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The Complex Bond Between Hoarders and Their Stuff
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- Опубликовано: 1 апр 2018
- We all struggle with clutter, but something quite distinct might be happening in the brains of those who have the hoarding disorder.
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"Odds are, you have a human brain." *sweats nervously and looks towards closet.*
I don't get it
As long as you don't hoard them.
"A" human brain? Just one?
Have I been doing something wrong?
@@pasta3166 The OP (theoretically, I hope..) has a HUMAN BRAIN in his CLOSET.
@@klutterkicker I only stock enough for the occasional yard sale / Craigslist sale. It's just a hobby, NOT an obsession, Really...
"People may feel safer attaching themselves to objects instead of people, who may hurt or abandon them. It's like the clutter gives them comfort."
This line hit me like a freight train. It explains so much.
I'm drying tears for that as I type.
i can definitely relate to this. it may also be related to some people's (me included) intense attachments to animals instead of other people
also, i liked math so much when i was little and someone asked me why. i said "because numbers do what they're supposed to do" which also explains a lot about my childhood :(
It makes sense now why there was very little to no clutter in the house during my earlier childhood years, but later on my mom started hoarding. I feel like it was brought on by the death of my grandmother (her mother)
Mika Cave , me too!
I could give you hundred explanations of why I hoard...in this sentence it is bc I “humanize my stuff.” It has a story, a purpose, my past, my identity, etc.” So throwing it out can feel like throwing myself out. The loss triggers a panic attack so therefore I keep the item, immediately the panic attack stops and life is happy as we know it.
Is there an opposite to hoarding? My mother is an intense hoarder and i turned out hating clutter so much that i can‘t stand owning anything i don‘t absolutely need.
Mulan 121 Minimalist
Mulan 121 Minimalism? 😜
Same with me. My mother hoarded junk and I have been waging a war against clutter since I was young. Now I throw away or donate everything unnecessary or unused. I can't stand to look at excess.
Me too. :P
Mulan 121 I’m the same. I can’t stand having a lot of things that I don’t use. It’s also a constant process of evaluating things to know if they can stay or has to be given away, a little ocd like maybe
This hits home. My mom died partially because of this. My mom had multiple concussions in life. As a child and into adulthood, things were taken from her. She had a hard life. It started with a storage she had for 18 years(over $70,000 spent) Could have moved with the money. Cats and dogs in cages. Worked in a clothing store. We could no longer use the kitchen. The bathroom. I had to wash up outside. Four tvs, 3 karaoke machines, 4 microwaves, 4 refrigerators, tons of clothes. I had to drag her outside so paramedics wouldn't come inside almost every year. My mom died in the hospital. My brother got her mess. I got my mental health back when I got booted from there because I became a very angry person. I hated lying for her to everyone. It was the biggest secret I ever had. No one should have to go through that.😯😔
So sorry you had to experience that. Must have been hard. But I'm glad to hear you got out of it, and you haven't become a hoarder!
My heart goes out to you. I understand what you mean by hating lying for the hoarder. Especially when everyone thinks it's one of the suffering family members of the hoarder that is refusing to clean. The hatred from others that one asks for help just deepen the entrapment. I'm aware that this occurs in highly educated ppl. I've heard of a veterinarian that hoarded and his wife could not stop him, he committed domestic violence against her when she tried to clean, everyone got angry at her because he was so charming and popular, with a horrible secret of hoarding so much his animals had no place to go. Very bad situations in the form of ripple effects on others connected to the hoarder take place.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. :( My parents, especially my mum is a hoarder and it's frustrating to see so much junk when they don't use most of it. I've never invited a friend to my parent's house EVER growing up.
Im so sorry I agree feel that excess clutter can't be good for heart or breathing. I think it could make some quite ill.
Damn i knoiw how you feel about your mom sorry about this
When I was younger I had to talk myself out of feeling bad for trash. Like, I literally felt empathy for things that were single use or broken. I'm pretty sure that this emotion is what drove me to want to fix literally everything all the time, and I do. I don't let things go if I can fix them for not too much money. But thankfully I can let things go that aren't worth fixing, even though it still makes me sad sometimes.
Same bro. I hate people's buying me crap I don't want/can't eat.
That is a really interesting perspective.
fisqual have you ever seen that movie the brave little toaster?
fisqual - It’s easy to anthropomorphize things. Especially toys. (I wonder if the “toy story” movies started at the epidemic of hoarding.)
PS- guilt about the environment, also. If the stuff’s in your apartment, it’s not in the landfill.
My mother is a mild hoarder. She does throw out the trash and keeps her house clean of dirt, but she doesn't want to get rid of anything else. She was passed around between relatives and orphanages throughout her whole childhood, so she was never allowed to keep anything as her very own. Now she saves everything and can't stop buying junk that she doesn't need from the Goodwill and the Salvation Army stores. She has so many storage tubs full of junk and clothes that she's never worn and will never wear. She has never gotten over that aspect of her childhood and is terrified that she'll end up in that boat again...all alone with nothing. It doesn't matter how many times us kids promise her that we'll never let that happen, it never sinks all of the way in.
That's quite scary. I'm glad she's at least keeping her house clean. Hopefully she can get the help she needs to separate from her junk.
CrankyPants now she will end up all alone with a bunch of crap in storage bins because all that crap pushes people away.
I wonder how she would respond to the idea that by buying stuff from Goodwill that she's keeping it from kids/families who might enjoy it more than her. While she has just as much right to buy it as them, perhaps it would help for her to give some of the items to kids who are in the position she used to be in. To see herself as a protector/provider for others instead of herself.
Could she currently be depressed? My over-shopping at thrift or dollar stores and clutter gets worse when I get more depressed.
My mom is a clothing hoarder as well, but instead of it being in boxes it is stacked into huge piles throughout the house...
My mom is so anti-clutter. She gets rid of EVERYTHING. I'm not even close to a hoarder, but all the times I went to my dad's for the summer and then returned to my room to find every "treasure" had been thrown away while I was gone definitely made me want to hold on to dumb momentos as an adult.
I am so sorry that happened to you.
My mom was a hoarder and I heard that overconsumption is like over eating, while minimalism is like anorexia. I’m sorry you dealt with that.
Not respecting the possessions of others, some kind of power trip maybe.
@@RewindQueenlove this so much. I feel I'm not completely hoarder yet but minimalist make me feel bad. Love this perspective.❤
I have a grandmother who is a hoarder. I went on a trip with her to another state for a funeral. She had a home in that state and an apartment in the state we were leaving from. Both were filled with items we’d consider useless. When we stopped at her home on the road trip she began filling the car with useless, broken, and strange items. She filled every inch of the car including my seat as she wanted to bring this all to her apartment. When I reminded her that I need to be able to fit in the car or I won’t have a way home she looked at me for one split second with an absolutely frightening, and unnatural expression I’ve never seen. It was like those items were 100% more important than me getting home and she really wanted to leave me. I was absolutely unsettled. I eventually managed to make enough space to sit in the car. It was a creepy experience.
I know that unnerving look. My sister is a hoarder and when we were clearing out a relative's house and each taking a momento (the rest was going to an estate company to sell and the funds distributed to the beneficiaries) we both wanted the same ornament. She looked at me with such a frightening lack of emotion and said "I'm having it." It completely freaked me out. I'd never seen that look on her face before and I wasn't sure what she might do. Even though I was the executor and had final say, she got the ornament and ended up taking every single other thing from that house: furniture, appliances, books, clothing, jewellery. You couldn't stop her. She stored it under her daughter's rental and I know none of it will be sold. She just wanted to keep it. Truly frightening behaviour that doesn't take anyone emotions or needs into account, let alone equal distribution of assets. Needless to say, we don't talk any more.
@@whatbringsmepeace - I think there is an ‘anger component’ to hoarding, as well. In addition to trauma & mental illness there is a hot, scary, bitter ANGER.
@@GaiaCarney - could you please elaborate on your 'anger component' observation, thankyou...
@@23merlino Well think of any addict who uses a certain substance or behavior to self-soothe. Get between a junkie and their fix and bad things will happen.
grow some balls and throw granny's trash out.
This hit me really close to home. I have hoarding problems, and I really struggle to clear things out because I feel such a strong emotional attachment to my possessions. As a child, I was very lonely and isolated, and often had to entertain myself, so my possessions gave me so much comfort, fun, and good memories.
It's strange that there seems to be so many causes and combinations of causes.
I have severe ADHD and I am always so paranoid that I’m a hoarder and this episode made me realize that if I really am one, I should get help for it now when I’m in my 20s before it gets worse in like 20 years or something. Thank you for making this!
How goes the war?
How are ya, if you don't mind me asking?
@@sadmermaidthey went off in search of help.
Never to be seen again. Heh.
If all we've got is some quack with a CBT textbook, we ain't got much in the way of tools to help ourselves, let alone family who are in a few decades deeper : /
Same, but I ended up not a hoarder at all (26f). It's never a bad idea to seek medical advice, but I wouldn't get too hung up on it unless the symptoms worsen or start to really affect your life. In that case, CBT and mindfulness can really really help.
The guilt of over/underspending and buyer's remorse is very strong when you hit your 20s too. I'm obviously saying don't not get help, quite the opposite. However, you would be suprised how common it is that adult ADHD isn't necessarily better per sey, but you learn how to handle it better and actually can make lifestyle choices. So it's more manageable. You might not feel the urge to hoard at all if your life isn't chaotic from living like a normal person (I'm assuming you're in school, which by the way, you're doing a great job regardless of your grades if you're just going at all) because it won't always feel like someone is taking that few things that create dopamine away. It's genuinely a flight or fight response. ADHD taking away your attention span and/or causing forgetfulness can cause a sense of needing to hold onto memories too dearly. Which, if an item has a memory attached, will inevitably be subject to keeping. Again, I'm not saying this is your case, but getting CBT to deal with those feelings can help. So it's never a bad idea to get some advice, but do keep in mind there are good and bad therapist. A lot do not respect ADHD and will stigmatize it, so make sure to get one that specializes in ADHD.
Hope this isn't too long, I'd just like to give advice and reassurance. I always was so confused as a teenager with my ADHD because I was labeled a "bad kid". No one told me it gets better and it wasn't my fault.
“And if you’re watching this right now, odds are, you have a human brain.”
Haha jokes on you I showed this to my cat.
How do you know your cat doesn't have a deep, dark secret?
TroutOfOrder your cat owns every organ in your body, including your brain. Scishow was correct
rofl i came here to say the same thing!! like psychhhh my cats were watching this with me!! haha
My accumulating stuff got worse after my friend died because I ended up inheriting a bunch of his stuff.
And I finally managed to get rid of a bunch of kitchen stuff to a friend but then I got it all back when he moved out of state.
My grandmother was an intense hoarder. When she passed, we had to go through several storage units of stuff she couldn't keep in her house. She blamed it on growing up in the Great Depression.
I Knew several people who grew up during the depression, and they all were very reluctant to throw things away, although they usually tried to repurpose things, rather that just hoarding.
It was the same with my great grandpa.
my mom grew up at the end of the depression. Her and her siblings all hoard or hoarded food, my mom can literally stand in a kitchen full of food and still make a long list of food she needs to buy. It's impressive and a little scary
My grandma, too. She never attributed it to anything, since she doesn't really talk about it. But I always thought that's what got it started, as she was 7 when the stock market crashed. She's always said "You never know when you might need it."
And like the video said, it has gotten worse over time. She's 94 now, and really healthy, so there's been no impediment to her shopping sprees. She has an annex filled to the ceiling with stuff, and her house is almost unliveable, from what I've been told.
I can see why she has trouble deciding what's important and what's not. Back then, her and her mom would save scraps of thread after sewing to use in the future - that's how scarce things were for them. I probably would think everything's important, too, if I'd grown up during a time when every little thing *was* important. It's her way of making sure she never has to go through that again.
Animal Facts As a grandma, I am touched by y'alls ability to see your grandparents with compassion and kindness! I really enjoy young people! Wishing you all a happy, fulfilled life!
My mother is a pathological hoarder. Everything explained here described her to a T. The part about collecting "freebies" is her. When my sister and I see old furniture and items tossed out in front of neighbors' yards, we have to constantly keep an eye out for them to make sure the items are still there, and when they're gone, we inspect my mom's house to make sure that she didn't collect them. It's nerve-wracking. My sister is a hoarder as well, but in her case it's a collection of NEW things that she scarcely even unboxes. In both cases, it's extremely difficult to walk through their houses. If it weren't for the fact that I'm in a wheelchair, they would never leave a walking space for themselves. I'm the opposite. I need organization. That's extremely difficult when your sole caregivers are both hoarders. On many occasions, they've both left an item or two in my room that is part of their hoarding collection trying to reason out why it belongs in my room. I've had to contend with them almost to the point of arguing to remove it from my room.
One thing not mentioned in this video is the fact that many hoarders also hoard animals, my mom included. She has over 20 dogs, I lost count on the birds, 18 cats, and a rabbit. Dogs are her favorite animal, so we constantly keep an eye out for any new ones. It's hard living with that and you just almost succumb to it and have to see it as "normal" or risk going stark raving MAD!
SAN VAL Man that blows. My grandma is a bit of a horder but due to me having small cousins that run around the house, that seems to stop it from getting too bad in high activity areas. If it’s an unused room however there’s stuff everywhere...
What I used to tell myself when I was little is that if the house ever got buried in ash from a volcano or something crazy like that it would be quite the time capsule and maybe useful to people in the distant future. But that’s not very likely to happen!
Yeah, you really gotta take your distance at some point. I've had friends who told me I should be more proactive because I was an "enabler", but at some point, it's your sanity that's at risk. I literally burnt out from trying to help everyone around me and being told I was never doing enough although I was constantly putting my own projects on hold for them. I learned that I earned more respect by putting myself first and not help as much. Just don't let people guilt-trip you for not helping them if it starts ruining your life and keep in mind to offer help to those who are willing to help themselves. As crazy as it sounds, not everyone wants to get rid of their problems... -_-
Wow, this sounds horrible. And I know this may sound insensitive, but god, the poor animals. Keeping one cat alongside birds is already stressful enough for both the owner and the animals(my cousin’s four canaries died this way due to a second of absentmindedness), but 18 plus a similar amount of dogs? On top of that, the animals will likely start fights since the house must be very crowded with little options to retreat. I get being attached to objects to an extend, but getting animals one after the other like that? My heart goes out to you.
Oof, you sound like a multiversal variant of me-a wheelchair-user living with a hoarder parent. My father doesn’t collect animals, thankfully, but despising having a spare ‘chair in the basement I haven’t been there in years because it’s utterly untraversable. I’m the only reason the ground floor isn’t the same way. He stops at multiple thrift stores every day on his way back from work, spending hundreds of dollars a week on books he’ll never read, CDs he’ll never listen to, and DVDs he’ll never watch. I’ve told my mother that if she goes first the first thing I’m doing when we get back from her funeral is cutting up his credit cards.
@@DrFranklynAndersonoh yes the credit cards and the food ads, QVC, gemporia, and damn as seen on tv... so much to go through 😢😢
"This is different from collecting" Oh thank god, I collect collections.
What kinds? Coins and Bills, like me?
That Bad BLU Spy Nah, militaria. Antique swords, antique guns, antique uniforms, antique regimental flags, antique military orders and medals
IPostSwords I wonder if collecting pre 2010 hardware and software is hoarding. Especially multiple copies of software.
Me too! I collect plushes, books, pins, and those tiny rubber animals they sell at zoos! I'm usually good at getting rid of plushes and books if I start running out of room though. The other two take up almost no space so I haven't really worried about them.
Very good video. I believe hoarding is (at least in part) unrecognized, unfinished, untreated grief. Something horrible went wrong in this person's life at some point (often childhood) and they've never been able to grieve it properly... it may even be so far back they don't fully know about it. Every time stress, anxiety or some other trigger comes up this unfinished grief cycle comes up: not being able to let go is a symptom.
My Dad is a hoarder, but I was amazed how much stuff he was able to part with when he moved from one house to another. In his case I think it was a matter of procrastination and distractions that kept him from sorting through things and getting rid of stuff. When the move forced him to do it, problem solved for while, until stuff starts piling up in the new house.
I paid good money for a professional organizer to come to my house and we spent two hours chatting. Got nuthin' done.
Yes, I think it's important to realise that some people whose homes are filled with clutter are not necessarily hoarders, but simply people who don't take the time to get rid of things, don't know where or how to dump the stuff, or simply procrastinate housekeeping. You can tell instantly if you're dealing with an actual hoarder, if you offer to help them clear out. The hoarders will refuse and become agitated, and will start putting back the stuff you throw away. The others will be only too glad to get somebody else working on the mess.
This was really interesting to me. As a child I had a hoarding compulsion brought on when our pet cat very suddenly had to be put down when I was about 4 - I became terrified of never seeing something again and forgetting about it (mum might have said something about ‘as long as you remember them they are still there’). So I started hanging onto erverything until I took it to its logical endpoint and began to realise that I HAD to forget some things and had to throw them away (can’t keep used toilet paper). With that realisation that I can’t keep everything I gradually was able to work back and learn to let go of more and more stuff. Now I’m pretty normal but still sentimental. Weird how I basically started asking that ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen if I throw this away’ to myself.
From what I've seen, this type of trauma is the most common trigger. Death is powerful and it can really mess some people up. Some people turn to drugs or alcohol, some turn to sex addiction, some turn to hoarding. There's a weird link between loss and addiction. Almost like we just don't want to deal with the pain ever. So we find something, anything that numbs it.
Thank you for opening up your personal life. I identify exactly what you said because I am the same way.
I relate in one way. When I was about 12 I suddenly realized that I had forgotten a few details of my existence. That is, there was something that happened to me in my short life that I could not recall with certainty. It was a shock, and I worried about it for a while. But, the worry went away even though the inventory of forgotten things increased. I think that is a normal adjustment, but I still remember it.
I took a small organization class in college and they talked a lot about hoarders. Sometimes people think it's rude to throw out certain things, like cards given to them by friends or family. Others have stuff from deceased parents they are holding on to for sentimental value but it really doesn't do them any good to have it, or they are paying to keep it in storage. Others have closets full of clothes they've never worn but keep them just in case one day they might. I'm guessing those are the less intrusive hoarding behaviors. But it can definitely get extreme.
suicune2001 it’s because we “humanize our stuff.” It has a story, a purpose, a value, an outward expression of myself, etc.” Letting it go creates a feeling of great loss, which could trigger a panic attack. That’s why I keep it anyway.
My 6 year old wants to keeeeepp everything because its connected to something
Hmm. Against keeping things that belonged to deceased loved ones. Some people need class instruction.
@@judithgannon5642 When keeping things that belonged to a loved one is intruding and affecting your life in a negative way, it needs to go.
A keepsake is one thing. My mom gave me her wedding ring before she passed away which I still have. What I don't have is her entire wardrobe, every card she ever gave me for my birthday, and all her possessions cluttering up my apartment. I'm mot paying for a storage container full of her stuff. I have my one keepsake and my pictures.
I'm just going to keep this video. I might need it later.
I was also thinking the same..Perfect example for a mind of a hoarder.
My issues started after my narcissistic ex did his first real silent treatment. Home decor shopping filled voids. I was convinced the piles of arts & crafts supplies were necessary when I had to barricade myself in the second bedroom bc he was repeatedly throwing himself against the door screaming about how he was gonna break in & kill me; & later setting up barricades & obstacle courses in my own appartment.
I stuck around trying to fix the relationship bc I believed it was my fault. I had been diagnosed bipolar & he used it against me in a variety of ways.
I have since left him & am happily married to an exceedingly better man. But I still feel empty, in danger, abandoned, & like I'm betraying myself without "too much" arts & crafts around & random things piled in walkways & by the door.
I'm scared to walk down the hall to dump the garbage, so my hubby does that. We're working me believing I don't need old mail & will be ok if I put things away or take them to the storage shed. Bc I need a storage shed.
It's difficult for people to understand it's not laziness & making excuses. For me it's a variety of fears & identity issues. Glad my husband understands well enough. Wish others did.
You are doing a great job of presenting information in a relatable, respectful way.
- A former Psychiatric Nurse...
I'm listening agreed! I’m a hoarder trying to explain my heart and “humanize the behavior” so it’s not judged so harshly. Refreshing to see it presented like this.
“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” Jessica Rabbit
Ha! That's where you're wrong. I don't have a human brain, I have two. My own and Terry in this jar here.
The hell happen to terry XD
Help let me out he's crazy
Human brains are for the sane. Therefore you must be double sane.
I get how you feel, people do often get crepped out by me, but i have the kind heart of a little girl, in a jar on my desk.
but do you really neeed Terry and this jar?...
I don’t hoard but I imagine my house as a luxury vacation house and made each room “what would a hotel do?” Keeps things clean, minimal and always seem luxurious. Feels good to be at home. Be good to the roof over your head and it will be good to you. Also upgrade on things and keep up with house maintenance. The biggest investment needs to be tended to.
I like this idea. I will strive for this.
I wish it was that easy.
Agreed, but the battle is intense with a hoarder
My dad was a hoarder. He passed away only a week ago so I'm staying with my mother over the Easter break. Sorting through all his crap is gonna be tough. Especially while I'm dealing with my own hoarding impulses.
Can u give us a update ?
I hope you are doing okay ♥️ Personally as a hoarder myself, I know traumatic events can trigger my hoarding worse. Sending love & positive vibes your way 💕
it's all garbage. throw it away.
Thank you for this. I'm getting quite sick of the "let's put dysfunctional minds under a spotlight purely for your etertainment!" that's so common.
IstasPumaNevada Anything for money and rateings.
I agree. I like learning about the disorders in order to understand from their perspective. I absolutely disagree with putting people with any sort of disorder up for display on some t.v. show for all to mock.
I agree, but the TV show did help a lot of those people get their houses cleaned up which is something that would’ve been almost impossible for them to do on their own. Unfortunately, most of them probably went back to hoarding afterwards, but at least it helped for a little bit :/
As someone with hoarding tendencies, i’m glad for education like this. It helps people understand that there’s a lot more to it than just being a slob.
Now “Hoarders” the show has gotten worse about shocking the audience by how bad things are, having the host spend the night in the hoarded house, so they can talk about how disgusting it is. This is a relatively new feature to the show, which focuses less on what the people are going through.
Also, the first time I saw anything in the media about hoarding, it was a relief. I realized there was more going on than me just being a slob, and eventually I got help. The hoarding is better, but I backslid on chronic disorganization.
I think the size show is doing a good job of not focusing too much on the shock value.
Usually I'd rather be entertained by someone else's trouble. This was a bit close to home.
i could give you my joke, but i may need to use it later
OH MY GOSH! That's perfect!
My mom is a hoarder. It seems to be a comorbidity of Borderline Personality Disorder. She has severe abandonment issues and it's really shown by her unwillingness to abandon all the crap she keeps in her house. She had a traumatic childhood due to her father and her father seemed to be quite the hoarder himself. She grew up poorish so i feel lile now that she has the money to buy all the things she wants she doesn't want to give any of it up. Even though she doesn't need 4 airfryers and 7 (literally) pressure cookers she still refuses to give up any of them. After watching this video I can see clearer how all these factors kind of made the perfect storm in her, making her a hoarder. It's truly fascinating the lengths your brain will go through to cope with severe abuse especially when it comes during childhood.
And amazon was the absooute worst thinf e these people. Hsn n uears past, but amazon...ffs!
My sister tried 2 give me a cpmputer chair and she had an entire coniption. My siater said "damn. U only got 2 butt cheeks...u can only sit n 1 chair at a time." She almost murdered her. U c...this is HER SHIT...n u aint gon acost it. Jesus will b crucified again is he tried. I jus had 2 let it go. I gotta love her from afar
I’m a mild hoarder :/ I have a lineup of origami and small paper craft figurines on my desk and a pile of old stuffed animals I keep around for sentimental value. I keep collections of pretty candy wrappers and old unusable pencils, thinking maybe I can use them in a future art project or something, but I never do. It’s like I just have this weird personal connection to small inanimate objects. I don’t actively seek out things to hoard, but I get overly emotional and I feel this deep sense of loss whenever I’m forced to throw things out. This video was spot-on for me.
i used to roll my own cigarettes and, since i liked making crafts, i saved the cardboard pieces in the papers as they were all the same size so would be useful. since then, i quit making crafts and now have 6 cigarette paper boxes full of the cardboard pieces, sorted by size since zigzag changed them several times, lol.
I actually wouldn't call that hoarding at all. Your just a super artsy person. I am the same way with pencils and sticky notes and those little pads of paper. I do use them over time. And it is normal, even vital, to have a few items from your childhood.
@@vulcanfeline You could donate them to an art teacher for their class. ❤️
Artists are a whole different breed of hoarder. Most of my hoard is "future art projects" or things that are just too pretty to give up. Also sentimental stuff. The fact that I live in a very small home with little storage doesn't help. If I lived in a normal sized home it would be fine.
I sort of know what you mean. I have a whole bunch of stuff that's purely sentimental, more than I'd like. It would be nice to get rid of some of it. But you feel like, if you throw it out, you're being disrespectful towards those memories or the people involved.
To quote from the DSM-5: "Why do people hoard? Because of things and stuff."
Master Therion and trinkets and thingies
Master Therion hold onto that thought. You might need it later.
😂👏👏👏 You are my favorite people on the internet today.
Master Therion - The Musical Dogs hank got that pear body going on🍐😋😍
My grandmother was a hoarder, my father is an indistrial hoarder,(literally turned beautiful a home into a suburban junkyard with a run down house.. ) I was on my way to being a hoarder, until I met my husband. He's helped me alot with getting rid of unnecessary things.
I developed my own "questions" that I use to make decisions when buying or keeping objects, and I keep adding to the question when I need to;
For example -
Do I really need this, when will I use/wear it, will I ACTUALLY use/wear it, is it worth hanging on to "just in case", does it bring joy into my life, is it expensive to replace? If its a no to all these (which usually it is), its either in the bin, donated, or sold.
You explain things very well. I'm not a hoarder by strict definition. Everything i own can be moved in three trips my Hyundai. However, i don't sort and get rid of things in a productive way. I refuse to let anyone else touch my things. And the triggers mentioned here are spot on. I parent died when I was 6, two grandparents by age 5 a step grandparent by ten. But I believe the final trigger was a mom who was a clean fanatic and as a teenager, if my drawers or closet were disorganized, she would take everything out or said closet/drawers throw the contents away saying that I clearly didn't appreciate my stuff if I kept it in such a disheveled manner.
While I'm glad I know the cause of the issue, I still have a really hard time trusting anyone else with my things.
Thank you for posting.
Yes. Minimalists take note. You can have a detrimental effect on your family if you declutter their stuff without permission. You can end up raising hoarders!
I've witnessed a lot of homes with mild hoarding. I was living with a friend's family back when I was like 22. His mom was quite the hoarder, I'll spare the details except for a room that had things piled up the ceiling and her son decided to pawn off something from the room and he thought she would never notice but the very next day she was screaming at him about it missing. She not only noticed but was angry because she might need it. She had since moved a couple times and it doesn't seem to be an issue anymore though. She seemed to stop doing it once her kids moved out, and in and out and in and out. It's rough these days.
I can imagine. I only felt comfortable speaking about her case, but around the same time I ended up doing some community service where we all went to this home that had been seized by the IRS and we were the ones cleaning it. It was a big old house with about 7 different connecting trailer houses brancing out and every single trailer and room was completely full. It was sad that it got sorted by materials and everything not metal ended up in a burn pile. But these were people that did it for decades and there were some valuable antiques that may have ended up as scrap in there. Including the oldest and heaviest sewing machine I ever saw, it was giant and completely metal. Like, old iron. I've never seen anything like it. And it went in the metal pile. :(
I wouldn't be surprised to get diagnosed with this. I have ADHD and my room fills up with junk. However I really feel like the opposite problem exists in a lot of people. I stuggle to throw things out or "get rid of" stuff because I know how hard recycling and reusing is, and how harmful some waste can be. The people who tell me I have a problem will often throw things away and buy a new one when they need it two months later. Or they will throw away something dangerous without thinking about where it goes. People who are "normal" are sometimes very short minded, while horders think too much. So yeah, I leave old batteries in random drawers BUT at least they won't hurt anyone like they would if they leak into the ground water????
So is there a word for that problem? Am I the only one who has this issue?
Markus Andreas Roth-Gross ...why? Who do old batteries hurt by sitting in a random drawer until I figure out how to properly get rid of them? I'm not saying it's the best option but it's not worse than making it someone else's problem
There are recycling centers for batteries.
Mike Magnus and you drive to them to drop off your old batteries on a regular basis? Because I don't. If you do, that's awesome!
Julia Grosvenor , I agree. It's an overactive sense of responsibility
You’re probably just justifying and rationalizing your own hoarding impulses. Every hoarder does this.
has there been any research into connection between hoarding and economic stability? I've heard it suggested that because people can become used to having next to nothing when financially distressed, when they are under less pressure and can access more stuff, they might hoard it because "things can get worse again so i need to keep this just in case".
El Patey Lack of Economic stability can create hoarding to be worse, but my hoarding started as a child when we were financially thriving. But my hoarding did became worse when we financially struggled a few years ago: I kept everything as a way to support the household. If I had it, I didn’t have to use my husband’s hard earned cash. Which gave my security in holding onto everything!
I know of people who are close to being homeless most of the time and they make it a point to own next to nothing unless it’s very important.
You may be on to something. Panic buying gives a glimpse into that
Any surface in my Mom's house above floor level in her house would be covered with just a wide assortment of stuff. Her house, until recently, was pretty big with a full basement, so she was able to keep the bulk of it in the basement, out of sight. But the basement itself was packed wall to wall at one point with just absolute junk. Over 40 dried out paint cans. Dozens of shopping bags full of clothes, most brand new and unworn with 10-year-old tags. "Collectables" which were either damaged or never having worth anything in the first place. And while the living space was somewhat livable, the kitchen counter and dining room table would be covered with junk mail, and two of the bedrooms were completely full of old clothes from my dad, electronics from the 80's and 90's. Half of the food in the refrigerator was expired (very expired), often moldy or sour. And when we got a family cabin that, too, became loaded with stuff.
The one issue I'll take with the video is at 5:06 it asks "do I need this now?" and "what's the worst that could happen?". In my experience, at least with my mother, this wouldn't have helped and may have made it worse. Everything had a story. Everything was valuable, or could be, or was from this person or that person. And there were always serious consequences for getting rid of them. Some poor grandchild would suffer from never having one thing or another, etc.
After over a decade of working on it with her in my teens and 20's she could bear to part with about 2/3 of it, but fought me tooth and nail on the last 1/3. The one way I found that worked would be to tell her I could use it and take it home with me (where it promptly was redirected to Goodwill or the trash). Finally, she and her third husband moved to a smaller place. It took him several more years, a half dozen dumpster loads, and countless car loads of donations, to get it clean enough to move out, and she still moved a lot into a storage locker or moved over 2000 miles with her to her new home. I haven't visited her at her new place, but I have little doubt it's the same story.
Terence Clark This is exactly my dad. A very accurate description of his house and reasoning. Unfortunately my stepmom has her own hoarding issues so I've had little help in getting him past it. They talk about moving but I just can't believe they'll ever suck it up and get the work done... my husband and I will continue to offer help regardless.
The best of luck to you. :) Not sure if this has been your experience, but I found that there was some serious resentment resulting from the whole process, too. By the time she moved out she began to see me as someone who doesn't value anything and has therefore written me out of a good deal of her will for fear of me throwing the things she gives me away. And she's probably right about a most of it. I live in a much smaller place with a 4 person family. I simply don't have physical room for most of the things she tried to give me. It doesn't bother me for other reasons, but I imagine for folks with better relationships with their parents, those strains on the relationship might be harder to bear.
It's truly a lot of work, I'm so glad you helped her. AND she was willing to do it! 👍❤️
@@TerenceClark I have a huge doll collection and absolutely no relatives interested in them. My hope is to have it all professionally videotaped so I'll have it to look at & enjoy. Maybe a photo album or scrapbook, keep a few extra special ones and donate or auction off the rest.
If your mother feels the stuff is going to someone who will value or treasure them like she does, it might make it easier to let go. It's helped me, knowing "my treasure" is going to a good home. ❤️ I can't tell you how happy I was giving one of my dolls to a friend and she just was overjoyed, loved it more than I did! That's a better "high" than being a shopaholic. 🙂
My mother had some hoarding tendencies, mostly centered around cosmetics, jewellery and clothes. She filled all of the clothes in the house with clothes nobody will ever wear, shoes that are no longer in usable condition, long-expired make up and cosmetics and broken cheap jewellery that will never be repaired. She cried and got rather aggressive when my father wanted to get them out so we would have some usable closest... My grandmother had the exact same thing, going as far as keeping her children's used socks and underwear[!], 30 years after said kids grew up and left the house.
Perhaps that somewhat contributed to my own preference for strict minimalism.
One thing that gets me is I don't know what I'm allowed to get rid of. Some of the things I have, I'm holding for other people (I've been holding them for a while) or they were gifts and I don't want to be disrespectful. My stuff isn't exactly my stuff. And some things I keep because I don't know if I'm supposed to. I once had a dispute with the cable company over my credit history; they asked for identifying mail from over 4 years prior. In that instance it paid off to keep my old statement letters. And when dealing with government agencies they always ask for detailed history, which means I probably shouldn't throw out old doctor bills, right? Stuff I'm supposed to keep piles up. Like, when, if ever, should I get rid of stuff from my childhood? How many posters and prints from artists are worth keeping, selling or throwing away? And how about proper disposal? Am I supposed to donate any of this? Is some of it supposed to be destroyed to protect my identity? Is there somebody who wants it for parts?
And if that weren't enough issues to deal with: I hate selling stuff. Garage sales irk me. I hate them! Not just going to them, but hosting them. I hate negotiations entirely. I'd rather just give stuff away and be done with it; but then people will wonder if there's something wrong with my stuff. Maybe they're going to hoard it themselves, or take it just to sell it. I just don't know!
But I'm aware of my problem so I try to limit what I bring in to my life. Almost everybody knows I don't want gifts. I hate party favors and decorations that I don't know what to do with or feel guilty throwing in the trash. I beg people to take presents back because I don't have a place for them.
I don't want more stuff!
sirdeadlock Wow. You are me from 10 years ago lol. I have since become a reckless thrower-awayer and have rarely missed anything. I'm glad minimalism became a thing so I had some guidelines. I used Marie Kondo's book.
One thing about gifts: that's a hard one, but you gotta just let it go. Even if it's straight in the bin. It's not disrespectful. Your loved ones would not want their gift to be a burden to you anyways, and right now that's all it is!
On gifts: These are things people gave you, because they thought those might spark joy for you. If it doesn't, you're under no obligation to keep it.
On paper work: The paperwork you'll absolutely need down the road often states that in the paper itself. It might pay off to do your research how long you're obligated to keep it. Plus: You don't need to have it physical. Especially with paper work you can scan it and store it digitally.
On selling vs donating: There's a buyer for everything. It's just the question how much ressources you want to go to to find them. If it's basically new, has a specific purpose and you know it is a thing that people usually need or like: Try selling it. If it's visibly used, generally widely available, not supercheap, but still usable, try donating it. If broken, super cheap, or is just bits and bops, throw it out. I try selling basically new clothes and relatively new books. I donate older books, toys, decorations ect. But I'll also donate stuff I could technically sell fpr the peace of mind I get from not having it lying around any longer.
I find setting up at the flea market brings waaay more foot traffic than wasting all day doing a yard sale. And you can decide when you want to leave. 👍
Wow, thanks this really made me think about my hoarding... Right when hank was talking about having stuff taking up half the bed making it difficult to sleep was right when I went to lie down on my bed, which is covered in all sorts of junk...
I don't have an emotional attachment to my clutter but I don't have the energy to remove the from my room. I refer to this as chronic disorganization.
Could be depression. ❤️
I have hoarding tendencies. I'm pretty sure mine come from growing up very poor. I really struggle to clean and throw things out, but it's manageable with the help of my closest friend. He helps me, and always asks before throwing something out. Yesterday he helped me clean out my pantry, which was super full of stuff I will never use. Threw out very expired or weevil infested stuff, and donated the excess. It's a very stressful thing to do, sorting and getting rid of things. But he's coming to live with me soon, so we will be able to stay even more on top of it. It's hard, though. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of full blown hoarding some days. I feel like without the help, there would be no saving me, and I don't know how to make the feelings associated with hoarding stop. I have so much anxiety stemming from it as well
It's also an issue of being, having a history of being, or close family history of being poor.
If you don't really have money, you might really want to keep a hold of what you have, because you might need it in the future. Also, you don't really have the funds to waste on buying it again.
And if a family member dies, you now have all of their stuff that you aren't going to throw away, because it used to be their stuff. You are never going to see them ever again. Yeah, most of their stuff didn't matter to them as much, and it probably isn't worth much of anything; however, it used to belong to them.
Thus is exactly it^^^
You can also be wealthy and be a hoarder. Being a hoarder isn't about your income.
I have a lack of motivation to organize. Once it gets to a point I can't accomplish a task is when the area gets cleaned up
Hank I’m sure you’re in a place where you could quit hosting these videos and have them all done by your others, but I’m so glad you still do it
Levi Howell Hank is the best. I prefer him.
I like this man's presentation of these videos. It sounds as if you think its beneath him.
I feel like I could have easily become a hoarder if I didn't catch myself earlier in life. When I was a kid, I would see screws on the ground on my way home and pick it up thinking "surely this will be useful in the future."
Another time walking home, I picked up a stick and swung it around like a sword until I got home, but then I found myself extremely sad that I had to let it go; so instead, I hid it under my bed.
My mom threw away a Mickey Mouse blanket when I was in 1st grade. I was so sad that I went to the apartment dumpster, jumped inside, then brought it back home (my mom was very shocked lol).
Even now I struggle to let things go, but I also HATE clutter so I usually can force myself to throw things away (like a random chewed up USB that may work just in case I lose my current one).
I feel like I had these symptoms because I never had my own personal stuff growing up. Never had my own room, always got hand-me-down clothes, never had my own bed. etc. etc. IF something does become *MINE,* it becomes extremely unique to me and I just have a hard time letting it go. That's probably why I obsess about being "unique" in games with my friends. I'm the guy that says "hey I picked that weapon you better not pick it too!" Or I will deliberately pick a "bad" choice just to not have the same one as my friends.
Brain, weird stuff.
kruton93 what an interesting reflection. I see some things the same. Nothing worse than moms throwing away favourite stuff
Yeah, that happened to me. We were very poor, got very little for Christmas. I had a little wooden crib and a Raggedy Ann & Andy doll and it was all I wanted to keep. But with six kids, you come home from school one day & they're gone.
My sister did the same thing when we shared an apartment. I had artwork from high school. Found it in the trash room. She just decided one day to go to my side of the closet & throw away my drawings/sketchbook. 😔
having something sentimental thrown away as a child is literally the most common trigger for hoarding…for me it was toys.
That 2nd sentence. Damn, the struggle.
I feel like there may be a difference between hoarding and a separate but still potentially dangerous issue of extreme clutter problems. I think there are some people who don't mind throwing things out, they just...don't. Like, it doesn't bother them to part with an object, but they don't mind not bothering to toss it. They skip taking out trash and recyclables, and it builds up in a way that looks like hoarding, but it is psychologically different.
My dad had some hoarding/OCD issues with newspapers. He couldn't throw one out without reading it, even if it was many years old. Stacks rose up to 3 or 4 feet tall. If we threatened to throw them out, he'd get extremely distressed, to the point that he wouldn't think twice about dumpster diving to retrieve his papers; and possibly try to hide them in hopes that we wouldn't toss them. We never managed to get him into therapy, but we did at least manage to get him to cancel the daily paper. Although now, he spends a little too much of the day watching cable news. I don't know how he does it. But he's retired, and I'm not going to try and change his ways. I'm just glad he's not got such a fire-hazard anymore.
Yeah, that's called "depression," as far as not having the motivation to throw stuff out. Your dad sounds like classic OCD or anxiety.
My mom is like that and it drives me crazy. Now clutter makes me feel overwhelmed which makes it harder to actually clean up anything.
We inherited a house with 40 years of accumulated "stuff" in it. Moved in with our "stuff". (We'd sold/cleaned out both our houses, and just took what was left, so, down-sized, but still had "stuff")
Little by little we're chipping away at it. I dream of the day when we actually have the room to entertain and enjoy our lives. I must say though, some days I go downstairs, look around and go back upstairs. 🤷
Good one! One of the great days of my life was when I took about a dozen boxes of stuff that went back about forty years and dropped them into the cruncher. I have been travelling ever since!
I know of one example of a hoarder whos main problem is just making the decision to keep or not. Course he finds it hard to make any decision. I wounder how much that comes into play for others if at all.
My grandpa and dad were/are hoarders and I struggle with it too, it's a good description. I'm currently struggling to let go of empty diaper boxes for Pete's sake, it's ridiculous. I will definitely hoard random trash if given the opportunity, and I have to make a conscious effort to not follow in their footsteps
Stephanie S I have problems with throwing away beautiful boxes, like makeup packaging. My mom and my brother are hoarders too. I love them but they are. I try my best not to hoard and it’s gone fine so far
sabinajoh- I've found minimalism to be a pretty good option for me. It gives me space to place and emotionally release stuff before I toss it, plus it's easy to identify what I'm collecting because it can't blend into normal clutter.
My mother in law lost her parents at a young age, and despite some extended family helping out, she had to be an adult from a very young age. This was compounded by having a slightly younger sister who she defiantly worked her butt off to ensure remained young at heart. They do not have a strong sense of what home and family mean, and thus grew up knowing little stability. Her ~stuff~ is how she measures her safety and stability. It's how she stays anchored in place. She is a brick wall emotionally, as well.
My grandpa went through this in a mild form. He went through the Great Depression and he said his hoarding tendencies stemmed from that (after he passed away we found legal and formal documents dating from the 1940s and 1960s, like housing documents).
this is fascinating... i have ocd and ive always had mild problems with hoarding. but i usually dont have trouble throwing stuff away if its really disruptive or gross
Could it be chronic disorganization? (The hallmark of it is empty shelves, but junk all over the floor, because you can’t decide where to put it.)
lol i keep certain objects in their original box or wrapper and i keep the tags from clothing too, pieces of useless paper, plastic bags of any kind, old useless notebooks, old batteries. I used to keep empty cigarrette boxes, i had an entire *book case* of them but i did have to throw them away because they took a lot of space and i need that space.
Oh god not to mention the fact that i think about and regret throwing whatever i end up throwing, thinking that i could do something with it.
I might not have this thing but its pretty fucked up now that i reflect on it.
Jane S its the fact that im cheap af and think of reusing everything that makes me think i can turn something into something else.
Lol im no artist what are you talking about
I'm a psychologist (training to become a therapist) and during my sessions with my therapist I realized I tend to hoard too much and it's hard for me to throw away stuff. I.live with my grandparents and mother and I notice they have this trait too. A few years ago one of the rooms of the house started getting cluttered and now we can't use it anymore. It's sad :( I went through a decluttering spree last summer but everything is back to how it was before. But everyday I try to throw one spacy thing (a blouse I don't wear anymore, a book I don't like, an empty box of something I don't need, a bag full of something) but gosh, it is hard. Whenever I start I get all anxious and sad and have to stop but thinking about stopping makes it worse sometimes, and then it's sometimes all the mess what makes me feel anxious so it turns into a never ending cycle. Although my room is a livable space, I do hoard stuff too.
RunningRabbit oh, believe me, i understand. My room is a mess tho. Although i like to consider it organised from my point of view, as i know where everything is, it looks like a total mess.
I wonder if one (temporary) way to help a hoarder would be to help them organize/store their stuff. For instance, putting things that can attract bugs into airtight containers or bags, or using shelves for magazines/books, filing cabinets/boxes for papers, etc. Although it just allows the hoarder more room for more stuff, it does help solve the problem of safety and hygiene (and they were going to accumulate more stuff anyway).
Coming to them with respect for their stuff and compassion for their condition might help them open up and seek therapy. And since hoarders seem to have issues with bonding, going through their stuff with them (without judgement - very important) might help strengthen their bond with you and maybe reduce their compulsions a little. Or at least make them feel supported enough to face the stress of therapy.
At the very least, it would help someone who has a very difficult mental illness have a slightly better life.
Yes!
Thank you for giving this video the sensitivity that it deserves- both in title and the content of the video. You humanize those suffering from hoarding disorder in a way that (looking at the comments) people can relate with and understand. That’s tremendously important.
This is why I love bob's Burgers, the Thanksgiving episode where Teddy is revealed to be a hoarder is so spot-on.
I am constantly battling with this. I get a have lots of difficulty throwing things out that are not expressly trash. It also frustrates me to no end that I have all this stuff. Thing is, my interests and hobbies are so many and varied that much of my stuff is things that it use/intend to use. The fight is draining. I've been struggling with getting rid of clothes I don't need right now.
I'm in the same boat in regards to many & varied interests & hobbies. 👍
I'm a mild hoarder. I always hesitates to throw stuffs eventho they are useless. I always kept the wrappers or boxes of things that I bought. It's worse with academical papers since I always thought that I'll use them later eventho the semesters had long passed
700+ games on steam. For no reason. Still have all my childhood trading cards. Keep broken electronics (because I might be able to use them for spare parts). Oh dear..
No worries on the steam games. I think everyone enjoys buying games they will never play... Although there are good deals.
I barely throw stuff away because I do not treasure the object itself but the memories that come with it. I guess that's why I'm so reluctant to throw anything away, and it also makes me afraid of throwing something and then end up regretting ever doing it afterwards :(
I hear ya! But take it from me, you don’t want to let it get outta hand.
My new thing is taking photos of things when I get rid of them. Then I can still look back and remember.
Paddle Duck ooh, that's a great idea, thanks! That could help me a great deal tbh. I've only thought about scanning some of the notes/exams I've kept since high school but that should also help me get rid of more stuff that I haven't thrown away for personal reasons lmao
Years ago I listened to one of Hank’s brother’s books because it had a cool name and happened to be available via my library’s app.
Sort of recently the RUclips algorithm showed me a couple of their other channels but I didn’t make their connection to each other or realize he was the author, .. and now this video.
All that to say, it’s weird I’ve stumbled on this 5 yr old video seemingly randomly and
I think I’ll like this channel.
I have a hard time throwing things away because I feel bad for them. Like I'm hurting a paper plate's feelings by tossing it. If a glass gets broken, I feel hurt for it that it's getting swept up. Just the other day, I was picking out the carrots from my soup because I don't eat them, but then I felt guilty that the carrots didn't get to be eaten like everything else.
I don't know why I give inanimate objects human emotions, but I've been doing it my whole life.
I'm the opposite of that, I have sudden urges to throw almost everything I own away because I'm not using those things at the moment.
a big part of why i personally struggle to throw things away is also because of anxiety over creating unnecessary waste. I grew up poor so throwing something away was really only done if there was no hope of using it anymore. And since I've gotten older and become more environmentally conscious i worry about adding to landfills or throwing something away that could be recycled. for example whenever i use one of those tubes of biscuit dough i will painstakingly peel away the foil lining on the inside just so i can recycle the cardboard
I'm recalling my early childhood when hoarding was a serious problem for me, when my attachment to my things then was deeply personal. To compare, if I disposed of my cats, my feline family that I love and adore, just dumping them off at a shelter or wherever, I could never live with myself. They're a part of me. That's somewhat how I felt about my possessions up until around age 10. Do other hoarders have this kind of attachment to their things?
For me the answer is that it feels like giving up the memory of love, happiness or a moment in time.
Two examples:
One of my son’s middle school report cards: He had good grades, we went to his favorite restaurant and celebrated. He is thirty years old now, he lives thousands of miles away and doesn’t want to have a relationship with me. I haven’t seen him in years. I do not need the report card and plan to throw it away no matter how hard it is.
A book. I read the book to my Aunt while she was dying. I miss her.
It might be tempting to say “keep those two things”. Unfortunately there are thousands more items in my home that I will have to discard even if it is difficult.
Yes, I think it's an emotional attachment to inanimate objects versus attachment to humans. Objects don't hurt you.
There seems little attention paid to the opposite, which I don't know a term for - dysfunctional minimalism? I've known a few people who discard virtually everything, acquire things, discard them, acquire them again, and so on. Things like pots and pans, furniture, things that should be long lasting.
I had a friend with a mom like that. Poor guy would come home to find that his mom had sold off half his toys to the snotty little cousins. Last i heard, he got into drugs. i hope he's ok.
I think it may be a situation that is made worse by nearly everything having a monetary value to other collectors. A person is afraid of tossing something that may be worth money in the long term. I suppose you could term this the "Ebay" syndrome.
Yeah, Ebay. I went through a phase of "buying back my lost childhood" All the toys I couldn't afford when I was young and poor. More sentimental and appreciating beauty than monetary though.
Now I have "collections" 😆 but I've gotten waaay pickier about purchases, and having gone through family members deaths & moves and having to clean out houses I'm better about chucking things I have no use for. I do a "trash", "donate" or "repurpose/reuse" day, it feels like I accomplished something when I'm done. Not perfect, but better. 👍
A while back I met a (now homeless) hoarder whose house had burned down. To him the loss of his stuff was harder to deal with than the trauma of waking up in an already burning bed.
I umm…I’m pretty sure that’s universal? Have you ever met someone who survived a house fire? They are really sad to lose their stuff. I know two people who did and it’s the most traumatic part. I mean, you lose baby pictures, all your clothes, your grandparents last items, medical devices like glasses, any collectibles like a signed baseball, you have to re-buy LITERALLY everything from towels to spoons…THAT’S PRETTY TRAUMATIC. Use your brain lol it’s not a hoarding thing to be sad you lost everything. xD
Was the fire related to his hoarding?
@@samaraisnt why are you responding so heatedly to a 5 year old comment
my dad is a hoarder, I try to keep him grounded and not let him keep too much though my relatives try the same and have, in the past, taken a bad approach to this by forcing his things away from him. To everyone with a family member who is a hoarder, remember that you cant force anything, suddenly throwing things away, selling, or giving away things the hoarder is hording makes them more paranoid, not less likely to horde.
Yes, good advice. It's incredibly cruel to leave the hoarder out of the decision process. Imagine how they'd feel if their spouse did that to them?
I have bad O.C.D. and a mild hoarding habit, and I can attest that they’re definitely not the same thing because I get totally different feelings from both. The thoughts that trigger O.C.D. rituals have *nothing* to do with gauging worth or sentimental value, but those of hoarding do. Awesome video!
My grandmother is a hoarder. She had a traumatic childhood and her family had to leave their home country (Latvia I think) during world war 2. And that was a really hard time for her because she had almost nothing, her family just had to sleep at churches that would be willing to house them. She’s the kindest most selfless person I’ve ever met. Her hoarding problem is quite a big deal though. I’ve only been in her actual house once (they live on the countryside and some other relatives live close to there so I never really need to go in her house) and that’s because we’re somewhat discouraged to go in there because it’s a mess. There is stuff everywhere and it was really hard to get around. It was an interesting experience though. I remember seeing a lot of trash in the kitchen and going upstairs and sitting on the corner of a bed (because, of course most of the bed was covered in stuff) and hearing a radio I couldn’t see. My mom was talking to me about it a bit later and she told me about her having a hard childhood and being very helpless and not owning much and she said that she thinks that’s why she hoards. I love her. She is so kind and so selfless, she was even talking to my mom the other day and said she didn’t want us to go to her funeral because she was afraid the flight there and back would cost too much for us. I really need to appreciate her while she’s still alive, my grandpa (her husband) has died about a year ago so I’m afraid time is starting to run out!
I went to visit a friend of my aunt’s in New York. He had a small but beautiful apartment a block from Lincoln Center - no money issues. His whole apartment was jammed with old square TV’s he’d picked up on the streets, newspapers stacked to the ceiling, old yoghurt containers exploding out of the cabinets. He only collected a few things but he *needed* them. We took a day and cleaned the place - not throwing anything out, just stacking it so he could move through the paths a little better. It was sad to see someone I had thought of as so fortunate - rich enough to live right next to Lincoln Center! And realizing there were other things going on. It did help me realize the difference between my reluctance to let things go and true hoarding - but it also gave me permission to throw out a lot of things I was keeping “in case.”
I feel like my aunt died because of hoarding. She had cancer and didn't pursue any treatment until she was forced when she was incompetent. It had gone on so long and progressed that she died only nine days after she was diagnosed. Years before this, she wanted to move to a retirement home, but said she had to declutter first. She was embarrassed - she had windows closed off, taped black garbage bags over her doors, a small dumpster worth of air fresheners throughout the house, she didn't invite people in, etc. It was awful, because much of the stuff she had was originally things she intended to buy for charity or family (which she did give away - so much so that finances showed she lived in poverty by trying to save others) and there were items left over from her son and husband that passed away. Cleaning out her estate was one of the most heartbreaking things. She deserved so much better - and I feel like I (and everyone) completely failed her in life.
So many get into this disorder started by some drastic or catastrophic loss or losses in their lives and start hanging onto stuff to keep from losing again and again and to insulate them from the world by stuff. It does not help but it usually starts with trauma and great loss.
My ex was a hoarder. She was a very nice, kind woman but she had a hard time throwing things out. Majority of the things she hoarded were beauty magazines, things from her childhood, clothes, and makeup. Majority of the stuff she hoarded she never used but I could never throw it out because she would get mad saying she will use them one day. It only got worse when her father passed away back in 2012. She got really depressed and kept every single item he had, even pieces of wood from when her father was a carpenter. Before we broke up I had helped her threw her hoarding by targeting her anxiety and insecurity, which I felt were the reasons why she was a hoarder. I still check on her from time to time and she's slowly learning to let things go.
Stuff triggers memories. Having time-blindness and ADHD, sometimes I lose my memories in the chaos and things help connect me to here.
I once talked to a hoarder and realized that certain hoarders hoard mostly useful things in order to use them in one of their projects. Subconsciously they think they can avoid death because they still have so many projects to complete.
That is a very interesting and profound theory. I am the opposite, I am not quite a hoarder in the gross way but with clothes, paperwork. ADD, depression, ruminating OCD, anxiety was full on and I was never taught how to organize from my hoarding parents. I asked them, they were never taught. Grandma was a controlling minimalist and would clean up take away food before the person was done with it. However, my messy house has stopped me from having people over and stopped me from un-aluving because I didn't want to leave a hoarding mess. I am in a much better place now and am working through my issues and starting to sort.
Hoarding *dishoarder*
Also, where are Muscle Hank and Chain Saw Hank?
HojozVideos Muscle Hank should be called Hunk
miriam Yes... just yes!
Very useful, thank you SciShow. Just knowing about it and seeing how loads of people live with it and are okay talking about it and about how this goes on in their families, motivates me to work on my own hoarding tendencies and be at peace with my parents'. xD
I created a hoarder scale (Based on the hurricane scale) because of my mom. She is an H2 Hoarder... she likes her knick knacks and she likes to rebuild furniture. To her credit, she does sell the furniture regularly, but my dad is a P3 Purger and gets rid of the junk faster than she can build it up. I'm about an H1 Hoarder and I'm working on losing my emotional connection with my stuff. I lean a little on the OCD side so I can see that, but i'm not bad. My better half is a crazy P4 Purger and is bringing me to minimalism quickly. As long as a Hoarder has a higher level Purger as a life partner, you can maintain a sane lifestyle.
I AM a hoarder with collector tendencies. I am specific about what I seek out and hold onto. But i have A LOT of it, and some spaces are overrun with it currently. I can sort out trash like cups and wrappers and those never get saved. I don't save junkmail, either. But I will absolutely hold onto broken electronics and such in volume and have for most of my life at this point. What the reason is for me is i HATE throwing out old things because I can't stand the kind of stuff I've seen at stores over the past decade or so. I pick up extra so I have it for later just in case something happens to the one I'm currently using. On the flip side, its caused me to learn about repair and maintenance of these items because of my paranoia of running out. Even the stuff that others would say "isn't worth fixing", I will absolutely fix. I've learned to live with this way I am and I actually quite like it. I have a home filled with my favorite stuff, and extra with more coming all the time, and because of that I actually gift stuff to friends that I feel they'd like. And fortunately I've surrounded myself with people who are into the kind of stuff I am so its received well and they know its been cared for. The only thing better than the current set-up is one with a lot more space in a world where this stuff is still made in large quantities the way it was then.
What I've realized in recent years is that in old movies a lot of the special effects that predate CGI would be accomplished by utilizing components of existing objects and components of such. I am an artist and filmmaker and that stuff is absolutely my jam so the stuff that's so far gone and irredeemably broken I've taken to utilizing in this way. I make it sound and I make it look the way I want it and if it work at all I make it work. Wouldn't ya know it people will pay a bunch of cash for something like that after I finish shooting with it so alls well that ends well I suppose....
I've always had a hard time parting with things, right from childhood onward. I was abused horribly in school, and home was my safe place. I guess I hang on to things at home because I can control them here, and I couldn't control what happened to me as a child in school.
So, I'm not a hoarder, I just haven't cleaned in a while.
I enjoy watching those hoarding shows. It motivates me to tidy up my place.
A lot of them have this mindset of, "I'll use it for something eventually."
But it really is just better to throw extra stuff away.
If you don't have a specific container for stuff, you're basically in a tight spot. Where you either have to choose between Space, or your items.
I've gotten a lot worse over the years. It has gotten to the point where I can't keep the place clean. One thing for sure is that I have been obsessing over a custom bicycle I've been designing and building. I have been living that dream to the exclusion of most everything else. Recently, I packed up the bike parts so I can reclaim the space I need to live. I've been waiting for a call from a machine shop when they're ready to put the thing together...and waiting...and not living well.
I used to deliver pizza and I saw a lot of hoarding. I remember one place that was lined with stacks of newspapers and stank of the dog's urine. I've also seen hoarding in cars. I would not want to be in a collision with 1000 lbs of newspapers stacked everywhere. There needs to be a hoarder support group that goes around cleaning up. I suspect that hoarders would sooner clean up another hoarder's place than their own.
I'm not sure how this hoarding thing works, but I wonder if it stems back to violence in my childhood. My mom and my brother were the most violent. They had a twisted, sadistic synergy. I didn't want to lift a finger for those abusing me, and I remember my mom screaming about housework. Maybe that's noteworthy.
I definitely have hoarding tendencies and have to check myself about holding onto things in case I "need them later". The later need never comes and you just end up with too much stuff. I've been able to break this pattern by doing decluttering once a year and just buying less crap overall 👍
My dad was a hoarder... as an adult I have been - if anything - a minimalist. Ever since the recession, however and then some other life upheavals, I am struggling with getting rid of something I may need down the road (resource guarding) Especially with inflation and the state of the world. To look at my house it probably looks only slightly cluttered to most... but I see the clutter creeping in. (doesnt help that new home has no storage)
As a child, I watched my house burn down on live television and although we got a lot of things over time (particularly thanks to groups like the Red Cross), we lost everything. I've only just recently gotten better at throwing things away and keeping organized. As a child and teen, I had extreme difficulty throwing anything out and it was to the point where I would hide tissues and wrappers and have constant friction with my mother who was compulsively organized and threw lots of stuff out. I wouldn't say it was to the degree that it qualified as a disorder, but my life is a lot better since I've overcome that tendency.
I wonder if it counts in video games... I am definitely a hoarder in wow, collecting everything in someone's bank until I run out of room and I finally break down and auction it all off...
FlesHBoX I've been hoarding in WoW since 2004. My banks on all of my toons are quite a mess and I have a guild for the extra bank space called Pack Rats and I have like 7 bank tabs and still struggle for space. I also have multiple tailors so that my toons can all have 30 slot bags. It's not my fault though, they keep adding more and more crap to the game. lol
My homes and inventory in Skyrim are always packed full.
Its called being lazy
did you watch the video? lmao
Lazy? Not really,(in some ways) I've got like 50 ultimate healing potions in my inventory. Am I going to need them? Probably not, but I like to keep a few on hand just in case! :P
I think I have mild hoarding. I have a problem with keeping stuff I don’t necessarily need in case I need it again (I have school notes from the past few years for example). I CAN throw things out if I take the time to go through everything but it’s very stressful. Luckily it’s nothing gross like I don’t keep old food around or anything but my apartment gets messy very very quickly just with papers and other clutter piling up.
One indicator of hoarding is conflict with loved ones (or friends) regarding the condition of your home. In fact, some such conflicts actually just reflect a difference of opinion on lifestyle philosophy. Some people are so-called minimalists and have rather bare spaces whereas others like a lot of things and collections: clothes, shoes, books, furniture, arts and crafts - and perhaps a shortage of living space. A homeless person, at the extreme, easily becomes a hoarder as his backpack or shopping cart overflows quickly with unmanageable savings.
I wish there was more discussion about hoarding light, because my mom and the majority of her 12 siblings were pack rats and had lots of compulsive behaviors but wouldn't necessarily have qualified for the show "hoarders ."
My mom was organized about her overabundance and she was clean. She wouldn't keep garbage, although she might organize it obsessively before discarding it and that still impacted my life tremendously. She had no regard for how her crap affected the other people in the home. If there wasn't a clear table to use or a cleared off chair other than her own she didn't care. She would spend tons of energy washing and drying pop cans, an operation that made it hard to navigate the kitchen and when we complained about the pop can operation she would just get pissy. No amount on logic that the clean cans will end up with the sticky cans at the recycling center could get her to stop. She was a shopaholic. She was addicted to TV, she set up camp in the main part of the home with the TV on 24/7 eventhough she could have set up camp in a spare bedroom. And when I didn't want to ever live in her house again after college she thought I was a brat for it. Like why would I live with your crap everywhere? So many women of her generation I think had a lot of childhood neglect and lack and it caused so much mental illness as adults. My mother in law is a bit the same way, she can't part with stuff.
Well... I better accumulate trash than friends. People usually disappoint me, whilst trash never acts unexpectedly.
MusiCanines - The Musical Dogs it depends. Trash sometimes can be poisonous or catch fire by itself.
In addition to what AltSysRqSync said, trash can encourage critters to move in with you, which may either degrade the integrity of your home, or, may carry pathogens.
I hope this is a joke
Spiffo I'd never joke about such serious matter.
Until the roaches move in
I went through a hoarding spell of three years where trash and stuff accumulated in my room and completely surrounded my bed. Garbage and things were window-high, and crept onto either side of my queen-sized bed. Adding things to the piles would cause an avalanche of crap. I'm happy to be free of that now. Yes, I do have OCD. (I also have ADD, GAD, and depression.)
I did home repair for 2 hoarders. One of them owned multiple properties that he rented. One of the properties was a nice 5 room ranch house which he lived in for a while. He moved out because every room was filled with junk from floor to ceiling. He moved into his original home which was more of a warehouse than a home. It was huge and again, filled with junk. Cases of 20 year old caulking that were hard, etc. He admitted that he had lost well over one million dollars in rent because the place were not rentable.
The second was a 70 year old woman who had a mobile in a park. It was almost impossible to move in there as newspapers and magazines were piled floor to ceiling. As I worked on the home she told me she owned a house but moved out because there was no room. I visited the house, it was beautiful, nice big lot, swimming pool, but the house was filled from floor to ceiling in every room, including all counter space, bath tubs, toilets, every inch of space was filled so she moved out and bought the trailer which was now also filled. Even these people's cars only had room for the driver, every other seat or empty space was filled with junk. I hate clutter and throw out stuff all the time.
hearing that it gets worse with age is... rough. I'm 20 and have a serious hoarding problem that goes back generations. Definitely identify with people in the comments who feel excessive empathy for objects, like I identify with discarded objects and want to be cared for and valued the way I value them. For me, the harder part to talk myself out of comes from climate and waste anxiety. Like if it leaves the house it's just going to a landfill which isn't any better. And when I don't have the energy to sort out recycling it would be better not to throw anything out. Also, every once in awhile I genuinely get a lot of joy out of rediscovering old toys from my childhood or magazines and discarded sewing projects that my grandmother never threw out and my mom still keeps in boxes. It's stuff like that that makes getting help difficult because my situation is so obviously dysfunctional that it's hard to find a therapist who can meet me where I'm at and validate that it's importance to me is real.
for quite some time I had a very difficult time of letting go of stuff. Luckily though I recognised that this was a problem and got the necessary help. In my case the root was partially based in anxiety. Knowing that helped me work through that distorted image of things
could you please make a video about derealization/depersonalization, especially the chronic kind?
Łukasz B I have that and it really sucks.
I’m 62 and have been a hoarder for a long time. Last year, I decided to clean out my house a little each day. Kind of like, leave the house a little more livable each day. I represent the opposite of what you said about hoarding getting worse with age. I’ll explain why after this next paragraph.
For me, papers were always the worst, which the electronic options for banking and other potentially sensitive info helpfully not adding more paper to the pile. I develop intense interest in certain things and accumulate too much stuff associated with that, before getting into something else. I didn’t lose interest in the previous stuff, but figured I’d get back to it later and already had what I needed to explore it. This, also, has been helped by electronics. I don’t get 25 physical books on calligraphy because they would never be in the library, so I ‘had’ to get them all to know which one would be right for me.
Now that I’m nearing retirement, I looked at my stuff and realize that I won’t get back to some interests and so I am getting rid of that stuff (anybody need some calligraphy books, lol). My goal is to have my house back to normal by the time I reach 65. I won’t get rid of all the DVDs I’ve accumulated, though if they’ve been on streaming for a while, I might. But I will get rid of the excess wires (cable, phone, HDMI, etc.), realizing that In won’t ever need them again. Ditto for clothes I haven’t worn and everything else. I’ve made great strides by doing a little each day to get rid of the baggage of my mental eccentricities. As life gets toward the later stages, it has added to my sense of what I will get back to, and what I won’t.
I have OCD among other things and I am also a hoarder, it didn't help that when I was younger my mother would just throw my objects away and snap at me. It wasn't until my aunt decided to intervene that my hoarding got better. She would sit down with me for hours and days, go through each item and let me make a choice of what to do with it. I hoard things from cards to boxes and even clothes. Something I've noticed personally for myself as a hoarder is that if I know that the things I have will go to donation and straight to other peoples it makes it slightly easier for me to let go of more stuff but if its going to the trash I get full blown panic attack over it and feel extremely guilty.
About donation, I have the same feeling. I feel it's wasteful that a perfectly working thing will be destroyed when it goes to the trash. What has helped me is to just list these items online for free. If no one takes the item in 6 months then it is truly useless and I don't feel bad tossing it.