BREAKING DOWN THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND TOXIC FAMILY MIND-GAMES
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Toxic family mind-games are cruel.
Playing with your mind or playing psychological mind-games is a very evil and methodical tactic employed by those who care nothing about its effect on you.
Mind-games are ploys targeted at reducing your ability to "stay on top" of things, understand your environment or the interaction with the person playing the mind-game, and defeat anything that person may be doing to you.
When you are blindsided you are most weak.
Mind-games are often used by evil individuals looking to overcome you in some form or fashion.
Would you know them if you saw them?
Would you be able to point out such family members?
In this live chat, I discuss the psychology of mind-games toxic family may play on you.
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#trauma #tamarahilllpc #TOXICFAMILY
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DISCUSSED IN THIS CHAT:
9:23 mind-games help gain dominance
11:45 interpersonal manipulation
13:00 COMMON TACTICS/MIND-GAMES
21:31 parents who condition kids through mind-games
25:00 "is it a mind-game or lack of skill or maturity?"
27:52 the "job" of guilt-trips
33:50 when anger plays a role
34:50 HOW THESE PEOPLE BEHAVE
59:16 HOW TO OUTSMART THEM
*discussion in-between content
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Mentioned In The Video (research & further information):
1. The Co-Development of Relational Aggression and Disruptive Behavior Symptoms from Late Childhood through Adolescence
www.ncbi.nlm.n...
2. Differential parenting and sibling jealousy: Developmental correlates of young adults' romantic relationships
www.ncbi.nlm.n...
3. Parenting Characteristics and Callous-Unemotional Traits in Children Aged 0-6 Years: A Systematic Narrative Review
link.springer....
4. The Heritability of Callous and Unemotional Traits
www.psychology...
5. Psychological Games: How Mind Works
mantracare.org....
6.Untangling the concept of coercive control: Theorizing domestic violent crime
journals.sagep...
7. 15 Signs of Mind Games in a Relationship
www.marriage.c...
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicideprevent....
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 15 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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Stay tuned for the live chatbox! Always the best part. RUclips will make it available for you to see within 12hrs of this live chat ending.
Thank you
You're welcome!
I feel everything u said. I'm the youngest in my family. My mother made my older sisters responsible for me. They resented me for that. It wasn't my fault. I appreciate them for feeding me, combing my hair & helping me dress for school. My mother was just a hateful woman. I started distancing myself from my DNA Relatives about 30 yrs ago. I felt like it was for the safety of myself & my children. It's really been freeing. I don't have to have walls up. They appear to be on guard around me & I have my guards up around them. Nothing I've ever done was good enough for those ungrateful ppl. No matter how I tried to show them gratitude. I thank GOD everyday for having my back & showing me true love!!!
Mind games don't work on me, the minute I feel that you don't want me around, I'm not. And nothing on earth can drag me back. 😂😂😂
Words to live by w toxic ppl .. your happiness is their misery & your misery is. Their happiness.
My sister just retired she was a teacher and then she became a vice principal and she's always worked at elementary schools in high poverty areas where many of the children came from very difficult backgrounds a lot of the students that my sister worked with we're in foster care or were kids that got taken away from their parents or kids that their parents were drug addicts etc and my sister said she spent so much of her time because she was a vice principal she had to deal with the kids that were in trouble so to speak. She told me once that she literally spent the majority of her time just hugging the child who was sent to her office because that's literally what they needed yes they were sent to her office because they had done something wrong or supposedly bad but they were angry and she knew that. It made me cry to know that there are elementary kids going to school so stressed out because of what's going on in their life and no one knows and they're labeled as like troubled kids and and it's so sad and it's also sad if they get taken away from their parents and said to CPS because that's not good either I just think the whole thing is so sad and my sister was a great teacher and really cared about her students and never did it for the money and more teachers should be acknowledged for the good work they do that's all I know
Tamara, this was absolutely necessary.
The methods to outsmart others who play mind games, chief being non-engagement, are such peace retainers.
Not worth the energy. Let people be ridiculous in their own circus. I'm not paying for a ticket.
😂absolute.
I really have been having a hard time accepting the fact the my family is toxic and I have to be non contact with all of them. It’s so disheartening and lonely. I’m the oldest only daughter and my mother hated me her hate for me allowed others to think it was okay to hate me as well.
I completely understand that. You are not alone.
That's why a lot of people find my channel after walking away from family. It's not an easy decision to make but once one comes into a place of self-awareness and some form of acceptance of the toxic family dynamic, it's easier to navigate life after that. But until then, it's hard and that's to be expected. You're not alone.
I came to analise my family for the past few years . What i thought was a good upprunging i realised was not even though they tried.
I realised my family might have a strong narcistic traits.
My aunt was always the one to blame on - wrong husband. Bad kids . But my dad was on pedestal.
When my mum in comunism went to France and my dad did not follow ( because she actually did something wrong) they said ' mum just left you'.
I lived all my life believing in 'mum just left you' when in reality she fought 15 years to get us back and finally died of cancer.
The worst part is confronting my dad . My identity. Who am i. I was actually always ordered. Never asked what i want.
It is a whole tip of an iceberg
I know what you mean. My mom told me she hates my dad.
Same here!
@@thegypsyleo6 me too
I go back and forth from feeling like I'm enabling to having guilt for not showing enough love or giving enough time.
I believe it! That's a hard one and a lot of people feel this way.
Change the way you're thinking. Alowing someone to behave this way isn't loving. Not enabling them is refusing to support their toxicity.
making money moves That’s what is going on 😝
Try to stop feeling guilty. Guilt can destroy you.
I have been doing that too for years
Very pertinent topic for me right now. after giving her(my sister) and my brother numerous chances, after years and years of the same thing happening, I had to go no contact. You were talking about triangulation and that is what was happening with me. They have an ally in each other and she tried to get close to me, all the while discussing personal things with my brother. It's so difficult because as a good intentioned person, such as I am, the hooks get planted and when she pulled a 360 on me recently, it was hurtful and baffling. I decided to go no contact.....I blocked their numbers. She and my brother have done things to the family without taking accountability and I especially, gave them chances. She created self doubt in me and I finally saw it for what it is.
Are these mind games… provocation so the target will respond emotionally… making them look mentally unstable… along with exploitation… more sociopathic… or is this typical of most narcissists?
This is a good question! I would say it depends on the person and the circumstance. That's a hard call to make.
Just chiming in, it is what you wrote and also..to break you down....however you slice it,,it s abuse...to destablize you to gain power...These people are spiritually sick.....more than mentally sick ,in my opinon.
You might get some good answers to your questions via videos put out by Dr. Ramani. There definitely is something called "narcissistic baiting" she discusses (as do several other psychotherapists with YT channels), and that might be what you're describing. Best wishes!
Guilt trip is a skill people use to manipulate you
I had a short term friendship with someone who did all of these mind games to me.
Examples include, I really had to talk about something-she usually had the air time so I was specific to say I had to process something, and we met at a coffee shop and she rail roaded the entire conversation with small talk and BS and every time I tried to shift, she would go back to her.
When she finally let me start talking about what I needed to talk about, she pulled out her phone and started openly and obviously scrolling online. No eye contact.
That was the first red flag.
Another one, which made me finally decide to end it was she invited me to lunch-made it a point to say “I want to treat you to lunch” bc I got a job-then when we went to check out, she asked for separate checks and paid for hers, not mine.
I was so confused and wasn’t going to stand there and beg but I said never again.
Here's To Authentic Safety
The covert type narcissist will always play the victim. They love playing the blame game. Good discussion about manipulative narcissists.
I needed this. I dont know why but Fathers day brings the weirdos out of the woodwork.
These people HATE not winning, and the best way to win is not reacting. The longer you're calm and unbothered, the bigger they blow up. After so long, they get sick of being the loser and stop.
If I get glee when this happens, does that mean I have Macheivillianism? 😅
Oooooh good question! I feel a bit evil about it too :/
Just means you can observe without absorbing their own energy. That's a good thing too.
You are just doing ' self preservation ', smart👍
My stomach is turning hearing it, well put in words, hard to make sense of it.
Their mind games come with lies and taking, comforting that I stopped responding, when nothing works, but I feel like the damage is deeper that they got away with so much. Working on healing trauma bond still, it’s been over a year. I was so traumatized I never did a police report he cleaned out my valuables from family, in storage and garage, filled it with junk for dumping. Don’t react take your time deciding what to do To outsmart them
I learned today about circular reasoning, covert intimidation and word intimidation! Intentional mind game identification
The heartbreak is, if u feel theres reason to think about them that way,,,in the back of the mind it hurts to HAVE to perceive them that way. The good thing is, no one can perceive ME that way, so, its really a ONE-WAY MIND GAME! Smh
LORD!!!!!!!This was good. Glued the whole time. 😜
Interesting: coercive manipulation.
Sadly they only like compliments on their flesh vessel - not have any innerstanding that their emotions impact their snark ass attitude. 😮😅
My husband closes his eyes when I try to hold a conversation with him. However, his friends always come first, he tries to micro manage me, THAT dosen't work on me! I'm sick of it!
start saving money, emotionally break-up with him, work on not caring. keep wacthing these type of videos for your confirmation, he will feel the energy shift and when he ask what's wrong close your eyes and respond. NOTHING.
@@angelagholson4988 and when she says “NOTHING” say it with closed eyes. It’s a language he should understand.
This is all great to practice! Good suggestions.
@@angelagholson4988 I started doing that today. Last night he started bitching about me intervening while he was watching a game show, he said "there's 5 minutes til the game is over!" Once the game was over, he asked me a question, I said "nop[e! treat me like crap, don't expect a parade from me". Then I got up and walked away.
You just spoke on me and my mother and her side of the family. I take full responsibility of my actions with the circle of guilt tripping. I distance myself today. Instead of continuing a negative pattern. Thank you 🎁🙂
You're welcome! That's great. Perspective is everything.
Vampires....
Agree. Very tiring people.
My mother will actually close her eyes and start nodding like she has narcolepsy. It’s so annoying and disrespectful. But she’s alert if it’s new information she hasn’t heard. Other times she’s eavesdropping and will bring up what she overheard to let me know she heard me. Very manipulative, and she’s 71 smh. I don’t even respond to triggers with her anymore. Then she plays the victim because I don’t talk to her anymore. I regret letting her move in. I never go in her room. But she uses the excuse of my daughter visiting to come into my room. I have at times told her to please leave. You know I don’t want you in my room. She gets angry and curses me. Whatever
I forgot it was today will listen later for any tips, the gaslighting.
Hope it will be helpful!☺
Thank You so much Tamara ❤ All of your videos are amazing and help us to heal from what our families have put us through. It has been the main focus of my mom and G.C. sister to make sure I never feel good about myself. Now I know what they both were trying to do....use their mind games to dismantle me. Since I was 11yrs old and first happily told my mom that my cousin said I was pretty, my mom sat me down and told me..." You may be cute, but you are not pretty. People use that word too much". I grew up believing this. One day just a few years ago, she began tearing down my appearance again. I replied..." Mom why are you the only one who makes fun of my looks? People are saying I am your pretty daughter". Mom said with a smirk....." You're NOT the pretty daughter, you just think you are". I cried and she just kept sitting there with the smirk. Then she triangulated the situation by calling the sibling I was closest to and told my sibling..." Your sister just came in and declared herself to be the beauty of the family". This angered my sibling towards me. I explained to my sibling that I only said that after years of mom's insults and the insults she kept saying that day. My mom turned the closest sibling against me just like she turned G.C. against me. Mom & G.C.'s mind games were powerful. Whenever anyone complimented me in front of G.C., she'd smile, then when the person who complimented me would leave the room, G.C. would turn around and tell me...." I am number one, NOT you. I am the pretty one, not you". She whispered this to her toddler to tell me too. I had to stay away. She has told lies saying I bully her and that I started everything when I know I didn't. She copies EVERYTHING I do. Someone once told her that she looks like me. She turned to the mirror and said..." I AM her". Mom and her are/ were cruel. A family member reported them to a Minister. The Minister asked them to stop the abuse. They didn't listen. I am no contact for almost 2 yrs now. Thank You Tamara. I watch your videos every week. They are powerful.
😢😢😢😢😊
Thank You so much Tamara Hill.
You are so welcome!!
My gosh - feminine stand point with more to share than her own story
If they can't change the way you see things or Perceive reality, Then they try to influence how you feel . They will generally tell you how you feel.
The game player is and has been my 16 year old son!My trigger is him calling me names, and dropping f bombs, and I get upset every time, because years ago I had an ex that called me names, but what mom wouldn't be upset if there kid talked to them in such a horrible way, if I ignore he wins if I don't ignore and say shomthing, and become upset, then he wins too (usually what happens)
I can imagine your pain and frustration. I’ve raised my teen very badly and she’s now so disgusting and rebellious, I just wish I could go back and not have had her 😔. She’s 19 now and playing games with me, I told her I’m no longer her mum and she can leave. I would ignore your son and then calmly tell him later on that he can get ready to pack up and go his way if this happens again.
Anyways, wish you all the best.
Your content is amazing! Don’t always have time watch your videos but when I do it’s like a breath of fresh air! You’re an amazing human! Full of love. From the heart 🙏
Through the grace of God I have the ability to see through others so it’s kind of hard for someone to take me for a ride but have also learnt to deal with certain situations with great advice you give.
Have a very toxic sibling who does everything you describe in this video and more! She knows she can’t manipulate me but unfortunately our mother is her weapon. She works on her behalf which makes it hard at times. She uses our mother to sway our father and as smart and switched on as he can be he falls into the cycles on and off which also makes it difficult at times but that’s when your wisdom has come into play and helped me neutralise situations and help my other siblings in so many ways.
Please keep up the good work peace and love from the Land down under ♥️
Some sayings that have helped me:
On the Heart:
I am amazed at the heart of man: It possesses the substance of wisdom as well as the opposites contrary to it ... for if hope arises in it, it is brought low by covetousness: and if covetousness is aroused in it, greed destroys it. If despair possesses it, self piety kills it: and if it is seized by anger, this is intensified by rage. If it is blessed with contentment, then it forgets to be careful; and if it is filled with fear, then it becomes preoccupied with being cautious. If it feels secure , then it is overcome by vain hopes; and if it is given wealth, then its independence makes it extravagant. If want strikes it, then it is smitten by anxiety. If it is weakened by hunger, then it gives way to exhaustion; and if it goes too far in satisfying its appetites, then its inner becomes clogged up. So all its shortcomings are harmful to it, and all its excesses corrupt it.
If man loves a thing, he becomes blind to its defects, his mind is predisposed to its favor, his sight and hearing lose the power of seeing and hearing realities, and he cannot tolerate to see or hear anything against the object of his devotion.
The biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who doesn't care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on discussions that make no sense. There are people who, for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand. Others who are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t.
The moment you start arguing with an ignorant fool, you have already lost.
The greatest ignorance for man is his ignorance of his own self.
Things are not always what they seem, the first appearance deceives many, the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.
“At the extremity of hardships comes relief, and at the tightening of the chains of tribulations comes ease”
There is no rest for the person who has envy, and there is no love for the person who has bad manners.
He who busies himself with matters other than improvement of his own self becomes perplexed in darkness and entangled in ruin. His dark inner self immerse him deep in vices and make his bad actions seem handsome
When you are afraid of something, dive straight into it, because the intensity of abstaining from it is greater than what your are afraid of.
Do not let your difficulcies fill you
with anxiety after all.
it is only in the darkest nights
that the stars shine more brightly.
Patience is the key to victory."
"There is no victory for the one who has no patience.
Victory comes through firm resolution and determination.
Success is the result of foresight and resolution, foresight depends upon deep thinking and planning, and the most important factor of planning is to keep your secrets to yourself.
"People are like waves of the ocean, some cover you with tides of refreshment, whilst others drown you in floods of turmoil"
he who has no control over his Tongue will often have to face discomfort
When one door closes,
a thousand other doors will open
"Be soft,
but do not be weak."
Do not shoot an arrow, that you are unable to turn back.
It is wiser to abstain than to repent.
Forgot to add have shared you with so many people who also really appreciate what you do.
Thank you so much for this! I'm glad this is helpful. Grateful to hear it has impacted you in some way. 🤗
I hope you have found some peace outside of this family dynamic. It can feel like a lifetime for some people to find solace.
And I'm sure, also, someone will be able to relate to the things you shared in this comment.
I always wondered why it seemed my brother was playing a game with my perception and passions.
I'm so grateful you're here saying "there is a thing called "mind games" 😅, I should've known!
I wanted to share some info on psychopathic stare. I believe you did a video talking about it.
I'd like to recommend a video done by Dr. Todd Grande on RUclips on "Sociopathic Stare."
He mentions it being called "fearless dominance" and brings up how Dr. Robert Hare noticed a look that would prelude bad behavior.
Another thing about that is while research is lacking, the stare is used widely is cinema and animation. Joker's smile, The Grinches grin, a villain's madness.
Be well and thanks for the info. I am an amateur psych fan who really got into child development so I appreciate your channel and what you try to do by helping these families. Your info is very spot on. The people I grew up with made me want to understand why people can be so purposefully cruel to even family and smile over the ruins of their nearest kin.
Yet it's just a part of my passion which is in most of the humanity fields such as yourself. Sociology, religions, history, anthropology. Behavior fascinates me I guess!
I escaped mine last Wednesday but the police who was contacted by mother for me going no contact with her, found out where I live and the police contacted my landlord yesterday. Now I have alot of explaining to do unfortunately.
Soon as you see something a little off! Start to part company to shut it down. Best way to deal with the mind gamer is to keep your opinions to yourself. Never tell anyone anything that could hurt you in any way. The less you say the better off you are. Concentrate on yourself and what you have to do in this life. Trust no one except God.
Thank You so much Tamara ❤ All of your videos are amazing and help us to heal from what our families have put us through. It has been the main focus of my mom and G.C. sister to make sure I never feel good about myself. Now I know what they both were trying to do....use their mind games to dismantle me. Since I was 11yrs old and first happily told my mom that my cousin said I was pretty, my mom sat me down and told me..." You may be cute, but you are not pretty. People use that word too much". I grew up believing this. One day just a few years ago, she began tearing down my appearance again. I replied..." Mom why are you the only one who makes fun of my looks? People are saying I am your pretty daughter". Mom said with a smirk....." You're NOT the pretty daughter, you just think you are". I cried and she just kept sitting there with the smirk. Then she triangulated the situation by calling the sibling I was closest to and told my sibling..." Your sister just came in and declared herself to be the beauty of the family". This angered my sibling towards me. I explained to my sibling that I only said that after years of mom's insults and the insults she kept saying that day. My mom turned the closest sibling against me just like she turned G.C. against me. Mom & G.C.'s mind games were powerful. Whenever anyone complimented me in front of G.C., she'd smile, then when the person who complimented me would leave the room, G.C. would turn around and tell me...." I am number one, NOT you. I am the pretty one, not you". She whispered this to her toddler to tell me too. I had to stay away. She has told lies saying I bully her and that I started everything when I know I didn't. She copies EVERYTHING I do. Someone once told her that she looks like me. She turned to the mirror and said..." I AM her". Mom and her are/ were cruel. A family member reported them to a Minister. The Minister asked them to stop the abuse. They didn't listen. I am no contact for almost 2 yrs now. Thank You Tamara. I watch your videos every week. They are powerful.
❤❤❤
Thanks so much for the video ❤
No problem 😊Thanks for watching!
Excellent advice, so much needed, helps everyone. Older woman here, there were no names for these behaviours years ago. Thank you Tamara, your mam is a wise woman. ❤❤❤
You're welcome and thanks so much!! That's great to hear. ☺
So glad this intentional mind games verses lack of skills is spoken of. I can see this in my mother as having both.
Again a younger relative used mind. games. Thanks Tamara, a very enlightening and helpful session Carol
I'm so glad I'm now connected to your channel. The discussion on mind games was interesting and fascinating. I've been dealing with it within my family (estranged half sister's and a brother) for many year's.. Thank you very much for your professional advice of "do not respond" I thought of protecting my feeling's by doing this but wasn't sure. Thx for confirming what I was thinking. Coercive control is so real..especially within the family. I hope to catch a live program on this channel one of these day. 🙂
I'm glad to have you aboard! Welcome. Hope you can catch a live chat! Those are the most rewarding for me because of connecting with all of you.
And you're welcome. I had to learn that myself over the years in personal and professional relationships. It's a wisdom and calm you develop over time.
"Covert intimidations" best describes what Atty Little did to me in order to keep me in place of his manipulation power and control.
Thank You so much Tamara ❤ All of your videos are amazing and help us to heal from what our families have put us through. It has been the main focus of my mom and G.C. sister to make sure I never feel good about myself. Now I know what they both were trying to do....use their mind games to dismantle me. Since I was 11yrs old and first happily told my mom that my cousin said I was pretty, my mom sat me down and told me..." You may be cute, but you are not pretty. People use that word too much". I grew up believing this. One day just a few years ago, she began tearing down my appearance again. I replied..." Mom why are you the only one who makes fun of my looks? People are saying I am your pretty daughter". Mom said with a smirk....." You're NOT the pretty daughter, you just think you are". I cried and she just kept sitting there with the smirk. Then she triangulated the situation by calling the sibling I was closest to and told my sibling..." Your sister just came in and declared herself to be the beauty of the family". This angered my sibling towards me. I explained to my sibling that I only said that after years of mom's insults and the insults she kept saying that day. My mom turned the closest sibling against me just like she turned G.C. against me. Mom & G.C.'s mind games were powerful. Whenever anyone complimented me in front of G.C., she'd smile, then when the person who complimented me would leave the room, G.C. would turn around and tell me...." I am number one, NOT you. I am the pretty one, not you". She whispered this to her toddler to tell me too. I had to stay away. She has told lies saying I bully her and that I started everything when I know I didn't. She copies EVERYTHING I do. Someone once told her that she looks like me. She turned to the mirror and said..." I AM her". Mom and her are/ were cruel. A family member reported them to a Minister. The Minister asked them to stop the abuse. They didn't listen. I am no contact for almost 2 yrs now. Thank You Tamara. I watch your videos every week. They are powerful.
That's great! Thank you so much and I'm really glad these videos are helpful. It's humbling to hear they have impacted you this way.
And I'm sorry you have gone through this. No one wants to be in a "family battle" against their parent and sibling. That's the last thing we, as a society, would think we would have to battle with. The dynamic is certainly unhealthy so I don't blame you for walking away. It's a sad option but you have to do what keeps you healthy and steady.
Love your videos!!! They help me so much with some of my own learned behaviors and others.
I'm so glad! Thank you!
I love your full and super healthy hair line!! ✨💫
hahahaha! Thank you!
👍🏻👍🏾❤️🩹💝♥️
You're amazing, and I would love to hear you discuss the "psychology of hoarder" one day. I thank you in advance and just know how much this helps🤗
Thank you so much!! And you're welcome. I will certainly consider that.
Wow! You just described my son,you sounded just like him," no that was lastweek" wow! Thank you so much for this
You are so welcome!!
I kniw that's frustrating too 😒
I appreciate you your channel and your support your community offers you have helped me transform my anger resentment into power and propel me forward God bless you my dear
Thank you so much!🙏 I'm very glad to hear this and I'm glad this channel has been helpful to you too. May God bless you on your journey.
50:28 going through the same thing.😢
So sorry😔
Only 18 mins into it you hit it on the head
Evening everyone happy weekend In advance thanks for your video
Same to you!! Thank you. ☺
You are so engaging - and you keep people waiting for your gift
❤🙏Thank you
Great topic Tamara. Much needed thank you Carol
Glad it was helpful! You're welcome and thank you.
Hey there. This topic is definitely needed. Thank you!
You are welcome! Thank you!
Darn I missed it again! Is this live???
Yes🙈🙊
I appreciate the welcomes.
So much facts
So what if you dont get mad,i just shut down snd go to my room,feeling like shit,so obviously thats what my son wants,me out of his hair,so what do i do thrn,,,? REALLY STRUGGLING WITH WHAT I CAN DO HERE,please help thanks
Thanks!
You're welcome and thank you! Glad this was helpful to you. Appreciate the superchat.
39:06 Or on those time share presentations 'Where there's no pressure to buy'...
🙊 so true!!
How do I cope with the suicide of my beautiful son ? His father payed mind games, and kept us apart, in a different city. He told lies to police but some of them were playing mindgames with my son and myself. I was tricked and felt helpless. His father was going to fet my son into trouble again. He had no-one. The police wouldn't let my son come home to me. It's overwhelming and outrageous. I have been reacting verbally to police, and others. I have been blocked and my older son seems cold-hearted and callous. I have been angry and grieving. His father made my son think I was not pleased with him and that I knew what his father was doing and was in on the punishment. I have been told I'm crazy, take your meds, vindictive, delusional. People wan't me to carry on as if it is nothing. I was used. I am shocked and betrayed. My son too.
My former Attorney, Kevin Little cruelty played Nareistic mind games against me during a very vulnerable, and mental frailty time of my life. His malicious and criminal intent in accepting me as a client was due to his evil way to exploit me for Conflict of Interest-Self Gain and Solicited business my former employee PRL as a new Client Unbeknownst to m he conspired with Adversary legal Counsel in premeditated obstruction of Justice, punishment, and Retaliation, etc.
When my younger son died I have been trying to tell my older son what his father did to his brother, but also I was angry and hurt, and said to my older son that he is a traitor, and why soean't he care. His rwsponse was that he said I'm playing mind games, that he knows what I am doing, that I am self-absorbed and don't think of anyone but my son that died and myself, that I am a bully and not to contact him again. I am blocked. Other family too, I am blocked. No-one wants to talk things out.
Hi! im a scapegoat for a covert mum, it was years ago now but i only j just found out she's a covert! so i figured im due to finally go o therapy. there's no room in my mind for me to even cry its too full of repressed stuff. i cannot get it out i don't even have PTSD its really frustrating. i knw there's a great deal from birth to who knows maybe 6 and then a break i don't know but i was emotionally and physically abused long before i had the capability to remember. do you know any treatments that can help me i just want my mind clear and healthy :) my mother was bad though and as i said i now know it was calculated and she did not care. So awesome you're so young and free and succeeding. im 37 and im happy but it took me years to be ok
We were in our fifty's and my then boyfriend threated me of suicide because I broke up with him. I presented him a pair of cisor and told him to go ahaed.... He found excuses not to do it LOL
The "people" believing the game player are my sons grandparents,its been that way for years.so my son can do whatever he wants,he will just call up grandma and grandpa who live near by
My husband did he was a drug and alcohol counselor. I do not trustt any of u. Decernment from the holy spirit. Hyper sensitive.
Its heartbreaking i see my siblings inconcent in it altho they have narc traits im the oldest daughter in my narcissistic family im the black sheep outcast. All 3 of my siblings live with my mother whom is the head narc .... I see them as pawns in her game i dont get offended by their traits as i see them like the little kids we were and how we told each other bed time stories my eldest is 34 years old hes a man child due to my mothers enabling behavior and never letting him stand on his own same with the other 2 siblings are all living together under her thumn and the witcu of my mother has no intention of setting them straight or fixing the situation my family tree is up in flames hurts like i cant even begin to describe the pain of
How this pain is..... Grief is my best friend ...i understand going no contact is my only solution im working on it now
Medical or personal judgment?
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I’m in a relationship just like this and he’s doing everything he can to try and stop me from leaving and has many times built come tomorrow he won’t be able to
Mind Game: Minding My Business ❤
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I dunno...i remember when i was young there was more reason in the world.these were rare mistakes today is everywhere
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There should be a law against this i dont play game unless it is tennis golfing bowling.
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Thank you!!❤🎉🎉
You're welcome!!😊
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Thank you for this more than you know
1:02:34 wow reminded me of Sarma Melngailis from 'Queen of Vegan'. Very sad indeed.
Never heard of this! I have to check that out. Thank you.
I left him this morning went to another restroom he got short with me for "talking" making short comments over the video he was watching. So i quick zipped it. Even thin i was commenting the facts of the video BEFORE the video... he started making his own comments same view point as me just the hush bologna he gave me the entire interaction. Last 4 years has been him being extremely abusive and purposeful actions to tell me without acknowledging he said or did those things that were off center. He cleaned out our retirement funds over half a million dollars. Started apparently in 2017 according to his own mother (she has been the major narcissist for the 20 years of our marriage.) I honestly dont think he actually loves me but doesn't want to lose access to my body or my housework. And convert and Intimidation birth happening every day last 4 years. Yet divorce wasnt fair. He controls the money. And wouldnt allow me to my own lawyer. He was gone till i told him nope prenap mommy set up (hes a liar i know he knew about it) claims he did knpw and didnt read it... but it voided its self out with language that said no child support. Or spousal support. He's pretending im sure to even make me think he's turned over a new leaf. I dont believe hes telling me any thing truthful. He's a drug addict everything. And i fear losing custody.
Text Tamara you have opened the doors to so much gratitude in solving a lot of these issues it is truly a lifesaver much love to you😅🎉🎉🎉❤❤
My husband does this
All the time. He has promised things to me then, later I call him on the promise
Then he blows up at me as if im needy and always wanting stuff. He rols his eyes when im talking. Promises
Promises then, blows up at me as if im wanting more in life and im horrible.
Im
Isolated in a rural place. He wont let me do anything.
He tells me when to eat if im not hungry, he will throw the fresh cooked food in the trash. He needs help big time. Ive called the police they did nothing.
I'm so sorry. These kind of traumatic relationships are hard to get out of for some. I often encourage my clients to "think their way out." Do whatever it takes to come out. And sometimes that starts with your own mind, learning new things, and attaching to people who can help you be strong.
I second this. You’re going to have to think like a criminal/narc. Even with f you have to mind cluck the police into escorting you into town to “file paperwork”. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Absoeffinglutely. I wish you success.
Greeting is a big part of making people part of the conversation keep up the good work we 💕 you 😅😅
GIRL, YOU GOTTA GET YOU A ' TH' CUP
🤗😂that would be interesting! I almost feel like that could go very well and become a cool thing for me to do. OR get on the nerves of some people. lol
What does it mean when someone cuts you off constantly when you're in the middle of a conversation
ie when you're in the middle of telling a story or something like that?
I don't think that would be a mind-game per se. I would say that person is either a narcissist (who has to be the center of attention), is bipolar (cannot control energy and wait on their turn), impulsivity (struggling to pause and wait), etc. etc. etc. It could literally be anything!
@@TherapistTamaraHillI agree.
Thank You so much Tamara ❤ All of your videos are amazing and help us to heal from what our families have put us through. It has been the main focus of my mom and G.C. sister to make sure I never feel good about myself. Now I know what they both were trying to do....use their mind games to dismantle me. Since I was 11yrs old and first happily told my mom that my cousin said I was pretty, my mom sat me down and told me..." You may be cute, but you are not pretty. People use that word too much". I grew up believing this. One day just a few years ago, she began tearing down my appearance again. I replied..." Mom why are you the only one who makes fun of my looks? People are saying I am your pretty daughter". Mom said with a smirk....." You're NOT the pretty daughter, you just think you are". I cried and she just kept sitting there with the smirk. Then she triangulated the situation by calling the sibling I was closest to and told my sibling..." Your sister just came in and declared herself to be the beauty of the family". This angered my sibling towards me. I explained to my sibling that I only said that after years of mom's insults and the insults she kept saying that day. My mom turned the closest sibling against me just like she turned G.C. against me. Mom & G.C.'s mind games were powerful. Whenever anyone complimented me in front of G.C., she'd smile, then when the person who complimented me would leave the room, G.C. would turn around and tell me...." I am number one, NOT you. I am the pretty one, not you". She whispered this to her toddler to tell me too. I had to stay away. She has told lies saying I bully her and that I started everything when I know I didn't. She copies EVERYTHING I do. Someone once told her that she looks like me. She turned to the mirror and said..." I AM her". Mom and her are/ were cruel. A family member reported them to a Minister. The Minister asked them to stop the abuse. They didn't listen. I am no contact for almost 2 yrs now. Thank You Tamara. I watch your videos every week. They are powerful.
What about people who call you up to play mind games?
I certainly would not pick up that phone next time around, if you can. And sometimes you may have to abruptly end to phone call. That sounds rude and I agree it can be. But at the same time, your sanity matters most.
I believe that narcissistic behavior has come from the confused
It comes from Satan.
I absolutely love your content. Very knowledgeable and insightful. However, I'm not able to follow the live chats without fast forwarding through a lot of the engagement/content. Idk how others feel but if you would present your initial content in the beginning and leave the engagement to the end so we have the option to opt out, that would be very appealing for this viewer. I hope that's not insulting or controlling, just feedback. Best to you and thank you for your work!
Thank you so much for that! On a side note, I should have mentioned in the chat tonight the "sandwich technique" of feedback from those who play mind-games where there is a positive beginning, a critical statement in the middle, and positive ending. That's what this reminds me of! It's a sneaky way to "correct" without appearing judgmental. I'm sure you did not mean it that way though 😉
In terms of the live chats it may be helpful to wait until they end and then navigate to the timestamps in the description box. You can then navigate around the chatting and comments I engage during the live.
@h2co3footprint25
Just go to a different channel then. No one needs your input. Why don't you get on RUclips and run it your way!
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Sorry Tam. I just think this is rude. You don't have to give us any of your knowledge or time but you do. All your chats are given well. No need to change anything.
Don't give this troll your time.
She Also Posts Videos That Aren't Live Chats.
@@TherapistTamaraHill good one
I haven't been a subscriber long but just understand that a majority of the people who come here are struggling with having never being seen within their own family or heard. That being said, I get why she does what she does.
I enjoyed this discussion. Thank you for sharing. I use an inner compass exercise of asking “who am I “ “what do I want?” “Why am I here?” My personal struggle is around the question you asked “What are they capable of?” I feel like I never know that. I also would love to listen to the conversation around how do you know if it’s intentional or lack of skill. I understand the aspect of how I feel so maybe it’s just about self trust. Anyway, thank you so much. I appreciate your work and support. 🙏🏽🩵
You're welcome! And thanks for watching.
This is great. Those questions seem existential too and really gets to the heart of the matter.
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