos of precious possessions and memorabilia to this book. Along with the questions you presented in your video, I am going to add the question, “If I did not have children, would I keep this?” I feel this question will help to refocus me when I’m decluttering items from the past. Thank you Nena Lavonne, Psy.M. for your powerful video and thank you Nina Martin for raising your question, “How much of what we do is for other people?”
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm so glad you found the video helpful! Happy you are here!
As someone who loves social history, antiques, cultural anthropology, urbex, The Tale of Genji and museums.....I am so happy that some people kept/preserved/clung onto items and didn't just throw them away or melt them down. It truly hurts me how much cultural heritage has been lost and that's why I am proud to be a hoarder. Even though I know as soon as I die it's all going in a skip. Here's a question - how much of what we do, is for the benefit of other people? If you wake up one day and find yourself the only person on the planet, would you even bother wearing clothes? Or doing your hair? Let's accept that we are social beings, and we do imbue items with significance. All religious systems have sacred items and by extension, rituals. It's a big part of what makes us human. Let's celebrate it, not try to pretend it isn't so. Who wants to live in a barren anonymous environment devoid of meaning? Not I.
Hi Nina! I like your name :) I like all these things, too. It sounds like you are making good choices for your own life and that you appreciate and enjoy the things you own. Many things in this world have true value, and even things we don't feel have value, may have value for others. The important thing is that our things do not overtake our life or cause suffering. For many people, clutter does not allow them to fully enjoy their life, or move forward. In these cases, it is helpful to analyze what we have and keep, and make sure it all is truly meaningful. I could never live in a barren anonymous environment, and do not suggest that of my clients unless they feel it is best for them personally. When we can clear away the things that do not offer beauty, value, or function in our lives, we can clear space for the things in our life that truly do make us happy. I think it is wonderful that you enjoy social history...it is truly fascinating. Thank you again for your comment, and have a fantastic week!
Dear Nina, I’ve also wondered what I would do if I was the only person on the planet. I’d definitely not wear clothes and I’d spend time sitting in the woods listening and observing birds and eating berries and taking lots of naps and braiding my hair.
Taking photos of everything before tossing has been extremely helpful to me for many things, especially if they can go to charity. There are still things that are tough (old performance recordings on cassette tapes, boy scout merit badges). I know I'll rarely look at these things, if at all, including the photos. I think it's this open ended feeling I may be in the last year of my life, be told my time is up, and then not being able to look back on who I was. Like some kind of self-betrayal. How dare you forget who you are or where you've come from! I will say I've run into the digital photos more often than the physical items (usually searching for some other file/photo) and they're effective.
I totally agree. Taking photos can be VERY helpful! I do the same thing! This helps many people relieve the anxiety of letting things go! Thank you for sharing!
Ooooo! Object attachment. This can be a tough one. Great share! Thanks Nena!
Yes I think everyone has that favorite T-Shirt that they can not part with 🙂
Lol, I agree! :)
Hello Nena. Personal development for the win. I think taking ownership for the past and moving forward is important. Self-love is so important. I'm still cleaning out some boxes from my move 12 years ago. Happy 2022. Take care.
Heyyyyy Jace! So great to see you back on RUclips! You were missed!
13:16 Wow! Your first question is so eye opening. I have never thought of it this way. So many items can probably go based on this alone.
So glad it was helpful!
Thank you very much for your videos.
You are VERY welcome, Susan! 💕🌸😊
We had to do a bit of this recently and it is funny after sometime how it is a bit easier to get rid of many things.
That’s wonderful! 😊😊😊
Thank you so much for this.
You are very welcome, Dawn! 😊♥️
Excellent insight
I’m so glad you found it helpful, Carole! 😊♥️
Appreciate you sharing Nena
Thanks for watching! :)
It can be a problem !! Good video Nena!!!!))😊😊😊🌺🌼🌺
Glad you enjoyed, Steve! Happy weekend! 😊😊😊
Loving this! You brought up so many positive thoughts. Thank you! 💜
So glad you enjoyed 😊😊😊 Hope it was helpful ♥️
Thanks you . This I need to hear
You are very welcome 😊
You hit it right on the button with the T-shirt and everything thing else😩
Hang in there! :) It gets easier once you dive in and offer yourself self compassion in the process!
Amazing video, Nena. You are that voice inside our conscious and subconscious mind! I have a few stuff from the past (maybe many lol), which I don’t show, that would be the other me, the no-social media one lol! Thanks my friend
You are so welcome! I'm so glad you found it interesting! :) I appreciate you watching my friend!
@@NenaLavonne 🙏❤️🙏
Thank you! Just beginning this process
You got this! Please keep me posted on your progress!
Wow between the eyes!!
😊😊😊
Love this but also love being a maximalist....enjoy things...but nicely beautifully artistically
That's wonderful! Only YOU know what is best for you and your life. I am a big advocate of living authentically! :)
The past is such a powerful force - I am seeing more and more how my present day mindset and decisions are shaped from my past experiences, failures and successes. Always a pleasure Nena :)
Thank you for watching, Remmi! Hope you are doing fantastically well! 😊
I think part of my problem is that I don’t know who I really am. I don’t know where my life is going or how it will look in 5 years. So I don’t know what I should keep and what I can let go of. I’d truly like to keep it all just in case but my house is so tiny and the clutter is beyond out of control.
All these things can be related, yes! It sounds like you are finding a lot out about yourself currently, which is wonderful!
I. Agree with the above. I am finding myself and may need that item again. Very difficult decisions. I do need help and advice.
HI5 buddy, beautiful upload dear!
Thank you very much! Hope it was helpful!
Hi there, Nena! So my issue seems to veer more towards not wanting to discard old clothing that I used to wear years ago and now MIGHT wear again but in all practicality, it feels a bit immature now to wear it. I don’t know why I can’t let it go. I know I need to because my life is so overstuffed that I can’t find the things I need on a daily basis.
Thanks for sharing!! I think many people can relate to exactly what you are saying!
Thank you - So very helpful 🙏
Glad it was helpful!
It's so wonderful how you've been able to totally turn this around and are now helping so many with your experience and wisdom. GREAT questions! I've been going through parts of the house one corner at a time, mostly all the storage areas, and decluttering tons. LOVE how liberating it feels! For me it was just "the big job" of it that made me not want to do it. But once I started, I was off to the races lol. I got a lot from this video, thank you! ...Hmmm... what shall I tackle next haha! Thank you Nena! 💗💞🙏
Thank you so much, my beautiful friend! Yes, decluttering mentally and physically can be so helpful! I hope you have an amazing weekend!!!
@@NenaLavonne 💗🙏💕🌟💕💗
💕💜💕💜💕😊
I’m a medical traveler. Just cleaned out my storage unit. Taking photos of photos, going through diaries, letters. Have souvenirs from where I have lived. Since starting this whole decluttering process, I’ve have so much nausea. I feel like I’m throwing away evidence that I ever existed, had these wonderful experiences. I don’t have a home/have r been a renter. Normally, these items get stored in a home. I’m trying to fit all that I have left into one storage trunk. It’s hard. Maybe I’m rushing the decluttering process?
Thank you so much for your comment. Decluttering, in theory, is meant to improve our lives by removing things - both mental and physical - that are no longer serving us. However, if we are experiencing extreme grief and heartache by decluttering, we are not currently improving lives by carrying through with this process in the manner we are doing so. Like you said, maybe you are rushing the process, or maybe you are trying to let go of items that are attached to situations you haven't healed from yet. Some people worry that getting rid of an object equals getting rid of an experience. Although our memories and experiences are different things entirely than the items themselves, if we don't mentally separate these concepts, the process can be painful. Perhaps take some time to reflect on this, as well as why you might be feeling such discomfort before you proceed. Maybe you can also find other ways to remember the items if there is a need to downsize - I have found that taking pictures of the items helps, as does giving them to people who really would benefit from them. Also, I am personally not of the belief that we need to get rid of everything just for the sake of doing so. I have several sentimental items that I have kept. Not everything is clutter. Clutter is what gets in the way of us living our best life, and it can differ from person to person. Be patient with yourself as you begin this journey, and remember, the ultimate goal is to do what is best for us in our unique situation
Very helpful info. Thank you! I have a question. You talked about fantasy self. I have alot of fantasy.. how do I know what is real and what is fantasy? I’m empty nest and relocated to different state. My “self” was homeschool mom, business owner. Wife. Love of learning and doing hard new things…But now I don’t know who I am… what I want to be? I keep things because I want to be a scuba diver again… or a learner again, or better Christian , cook, baker, crafter, homesteader, gardener…u get the picture. Now I don’t know what I want. Truly… what? I don’t do any of those things. I’m decluttering and organizing, but then what? How do we know how to
Move forward?
So glad you found the video helpful! I have a full video about the "fantasy self" that answers many of your questions: ruclips.net/video/16xFJU-NC5c/видео.html :) Please keep me posted!
Awesome checklist ❤❤❤❤❤ definitely helpful 👍👍👍👍👍 mom thinks I have too much stuff, I disagree, I keep order and mostly when I need something, I don't have to go shopping, I already have it 😀😀😀😀😀 I don't keep stuff for emotional but purely practical reasons.. and most things if they lost their purpose, I let them go or repurpose them into something I can use 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's fantastic! That certainly wasn't the case for me, lol! I hope you and Roxy are having a wonderful weekend!
@Nena Lavonne haha thanks, the weekend is always awesome, this time however it was rather scary, 4 very bad storms in the past 5 days.. TG we survived, house does need some major renovation though..
You are just amazing
Welcome to the channel, happy you found it! Thank you for your kind words! 🙏😊
I have decanters much of my past, I just need to scan photos
That's wonderful! Yes, scanning photos is a fantastic option!
That was beautiful. 😜
🙏♥️
Me cleaning for the 800th f*cking time in my life
I need your support
There is a full playlist on this topic :) I put the link in the description box! I hope you find it helpful!
Nena!🤗
Heeeey Tom! How is your weekend? 😊
Why did you feel it necessary to get rid of items that had so much meaning to you ?
Hi Debra! I was moving and was not able to take nearly 90% of my things. Also, I realized that I had endless boxes of things that were keeping me from having a functional home and were keeping me trapped in the past. It wasn't just a few items - I absolutely kept the things that were genuinely meaningful, but I realized that I didn't need to keep on to every item from my past. The memories stay without keeping artifacts