How Being Too Positive Can Hurt Others

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  • Опубликовано: 26 дек 2024

Комментарии • 114

  • @jonathanschenck6892
    @jonathanschenck6892 23 часа назад +75

    I have encountered this in a relationship that has ended because I never felt heard when I was expressing a negative emotion. The blindness of toxic positivity made me feel like I had to overemphasize my feelings to the point where I seemed crazy and stuck in it, when all I ever wanted was a brief moment of understanding so I could move on.

    • @dashingskittle9470
      @dashingskittle9470 22 часа назад +7

      I relate so much.

    • @Nete-vb4xo
      @Nete-vb4xo 21 час назад +9

      Exactly! One time our former home burned down and I was crying to a friend. The only thing she said was "well at least no one was hurt". There was no compassion or help of any kind. Her comment only made it worse.

    • @wilmalay32
      @wilmalay32 16 часов назад +3

      Thank you for giving an example of this topic because I don't know. I believe I've been encountering this many times, even with my own family.

    • @SEllison-gl9fm
      @SEllison-gl9fm 13 часов назад +1

      They isolate the person they need to talk to to heal

    • @climbinghenge6382
      @climbinghenge6382 10 часов назад +1

      I appreciate you expressing yourself and that was probably frustrating for you to not be heard. ACCEPTANCE IS A HIGH EMOTIONAL FREQUENCY

  • @katherinenordone2940
    @katherinenordone2940 22 часа назад +34

    Yes!! Thank you so much for putting words to this. It is a lack of empathy. Last month I told someone that I was laid off from my job. She said, "When I get lemons, I make lemonade." And she moved on in the conversation. No acknowledment of my pain or worry at all. I felt like describing how how I needed to grieve the loss... but I decided not to bother - it would have been more painful to try to convince her that it was normal for me to feel sadness and worry.

    • @dawndraper9371
      @dawndraper9371 12 часов назад +1

      I feel like what you needed in that moment was validation for feeling feelings of grief and pain and sadness and just somebody to say: yes this sucks so badly! I'm sorry! And though I can't fix it, I can be here for you!

  • @theuniverselovesme1529
    @theuniverselovesme1529 18 часов назад +19

    THANK YOU, finally somebody gets it. My mother, though I love her a lot, is like this. She is constantly smiling and acting like life is wonderful, and when I was going through tough times, that was the last thing I needed. It felt very isolating, and I almost felt mocked whenever I tried to express any negative emotion. She would try to deescalate things, as if my negativity didn't hold any value, or validity.
    And the worst part is I feel like everybody sees her as this wonderful woman who I'm lucky to have as a mother, but nobody realizes the pain that her "positivity" causes in me. Again, I love her a lot, but I needed to address the crap that comes with her being my mom.

  • @alexthegordonhighlander1159
    @alexthegordonhighlander1159 3 часа назад +2

    Precisely! Bravo!! I experienced this and figured it out, thank God!! 😆 What a challenge us silly shiny happy people have to go through! 🙌

    • @sanamyah
      @sanamyah 2 часа назад

      Yeah when most of us are totally unaware 😆 it's pretty bonkers hey but truly magnificent when you start ascending up ✨️

  • @sonofhibbs4425
    @sonofhibbs4425 21 час назад +11

    Is this the same thing as ‘’churchiness’’? Where they think niceness is a virtue? Kindness is, but niceness has to do with putting on a face. Sometimes it’s kind to yell at someone in order to get their attention the same way my doctor reset my broken leg. It hurt so bad I howled, but only for a moment…and even so, it was a great kindness.

  • @keelyssecret
    @keelyssecret 19 часов назад +3

    This is my mother 💯 she does not understand why everyone calls her negative, because she is always so 'positive', but her toxic positivity pushes all the negativity out in others

  • @debraperry6091
    @debraperry6091 23 часа назад +32

    I don't know if it causes pain when I encounter it. I just find it blatantly dishonest, and I have a negative reaction to that level of dishonesty.

    • @blueclarity
      @blueclarity 9 часов назад

      A-fricken-men. It's watching someone lie to themselves so deeply THEY believe it.

    • @Thyalwaysseek
      @Thyalwaysseek 7 часов назад +2

      This.

    • @nthen-p9k
      @nthen-p9k 7 часов назад +1

      it’s not dishonest. l feel like justifying my choice. 1st thesaloanians 5:18 “ln all things be fhankyou’ do i get negative yes. bel rarely. i look on the bright side. it’s not dishonest. irs a choice and i consciously make the effort to honestly. mahalo

    • @blueclarity
      @blueclarity 5 часов назад

      @nthen-p9k I think there's a difference between someone making a choice and someone not being genuine.

  • @annikabirgittanordlander6887
    @annikabirgittanordlander6887 23 часа назад +8

    To me there are suppressed, ”subconscious”, ”unconscious” energies (often called ”negative”) and there are embraced, embodied, expressed, conscious, aware energies (labeled as ”positive”). My passion is to embrace all energies and those suppressed energies labeled as ”negative” is to me, challenging to embrace. Love and compassion to all energies. Thank you Teal 🌎🙏😘

  • @jimhough9234
    @jimhough9234 22 часа назад +8

    Thank You this makes sense 🙏

  • @morganchristmas6299
    @morganchristmas6299 20 часов назад +4

    This is what happened to me when I had really bad cancer. Don't do this to your loved ones. There is validity to their feelings. You need to find a leveled medium.

  • @au9parsec
    @au9parsec 6 часов назад +1

    Positivity only becomes toxic if someone is going through a hard time, but the people around them whether they're friends or family, refuses to listen to their problems because they only want to think about happy positive things.

  • @jamiemay8546
    @jamiemay8546 15 часов назад +3

    No judgment upon toxic positive people I mean they're just trying the best they can do. Balance is the most positive thing ever. A balance between yin and yang yin and darkness do not absolutely denote evil though

  • @jankokasszian3890
    @jankokasszian3890 10 часов назад

    You are such a phenomenon. I am grateful that you‘ve emerged, the world needs you pretty much

  • @kristenglenn7026
    @kristenglenn7026 16 часов назад +3

    It’s unrealistic & not healthy to always be positive. We are human meant to experience all of the emotions but we can learn to balance the negative or hard feelings by not sitting in them for too long. I think that’s when the challenge really begins. It’s easy to be happy when all is right

  • @sophie8466
    @sophie8466 23 часа назад +16

    Even if your positive mindset is honest, that means you are optimistic no matter what, people with negative mindset will refuse your Viewpoint and perspective. Because they are stuck in their negativity, and pessimistic mindset has that trait that it hates change. 🤷
    If positivity means lack of empathy and is toxic, it can also be said that negativity is lack of empathy torward people who like to see the new opportunity instead of the losses, and indeed is toxic because it pulls back people with high energy and motivation. But it is possible to develop empathy for both sides. So the problem is not that we are positive or negative, it is just that we are different. We should accept each others as we are, or look for compatible mates, friends. Simple respecting the feelings of others, or acknowledging it. Both sides.

    • @cassyhanley
      @cassyhanley 20 часов назад +1

      💯 percent! I like alot of what Teal talks about but I think she lapsed in understanding this paradox of emotional bias she is describing here, what I mean when I say by this is why is the assumption that it is on the responsibility on the "high energy person" to be understanding and NOT the other way around...especially when a person's internal state is NOT always the result of someone or something else changing...infact if you read the body keeps the score and the courage to be disliked...these books go into great lengths as to why a person is not and cannot be responsible for others feelings. If you are a loving, positive person and someone views this as MORE negativity...YOU are NOT the problem. Go forth and be positive! You become what you focus on.

    • @kristianefalk
      @kristianefalk 18 часов назад +2

      I think it's about being dismissive or ignorant towards one's counterpart here. Bcs then it's not useful or helpful to act 'positive'

    • @sophie8466
      @sophie8466 16 часов назад

      @@kristianefalk Only if you express your own positive mindset, people start to hate you 😩 experienced.. unfortunately. If I do it for myself ( because I want hope keep alive) I got also dismissed, critisised and hated, envy, jealousy, people call me annyoing, because it doesn't resonate with them etc. People should be responsible for their own feelings. I never understood why negative mindset is more common. Maybe because its easier available. But its not my fault. 🤷

    • @kristianefalk
      @kristianefalk 16 часов назад

      @@sophie8466 Well, what you are describing doesn't sound like the "toxic positivity" which the video is about. I think I know what you mean, in my experience people also don't know what to talk about if it's not about problems and stuff... But I do want to point out that this whole thing is not about who's fault something is, this is very important. Of course everyone is responsible for his own feelings. But everybody needs to be validated and recognized with their feelings. If you dismiss them, it will be harder for them to cope. You can help by just listening and be positive in your heart and bells them with light, not with words. If you feel they're none of your business then just leave them...

    • @sophie8466
      @sophie8466 15 часов назад

      @@kristianefalk yes, I said exactly that in my first comment. I just went further because it is also common, what I explained. This label " toxic positivity" can be dangerous, because people can easily start to label every positive minded person as toxic. In this society we have to be cautious with labels. We could rather call it "dismissive positivity" :D And this topic is so broad anyways.

  • @BelieveWomenWhenWeSay
    @BelieveWomenWhenWeSay 23 часа назад +5

    Wow- this is good and hit deep. I am So with you in this.

  • @lunkerjunkie
    @lunkerjunkie 23 часа назад +11

    do you know denial is form of resistance?

  • @steveelam2310
    @steveelam2310 21 час назад +4

    So true with family members,cant keep up with them,know who to share your stuff with,its not all good like them

    • @sabrinaoloughlin6957
      @sabrinaoloughlin6957 10 часов назад

      I am with you , venting can be a positive but it has to be completely guarded and supportive or will just reek havioc. Just beginning to understand why a good psychiatrist is importance because they act as a safe place to vent without judgment. I feel honestly as humans we believe we can be a good friend an not place judgment but we haven't evolved enough for it to affect our personal reality

  • @jacksavage279
    @jacksavage279 21 час назад +10

    I am not responsible for the feelings or actions, of anyone else just my own .I am staying positive no matter how toxic someone may think it is.

    • @spiderpunk1265
      @spiderpunk1265 20 часов назад +7

      Staying positive and blocking out ur negative emotions and others is 2 different things. It’s so fuckin unhealthy to not allow yourself be sad or angry. Even 5 year olds learn how to feel their emotions. We r lacking as a society.

    • @AngelNote1
      @AngelNote1 19 часов назад

      Agreed! We are human...life has a variety of positive and negative and being intensely poaitive ignores eeality and invalidates reality. This means we cannot face what is really going on and continues negative cycles. ​@@spiderpunk1265

    • @Thyalwaysseek
      @Thyalwaysseek 7 часов назад +1

      So you live in a constant state of deep denial then.

    • @YouTubingz
      @YouTubingz 6 часов назад +2

      You are responsible for your impact on others. This requires self-awareness. Anything else can be anti-social. 🕊

  • @BrandiMartin-g1p
    @BrandiMartin-g1p 12 часов назад

    Yes it is a problem and it is extremely cruel and cowardly and unrealistic for anyone to believe that it's okay to treat me or anyone else in such a way.

  • @caramia1906
    @caramia1906 12 часов назад

    I am related to a hyper positive person to the point they have told me what I can and cannot talk about, it must be positive at all costs. I am the angriest I ever am around this person. I always wondered why because she is always positive leaving me reeling after every conversation, this makes sense . I was starting to wonder why I am so enraged around such a "nice" person

    • @Thyalwaysseek
      @Thyalwaysseek 7 часов назад +1

      These people live their lives in a constant state of deep denial, when some crisis presents itself in their lives and it will they literally can't cope.

  • @abbierose2278
    @abbierose2278 20 часов назад +7

    For those of you confused why she's calling positivity toxic, I can explain. If you're a genuinely positive, happy person, good on you, don't stop. But your positivity can turn toxic if you use it as an excuse to not be empathetic towards people in pain. If you deny their hurt, it's dishonest and hurtful. That's what makes it toxic.
    If you assume someone can just "get over" their pain like you can just by thinking positively, you're actually putting up a barrier between you and the hurting person, because not everyone can bring themselves out of a slump just by thinking positively.
    If you think you can help somebody feel better just by acting positive and cheerful, imagine doing that same thing at a funeral. Think how tone-deaf that would be. If someone says they're hurting, make a habit of taking them at their word that they're hurting, and don't just assume they're being negative for the sake of it.
    Genuine, honest optimism and positivity are beautiful qualities. But they become toxic when we use it as a way to deny pain, whether someone else's or even our own. If you're the sort of person who uses positivity to deny your own pain, not only will you disconnect from yourself, but others won't be able to connect to you because you're being dishonest with them. This is why she says there's so many layers to the pain that can be caused by toxic positivity.
    And if you were so offended by this clip that you felt the need to comment, think about that for awhile. If your positivity is actively hurting someone and you're upset that someone pointed it out, maybe try and figure out what that says about you. Are you really as positive of a person as you claim? And is it really helpful for you or the people around you? If we are truly positive, happy people, our cup should be full, and we should be even more capable of kindness and empathy for other's pain, not the opposite.

    • @kristianefalk
      @kristianefalk 18 часов назад +5

      ❤👌👌👌👌 this should be pinned

    • @soulinlove369
      @soulinlove369 14 часов назад +2

      🐲 Nice one . Gratitude and deep resonance 🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

    • @SEllison-gl9fm
      @SEllison-gl9fm 13 часов назад

      Some people have more conversations with social media than they do with the people they think about

    • @SEllison-gl9fm
      @SEllison-gl9fm 13 часов назад +1

      Perfect people are so afraid to get hurt and isolate not only themselves but in return isolate others and often never see that it’s perpetrated by this

    • @SEllison-gl9fm
      @SEllison-gl9fm 13 часов назад

      Excuses

  • @bettyfreddy8377
    @bettyfreddy8377 23 часа назад +2

    You are a genius

  • @millabacklund6413
    @millabacklund6413 14 часов назад

    Thankyou it makes sense 😮

  • @MJ-ge6jz
    @MJ-ge6jz 21 час назад +4

    Being over positive is a great way to gaslight reality.

  • @Thyalwaysseek
    @Thyalwaysseek 7 часов назад

    People who are always positive to the point of literally avoiding ANYTHING negative are the most unbalanced people around.

  • @julieandco
    @julieandco 23 часа назад +5

    Facts

  • @corierae2046
    @corierae2046 22 часа назад +3

    I just find myself to be a cheerful person because my inner world is authentically a positive place MOST of tbe time, and I act from that space, rather than the external most of the time. I can see how the disconnect is out of context and burdensome to others, yet I'm not going to dim my shine for vampires.

    • @Mia-zi5se
      @Mia-zi5se 22 часа назад +1

      I'm somewhere between your and Teal's perspective. I understand both and have a little of both in me. Genuine question, have you had a hard time finding other people who share your mindset?

    • @abigailkendrick
      @abigailkendrick 19 часов назад

      But just by calling people vampires whom maybe aren’t able to be as “positive “ as you perfectly illustrates her point. 😂

    • @kristianefalk
      @kristianefalk 18 часов назад

      That's not what she's talking about. 🤷‍♀️

    • @Thyalwaysseek
      @Thyalwaysseek 7 часов назад

      To be positive in a dying world full of violence, corruption and evil is literally a form of avoidance.

  • @SilverGuerrido
    @SilverGuerrido 22 часа назад +1

    Amo mucho a esta linda hermosa mujer ❤me ayuda salir a delante, gracias linda

  • @casz7098
    @casz7098 15 часов назад

    It's like politics. Some go to the extreme left or right, while most nestle in a nice comfortable place somewhere closer to the middle. It's somewhere where we can live with each other. Everything is in balance whether we see it or not. We need both sides of everything and everything in between.

  • @S.G.W.Verbeek
    @S.G.W.Verbeek 21 час назад +2

    So what do you do when you are toxic with your negativity? I never tried it because I don't want to use people as a test experiment😅
    Asking for a friend 🙂

  • @aboutnol
    @aboutnol 23 часа назад +5

    🔥🔥💯💯💯❤❤

  • @kingroman9538
    @kingroman9538 13 часов назад

    Deal with this all the time! People who will invalidate a person's real life struggles by telling them to man up!, or to literally not express their problems or pain. Life is not all positivity, we all go through individual challenges, stuff another person might not understand or have gone through themselves, so when they hear a person expressing themselves they instantly call them negative & say it's them complaining.if you don't want to hear about someone's personal struggles that's fine, it's insensitive but fine. But to invalidate a person's lived experience so that you don't have to feel uncomfortable is unnecessary & further adding to their struggles q

  • @talltree8697
    @talltree8697 11 часов назад

    You get it...😊

  • @sabrinaoloughlin6957
    @sabrinaoloughlin6957 10 часов назад

    But I feel I need to understand this more, please continue...

  • @thelondoners-lifeisart
    @thelondoners-lifeisart 20 часов назад +1

    Guilty… and not for any reason other than good intent. Very harmful unrealistic and short sighted.
    #pausingforward
    ⚡️❤️💜💙⚡️

  • @blugirlsirop
    @blugirlsirop 22 часа назад +1

    She be knowing

  • @eirikmurito
    @eirikmurito 17 часов назад

    People like that are actually the most negative thats why theyre coping with imaginary sunshine and rainbows. Its actually nicer to just watch the rain, sometimes i even enjoy it..

  • @jmclivingwithart581
    @jmclivingwithart581 16 часов назад +1

    Now you're talking! This psycho-correctness business is unbalanced and unrealistic. The "negative" needs to be pointed out as such, then something can be done about it. Yet "toxic positivity" looks like an oxymoron ( if I may get a few more "o"s and another "x" in).

  • @timothygibney159
    @timothygibney159 11 часов назад

    Like the folks who say there are no problems only opportunities

  • @sabrinaoloughlin6957
    @sabrinaoloughlin6957 10 часов назад

    Never heard of toxic positivity...

  • @annaholden2406
    @annaholden2406 18 часов назад +1

    🌟

  • @purplemonsoon8376
    @purplemonsoon8376 17 часов назад

    What video is this clip from please?

  • @Jared777H
    @Jared777H 8 часов назад

    Its not toxic its either phony or its real

  • @deborahcambria3005
    @deborahcambria3005 13 часов назад

    What about toxic negativity?!

  • @loukaskatsaros5947
    @loukaskatsaros5947 21 час назад +1

    So what is a toxic positivity? Is it part of being ignorant?

  • @michaelgarrow3239
    @michaelgarrow3239 22 часа назад

    I went to bed in an Oceanview mansion and woke up in a junkyard in the desert.
    This sounds like a they problem.

  • @dmcsunshine1
    @dmcsunshine1 22 часа назад

  • @nthen-p9k
    @nthen-p9k 7 часов назад

    so then Teol. lm just a little confused because lm a positive person but was somehow drawn to your statement. please explain toxic positivity vs positivity if you will please. mahalo
    l choose to be positive’ya know. good morning love the cookies rhe coffee hit the spot. believe me i have my moments as well but at a minimum.

  • @gofiodetrigo8756
    @gofiodetrigo8756 16 часов назад

    doctor K vs Teal Swan: fight! 😂

  • @thequestrelic4018
    @thequestrelic4018 15 часов назад

    What does that mean?

  • @OziBlokeTimG
    @OziBlokeTimG 15 часов назад

    You are the most beautiful female on the planet ❤️ 😮

  • @SEllison-gl9fm
    @SEllison-gl9fm 13 часов назад

    So screw being brave you might accomplish something go like a relationship that leads to better relationships

  • @chrisbreatheslove
    @chrisbreatheslove 6 часов назад

    It’s just not having compassion.
    Come on bro just be positive! It pushes the other person into not being understood or even disregarded depending on how it’s communicated. “Just be positive”. As if I can snap my finger and randomly become positive all the sudden.

  • @SerenitYVocalized2.0
    @SerenitYVocalized2.0 23 часа назад

    ✨!✨

  • @wvglitter7761
    @wvglitter7761 13 часов назад

    🤯

  • @climbinghenge6382
    @climbinghenge6382 10 часов назад

    Nonsense talk here we should all strive to ASCEND in high frequency emotions such as love, gratitude , joy and contentment. These emotional frequencies decrease stress in the body and in others.

    • @Thyalwaysseek
      @Thyalwaysseek 7 часов назад

      Rubbish, the only reason you can delude yourself with these beliefs is that you live a nice safe life in a relatively stable first world country. Do you think somebody scraping their dinner from a bin or sleeping in a tent because their houses was bombed is striving to ascend by lifting their frequency? I bet you don't even spare a thought for those people do you?

  • @skyfike6807
    @skyfike6807 22 часа назад +3

    Positive people shouldn't need to take responsibility for weak mentalities of others. I don't believe in toxic positivity... there's good & bad in everything. I think this is a label caused by mob mentality that aren't willing to do inner work.

  • @edwardbarnhart1698
    @edwardbarnhart1698 19 часов назад

    Hi

  • @sjfsaphire4659
    @sjfsaphire4659 14 часов назад

    In short trust in God's plan.

  • @Hevle24
    @Hevle24 23 часа назад +7

    I dont agree with this. I'm happy, I practice gratitude for every small thing. I don't let another persons attitude or experience shift my own attitude or experience. I think the people you're talking about need to work on themselves instead of getting angry or negative at someone else simply because they have a positive attitude. Personal accountability goes a long way.

    • @amandabame7981
      @amandabame7981 23 часа назад +4

      I think the people who don't want to look at their own stuff would see anyone in a good mood as toxic 🤔

    • @kristianefalk
      @kristianefalk 18 часов назад +1

      That's not what she's talking about.

  • @marioescobedo5854
    @marioescobedo5854 15 часов назад

    Too bad, the positive person shouldn’t dim their light for a miserable person. Thats not healthy either for the positive person.

  • @MarIsaBelleJones-Mendiola
    @MarIsaBelleJones-Mendiola 23 часа назад

    Doing this not only does it encourage to not take things personally but also helps slash old memories with new moments
    In Total transparency
    Just saying that positive is negative orders only cause you added the word toxic
    Why??😢

  • @SEllison-gl9fm
    @SEllison-gl9fm 13 часов назад

    Just saying some people do tell stories for years and take no responsibility in im sorry what i perceived to be the truth and i didnt take time to understand you or anyone else bc i was in my victim slash lie that made me also a villain box wouldnt let me tell the whole damn truth. Mom

  • @Zainygreenstone
    @Zainygreenstone 22 часа назад

    I hate this. Thanks!

  • @Martin-gf1hh
    @Martin-gf1hh 23 часа назад +4

    What a bunch of word salad

  • @BeautyisSacred
    @BeautyisSacred 19 часов назад