"You have to test drive the car before you can buy it" same phrase people say about saving sex for marriage! We are humans not objects buying a car and spending your life with someone is completely different! If people trust God to provide them with the spouse their suppose to be with, why do we need to "test" things? We would be confident that things will work out like He promised!
SophHolly I thought I was the only one too! It's freaks me out when people say this, because there's very little out there who know this . Life is not a competition we are not experiments!
I’m recently engaged (like 48 hours ago recently) and I have already been asked when we are moving in together. When I tell people “well...after the wedding” they always freak out. This video confirmed my decision to not live together until after our wedding. Im also now pumped up sooooo much to live out a sacrament with the man I love!!!! 😍
Justine_CG same experience here, people at work just assumed we were living together. We’ve now been married for 2 months and so glad we didn’t live together beforehand. Like Emily said it’s beautiful how it all changes overnight 😊
BEAUTIFUL!!! My husband and I also saved sex for marriage and didn’t live together before marriage. And honestly it was one of the best decisions of my life. You said it so well: “It was radically different, but it was radically beautiful.” I want that beauty for every girl. I still am so in awe that I don’t have to go home at night anymore. And the challenges brought us so much closer together. Thank you for sharing this.
“Thankfully, Daniël isn’t a Toyota.” - Ahahahah yes!! That was perfect. Man, if I had a nickel for the times I’ve heard those same statements! Also the “well when you’re engaged, living together is fine because you’re basically married.” 🙄 I’ve talked to you about how much I am thankful for your view on so many things but this is one of the top ones! Since it’s hard to find other women in my daily life that believe this and I can discuss it with! So thank you. You’re the best. May God continue to bless you!
Well considering that some NASCAR fans believe that the Toyotas are cheating, that was definitely a great statement. (note that as a guy, I am pretty sure no one else that watches this knows anything about NASCAR except for left turns)
My husband and I did the same. I think my favorite part was the process of building a home together the first couple of months after we got married. Wouldn't trade it for anything!
“Chastity is not convenient” ... ain’t that the truth! So so so so so grateful for these videos bc they always come right when I need them!! 😭😍 thanks for your witness & your words!!!
I did the same thing with my husband we have been married for 22 years we didn't live together befor marriage and coming to our new home after was so exciting and new and perfect.
My fiancé and I have also chosen to live chastity in our relationship. It’s not easy and it’s definitely countercultural but I feel so much exactly what you had said. That the wedding vow is for Life. I tell people when they think we’re making a mistake not living together before marriage that we have the rest of our lives to figure out how to live together. My Stephen and I love adventure so living together for the first time and for the rest of our lives is going to be the greatest adventure. Love you Emily and all your wisdom and all your words. Thank you for sharing
Thank you thank you thank you for always being the most encouraging sister of Christ telling me to not settle for anything less than God’s perfection in my life!!! Thanks sista, videos like this mean the world❤️
Emily u are so great I admire you so much, you are a woman of great courage and true christianity, very few peaple have the guts to stand for what is right according to God's word... and to oppenly talk about it!! that makes u the perfect target for a loooot of critizes and controversy... woman, u are brave ;)
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I also had a long distance relationship ( OK and TX) for almost a year and a half before we were married. We chose not to live together and chose not to have sex before marriage. It was such a great decision. Our lives did change drastically. My husband had been married before so our lives also changed drastically the day we got married. I became wife and stepmom all in the same day. My husband and boys also had to get used to having someone around again and they welcomed me into their space. I am so thankful for the relationship I have with my husband and boys. We have been upfront and honest with them about chastity and living together before marriage. I hope that they see a Christ centered marriage with us.
Watching your videos really helps remind me of who I am and what the big picture is. They help keep my focused and remind me that I am loved by God, that I have dignity for just being who I am, that a relationship status doesn't define my worth, and doing things God's way is always worth it. Thank you so much!
Emily, I've been single for 10 months now. My ex boyfriend was an amazing guy but he totally did a 180° turn the last few months we were dating & I didn't know who he was anymore. We were together for 3 years & he ended up cheating on me & lying to me about it. He's engaged with her now & I'm not unhappy about it, but I'm scared. I know not every guy is like him or will be like him but I'm still very scared. I've never had a marriage to look up to & marriage is a scary thing to me now. I've grown up with my parents fighting all the time & hating each other. All the marriages in my family are the same-they're together but they hate each other. My uncle is never home & cheats on his wife all the time & drinks & doesn't care. My dad is honestly the least bad out of all the men in my family but he still treats my mom like garbage. I grew up watching them fight & yell & throw things & curse at each other & take it out on me & my brothers. I'm so scared that will happen to me. What if I end up marrying a man like my father? What if everything is well in the first 5 years & then he changes? I'm so scared & I find myself getting a hardened heart. I don't want it to happen to me. I want to be happy in my future marriage. So many men are begging for my attention & asking me on dates but I've said no to all of them because I'm scared. I know I should get over getting my ex but I loved him so much & as stupid & cheesy as it sounds, I don't know how I could love someone else. I've never admitted it until now, but I'm so scared. I know God has someone special just for me & I seek the Lord daily & I am so in love with God, but what if the man has for me changes? Marriage scares me so much. My mom & my aunt always tell me to be careful the man I marry because I'll never know who he really is. They always tell be to see the red flags & not to cloud my vision. They always tell me to not let my guard down because that's when the real them will attack. They always tell me to be careful because I could get trapped since marriage is lifelong. I don't want to be trapped like the women in my family. I love being free & independent but I would want a husband to let me do that, if that makes sense. Sorry if none of this makes sense, it's 3:52 am lol I hope you read this...how can this fear leave my mind? It's killing me.
Roxxie Dymond I’m in a similar situation now. Before I was so eager to get married and thought nothing could go wrong. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve looked around at my family, friends, and other marriages and have realized that it’s not always what it seems, happy long term. It scares me too, you’re not alone. So many people in my family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc all are unhappy or on their 2nd+ divorce. As one of the only christian women in the family who values marriage, it’s scarring to see so much hatred and change from partners. Partners can turn on each other in an instant. Despite this, my advice for you and I is to look to God. My teacher married a man who ended up being abusive towards her. On their wedding day God told her not to marry him but she did anyway. They divorced years ago but the lesson remains the same. God speaks to us all the time. If you feel your engagement/boyfriend isn’t right, you should listen to what God is trying to warn you about. God is looking out for us and in the end it will work out, maybe not the way we want, but it will for the better. So, I would say to trust and listen to God. Also, take it slow. Many relationships don’t last long today because they try to take on a married couples life when they aren’t actually married. The truest test is resisting temptation, if your relationship from the very beginning is based solely on God and you two’s love, it won’t fail. For example, by not having sex, children, living together, etc. before marriage, you’re testing each others devotion to you and God. By your partner remaining faithful, you can see their true colors. If they don’t like what you have to offer during dating, it’s easy to leave the relationship when marriage isn’t an issue. I’m not condemning anyone here, I’m sure there’s a few healthy relationships that weren’t always godly, but often the marriages that don’t last are the ones who didn’t start off in God. I assume that most of your family’s relationships don’t and never have been revolved around God. So just maybe trust God that He has a plan for you, and remember that amazing things happen when He stays the center of your life! You might go through some obstacles, unfaithful partners, unhappy marriage, bad friendships, etc. But His end result for you is always good. Stay strong! -Ella
I relate to this so much. I've never had a great example of what a marriage looks like. My mother and grandmother also tell me things to look for in a man and what to watch out for but I have to also realize and take into consideration that my mother and grandmother weren't waiting for a godly man. I refuse to settle for less and I want a god fearing man.
Hi Roxxie.. I'm not claiming to be a relationship expert or anything but any relationship /marriage will be what you both make of it. Both partners have to actively be putting forth the effort to be a good partner. Both of you will have to overcome pride/jealousy/anger and communicate your frustrations so that they don't build up. A lot of marriages fail because people forget that you have to maintain the friendship within your relationship. Marriages fail also because people don't try to fix things before too much damage has been done! Hardly any people who are divorced saw a marriage counselor, or sought help. They just went the "easy" way out and got divorced. As for your ex,, I would say be glad he is out of your life. He showed his true colors and it's better for you to know the person he really is. It doesn't look or feel like it now but you'll get over him, especially since you seem to have a close relationship with God. As for your concerns about future relationships, I would say to find a man that also has a close relationship with God. Both of you will have to actively want to have God at the center of your relationship because trust me, it's such a wonderful experience.
I agree with all the comments. As a 43 year old woman who's never been married. And I've been in bad relationships that were going no where right from the start but I choose to not listen to these warnings. One thing was, I was very scared of ending up being alone. Which was not true since Jesus is always there, even when I do not feel his presents. I learned that I sought out emotionally unavailable men. Ones who I thought were exciting and we'd have fun exciting times. Which was true but I was never at peace, I was always questioning these relationships and trying my hardest to give and give but these guys only took advantage. And praise the Lord I never ended up with any of them. Once I fully sought Jesus and looked at what it is I truly wanted in a husband that is when my standards changed for the better. Plus if I wanted an exciting life I did not need a man by my side in order to have that excitement that I crave so much. I started going out by myself as scary as it was and started doing things that I liked that made me happy. Plus I learned I was making marriage an idol in my life too. There were many many times I would cry tears to God and ask him for a husband. I learned that was a very selfish thing to do. That I already have a perfect relationship and that is with Jesus. I too grew up in a home were the marriage was not happy. And had no in real life examples of what a true God fearing marriage looked like. I still had examples but these were from books I read, old TV shows, and old movies that I watched. And I am forever grateful for these examples it taught me a lot and what to look for and that its not always going to be sunshine and roses. Plus I learned I needed to work on myself and ask myself questions, what is it in my life that I need to work on in order to be a God fearing wife to my husband? Am I willing to walk side by side with a man or is it going to be two separate people? Right now I am not dating and I am enjoy my single time because I can spoil myself rotten, LOL. And I have not dated in 16 years. I'm getting to know what kind of woman I am along with having a closer deeper relationship with Jesus, who I talk to all the time about my thoughts and struggles. I am so grateful for the single life that Jesus has blessed me with and I know its not going to last forever but I will be sad to see my single time end. It may not end in marriage and it may end with me continuing to be a bride and Jesus my continued bridegroom which is fantastic! All I'm saying is learn what it is you truly want in a husband and never ever lower these standards. And one very important thing is having a closer deeper relationship with Jesus. I talk to him any time I want and he will never tell me to shut up he will hear me no matter what it is. I've talked about the same things with Jesus over and over where a person would get tired and not want to hear me anymore. That is what I love about my relationship with Jesus and I do cry out to him all the time went things are so tuff that I hurt. And beg and plead for his arms around me while hugging and crying into my own arms because for me it is my way of also hugging Jesus back. I'm in no way perfect and never will be thanks to Jesus for teaching me what to look for and to look at the woman I've become with his help I know I am the strongest person I know and a very awesome lady too. And whatever happens in the future as long as I have Jesus he'll make my cross lighter. And he truly makes me happy because he allows me to be my true self. And the man who becomes my husband will 100% know right away that he will never have my heart the way Jesus will forever have my heart. This man will always be second in my life no matter what.
I love this video. It's so nice to hear from someone who has done this. The people saying its impossible are so loud, but I'm grateful for your perspective and story so that I know it's possible. Thank you!! Also, I really like the backdrop it's super pretty❤
Also I think it would be cool if you made a video that goes more in depth of the challanges (nothing to personal, no one wants to pry). I feel like you talk a lot about the benefits of your lifestyle but I would also like to hear about some of the challenges because I feel like to make this decisons one should hear both sides. Also I am not talking about the social struggles with other people because I think you cover them well but about challenges inside a Christian relationship like yours or possible challenges with the partner.
This video describes my situation perfectly! My wedding is next year and waiting has been difficult but I'm SO excited for all that is to come once it comes time to actually move in together after the wedding. I feel people who live together beforehand lose all that excitement. I can't even imagine coming home after your wedding to the same place you've been living in together already. Can't feel the same at all! Thanks for this. Love your videos.
Thank you for making these videos. These things are convictions I have held prior to dating, and now that I am dating it’s difficult to explain why I want to continue to live this way. The world does not understand what marriage is, and your videos have definitely helped me explain better why I’m staying in my own apartment and not sleeping over and all that stuff!
Thanks for sharing! Not many people do this at all and most people who do move in together don't save sex for marriage, so I can see how that can be a big factor into it
Totally agree with everything you said in this video! Me and Mat live in the U.K., and since the average age of marriage here is like 31 for women and 33 for men it was super odd for people that we didn't move in together before marriage (as well as them finding it strange that we got married so much younger). I love that you focused on other reasons as well as just saving sex for marriage! - Est X
My heart just melts when you talk about this! Me and my boyfriend handle it the same and I just can’t wait to experience all what you have experienced! Thank you for that amazing video and thoughts!
Thanks for sharing about this! It has become so counter culture to do things in this order so I'll admit I've been a little nervous about our wedding and big life changes coming in June. Its great to hear people who do it this way still exist and are successful in the modern world.
Emily, you always give such great advice. I myself am not in this position, but some of my friends are, so thank you for giving me advice I can share with my friends!!
Thank you so much, Emily for such an honest and wonderful video. I am not very religious but I do believe in God and I find everything you say so right and how I feel it in my heart. Thank you for being awesome and setting a great example!!
I really love your videos, there helpful and you seem so down to earth like a friend talking to another friend lol. PS : I love we you talk about your marriage, I just love Love 😂❤
Thank you so much for this video!! My fiancé and I have been dating for seven years and we are waiting until we are married to live together and like you I am also very excited for all the changes that are coming our way. It is so exciting to think about all the new experiences that we are yet to have. Everything will be different as we learn from each other and grow together with God ❤️
Thank you for sharing your insights and your experiences about waiting till after married to move in together. I am from the Philippines, in our culture we believe in moving in with your significant other after marriage. I will stick to that! I think there's something special about waiting till afterward. :)
I’m not in a relationship or engaged, but I’m very anxious about finding those little annoyances and habits that you don’t see prior to living with someone. What was your experience with this? How did you discuss certain habits that bothered you?
Marissa hopefully when you're in a relationship you have a bedrock of good communication, mutual respect, and selflessness to use for stuff like this! Me and my husband didn't live together before being married, and when issues came up (and come up now!) one of us will explain to the other how that behavior makes us feel, and talk about how we can move forward.
Marissa p.s. also, the things that annoyed me most when we were first married arose mainly from my own character. I used to be frustrated with my husband because I felt he was doing things too slowly or not working things out fast enough, and really, that was the result of my own pride and impatience. I found that thinking time about *why* things he did annoyed me helped me to see the real issues.
There will always be this that can annoy us. You will most likely have things you do that will annoy someone else. You learn communication and grace...it all works out when God is the center.
Be the person the person you want to be with would want to be with. Find implies looking. Don't worry too much about looking. He's out there, just be the best version of yourself you can be and you'll find someone special. Oh! and pray for him.
My husband and I were married six months ago and did the same thing. It was the best decision we've ever made. People who don't understand what it's like to live and hold standards like that always view it as a bad decision to factor religion into dating choices and to not live/sleep together before marriage, that you're suppressing yourself and one day you're going to let it all go and go nuts. But because they've never lived it they can't understand all the amazing benefits that come along when you live you life that way! I'm so thankful that we lived that way before marriage because we have the blessing of a large amount of self-control that has saved us from so many fights and misunderstandings. Self-control is never something that you'll regret later, it only makes you stronger
AMEN! Why would I want my day after the wedding to feel exactly like the days before the wedding? Honestly, why even get married at that point? Living together before the wedding robs the glory and beauty from the sacrament of marriage that it rightly deserves.
the last wedding I was at, was lavish and glamorosus , fairytale location and all that but I noticed that the bride and groom were never joining in together , taking part in 1-2 dances and were off doing their separate thing and it puzzled me... I guess that living together was a common thing and the excitement wore off long time ago
Would it be an option to live together if there were other people around (eg. family members or room mates)? I mean would it make living together less tempting?
I’m a guy watching this which is kind of weird, but it’s nice to know there are still women like you around who want to wait until marriage
Ben- there's lots of us, hold on there bro.
I'm a college guy and I believe in this too. Would be awesome if your husband could give us men some advice as well.
I'm trying to encourage some of my guy friends who are great speakers to get on RUclips and make videos for men!
So so thankful us young women have you to look up to. You are so wise.
Agreed!
You here!!! Love your videos! :)
Becca, you are awesome!! Thank you for the love and support! xo
Totally agree!
Emily Wilson Emily, I totally agree with you about that!
It’s so weird to me that the norm is to live together before you are married.
Ashley it seems too casual for me
"You have to test drive the car before you can buy it" same phrase people say about saving sex for marriage! We are humans not objects buying a car and spending your life with someone is completely different! If people trust God to provide them with the spouse their suppose to be with, why do we need to "test" things? We would be confident that things will work out like He promised!
Yes and amen!
SophHolly I thought I was the only one too! It's freaks me out when people say this, because there's very little out there who know this . Life is not a competition we are not experiments!
God bless u omg
Lovely answer Jehovah God knows us and his standards will not and have not changed Emily is an excellent example for the youth of today.
Audrey thanks!
I’m recently engaged (like 48 hours ago recently) and I have already been asked when we are moving in together. When I tell people “well...after the wedding” they always freak out.
This video confirmed my decision to not live together until after our wedding. Im also now pumped up sooooo much to live out a sacrament with the man I love!!!! 😍
Justine_CG same experience here, people at work just assumed we were living together. We’ve now been married for 2 months and so glad we didn’t live together beforehand. Like Emily said it’s beautiful how it all changes overnight 😊
Justine_CG also - CONGRATULATIONS!!
Congrats! Keep on holding on your decision 💛
BEAUTIFUL!!! My husband and I also saved sex for marriage and didn’t live together before marriage. And honestly it was one of the best decisions of my life. You said it so well: “It was radically different, but it was radically beautiful.” I want that beauty for every girl. I still am so in awe that I don’t have to go home at night anymore. And the challenges brought us so much closer together. Thank you for sharing this.
“Thankfully, Daniël isn’t a Toyota.” - Ahahahah yes!! That was perfect. Man, if I had a nickel for the times I’ve heard those same statements! Also the “well when you’re engaged, living together is fine because you’re basically married.” 🙄
I’ve talked to you about how much I am thankful for your view on so many things but this is one of the top ones! Since it’s hard to find other women in my daily life that believe this and I can discuss it with! So thank you. You’re the best. May God continue to bless you!
You're the best right back, Kirsten. Thank you so much for your comment!
Well considering that some NASCAR fans believe that the Toyotas are cheating, that was definitely a great statement. (note that as a guy, I am pretty sure no one else that watches this knows anything about NASCAR except for left turns)
Shout out to all the women who are striving to remain pure. And the guys too. Much RESPECT. I mean it.
My husband and I did the same. I think my favorite part was the process of building a home together the first couple of months after we got married. Wouldn't trade it for anything!
Yes! I really enjoyed that part too.
“Thankfully, Daniel is not a Toyota” 💀😂😂
Cathy Stout that part killed me
What you gain by waiting to live together is irreplaceable. If someone is wanting to save money then live with your parents.
Irreplaceable indeed.
Exactly...
“Chastity is not convenient” ... ain’t that the truth! So so so so so grateful for these videos bc they always come right when I need them!! 😭😍 thanks for your witness & your words!!!
I did the same thing with my husband we have been married for 22 years we didn't live together befor marriage and coming to our new home after was so exciting and new and perfect.
My fiancé and I have also chosen to live chastity in our relationship. It’s not easy and it’s definitely countercultural but I feel so much exactly what you had said. That the wedding vow is for Life. I tell people when they think we’re making a mistake not living together before marriage that we have the rest of our lives to figure out how to live together. My Stephen and I love adventure so living together for the first time and for the rest of our lives is going to be the greatest adventure. Love you Emily and all your wisdom and all your words. Thank you for sharing
Thank you thank you thank you for always being the most encouraging sister of Christ telling me to not settle for anything less than God’s perfection in my life!!! Thanks sista, videos like this mean the world❤️
I am so glad Bianca!
"Thankfully Daniel is not a Toyota." 😂💖 On point as always!
Thanks Aurora!
Emily u are so great I admire you so much, you are a woman of great courage and true christianity, very few peaple have the guts to stand for what is right according to God's word... and to oppenly talk about it!! that makes u the perfect target for a loooot of critizes and controversy... woman, u are brave ;)
Thanks Nadia :) It's worth it to be brave!
I'm engaged and I don't live with my fiance. I'm so excited to live with him and start a brand new chapter of our lives AFTER we are married
I love this... My husband and I also waited to live together until we got married and I don't regret it at all!
You always make me feel so motivated to be a good woman to myself, my family, my future husband and God. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I also had a long distance relationship ( OK and TX) for almost a year and a half before we were married. We chose not to live together and chose not to have sex before marriage. It was such a great decision. Our lives did change drastically. My husband had been married before so our lives also changed drastically the day we got married. I became wife and stepmom all in the same day. My husband and boys also had to get used to having someone around again and they welcomed me into their space. I am so thankful for the relationship I have with my husband and boys. We have been upfront and honest with them about chastity and living together before marriage. I hope that they see a Christ centered marriage with us.
Treats the microwave...... Didn't even think of that (insert laughy cry-ey emoji)
Ya. That can be a bad one.
I know! Hahaha. I was like wait what?!
Watching your videos really helps remind me of who I am and what the big picture is. They help keep my focused and remind me that I am loved by God, that I have dignity for just being who I am, that a relationship status doesn't define my worth, and doing things God's way is always worth it. Thank you so much!
This means a lot, Katherine. Thank you for telling me! You keep your heart up!
I'm not a very religious person Emily but your videos bring so much joy to my life it's unbelievable ❤
It would be so interesting to watch a video about the differences in your cultures and how you managed it in the beginnings of your marriage. 😊
That is a great video suggestion! Thanks for the idea!
Gary Chapman (the author) supports getting married without living together previously
I love this video so much!! You are so logical and down to earth. Thanks so much for the vid.
I just try to relay these things in a way that makes sense - I'm glad that comes across! Thanks for watching, Jasmine!
+Emily Wilson You're doing a great job 😘
Emily, I've been single for 10 months now. My ex boyfriend was an amazing guy but he totally did a 180° turn the last few months we were dating & I didn't know who he was anymore. We were together for 3 years & he ended up cheating on me & lying to me about it. He's engaged with her now & I'm not unhappy about it, but I'm scared. I know not every guy is like him or will be like him but I'm still very scared. I've never had a marriage to look up to & marriage is a scary thing to me now. I've grown up with my parents fighting all the time & hating each other. All the marriages in my family are the same-they're together but they hate each other. My uncle is never home & cheats on his wife all the time & drinks & doesn't care. My dad is honestly the least bad out of all the men in my family but he still treats my mom like garbage. I grew up watching them fight & yell & throw things & curse at each other & take it out on me & my brothers. I'm so scared that will happen to me. What if I end up marrying a man like my father? What if everything is well in the first 5 years & then he changes? I'm so scared & I find myself getting a hardened heart. I don't want it to happen to me. I want to be happy in my future marriage. So many men are begging for my attention & asking me on dates but I've said no to all of them because I'm scared. I know I should get over getting my ex but I loved him so much & as stupid & cheesy as it sounds, I don't know how I could love someone else. I've never admitted it until now, but I'm so scared. I know God has someone special just for me & I seek the Lord daily & I am so in love with God, but what if the man has for me changes? Marriage scares me so much. My mom & my aunt always tell me to be careful the man I marry because I'll never know who he really is. They always tell be to see the red flags & not to cloud my vision. They always tell me to not let my guard down because that's when the real them will attack. They always tell me to be careful because I could get trapped since marriage is lifelong. I don't want to be trapped like the women in my family. I love being free & independent but I would want a husband to let me do that, if that makes sense. Sorry if none of this makes sense, it's 3:52 am lol I hope you read this...how can this fear leave my mind? It's killing me.
Roxxie Dymond I’m in a similar situation now. Before I was so eager to get married and thought nothing could go wrong. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve looked around at my family, friends, and other marriages and have realized that it’s not always what it seems, happy long term. It scares me too, you’re not alone. So many people in my family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc all are unhappy or on their 2nd+ divorce. As one of the only christian women in the family who values marriage, it’s scarring to see so much hatred and change from partners. Partners can turn on each other in an instant. Despite this, my advice for you and I is to look to God. My teacher married a man who ended up being abusive towards her. On their wedding day God told her not to marry him but she did anyway. They divorced years ago but the lesson remains the same. God speaks to us all the time. If you feel your engagement/boyfriend isn’t right, you should listen to what God is trying to warn you about. God is looking out for us and in the end it will work out, maybe not the way we want, but it will for the better. So, I would say to trust and listen to God. Also, take it slow. Many relationships don’t last long today because they try to take on a married couples life when they aren’t actually married. The truest test is resisting temptation, if your relationship from the very beginning is based solely on God and you two’s love, it won’t fail.
For example, by not having sex, children, living together, etc. before marriage, you’re testing each others devotion to you and God. By your partner remaining faithful, you can see their true colors. If they don’t like what you have to offer during dating, it’s easy to leave the relationship when marriage isn’t an issue. I’m not condemning anyone here, I’m sure there’s a few healthy relationships that weren’t always godly, but often the marriages that don’t last are the ones who didn’t start off in God. I assume that most of your family’s relationships don’t and never have been revolved around God. So just maybe trust God that He has a plan for you, and remember that amazing things happen when He stays the center of your life! You might go through some obstacles, unfaithful partners, unhappy marriage, bad friendships, etc. But His end result for you is always good. Stay strong!
-Ella
I relate to this so much. I've never had a great example of what a marriage looks like. My mother and grandmother also tell me things to look for in a man and what to watch out for but I have to also realize and take into consideration that my mother and grandmother weren't waiting for a godly man. I refuse to settle for less and I want a god fearing man.
Hi Roxxie.. I'm not claiming to be a relationship expert or anything but any relationship /marriage will be what you both make of it. Both partners have to actively be putting forth the effort to be a good partner. Both of you will have to overcome pride/jealousy/anger and communicate your frustrations so that they don't build up. A lot of marriages fail because people forget that you have to maintain the friendship within your relationship. Marriages fail also because people don't try to fix things before too much damage has been done! Hardly any people who are divorced saw a marriage counselor, or sought help. They just went the "easy" way out and got divorced. As for your ex,, I would say be glad he is out of your life. He showed his true colors and it's better for you to know the person he really is. It doesn't look or feel like it now but you'll get over him, especially since you seem to have a close relationship with God. As for your concerns about future relationships, I would say to find a man that also has a close relationship with God. Both of you will have to actively want to have God at the center of your relationship because trust me, it's such a wonderful experience.
I agree with all the comments. As a 43 year old woman who's never been married. And I've been in bad relationships that were going no where right from the start but I choose to not listen to these warnings. One thing was, I was very scared of ending up being alone. Which was not true since Jesus is always there, even when I do not feel his presents. I learned that I sought out emotionally unavailable men. Ones who I thought were exciting and we'd have fun exciting times. Which was true but I was never at peace, I was always questioning these relationships and trying my hardest to give and give but these guys only took advantage. And praise the Lord I never ended up with any of them. Once I fully sought Jesus and looked at what it is I truly wanted in a husband that is when my standards changed for the better. Plus if I wanted an exciting life I did not need a man by my side in order to have that excitement that I crave so much. I started going out by myself as scary as it was and started doing things that I liked that made me happy. Plus I learned I was making marriage an idol in my life too. There were many many times I would cry tears to God and ask him for a husband. I learned that was a very selfish thing to do. That I already have a perfect relationship and that is with Jesus. I too grew up in a home were the marriage was not happy. And had no in real life examples of what a true God fearing marriage looked like. I still had examples but these were from books I read, old TV shows, and old movies that I watched. And I am forever grateful for these examples it taught me a lot and what to look for and that its not always going to be sunshine and roses. Plus I learned I needed to work on myself and ask myself questions, what is it in my life that I need to work on in order to be a God fearing wife to my husband? Am I willing to walk side by side with a man or is it going to be two separate people? Right now I am not dating and I am enjoy my single time because I can spoil myself rotten, LOL. And I have not dated in 16 years. I'm getting to know what kind of woman I am along with having a closer deeper relationship with Jesus, who I talk to all the time about my thoughts and struggles. I am so grateful for the single life that Jesus has blessed me with and I know its not going to last forever but I will be sad to see my single time end. It may not end in marriage and it may end with me continuing to be a bride and Jesus my continued bridegroom which is fantastic!
All I'm saying is learn what it is you truly want in a husband and never ever lower these standards. And one very important thing is having a closer deeper relationship with Jesus. I talk to him any time I want and he will never tell me to shut up he will hear me no matter what it is. I've talked about the same things with Jesus over and over where a person would get tired and not want to hear me anymore. That is what I love about my relationship with Jesus and I do cry out to him all the time went things are so tuff that I hurt. And beg and plead for his arms around me while hugging and crying into my own arms because for me it is my way of also hugging Jesus back. I'm in no way perfect and never will be thanks to Jesus for teaching me what to look for and to look at the woman I've become with his help I know I am the strongest person I know and a very awesome lady too. And whatever happens in the future as long as I have Jesus he'll make my cross lighter. And he truly makes me happy because he allows me to be my true self. And the man who becomes my husband will 100% know right away that he will never have my heart the way Jesus will forever have my heart. This man will always be second in my life no matter what.
I love this video. It's so nice to hear from someone who has done this. The people saying its impossible are so loud, but I'm grateful for your perspective and story so that I know it's possible. Thank you!! Also, I really like the backdrop it's super pretty❤
Can you do a video about tips on great communication while dating and in marriage
Just want to say what a great job you’re doing with this channel. You are really helping people. Thanks for helping to frame godly mindsets.
I appreciate that Heather! Thank you!
Can you do a video on communication and how you guys go about it, especially after living together?
Also I think it would be cool if you made a video that goes more in depth of the challanges (nothing to personal, no one wants to pry). I feel like you talk a lot about the benefits of your lifestyle but I would also like to hear about some of the challenges because I feel like to make this decisons one should hear both sides. Also I am not talking about the social struggles with other people because I think you cover them well but about challenges inside a Christian relationship like yours or possible challenges with the partner.
This video describes my situation perfectly! My wedding is next year and waiting has been difficult but I'm SO excited for all that is to come once it comes time to actually move in together after the wedding. I feel people who live together beforehand lose all that excitement. I can't even imagine coming home after your wedding to the same place you've been living in together already. Can't feel the same at all! Thanks for this. Love your videos.
“Thankfully Daniel is not a Toyota”😂love this! And thank you for making this video, I’m blessed by it.
Thank you for making these videos. These things are convictions I have held prior to dating, and now that I am dating it’s difficult to explain why I want to continue to live this way. The world does not understand what marriage is, and your videos have definitely helped me explain better why I’m staying in my own apartment and not sleeping over and all that stuff!
Thanks for sharing! Not many people do this at all and most people who do move in together don't save sex for marriage, so I can see how that can be a big factor into it
Everything you have with your husband is everything I've been wanting my entire life. Please pray that I find it soon!
Totally agree with everything you said in this video! Me and Mat live in the U.K., and since the average age of marriage here is like 31 for women and 33 for men it was super odd for people that we didn't move in together before marriage (as well as them finding it strange that we got married so much younger). I love that you focused on other reasons as well as just saving sex for marriage! - Est X
My heart just melts when you talk about this! Me and my boyfriend handle it the same and I just can’t wait to experience all what you have experienced! Thank you for that amazing video and thoughts!
Thanks for sharing about this! It has become so counter culture to do things in this order so I'll admit I've been a little nervous about our wedding and big life changes coming in June. Its great to hear people who do it this way still exist and are successful in the modern world.
This is more than Beautiful. :)
Thanks Jana :)
Emily, you always give such great advice. I myself am not in this position, but some of my friends are, so thank you for giving me advice I can share with my friends!!
Thank you for watching and for sharing! :)
Thank you so much, Emily for such an honest and wonderful video.
I am not very religious but I do believe in God and I find everything you say so right and how I feel it in my heart.
Thank you for being awesome and setting a great example!!
I really love your videos, there helpful and you seem so down to earth like a friend talking to another friend lol.
PS : I love we you talk about your marriage, I just love Love 😂❤
Thank you so much for this video!! My fiancé and I have been dating for seven years and we are waiting until we are married to live together and like you I am also very excited for all the changes that are coming our way. It is so exciting to think about all the new experiences that we are yet to have. Everything will be different as we learn from each other and grow together with God ❤️
Thank you for sharing your insights and your experiences about waiting till after married to move in together. I am from the Philippines, in our culture we believe in moving in with your significant other after marriage. I will stick to that! I think there's something special about waiting till afterward. :)
Marvelous video! I can’t believe you posted about this topic because I have been wondering about this for a few weeks now!!! 💞🙌🏼 thank you so much!!!
You are welcome!
I’m not in a relationship or engaged, but I’m very anxious about finding those little annoyances and habits that you don’t see prior to living with someone. What was your experience with this? How did you discuss certain habits that bothered you?
Marissa hopefully when you're in a relationship you have a bedrock of good communication, mutual respect, and selflessness to use for stuff like this! Me and my husband didn't live together before being married, and when issues came up (and come up now!) one of us will explain to the other how that behavior makes us feel, and talk about how we can move forward.
Marissa p.s. also, the things that annoyed me most when we were first married arose mainly from my own character. I used to be frustrated with my husband because I felt he was doing things too slowly or not working things out fast enough, and really, that was the result of my own pride and impatience. I found that thinking time about *why* things he did annoyed me helped me to see the real issues.
Yes, I would like to watch a video about it.
There will always be this that can annoy us. You will most likely have things you do that will annoy someone else. You learn communication and grace...it all works out when God is the center.
Beautifully powerful message!
I really liked how you out across your choices in a real and non judgmental way.
Thankyou for making this video! :D Great explanation!
Thanks Sophie!
I loved you thought process and how you take marriage so seriously! It's beautiful!
Awesome video Emily thankyou so much for encouraging and inspiring us!!! :) God bless!!
Thank you!
Thats awesome. Congrats on yalls wedding and faith in God. I love, love seeing this. :)
Such heartfelt and valid points, thanks for everything you do Emily, mwah 💋😁
Girl, I’m so grateful for you
You’re so inspirational to me! Thank you for sharing this ❤️
Thanks Holly!
Your talk was so beautiful! Thank you!
Question: Do you have any suggestions for how young adults can find good, Godly future spouses?
Be the person the person you want to be with would want to be with. Find implies looking. Don't worry too much about looking. He's out there, just be the best version of yourself you can be and you'll find someone special. Oh! and pray for him.
What languages does Daniël speak?😁 I am so happy that you and Daniël are happy, Emily xx
Dutch, English, some German I think?
Hi hi😍❤️❤️❤️my family and friends tell me those things 🙄but I want to honor God with my life and my relationships💛
Absolutely BEAUTIFUL explanation!
Wow!!!! So succinct, so sweet. So true
You are such an inspiration😍 This video has opened my eyes in so many ways❤️
This is an awesome video. Thank You so much for sharing your point of view!
This is the most sane thinking. That's why I dont want to live with anyone before a wedding and that's what my parents did too.
How he treats the microwave😂
My husband and I were married six months ago and did the same thing. It was the best decision we've ever made. People who don't understand what it's like to live and hold standards like that always view it as a bad decision to factor religion into dating choices and to not live/sleep together before marriage, that you're suppressing yourself and one day you're going to let it all go and go nuts. But because they've never lived it they can't understand all the amazing benefits that come along when you live you life that way! I'm so thankful that we lived that way before marriage because we have the blessing of a large amount of self-control that has saved us from so many fights and misunderstandings. Self-control is never something that you'll regret later, it only makes you stronger
I love your videos! Thank you so much for your example ❤️
“Thankfully Daniel is not a Toyota.” ❣️❣️❣️
Was it a whole new world?
Yes. With a new fantastic point of view.
TRUTH!!!
love this. thank you for sharing and encouraging us :')
Love this so much 😊 thanks Emily!
Amen, sister!! 💗💚💗💚💗💚💗💚💗thanks
Yes yes yes thank youuuu
I appreciate this so much.
AMEN! Why would I want my day after the wedding to feel exactly like the days before the wedding? Honestly, why even get married at that point? Living together before the wedding robs the glory and beauty from the sacrament of marriage that it rightly deserves.
so good!
So good.
the last wedding I was at, was lavish and glamorosus , fairytale location and all that but I noticed that the bride and groom were never joining in together , taking part in 1-2 dances and were off doing their separate thing and it puzzled me... I guess that living together was a common thing and the excitement wore off long time ago
I love your videos
living with someone before marriage is like...nonexistent where I'm from
Sophie C where are u from? :)
This is so sweet
Would it be an option to live together if there were other people around (eg. family members or room mates)? I mean would it make living together less tempting?
Podrías hablar más despacio para poder entenderte los que hablamos español
how did you get so smart. your parents must be great. you're so whole.
I really hope i can see you at steuby i wish you were going to steuby mid America