Understandable why Ivan can't perform this song live in concert anymore. He says it nearly kills him emotionally and lyrically pertains to his own family. Thank you for the upload.
When I was a kid...our father beated us...told us we were shameful, worthless and brought him only misery..he left to build a new life somewhere ''In his eyes we never added up''. My younger brother took the brunt of it whenever father was not happy..''I never stood by him at the time''. My mother died 10 years later.My sister started threating her kid the same way father did..''I only did what I thought was truly right..'' She now blames me for losing custody of her child. I walk my path alone..
You are not alone, not really. I was the one in my family who took the brunt; they saw me as the black sheep and also, or alternatively, the scapegoat. No worries, never you mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
This song has been burned in my soul. I lost my mother just a few years ago and to hear this song it brings back all those bad memories of my childhood. But keeps me going to do better for my children. Awsome song guys.
basically the message is that we all have regret but never let that stop you from making it right no matter how ,many times we wish we could undo it we cant but that is what makes us who we are even if we cant forget no matter how hard we try it is what defines us as a whole regret is a wicked thing but we all have it it is part of life and no matter what we do somethings we just have to move on from even though it hurts badly, to me that is this songs message
I kinda heard it a bit differently.. I'll explain what I mean and hope it makes sense lol Say I'm in the middle of a breakup and this is the conversation with my person.. if I could do that, could you do that...
I think I read somewhere is letting go and talking about regret that heavy is important to share with your family. Which is what I got from this. A lot easier to have things in the open rather than closed off remembering it all in your own mind. Theres other views we need to listen to them.
@@douglassigmund8620 let me add their are other views or regrets we should also speak up on that we aren't. Whats done in the dark will shine. Have the confidence to be the light before it all ignites.. in many ways.
2013 i lost my older brother and my stepfather, back to back, I never felt more alone in my life then I did when I saw my stepfather die, and that is a pain I live with every day of my life, nothing I can do will ever bring them back, no matter how badly I wish I could take back the things I said, I cant. Remember this, always tell your family and friends that you love them, because you never know when that moment you spent with them will be the last moment.
I have always loved this song but it hits different now. My husband died unexpectedly on New Years Day and I have never felt more alone. We had just bought a house and he died before the first payment was due. He was so happy and then in an instant he was gone. I have so much anger in me and no real release. It truly is a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone.
I am soo sorry my deepest wishes to you know that god is on your side I had lost my grandma and my grampa both 2 years ago I miss them soo very much but I know there with me even if i cant see them .
I love this song, the first time I heard this remembered everything I have done that I regretted and I cried, being 14 at the time, in a bad time of life, facing a lot of challenges, and getting assaulted, it was the thing that just tipped my bucket and it felt good.
This song has a strong place in my heart as it has helped my in my dark place and got me back to the light I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t found this band back in the early 200s
This song reminds me of my dear cousin, we lost her to gun violence on 12-20-20, in her last moments she was visiting and paying respects to a memorial not knowing those moments would be her last. RIP Dezzy, I will never forget the sweet memories I had with you being kids and going to school. 😢
I'm sure we all relate to this song. For me, it's the entirety of the song. They wrote it for all who relate. All the lyrics in this song, for me is 100% my life. That's how much I relate to it. Thank you FFDP, you made this song for all of us. 😶👍👏
this is kinda how i feel at times unfortunately thats just how it is but death punch has gotten me thuogh a lot of sorrow and regret it has lways spoken to my very soul i always have and always will be a fan til the end
When Noone understands you including your familly and they gave up on you when you was going through the worst struggles of your life. Then you embraced the struggle and developed and understanding that they dodnt even know and you now hold the key to saving so many! Stay strong fam true enlightenment comes from the struggles and darkest times of your life
This song.. It feels so similar to my life.. A dad that I haven't seen since 17 years long (he lives 30km from me), married to another woman who is out on his money. My mom who did her best but I failed a lot in my life because I am too stubborn to listen to my mother and sisters.. But I never quit, get back up and fight your proper errors. But I have that pain really deep in my heart because of regrets.. This brings me such a lot of motivation to get back on the right track 🙏
This sing is everything i would say to my family .... i jnow it's wring but i feel i would just listen to this before i end everything .. I just feel i can't hold on anymore .. or i'm barely holding on ... I just can't stand my self anymore .. I wanna break down into tears and just dissiper like i've never been there without hurting anyone and without feeling hurt anymore .. I'm sorry to everyone but i' most sorfy to myself ... I don't know how much i can keep on being this way anymore ...
@@hadil0710 you keep fighting that’s probably how most are feeling in here,I feel that way EVERY day..come on you can do this just stand up and live with you..your soul is eternal life is just a start of your existence.🫶
The pain never truly heals, even after it's been so long since the pain was actually inflicted. I'm still reeling from it, it keeps me up at night, it haunts my every thought, it makes me so afraid that my own child might suffer my fate despite my best intentions. I remember everything. I can't forget even if I want to.
When I lost my dad, this song made me lose it. I've never lived to to their expectations. I've always been the disappointment. Still, 2 years after losing my dad, even tho he said he was proud of me, I know in my heart I was a disappointment and every day all I want is to take the courage to take my life. But as a failure at everything in life, I have failed numerous times at ending it all. The only thing I've ever truly wanted to succeed at, ending my life, I can't even succeed there. The feeling of disappointment is just so overwhelming. I wish there was a sure fire way to end the pain I feel. I guess being a chicken shit coward is who I will be until it's inevitably my time. Just wish I could hurry the process
When you wake up and realize everyone you ever knew stayed one step ahead of you collecting rocks so they can bicker about the the day they finally get to bury you.
I know what your are going through. Me and my so called sister. If you were to chat with us separately you would swear we were raised in separate houses. She is the golden child and I am the screw up. Nowadays she is so full of self righteous indignation..
I felt like this for years didn't want to wake up and face reality that my dad was never ever gonna be there for me I blamed myself for the way I was when I was young, he only wanted to know me when it pleased him, I just wished I never had a dad then it wouldn't feel so painful, I'm glad I had a great mum yes she had her faults like every mother, this song is great
Relatable for me, I've so far lived a life I don't wanna remember but I can't forget and have tried almost everything to numb it all it's weird cause the things you think help make it worse
Every word. Perfectly describes my life…my mother, my father being god and how I failed him. My brother I have never stood beside, my sister I gave up when my mom died because I figured it would be better for her. The way I still feel like running away, at 40 I’m still so far from home. Sober for seven years, said I’d never change? But what the fuck do you know… And above all? I remember everything…
4:54pm January 2019, instant flashback to the "pond " 1978. I rediscovered this memory back in December 2016,how could I forget something like this? I realise that my memory has been wiped but not completely just some events and the " lilly pond " was the first to come back, but the timing was not accidental it was deliberate and precise, my mind remembered the instructions & from complete ignorance to full realization was shocking. In 1978 I fell into a steep sided pond, disgustingly full of the carcasses of a entire herd of pigs, a dozen or more. Heads,legs,insideds, genitals and the gallons of blood enough to turn the water frothy pink and full of intestines. So how could I forget about this ? Infrasound frequencies and memory implant techniques using spice to kick it all off. I'm losing my reason for telling you this ,ok got it, I was given this track to listen to while I was getting my memory back and this song was so emotional for me I couldn't stop a few tears from rolling down my face. Really powerful words and guitar at that moment when I remembered the pond and many other experiences I had repressed
Well if you ever wanted to hear this song at concert you cant anymore bc ivan said they wont play it anymore. They have their reasons but man such a good song but there is still more songs.
Its a long and lonely road when u know you walk alolen i remember everything i feel like running away im still so far from home you say id never change but wtf do you know i relate to you
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING I remember the day you left I remember your first lie I remember all your words all your promises I remember how you made me feel seeing you with him I remember that look I remember that last touch I remember the last time you drove away I remember everything and I wish I couldn't remember the new cause I can't remember the the old just remember
“I spent years running away until I realised that I could never run from myself and my life pain”people(person) tell’s you your worthless every day of your life…You start to believe that but What the F,CK Do they know,I’m sorry I didn’t live up to expectations & portrayal of what i was supposed to be(To You),I REMEMBER EVERYTHING..I hate My Mind..but eternally grateful for it too.,So many people I’m seeing similar messages My 🫶Goes out to you all🙏🏻
This song almost kills my soul when I hear it because I can relate to it. My mother allowed me to be abused by many and I’m the bad guy. I walk alone now
Tell my parents at 14 that I was sexually abused from age 7 to 12 by a guy that lived with us and worked at my dad's business & their response was: Don't tell your brother. My brother was 6 years older than me and more of a parent to me then my parents were. So yeah no shit I wasn't gonna tell my brother his supposed best friend raped me for 5 years because he would've literally beat him to death. Then I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for a little over a year because he was cheating on me with my wonderful mother. Then a friend, we'd dated for a few months and dam near killed each other, so we remained friends b/c we knew how literally fucked up the other's home life was. This guy was finding guys for my extremely closeted gay father to sleep with. My mom started kicking me out the house when I was 15 and my dad was clueless that I wasn't even living there that's how much time he spent with me. My brother died 05/20/2007 at age 42; my died 06/03/2008 and we'd managed to repair our relationship. But my dad gave our family business to the little brother of the ex-boyfriend who was sleeping with my mom after I'd worked there for 25+ years - talk about a kick to the fucking teeth. My father has serious issues with females, I should say had since he had dementia now so I can't even tell him he fucked me up b/c he won't remember so what's the point. I'm definitely use to being alone that's for sure!
@@illvispresley7325At age 15 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Blackout Rages that caused by the "Fight or Flight Adrenaline", PTSD, Anxiety/Agoraphobia disorder, Clinical Depression. I also went through puberty at age 7 in the summer of 1977 before I started 2nd grade. By the end of 2nd grade I was 5ft tall, wearing a DD-cup bra, & weighed 95 lbs. I knew that I I was different physically. Nobody said anything to me after I beat the living hell out of a few kids. People with BPD are more likely to commit suicide because were impulsive and self destructive. I attempted suicide when I was 9: did a swan dive from a 35 ft+ high hayloft to a concrete floor, the tips of my shoe caught the edge and tilted me. So I gave myself a concussion, broke my nose, looked like a raccoon, and had serious concrete rash across my entire left side of my face. I didn't plan it the idea popped into my head the next thing I knew I was picking myself up off the concrete floor in the barn (we were living in BFE literally). I told my parents I fell which they bought, but my brother wasn't buying it because he was always yelling at me for climbing around in trees & the way the hayloft was laid out my brother was convinced the neighbor kid pushed me. He was ready to go Lynch the kid so I had to come clean. He agreed to not tell my parents adrenaline long as I promised him I'd never try to kill myself again: because he was always there for me to talk to. We'd moved to a new town before my BPD diagnosis. And after my diagnosis, in the summer of 1986, around my birthday (07/14) I was at a field party I'd eaten a ton if shrooms, dropped acid, drank over a case of beer and a fifth of Jack Daniels by myself (at 95-lbs I definitely had alcohol poisoning) and 2 of my closest friends figured out that I was buying and taking pills from several different people: so long story short I wound up at the hospital, strapped down, being forced to drink that charcoal crap, and having my stomach pumped... I definitely wouldn't recommend it.! I've been on both sides of suicide attempting it and have had a few very good friends commit suicide. I understand the hopelessness, emotional emptiness, and pure hell your mind puts you through. I've also seen the pain left behind for the survivors thinking if they missed something, if they would've just did this different or reacted to that different - they basically blame themselves for a very long time. I would never say suicide is the cowards way out, as I said: I get it, I think about killing myself every day, but I get through each day because I can laugh at myself and find humor in my state of mind which is definitely far from normal... I wouldn't want to be normal all the BS I went through made me who I am. I might have a slightly morbid, twisted sense of humor, and yeah I'm a fkn handful, but I have made some really good friends over the internet via an international internet radio station: we're all insane in one way or other, we're a small group (my friends, not thelistener's). The reason I posted my original post was because I have a lot of anger towards my father, and as I stated: he messed with my self esteem all the time, never once told me he was proud of me, before his mind went: he even replaced my dead brother and myself with a new son and the guys wife took my place. I know I'm a big girl, and thinking my father would give the family business, I'd worked at for 25-30+ years (when he knew I wanted to go into game and movie animation, back when it just required certification courses on the 90's) But he gave the family business to his new family. He has full blown Alzheimer's & don't even know who I am now. I could tell him what my shrinks have told me that I need to day to him for closure, but I doubt I'll ever get it. I do plan on writing a book of my life because the things I've posted here is only 25% of the crap I've been through. I'm thankful for the people that said they were sorry, but it's all good. I refuse to give up, it's not easy fighting with your own thoughts everyday, but I'm a fighter! Try to take life one day at a time, like me. If everyone your surrounded by makes you feel like you don't deserve to live: find new people! Believe me, I'm a recovering alcoholic, and quite a few people I thought were my close friends won't even answer the phone when I call, or text me back because I stopped partying or it could be that I'm in the process of getting on disability, and dirt poor when I use to always have cash: it doesn't matter, they were never real friends. @lllvis Presley, I'm not gonna say I know what you're going through because I honestly don't, I can relate though! There's private groups on FB that can help when you're having an extremely bad day or seriously need to talk. I'm in a couple BPD groups, but I tend to talk to my friends on the phone they're all over the US, Canada, and one's in England, I'm in Detroit, Michigan so my book will have to be a best seller if I ever want to actually hang with them in rl... Please just know that you are important, you matter, and if anyone tells you otherwise, you tell them to fck off!!!
@@sunnyskylarup158 It's all good: I have thick skin; learned early on that I could only "really" depend on myself, so if I want something I'll figure out how to get it on my own and if I don't get it, I guess I didn't want that bad. I have some very good & close friends that I'm grateful to have, but the only thing I'll accept from them, or want is their friendship and support. I never allow myself to become dependent on anyone, not even my husband that I've been with since June 1991: as he's an active alcoholic and I'm a recovering alcoholic (9+ years alcohol free & no I don't preach to people who drink... Since I stopped drinking, my husband goes to bats without me, which I've never had a problem with. I do have an issue with being cheated on at least 2x that I know of. That's the only rule I ever had: Don't fucken cheat on me. He broke that and out marriage because I can't trust him... So yeah we're probably getting divorced eventually...
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Understandable why Ivan can't perform this song live in concert anymore.
He says it nearly kills him emotionally and lyrically pertains to his own family.
Thank you for the upload.
It kills me emotionally thinking about how it relates to mine, can't imagine what it does to the originator. I feel for a man with such pain.
The pain is sometimes a black hole and loneliness just as bad
"im sorry, i was never good enough"
I know what you mean.
Same bro
Preach bro
Same
Same 🥲
When I was a kid...our father beated us...told us we were shameful, worthless and brought him only misery..he left to build a new life somewhere ''In his eyes we never added up''. My younger brother took the brunt of it whenever father was not happy..''I never stood by him at the time''. My mother died 10 years later.My sister started threating her kid the same way father did..''I only did what I thought was truly right..'' She now blames me for losing custody of her child.
I walk my path alone..
I hope it better, have a great day lovely. ❤
🤗
You are not alone, not really.
I was the one in my family who took the brunt; they saw me as the black sheep and also, or alternatively, the scapegoat. No worries, never you mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Wait why was your younger sibling taking the brunt of it? It’s our job as the oldest ones to protect them. Tf
Hang in there brotha
This song is literally just right in every word he sings. So close to home it has a seat in every playlist.
Sup
This song has been burned in my soul. I lost my mother just a few years ago and to hear this song it brings back all those bad memories of my childhood. But keeps me going to do better for my children. Awsome song guys.
Sorry for that
So Sorry for your loss, I lost my dad last year
basically the message is that we all have regret but never let that stop you from making it right no matter how ,many times we wish we could undo it we cant but that is what makes us who we are even if we cant forget no matter how hard we try it is what defines us as a whole regret is a wicked thing but we all have it it is part of life and no matter what we do somethings we just have to move on from even though it hurts badly, to me that is this songs message
I kinda heard it a bit differently.. I'll explain what I mean and hope it makes sense lol
Say I'm in the middle of a breakup and this is the conversation with my person.. if I could do that, could you do that...
I love this song myself because it sorta defines me
I think I read somewhere is letting go and talking about regret that heavy is important to share with your family. Which is what I got from this. A lot easier to have things in the open rather than closed off remembering it all in your own mind. Theres other views we need to listen to them.
It's open to personal perspective, and I respect your thoughts. My differ slightly but I love your interpretation.
@@douglassigmund8620 let me add their are other views or regrets we should also speak up on that we aren't. Whats done in the dark will shine. Have the confidence to be the light before it all ignites.. in many ways.
2013 i lost my older brother and my stepfather, back to back, I never felt more alone in my life then I did when I saw my stepfather die, and that is a pain I live with every day of my life, nothing I can do will ever bring them back, no matter how badly I wish I could take back the things I said, I cant. Remember this, always tell your family and friends that you love them, because you never know when that moment you spent with them will be the last moment.
Is this mike from the 417,it’s Joey goggles
When I had no one. This is the song Id play and cry to. This is song saved me many times and continues to save me.
Myself included. I battled severe depression most of my adult life. I once listened to it for ten minutes straight.
:*
I wish i could cry, i need to,
❤
Parts of this song has a lot of meaning to me ! And my life
I have always loved this song but it hits different now. My husband died unexpectedly on New Years Day and I have never felt more alone. We had just bought a house and he died before the first payment was due. He was so happy and then in an instant he was gone. I have so much anger in me and no real release. It truly is a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone.
My condolences for your loss. Loosing someone is never easy.
“I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known” - Linkin Park (I think)
@@arsenictemperance7940 Green Day
Sending you love! I hope you stay strong and get through this terrible time. This stranger cares for you!
I am soo sorry my deepest wishes to you know that god is on your side I had lost my grandma and my grampa both 2 years ago I miss them soo very much but I know there with me even if i cant see them .
"It's a long and lonely road....WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WALK, ALOOOOOONEEE" I think I've said this on your videos TOO MANY TIMES..... I can relate :/
Too many times, when your own parents abandoned you it’s the lowest
My dad loves this song he wants me to play it if something happens to him this song makes me wanna cry
MidnightFnaflover 99 i hope you never have to play this song then
And it is a good song
@@Hector-rx7gc yes very memorable though my choice would be gone away for when i go or when the seasons change either way these are all amazing songs
Rennako Noramaki good point ffdp is a great band
Rennako Noramaki and make good songs
I love this song, the first time I heard this remembered everything I have done that I regretted and I cried, being 14 at the time, in a bad time of life, facing a lot of challenges, and getting assaulted, it was the thing that just tipped my bucket and it felt good.
Every time I listen to this song I break down and end up screaming and crying to it
This song is so good it makes me cry when I listen to it
Oh man
Me too
This song has a strong place in my heart as it has helped my in my dark place and got me back to the light I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t found this band back in the early 200s
This song reminds me of my dear cousin, we lost her to gun violence on 12-20-20, in her last moments she was visiting and paying respects to a memorial not knowing those moments would be her last. RIP Dezzy, I will never forget the sweet memories I had with you being kids and going to school. 😢
I'm sure we all relate to this song. For me, it's the entirety of the song. They wrote it for all who relate. All the lyrics in this song, for me is 100% my life. That's how much I relate to it. Thank you FFDP, you made this song for all of us. 😶👍👏
This song hits me hard because it reminds me of my childhood
this is kinda how i feel at times unfortunately thats just how it is but death punch has gotten me thuogh a lot of sorrow and regret it has lways spoken to my very soul i always have and always will be a fan til the end
Same
Jesus saves.
I just lost my mother to cancer. My father died 4yr ago from cancer. This song takes me back to my childhood. To bad its not happy memories
I can't say I relate to this song but it's still hits the feels.
I do remember everything....this song was taken out of the depths of my soul somehow???? Love it.....And still I'm moving on....
When Noone understands you including your familly and they gave up on you when you was going through the worst struggles of your life. Then you embraced the struggle and developed and understanding that they dodnt even know and you now hold the key to saving so many! Stay strong fam true enlightenment comes from the struggles and darkest times of your life
If I could Dare to believe,You/anyone actually meant that sincerely 🤦♂️No I Like the song that’s all Nice comment..Blane👌✌️🫶🙏🏻
This song.. It feels so similar to my life.. A dad that I haven't seen since 17 years long (he lives 30km from me), married to another woman who is out on his money. My mom who did her best but I failed a lot in my life because I am too stubborn to listen to my mother and sisters.. But I never quit, get back up and fight your proper errors. But I have that pain really deep in my heart because of regrets.. This brings me such a lot of motivation to get back on the right track 🙏
THANK YOU ❤️
This song speaks to me so much I can’t express
I have so much pain it can never be numb.all the hurt and pain flows through. my heart like a raging river
When the rage inside can't be let out! You know that someone's going to die if it does
ffdp always
This sing is everything i would say to my family .... i jnow it's wring but i feel i would just listen to this before i end everything ..
I just feel i can't hold on anymore .. or i'm barely holding on ...
I just can't stand my self anymore ..
I wanna break down into tears and just dissiper like i've never been there without hurting anyone and without feeling hurt anymore ..
I'm sorry to everyone but i' most sorfy to myself ...
I don't know how much i can keep on being this way anymore ...
@@hadil0710 you keep fighting that’s probably how most are feeling in here,I feel that way EVERY day..come on you can do this just stand up and live with you..your soul is eternal life is just a start of your existence.🫶
All i can say is this is the perfect song. The lyrics are spot on. Damn good tune.
Except for the "before I let you run" it's "before I let you in"
The pain never truly heals, even after it's been so long since the pain was actually inflicted.
I'm still reeling from it, it keeps me up at night, it haunts my every thought, it makes me so afraid that my own child might suffer my fate despite my best intentions.
I remember everything. I can't forget even if I want to.
When I lost my dad, this song made me lose it. I've never lived to to their expectations. I've always been the disappointment. Still, 2 years after losing my dad, even tho he said he was proud of me, I know in my heart I was a disappointment and every day all I want is to take the courage to take my life. But as a failure at everything in life, I have failed numerous times at ending it all. The only thing I've ever truly wanted to succeed at, ending my life, I can't even succeed there. The feeling of disappointment is just so overwhelming. I wish there was a sure fire way to end the pain I feel. I guess being a chicken shit coward is who I will be until it's inevitably my time. Just wish I could hurry the process
Maybe you are meant to be here. Keep going. You’ll find the path. If you keep walking, the path will find you.
You got this. One step at a time.
1:55 - indeed, it’s very lonely
I love this song and all other ffdp songs
Ive only ever seen my dad cry once and he began listening to this
I remeber everything !
This song hits home the words r so true my life
R.I.P. Uncle Moose. I miss so much everyday 10-7-2017
What is that last name
@@kingdavid8470 why?
When you wake up and realize everyone you ever knew stayed one step ahead of you collecting rocks so they can bicker about the the day they finally get to bury you.
This song fucks me up. When he say the Sister part it really pertains to my life. She hates me for real.
I know what your are going through. Me and my so called sister. If you were to chat with us separately you would swear we were raised in separate houses. She is the golden child and I am the screw up. Nowadays she is so full of self righteous indignation..
I felt like this for years didn't want to wake up and face reality that my dad was never ever gonna be there for me I blamed myself for the way I was when I was young, he only wanted to know me when it pleased him, I just wished I never had a dad then it wouldn't feel so painful, I'm glad I had a great mum yes she had her faults like every mother, this song is great
I lost my older brother to suicide in 2017.. Definitely hurts hearing this song but he loved it 💔
This so sums up yesterday for me
this song Reverberates so much what's happening now in Afghanistan our country has fought so long for nothing from 2001 till 2021
🔥❤🔥My Life Story!!!!🔥❤🔥
♥️♥️hugs .I know how it feels
My life story too ❤❤
Being from a family of addicts and feeling the pain of remembering everything is rough man...
😢yes
Sadly this song will never be played live anymore. It is so good!
Yeah they choke up singing it cause of how close it hits to home for one of them
You KNOW you did something right when your own song gets you going in tears
@Joey lyrics mania - Thank You!! Awesome Sound and video!! PeaCe&ReSPeCt, ShelleBelle
my favorite band
my fav song
Mine too
To my beloved mother and brother, to my father who live in eternity now,
I'm sorry, i was never good enough
A timeless song. 😢
This hits so hard
I had to pull over. I started fucking sobbing
Relatable for me, I've so far lived a life I don't wanna remember but I can't forget and have tried almost everything to numb it all it's weird cause the things you think help make it worse
Every word. Perfectly describes my life…my mother, my father being god and how I failed him. My brother I have never stood beside, my sister I gave up when my mom died because I figured it would be better for her. The way I still feel like running away, at 40 I’m still so far from home. Sober for seven years, said I’d never change? But what the fuck do you know…
And above all? I remember everything…
This is my favorite song from my god mother 😍😍❤️🎶🎤😍💕
This want my fav
Ffdp always da best ...
Good song
Literally perfect song to describe me
2:05 to 2:07 really hit hard for me it explains a little of my past
I know that feeling it happend To me too In past
@@ketis06 yeah life sucks tbh
@@EndangeredGhoulMusic not always
@@jessetuominen9551 how do you know? You don't live my life :/
@@EndangeredGhoulMusic oh really
Feels like my childhood
Essa letra bate com força em qualquer um!
Wow that's perfect
I love them too bad I am too young to go to there concerts.👍🤗🤗
4:54pm January 2019, instant flashback to the "pond " 1978.
I rediscovered this memory back in December 2016,how could I forget something like this? I realise that my memory has been wiped but not completely just some events and the " lilly pond " was the first to come back, but the timing was not accidental it was deliberate and precise, my mind remembered the instructions & from complete ignorance to full realization was shocking. In 1978 I fell into a steep sided pond, disgustingly full of the carcasses of a entire herd of pigs, a dozen or more.
Heads,legs,insideds, genitals and the gallons of blood enough to turn the water frothy pink and full of intestines. So how could I forget about this ?
Infrasound frequencies and memory implant techniques using spice to kick it all off.
I'm losing my reason for telling you this ,ok got it, I was given this track to listen to while I was getting my memory back and this song was so emotional for me I couldn't stop a few tears from rolling down my face.
Really powerful words and guitar at that moment when I remembered the pond and many other experiences I had repressed
Joey is the person who share everything
I Remember Everyting.
My favorite FFDP song but admittedly it makes me sad. :(
Wow hit home this song do 😢
All of my grandfathers are no longer with me I would always cry about them
Man I'm hurting inside and this song hit hard
I feel this everyday
Well if you ever wanted to hear this song at concert you cant anymore bc ivan said they wont play it anymore. They have their reasons but man such a good song but there is still more songs.
Why not?
For his family i think. Or bc it had personal stuff in it. Idk but i saw the thing where he said he wouldnt play it anymore.
This song describes me everything that has happened to me its how i feel
3:52-4:20 best part for me
Its a long and lonely road when u know you walk alolen i remember everything i feel like running away im still so far from home you say id never change but wtf do you know i relate to you
You say that I'll never change but what the FUCK do you know.
I feel this line everytime I hear it and I dedicate it to my parents and sister.
Dear mother im sorry im not good enough😢😢😢 im fighting alone 😥💔
Awe
My step brother passed in a fatal car crash last night. This song and gone away are hitting harder than a truck right now.
So sorry. God bless u
Remember everything❤
.....this song describes luther from the umbrella academy so much😔😔
I really like that song Desiree
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING I remember the day you left I remember your first lie I remember all your words all your promises I remember how you made me feel seeing you with him I remember that look I remember that last touch I remember the last time you drove away I remember everything and I wish I couldn't remember the new cause I can't remember the the old just remember
Nerd
Happens to the people youd think itd never happen to. @jennykob7457
Sangat indah untuk dikenang
“I spent years running away until I realised that I could never run from myself and my life pain”people(person) tell’s you your worthless every day of your life…You start to believe that but What the F,CK Do they know,I’m sorry I didn’t live up to expectations & portrayal of what i was supposed to be(To You),I REMEMBER EVERYTHING..I hate My Mind..but eternally grateful for it too.,So many people I’m seeing similar messages My 🫶Goes out to you all🙏🏻
''i remember everything'',sexual abuse songs on spotify got me here.
"It all went by so fast;I still can't change the past".But I Remember EVERYTHING"
I left that
"In my heart I know I failed you"
Bro😢😢😢
Not to be rude but he is actually saying “I’ll burn it all to the ground before I let you in”
How's that rude by saying that?
This song almost kills my soul when I hear it because I can relate to it. My mother allowed me to be abused by many and I’m the bad guy. I walk alone now
Tell my parents at 14 that I was sexually abused from age 7 to 12 by a guy that lived with us and worked at my dad's business & their response was: Don't tell your brother. My brother was 6 years older than me and more of a parent to me then my parents were. So yeah no shit I wasn't gonna tell my brother his supposed best friend raped me for 5 years because he would've literally beat him to death. Then I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for a little over a year because he was cheating on me with my wonderful mother. Then a friend, we'd dated for a few months and dam near killed each other, so we remained friends b/c we knew how literally fucked up the other's home life was. This guy was finding guys for my extremely closeted gay father to sleep with. My mom started kicking me out the house when I was 15 and my dad was clueless that I wasn't even living there that's how much time he spent with me. My brother died 05/20/2007 at age 42; my died 06/03/2008 and we'd managed to repair our relationship. But my dad gave our family business to the little brother of the ex-boyfriend who was sleeping with my mom after I'd worked there for 25+ years - talk about a kick to the fucking teeth. My father has serious issues with females, I should say had since he had dementia now so I can't even tell him he fucked me up b/c he won't remember so what's the point.
I'm definitely use to being alone that's for sure!
I'm sorry
😢 so sorry...i just wanna die but I'm scared of what's left...ppl dnt know hurt...ur words tho
@@illvispresley7325At age 15 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Blackout Rages that caused by the "Fight or Flight Adrenaline", PTSD, Anxiety/Agoraphobia disorder, Clinical Depression. I also went through puberty at age 7 in the summer of 1977 before I started 2nd grade. By the end of 2nd grade I was 5ft tall, wearing a DD-cup bra, & weighed 95 lbs. I knew that I I was different physically. Nobody said anything to me after I beat the living hell out of a few kids.
People with BPD are more likely to commit suicide because were impulsive and self destructive. I attempted suicide when I was 9: did a swan dive from a 35 ft+ high hayloft to a concrete floor, the tips of my shoe caught the edge and tilted me. So I gave myself a concussion, broke my nose, looked like a raccoon, and had serious concrete rash across my entire left side of my face. I didn't plan it the idea popped into my head the next thing I knew I was picking myself up off the concrete floor in the barn (we were living in BFE literally). I told my parents I fell which they bought, but my brother wasn't buying it because he was always yelling at me for climbing around in trees & the way the hayloft was laid out my brother was convinced the neighbor kid pushed me. He was ready to go Lynch the kid so I had to come clean. He agreed to not tell my parents adrenaline long as I promised him I'd never try to kill myself again: because he was always there for me to talk to. We'd moved to a new town before my BPD diagnosis. And after my diagnosis, in the summer of 1986, around my birthday (07/14) I was at a field party I'd eaten a ton if shrooms, dropped acid, drank over a case of beer and a fifth of Jack Daniels by myself (at 95-lbs I definitely had alcohol poisoning) and 2 of my closest friends figured out that I was buying and taking pills from several different people: so long story short I wound up at the hospital, strapped down, being forced to drink that charcoal crap, and having my stomach pumped... I definitely wouldn't recommend it.! I've been on both sides of suicide attempting it and have had a few very good friends commit suicide. I understand the hopelessness, emotional emptiness, and pure hell your mind puts you through. I've also seen the pain left behind for the survivors thinking if they missed something, if they would've just did this different or reacted to that different - they basically blame themselves for a very long time. I would never say suicide is the cowards way out, as I said: I get it, I think about killing myself every day, but I get through each day because I can laugh at myself and find humor in my state of mind which is definitely far from normal... I wouldn't want to be normal all the BS I went through made me who I am. I might have a slightly morbid, twisted sense of humor, and yeah I'm a fkn handful, but I have made some really good friends over the internet via an international internet radio station: we're all insane in one way or other, we're a small group (my friends, not thelistener's). The reason I posted my original post was because I have a lot of anger towards my father, and as I stated: he messed with my self esteem all the time, never once told me he was proud of me, before his mind went: he even replaced my dead brother and myself with a new son and the guys wife took my place. I know I'm a big girl, and thinking my father would give the family business, I'd worked at for 25-30+ years (when he knew I wanted to go into game and movie animation, back when it just required certification courses on the 90's) But he gave the family business to his new family. He has full blown Alzheimer's & don't even know who I am now. I could tell him what my shrinks have told me that I need to day to him for closure, but I doubt I'll ever get it.
I do plan on writing a book of my life because the things I've posted here is only 25% of the crap I've been through. I'm thankful for the people that said they were sorry, but it's all good. I refuse to give up, it's not easy fighting with your own thoughts everyday, but I'm a fighter!
Try to take life one day at a time, like me. If everyone your surrounded by makes you feel like you don't deserve to live: find new people! Believe me, I'm a recovering alcoholic, and quite a few people I thought were my close friends won't even answer the phone when I call, or text me back because I stopped partying or it could be that I'm in the process of getting on disability, and dirt poor when I use to always have cash: it doesn't matter, they were never real friends. @lllvis Presley, I'm not gonna say I know what you're going through because I honestly don't, I can relate though! There's private groups on FB that can help when you're having an extremely bad day or seriously need to talk. I'm in a couple BPD groups, but I tend to talk to my friends on the phone they're all over the US, Canada, and one's in England, I'm in Detroit, Michigan so my book will have to be a best seller if I ever want to actually hang with them in rl... Please just know that you are important, you matter, and if anyone tells you otherwise, you tell them to fck off!!!
thats rough buddy
@@sunnyskylarup158 It's all good: I have thick skin; learned early on that I could only "really" depend on myself, so if I want something I'll figure out how to get it on my own and if I don't get it, I guess I didn't want that bad. I have some very good & close friends that I'm grateful to have, but the only thing I'll accept from them, or want is their friendship and support. I never allow myself to become dependent on anyone, not even my husband that I've been with since June 1991: as he's an active alcoholic and I'm a recovering alcoholic (9+ years alcohol free & no I don't preach to people who drink... Since I stopped drinking, my husband goes to bats without me, which I've never had a problem with. I do have an issue with being cheated on at least 2x that I know of. That's the only rule I ever had: Don't fucken cheat on me. He broke that and out marriage because I can't trust him... So yeah we're probably getting divorced eventually...
Me too, every day
This hits home oh this hits fucking home me and my dad have a strained relationship
Yes it is when u walk alone
I love this song....but I wish I didn't understand it
0:26
1:31
One mistake at 16...i remember every bloody thing said before i walked away. ✌️
When u screaming this song at the top of ur lungs with tears down ur face
When you know you walk alone... ❄️ 🌬️
Tears