Miscellaneous Myths: The Theogony (Greek Creation Myth)
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2018
- Big thanks to patreon pledger Allen W. Barton for requesting this subject!
We've spent enough time dabbling in the greek mythosphere, I think it's high time we went back to the past and finally looked at how it all began…
PATREON: www.patreon.com/user?u=4664797
MERCH LINKS:
Shirts - overlysarcasticproducts.threa...
All the other stuff - www.cafepress.com/OverlySarcas...
Find us on Twitter @OSPRUclips!
Remember folks, if it looks like a swan, smells like a swan, and acts like a swan, it's probably Zeus.
Lmao
Or bull
(Sh#t)
Well done.
or a golden rain of shower
He can also look like your husband/symbolic representation of your husband
"Everyone has a place on the family tree. everyone."
Zeus: proceds to take up 75% of it
I tried to map it ALL out on ansestery and that is the case
Zeus, I invented these things called "pants". Keep it in there!
Zeke Ludlow 99%*
Alabama 10000
Zeus’ thunder c**k got busy
I do like how Aphrodite and Eros' origins are so inconsistent that even Mr. "I-will-make-it-work" Hesiod is like "Screw it, they're just going in the tree twice."
@@sniccups8390 It does make Red’s point about Hesiod’s world building more… humorous though. Very much a waste not want not scenario 😂
There are actually two Eros, the elder mentioned in this video and the younger which is Aphrodites kid
I think Eros arising when Gaea and Tartarus did makes sense. Because none of the other gods and beings would have happened without Eros.
When you realize Kronos mistook a rock for a baby:
I think after the first three just swallowing the whole bundle gets easier.
That’s funny but Chronos is the god of time, Kronos is the king of the Titans.
@@mirjanbouma that’s what she said
Well we already know he's not exactly Dad of the Millennium. Who's to say he even knows what a baby looks like?
@@guyman1009 Fixed, ty
Causes of problems in Ancient Greece;
5%: hubris
5%: prophecy
90%: Zeus refusing to keep his toga on for more than 10 minutes
Togas were worn by men in Rome. he would have worn something different. just saying
@@caitlinkuykendall6529 Chiton?
@@Skadi609 I think those were for women. I. remember its some very greek named piece or literally just a g-string for men sometimes called a codpiece
Muses from Disney's "Hercules": AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS!
Hey you try going for litterally all time without any entertainment. That shit would turn all of us weird
Zeus: "I rule the skies!"
Poseidon: "I rule the seas!"
Hades: "I... I drew the short straw."
More like " I rule the Underworld, i have a badass, loyal and beautiful wife who i love and respect, and i have a 3 headed giant dog BITCHES"
Actually, in some myths Hades tricks his brothers and ends up ruling over a territory filled to the brim with jewels and precious metals making him the god of wealth. Hell yeah
Hades chose the underworld on purpose
Banjo Billy Everyone becomes part of the Hades kingdom, aside from Gods
Hades: I GET TO HAVE A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP!
My favorite version of Athena's birth is when Zeus asks Hephaestus to crack his head open with a hammer. I bet he was quick to jump on that.
One year late, but Hephaestus was actually very hesitant to do that since he like his father a lot. He likes Hera a whole lot less though considering that one time he literally glued her to her chair out of spite.
@@claudiu-mihaipuiu1221 It all depends on which version you read. Sometimes he is fervently devoted to his parents, sometimes he cant stand them. You just have to pick and choose what you like with greek mythology.
@@claudiu-mihaipuiu1221 Isn't that because she threw him off Mount Olympus because he was ugly?
@@trevorhegstrom2816 Yep! Say what you want about Zeus, but I just can't sympathize with Hera. She's ranges anywhere from spiteful to down right cruel to her stepchildren, and drops one of her OWN children from a great height as a baby because he's UGLY?! How vain can you get?!
In some versions Prometheus had to crack open Zeus's head because Hephaestus might not have been born yet.
So if I remember correctly the only reason Hades didn’t claim his birthright is because he knew Zeus and Poseidon’s egos were entirely too large and if he didn’t want another war he might as well bite the bullet and draw straws.
(There’s also the fact the underworld is absolutely OVERFLOWING with gold, gems and other precious metals, and if those two found that out they would never do their job properly.)
The version I heard is Hades came up with drawing straws and rigged it so he got the underworld (least wanted) because the others wouldn't of done the job and ended the world.
And for the fact that, even if least worshiped, everyone would be under Hades rule eventually.
Hades always wins in the end.
He just also underestimated how long, boring, and unpleasant things would be until then.
@@danewardlocke9014 well I mean, he did get a wife pretty fast and seems well entertained enough.
@@zachjaeger6401
And he has a giant three-headed dog…Who’s also his 1st cousin (No joke)
I love how Khaos is literally the transparent grid background
Its amazing
It fits
Very fitting. And the shifting colours in it, brilliant!
It makes sense to not color him black because he's emptiness not darkness
@@agungpriambodo1674 exactly!
*Red probably while drawing the Hecatoncheires:* does that seem like enough body parts? yeah that seems like enough body parts.
so true
*Red getting fed up with drawing three hundred arms and a hundred and fifty heads on three bodies*: Fuck it, they have some on the back!
So THAT'S how you spell it! I should note that down.
IS THAT A MF LOCKSTIN REFERENCE!!??!1!ONE!!!?
@@federicospadafora6221 yup
4:45 That nod to Hera throwing Hephaestus off Olympus is funny. And is it weird that I find baby Ares being drawn born with a helmet adorable?
It’s just hilarious
I imagine he'd _like_ being drawn with a helmet honestly...being thought of as adorable, probably not.
@@balanc-joy9187 Actually Ares was often called very beautiful and was a pretty boy on the levels of Apollo so he might not object to being called adorable.
I’m some myths ares is the god of war and cheese :)
"Fear me, for I bring death and destruction!"
*[read in baby voice]*
I love the looks on the babies' faces as they get swallowed, like:
Hestia's just like "oop-"
Demeter looks disappointed like "Aw man, I JUST came out of the womb"
Hera's like "Meh I welcome death"
Hades is like "the FUCK!?!??"
& Poseidon's all "If we're getting diving scores I'm gonna fucking CRUSH it"
“Well time to eat this bab-“
* Poseidon does a perfect pencil dive *
they're all so cute fuckkkk
Imagine Hera being so pissed that she says:
"Dad should've swallowed you."
"Mum should have swallowed you."
"Don't you mean Dad?"
"I know what I said."
Zeus: “Maybe if _you_ swallowed my kids more often I wouldn’t keep running off with mortals!”
Dionysus created wine himself, Zeus has no choice in the matter
I feel like she said that on a daily basis.
0:56 so my family then
"Dammit, Cronus! I didn't raise you to chop people's balls off!"
"You didn't raise me at all."
"Hmm. Good point." _leaves_
How are you here? This isn't anime! ... I think
Darkgeasss I have come to accept that he is omnipresent, its best just to roll with it.
He is everywhere and nowhere at once. He is the question of Schrodinger’s Cat given life.
This isn’t for weebs ok i can leave bai
I thoug it was Kronos, or cronks not I thought Cronus was something else
Zeus really did learn the lesson from his father. Kronos ate the kids, Zeus ate the mother of the kids. Gotta respect his cleverness.
And it's kinda more humane
Zeus went straight to the source
"less than six" legs. i just assume there is a really obscure myth where he bangs something with 5 legs. and no one can convince me otherwise
Actually it's probably like 5 and a half because he cut half a leg off
likely a centar. With a cane.
There's your 5th leg :P
There’s Ganymede, and Pingas is sometime euphemistically addressed as third leg, and technically arms are legs too. 2(real legs) + 2(arms, technically legs) + 1(Pingas, euphemistically leg) = 5
Even Zeus is above banging insects.
@@ilovethelight777 Is he really tho??.. I mean..
"I successfully dodged the prophecy concerning my death at the hands of a child of mine.
Now i shall tempt fate by nailing everything that breathes."
"... that has sex legs or less"
including Zeus's aunt (Themis) and Gaia
@@agungpriambodo1674 Wait he did Gaia?!
Commentors:SO YOU LIKE NOT KEEPING IT IN YOUR PANTS AYE WELL WE WILL SHOW YOU OLD GOD!!!!!
@@agungpriambodo1674 I think you´re mixing Zeus and Poseidon up when it comes to banging Gaia.
Headcanon that Hades keeps his hair down in his face like that until Persephone convinces him that it looks sexy pushed back.
It was his emo phase
I honestly think it looks cute down
But I agree with Persephone
Maybe the Underworld is humid and his hair gets frizzy so he slicks part of it back with gel?
I smell Mean Girls-
MEAN GIRLS yes
It just occurred to me that, technically, doesn’t this mean that Athena is the oldest of ALL of Zeus’ children? Like, before ANY of the others were born, she was just tooling around in his skull?
Hey, there's a reason she's the favorite
Athena is indeed Zeus first born, but she was born from his head sometime later. Zeus first daughters were the Horae and the Fates (and also the Fates, if we ignore the most famous version where they are daughters of Nyx) trough Themis his second wife.
Imagine what that sibling reunion must have been like.
Zeus: "Hey, I'm your brother! Wanna help me beat up Dad?"
Hades, Hestia, Demeter, and Hera: "Is that a trick question?"
Poseidon: "Hell yeah!! Let's do it!"
I imagine first thing, they struggled to adjust to sunlight. They’d spent their whole life until that point in their father’s stomach. I just imagine Zeus had to drag all 5 of them until either they adjusted or they got somewhere safe
" Zeus No!"
"Zeus Yes!"
-80% of all Olympian Age myths
Vegeta no! Vegeta Yes!!!!
I'd say it's more 70% that, with another 25% being "Poseidon no!", "Poseidon yes!", & 5% other
I took this post from 999 likes to 1k... Is this the late equivalent of the stupid "FIRST" joke again?
2.5% hubris
*Zeus:* I get to rule over the sky!
*Poseidon:* The seas are my kingdom!
*Hades:* (happy introvert god noises)
A cool thing too is that the three brothers each have matching weapons:
- Poseidon and his trident, essentially a three-headed spear
- Hades and his bident (two-pointed), which throughout history kinda got bastardized into the devil’s pitchfork
- ...and Zeus with his lightning bolt, which could be thought of as a divine one-headed throwing spear.
@@kitcutting the strongest God has nident, which has 0 points.
Honestly same
Never thought of it that way! Huh.
Everyone in the modern day: Poor Hades, stuck with the sad boring Underworld. He really got the short stick didn't he?
Hades: Finally, I don't have to be forced to interact with people and have anxiety attacks.
@@CJCroen1393 and he's also the god of wealth, so guess who doesn't have to worry about his taxes. And also, no door to door salesmen. And he's got a three headed dog. Hades be living that fine life now.
I love how hades looks different from his siblings scince the begining, with the whole not glowing thing and actually having a color pallete and pupils lol
I think he's cute
@@superevilscientistgamer5939 I'll let you in on a little secret... We all think he's cute.
@@Phantom-qr1ug maybe we all identify with him?
@@superevilscientistgamer5939 Maybe, let's see here. Hades is:
- Mildmanered and softspoken
- Introverted and straight to the point
- A borderline workoholic (though not really by choice)
- A loving husband who always makes sure his wife is treated with the love and respect she deserves
- A fantastic dog dad
- The God of the Dead and King of the Underworld
If you identify with any of this, you might be right.
@@Phantom-qr1ug Hades is best god
4:46
Zeus: *visibly concerned about Ares being born WITH a helmet via natural birth for Hera*
Hera: Yo, this grumpy helmet baby dope as hell! Imma yeet this less cool baby.
I think he's more concerned about hera throwing Hephaestus
OH NO THE FIRE BABYYYY also when you loo at baby ares mouth it kinda looks like a cat mouth
I know there are some versions of the myth where she makes Hephaestus on her own without Zeus as revenge for all those kids he had without her.
@@karina_martinez420 in some versions Zeus kicks hephaestus off Olympus for some reason
@@wren_. it was because he disobeyed him and freed his mother
Gonna just say this.
Metus was destined to bear a child meant to overthrow Zeus First a daughter then a son. Zeus reacts by absorbing her. Zeus is now part Metus. Athena comes out his head. A daughter. Then later Zeus inadvertently kills a lover who has a premature baby as a result. He stitches the baby to his leg to help him grow.
So technically Dionysus could be considered the second child of Metus, as Zues it now one with her. And he's clearly a son.
So clearly Zeus I keeping the kiddo drunk, still trying to delay the inevitable XD.
I believe every word this man says because it’s exactly what I wanted to hear!
i love the mental image of Zeus realising this and trying to think of a way out of it before thinking "I know! i'll just get him so drunk he won't be able to think about overthrowing me!"
So let me get this straight...
Dionysus is kratos if zeus just gave him a god position and a baby bottle full of booze....
I mean, death and madness were a staple of kratos for like more then half the games just like the start of Dionysus mythology in mycanaya, and the dude even became a god in game one, just like Dionysus did.... what a coincidence
if i remember correctly, the orphic cults do place dionysus as zeus's heir.
@@Gondorian04 Zeus: gee I wonder how I can prevent the prophecy of my future son over throning me.
Me: DONT LISTEN TO GAIAS PROPHECY AND BE A GOOD DAD!!!!
That awkward moment when your son castrates you out of nowhere and a goddess is born from the remains.
#relatable
And the goddess of beauty no less
@@vasilisdouklias6992 Uranus (hehe) apparently sported a very magnificent dick.
IKR
Don't you just hate it whenever that happens...
@@SophiaLilithUwU
Guess you could say Uranus had a dazzling dong.
(A disarming dick?)
Maybe a set of bombastic and beauteous balls. Or perhaps some terribly terrific, triumphantly tenacious, tremendously transcendent testes!
I probably put way too much thought into this.
EDIT: Spacing
"Zeus proceeds to bang his way across the Mediterranean."
Literally Greek history and legend rolled into one sentence.
just the Mediterranean?
@@violetbean8928all the way to India which was maximum extent of Ancient Greek settlements
My favorite summarization of Greek Myth: "Unfortunately Zeus was horny"
My favorite version of the birth of Athena was one that one of my teachers told. In that one, long suffering Hera walked in and caught Zeus in the throes of passion with some pretty young thing. So, she busts him in the head with a rock. Thus splitting his head open and birthing Athena. It fits Zeus's modus operandi.
This is my new favoute
Imagine youre just having fun with a dude, discover hes married because his wife barges in, she throws a rock at him and instantly oneshots him and a fully armored child promptly bursts out his head.
@@BlueMiaou Bonus points if the protagonist is writing this down
So Athena's first memory is her father being assaulted by her mother, while her father was banging some other chick...
That's gonna leave a mark.
@@Sephiroth144 Man, imagine that. No wonder she stays a maiden goddess. Probably noped it immediately the moment she was “born”.
Dating for creation deities must be awkward:
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Kinda looks like we're the only things that exist in the formless chaos of the universe."
(Looks around) "Yeah, I guess so."
"Soooo... I was wondering, would you maybe want to create coffee, and then go for some?"
"Go where?"
"Oh... (self-conscious laugh)... yeah, I guess nowhere exists yet, huh?"
"Yup, just us and the primordial nothingness." (Equally self-conscious laugh)
"I know this might seem a little forward, but do you... I dunno... want to fuck the universe into existence?"
"Well (blushing) I mean, if you want too I guess we could... and then maybe then we could grab that coffee?"
"That would be nice."
This is my new headcanon creation myth.
How many universes failed to start up because the primordials just weren't a good fit for each other?
Frank Henchy Those bitter, frustrated creation deities might go a little mad after awhile, maybe start lashing out in anger at universes whose creation deities did get along. Obviously they’d like be immensely powerful, but hideous, beings... perhaps squid faces, countless tentacles, that sort of thing...
"fuck the universe into existence"
Rarely do comment threads get continuously better over time
Khaos: "I am literary THE NOTHING, how the hell did you guys just sprung out of me??"
Ghaia: "I have no idea, dad."
Khaos: "I'm not your dad."
Eros: "Well, it's not like we've got anything else to call dad."
Khaos: "But I am NOTHING."
Tartaros: *Emo sigh*
Khaos: "If I create like two more of you, will you let me be?"
Ghaia: "Will this mean I'll be the supreme deity then?"
Khaos: "I AM NOT A SUPREME DEITY, I AM NOTHING."
Khaos: *Takes a nap*
That's nice, buddy.
Head canon accepted
*E M O S I G H*
Khaos sounds like emo socially-awkward child, or chuuni weebs.
You know, I always assumed it was more of a mom than a dad. Mostly because it kinda birthed everything
I would like to imagine that Zeus wasn't going to be overthrown by Metis' child, Gaia just told him that because she loves *drama*
Perhaps if Gaia, instead of saying “Your offspring will overthrow you”, said “Don’t swallow your offspring”, this whole mess could have been avoided.
Hades: probably the only god with pupils
And a reasonable way of responding to things
coincidence? i think not
Yeah, I just now noticed that he and Persephone are the only ones with pupils.
and the only halfway-sane god, just halfway....
@@liammercado1235 Yeh, I hate when bad urban fantasy make him a devil 0_0
Zeus before: I’m going to save the world
Zeus Now: I’m the god of one-night stands
Well when you’re at the top of the world there’s no new heights to reach, so you gotta find a a hobby. Some take up golf. Others will pick up scrap booking or bird watching. And then theres those who pick up sex as their new hobby.
I don't even know if I would give him that much credit more like God of 1 hours stand. There are few instances where maybe he stays a little bit longer than that but it's usually because he's trying to cover up his affair
zeus before: "i dont want a -dog- human"
zeus now: "im the god of hospitality plz let me in??"
Imagine what could have happened if Kronos was actually a good father, and if he had just helped Rhea raise their children normally. Because Rhea definitely wanted raise her children normally.
So Uranos and Gaia could have just stfu and everything would be good, but Fates thought of an different scenario
@@dragonglass5650
I think they did that on purpose as retribution
This is just me talking though
@@isapu1948 Why'd they do it to Zeus too tho?
@@concept5631
Zeus didn't antagonise Uranus, Chronos did
@@isapu1948 Ouranos and Gaia told Zeus about prophecy, as they did with Cronus.
5:12, is no one gonna talk about how adorable baby Dionysus looks? Also the “welcome to the esoteric birth club” line from Athena is just amazing. 😂😂
I hope that sometime in the last two years you've seen their video on Dionysus / Zagreus.
Is it just me or is the way Red draws Hades looks adorable? He looks so shy and timid and... ugh, I JUST WANNA SQUEEZE HIM!!!
... Not to mention the chibi-baby versions of him and his siblings ( 3:14 )
xD
Glomp??
shquise his wituw cheeksh
Oh god so true
He's such a smol bean 🤗
@@rinsawerig4147 smol def god
Also fun fact: after Kronos ate the blanket covered rock, he forced himself onto phylira, a nymph. When Rhea found out, she walked in on him banging the nymph as a horse.... This resulted in the birth of Chiron
Edit: to clarify, Kronos turned into a horse halfway into it to hide from Rhea
?!?!
nice to be reminded Kronos wasn't that great a personality either
Yeah like father like son
@@agenttheater5 sound like Loki when he mothered Sleipnir
@@marseldagistani1989 *mothered sleipnir. Loki was a female horse at the time
All the babies in this episode are so cute, especially baby Hestia and baby Hades
Hestia the best goddess of the pantheon
Hades the best god of the pantheon
Y'know, I just thought:
What if Eros chooses to be reborn as Aphrodite's son so he can have more agency in the mortal world?
That way, he can both be a primordial force and a meddling god.
Came up with this after watching the Eros and Psyche video (primordial and/or younger) after the Typhon video (bigger/older = less agency).
Literally had this same idea! It would make sense, as his and Aphrodite's abilities seem to work well in tangent with eachother.
I always just envisioned them vibing so well she just adopted him or something and he was cool with it lol
This would fix it up because well Eros pretty much controls zeus and lots of other gods.
You're a genius. Do you mind if I borrow that take for the "The Theogony as a detailed, coherent, character-driven story" book I may write someday?
@@augustrempelewert4377 I think this has been a human concept for a while, now. Go ahead.
wait wait wait. So Zues actually REFUSED to bang someone? That is certainly an outlier myth.
kio kurashi did u notice ur comment has 69 likes
I think it's how Achilles happened, so yeah. Thetis was very obsessed with keeping her children safe.
Kio Kurashi
It’s just simply not true
The way I've heard it is that he was going to bang Thetis, but then someone else interrupted by telling him the prophecy about Thetis's child being stronger than his father, and Zeus was like "Welp, don't want another uprising. Sucks but I've got other options anyway."
there was this one time when he tried to seduce Asopus by oferring anything she desired. She asked for virginity HAHAHAHAHA she did the same thing to Apollo and the river Halys
I think I like the version where Zeus complains about his headaches to Hephaestus, who's immediate response is to crack over the head with a hammer and see what happens. That he just wanted to let some aggression out on his dad and he'd be in a lot of trouble if Athena didn't pop out so he pretend like that was intentional.
Ha
Hahaha
I also like this because it was found that during stone age "doctors" would open your skull with a hammer, causing the patient having a hole on the head, in order to heal headaches. Maybe that tradition got into Hesiod story one way or another
Noooo not a hammer why not a double headed axe.
@Ethan Wilde
That actually varies from telling to telling (but then so does every greek myth)
Okay can we just talk about how adorable Red draws Hades😂😂
Yes yes we can
How about we talk about how adorable Red draws EVERYBODY?
Hades is best boy
I kinda hate her design ngl. His chin is missing some hair
@@N.I.A23 When the Olympians first come into power it's probably like a old king giving power to his young heir(Or usurping that it is) and i guess Red draws them at a young age to specify that reason
2:53 The reason that suddenly monsters were now everywhere is because when Kronos castracized Ouranos, the magical titan blood spewing from the wound made everything come to life... literally.
Ever think maybe Zeus kept having kids because he noticed it was always the youngest child who overthrow their father and took over as ruler, so Zeus figure if he kept having kids he'd never have to deal with the youngest since that would keep changing?
Or, he could’ve just taken a note from James Bond and made it so he could never have kids well before Metis was pregnant. (And, y’know? Not eat her? Go on a constant raping spree? Be a serial adulterer?)
Super backwards logic. Of course it's the youngest child, because the father doesn't have any more kids after getting killed/mutilated.
Man, you changed the way I see Zeus
Abusing loop-holes, well-played!
@@clutchedbyanangel Yeah, but if you have a kid before your current youngest manages to kill you, you're safe from getting killed by your youngest until your new youngest is old enough to actually kill you. By that time, you can have a new kid to be the new youngest.
And given how prophecies work, this could be a viable way to keep himself safe until he eventually looses track of his youngest and gets murderized.
So...
The Hecatoncheires have 100 arms each
There's three of them
Imagine how spiteful it must feel to have three of your children flip you 300 birds all at once
looks like a spartan way of gesturing fuk u
A flock of middle fingers :p .
I died at the last part 😂 😂 😂 😂
Or to do 150 dabs at once 😎
@@jamesvalle9079 oh god I just thought of that and started dying of laughter for 5 minutes straight
As a wise man once said, almost all of Greek mythology happened because Zeus couldn't keep it in his pants.
Except that tiny little thing that happen because he didn't want to get involved in a dispute between his sister-wife, brain-daughter, and other-daughter/half-aunt-from-only-his-grandfather's-side
@@jordanfleming7022 I think uranos wants those back Aphrodite get your almost always uncovered butt over here
And Poseidon. Poseidon was also awful at keeping it in his pants, and this also caused many problems.
@@robinsuj I mean, that little event involved Zeus' Spartan, mortal daughter, so it also because he couldn't keep it in his pants.
And it will never have consequences.
Never.
Ever.
Sorry I just loved that Joke so much I had to repeat it
I love how some of the siblings at 3:41 have the classic varieties of “ready to throw hands” expressions-
And then there’s Hades like- *wallflower panic + “now perish”*
"all myths are true"
*Rick Riordan wants to know your location*
To be fair, at least Uncle Rick doesn't try to explain how all the Myths are possible in some nonsensical way. It just is.
thebeav PercabethFTW yeshhh
thebeav PercabethFTW I’m pretty sure his explanation is, if enough people believe it, it becomes reality.
@@thebeavpercabethftw9604 I remember Annebeth wondering how they manage to get the sea gods to all have power and Apollo talks about how the Sun moves, like 5 different religions and science.
I'm adhering to the headcanon that science is related to the Abrahamic religions.
@@artofthepossible7329 I personally believe Riordan just wanted to write more books about various mytholgies just for the sweet smell of dough. I am on that opinion because, perhaps its just me, but I do find the books after the Percy Jackson books not as well thought out or as interesting.
I remember having this assignment in high school of picking a story based on actual Greek myths and crafting it into our own versions.
In the one I wrote, I mashed together the Prometheus story and the bits about Zeus one day meeting the same fate as his father if he slept with the one woman that would bare the son that would defeat him.
Basically, he used the excuse of punishing Prometheus of stealing the fire and giving it to man to get information out of him, knowing that Prometheus knew the woman but would not give up her identity just like that. So, instead of just bounding and isolating him to a part of the mountain, he did the whole vulture eating his liver and shit every day to try and torture the information out of him. But to this day he never did.
I think I had it be that not only did Prometheus spark life into humanity, but became the symbol of that lone spark of endurance and hope it whatever I was trying to do with it.
I think I also snuck a thing of how Prometheus believed Hades was better than Zeus and bla blah blah to add some other stuff to it. I wish I saved it off of my school Gmail cuz that's probably in the wind now. Again this was from high school
Just a little side note. Atlas is the titan of endurance, not promitheus
I kinda want to see this as a book or movie.
I wish I had that assignment in school. It sounded fun.
I WANT THAT ASSIGNMENT 😭
This is almost identical to the version of Prometheus myth told by the 'Extra Credits' RUclips series
I love the part where Hephaestus was tossed away immediately after being born and Ares just being born as an angry baby with a war helmet already on.
“Did you take away his mini-sword?”
“What mini sword?!”
* gets stabbed *
Zeus:
“For the love of me, i have a painful headache! I guess the only solution is to tear apart my forehead!
Also Zeus:
“Athena pops out” Aghh! It hurts even more, I did not see that coming, who knew violently splitting your forehead apart would be extremely painful!
Athena:
Ummm... i knew that?
Zeus:
You are wise daughter of mine. You possess knowledge most of us do not understand, you shall be the goddess of wisdom.
Athena:
Everyone knows splitting your forehead is gonna be painful ,dad, why should i...
Zeus:
Shut up and fix my forehead! Oh and do me solid. Can you be a war god.
Athena:
But Ares is already a..
Zeus:
Thanks Athena! Now get me a medic!
And that’s how Athena became Goddess of Wisdom and war.
Yep!
Lmao
That literally was the story.
In full.
She embodied controlled strength. The strategic flipside to Ares' batshit crazy chaotic war.
i mean it isn't exactly in the Theogony but it seems plausable
I love how Chaos is just a transparent grid with the distinct outline of a person of indeterminate gender.
Just perfect.
Technically chaos wasn't a entity. It was "raw magic" I would say.
Don't forget that chaos is just the Microsoft paint background
should have made him gmod missing texture
@@raymundoruelas7896 that's because the Microsoft paint background is the aforementioned transparent grid, which shows up in every image software, not just paint
Honestly? Mood.
When Gaia warns Zeus or Kronos, they end up eating someone.
Gaia spends most of this video popping up out of some nearby bush to divulge prophecies and give quest hints
Ikr like literally stfu Gaia
@@llamasarethesuperiorspecie2681 That's probably why she doesn't do it again after that, and instead tries to bear children to overthrow Zeus...and gets accidentally impregnated by Hephaestus that one time.
@@HimanXK I'm 100% certain that she's just the DM's NPC ex machina
Gaia:
* sees typhon *
“I shouldn’t interfere”
i love how when kronos is eating his kids all the other gods look bored and Hades is just like
"wtf is happening I was just born"
“THE SHIT-“
4:45 oh no Hera casually throwing Hephaestus over her shoulder
Hers casually throwing the hearts of the people Zeus banged
Gaia, WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU EVEN ON???
*she smirks and closes her eyes* Why the side of SHENANIGANS OF COURSE!!!!!" *proceeds to dab across the universe for the foreseeable future*
Gaia: Yes.
I think she just wants the most interesting experience on her back.
(That sounded less sexual in my head.)
Considering she goes to war with the Olympians later on......she's on the side of chaos! (kind of logical if you think about it, I mean she was literally born from chaos)
She only did all that because she wanted to bang zeus
4:06 I love these younger versions of the Olympians (Mostly long-haired Demeter and beardless Poseidon).
I like emo hades...... Don't judge me
@@mohammedyousef4005 how can you not love that guy. Also he is the only one with pupils and a proper color scheme
I'm not expected to seeing and loving short-haired Hera
The fated son that never came almost seems like a convenient explanation just in case another, cooler god came in and was more popular than Zeus so they could slot him in without having to re-write the whole Theogony.
Man… the Christians missed out on the chance
thats why Kratos games were created
@@SirsasthNigam.Kratos is the right hand man in Greek myths. He is a real entity.
Khaos to Erebus: *Hello Darkness, my new friend...*
The more I think about it, the funnier it gets
Erebus: .... Why are you like this
@@LadyMythos315 Nyx: -fanning its cloak wide- I AM THE NIGHT
@@selenopheria Erebus: *faceplam*
Nyx: (to Erebus) Hello darkness my new husband
Teenage Hades looks like he needs a hug
He got eaten by his dad, barfed up, and then forced by his brothers to leave all his siblings to go hang out with dead people and demons. Hell yeah he needs a hug
@@cassie5248 from what I understand the reason why Hades spends most of his time in the Underworld is because he is actually doing his job.
Hades you need a hug
He does need a hug
"Why didn't we do this by seniority?"
Red's "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" at the end is the best part of this video
05:46 :D
are we all ignoring the cute baby gods at 3:14? Baby Hades is so cute!!
YES! They are the cutest!!
Agreed
lol Hera just casually tossing Hephaestus
as a gift, she marries him to Aphrodite
wait sorry that's a burden
@@agungpriambodo1674 She later cheats on him with Ares, he catches them in a net and drags them before the gods so that they may be punished but they end up getting away with it and then our poor man heaphestus just kinda goes back to his forge to do his own thing, and maybe he tries to rape Athena once but that's debatable.
@@thisrandomdude2880 and he fails, also he spews out his...um
on the ground and end up impregnating Gaiainstead
@@agungpriambodo1674 Yeahhhhh, I didn't want to include that cuz of the umm... but still.
Y E E T
I bet that Zeus attempting to bang every women in existence is probably Metis' messing with him subconsciously, as she hopes he will sire at least one heir to overthrow him and the Demigod or Demigoddess/Minor God or Goddess release her from his head. Either that, or Zeus just really needs to get his shit together...Take your pick..
Both. Both is good.
headcannon accepted
play god of war
@@Natketty Eh, true that.
There's also the theory that Eros is the cause of Zeus wishing to bang everything around.
4:14
I'd prefer it was by seniority too, Hades.
But then again, there are sources that sort the Olympians' ages by either when they are born and when they are regurgitated by Kronos.
Hades = Eldest child = Eaten first = Regurgitated last = Youngest child
No one:
Greek mythology: *sweet home alabama playing at max volume*
My Greek god oc who I have yet to come up with a name for while trying to map out his family graph: accurate
seriously this family tree has more inbreeding than the Hapsburgs
3:40 Hades looks adorable and he is the only god with pupils apparently
Sash Floofs What About Dionysus
@@questdix4067 he also have pupils
That just seems to be her way of drawing him, since he, Persephone, and Dionysus are the only gods in her videos that have pupils.
He’s a rebel and decided to have pupils
Makes him look more human perhaps.
The Theogony, otherwise known as: Hesiod's shipping book.
The Theogany, also known as Zeus's backstory and fuckery journal.
Can I just say I love the way you drew Hera in the first shot of the Olympian age. She looks like a confident 20 something, ready to take on the world, before her husband sucked all the joy from her life
I remember reading somewhere that Ouranos specifically trapped the Hundred handed ones and cyclopes in the place from where they came from(hint hint) and that it caused Gaia unimaginable pain (hint hint). In other words, THATS why Chronos specifically cut off his genitals. Also, Uranous is quite literally, the worst
The number one lesson to learn from Greek mythology is that if there is a prophecy that says your son/children are going to kill you trying to make sure the prophecy does not happen is a sure way to make sure that it does happen.
The number two lesson is never piss of a god
The number three lesson is never sleep with Apollo or Zeus
That's a good summary of, like, 37.4% of Greek mythology.
The number four lesson is that rulers of love are crazy(it makes sense).
The Metamorphoses aren't Canon, and they are the only real source for anti-Apollo cringe myths
@@DISTurbedwaffle918
With all due respect, I'm pretty sure there is no consistent canon for Greek mythology.
You can honestly try to avoid Apollo, (although it usually ends badly) but Zeus? Oh no man, if Zeus wants to bang you he's going to no matter what.
Let's say that Zeus ehm... Finds a way
PLEASE start a series called *Keeping Up With the Olympians* so we can see all the myths in chronological order because this content is too hilarious and this animation is TOO STUNNING to only be used in a six minute video.
fucking genius
YES
I would watch the fuck out of that!!
This is a great idea
Since I have been wanting to see a video on hades and persephone
Baby Hermes with his tiny feather bootsies is so cute jdsjhkhkjsds
5:45 Red starts singing, always the best part.
"you wanna know the names of all 500 Gods?" Hell Yes!
Kronos: Why would you do this to your children?
Zeus: I learned from watching you!
Ouranos : no no he’s gotta point
@@jacobsheehan9715 it's actually Ouranos but I realize how wrong the name sounds in the context
“Gods who eat children have kids who eat children. - This infomercial was brought to you by the Foundation Of WTF!”
Kronos: And I learned it from your grandfather
I remember reading a comic adaptation of this myth. There were two reoccurring lines:
"That's a story for another day," when they were foreshadowing another myth.
"He had too much of his father in him," describing Kronos, Zeus, and Ares.
5:55 . In a story I’m writing Athena is that “son” stronger than Kronos. Basically Zues assumed that only a boy could overthrow him so doesn’t bat an eye at Athena and actually dotes on her until it’s time for her to overthrow him , I thought it was a great concept
well she tried and failed so probably not.
TRANS ATHENA HELL YEAH
@@d4-v1d22 don’t talk to me
So... basing off of the comments..
Hestia- best girl, everybody loves her
Hera- The girl everybody either hates, feels sorry for, or is inspired by, the hottest of the sisters
Demeter- Demeter
Zeus- Overprivileged child, loved by everybody in Olympus, but hated by the fan base, horny
Poseidon- Straight up malevolent, evil brother, the entire fanbase either hates him or is ambivalent towards him
Hades- Best boi, cute, mildly disrespected in Olympus, Hestia but male, almost every person in the fanbase attracted to men is attracted to him, said infatuated people also want to crank out as many of his kids as possible. Emo.
Did I get it right?
Yep!👍
@Proud Ravenclaw!
Hades was never banished. Its just that his duties are so time-consuming (what with humans dying all the time) that he doesn't really have time to head up to Olympos and see how his folks are.
Poseidon isn't evil, I would assume he just gets cranky. He certainly has far less of a temper than Zeus or especially Ares. Hades is the kind of dude who just really doesn't want to be there but he got roped into it and is committed.
@@banjobill8420
Oh no. Poseidon definitely has the worst temper by *_far._*
One time, he gave a fancy-looking white bull to Minos, king of Crete, and after Minos failed to sacrifice the bull to him like he promised, Old Seaweed cursed Minos' wife, Pasiphaë, to start lusting for the magnificent bovine. Soon enough, Pasiphaë made love to the bull, got pregnant and gave birth to everyone's favorite monster, the Minotaur.
Me: this summary seems a bit biased. Hmmm
*sees icon
Me: that explains it
aphrodite is stored in the balls
"love is what happens when the sea licks my godly balls"-Uranus
@@gabriel300010 The fact that Uranus says it makes it even better.
@@gabriel300010 lol
That's perfect
Cursed comment
Are we going to talk about how epic Hesita looked at 3:41. Like she is one of the most chill Olympians but she is giving me the look me in the eye and you have chosen death vibes.
3:42
Zeus: yeah I just freed you all
Posiden: I like where this is going
Hades: where tf is this going
Hera: oh god wtf
Demeter/Hestia: confusion
Family tree? More like family thorn bush!
Circular family thorn bush!
@@SennaHawx family 4d entangled net
Family moss
Family wreath
Worse than the Hapsburgs.
My head-canon is that Dionysus is Metis's second child. It turns out that you really should not sew a unborn child into your body when you have already subsumed the essence of the woman whose second child is destined to overthrow you. The two gods' portfolios are even complimentary.
Athena: reason, crafts, war
Dionysus: insanity, wine, parties
Zues's reign ended when Dionysus finally drove him insane and locked him inside his own mind.
So you're saying the party god will eventually rule olympus
@@oliveragag8576
*Dionysus after getting the Throne* - “Free margarita’s for everybody!” *Passes out drunk as hell.*
*Athena face palming* - “We’re doomed”
*Eris running in excitedly* - “Did someone say doomed!?”
@@todddempsey1277
Eris: Oh! HOW LONG HAVE I WAITED FOR THIS DAY!
*With that fool out of the way, and this buffoon in charge; My Job will be twice as easier, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CRUMBLE INTO GLORIOUS CHAOS*
*American Polotics came into existence*
Eris: *Muahahahah*
@@oliveragag8576 I'm sure Ariadne will keep him in check.
@@CJCroen1393
*Ariadne gently shaking Dionysus on the floor* - “Honey it’s time to wake up. You have to rule the world remember?”
*Dionysus* - “Okay sweetie 5 more mins-“ *BLEGH!* *pukes while lying facedown on the floor*
*Hermes sighing* - “I’ll get the Dionysus mop!”
4:11 I feel so bad for Hades because he's the oldest son but always treated as the youngest son. Also he's so adorable as an emo teen
Not sure if it’s in every version of the myth, but in the version I’ve heard, Chronos pukes the kids up in reverse order (so first in last out deal), and that counts as them getting rebirthed or whatever making Hades simultaneously the oldest and the youngest sibling, which makes the deal he got even rougher, poor guy.
@@lordofuzkulak8308 it's makes him the youngest son and will make hestia the youngest of them all.
I feel more bad for Hestia. She’s literally the first born and she doesn’t even get a straw because she’s a girl. Not to mention, and let’s be fair, of all the gods Hestia would be the best one to be in charge of the cosmos given her emphasis on positive values and track record of Zero controversial actions
@@johnmartin4119 well all that is fair I don't think she's ever depicted as having much interest in power
@@annawesometheflameingpikac3688 it’s always ironic that often it’s the ones least interested in power that are often the most worthy to wield
I love that "Oops ... I did it again!" plays when talking about the children born from Zeus' affairs 🤣🤣🤣
5:12 "Welcome to the esoteric birth club!"
This is one of many reasons I love Athena.
The way you depicted Zeus' headache was hilarious lmao
I’m with red we need an urban fantasy about Athena’s little brother who will overthrows Zeus and idk pops out of his brain like Athena or maybe some other unusual body part because when you think about theses myths as stories the conclusion is long overdue I mean when have Ancient Greek prophecy’s ever been wrong there just very vague so that kid should be out any day now
Plot twist: the little brother is trans, and thus nobody suspects (or believes) a thing until it’s basically already uprising time.
This video has actually inspired me to work on a graphic novel about this potential story! It’s going to take some time but I’m gonna try and put something out there! 😅👍
@@perihelionstudios7563 That sounds epic, I wish you luck in your endeavor
I hope something good comes out of it.
In another version Zeus turned Metis into an Oyster ate her and threw her up again when Athena was born. Unsurprisingly Metis dumped him as soon as she wasn't an oyster anymore and he still didn't learn anything. So no matter how ridiculous the details, Zeus remains a massive jerk in literally every story ever told about him. And all of them get so much better when Red openly judges him in her videos.
In another version they had a shapeshifting sex time, I don't know how exactly this thing works. When Metis took the form of a fly, Zeus turned into an ape and then he ate her
Zeus symbolizes what happens when you become a dad
the fact that she's an oyster just somehow makes it better
@@billpariss9559 I heard it was just a shapeshifting competition and he was a bird when he ate Fly!Metis, but hey, that's what happens when stories travel by word of mouth for several millennia
Ewwe
I imagine that the kids that were eaten then followed suit with Aphrodite and spent a few centuries trying to scrub the Kronos stomach stench off of themselves when no one was looking
True enough, but the smell from the stomach is probably worse
The idea of Athena's younger brother sounds kinda cool.
Like, I could imagine some modern God being spat out of Zeus's head, and him kicking the shit out of his old man when he realizes what happened to Metis.
Dionysus
3:40 That one moment where Kronos is puking everyone is hilarious! I love the OSP art style!!
"Having internalized the lesson his father failed to learn..." - Red, I see what you did there
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dohhhhhhhhh
GET IT
He INTERNALIZED the LESSON
How am I just NOW understanding that
I think I’ve got the joke, but not completely so could someone explain it to me?
I at least know its a pun.
@@todddempsey1277 it's because he "internalised" Metis.
1:37 It's time to awaken my masters!
*AYAYAYAYAYAYAYA*
Just let him man
Don’t be a jerk dude
You have brought many like yourself into being with your antics. Could you be of the Theology as well?
HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JAYJAY'S CRAZY JOURNEY REFERENCE?!!
Hello
How did you comment on both Lemmino and OSP so close in time?
3:41 I just noticed that Hestia looks really awesome in this picture.
It's oddly amusing when Zeus absorbs Metus (4:28) and quietly in the background... *HOOOOO HAAAAAA-*
“...this could literally never go bad for him ever,” **Shows Kratos** “EVEEER”
Yeah, Kratos!
*FORSHADOWING*
And now Kratos has a son. Dun dun duhhh!!
@@mcraig2465 But the end of the last game shows that this lad is gonna walk a very different path than that of his Greek ancestors, most likely as a result of his other norse half and of living in the norse world
Btw, did you guys know that Kratos was a minor deity in the actual Greek pantheon ? And by minor, I mean that he belonged to the very specific class of "concepts that were personified as vague deities sporting the same names". Think Nemesis being the representation of divine retribution for instance. And so, Kratos was originally the concept of physical might and power. Now y'all know why our favourite buff god-murderer was given that name ^^
@@Megalomaniac_Trans_Lesbian weren't he a representation of political power and one of the most loyal to Zeus gods?
Yah know Gaia seems like she just wants to cause some shenanigans.
Well she needs something to do
Her last kid Typheus is a real character.
He's the father of all monsters (well okay, not all of them, but most of the big names like the Hydra and Sphynx).
Well, when all your kids keep screwing you over or getting imprisoned you're bound to get cranky.
Her children ruined her marriage, so she keeps the cycle going.
Read Heros of Olympus you will be your answer