I just want to volunteer that as a gay man I’ve had quite a few women and men tell me that I haven’t met the right woman yet. It certainly might be less than what a lesbian experiences, but it definitely does happen.
I can’t even explain how true the femme lesbian part is! I’m a trans woman, still closeted, and one of the things that constantly confuses me is whether to go femme or butch afterward. On the one hand, I sometimes think the pressure from cis women to be “girly” enough is a factor in my acclimation towards femme. On the other hand, I sometimes think the pressure from both cishet women and cis-lesbians not to be “playing to stereotypes” is a factor in my acclimation to butch. After some thought, I really think I more desire to be femme (with maybe just a mild _sprinkle_ of butch), but am scared of disappointing queer women. Like, as if it’s been ingrained into me that I don’t get to be femme AND still be a lesbian.
Dear Lady Y, I can only speak from a cis-lesbian perspective. I think not playing to stereotypes has less to do with appearance and more to do with not fitting gender binaries. I don't think you need to worry about making statements with your clothes. I have days where I dress more 'butch' and I have days where I dress more 'femme'. It's not the only options. Be yourself, do and dress however you feel, and don't worry about disappointing anyone. What you wear doesn't define who you love and it doesn't define how wonderful you are. Hope it helps. Stay awesome x
Just for clarity’s sake, you’re saying that you’ve transitioned but you’re still in the closet for being attracted to cis lesbian women? If that’s it, just know that you’re not alone in your thoughts. There are some Lesbians (not many, but there are) out there who are stuck on the cis binary paradigm who can’t (or won’t) acknowledge that queerness ALSO lies outside of the monosexuality that accompanies that paradigm, but gay men are arguably worse for doing this. For instance, when both gay and straight people rudely ask: “Are you gay or straight?” Neither. This caveats as a manifestation of bisexual erasure even in the queer community that is supposed to be all accepting of non-heteronormativity, so again, you’re not alone.
I just want to volunteer that as a gay man I’ve had quite a few women and men tell me that I haven’t met the right woman yet. It certainly might be less than what a lesbian experiences, but it definitely does happen.
What’s the name of the whole episode? I would love to listen to it 😊
I can’t even explain how true the femme lesbian part is! I’m a trans woman, still closeted, and one of the things that constantly confuses me is whether to go femme or butch afterward.
On the one hand, I sometimes think the pressure from cis women to be “girly” enough is a factor in my acclimation towards femme. On the other hand, I sometimes think the pressure from both cishet women and cis-lesbians not to be “playing to stereotypes” is a factor in my acclimation to butch.
After some thought, I really think I more desire to be femme (with maybe just a mild _sprinkle_ of butch), but am scared of disappointing queer women. Like, as if it’s been ingrained into me that I don’t get to be femme AND still be a lesbian.
Dear Lady Y, I can only speak from a cis-lesbian perspective. I think not playing to stereotypes has less to do with appearance and more to do with not fitting gender binaries. I don't think you need to worry about making statements with your clothes. I have days where I dress more 'butch' and I have days where I dress more 'femme'. It's not the only options. Be yourself, do and dress however you feel, and don't worry about disappointing anyone. What you wear doesn't define who you love and it doesn't define how wonderful you are. Hope it helps. Stay awesome x
I also felt the need to answer but I think the answers are all here. 💞
Just for clarity’s sake, you’re saying that you’ve transitioned but you’re still in the closet for being attracted to cis lesbian women? If that’s it, just know that you’re not alone in your thoughts. There are some Lesbians (not many, but there are) out there who are stuck on the cis binary paradigm who can’t (or won’t) acknowledge that queerness ALSO lies outside of the monosexuality that accompanies that paradigm, but gay men are arguably worse for doing this. For instance, when both gay and straight people rudely ask: “Are you gay or straight?” Neither.
This caveats as a manifestation of bisexual erasure even in the queer community that is supposed to be all accepting of non-heteronormativity, so again, you’re not alone.
Why this is not a podcast too :(((((
It is
Almost every one of their videos are just segments of their podcasts.
I Love history so much
They didn’t get arrested, they’d get institutionalised 😔