Hi everyone! I don't have time to respond to all of your lovely comments yet, but I just wanted to say that I've blocked the user who left that horrible comment from the channel. I receive many hate comments on any gay videos I film and often leave them up because they don't personally affect me, but this commenter was threatening violence against trans people which is unacceptable. I appreciate all of your concern for me, but don't worry! I filmed this video now because I am very resilient in my identity and place in the gay community. Those kinds of comments are a big reason I make sure to be in trans inclusive spaces where I don't have to worry about my physical safety! I really thought your responses to him were very sweet and I love the community we have here 🥰
I'm not trans, but have been questioning my identity recently from all different angles. It's been intense. But your occasional uploads are always so exciting, insightful, and helpful in wherever I'm at in my journey. Thanks for being your same awesome self Arthur, you're helping in big ways whether u know it or not!! keep going :)
The guy that looked disgusted wasn't disgusted at you hun. He was a homosexual man and he didn't know how to react because he was into the same sex. Same body parts. Its just the reality but it has nothing to do with you and YOU aren't disgusting.
I love your videos, thank you so much for sharing. I'm in a pretty similar place to where I'm guessing you were 1-2 years ago, realizing gay cis men aren't as bad as the internet makes them out to be, lol. In fact, spaces where there are mostly gay (cis) men are becoming the spaces where I am most comfortable now :D
I found that online trans spaces were really negative and got to the point where people would start hating on cisgender gay men to an extent that was unfair (IMO) and weirdly felt alienating to me because I do associate with a lot of cis gay men and love the gay community dearly. I haven't been rejected for being trans, I guess I have been lucky, or maybe a lot of people take any rejection as being about being trans. I hope your video and our comments can provide some young trans guys with hope, cause I know I felt that I would be really lonely and constantly rejected when I was younger and starting transition. Sorry that that one experience happened to you, it really is gross that people behave that way.
I think online spaces are more negative about everything. Period. Happy people tend to spend less time online and so there's a huge selection problem. (Which I try to combat with my channel!)
I feel like if you're kissing someone fully clothed it doesn't really matter what's under your clothes? Like, they can see your face, they're attracted to your face, that's all that they get access to in that moment. If I'm not into baldness, and I meet someone who looks hot in a wig, then cool? I get to make out with someone who I think is hot in that situation. Or heck, anyone who looks hot with a bunch of makeup and club lighting. That's not deception, that's just... if you only make out with someone for 5 minutes you won't know every single thing about them, duh. But yeah, having someone express disgust over something you already hate yourself... really stings. Thanks for sharing your experience! And thanks for taking the time to process things first for yourself!
We all got hurted and rejected in Grindr. years ago before I met my trans boyfriend I also suffered rejection on these kind.of apps. We all do. Try to not even take so personal. Greetings. Great channel.
You must live in a progressive area :P I've definitely had plenty of people that I've messaged on Grindr tell me they're "not into trans guys", even if I've said nothing about what parts I have or what kind of sex I like to have. And then most of my messages don't get responses (which I know is kind of typical on Grindr and I can't confirm that it's due to my transness or not, but whatever). I *have* been surprised at the number of folks that HAVE messaged me though and been either excited or just neutral about my transness. So I would always suggest for trans folks to be up front and let people come to you (at least on the apps lol).
Actually, I was surprised by how many people DID want to sleep with me after I transitioned. We all have boundaries?? Like for me it's a hard pass when someone's in an "open relationship" and I really think you should self declare that before getting involved with someone if it's going deeper than a makeout. And even then a polite "no thanks" will suffice lol. We're told over and over again as trans people how everyone's supposedly doing us a favour by being attracted to us and we should take what we can get but I haven't found that to be the reality like at all really 😅
I think theres a book you might like its called Gay Bar: Why We Went Out. The author dosen't ever talk about being with a trans guy but he mentions trans people in gay and queer spaces and challenges the rigid concepts surrounding gay culture. As a young bi transguy, it gave me a lot of knowledge and reassurance for the future as well as things to contemplate as I find my way in the world. Since you are already a part of the gay scene i think your own perspective will make the book a lot more meaningful.
Hey Arthur. I know cis men who have breast development because they were on estrogen for a period for deciding transitioning wasn't for them. Gynecomastia also isn't super rare. So if people want to go groping around people's chest (even if it's normalized, i've done it before, and have had it done to me), you have to keep in mind that you might not get exactly what you're expecting. IMO, you didn't "trick" this dude any more than a cis man with a higher level of breast tissue "tricks" cis gay men.
that sounds horrifying! I'm glad you got past through it. it's definitely not your fault and not your responsibility. there's a lot of things that can turn people off, some people don't like tattoos or body hair, it's their responsibility to gatekeep that. you didn't do anything wrong just by existing. if he's touching a stranger under the shirt without asking, he has to be ready for it
If „it gets better“ was a person, that would be you for me! Thank you for your thoughts, I am watching this with a weekend of gay parties ahead hehe (the first ones post op).
just dont use your preferences to be transphobic and we are good! for example, if a guy ur interested in tells you hes trans, without bottom surgery, dont just like, call him a slur or say hes disgusting or a woman. just say, you know, hey! im really sorry, you're lovely, i just have a preference. as long as youre kind and normal thats all you can really do. you may hurt their feelings, but that doesnt make you transphobic. saying transphobic things, though, THAT will.
No, it isn't. It's a physical preference. It may be transphobic to assume all trans guys are the same though, some have dicks too 😉! Tactful rejection is OK. I have my preferences too, so I explain it and say "it wouldn't be sexually good for both of us, so I rather not do it", or something like that. Nobody can bypass preferences, the key is to not be a douche about it, and not generalise without knowing.
@@xeganxerxes4319, not necessarily transphobic. Same SEX doesn't mean same GENDER... you are a dude who likes dicks... and some trans women have them too 😁.
To those trans people on line who demand we accept and date them. Perhaps it's not as much about you being trans but your attitude. I won't mention their name. But the one who says you will respect us and feels we must date them.. No body has to respect or date me and nobody has to respect or date you. We have the free right to choose not to. Attitude attitude attitude!
Where in his video did he say cis gay men have to date him. Do you have a timestamp? Or are you just making shit up? I have never seen trans men demand gay men date or respect them. It tends to be the opposite. Here you are, making up a strawman of a fictional trans man, and deliberately seeking out videos on trans men to comment stupid shit that everyone already knows.
Your videos are such a gift to the community. Thank you for making them, they help me out a lot :) EDIT: Not sure if you personally deleted the hateful comments, but I appreciate it. It sucks that people go out of their way to be a-holes.
Thank you for sharing your experiences Arthur ❤ That hate comment is absolutely disgusting and insidious. People say things like "I'm not transphobic I respect trans people's pronouns but trans men are women" lol It doesn't matter anyway, because in the real world things are different. Gay men are attracted to me even after knowing I'm trans 🤷♂️ Some may reject me, but that has yet to happen. And who cares anyway. You're a gay man, and I wish you nothing but happiness 💖
it's so stupid when people claim that being trans is "deceiving" someone. like unless you intend to have sex with a person, you don't really need to get into your personal biology. making out in a club setting is a free for all. sure, tell them if they want to take you home, but why would it matter otherwise? they're all strangers
A homoSEXual is by definition same SEX attraction. HOMO meaning same. A heteroSEXual is by definition different SEX attraction. A female attracted to males is heterosexual. It's important trans people don't change what it is to be LGB. You are trans and heterosexual.
No he’s not. He said explicitly that he’s a gay man. It’s YOU who is changing what it is to be LGB to fit your agenda. I am a cis gay male, and I have dated trans guys in the past, and have been told by people like yourself that I am not really gay because I don’t have a problem dating trans guys (so long as they have transitioned physically).
I’m a trans guy and I can tell u that no straight man ever checks me out. So what’s the point of saying all those “based theories” if they have no application on real society
@@peckgardnerbut you are still a biological female. Yes you can pass as a man in society, but it doesn’t change the fact that a gay man is only attracted to other biological males. It’s 2024, why do I have to explain this fact now?
People simply having a label is not going to change anything. If I'm a man, trans or not, and I'm attracted to men. That's gay. What's the term for being gay? Homosexual. Does a trans guy being homosexual make cis gay men no longer homosexual? No, it doesn't. Labels mean different things to different people. This is how language has always been since the beginning of humanity. You know who IS trying to change what it means to be LGB? People who hate gay and trans people equally.
@eggingtonmcbeata As a lesbian, I assure you this is one of the main reasons LGB without the TQ needs to happen. You don't get to appropriate us. You don't get to redefine us to suit your own purposes. A transman is a female and if they are attracted to men, they are in a heteroSEXual relationship. Hetero meaning different. Two different sexed people in a relationship are heterosexual. Get this in your head. A gay person is a male homoSEXual. Homo meaning same. It is a same sex attracted male. If you are female you will never be a gay man. Someone who is male will never be a lesbian. Again, you need to get this in your head. It does your cause no favours to keep peeving off us LGB.
I don’t like how this guy is being painted as some awful person for his reaction. What are you expecting when you, as you say, want to go around making out with guys for fun as a biological female? Most guys in a gay club aren’t bi or looking for biological females. You were coercing gay guys into making out and touching up on you but he’s the problem? Smh.
Arthur is not a biological female. He has biologically changed his biological sex makeup. He is a gay man and naturally seeks other gay men, who if you even watched this or any of his videos, have been largely happy to hook up or enter relationships with him. Try again.
You got really awful comments (edit to make it plural,, how did these people find your video when you just uploaded it? Seems like they just wanna troll. Hope you are alright Arthur! Take care of yourself.) on this and of course your bound to get hate comments but it feels vicious that they found your video when you have a smaller channel only to invalidate your, and all transpeople's identities. I appericiate you continue to upload and talk about your experiences so candidly despite getting toxic comments. It takes guts and it helps us x
This was really interesting to watch- my reaction to your story was similar to what your trans friends said, like, dude, if you're going to randomly stick a hand up some stranger's shirt without any prior discussion, don't be surprised if maybe it's not whatever you were expecting. It was reassuring. to hear that your experiences have generally been positive ones, though; I recently joined a group for queer guys (I would say that I'm a chaos bisexual these days, but definitely leaning more towards an interest in men)- nothing sexual, just doing outdoor activities and stuff together- and I was still freaking myself out before the first meeting I went to, but in the end, it was great. No one was weird, no one acted like I shouldn't be there (or worse, like I should be grateful to be "allowed" to be there), and it was a really affirming experience. I think so much of the rhetoric about trans people in online, gay spaces can be so toxic, it's easy to assume that that's how everyone is when real life is... not online, and most people, even people not interested in trans people, aren't going to conduct themselves IRL the way they would online. Thankfully.
Agreeeeed the real world is so much better than the online world. It was such a lovely surprise when I started putting myself out there! Also I love the expression "chaos bisexual" hahaha
3:00 so you say you KNOW these men didn’t know you were female and were misled in a space that should have been safe for them to be gay and you’re the somehow the victim?
At first I looked at the title and was like "oh my god". Then I looked at Arthur and had the same reaction, but in the different tone of, I believe, admiration hahaha. I dig your conversation videos a lot, thanks for sharing your experience!
Thank you for your openness and sharing your stories, it’s helpful for me in my transitioning journey. I love how you speak about those topics with so much clarity… we need more representation of gay/bi trans men feeling desired and loved🙏 btw have you watch the series tales of the city? There’s a really beautiful gay trans story there
Arthur, thank you so much for filming these. Throughout my transition, your videos have been a safe space for me and gave me a beacon of light for trans representation. Much love your way ~
Hi Arthur, you're so cute! I am also another trans guy on grindr, I hope you're t4t but most likely I wont ever meet you because I am from another side of the world. I have seen 3 of your videos so far and they're amazing and helpful to me so thanks again. Much love
@@calistafalcontail sorry girlie but I am a healthy man and I am happy too! Sucks you can't be happy right now, but I am not fazed by faceless internet coward zzz
Looking forward to watching this video! Dating is a little more complicated now that I'm cis passing and hearing other trans guy's perspectives is really helpful (and comforting).
Interesting! Personally I stick with bi and pan people, because I feel they are more inclusive. That said, some gay dudes weren't put off by my - very visible - transness, and it went fine. It may be easier when you pass as well as you do, but I wouldn't dare to go to a gay bar or app to hook up, because I look like an indian god ( the androgynous Shiva, complete with boobs and belly 😝). Trans people are diverse, and we all are valid. I love your videos, always fun to watch! (by the way, you have such beautiful eyes! 😲).
Thank you Arthur, I'm enjoying the videos and you sharing your experiences with us, I'm a mum of a trans man teen, this is all new to me, so I'm doing as much research and gathering of information that I can, we resonate with you and we think you are very handsome and wish you the very best life has to offer.. I'm sorry you had that bad experience in the nightclub, stay strong warrior ❤
aww thank you for watching! this is really sweet that you're gathering information on behalf of him. i think every trans person wishes they had a parent that thoughtful
I came to your channel looking for a trans-person that speaks open and honestly. You could not be more perfect. I don't agree with everything and sure there are some videos which might fall into the TMI column - but if someone doesn't lift the veil how do we learn. So thanks for that. Your sincereity is on an unmatched level. To be honest, by NOT being a raging lunatic, over the top trans-zelot you are way more persuasive. The fact you were so cautious, patient and thoughtful through your transistion seems to have worked.
Just thinking about you today, and I wanted to come to your channel and say thank you for sharing your gender experience. I would love to hear you talk about gender euphoria and how that has or hasn't informed your process of transitioning.
Him: So after being harassed there, I just told everyone I would not be going to gay clubs ever again [...] 😔 Me: 😮 Also him, about ten seconds later: [...] I still spend most of my money on gay clubs. 😅 Also me: I figured out that me being ace, polyamorous and trans is not the biggest turn off to my relationship options, while not fitting in perfectly anywhere, specially when talking about gender seems to be the reason why I have spent the first two decades of my life without any committed intimate relationship. ☕️👌
@@ws6778HomoSEXuals are by definition same SEX attracted. The video is made by a female who dates males. That by definition is heteroSEXual. The T should not try to redefine the LGB.
@@mjones8170 Dude, if there are gay men who want to date females who looks like males, this is none of your business, is very hypocritical to try to police the relationships of others when you yourself have your own relationships policed by conservatives, just live and let live.
@@ws6778 firetruck off. Homosexuality is same sex attracted. People don't get to appropriate groups they don't belong to. Heterosexual people do not have the right to call themselves homosexual. LGB without the TQ is going to need to happen.
Hey Arthur. I'm a cis pansexual guy and my boyfriend is ftm gay guy also. Congrats for your channel. I hope you doing fine, I met my boyfriend in the first from Grindr.
I'm so glad I found this, I'm trans but I'm not old enough yet, so I wanted to know and see how this are going to be and you did exactly that thank youu
Thats really comforting to hear, im a really anxious person and idk I sorta assumed that not even 50% but most people just dont like trans people and so that I would get rejection like that from most people. Maybe I dont have such assumptions 😅
hey Arthur! I recently discovered your channel and just had to pop in and say that it's a great representation. I'm in the similar stage of life as you, as a gay trans man. I'm struggling to open up to cis people, especially gay dudes. It might be because I'm awkward and find it hard to just walk up to and start a conversation with strangers, but after watching your videos I think I might start pushing myself to do just that! :) When it comes to being shirtless, I'm over a year post-op but I have hypertrophic scars so unfortunately it's not as easy for me, I certainly don't feel attractive physically because of that. But nevertheless great work!!!
It's because you are very physically attractive. Your above average looks make it very hard to reject yoy because there are very few people like us LOL (considered "handsome") sorry that this will surely sound VERY HAUGHTY/arrogant but i am just thinking out loud and being brutally honest right now- but just don't gain too much weight bcuz based on my experience, if you get chubby (like i am now again bcuz of stress but i am determined to be fit again asap) you will prolly get rejected more often ( although there are some guys who are chub chasers, it seems the MAJORITY dont like chubs and are into fit men)
This seems to suit the affirming part of why I want to split gay three ways; a branch of gay specifically welcoming of trans men (on all fronts, including sexual) would seem to be a boon all around. I do wish people would stop using the word preference the way that is now in vogue. When I was active, my preference was to avoid a*** or o***, though I would do one or the other from time to time. I did have requirements, both positive and negative. I always waited to be approached and never approached anyone, except for occasionally making the initial contact in a correspondence club. I can appreciate your points about confidence, but my self-confidence has always been entirely in other areas. I did eventually develop confidence in what I could do, but never had any confidence about my appearance.
Hi everyone! I don't have time to respond to all of your lovely comments yet, but I just wanted to say that I've blocked the user who left that horrible comment from the channel. I receive many hate comments on any gay videos I film and often leave them up because they don't personally affect me, but this commenter was threatening violence against trans people which is unacceptable. I appreciate all of your concern for me, but don't worry! I filmed this video now because I am very resilient in my identity and place in the gay community. Those kinds of comments are a big reason I make sure to be in trans inclusive spaces where I don't have to worry about my physical safety! I really thought your responses to him were very sweet and I love the community we have here 🥰
I'm not trans, but have been questioning my identity recently from all different angles. It's been intense. But your occasional uploads are always so exciting, insightful, and helpful in wherever I'm at in my journey. Thanks for being your same awesome self Arthur, you're helping in big ways whether u know it or not!! keep going :)
@@luxxestone7462 she is a woman, listen to Detrans voices now!
The guy that looked disgusted wasn't disgusted at you hun. He was a homosexual man and he didn't know how to react because he was into the same sex. Same body parts. Its just the reality but it has nothing to do with you and YOU aren't disgusting.
I love your videos, thank you so much for sharing. I'm in a pretty similar place to where I'm guessing you were 1-2 years ago, realizing gay cis men aren't as bad as the internet makes them out to be, lol. In fact, spaces where there are mostly gay (cis) men are becoming the spaces where I am most comfortable now :D
I found that online trans spaces were really negative and got to the point where people would start hating on cisgender gay men to an extent that was unfair (IMO) and weirdly felt alienating to me because I do associate with a lot of cis gay men and love the gay community dearly. I haven't been rejected for being trans, I guess I have been lucky, or maybe a lot of people take any rejection as being about being trans. I hope your video and our comments can provide some young trans guys with hope, cause I know I felt that I would be really lonely and constantly rejected when I was younger and starting transition.
Sorry that that one experience happened to you, it really is gross that people behave that way.
I think online spaces are more negative about everything. Period. Happy people tend to spend less time online and so there's a huge selection problem. (Which I try to combat with my channel!)
I feel like if you're kissing someone fully clothed it doesn't really matter what's under your clothes? Like, they can see your face, they're attracted to your face, that's all that they get access to in that moment. If I'm not into baldness, and I meet someone who looks hot in a wig, then cool? I get to make out with someone who I think is hot in that situation. Or heck, anyone who looks hot with a bunch of makeup and club lighting. That's not deception, that's just... if you only make out with someone for 5 minutes you won't know every single thing about them, duh.
But yeah, having someone express disgust over something you already hate yourself... really stings.
Thanks for sharing your experience! And thanks for taking the time to process things first for yourself!
We all got hurted and rejected in Grindr. years ago before I met my trans boyfriend I also suffered rejection on these kind.of apps. We all do. Try to not even take so personal. Greetings. Great channel.
You must live in a progressive area :P I've definitely had plenty of people that I've messaged on Grindr tell me they're "not into trans guys", even if I've said nothing about what parts I have or what kind of sex I like to have. And then most of my messages don't get responses (which I know is kind of typical on Grindr and I can't confirm that it's due to my transness or not, but whatever). I *have* been surprised at the number of folks that HAVE messaged me though and been either excited or just neutral about my transness. So I would always suggest for trans folks to be up front and let people come to you (at least on the apps lol).
Actually, I was surprised by how many people DID want to sleep with me after I transitioned.
We all have boundaries?? Like for me it's a hard pass when someone's in an "open relationship" and I really think you should self declare that before getting involved with someone if it's going deeper than a makeout. And even then a polite "no thanks" will suffice lol. We're told over and over again as trans people how everyone's supposedly doing us a favour by being attracted to us and we should take what we can get but I haven't found that to be the reality like at all really 😅
Absolutely!! We all have deal breakers and it should be nbd to reject people based on these very personal preferences
I think theres a book you might like its called Gay Bar: Why We Went Out. The author dosen't ever talk about being with a trans guy but he mentions trans people in gay and queer spaces and challenges the rigid concepts surrounding gay culture. As a young bi transguy, it gave me a lot of knowledge and reassurance for the future as well as things to contemplate as I find my way in the world. Since you are already a part of the gay scene i think your own perspective will make the book a lot more meaningful.
Hey Arthur. I know cis men who have breast development because they were on estrogen for a period for deciding transitioning wasn't for them. Gynecomastia also isn't super rare. So if people want to go groping around people's chest (even if it's normalized, i've done it before, and have had it done to me), you have to keep in mind that you might not get exactly what you're expecting. IMO, you didn't "trick" this dude any more than a cis man with a higher level of breast tissue "tricks" cis gay men.
that sounds horrifying! I'm glad you got past through it. it's definitely not your fault and not your responsibility. there's a lot of things that can turn people off, some people don't like tattoos or body hair, it's their responsibility to gatekeep that. you didn't do anything wrong just by existing. if he's touching a stranger under the shirt without asking, he has to be ready for it
i love your pfp! 90s david tennant so real so true
@@chickenwithitsheadcutoff thank you! i agree
If „it gets better“ was a person, that would be you for me! Thank you for your thoughts, I am watching this with a weekend of gay parties ahead hehe (the first ones post op).
Awww this really made me smile 💞
What are opinions about Gay guy who only like guy with a d*ck?
Is that part of transphobia or no?
People are attracted to certain genitals. It's not transphobic to have a sexuality. You cannot help what you are or aren't attracted to.
It’s not transphobic to have a genital preference, it only becomes transphobia when they make it a main part of their sexuality.
just dont use your preferences to be transphobic and we are good! for example, if a guy ur interested in tells you hes trans, without bottom surgery, dont just like, call him a slur or say hes disgusting or a woman. just say, you know, hey! im really sorry, you're lovely, i just have a preference. as long as youre kind and normal thats all you can really do. you may hurt their feelings, but that doesnt make you transphobic. saying transphobic things, though, THAT will.
No, it isn't. It's a physical preference. It may be transphobic to assume all trans guys are the same though, some have dicks too 😉!
Tactful rejection is OK. I have my preferences too, so I explain it and say "it wouldn't be sexually good for both of us, so I rather not do it", or something like that. Nobody can bypass preferences, the key is to not be a douche about it, and not generalise without knowing.
@@xeganxerxes4319, not necessarily transphobic. Same SEX doesn't mean same GENDER... you are a dude who likes dicks... and some trans women have them too 😁.
22:20, feminine and effeminate are very different words.
To those trans people on line who demand we accept and date them. Perhaps it's not as much about you being trans but your attitude. I won't mention their name. But the one who says you will respect us and feels we must date them.. No body has to respect or date me and nobody has to respect or date you. We have the free right to choose not to. Attitude attitude attitude!
Where in his video did he say cis gay men have to date him. Do you have a timestamp? Or are you just making shit up?
I have never seen trans men demand gay men date or respect them. It tends to be the opposite.
Here you are, making up a strawman of a fictional trans man, and deliberately seeking out videos on trans men to comment stupid shit that everyone already knows.
Your videos are such a gift to the community. Thank you for making them, they help me out a lot :)
EDIT: Not sure if you personally deleted the hateful comments, but I appreciate it. It sucks that people go out of their way to be a-holes.
Your trans joy is my favorite thing about your videos.
Thank you for sharing your experiences Arthur ❤ That hate comment is absolutely disgusting and insidious. People say things like "I'm not transphobic I respect trans people's pronouns but trans men are women" lol It doesn't matter anyway, because in the real world things are different. Gay men are attracted to me even after knowing I'm trans 🤷♂️ Some may reject me, but that has yet to happen. And who cares anyway. You're a gay man, and I wish you nothing but happiness 💖
You biological sex is female. Your gender identity is man.
Why?
what do you mean why
@@mozzarellaman_6967 i think they meant why is he handsome
it's so stupid when people claim that being trans is "deceiving" someone. like unless you intend to have sex with a person, you don't really need to get into your personal biology. making out in a club setting is a free for all. sure, tell them if they want to take you home, but why would it matter otherwise? they're all strangers
A homoSEXual is by definition same SEX attraction. HOMO meaning same. A heteroSEXual is by definition different SEX attraction. A female attracted to males is heterosexual. It's important trans people don't change what it is to be LGB. You are trans and heterosexual.
No he’s not. He said explicitly that he’s a gay man. It’s YOU who is changing what it is to be LGB to fit your agenda. I am a cis gay male, and I have dated trans guys in the past, and have been told by people like yourself that I am not really gay because I don’t have a problem dating trans guys (so long as they have transitioned physically).
I’m a trans guy and I can tell u that no straight man ever checks me out. So what’s the point of saying all those “based theories” if they have no application on real society
@@peckgardnerbut you are still a biological female. Yes you can pass as a man in society, but it doesn’t change the fact that a gay man is only attracted to other biological males.
It’s 2024, why do I have to explain this fact now?
People simply having a label is not going to change anything. If I'm a man, trans or not, and I'm attracted to men. That's gay. What's the term for being gay? Homosexual. Does a trans guy being homosexual make cis gay men no longer homosexual? No, it doesn't. Labels mean different things to different people. This is how language has always been since the beginning of humanity. You know who IS trying to change what it means to be LGB? People who hate gay and trans people equally.
@eggingtonmcbeata As a lesbian, I assure you this is one of the main reasons LGB without the TQ needs to happen. You don't get to appropriate us. You don't get to redefine us to suit your own purposes. A transman is a female and if they are attracted to men, they are in a heteroSEXual relationship. Hetero meaning different. Two different sexed people in a relationship are heterosexual. Get this in your head. A gay person is a male homoSEXual. Homo meaning same. It is a same sex attracted male. If you are female you will never be a gay man. Someone who is male will never be a lesbian. Again, you need to get this in your head. It does your cause no favours to keep peeving off us LGB.
I don’t like how this guy is being painted as some awful person for his reaction. What are you expecting when you, as you say, want to go around making out with guys for fun as a biological female? Most guys in a gay club aren’t bi or looking for biological females. You were coercing gay guys into making out and touching up on you but he’s the problem? Smh.
Arthur is not a biological female. He has biologically changed his biological sex makeup. He is a gay man and naturally seeks other gay men, who if you even watched this or any of his videos, have been largely happy to hook up or enter relationships with him. Try again.
Cringe AF and stay out of gay bars you Lesbian 😅
@@autumnjacaranda106bullshit!!
Here to just add something nice to say instead of that other disgusting comment. Thanks for sharing, bro!
@d1g1cxlt bro what planet do you live on???? sebbestplace literally said nothing
@@nuniyoa Bro's on the planet of WHO ASKED? and getting 3 views a video lol. Brakence would hate you btw.
Thanks for sharing this story, I’m really sorry that happened to you and that it impacted you as much as it did at the time.
6:57, maybe for him it was like touching some ones bandages. It would be gross.
15:34, he probably thought if it like some one find a colostomy bag. He probably was surprised, uncertain and turned off.
You got really awful comments (edit to make it plural,, how did these people find your video when you just uploaded it? Seems like they just wanna troll. Hope you are alright Arthur! Take care of yourself.) on this and of course your bound to get hate comments but it feels vicious that they found your video when you have a smaller channel only to invalidate your, and all transpeople's identities. I appericiate you continue to upload and talk about your experiences so candidly despite getting toxic comments. It takes guts and it helps us x
This was really interesting to watch- my reaction to your story was similar to what your trans friends said, like, dude, if you're going to randomly stick a hand up some stranger's shirt without any prior discussion, don't be surprised if maybe it's not whatever you were expecting.
It was reassuring. to hear that your experiences have generally been positive ones, though; I recently joined a group for queer guys (I would say that I'm a chaos bisexual these days, but definitely leaning more towards an interest in men)- nothing sexual, just doing outdoor activities and stuff together- and I was still freaking myself out before the first meeting I went to, but in the end, it was great. No one was weird, no one acted like I shouldn't be there (or worse, like I should be grateful to be "allowed" to be there), and it was a really affirming experience. I think so much of the rhetoric about trans people in online, gay spaces can be so toxic, it's easy to assume that that's how everyone is when real life is... not online, and most people, even people not interested in trans people, aren't going to conduct themselves IRL the way they would online. Thankfully.
Agreeeeed the real world is so much better than the online world. It was such a lovely surprise when I started putting myself out there! Also I love the expression "chaos bisexual" hahaha
3:00 so you say you KNOW these men didn’t know you were female and were misled in a space that should have been safe for them to be gay and you’re the somehow the victim?
You're such a wholesome person Arthur, your videos really help me and a ton of other trans people out there so much
At first I looked at the title and was like "oh my god". Then I looked at Arthur and had the same reaction, but in the different tone of, I believe, admiration hahaha. I dig your conversation videos a lot, thanks for sharing your experience!
Thank you for your openness and sharing your stories, it’s helpful for me in my transitioning journey. I love how you speak about those topics with so much clarity… we need more representation of gay/bi trans men feeling desired and loved🙏 btw have you watch the series tales of the city? There’s a really beautiful gay trans story there
Arthur, thank you so much for filming these. Throughout my transition, your videos have been a safe space for me and gave me a beacon of light for trans representation. Much love your way ~
Aw this is such a sweet comment and I am honored to have been that for you 🥰
Kudos to you Arthur for living your best life!
3:03, interesting
Hi Arthur, you're so cute! I am also another trans guy on grindr, I hope you're t4t but most likely I wont ever meet you because I am from another side of the world. I have seen 3 of your videos so far and they're amazing and helpful to me so thanks again. Much love
Poor girl....hope you get well soon.
@@calistafalcontail sorry girlie but I am a healthy man and I am happy too! Sucks you can't be happy right now, but I am not fazed by faceless internet coward zzz
@@ytcommentdude4155 Just report them.
thanks for sharing！wow that hater comment💀
Right :( He keeps commenting on Arthur's videos. Mate needs to stop watching if it bothers him so much.
Looking forward to watching this video! Dating is a little more complicated now that I'm cis passing and hearing other trans guy's perspectives is really helpful (and comforting).
Yup, complicated to be cis passing, but amazing to finally be authentic
Interesting! Personally I stick with bi and pan people, because I feel they are more inclusive. That said, some gay dudes weren't put off by my - very visible - transness, and it went fine. It may be easier when you pass as well as you do, but I wouldn't dare to go to a gay bar or app to hook up, because I look like an indian god ( the androgynous Shiva, complete with boobs and belly 😝).
Trans people are diverse, and we all are valid. I love your videos, always fun to watch! (by the way, you have such beautiful eyes! 😲).
I was shocked seeing my name here 😂😂😂
@@god_of_mischief_2006, oh hello 😁!
@@Johnny_T779 hi 😅😅
It effected you because you were caught lying 🤥
Can I ask a really silly question? Why are you hooking up with men if you have a boyfriend? Is that a thing?
We're in an open relationship! So it is a thing for us and can be for anyone who wants that (+ their partner does too).
So the bf can still be with men
He is hooking up left and right cause this is what gay men are “supposed” to do. It’s an identity for him.
@@arthur_rockwellGoing stealth in a gay bar you loser!!
Thank you Arthur, I'm enjoying the videos and you sharing your experiences with us, I'm a mum of a trans man teen, this is all new to me, so I'm doing as much research and gathering of information that I can, we resonate with you and we think you are very handsome and wish you the very best life has to offer.. I'm sorry you had that bad experience in the nightclub, stay strong warrior ❤
aww thank you for watching! this is really sweet that you're gathering information on behalf of him. i think every trans person wishes they had a parent that thoughtful
I came to your channel looking for a trans-person that speaks open and honestly. You could not be more perfect. I don't agree with everything and sure there are some videos which might fall into the TMI column - but if someone doesn't lift the veil how do we learn. So thanks for that. Your sincereity is on an unmatched level. To be honest, by NOT being a raging lunatic, over the top trans-zelot you are way more persuasive. The fact you were so cautious, patient and thoughtful through your transistion seems to have worked.
Just thinking about you today, and I wanted to come to your channel and say thank you for sharing your gender experience. I would love to hear you talk about gender euphoria and how that has or hasn't informed your process of transitioning.
Him: So after being harassed there, I just told everyone I would not be going to gay clubs ever again [...] 😔
Me: 😮
Also him, about ten seconds later: [...] I still spend most of my money on gay clubs. 😅
Also me: I figured out that me being ace, polyamorous and trans is not the biggest turn off to my relationship options, while not fitting in perfectly anywhere, specially when talking about gender seems to be the reason why I have spent the first two decades of my life without any committed intimate relationship.
☕️👌
@xeganxerxes4319
Good for you, no one asked, personal taste is not for debate.
@@ws6778HomoSEXuals are by definition same SEX attracted. The video is made by a female who dates males. That by definition is heteroSEXual. The T should not try to redefine the LGB.
@@mjones8170
Dude, if there are gay men who want to date females who looks like males, this is none of your business, is very hypocritical to try to police the relationships of others when you yourself have your own relationships policed by conservatives, just live and let live.
@@ws6778 firetruck off. Homosexuality is same sex attracted. People don't get to appropriate groups they don't belong to. Heterosexual people do not have the right to call themselves homosexual. LGB without the TQ is going to need to happen.
@@ws6778Why be rude? Did anyone ask for this novel long explanation of yourself either? Smh.
Hey Arthur. I'm a cis pansexual guy and my boyfriend is ftm gay guy also. Congrats for your channel. I hope you doing fine, I met my boyfriend in the first from Grindr.
You’re in a heterosexual relationship.
I'm so glad I found this, I'm trans but I'm not old enough yet, so I wanted to know and see how this are going to be and you did exactly that thank youu
Thats really comforting to hear, im a really anxious person and idk I sorta assumed that not even 50% but most people just dont like trans people and so that I would get rejection like that from most people. Maybe I dont have such assumptions 😅
hey Arthur! I recently discovered your channel and just had to pop in and say that it's a great representation. I'm in the similar stage of life as you, as a gay trans man. I'm struggling to open up to cis people, especially gay dudes. It might be because I'm awkward and find it hard to just walk up to and start a conversation with strangers, but after watching your videos I think I might start pushing myself to do just that! :) When it comes to being shirtless, I'm over a year post-op but I have hypertrophic scars so unfortunately it's not as easy for me, I certainly don't feel attractive physically because of that. But nevertheless great work!!!
Aww yes! Putting yourself out there can be scary but so worth it in the end. Wishing you luck ❤️
There is an episode of the podcast Risk! True Tales Boldly Told called "The Other" all about a trans man who went to Fire Island!
Oooh very cool! Thanks for flagging it!!
Thanks for sharing 💜
*Martha
It's because you are very physically attractive. Your above average looks make it very hard to reject yoy because there are very few people like us LOL (considered "handsome") sorry that this will surely sound VERY HAUGHTY/arrogant but i am just thinking out loud and being brutally honest right now- but just don't gain too much weight bcuz based on my experience, if you get chubby (like i am now again bcuz of stress but i am determined to be fit again asap) you will prolly get rejected more often ( although there are some guys who are chub chasers, it seems the MAJORITY dont like chubs and are into fit men)
wow you're very handsome men I wish you can be my boyfriend
This seems to suit the affirming part of why I want to split gay three ways; a branch of gay specifically welcoming of trans men (on all fronts, including sexual) would seem to be a boon all around.
I do wish people would stop using the word preference the way that is now in vogue. When I was active, my preference was to avoid a*** or o***, though I would do one or the other from time to time. I did have requirements, both positive and negative.
I always waited to be approached and never approached anyone, except for occasionally making the initial contact in a correspondence club. I can appreciate your points about confidence, but my self-confidence has always been entirely in other areas. I did eventually develop confidence in what I could do, but never had any confidence about my appearance.
We gay men didn’t decide to be this way. Stop your homophobia.