Our Experience Dating in the Gay Community (the Good, the Bad and the Ugly)
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- Since you guys enjoyed my last gay dating video where I gave you tips, heres the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to dating in the gay community.
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@josephgarner94
@ryman7618 
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Dating in the gay community is definitely confusing and at times hard. Sometimes you’ll meet someone that’s all cool and they just want sex. Other times you’ll meet someone that just wants sex and it turns into an actual relationship. Also, figuring if someone is gay, bi, etc., at a club, bar, out in the community. 🤷🏻♂️
Then there’s the stereotypes and etc. it’s a lot to take in at time and confusing. 😭
My husband came from small town Indiana, where everyone was Missouri Synod Lutheran and they just think that they are the only Christian to be and everyone else is wrong or in a cult. They all don’t agree with our “Lifestyle choice”, hate the sin, love the sinner. There’s a reason why so many kids kill themselves instead of coming out. My husband’s brother said that he would disown his son if he was gay. I am very proud of all of you that have overcome a religious upbringing! Thank you all so much for being such great examples for all of us!
My college roommates mother and her congregation went a step further in terms that they thought that all the other congregations in their religion were wrong and so they would only speak with other people who were only in their own congregation. Her husband was one of the biggest donors to that congregation as he had a good paying upper management job with a large utility. Years later his corporation discovered that his office had been cooking the books for many years and that he was stealing hundred of thousands of dollars from his employer every year to donate to the church. They took away his entire pension and demoted him to a line employee as they just wanted to whole thing to disappear and then my roommates parents divorced and were kicked out of the church, not just their congregation. I am telling you, there can be some pretty wacked out people in the religious world. Just saying
@@mjohnson9563 Religion is the root of all evil Run!
Fun to hear the "Gay youth of Zion"! I think an open relationship, is a holdover from my generation (came out in the 1970s), when it seemed is all about hookups rather than dating. Long-term relationships did not seem like a goal. Fast forward 30 years my and I husband had 3 dates before we even kissed, then well.....It is 18 years this weekend when we first kissed and we have never been apart since. Married in July 2015, in Salt Lake City, we live in Florida. Our local Grocery store employees always say HI Guys and treat us like a couple. Also, all the relationship advice (not roles) from seminary and church helps to strengthen my Gay Marriage. Who would have thought. Just another Gay Mormon Boy.
I never left my church. The LDS members, at least in my church, treated me with warmth, respect. And the gay community that I tried to make friends with were much harder to deal with. They were mean, shallow and toxic. The gay friendship tend not to last long.
This was such a great list! Really relate to all of these pros and cons. Also, what a squad! Y’all seem like great friends
I love your videos. Especially this one. I’m not out and I’m from the same religion and it’s been an uphill battle. It’s nice to see you guys and seeing how I’m not alone. Thanks guys for sharing. Means a lot to me.
Great video! One question; a married gay RUclipsr mentioned that his gay friends and acquaintances didn't take his marriage as seriously as people would a heterosexual couple. Like they'd hit on him, and when he'd remind them he was married, respond with an indignant version of, "So what?" That just seems incredible to me. When affairs happen with heterosexual couples, everyone involved knows how serious it is, and there's a societal pressure to not be that person. Which, according to him, doesn't exist in his social circle. Wondering what your perspective was on the respect of others towards those kind of committed, long-term relationships.
There is an assumption that gay marriages are open. Which is shameful.
I’ve seen this kind of mentality in the gay community as well. I know open relationships work for some people but it kinda breaks my heart that that is the expectation.
I once had a guy tell me that he liked me but didn't want to date anybody that didn't drive a high end car. My then 2-year-old Ford Taurus just didn't make the cut. He got really angry when I suggested that whole concept might be a little bit shallow and odd. After that splendid coffee date (which I prolonged just long enough to find out how weird this guy was), I began to think that he should just buy a Lexus and date it. The idea gives a whole new new meaning to autoeroticism.
Trust me, you will meet a lot of simps on your way to finding the prince.
me, in my nissan - "yeah gtg see ya never"
I was the one driving a high-end car (& I’ve learned to stop apologizing for it) when I met the guy I knew was “the one.” We met in a social dinner group. I knew he was it when I walked him to his car, a higher-end car…NAH, JK…he drove a clunker that made this “elephant” noise when he cranked it up. I thought it was so funny and he was so sincere & real…that was 28 years ago this November. Sometimes your prince drives a clunker, boys, that’s the moral of this story!
Funny thing about such people. They usually tend to be poor as their priority is spending money on glamour and on depreciating assets no less! Truth be told, I drive a fancy car, but I bought it fairly late in life after making my fortune. And I have always kept my cars for 10-15 years to get my use and enjoyment out of them. You are better off without someone poor whose values revolve around things.
We are celebrating 45 years together. We both were from solid families and siblings without one divorce in happy marriages too. This was 1976, but we made a monogamous commitment and vows and I migrated to the Episcopal Church because I must have a faith community that is shared and respected., and respectful of our marriage.
On our 27th anniversary we renewed vows and were legally married, and finally after a few surrogate miscarriages, our son was born that year. After a marriage that was recognized in a few states, DOMA was repealed and Obergefell gave us all legality.. our son is now a freshman at a major prestigious university on full scholarship with a guaranteed seat in their medical school. From cutting his umbilical cord to getting him set up in his dorm room in the midst of a pandemic.can also be your life journey.
My father gave me and my brothers solid advice...there are two sorts of men....players or nesters. There are also ways to self sabotage your full happiness and possibilities. If your message is a relationship and life “with hooks “ related to your religion and parental expectations, that will be your outcome. No judgment.,we served in SLC some thirty five years ago. I know LDS raised same sex husbands with families happily so, and I know others who live the happiness of others to their personal sacrifice......or a heterosexual lifestyle with a homosexual psychosexual orientation.that can only be sustained by hyperreligiosity., which has nothing to do with faith or observant devotion.
I was 32 and he was 25....and 45 years later , we are 77 and 70 years old and he’s 18 years. We had to wait until the law and culture changed over decades. Today, the gestational carrier carries a fertilized ovary that is not hers, avoiding the scams that we and others suffered. We finally became parents at 59 and 52. Today, Joseph, twenty somethings are getting married and having surrogate or adoptive children. So, make friends with nesters who want what you want...marriage and children...a family. There are LDS groups with that motivation. One day, we want you and your husband and children to await grandchildren and your golden anniversary. Ours is in less than five years.t
Seriously you and your husband should write a book.
I think an issue that you all brought up was body shaming. But I think that a big part is that men are more visual and therefore superficial.
I find Mormon guys to be so handsome, that I would find it difficult to have one at a time, so that’s my reason for wanting an open relationship. Sorry that I sound so stupid and shallow, but it’s nice to be in a relationship and have the excitement of someone new to play with.
There's always going to be highs and lows but it takes time
Joseph, this was the best video! You should do another of these...with these guys. Excellent!
I really appreciated this video. I'm working on getting to the point where you guys are now. It always nice to be able to get an insight into what the future holds (good and bad). So, thanks for that.
Your video are so good I like them as soon as they load
Loved this video !!! Thank you for sharing☺️
I have always loved your videos, Joseph!
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you very much Joseph!!! You've given me great advice too!!!
Glad you enjoyed it 😊
It is good you are all out. It is a process.
Me too, It’s definitely a process and usually takes years!
@@josephgarner94 you are great Joseph
The perspectives were very interesting... I found it informative. Great video idea.
"the pros and cons of dating in the gay community"
that's why i remained single
😂😂😂
You surely are joking, eh? On the Internet, it’s difficult to discern what country you live in, and what your circumstances are. We lived in Asia, and my dear friend provided us the means to have our son, who is Amerasian. He is in university now, on his way to becoming a physician. He has a shared American culture but culture but we speak tieng Viet and French, since I too am an immigrant. We have fed our family from a wok his whole life, and he is acculturated fully. He is heterosexual but a member of the LGBTQ community because his parents are same sex couple together 45 years....No typo 45 YEARS.we are neither the exception or the rule, but if you’re a nester and all your dates are with players, your outcome is assured. You don’t find nesters where players go to play.
I’m 77 years old, and I was 32 years old when I met him, and he was 25 years old, just had his 70th birthday. We are soulmates and enjoy life together. We’ve known lots of players as acquaintances and many multi decade married folks like us., Our oldest couple friends were mentors friends in 1976 who were then together since WWII as army officers in 1944, the year I was born. They “adopted” us and gave us insights about how to sustain our marriage even when the world defined us as illegal, immoral and abnormal... and in my lifetime.....we changed the DSM in 1973....check...normal, psychosexuality.....Lutheran, Anglican, National a Catholic, Quaker, Etc...revise moral theology and with a series of decisions, from Windsor to Obergefell, we are legal. We did tge hard work of blazing the trail for you,,if younger, as that couple and others did for us. Theybwerecparebts because of a for er straight marriage but surrogacy or adoption is the way to build your families. , Good luck, its rather lonely to be a player septuagenarian...I know two or three who regret much.
My experience as a PoC is so different and excluding in the gay world of dating. I guess being white comes with different expectations and experiences.
Ain’t this the truth. This is why visibility is so important. I feel like a lot of white gays don’t understand that dating as a POC or black is so difficult. It’s like a minority within a minority.
It's all about you..
@@nodruj8681 No it's all about you. PoC don't have as many resources or out visible role models like YT like this. They might exist but in anywhere near quantity out white gay youtubers. I'm gay old now so I don't care but when I was young this was it. There was little to nothing else on YT or other early social media so that was impressive because being gay was never mainstream before this. The only reason these complaints are made is young PoC sometimes have trouble finding anyone else to go to for advice.
Making such kind of gay dating community is so hard at this present time so I really very glad to know about your community.
Very informative!
Looks like there are more pros than cons at least in US
Really informative video Joseph! New subscriber here. I can relate to many things. I myself hate being pressured whilst dating. As a UK citizen 🇬🇧, I remember the incident you mentioned about the 2 ladies on the bus. :-(
I remember this story as well. What those boys did to those poor ladies was horrifying and it just goes to show how cruel the world can be. I hope those ladies are healing from that mortifying experience :(.
another great video hope it helps alot of people
That was very informative. Thanks
Drama can be good or bad especially when you’re in the disabled community like I’m blind. I can be interesting…
I hope you can be interesting…cause there are a lot of sight-abled guys who can’t!
What is the 'gay community', and why would I want to join it?
I’m in open relationship since 2007 with my partner and it works. We have 3 rules , 1- Never bring our “date” at home, it is our nest. 2- Keep your experiences for yourself, we don’t share details and don’t talk about it together 3- we do not develop an ongoing relationship with another guy. We respect monogamous guys but that is not working for us, so we had a clear conversation at the beginning our relationship about it. Sorry, hope I’m clear, I am french Canadian and my english is not so good.
Great video! Also, you are all very cute
From a very strick Christian teachings believer to an open minded believer was a struggling path to me. From this videos I saw 3 decent boys. Your poises are calm and gentle.
It's very courageous that you guys told God you wanna come to earth as gays.
With missions gays are in this world to teach straights to remove their discriminations. It's a difficult path for straight people to accept gay people who are special, especially for traditional religious teachings including muslims. The discriminations have been there as a long history until recent years, it's started to collapse.
I wouldn’t want to date in today’s world. There was no internet when I last dated. I met most people at the gym or the bars.
Amen brother.... what ever happened to going to a bar getting drunk and then you wake up in the morning next to a new guy.... that’s how I met my husband... 22 years later.. still going strong.
@@tomwalsh6056 People are a bit more educated about STDs/STIs and especially HIV (though PrEP is available in many countries nowadays, but it's not free). Getting drunk and hooking up in an impaired state with a random partner is the perfect recipe to catch something (not to mention the risk of violence or rape or even worse).
You are probably the most decent gay boy I have come across on RUclips. Continue to keep your purity in Spirit. Carefully choose your friends in dating app. This is just a mother's advice for you. My daughter is 26. I had taught her to view relationship a serious commitment. She should respect the boy's body. The body is the temple of the holy God. Thus, that's my sincere 2 cents also for gay friends. I'm happy my daughter chose friends very carefully from dating app and she's in a serious relationship that both has same target to get married.
Riley, you are soooo cute!
no open relationship, dating aps are the heartbreak app,
They definitely can be an emotional roller coaster. I’ve met quite a few friends from them though.
All adorable...but the guy with the gray sweater...❤
So frustrating trying to find guys to date in Utah, especially Happy Valley. Any suggestions other than what you have provided? Specific to Utah!
I will add one other thing and that has to do with being in a new relationship and things do not go well. I can't tell you how many friends ended up in this situation only to get into a huge fight because of it. When we do find someone by the time we get to that point if things do go wrong, and they do, then the results can be pretty brutal as the passion that is involved is tremendous. I think that is part of why many guys do not want to get to involved in a relationship. Also, the comment about the black girl going to a white school back in the days was more about how the status quo was very racist and homophobic as back in those days in my opinion white leadership capitalized in this behavior as a way to maintain the superiority especially with conservatives. That framework continues to fall apart these days as many younger citizens see how that framework is nothing but a bunch of lies. I yearn for the day a gay kid in high school is not called a f.... Thank you for posting.
And you’re all YOUNG!
Ryley your hot and cute dont listen to shallow haters
In India you can hold hands.
💙💙💙
I was told that a lot of guys wait for the other guy to make the first move, even online.
💖💖💖
💜
Hmm. Well, it’d help to have the perspective of POC and those who aren’t part of the popular gays crowd.
I live in az and find it off people would want you or think it’s weird to be in an open relationship. Sure it’s more of a “norm” in the gay world but I’ve never heard it be the “standard” or expectation.
Hi Josehp😃
❤
It's a shame Riley's Instagram doesn't work, he's really cute. 😊
Thanks for this video! It reminds me why I don't date
😂 😂 😂
Wow, long sleeves is HOTTT!
Thanks For Sharing
Listening to shared trauma never gets old. Discrimination is unacceptable. What is it that people can't be in other peoples shoes for a minute?
Guys: The LDS Church 130 years ago practiced polygamy. The LDS church was flexible enough then, why are they not flexible now?
Umm you all are Great looking the guy who says fat shaming. Hun you absolutely Gorgeous. Those men need their eyes checkef
💕
I wonder how different the dating experience is for POC?
It's very different. Worlds apart. Worse than that it's tough finding any minority gay youtubers who will talk about the topic. White Gays are everywhere just like the apps.
3 bottoms. See no evil. hear no evil. does plenty of evil.
! ? care to explain
When you have to explain things to a bottom, their best position for them is biting the pillow like David Hogg.
Joseph, where is your wine???
Con: Trying to find someone.
Have you dated either one of these guys, or how did you meet therm?
Josh is my roommate, and we met through mutual friends. Riley is someone I’m still getting to know but I met him through Josh. None of us have ever dated each other.
Hmmm so is there aLOt of gay mormons and gay mormon missionary...and do you recruit other people to join gay mormon church.....
whats hinge or gringe or grinder..??
5:56 Sorry Kimchi. No Fats, No Fems, No Asians xD
We have a lot of girlfriends and they're all fickle. 😆
💋💋💋💋💋🌹💋💋💋🌹 I wish 💋🌹💋🌹🌹
я из молдовы, люблю вас, мои дорогие старейшины, целую нежно, прошу вас, дайте мне священство мелхиседеково, президент прихода не дает мне его, потому, то я гей, церковь дескременирует меня вот уже больше года
Gay men date their brothers.
Jesus H Christ the one on the right is beautiful. 🧐
That’s Riley, his Instagram is in the video bio if you want to follow him 🤗
@@josephgarner94 I’m gonna have to look through some of your other videos; I could watch him talk all day.
So, did Joe get spit-roasted before the video, or after?
Ha Gayyyyyy
💜