RHETORIC 2019 | Jasmine Sims - "Ashes & Monuments"
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- This very moving piece is an open letter from poet Jasmine Sims, to her late father. Listen as she gracefully, emotionally, and masterfully recounts her last days with dad, her honest thoughts with God, and declares worship in the midst of the heaviness in her heart. This is her piece, "Ashes & Monuments".
Follow her on social media - @thejasminesims
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listening to thing feels like having pieces of my soul peeled away...my oh my!!!
heart and soul. this is REAL. a beautiful eulogy.
thank you,
God bless you, Jasmine. I can tell every poem you write comes right from the heart.
"We are the Servants of God and Whatever He allows we Accept" Your poems are always 🔥🔥🔥
Speechless...wow. Powerful
This poem is so impactful for me. You help put into words emotions that I can't otherwise express. My dad have a disease that will eventually take him, so this poem hits on a whole other level. Thank you so much.
I'm thinking the same... my poem has yet to be written 😐
This hits me because this is almost my personal experience. I watched my Dad slide into the great beyond and the memory still linger.
This is a beautiful poem and it made me cry 😢 reminds me of my poem Father Figure.
Lyrics:
Her words, her words held my family as if we were already shattered pieces.
Her mouth, her mouth was the resting place of a feather blade and it shattered what was left of us; the nurse told us that, sometimes, a person requires permission before they can, allow themselves to lean into the cold arms of forever waiting for them.
She told us its common, for them to reserve their last breathe until their loved ones have left the room.
She encouraged us to tell you that it was okay for you to leave.
So now, my morning routine, once consisting of coffee and music now includes me telling you that its okay for you to abandon us here.
I know that my lips were cinderblocks on your fragile brow, i'm sorry if that was too much weight for you.
I told you that it was okay for you to go. I told you that I love you, because I don't think that real love should come in past tense. I told you that you did well.
I don't know if my words were even the truth, cause I remember,
them depositing your body in a black bag, with a thundering zipper, as if the whole house couldn't hear them sealing you away.
They placed you on a ghosted gurney that still haunts me.
They rolled my protector over the threshold of our home, as if he, were some decaying abandoned building that needed to be removed,
Didn't they know?
That there were still prayers waiting for you to see the manifestation of them.
You prayed,
that i would have a solid relationship with God.
Daddy lets be honest.
For years you were the bridge my faith could walk on to get closer to our king. But now its just me and him and it gets real awkward,
sometimes.
But you didn't raise me to have a backup plan so me and God are just gunna have to figure it out.
You prayed, that I would have a career doing what I love,
do the angels tell you, that your baby girls poetry puts a little bit of money in her pocket? Its not much but its progress.
you prayed, that I would marry a man who loved God.
That i would marry a man who knew how to get a prayer through.
And Daddy, I want to tell you i'm sorry for all these men who I allow treat you like your time was unlimited.
I wish there was a return policy on wasted minutes because I would much rather have spent them
with you.
And we all know your hands are the only ones worthy enough to give me
away
and Daddy, I just don't think they make 'em like you, anymore.
When I packed up Chicago, and moved back home to take care of you, I said "Dad, I got enough money for rent, or a new puppy," you said "go ahead and get your dog i'll give you the money for rent"
who gunna spoil me like that now Daddy?
Cause death,
death unfolded his arms on a Monday.
I don't know how long he stood in the corner of your room waiting for you.
I don't know how long my mother's prayers and petitions, kept him, at bay.
But i've never seen a man see-saw between two realms,
its devastatingly beautiful.
For weeks, I watched your eyes peer past the present, your body barely functioning, holding onto a soul that was immortal.
And eternity was calling for you.
I watched your church, crush beneath the falling weight or a falling idol,
they made an idol of you Daddy.
I know you told them not to, but isn't that just like the congregation? Doing the very thing you tell them not to do?
I watched you preach Christ, until your body no longer had a voice to give you.
Last conversation we had was you asking me
"If Jesus was return , would I be ready?"
And I told you "yes."
And I watched peace fill your eyes.
Your funeral was beautiful.
The flowers, were mocking. The way they resembled life but there was nothing there but death, and a haunting sense.
I smelled regret in the air,
and I felt fear,
and maybe it was my own
cause for two years, strength has had her arms around me and I finally feel that lifting grief, is an unbearable weight to bear
you were a far lighter load to carry.
I can still the weight of you against my body,
hoping that you couldn't hear the trembling in my hands, begging God for more time.
Still shocked that I, could lift you out of the bed cause you couldn't do it on your own.
And I couldn't help but remember all of the times that you lifted me out of my own bed because I couldn't do it on my own,
I was glad to return the favor.
Your wife, she delivered a flawless eulogy.
But you're not surprised.
You knew you married both the hurricane and the bunker my mother is amazing.
The girl at Akira helped me pick out the dress I wore to bury you.
I think you would have liked it Daddy.
It was modest; I even covered my knees.
I don't think you have sent me back to my room to change, nor giving me the side eye me and my sister often received for our weird fashion choices.
I think you would have called it sharp.
It was black.
You were always so proud that God chose to make you black.
Don't you remember Daddy?
When the puppets came for the children's church
and you couldn't understand how to teach a brown savior to black and brown kids with pale puppets so you colored them in with markers and they looked horrible.
But isn't that just the heart of the pastor? Doing all that he can so the message is received?
But I can't get the last breath out of my head
Your chest was hollow,
like a speaker,
giving off a sinister rattling,
a warning,
that this would be the end and I am afraid.
That you will fade too far into the past tense and I won't be able to depict you properly to your grandchildren.
I normally give God a polite praise.
I know all of the right words to say but when Sunday came, I gave God a frightening trembling worship because people have turned their back on him for less.
Daddy, I will do my best to honor your legacy.
Cause even when I get my oil changed the man still ask about you
he says "your father was so kind"
I don't know if you know how big your legacy is.
do the angels tell you,
that your son is a father now?
I think he'll be just like you.
Do they tell you that your children, keep an eye on Mama's smile, making sure that it's genuine?
Cause I watched my mother bury the love of her life of thirty plus years and I've never seen her faith waver.
When we asked her "why would God allow something like this to happen to a man so devout and so loving?" She didn't even blink.
She said
"I don't know baby. But we are the servants of God and whatever he allows we accept."
She said that "heaven had need of you."
She taught me, how to accept awkward comfort from a bunch of saints who never learned how to grieve and how to do it with grace.
Cause grief, always comes at the worst time.
And i'm obligated to give it all of my attention
so i'll sit in these ashes, until the Lord will make something beautiful of my mess.
Cause no good thing would he withhold from me, including this grief.
But I hope that he will forgive me, cause
your baby girl still had need
of you.
Love this! Congratulations on being an addition to the PIA Family. Excited to see what God does through you.
🔥😭🕊❤️🙏🏽.... beautiful...
...i miss my daddy too...
🌊
Same here... I was there with my Dad when he crossed over to Eternity! Love is life!!! 💞
Creativity at its best
Oh wow! This is just wow!!!!!
She is just graced!
Beautifully done!! Loved this tribute... such strength as I’m a daddy’s girl and this would have been hard to do! #Daddy’sMatter most importantly when they’re loving and one of top supporters. Grateful to have mine still with me. 💯❤️🔥
I'm speechless!!! She made me live her words!
Heart & soul felt...
I can't stop crying...😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
Lovely, great piece
Wow sis!!! Powerful! In tears!!
Pain is too real, lost my Mother so I know 🙏🏿
Raw emotions and words beautifully put❤. Thank you!!
Wow
Cried so many times. So deep. I can relate
Wow that made me shade a tear😣
Couldn’t not weep at this...
I remember my Daddy ❤🙏
beautiful
Jasmine...
You speak my heart.
This This This!!!🙌🏾😭
Wow! Touching
Beautiful
Beautiful 😪
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Jesus .... #touched
This was sp beautiful
This is dope..🔥🔥🔥🔥
wow😭
Fire🔥
Wow...
😢
❤❤❤
❤️
🔥🔥🔥❤️
😭
Sigh