My Eating Disorder Story: Anorexia and Bulimia
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- Опубликовано: 17 июн 2024
- This is my story about my eating disorder and how I recovered. I’m opening up for the first time and sharing the pain and sadness I experienced for years through starvation and bulimia followed by food addiction. But there is hope. And I’m living proof that life is beautiful, and you CAN get through it.
If you, or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, here is an awesome resource for support, treatment options, and many eating disorder-related resources:
National Eating Disorder Association:
800-931-2237
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
PS: I always get a ton of requests when I post photos or videos with the heart canvas that's in this video, and while we purchased this one several years ago, here are a couple of similar ones:
rstyle.me/cz-n/eifiq8zrwe
rstyle.me/cz-n/eifivgzrwe
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The anorexia to bulimia dilemma is such an epidemic that isnt talked about as much as it should. You're either labeled as a bulimic or anorexic, but they are so intertwined.
Kaity, in DSM V both disorders are defined based on the food behaviour during the last three months. Yes, one can start just restricting but then (and hear this quite often I believe) binging +/- purging adds to the pictures. Once you hit the 3 months mark, that person is no longer anorexic in psychiatric terminology but a bulimic/binge eater. Seems like it often starts as anorexia and then transforms into other eating disorders... Also personal experience...
i never knew until it was me,i thought i was a anorexia failure
i believe it is talked about, though it isn’t represented accurately on our media. a lot of people think that an ed is exclusively anorexia & people who do have it, have to be the most severe case of it. therefore, whenever someone shows signs of restriction, especially people who are “normal” or “overweight” ,a lot of us just brush it off. i often see representations of eating disorders on the internet & it makes me upset witnessing people looking in the mirror & seeing themselves as obese or overweight, or consuming a high amount of food & crying. it’s the way they only show the surface of it, there’s so much more depth to eating disorders & only showing things on surface level will make people who are begging to struggle or just regular people not fully understand what an eating disorder is. i believe that’s the true issue here.
@@beverleysteele1106You aren’t alone. I myself felt like a failure when I got help and was forced to eat. I understand
I would say I'm both
You have no idea how much I needed this. When I searched ‘anorexia story’ I had hoped to see a series of photos of seriously underweight girls just to emphasise the feeling of inadequacy and push me to breaking point, to tempt me back into restricting food and losing weight. In watching this video, I suddenly feel like a weight has been lifted, its like someone else understands and I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
thats why i search that up
ruclips.net/video/ZOX2eg1nfAs/видео.html
Hey, it’s been 3 years. How are u doing now? Fellow ED sufferer here.
@@softieartsydork Hey, thank you for checking in. I still have relapses and struggle with restricting sometimes. But I am slowly repairing my relationship with food. I have recently started working with a therapist and she has helped me so much! It’s tough, but there are more good days than bad now 😊. How are you doing?
Heidi! I never knew! I remember in HS how small you were and I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder, but I always said to myself there was no way. You were so “healthy” with all the activities you were involved in etc. But more than anything else, I remember how kind you were to everyone. You were the nicest person in our class for sure! Thanks for sharing your story. I know it will help many people. 💜💜
Jaime! You have me crying over here 😭 Your words truly do mean the world to me... thank you so much 💜💜
@@HeidipowellNethey my name is Selena and I'm from linton Stockton high school and I'm in a class called nutrition and we watched your video about eating disorder❤
You were not selfish , you were sick . Dont be hard on yourself , this is disorder not a choice ♥️
I appreciate this post so much.
Thank you ❤️❤️
@@HeidipowellNet thank you for your shareing your story I’ve never had Ed, but one thang that’s on my mind , there’s is a RUclipsr Eugenia cooney she plays off that she’s fine but looking at her will make you cry 😢 if you can look her up and try to help her every one on her RUclips channel comments begging her to get help before it’s too late I’m worried that she won’t make it long if she doesn’t get help fast .
@@HeidipowellNet one more thang I’m gonna look up Eugenia cooney and try to plea with her to get help .
@@carriemoorehead3973 Eugenia really looks sick.
ruclips.net/video/ZOX2eg1nfAs/видео.html
I burst into tears from minute 17 onwards... that's where I'm currently stuck and I can totally relate to hating the purge and being addicted to the emptiness...
Hi love I beginning to share my journey if you were interested in watching:)
Please please please I beg you, just ask for help, that will help you trust me I went through that time and it sucks and I just hated my life back then, but right now I’m living my life that I deserve. Remember all of us deserve to live a normal, happy, amazing, wonderful life, I love you and you are not alone♥️
@@Asmaa-mm7mu it doesn't tho.. its been 2 years and therapists dont help, parents dont give 2 fucks, i gained 20 pounds...
@@Njx063 and what’s the problem with gaining 20 pounds?? You didn’t just gain your weight you gained your life back, your happiness so do your health. Just look for the positive side darling, don’t let that sound inside your head chose how you live your life. You only have one life ,so if you chose to listen to that sound you will lose. And how your parents doesn’t care? All parents care about their children and hope the best for them. I want you just to think positive darling and god bless you!♥️
@@Asmaa-mm7mu Intuitive eating with a health coach's support has changed my life. I gained 30 lbs. but I'm free. I no longer obsess about food, restrict, have rules and focus on my size. I'm healthy as I eat and move in ways that support my health. We are more than our pant size.
I agree that it's not your parents "fault" but gosh at 8 years old I wouldn't even have the vocabulary or conception of some of these ideas like feeling "fat" or "thin" in a leotard wasn't even in my consciousness at that age.
i weighed myself after moving to america when i was 8. in the country i lived in before, we measured in kgs. i didn't know there was a difference. i weighed myself and i was 60 lbs. i thought i was 60kgs, which happened to be the weight of my overweight friend back then. thats when my body image and food relationship problems started
I am now 65.
Omg you are telling my 4 decade eating disorder story.
Thank you for your share 🙏🏻❤️
My ED was my oxygen. The only way I could survive in this world I was not prepared to face.
I was a restricting anorexic for my first 7 years of my ED which started my senior year of HS.
I made it through college.
I became an RN. This is when the purging started.
I wanted to be a part of our nursing potlucks.
I panicked after eating a chicken wing.
I remember my grandma always telling me that if I eat something that upset my stomach It was OK to throw up.
I went to the hospital BR and my 4 decades of purging began.
I changed to Anorexia subtype BP.
When I binged I was eating all my feelings for that day.
When I got home I would purge all the food which equaled my feelings and the people I was upset at that day
because I did not know how to express my feelings.
I would cry when I was binging. I felt like an alien landed in me and I couldn’t get away.
I had to purged every morsel of food I ate. This was such a great release of emotions.
Fast forward to today with many years of therapy I have been able to free myself from this alien and
my ED.
I love my life. I am about to retire from nursing in 4 years.
Blessings and prayers to all who are going through their own journey with an ED 🙏🏻❤️
Omg my story sort of, I turned to drugs and alcohol for a cure, my name is also patti with a y. I am also 64, march 14.
@@PatriciaGodboutArt I am also a March baby. March 1st😊
@@Nk-en9nc You are so welcome 🙏 ❤
Wow. As someone currently suffering from anorexia that made me cry. I’m proud of you for getting over it, and I hope to be like you
Thank you so much for sharing this, it's so recognizable to me so for this moment I feel less alone. I'm 43 and struggling with food and my weight since I was 8 years old. Everything you describe, I went through it and still. Wishing you all the best from the Netherlands
Thank you for sharing your personal journey. You’re so brave to do this.
Thank you so much. Your story is our story, so damned precious✨❤️
Thank you for sharing this powerful story. I’ve been through this too long n my youth and I agree there’s hope!
This video hit home! I see myself so much in your story and it is feeling so comforting. Thanks
Thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us and for being so vulnerable and open. You’re helping so many people by doing this. I can relate so much to you saying your day was just about your disorder. Thank you again this was very helpful. Love you 💕
So much of your story is a variation of mine. Thank you so much for this vulnerable video, and I’m so happy of the progress you made.
This genuinely made me cry. Thank you for helping me not feel so alone.
Wow. The fact that you'd share your story means so much. Thank you.
That was powerful! I'm struggling.right now trying to recovery yet again. I needed this.
I appreciate this a lot. I'm in recovery now, thanks for sharing and for being and inspiration
This video is helping SO many young people like me. Thankyou so so so much for opening up about this situation. That’s all I can say, Thankyou.
Thanx for this, you told this really well & you're stunning! Hope you stay on the road to recovery 💪
i can relate to this in so many ways. even though i am only 14 i have been struggling for over a year now and i don’t know how to get help. being a dancer, i have always felt that i’m too big and i don’t have the body everyone views as pretty. this ed has been the hardest thing i’ve ever gone through and everyday i just wanna starve and be skinny, but all i can think about is binging. i wanna recover but i’m embarrassed to ask for help. thank you for motivating me to get help and for making me feel less alone❤️
Kylie, you are not alone. The worst thing is that it should be ssssooo much easier, by now, to ask for help. It takes time but you can get there. Reach out. Stay strong.
All dancing bodies are graceful & beautiful shine on
Please know that you can find help and peace in Jesus Christ
Please do ask for help. It’s not your fault...it’s a mental illness/disease, and 60% of cases are hereditary. I know you feel ashamed, and like you’re not ill enough to deserve help, but that is actually the disease talking. You can overcome this. Be well sweetie.
Dont be embarassed to ask for help, it it better also to get help when you are under 18. Sad but true! Ask for help and speaking as a professional dancer seek help asap as you dont want this to affect your career!!
Damn, this was so helpful and inspiring. I am struggling with bulimia for too many years and learned so much from you.
Thank you! 🙏
AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING ON THIS!
This helped me so much tonight after my first purge in a year. It helped me get my head back on straight and see clearly again. Thank you so much.
Heidi THANK YOU so much for sharing your story. You are just so ‘real’ and I commend you for being open, honest and vulnerable ❤️😊🙌👏👏👏 being a strong woman is not always easy, so good on you for working on yourself and in the process helping others xxxxxxx 😘
this made me cry, love you so much sister ❤️
Heidi - Thank you for being so open and honest. It’s not easy but so many people can appreciate you being detailed with how it was for you 💖
I connect to your story so much! Especially the toilets and the purging. The feeling of the release was the high for me too. I’m so thankful I’m past this way of life. It was horrible.
This is powerful. As an educational psychologist it’s empowering to so many women to hear your story. Our young girls starve themselves in search of the perfect body. Thank you for sharing.
I hope my story is able to help as many young girls as possible 🙏🏻❤️
@@HeidipowellNet it actually triggered me because I came here to make sure I ate but instead I started restricting sorry
@@Michelle-ye3hd agreed!
as someone who is currently struggling with hardcore bulimia i just wanted to say that this is amazing and thank you so much for sharing your story you are so strong and such a great role model for people struggling with eating disorders. literally crying rn
TY, Miss Heidi! I appreciate your vulnerability. The manner in which you articulate your story, helped me comprehend and find sense of elements of my own past. You are a GEM💎
from all the eating disorder story videos ive watched so far, this one was the more beautiful and touching. im so happy for u and i find u so strong and powerful
I love you for this ❤️ feeling that you are the only one is really hard. Hearing how deep it got for you helps me with the shame I feel for it. I have told people before and never received any help. I will check out your links thank you!
Wow courage is a word that comes to my mind and I am grateful for u posting this . Working through an eating disorder as well . So ty for sharing
Being 33 myself, I seriously appreciate hearing another adults experience and perspective re children after our and through our ed. Thank you!
Wow...what a raw, honest, vulnerable video! This is so needed. Thank you!!!!
This is one of the best videos ive ever seen!!! Ive struggled for many years. Thank you soo much!!!
Great video with many valuable insights. Worth saving the link and watching again!
As a former addict, whenever I go back home I do the same thing where I associate certain places with my experiences there. It's always kind of a sad reminder because it's like there's pieces of my dark past sprinkled throughout my hometown, which in a way taints it for me. Fortunately though I live somewhere else now because of my job so I don't get those painful reminders too often anymore.
Same here. So many areas are tainted for me
Such an inspiration! Thank you for being you! Don't forget, you are enough, Heidi! You are brave and special!
Thanks Heidi for sharing your vulnerability and story. This made me 😭
I don't like the feeling associated with binging/purging so sometimes I choose not to eat main meals. I know I shouldn't. Hopefully one day I will l love my body the way you have embraced yours. Thank you for being a ray of light and a beacon of hope.
3 minutes in, you're such a good person. Thanks for your existence
I tore my ACL too, and I experienced exactly the same though process as you. Your whole story is almost identical to mine, and you have no idea how good it feels to not feel like I'm insane or alone. Thank you so much you have sparked motivation back into me again to get better.
Thank You!!! I couldn't agree more about always being an "addict" and battling an eating disorder. I'm 42, spent 2 years as an anorexic and 11 as a bulimic. Still have moments of struggle. Thank you for sharing your story!!! It's very difficult for outsiders to understand sometimes. I appreciate you sharing!!
You’ve helped me so much. I am in the recovery process. I have to say, watching your journey motivated me to continue on the recovery path. Thank you. It brought me tears of joy. May god bless you 🙏🏼🙏🏼💕💕💕
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am grateful for your vulnerability, honesty and advice
I’ve made it through your story and my heart breaks for little kid Heidi. I’m so sorry you suffered like that, and you didn’t have the resources and knowledge you needed to recover at that age.
🥺🥺
I finally felt strong enough to share my story on YT recently as well. It's so hard to get that point! Be kind to yourself after uploading this, it brings up A LOT!
I thank you telling this story with each other and uploading it online; it was incredibly helpful! Anorexia has the strongest fatality rate of any psychological disorder, and the most of recovery options are unreliable. Both you and your family have my heartfelt thanks and blessings!
Heidi, THANK YOU so so much for being so brave and sharing your story. It takes so much strength for being vulnerable. As for someone who’s also struggled with Anorexia and Bulimia for 15 years (and still currently struggling with active behaviors) your story has touched me. I’ve never related so much more than hearing your story. You bring so much light to such a painful addiction that so many people who “praise” this disorder. We need to kick the diet mentality and focus more on ourselves and stop focusing on commenting on body/beauty tips and put more focus on who we are as humans and the good we can do in this world. You have such a beautiful heart.
Thanks for sharing, I have suffered from bulimia and then restricting at times for about 7 years. Thank you for this video... much love to you and your family ❤
Your story is the exact same as mine
This is very much similar to my story. The only times in my life that I have not fought my eating disorder was when pregnant or nursing. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to hear your not alone in this as an adult. So often it is seen as a "teen thing". Sad thing is it never goes away. I am 40 and still relapse.
Wow! Shocking! I didn't know this about you. Now I love you even more! You are amazing!
Just thank you, from the bottom of my aching heart. 💖💖💖
Brave woman….wishing you all the best!
So informative and helpful! Thank you for sharing your story Heidi1 You are helping so many! You continue to inspire me each and every day!
Heidi, this literally made me cry so much!! As an 19 year old girl in college who also has/had perfectionistic tendencies, I can relate to so much of what you spoke about, especially when it came to feeling the need to be the lightest/smallest in the room. I was diagnosed with anorexia at age 12 and had to go into intensive treatment. I am now doing much better, but can still find myself struggling with dysmorphic thoughts and the urge to restrict myself. Thank you for inspiring me and for sharing such an important message. This has motivated me to continue to work on improving my relationship with my body and food and I cannot tell you how much I truly admire you opening up about your own personal journey. You have given me hope that I can fully get past this and go on to live a life free of ED!!! Always have loved you and looked up to you. Xoxo
Thank you for sharing ❤️ your vulnerability is beautiful
Thank you for sharing your story. You will help so many. ❤
Heidi.... thank you SO MUCH for this.
Truly. Thank you 💜🌻
You are so welcome 💜
I’m battling anorexia, orthorexia, compulsive exercise etc….now. I want to thank you for being so transparent as honestly this gives me hope and makes me feel a bit less alone and ive been feeling SO alone. SO THANK YOU. I am so impressed at how far you have come and how open you are with everyone. You truly helped me so much tonight, more thank you even know. I just happened to find your story tonight and it is EXACTLY what I needed to see and hear. Thank you so much…..
This is so beautiful. Thankyou for sharing your story.
Thank you for this... I am in recovery for the 2nd time and I almost died last year because my heart was giving up on me. It’s not a glamorous “nothing is good as skinny feels” it’s not a trend to be followed. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. ❤️❤️
I’m so happy this is at the top of this search. I needed this.!!!!!
I'm so glad to hear that! ❤️
Your best video yet- so happy Chris was able to help you- thank you for sharing your story
Thank you! And you're welcome 😘
I’m glad it didn’t effect your fertility and that you were able to go on and become a mother.
you seem like such a kind and powerful
soul, i appreciate you so much thank you for this video
That's very sweet of you to say, thank you ❤️ I'm so glad you enjoyed the video 😊
You are so brave! This will help so many people and you should be so proud of that no matter how hard this was to share
You have me crying happy tears over here! 😭❤️ Thank you!
Thank you. This is so powerful. Exactly the message of hope that I needed to hear as I have recently discovered that my 16 year old daughter has been struggling with an eating disorder since 8th grade. Every other video that I have watched on RUclips has left me feeling more fearful and anxious about the disorder until this. Thank you for the message hope. You are so amazing. Thank you ❤️
Ugh, my heart breaks for your daughter and for you 😔💔 I am SO glad that I was able to provide you with hope.... that is all I could ask for because recovery TRULY is possible! ❤️
powerful. thank you, i needed this so much
You're so wonderful!!!! Thank you very much for sharing this was such a wonderful video and helped me to understand other aspects of my life I struggle with at times :)
This is a beautiful video, thank you for letting yourself get so vulnerable. What I loved most is that you mentioned you weren't EDUCATED. That really struck a chord with me. Educated about what food is, about how food works and how to emotionally handle food without having it control your self-esteem and self-love (it's no one fault of course, you can't come out of the womb fully educated!!!). As an teacher, I find this to be so important. I do have a few people around me struggling with eating disorders and with their relationship with food, and they all have different reasons why, different people to blame, or different triggers. But lack of education is the common denominator. I understand a bit more now. Thank you. Much love from the Canadian Rockies. xxx
Thank you for your transparency, this was so brave of you and I appreciate feeling “not alone”
I really appreciate that 😘❤️
Heidi thank you!!!! I had anorexia for 4 years. I am recovered now. You and Chris's show is one of my favorites. God bless you.
Congratulations on overcoming these challenges. It takes a lot of strength to admit you have an addiction and it is the first and most important step to recovery. Thank you for sharing this H👍
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that 😊
Bless your heart for sharing and helping others. Hope you are well!
Thank you Heidi..your passion for helping others shows - I see it in your speaking about this - thank you. It is a much needed discussion that so many are afraid to have...your beautiful beyond the physical.
I really appreciate that, thank you 😘
I hope to meet someone like you here where I am ❤ thanks for being here, thanks for letting your light shine
Wow Heidi, I connected so much with your story. When you spoke about the purging part and cleansing, I completely understood what you were saying. I am a recovering anorexic/bulimic/binge eater. I want to help young girls get out of this dangerous cycle. God bless ❤️
This was such a raw video I have never seen something like this
Beautiful vulnerability. You’re a wonderful speaker with a powerful story. You’re making waves around the world, ms Heidi!
Thank you. So much. Your words truly do mean the world to me. ❤️❤️
So brave of you to be open and honest! Your message is being heard by all of us who have had eating disorders and the more it is talked about the more it is addressed!
I really appreciate that, thank you! ❤️❤️
This video is everything. Thank you for sharing your story.
Oh thank you! 😊😘
Thank you Heidi for sharing! Wow, I went through alot of the same things, not to your extreme, but I was always thinking of food. I was obsessed! My dad was also very controlling, we had to think and act like him! It was destructive to me! Thank you again!
You're very welcome 😘 I hope it was therapeutic 🙌🏻
Thankyou for opening up Heidi, so much I can relate to. I feel no shame talking about my disorder because so many suffer from it. And you are right, it's amazing but you really do have it for life, even now as a personal trainer and an obsession with fitness, the disorder is always there in your mind, but it can be controlled with proper focus. Thankyou Heidi you're an amazing inspirational woman and iv followed you for years, I pray one day i could meet u, it's my dream xx
You're exactly right 🙌🏻 And that's incredible that you are able to be so open about it.... good for you! Thank you for the kind words ❤️
I lost too much weight too fast this year and for the first time in 20 years, people picked up on it. My hair is falling out, I'm cold, I faint easily, and now when I eat it makes me physically ill. At 37, I'm expected to dig out of this alone. We don't age out of it.
Thank you for sharing.
This is one of the best videos of this kind that I have seen on here! I think you are so reflective and insightful with your own journey because you have been processing your illness for many years now! Having this kind of distance actually makes this video less triggering than others and I thank you for that!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that ❤️❤️
ruclips.net/video/ZOX2eg1nfAs/видео.html
Thanks for sharing Heidi! I’ve been waiting to hear your story! I to am in recovery ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That's incredible! Congratulations! ❤️
This was such a great video, Heidi. I can really relate. I was never anorexic or bulimic, but I have wrestled with food and controlling food for years. It was worse in my early 20s before kids. I really appreciate you opening up and sharing. Thank you
Thank you! I sure hope it was helpful!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. My story is very similar to yours and I felt like you were talking directly to me.
That's incredible! I am so happy for you 😊❤️ Thank you for the kind words!
Thank you for this Heidi! It was so needed!
You are so welcome! I hope it was helpful 🙏🏻❤️
You brought me to tears. I’m trying to recover from anorexia, so I could relate to a lot of what you shared. Thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable and share your story.
I am praying for you Madison! ❤️ You can do this!!
Thank you for being so good of explaining those things and being honest..
I appreciate the kind words, thank you 🙏🏻
so so powerful !!! thx you for sharing your story to us. love hearing you talk ! you are so simple, so true... i love you !!!
You're very welcome!
This is so powerful and I am proud of you for posting! At the end when you spoke of your children and there being a good chance of 1 or 2 struggling at some point, I cried. I have ALWAYS feared having daughters for this very reason - I never wanted to walk down that path with them because I have been there. I now have 2 little girls and while my past is not nearly as tough as yours was, I struggled for many years and just the thought of one of them struggling breaks my heart! When you said, at the end of the day they are going to choose what they want to do, it makes me cry just typing it. It is true, and while I think breaking the cycle of my childhood in my own parenting will help - I really can't control what happens but that still makes me sad. Praying they learn from our mistakes and we can educate them enough so they don't have to suffer. Thank you for posting and bringing light to this subject!
Gosh, now you have me crying 😭 I couldn't agree with you more... the best thing that we can do is to educate them as much as possible and hope that they learn from our past. Sending lots of love to you and your daughters! ❤️❤️
This is an amazing story!! We all have been things that are difficult! Ultimately we are humans that's how it matters!!! Your an amazing person!
Thank you! Yes absolutely! 🙌🏻❤️
Not me deleting my history while watching this just in case! This was so on point thank you so much for the peace and safe space you’ve created through this video!
Heidi you are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your VERY personal story! God Bless you and your kiddos! ❤️
That is so dang kind of you to say... thank you ❤️
I didn’t know this about you. I thought I was alone. Thank you for sharing your story. Your vulnerability is inspiring. This video is filled with nuggets of wisdom. Much love 💕
Please know that you are NOT alone!! 💕 I hope my story is able to provide continued healing for you!