I know people not going to agree with me, But that baby have a better chance with the strangers then with op's sister and bil sorry not sorry, They treated op poorly and was cursing op (who is a teen), those are the type of people who shouldn't have a infant in their care after what they did, Yes it is horrible they suffer from fertility problems and miscarriages, however that treatment of op who was already forced to birth a child she didn't want at the age of 17, was never acceptable they straight up treat op like a dayum incubator not give a single sht about her at all, And again op will be forced to see this child if she liked or not if she gave the child to them, seriously i find it crazy that a good portion the people in the comment section thinks calling op names and treating a a teenager like a incubator by people who needs clearly needs therapy more then anything else as normal is disturbing, Because honestly op should also leave these people behind after all this when she gets the chance, because this is not normal behavior in any situation even with infertility problems, because if they go this far of treating op like this what would they have done if the kid when a bit older does some the sister and bil doesn't like, I don't care what people say, op did right by that child by not giving the baby to anyone in this family.
Story 1: the fact that OP’s sister and family just assumed that OP was going to hand her baby over to her sister without even discussing it is suspicious. I honestly don’t blame OP for putting the baby up for adoption. I think the outcome would have been different if they sat down and discussed with OP about the sister and BIL possibly raising OP’s baby instead of just assuming she would hand it over to them. Story 2: at least OP is owning up to his mistake. I think with years of therapy, it will be water under the bridge. Story 3: holy crap! This reminds me of a story I was told years ago. My youngest aunt had a friend who came from a Middle Eastern or Asian background and as soon as they graduated from high school (this was the early 90’s) the friends parents were going to marry her off to one of their friends who was about the age of her dad. The friend came over to spend the night with my aunt and the next day was on the bus. The girls parents and the cops came by and asked where she was, my grandparents said they haven’t seen her since that morning and when the cops were told she was 18, they said “she’s 18 and out of high school. She’s a legal adult”. But glad to know that OP is safe.
Op is doing the right thing, her sister treated her as an incubator, she didn't even ask, she just assumed it was obvious that the baby was going to her.I understand that she wants a child that's related to her, but her reluctance to adopt leaves something to think about.In the end, it's up to the OP to decide.
Well she isnt anything but an inkubator for the baby her stance was well known in the family and her main reason was she doesnt want the kid around at all ... fuck her, she could give her sister the baby and go nc which is the same result she got
That third story is heartbreaking. How much you cover should be between you and Allah/God. I hope it doesn't destroy her entire relationship with God, but it wouldn't surprise me. We have crazies over here in Christianity too.
She lives in Canada Canada has laws similar to the United States as far as assault she could have called the police and parents would be in prison before they finished evening prayer.
I can see with the first story that the sister and BIL would just use the baby being in the family to manipulate OP and I bet if they ever got fed up with the kid they’d just dump them on OP, she would need to move far away to stop that from happening easily but that would be totally unfair on OP.
Reminds me of another story where a woman found out that her second older sister was her mother who stupidly got pregnant because she thought her older sister was. The last she said was that everyone who knew the truth, don't bother contacting her.
Last story: Speaking as a muslim, what her parents did is also haram if they cut her hair past shoulder length (I'm just assuming as OP didn't state how short they cut it). According to the religion, you're not supposed to cut your hair short as it needs to be long enough to cover your chest. Aside from being insane, her parents are also hypocrites.
@@YourGirl2628 That's just what multiple Imams keep emphasizing in my community. The one thing confusing me is that most state that a woman's hair isn't to be cut in a way that would make her appear masculine (emphasis on keeping it below the shoulder) while 2 state something more specific about women needing their hair to be long enough to cover their chest on the day of judgement.
@@JewelWildmoon I'm not asking for Imams but only for the hadith or ayat or sunnah that states this. Now as goes for the 'masculine Concept' I agree with you that we are not allowed to resemble a man. But there are many feminine short hair styles .I have never seen a man's hair reaching his shoulder. You claimed that it's 'Haram' while you should have written it's 'Preferable' to have long hair. You can't simply label anything as 'Haram' if God himself hasn't done it. It's simply Bidah. If a girl wants short hair, she is allowed to. As for her chest, she can cover it with a scarf or shawl.
@@YourGirl2628 I'm not finding one specifically about the long hair on the day of judgement, so that may be a mistranslation or a misdirection by the 2 Imams and I apologize if that is indeed misinformation. Is there anything saying if there's a limit for how short a woman can cut her hair, or are all lengths acceptable as long as it doesn't make them resemble a man?
@@JewelWildmoon It depends on time and the part of the world you live in. Forexample, if we take Medieval China, it was common for both man and woman to have long hair but they were differentiated on the basis of hair style. Men wore a ponytail while woman styled their hair to a bun. Now, in modern times, if we take the same part of the world (china) Men kept their hair short and it doesn't touch shoulder but woman's hair touch their shoulders and they are even longer. Even if female's hair is short, there are many feminine short hairstyles which they can wear. There is a clear line between Masculinity and feminity even now which we can follow.
I am the product of an open adoption. I never wanted my bio mom to parent me. She had her own life. I had my parents. I was adopted by my grandparents, because, yes. The baby should stay in the family. A closed adoption would fit this woman best.
I love how the family in story 1 try to tell op "think about how you're making your sister feel". Bish why can't you think about how op feels? She's pregnant and alone and probably terrified and here you come to make demands at her? The entitlement of some people
Just because the sister can’t conceive does not mean she is ENTITLED to OP’s baby. The baby girl is OP’s and hers alone she gets to decide whether she wants the baby around her or not. Having her sister raise her child she was not ready for in close proximity will never be a good idea , it could go bad in many ways. The sister could literally force the child onto OP when she needs a babysitter or OP would start to bond with her than regret giving her up and when she gets to close and her sister feels her role as the baby’s “mother” is being threatened she’d snatch the baby up and move her far away from OP causing damage. Or OP could grow resentful and be hostile towards the baby and she’d grow up wondering why her “aunt” acts the way she does towards her , there was actually a Reddit post like that once and the sister ended up moving far away from and wouldn’t let the sister who had the baby near him/her.
Story one: NTA. Im an adoptee and a birth mother. The sister seems unhinged at best, and would do whatever possible to get digs in at OP somehow for giving a baby up for adoption. Anyone calling her self serving for making that extremely tough choice can sit on a bleach soaked cactus. If you havent lived it, you cannot judge.
Story 3 As a muslim i must sadly adimit many muslim parents dose that BUT the thing shcoking is not ABOUT RELIGIONS its about CONTROLLING YOU like youre mother 48 STARTED WEARING Hijabi and i bet youre dad was like her Many religious parents use religions as exusce for abuse Or mabye obsessed with the idea od religious daughters son
@@yarahissen9444 me too i'm also a muslim in iraq but whoever many muslims parents still live in 90s where religion wasn't explained well in many countries due to wars politics cults and etc..
If anyone is in a situation where they are afraid and living in a place where people are hurting them, buy door stoppers. More than one. Put them under you door at night so the door cannot be pushed open from the other side.
Story 1: I'm not OP but personally I would've given the child up to the sister and BIL. I wanna be a dad myself one day but say I didn't, they want a child, I don't, perfect opportunity. I get why OP doesn't wanna be a mom but just putting it out there
It is a religion of peace BUT it's pepole aren't Don't balme religion on religous no blame the pepole action I am a SHIA muslim myself who also grea in a very islamci household but my parents never abUs3d me insatde they never forced me to wear hijab but after I started middel school I began wearing it without anyone forcing me Even Islamic scoured ali alsistani said to me (over his online maktab note i'm a shia) said they can't force hijab but advice And I seen many muslim being forced to hijab which isn't right Same for Christianty my Christian freind said her parents are toxic and use religion for thire toxicity (which is lie)
Story 1: I think OP doesnt like her sister at all, maybe she was like that because of the pregnancy, but knowing that her sister was suffering and will suffer after the birrh of the baby she still didnt care at all. Story 2: Took you Long enough OP, time to make things right with your first son. Story 3: Absolutely disgusting "family" I live in South America and just seen like 4 muslims my entire life. Thankfully they choose first world countries to go, I mean they are not stupid, thats for sure. And Im saying thankfully because the radicals on that religión are just crazy ppl that will not care if you are his daughter, his son, etc. They will end you.
The first story is a weird one. The entitlement of the sister is wrong, but I still think that op should have given the baby to her sister who wanted a child so badly. My verdict is a 30/70 ESH with 30 to op and 70 to the sister.
Having sex when u or ur partner were underaged is the most stupid thing to do ...At such a age where u didn't know much about it would ultimately results such pregrancies' and then they mourning aftermath feels like a joke to me ...They themselves made their lives and innocent kids life as well questionable and would put up an act as if they'll innocent...I wish that the government would possibly pass a restriction of minor people having sex even though they are in a relationship until they turn 18 ...😏🙄🤦🏻♀️
The story about the girl giving up her baby for adoption is one of the most self serving stories I've ever heard. She is absolutely the jerk in honestly one of the most awful ways possible
what crack you smoking that shit must be good? because there's no way you're saying she is a jerk for giving HER baby to give it a better life. how is she the jerk? why? your stupid?
@@uknownclient6105 It sounds like either way she won’t be in contact with sister, either cut out from their lives or the baby will be with sister. Honestly, sounds like Op is going to have to walk away from the family anyway cause of the situation so the kid might as well be left with bio family unless Op finds an actual family to adopt. Otherwise, even the law will just contact the bio family before putting a baby in foster care if an adopted family isn’t ready
@@Catherine.Dorian.Still she not selfish for not wanting the baby in the family. the family got a problem with it? tuff titties not your baby not yours to decide what happens. op isn't in the wrong.
Story 1 - So OP's sister isn't a good person? I do find OP a little selfish, she doesn't want anything to do with her baby, not even let her childless sister raise the baby or let her mother have contact with her mother's grand child. Was the baby the result of SA so that OP never wanted to see the baby again or was it just that Op would be embarrassed by having her baby being raised by her sister. If the former it's understandable but if it's the latter it does seem pretty selfish.
Story 1: OP sister and BIL were really push, but she is TA, giving a child to strangers instead of you own family is ensuring that the kid is going to have a high chance of getting parents that don't care about him. And he reason is ridiculous, like her reason makes her so much a selfish TA that OP sister and BIL sound reasonable.
@@HeoBaby24 dude, her sister could finally have a child biologically attached to her and she's just like "erm, i don't want to ever see this child so fuck you." She could literally make her sister's entire life, and yet her selfish desire to have 0 relationship of any kind with the child (even as an aunt) is stopping her from helping her sister.
@@constantdemonicswhy is thr sister owed a baby? why should op have to suffer the fact that she doesn't want this in her life? regardless the sister isn't owed anything. she not selfish for putting thr baby up for adoption. by your logic the sister is also selfish for deciding not to adopt to begin with
"I want to make sure OUR BABY is healthy."
Total entitlement there.
I know people not going to agree with me,
But that baby have a better chance with the strangers then with op's sister and bil sorry not sorry,
They treated op poorly and was cursing op (who is a teen), those are the type of people who shouldn't have a infant in their care after what they did,
Yes it is horrible they suffer from fertility problems and miscarriages, however that treatment of op who was already forced to birth a child she didn't want at the age of 17, was never acceptable they straight up treat op like a dayum incubator not give a single sht about her at all,
And again op will be forced to see this child if she liked or not if she gave the child to them,
seriously i find it crazy that a good portion the people in the comment section thinks calling op names and treating a a teenager like a incubator by people who needs clearly needs therapy more then anything else as normal is disturbing,
Because honestly op should also leave these people behind after all this when she gets the chance, because this is not normal behavior in any situation even with infertility problems,
because if they go this far of treating op like this what would they have done if the kid when a bit older does some the sister and bil doesn't like,
I don't care what people say, op did right by that child by not giving the baby to anyone in this family.
Story 1: the fact that OP’s sister and family just assumed that OP was going to hand her baby over to her sister without even discussing it is suspicious. I honestly don’t blame OP for putting the baby up for adoption. I think the outcome would have been different if they sat down and discussed with OP about the sister and BIL possibly raising OP’s baby instead of just assuming she would hand it over to them.
Story 2: at least OP is owning up to his mistake. I think with years of therapy, it will be water under the bridge.
Story 3: holy crap! This reminds me of a story I was told years ago. My youngest aunt had a friend who came from a Middle Eastern or Asian background and as soon as they graduated from high school (this was the early 90’s) the friends parents were going to marry her off to one of their friends who was about the age of her dad. The friend came over to spend the night with my aunt and the next day was on the bus. The girls parents and the cops came by and asked where she was, my grandparents said they haven’t seen her since that morning and when the cops were told she was 18, they said “she’s 18 and out of high school. She’s a legal adult”. But glad to know that OP is safe.
Op is doing the right thing, her sister treated her as an incubator, she didn't even ask, she just assumed it was obvious that the baby was going to her.I understand that she wants a child that's related to her, but her reluctance to adopt leaves something to think about.In the end, it's up to the OP to decide.
Well she isnt anything but an inkubator for the baby her stance was well known in the family and her main reason was she doesnt want the kid around at all ... fuck her, she could give her sister the baby and go nc which is the same result she got
That third story is heartbreaking.
How much you cover should be between you and Allah/God.
I hope it doesn't destroy her entire relationship with God, but it wouldn't surprise me. We have crazies over here in Christianity too.
She lives in Canada Canada has laws similar to the United States as far as assault she could have called the police and parents would be in prison before they finished evening prayer.
I can see with the first story that the sister and BIL would just use the baby being in the family to manipulate OP and I bet if they ever got fed up with the kid they’d just dump them on OP, she would need to move far away to stop that from happening easily but that would be totally unfair on OP.
Reminds me of another story where a woman found out that her second older sister was her mother who stupidly got pregnant because she thought her older sister was. The last she said was that everyone who knew the truth, don't bother contacting her.
Yeah, that's a hard pill to swallow
Yep,I know that story also. That was quite the ride.
link?
Last story:
Speaking as a muslim, what her parents did is also haram if they cut her hair past shoulder length (I'm just assuming as OP didn't state how short they cut it). According to the religion, you're not supposed to cut your hair short as it needs to be long enough to cover your chest. Aside from being insane, her parents are also hypocrites.
There is no rule like this. If so, pleas provide reference
@@YourGirl2628 That's just what multiple Imams keep emphasizing in my community. The one thing confusing me is that most state that a woman's hair isn't to be cut in a way that would make her appear masculine (emphasis on keeping it below the shoulder) while 2 state something more specific about women needing their hair to be long enough to cover their chest on the day of judgement.
@@JewelWildmoon I'm not asking for Imams but only for the hadith or ayat or sunnah that states this. Now as goes for the 'masculine Concept' I agree with you that we are not allowed to resemble a man. But there are many feminine short hair styles .I have never seen a man's hair reaching his shoulder. You claimed that it's 'Haram' while you should have written it's 'Preferable' to have long hair. You can't simply label anything as 'Haram' if God himself hasn't done it. It's simply Bidah. If a girl wants short hair, she is allowed to. As for her chest, she can cover it with a scarf or shawl.
@@YourGirl2628 I'm not finding one specifically about the long hair on the day of judgement, so that may be a mistranslation or a misdirection by the 2 Imams and I apologize if that is indeed misinformation. Is there anything saying if there's a limit for how short a woman can cut her hair, or are all lengths acceptable as long as it doesn't make them resemble a man?
@@JewelWildmoon It depends on time and the part of the world you live in. Forexample, if we take Medieval China, it was common for both man and woman to have long hair but they were differentiated on the basis of hair style. Men wore a ponytail while woman styled their hair to a bun. Now, in modern times, if we take the same part of the world (china) Men kept their hair short and it doesn't touch shoulder but woman's hair touch their shoulders and they are even longer. Even if female's hair is short, there are many feminine short hairstyles which they can wear. There is a clear line between Masculinity and feminity even now which we can follow.
I love seeing the progress of this Minecraft house
I am the product of an open adoption.
I never wanted my bio mom to parent me.
She had her own life.
I had my parents.
I was adopted by my grandparents, because, yes. The baby should stay in the family.
A closed adoption would fit this woman best.
Story 3: Psychopaths! They're worse than my stepdad
I love how the family in story 1 try to tell op "think about how you're making your sister feel". Bish why can't you think about how op feels? She's pregnant and alone and probably terrified and here you come to make demands at her? The entitlement of some people
Just because the sister can’t conceive does not mean she is ENTITLED to OP’s baby. The baby girl is OP’s and hers alone she gets to decide whether she wants the baby around her or not. Having her sister raise her child she was not ready for in close proximity will never be a good idea , it could go bad in many ways. The sister could literally force the child onto OP when she needs a babysitter or OP would start to bond with her than regret giving her up and when she gets to close and her sister feels her role as the baby’s “mother” is being threatened she’d snatch the baby up and move her far away from OP causing damage. Or OP could grow resentful and be hostile towards the baby and she’d grow up wondering why her “aunt” acts the way she does towards her , there was actually a Reddit post like that once and the sister ended up moving far away from and wouldn’t let the sister who had the baby near him/her.
💯💯💯
Story one: NTA. Im an adoptee and a birth mother. The sister seems unhinged at best, and would do whatever possible to get digs in at OP somehow for giving a baby up for adoption. Anyone calling her self serving for making that extremely tough choice can sit on a bleach soaked cactus. If you havent lived it, you cannot judge.
Story 3
As a muslim i must sadly adimit many muslim parents dose that BUT the thing shcoking is not ABOUT RELIGIONS its about CONTROLLING YOU like youre mother 48 STARTED WEARING Hijabi and i bet youre dad was like her
Many religious parents use religions as exusce for abuse
Or mabye obsessed with the idea od religious daughters son
as a muslim how live in a major muslim country casaes like op parents are so rare this was only a thing in the 90s
@@yarahissen9444 me too i'm also a muslim in iraq but whoever many muslims parents still live in 90s where religion wasn't explained well in many countries due to wars politics cults and etc..
@@LolAlosh I understand that situation in iraq is much more complicated cuz of the sunna, shiaa thing ,cults and wars too
@@yarahissen9444 extacly wars in Iraq made everything so complicated and hateful
If anyone is in a situation where they are afraid and living in a place where people are hurting them, buy door stoppers. More than one. Put them under you door at night so the door cannot be pushed open from the other side.
That's really smart
Story 1: I'm not OP but personally I would've given the child up to the sister and BIL. I wanna be a dad myself one day but say I didn't, they want a child, I don't, perfect opportunity. I get why OP doesn't wanna be a mom but just putting it out there
As a proud Coloradan we refuse to accept the OP in the second story
Time to get out of the cult. 😊
Islam is a cult btw.
Story 3: “B-But Islam is a religion of PeACe!”
It is a religion of peace BUT it's pepole aren't
Don't balme religion on religous no blame the pepole action
I am a SHIA muslim myself who also grea in a very islamci household but my parents never abUs3d me insatde they never forced me to wear hijab but after I started middel school I began wearing it without anyone forcing me
Even Islamic scoured ali alsistani said to me (over his online maktab note i'm a shia) said they can't force hijab but advice
And I seen many muslim being forced to hijab which isn't right
Same for Christianty my Christian freind said her parents are toxic and use religion for thire toxicity (which is lie)
yes it is the religion of peace and extremists exist every where in every group just grow up and look around you
@@yarahissen9444 just like how ur prophet excused domestic violence against women , and had sex with a 9 year old
@@LolAlosh yeah, realigion of peace my a**.
The current conflict says otherwise
Story 1: I think OP doesnt like her sister at all, maybe she was like that because of the pregnancy, but knowing that her sister was suffering and will suffer after the birrh of the baby she still didnt care at all.
Story 2: Took you Long enough OP, time to make things right with your first son.
Story 3: Absolutely disgusting "family" I live in South America and just seen like 4 muslims my entire life. Thankfully they choose first world countries to go, I mean they are not stupid, thats for sure. And Im saying thankfully because the radicals on that religión are just crazy ppl that will not care if you are his daughter, his son, etc. They will end you.
The first story is a weird one. The entitlement of the sister is wrong, but I still think that op should have given the baby to her sister who wanted a child so badly. My verdict is a 30/70 ESH with 30 to op and 70 to the sister.
Having sex when u or ur partner were underaged is the most stupid thing to do ...At such a age where u didn't know much about it would ultimately results such pregrancies' and then they mourning aftermath feels like a joke to me ...They themselves made their lives and innocent kids life as well questionable and would put up an act as if they'll innocent...I wish that the government would possibly pass a restriction of minor people having sex even though they are in a relationship until they turn 18 ...😏🙄🤦🏻♀️
If you’re not ready to become a parent, then don’t do the dirty deed that creates a child.
People are allowed to have intimacy without wanting to have children.
Accidents happen even with precautions.
missing the point entirely@@lindah3803
it is really stupid how they meet a couple for few times and decide that they are good people and trust them with their kids
The story about the girl giving up her baby for adoption is one of the most self serving stories I've ever heard. She is absolutely the jerk in honestly one of the most awful ways possible
what crack you smoking that shit must be good?
because there's no way you're saying she is a jerk for giving HER baby to give it a better life.
how is she the jerk? why?
your stupid?
Yeah why wouldn’t she want her baby to be raised by family?
@@Catherine.Dorian.Shes afraid her sister will tell the child the truth when its old enought
@@uknownclient6105 It sounds like either way she won’t be in contact with sister, either cut out from their lives or the baby will be with sister. Honestly, sounds like Op is going to have to walk away from the family anyway cause of the situation so the kid might as well be left with bio family unless Op finds an actual family to adopt. Otherwise, even the law will just contact the bio family before putting a baby in foster care if an adopted family isn’t ready
@@Catherine.Dorian.Still she not selfish for not wanting the baby in the family.
the family got a problem with it? tuff titties not your baby not yours to decide what happens.
op isn't in the wrong.
Story 1 - So OP's sister isn't a good person? I do find OP a little selfish, she doesn't want anything to do with her baby, not even let her childless sister raise the baby or let her mother have contact with her mother's grand child. Was the baby the result of SA so that OP never wanted to see the baby again or was it just that Op would be embarrassed by having her baby being raised by her sister. If the former it's understandable but if it's the latter it does seem pretty selfish.
Doesn’t matter , the sister’s fertility issues is not OP’s cross to bear
But now Op will have neither a sister , mother or a baby, sounds kind of lonely to me.@@STAYATINYARMYSIN
Story 1: OP sister and BIL were really push, but she is TA, giving a child to strangers instead of you own family is ensuring that the kid is going to have a high chance of getting parents that don't care about him. And he reason is ridiculous, like her reason makes her so much a selfish TA that OP sister and BIL sound reasonable.
And the reason is*
Her sister isn’t owed her child. If she doesn’t like or trust the lady, she’s allowed to hand over the child to an adoption center/agency.
@@BaldCoryxKenshinfan That child is owed the best life she can possible get and that is with her sister.
@@redguy2312 Even that isn't a promise. The sister can be just as bad or worse.
The fact that sister and BIL just *assumed* the OP would give them her child - without any prior discussion - isn't reasonable in the slightest
YTA
HOW?!
@@HeoBaby24 dude, her sister could finally have a child biologically attached to her and she's just like "erm, i don't want to ever see this child so fuck you." She could literally make her sister's entire life, and yet her selfish desire to have 0 relationship of any kind with the child (even as an aunt) is stopping her from helping her sister.
@@constantdemonicsHer sister isn’t owed anything
NTA
@@constantdemonicswhy is thr sister owed a baby? why should op have to suffer the fact that she doesn't want this in her life?
regardless the sister isn't owed anything. she not selfish for putting thr baby up for adoption.
by your logic the sister is also selfish for deciding not to adopt to begin with