I’m an SP 9w1, and I don’t like collections of things. When I get too much of anything (like books, clothes), I give them away to make space. “Stuff” has a negative drag on me and feels suffocating. That said, I do have a collection of thoughts, mostly related to health, diet, nutrition, mindset, and my daily 90-minute hot yoga practice, lol. And my daily goal is always returning to feeling peaceful.
hi! i'm sorry to bother but i'm really curious as to how the "SP 9w1" combination works since SP 9s are considered to be the most "stubborn" Nine, for example, they may act passive-aggressive when it comes to being ordered to do things they don't want, they might also feel uncomfortable when they're rushed to finish a task. That characteristic of SP 9 can most likely make the 9 have a wing 8. So I'm curious as to how the SP 9's "stubbornness" or easy channel to "anger" manifests when the SP 9 is a 9w1. Do you easily have access to your anger bcs of the SP instinct or does the wing 1 hold you back from expressing that anger at times? Thank you so much.
@@madferalchicken6153 hey there, just like 9’s and 8’s there’s different levels of anger we have access to depending on the person. SP1’s are much less openly angry than SX1’s. SX1’s push their anger out as SP1’s take it out on themselves. The goal is to have balanced wings so to develop the 8 and 1 is crucial. I’d watch the subtypes of both the 8’s and 1’s and just play around a bit with how it shows up for you and how you can balance yourself out. It’s all about balance and integration
You make hands down the best and most heart-piercing, soul-exposing enneagram descriptions on the internet. I’m debating between 8w9 and 9w8, so I’m learning everything about both and oh boy, “they resist your need” made me cringe. I’m listening to these with my husband and your 9 overview made both of us go “how does he know?” :’D
Ha! Your flattery will get you everywhere. Love it when a couple watches/listens together, it warms my heart. I love doing this kaya and won’t stop as long as folks like you are out there growing and digging it Thanks for the inspiration Drew
Thank you for this video! Very informative and helpful. When you talked about considering how much energy is put into routines, it made me think of a saying “Body in motion stays in motion, body at rest stays in rest”. As a sp 9, I can really relate to this. I find that routines help me do things without draining energy, like I would feel if I would always have to make a decision to start the activity. Starting and stopping takes a lot of energy.
Yes! As a 4 we have a version of not being in motion too and my whole experience with achieving any goals I have is to just get up a go and let the momentum kick in. Thanks for watching Drew
For the longest time I thought I was a five because they like solitude and want to preserve their energy. The SP type sounds a lot like that. What changed my mind was my aversion to conflict which fives don't seem to be afraid of. Thank you for this enlightening information.
❤ literally I’m elated to finally get to this video on SP 9. Why it took me so long is because of all the tests that mistype me and the videos/books that can’t get the SP-9 right. But you my friend nailed it. “My precious schedule”, when I heard that I literally chuckled ;). Thanks again for all your good work on clarifying the subtypes beautifully 😊.
You are the enneagram whisperer, certainly as far as the 9 is concerned. I appreciate greatly the nuance and subtle but important details that you present in your videos, and im so so grateful for the honesty you dish out. The greatest gift that I have experienced from the enneagram is that it holds up a mirror to those parts of me that I kind of knew were there but pretended were not, because to acknowledge them would have required me readjust my self image in a less ‘flattering’ direction. But of course it is those very parts where vanity, ego and self delusion reside, and since owning them my inner and outer worlds have loosened up, less tension, more acceptance and real self expression. You have a finely tuned skill in identifying and describing these shadowy parts. Thank you so much for the effort you put into making these videos.
’ve been so behind on responding to RUclips messages, my apologies 🙏🏼 I’m working on a book this year and fully immersed. Thanks Megan. That means a lot. It’s my absolute joy to do the whispering 😂 If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy or drew@drewnewkirk.com hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share
I've always told my husband that I appreciate that he doesn’t let me steamroll him, but doesn’t steamroll me either. I need that pushback. But most people think I'm super sweet and nice and don't realize I have a spicy core and it confuses them if they encounter it. But romantic relationships I'm spicy in, friends next, and work rarely
Hi! Thank you for this video, I really enjoyed it, I feel what you said was very accurate, I identified alot the self-preservation 9 I really liked what you said about the difference of spending time on yourself and with yourself, and also about being intentional and making time to connect with others as well. I also enjoyed the part when you said to find someone who pushes your buttons haha (challenges you) in order to step outside of that comfort zone and being able to stay in that hard zone.
Deep Merlot! A good name for it right? Enneagram 4’s and variations of purple 🤦♂️ We definitely have a vibe in this respect Thanks for watching Hope you’re following along on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy
23:57 I'm more of a social 9, but as a 9w8 this part make laugh of myself because I do that very often hahahaha. Recently a 5 came to me accusing of a lot a things I didn't just because she want cut me out of her life (for de secound time). I said: "do whatever you want, belive in whatever you want. You already made your decision, so goodbye e be well" than I just stop answering her (basically slam a figurative door at her face).
So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew
No problem, my friend, thank you for watching and engaging with it. Always nice to get a little affirmation that it landed. Hope you are following my Instagram if you’re on it, @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy Have a great day, Drew
Type 9 here, not really winged I oscillate between defiance and compliance. I find myself this Saturday morning binge-watching your videos. Thank you so much for your loving insight and advice. This subtype fits me to a T. From my perspective, it is hard to find what is meaningful when the general feeling is that life has no meaning! I have spent over the past year looking inward and all I see is darkness, the void, emptiness. Will that change? Who knows... I do this meditation to empty thoughts from my mind because I am annoyed with my tendency to play out future impossible worst case scenarios in my head (6 ?) or replaying past hurts in my head and negative thoughts to those who betrayed me in the past.
I have small collects of Don Miguel Ruiz books, Dr Phil Books, 5 or 6 Tao Te Ching books, Enneagram books, and starting Dr Mark Hyman's books. My collections are small.
So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew
As a sexual 4 who craves deep connection trying to connect with my self-preserving 9 mom who is allergic to deep conversations that might challenge her world view, this hit HARD. Any tips for showing love to this type?
Realize you didn’t choose your mom. Seriously. If you were two regular folks you likely wouldn’t hang, you wouldn’t choose her. It’s time to be a bit more detached so you can enjoy her. That doesn’t mean unkind or lacking in love. Love her by not expecting her to go deep. Give her that break. Then you may be able to be around her with less frustration. Although, I’m summing up what would be 5 sessions with you into a paragraph. 😂 So, take it for what it’s worth. But, Jasmine, we SX4’s are on an extreme level of connection, and we can want what we can’t have
@@drewnewkirk That is 100% true about us wanting more out of some relationships than the other person can give. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful response!
@@reverendgirl40 I love your heart for her. That sometimes is enough. Then take the responsibility and desire away. Anyway, the fact you are trying to work through this is beautiful and honoring. That’s how we honor our parent, just by working on our shit. And you are definitely doing that 🙌🏼 Keep on it Drew
So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew
Hi Drew. Thanks for these great videos! I believe I’m a 9, though it literally took me forever to come to that conclusion cuz I did a stint for 5 different types lol. Was very certain I was a 5 for a while but I think I may just be an SP 9. (I was very certain I WASN’T a 9. Probably because I really don’t want to be lol) You do a better job of explaining the 9 and subtypes than anyone I’ve found on RUclips so thanks! When I realized I’m probably a 9 it really hit me hard. I had to reframe everything as ‘is that true or is it what I’ve been telling myself for years to give me peace of mind’ and it was really really hard. I always thought I was honest with myself and finding out I wasn’t and that I have so far to go really hurt. It still does. But I really want to change and I think knowing my subtypes can help with that! One thing that did upset me in these videos and annoy me (probably signs of being a 9 lol) were the repeated comments on changing so we can help the world. Call me selfish but all the things I want to do and all I’ve ever really wanted to do were for me and my betterment. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, though, and having achievement framed as ‘success in being a useful member of society’ or ‘making waves in the world’ is kinda annoying. The fact that things I do can even make waves is literally one of the things that keep me from doing stuff. So I know you’re trying to help but you seem like a type that thrives off looking like you’ve got it all and helping other people get to where you are. Which is fine. But that’s not everyone. And small achievements just for us should be celebrated. They’re sometimes the only thing keeping us 9s going. I think in the 9 overview you said something about it being disappointing for friends and family when 9s get so excited over little achievements while talking a big game and honestly that kinda hurt. I hate disappointing people but I also feel like that’s on them for having expectations in the first place. And if they can’t be happy for me when I make a small move how can I trust them to support me when I have to fight against everything in me to make bigger moves? It’s really hard and it kinda hurt being framed this way. I think it may be helpful as an authority for you to be more understanding that people want different things and there’s nothing wrong with living a life achieving small goals and trying to find peace. We don’t all have to be Steven Hawkings and Mother Teresas. Overall though these videos were so helpful and I’ll be watching them again and taking notes this time. The idea of writing a conclusion before asking people their opinions is a great one! Since I frequently think I have a strong opinion on something only to have it swayed by other (more confident) peoples’ words.
Very thoughtful processing my friend. I hear your feedback and appreciate it. I think if we were discussing in person the perspective would be pretty close but alas, the video is a one way conversation. As always, I’m mostly appreciative you wrestled with the content and even wrestled with your frustrations with me. And, if you watch any of my video on the 4’s you’ll definitely see I don’t lead from a place of having it together or being a standard bearer but rather a jacked up, flawed, struggling person as we all are. I’m hardest on me and how my dysfunctional stuff shows up. But, all in all, it’s cool we are growing Keep at it Drew
@@drewnewkirk thank you too for your thoughtful response. Of course everyone has struggles we can’t know about and that’s why we want to learn about the enneagram and such systems as they help us target growth areas. I learned a lot from this series so maybe I’ll check out the 4s videos since I see a lot of myself in the 4 as well and I’m trying to get a broader understanding of the entire enneagram. Sorry if I sounded too critical. That’s not my intent. Just to point out how certain arguments or criticisms can sound to those who struggle with knowing their identity. Even hearing such things can make them become your identity!
Thank you for the honesty and insights in this thread. I am recognizing that I am a 9w1… not sure of the subtype yet. One thing that has been, is challenging for me is the shame of feeling I don’t measure up to the expectations that other people think I’m capable of. I’ve also had to come to terms with the contrast between not living up to my own ideals and finding more peace and contentment with the simple, relatively small and mundane, daily ways my sense of service shows up. I have friends who are recognized by many for big achievements and contributions and I feel like such an underachiever compared to what others think I could ‘do.’ I seem to spend so much energy to simply ‘be’ that ‘doing’ often just needs to be simpler for me.
@@VajraHeartNorthStar that’s really relatable. I think because 9s are always aware of what’s happening around them and how they need to respond to it, they (we? I’m still trying to figure it out haha) can get exhausted by just going about their regular day. So much energy is expended by having to monitor everything around you! I really hope the enneagram helps you learn to accept and love yourself and not to be too hard on yourself when you can’t achieve those big things you want to do. It can be really hard and feel awful I know. As humans we WANT to achieve things. But even little triumphs like calling the doctors office when you have social anxiety can be something that is worth celebrating! How big an achievement something is really comes down to your mindset more than anything. To some people winning silver in the Olympics isn’t that great. To others, learning how to ride a bike is huge.
I just listened to the three "9" videos and they were great! But I'm still confused, I see bits of each sub-type in myself but I'm not sure which is my main one.
@@janea7482 glad it helped. I appreciate you sharing 😉 I wouldn’t get overly caught up in figuring that out for awhile, just keep learning and appreciate you may be more balanced then you know - good for you If interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew
can i be a sp9 if I'm not that sensory-oriented? 9s descriptions are always focused on sensory stuff, while I don't think i focus much on it. My introverted sensing is basically non-existent, i believe i use the Ni-Se axis. I'm typed as INFJ, but sp9 doesn't really match with INFJ. it's complicated. I'm deciding between type 5 and type 9, but i believe I'm a type 9 because I'm more easygoing and calm. i also simplify things a lot compared to the 5s who overcomplicate things. but I'm quite bad with routines, i often plan my days into routines, but I've always failed to follow them
So sorry for the delay. 9’s may have a hard time tapping into and acknowledging their senses a bit. That’s why it’s good for them to practice so much at doing so… not sure if you’re a 9 but this might help Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew
I think an unhealthy any number can struggle with addiction but self preservers in general may be prone as they sometimes can lean towards not sharing their pain freely so suffer in silence and May medicate with the bottle
It is important to note that we are each all 27 types. So when I eat an apple pie I am a self preservation 9. When I stand up to a bully I am an 8. When I go to a concert I am a 7. When I lock my car doors I am a 6. When I read a book I am a 5. When I brush my hair I am a 4. When I work hard I am a 3. When I call my mom I am a 2. When I drive on the right side of the road I am a 1. We are all types. All the time.
I’m an SP 9w1, and I don’t like collections of things. When I get too much of anything (like books, clothes), I give them away to make space. “Stuff” has a negative drag on me and feels suffocating. That said, I do have a collection of thoughts, mostly related to health, diet, nutrition, mindset, and my daily 90-minute hot yoga practice, lol. And my daily goal is always returning to feeling peaceful.
So you’re collecting space 🤔? Not everyone collects the same way 😉 I think the SP in me is often doing the same thing
Drew
hi! i'm sorry to bother but i'm really curious as to how the "SP 9w1" combination works since SP 9s are considered to be the most "stubborn" Nine, for example, they may act passive-aggressive when it comes to being ordered to do things they don't want, they might also feel uncomfortable when they're rushed to finish a task. That characteristic of SP 9 can most likely make the 9 have a wing 8. So I'm curious as to how the SP 9's "stubbornness" or easy channel to "anger" manifests when the SP 9 is a 9w1. Do you easily have access to your anger bcs of the SP instinct or does the wing 1 hold you back from expressing that anger at times? Thank you so much.
@@madferalchicken6153 hey there, just like 9’s and 8’s there’s different levels of anger we have access to depending on the person. SP1’s are much less openly angry than SX1’s. SX1’s push their anger out as SP1’s take it out on themselves. The goal is to have balanced wings so to develop the 8 and 1 is crucial. I’d watch the subtypes of both the 8’s and 1’s and just play around a bit with how it shows up for you and how you can balance yourself out. It’s all about balance and integration
@@drewnewkirk Thank you so much!
You make hands down the best and most heart-piercing, soul-exposing enneagram descriptions on the internet. I’m debating between 8w9 and 9w8, so I’m learning everything about both and oh boy, “they resist your need” made me cringe. I’m listening to these with my husband and your 9 overview made both of us go “how does he know?” :’D
Ha! Your flattery will get you everywhere. Love it when a couple watches/listens together, it warms my heart. I love doing this kaya and won’t stop as long as folks like you are out there growing and digging it
Thanks for the inspiration
Drew
Thank you for this video! Very informative and helpful. When you talked about considering how much energy is put into routines, it made me think of a saying “Body in motion stays in motion, body at rest stays in rest”. As a sp 9, I can really relate to this. I find that routines help me do things without draining energy, like I would feel if I would always have to make a decision to start the activity. Starting and stopping takes a lot of energy.
Yes! As a 4 we have a version of not being in motion too and my whole experience with achieving any goals I have is to just get up a go and let the momentum kick in. Thanks for watching
Drew
Inertia crew ✊
For the longest time I thought I was a five because they like solitude and want to preserve their energy. The SP type sounds a lot like that. What changed my mind was my aversion to conflict which fives don't seem to be afraid of. Thank you for this enlightening information.
I enjoyed this video, I am a self preserving nine and I identify so much!
Thank you for watching Linda. Hope you watched the other 2 subtypes too to integrate them in. Keep plugging away and thanks for sharing
Drew
❤ literally I’m elated to finally get to this video on SP 9. Why it took me so long is because of all the tests that mistype me and the videos/books that can’t get the SP-9 right. But you my friend nailed it. “My precious schedule”, when I heard that I literally chuckled ;). Thanks again for all your good work on clarifying the subtypes beautifully 😊.
I got you covered and thanks for watching 🙏🏼
Drew
A balance between contemplation & action!
Pearl Jam Corduroy ?
Killing it bro..
So many good ones to choose from Larry. Music saves
You are the enneagram whisperer, certainly as far as the 9 is concerned. I appreciate greatly the nuance and subtle but important details that you present in your videos, and im so so grateful for the honesty you dish out. The greatest gift that I have experienced from the enneagram is that it holds up a mirror to those parts of me that I kind of knew were there but pretended were not, because to acknowledge them would have required me readjust my self image in a less ‘flattering’ direction. But of course it is those very parts where vanity, ego and self delusion reside, and since owning them my inner and outer worlds have loosened up, less tension, more acceptance and real self expression. You have a finely tuned skill in identifying and describing these shadowy parts. Thank you so much for the effort you put into making these videos.
’ve been so behind on responding to RUclips messages, my apologies 🙏🏼
I’m working on a book this year and fully immersed.
Thanks Megan. That means a lot. It’s my absolute joy to do the whispering 😂
If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy or drew@drewnewkirk.com hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share
I've always told my husband that I appreciate that he doesn’t let me steamroll him, but doesn’t steamroll me either. I need that pushback. But most people think I'm super sweet and nice and don't realize I have a spicy core and it confuses them if they encounter it. But romantic relationships I'm spicy in, friends next, and work rarely
Hi! Thank you for this video, I really enjoyed it, I feel what you said was very accurate, I identified alot the self-preservation 9 I really liked what you said about the difference of spending time on yourself and with yourself, and also about being intentional and making time to connect with others as well. I also enjoyed the part when you said to find someone who pushes your buttons haha (challenges you) in order to step outside of that comfort zone and being able to stay in that hard zone.
Consider me one of those who pushes buttons 😂
Thanks for watching Joanna and glad it brought some connection to self
Drew
I love the dark purple wall. Taking the plunge 🎉
Deep Merlot! A good name for it right? Enneagram 4’s and variations of purple 🤦♂️ We definitely have a vibe in this respect
Thanks for watching
Hope you’re following along on instagram
@drewnewkirkpsychotherapy
23:57 I'm more of a social 9, but as a 9w8 this part make laugh of myself because I do that very often hahahaha. Recently a 5 came to me accusing of a lot a things I didn't just because she want cut me out of her life (for de secound time). I said: "do whatever you want, belive in whatever you want. You already made your decision, so goodbye e be well" than I just stop answering her (basically slam a figurative door at her face).
That actually sounds like a pretty healthy thing to do. Setting those good boundaries 🙌🏼
Drew
Absolutely amaing! It's so uncomfortable to learn about myself, but I'm very thankful for the insights. 🎉
So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one.
If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list
Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com
Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out
Drew
Excellent . . . like looking in the mirror. Thank you.
No problem, my friend, thank you for watching and engaging with it. Always nice to get a little affirmation that it landed. Hope you are following my Instagram if you’re on it, @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy
Have a great day,
Drew
Type 9 here, not really winged I oscillate between defiance and compliance. I find myself this Saturday morning binge-watching your videos. Thank you so much for your loving insight and advice. This subtype fits me to a T. From my perspective, it is hard to find what is meaningful when the general feeling is that life has no meaning! I have spent over the past year looking inward and all I see is darkness, the void, emptiness. Will that change? Who knows... I do this meditation to empty thoughts from my mind because I am annoyed with my tendency to play out future impossible worst case scenarios in my head (6 ?) or replaying past hurts in my head and negative thoughts to those who betrayed me in the past.
I have small collects of Don Miguel Ruiz books, Dr Phil Books, 5 or 6 Tao Te Ching books, Enneagram books, and starting Dr Mark Hyman's books. My collections are small.
These are the best enneagram videos. This is 100% me
So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one.
If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list
Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com
Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out
Drew
Enjoyed the video; very informative!
thank you
As a sexual 4 who craves deep connection trying to connect with my self-preserving 9 mom who is allergic to deep conversations that might challenge her world view, this hit HARD. Any tips for showing love to this type?
Realize you didn’t choose your mom. Seriously. If you were two regular folks you likely wouldn’t hang, you wouldn’t choose her. It’s time to be a bit more detached so you can enjoy her. That doesn’t mean unkind or lacking in love. Love her by not expecting her to go deep. Give her that break. Then you may be able to be around her with less frustration. Although, I’m summing up what would be 5 sessions with you into a paragraph. 😂
So, take it for what it’s worth. But, Jasmine, we SX4’s are on an extreme level of connection, and we can want what we can’t have
@@drewnewkirk That is 100% true about us wanting more out of some relationships than the other person can give. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful response!
@@reverendgirl40 I love your heart for her. That sometimes is enough. Then take the responsibility and desire away. Anyway, the fact you are trying to work through this is beautiful and honoring. That’s how we honor our parent, just by working on our shit. And you are definitely doing that 🙌🏼
Keep on it
Drew
Very helpful and insuhhtful
So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one.
If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list
Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com
Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out
Drew
Hi Drew. Thanks for these great videos! I believe I’m a 9, though it literally took me forever to come to that conclusion cuz I did a stint for 5 different types lol. Was very certain I was a 5 for a while but I think I may just be an SP 9. (I was very certain I WASN’T a 9. Probably because I really don’t want to be lol) You do a better job of explaining the 9 and subtypes than anyone I’ve found on RUclips so thanks!
When I realized I’m probably a 9 it really hit me hard. I had to reframe everything as ‘is that true or is it what I’ve been telling myself for years to give me peace of mind’ and it was really really hard. I always thought I was honest with myself and finding out I wasn’t and that I have so far to go really hurt. It still does. But I really want to change and I think knowing my subtypes can help with that!
One thing that did upset me in these videos and annoy me (probably signs of being a 9 lol) were the repeated comments on changing so we can help the world. Call me selfish but all the things I want to do and all I’ve ever really wanted to do were for me and my betterment. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, though, and having achievement framed as ‘success in being a useful member of society’ or ‘making waves in the world’ is kinda annoying. The fact that things I do can even make waves is literally one of the things that keep me from doing stuff. So I know you’re trying to help but you seem like a type that thrives off looking like you’ve got it all and helping other people get to where you are. Which is fine. But that’s not everyone. And small achievements just for us should be celebrated. They’re sometimes the only thing keeping us 9s going.
I think in the 9 overview you said something about it being disappointing for friends and family when 9s get so excited over little achievements while talking a big game and honestly that kinda hurt. I hate disappointing people but I also feel like that’s on them for having expectations in the first place. And if they can’t be happy for me when I make a small move how can I trust them to support me when I have to fight against everything in me to make bigger moves? It’s really hard and it kinda hurt being framed this way. I think it may be helpful as an authority for you to be more understanding that people want different things and there’s nothing wrong with living a life achieving small goals and trying to find peace. We don’t all have to be Steven Hawkings and Mother Teresas.
Overall though these videos were so helpful and I’ll be watching them again and taking notes this time. The idea of writing a conclusion before asking people their opinions is a great one! Since I frequently think I have a strong opinion on something only to have it swayed by other (more confident) peoples’ words.
Very thoughtful processing my friend. I hear your feedback and appreciate it. I think if we were discussing in person the perspective would be pretty close but alas, the video is a one way conversation. As always, I’m mostly appreciative you wrestled with the content and even wrestled with your frustrations with me. And, if you watch any of my video on the 4’s you’ll definitely see I don’t lead from a place of having it together or being a standard bearer but rather a jacked up, flawed, struggling person as we all are. I’m hardest on me and how my dysfunctional stuff shows up. But, all in all, it’s cool we are growing
Keep at it
Drew
@@drewnewkirk thank you too for your thoughtful response. Of course everyone has struggles we can’t know about and that’s why we want to learn about the enneagram and such systems as they help us target growth areas. I learned a lot from this series so maybe I’ll check out the 4s videos since I see a lot of myself in the 4 as well and I’m trying to get a broader understanding of the entire enneagram. Sorry if I sounded too critical. That’s not my intent. Just to point out how certain arguments or criticisms can sound to those who struggle with knowing their identity. Even hearing such things can make them become your identity!
Thank you for the honesty and insights in this thread. I am recognizing that I am a 9w1… not sure of the subtype yet. One thing that has been, is challenging for me is the shame of feeling I don’t measure up to the expectations that other people think I’m capable of. I’ve also had to come to terms with the contrast between not living up to my own ideals and finding more peace and contentment with the simple, relatively small and mundane, daily ways my sense of service shows up. I have friends who are recognized by many for big achievements and contributions and I feel like such an underachiever compared to what others think I could ‘do.’ I seem to spend so much energy to simply ‘be’ that ‘doing’ often just needs to be simpler for me.
@@VajraHeartNorthStar that’s really relatable. I think because 9s are always aware of what’s happening around them and how they need to respond to it, they (we? I’m still trying to figure it out haha) can get exhausted by just going about their regular day. So much energy is expended by having to monitor everything around you! I really hope the enneagram helps you learn to accept and love yourself and not to be too hard on yourself when you can’t achieve those big things you want to do. It can be really hard and feel awful I know. As humans we WANT to achieve things. But even little triumphs like calling the doctors office when you have social anxiety can be something that is worth celebrating! How big an achievement something is really comes down to your mindset more than anything. To some people winning silver in the Olympics isn’t that great. To others, learning how to ride a bike is huge.
I just listened to the three "9" videos and they were great! But I'm still confused, I see bits of each sub-type in myself but I'm not sure which is my main one.
@@janea7482 glad it helped. I appreciate you sharing 😉
I wouldn’t get overly caught up in figuring that out for awhile, just keep learning and appreciate you may be more balanced then you know - good for you
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Drew
can i be a sp9 if I'm not that sensory-oriented? 9s descriptions are always focused on sensory stuff, while I don't think i focus much on it. My introverted sensing is basically non-existent, i believe i use the Ni-Se axis. I'm typed as INFJ, but sp9 doesn't really match with INFJ. it's complicated. I'm deciding between type 5 and type 9, but i believe I'm a type 9 because I'm more easygoing and calm. i also simplify things a lot compared to the 5s who overcomplicate things. but I'm quite bad with routines, i often plan my days into routines, but I've always failed to follow them
So sorry for the delay. 9’s may have a hard time tapping into and acknowledging their senses a bit. That’s why it’s good for them to practice so much at doing so… not sure if you’re a 9 but this might help
Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one.
If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list
Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com
Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out
Drew
What is your tritype?
478 - the messenger (triple independent)
Sp’s will need solitude and resources.
Can an unhealthy sp 9 often have trouble with to much alcohol? (Me in my younger days)
I think an unhealthy any number can struggle with addiction but self preservers in general may be prone as they sometimes can lean towards not sharing their pain freely so suffer in silence and May medicate with the bottle
sp 9 moment
It is important to note that we are each all 27 types. So when I eat an apple pie I am a self preservation 9. When I stand up to a bully I am an 8. When I go to a concert I am a 7. When I lock my car doors I am a 6. When I read a book I am a 5. When I brush my hair I am a 4. When I work hard I am a 3. When I call my mom I am a 2. When I drive on the right side of the road I am a 1.
We are all types. All the time.