News Headlines That Were Actually Real

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  • Опубликовано: 1 дек 2024

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  3 года назад +33

    To start comparing quotes and simplify insurance-buying, check out Policygenius: policygenius.com/blaze. Thanks to Policygenius for sponsoring this video!

    • @oneshucklak6021
      @oneshucklak6021 3 года назад +2

      hey, thanks policy genius!

    • @NivramAxuf
      @NivramAxuf 3 года назад +4

      FYI you said Tulsa correctly

    • @bradlargay6704
      @bradlargay6704 3 года назад +1

      Simon fan of the show from the US up in the great state of Maine LOL a good bio Graphics idea for you maybe to pursue is the story of Paul Bunyan I don't know if you've heard of him but if not you'll have some fun with it

    • @bradlargay6704
      @bradlargay6704 3 года назад

      Another biographics idea could be Joshua Chamberlain

    • @bradlargay6704
      @bradlargay6704 3 года назад

      Do you ever need any more suggestions I know a lot of obscure history

  • @DannySalter
    @DannySalter 3 года назад +447

    It felt a bit silly and superfluous putting in sub-headlines in a script all about headlines.
    I did space out the sections with very big paragraph breaks.
    Next time I'm going to divide the sections with a small image of Yoko Ono giving a cheeky wink.

    • @GamerFxLP
      @GamerFxLP 3 года назад +34

      This is brilliant idea! I would love to see Simons reaction to it in a future Brain Blaze. :-)

    • @Tinhare
      @Tinhare 3 года назад +14

      Thought it very clever and Simon didn’t get the joke.

    • @robertguagliardo605
      @robertguagliardo605 3 года назад +15

      Oh god please do

    • @AvoidTheCadaver
      @AvoidTheCadaver 3 года назад +27

      Or perhaps. Don't even give Simon a paragraph break. Just run one section into another

    • @ItsMeAnn628
      @ItsMeAnn628 3 года назад +33

      Danny, you’ll never know the depths of our gratitude for your humor!!! 😁💜

  • @evillttlimp
    @evillttlimp 3 года назад +644

    I'm half convinced Simon's eventually going to go back to calling this channel business blaze and this will be fondly remembered as an awkward phase

    • @ZentaBon
      @ZentaBon 3 года назад +27

      Hope so but probably not.

    • @ThePhoenix8472
      @ThePhoenix8472 3 года назад +17

      Allegedly?

    • @luna775
      @luna775 3 года назад +7

      Do u guys know why the change of name?

    • @asolfjell
      @asolfjell 3 года назад +27

      @@luna775 because they’ve strayed too far from videos just about businesses.

    • @evillttlimp
      @evillttlimp 3 года назад +34

      ​@@asolfjell But that was part of the fun!

  • @voidcore
    @voidcore 3 года назад +440

    Can we get a petition for Danny to leave out all sub headings going forward so we can get more of Simon trying to figure out why federal agents are raiding an all girls boarding school?

    • @davidripley2916
      @davidripley2916 3 года назад +17

      Operation Low Lita ( cough) 👁👁

    • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
      @jaybeemhardscrote7466 3 года назад

      I SMASHED DISLIKE!!!

    • @russellbrazell7671
      @russellbrazell7671 3 года назад +13

      Haha maybe he left them out on purpose because the video is about bad head lines, either way it's great haha

    • @thejason755
      @thejason755 3 года назад +2

      Why wouldn’t the fedboys raid an all girls boarding school?

    • @tag1462
      @tag1462 3 года назад +1

      Can we get Danny out of the basement?

  • @GuntherRommel
    @GuntherRommel 3 года назад +98

    5:16 - "Daddy, chill" hasn't made me laugh that hard in awhile. Well done, Sam. Glorious

    • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
      @jaybeemhardscrote7466 3 года назад +2

      I found that really funny too! I SMASHED DISLIKE!

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад +2

      I wish they'd do an ep on explaining what/where they come from. It's funny to Americans I suppose, but most of the world is left scratching it's head as in "this is funny? How?".

    • @jatley91
      @jatley91 3 года назад +3

      I never thought I would say this but it has been in so many episodes now I cringe a little.. bring the hate but it’s just my opinion

    • @GuntherRommel
      @GuntherRommel 3 года назад

      @@gomahklawm4446 I have zero idea where it's from. I still love it

    • @ethano3099
      @ethano3099 2 года назад

      @@gomahklawm4446 don’t worry, I’m American and I’m not totally sure what it is either.

  • @DoctorDex
    @DoctorDex 3 года назад +68

    This video is 20% Danny messing with Simon. 30% Sam making fun of Simon. The other half is Simon himself struggling to say Brain Blaze and words in general. I love it!

  • @Gersti96
    @Gersti96 3 года назад +89

    I LOVE it when Sam messes with the credits. “Is sittimg down now”
    I remember once the intro credits said “host: simon and welcome back” because simon had just said “hello my name is simon and welcome back”

    • @Jezus42
      @Jezus42 3 года назад +5

      I don't think I have ever seen normal credits, or do I only pay attention when they are funny?

  • @alexandershin413
    @alexandershin413 3 года назад +178

    BLAZE BOI, FACT BOI, once again I must humbly beg you to release that most wonderful Korea cut

  • @thorthethunderdawg5289
    @thorthethunderdawg5289 3 года назад +130

    0:28 Even Simon still sees this as BUSINESS Blaze...Viva La Resistance

  • @thomassierp5583
    @thomassierp5583 3 года назад +40

    Best headline ever:
    "Gordon Ramsay's dwarf porn double found dead in a badger den in wales"
    But look up the NT news here in Australia. You won't regret it.

    • @thedivevanman7415
      @thedivevanman7415 3 года назад

      NT news is literally comedy disguised as a news team.

  • @svampebob007
    @svampebob007 3 года назад +38

    I love how Danny didn't add headlines on an episode about headlines, and Simon didn't even pick up on that.
    #FreeDanny

    • @ozzyangel82
      @ozzyangel82 2 года назад

      Slide Danny a nice treat under the basement door. 😂

  • @ingramfry7179
    @ingramfry7179 3 года назад +11

    "Shell found on beach" is my favourite.
    Sound like the slowest news day ever.

  • @RealSkoolmaster
    @RealSkoolmaster 3 года назад +31

    *Simon, born the same year as me*: "Jesus im getting old..."
    *me*: "I feel that on a spiritual level my brother..."

    • @jessicarakowicz1627
      @jessicarakowicz1627 3 года назад

      Same

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад +1

      "Titus I'm getting old" would be far, FAR more accurate. But keep worshipping the Caesars...I'll keep laughing. "It is easier to fool a man, than to convince him that he has been fooled".

  • @CheyenneLoveLoveZebrasEDS
    @CheyenneLoveLoveZebrasEDS 3 года назад +11

    Been having a rough day recovering from surgery. This is exactly what I needed to watch when I first woke up!! 💜💜💜

    • @madalice5134
      @madalice5134 3 года назад +2

      Hope your recovery is quick and goes well.

  • @nuckyjohnson3213
    @nuckyjohnson3213 3 года назад +47

    Lmfao at Danny's alliteration. That was epic

  • @PD-mi3qj
    @PD-mi3qj 3 года назад +124

    Simon having a cocaine addled pseudo epiphany about Tulsa had me rolling! Poor FactBoy thinking all American towns beginning with a "T" are probably pronounced weird because of Tucson, then ADHD rambling into one of the worst Friends sub plots ever...Legendary!

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 3 года назад +15

      *Allegendly cocaine addled*

    • @goosebump801
      @goosebump801 3 года назад +4

      Just starting to watch this…can’t wait for this part, whatever it is…😂😂😂

    • @Amandcr
      @Amandcr 3 года назад +3

      Tul-sa not overly complicated. Also, Tulsa twice in one episode.

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад +10

      Tulsa, where the most terrible race attack in the USA ever took place. Terribly sad and rarely spoken of. To think that National Guard planes were used to destroy black businesses......NOT surprised....this is OK we're talking about.

    • @tag1462
      @tag1462 3 года назад +3

      It's too lido, if that helps. And if you actually live there and's Tow-ledo... yep yer right. so don't run my balls over the fire. If it helps, any, we actually kept you in Ohio. You could have been Michigan.

  • @BelovedDevil
    @BelovedDevil 3 года назад +56

    Simon: I don't know if head means the same thing in America
    Me: You've obviously never heard an American rap song

    • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
      @jaybeemhardscrote7466 3 года назад +1

      Lol! Haha that's why I SMASHED DISLIKE

    • @bobbyanderson1054
      @bobbyanderson1054 3 года назад +5

      Or any American song past 2000

    • @raymondkelley3548
      @raymondkelley3548 3 года назад +3

      Head has been a reference to oral sex, in the US, since at least the early 70s

    • @shootingdragon0
      @shootingdragon0 Год назад

      The university of Moorhead in Minnesota slogan is "everyone loves moorhead"

  • @andrewsisson6536
    @andrewsisson6536 3 года назад +23

    So, I've never considered myself a trekky, but I did MASSIVELY enjoy both Next Generation and Voyager. So I can proudly say "Simon and I: same page!"

    • @UnicornsPoopRainbows
      @UnicornsPoopRainbows 3 года назад

      Deep Space Nine is also quite good. If you liked Star Trek, Stargate SG-1 and their Atlantis spin off are really good. Young Jason Mamoa ^^

  • @Emnms68
    @Emnms68 3 года назад +14

    I went to an all girls high school and I absolutely loved it. We were still able to have male friends and often had events and collaborations between our school and others in the area, but day-to-day it was just awesome to be surrounded by a community that was truly a sisterhood. We were tighter knit than any sorority, and without boys at the school, 99% of all regular high school drama was non-existent. You could stand up in class and ask everyone if anyone has a pad or tampon or aspirin and at least 5 girls would immediately pull a variety out of their backpacks. There was no pressure to act or look a certain way to cater to the male gaze, and for the most part, it was a highly feminist community. And no, my parents weren’t rich. Most of the cliques at the school were usually formed based on economic status, and a large part of that was because the parents of the rich kids were all best buddies. Otherwise groups were based on what extra curriculars you did. Idk how to explain it, but it was honestly just really great. And it wasn’t like we never interacted with boys, we just didn’t have class with them and didn’t really have them on campus all that often.

    • @naynayhooray
      @naynayhooray 2 года назад +1

      Same. Girl’s schools are great.

  • @dilanbrinkley3587
    @dilanbrinkley3587 3 года назад +7

    Dammit. You three absolutely kill me.
    Danny, you absolutely kick ass with your writing. Even though I still have issues wrapping my brain around how you managed to get your pilot's license and not a driver's license.
    Sam, your editing and meme selection are beyond words.
    And Simon. Between your cathartic narration and absolutely cocaine and caffeine fueled (ALLEDGENDLY) tangents, absolutely make these videos PURE ambergris!

  • @michaelwilde545
    @michaelwilde545 3 года назад +5

    The "I don't understand" meme is my personal favorite - seriously, favorite of all time. Every time I see it, it makes my day a little better. . . just like Brain Blaze does.

    • @DeliciousDetail
      @DeliciousDetail 2 года назад

      One of my favorite parts about that meme is it it's a clip from a reality show. The music was added by production during editing after the fact.. which means she was singing and dancing like that in silence.

  • @iarissei
    @iarissei 3 года назад +81

    this is one of my favorite channels to watch that Simon is the host of.
    don't get me wrong, the other channels he hosts are also great, however, i think Simon, Danny and Sam have a great thing going here, and I will certainly watch every video you three put out on this channel.
    love you guys!!!!!!! keep doing what you're doing, please. ;-)

    • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
      @jaybeemhardscrote7466 3 года назад +5

      I love it too! That's why I SMASH that DISLIKE button.

    • @iarissei
      @iarissei 3 года назад +3

      @@jaybeemhardscrote7466 lol! i wantsee more of the channel, if i SMASH that dislike utton, will i miss the content?????
      i usually thumds up any video i like, and then i comment, especially if i disagree or have something to say.
      i love this channel and those like it.

    • @andiward7068
      @andiward7068 3 года назад +2

      @@iarissei dislike just counts as engagement, if you're subbed/notify it still goes thru to you.

    • @andiward7068
      @andiward7068 3 года назад +6

      The Casual Criminalist is neck & neck w/BB, imo.

    • @barrydysert2974
      @barrydysert2974 3 года назад

      @@andiward7068 AGREED!:-) 🖖

  • @Potatoast
    @Potatoast 3 года назад +22

    "Why is the guy with a criminal history and drug offenses allowed to run a gun shop?"
    Welcome to the United States Simon. See also....Florida.

  • @joshua.recovers
    @joshua.recovers 3 года назад +3

    I love that I knew what Danny did to Simon right before the meme at 5:08.
    Well done, Danny!

  • @Quake60
    @Quake60 3 года назад +20

    Deep down in your heart you still know this as Business Blaze.

    • @RHCole
      @RHCole 3 года назад +1

      Yarp

  • @ljphoenix4341
    @ljphoenix4341 3 года назад +3

    Danny, Simon and Sam, 11/10 for this video, haven't laughed so much during a BB video in ages! Highly entertaining.

  • @TH3H0LYJ3BUS
    @TH3H0LYJ3BUS 3 года назад +1

    I love this channel because you get Simon saying "you piece of sh***t" then you also get memes saying " thanks for wasting my time you mother fucker" the editing is absolutely spot on,Callum

  • @MashMonster69
    @MashMonster69 3 года назад +37

    Hey Simon, you missed that 1 at the end. "Students get first hand job experience."
    You forgot to rattle on for 5 minutes how, at least in England a hand-job is blah blah blah like you did for head.
    Yes, they both are used equally on either side of the pond, though some others like "tossing off" are more British, and i have no clue {or clew} if you talk about getting your salad tossed.

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад +3

      I was surprised to hear that in the UK it's only called that for f2m instead of both. I've always heard the same term used for both men and women since hand on head(whilst enjoying) is still the same etc.......??

    • @bobbyanderson1054
      @bobbyanderson1054 3 года назад +3

      @@gomahklawm4446 true unless you hit that spot on the female while muff driving and she puts that leg lock on your neck...... Then again death by snu snu probably isn't bad

    • @Jessepigman69
      @Jessepigman69 3 года назад

      Clew….

  • @danielconlon2388
    @danielconlon2388 3 года назад +20

    The memes are off the chart today.. Simon your on point reading today hyup the blaze

  • @cluisdotorg
    @cluisdotorg 3 года назад +5

    Dream team of youtube. Simon yelling at a non-present Danny and Sam digitally kicking Simon in the balls is all I need in internet entertainment.

  • @TheOystei
    @TheOystei 3 года назад +1

    21:25 Why I love this channel. Best Wistler channel!

  • @unclejoe7466
    @unclejoe7466 3 года назад +10

    Simon's nemesis -- alliteration.

    • @Wootguy238
      @Wootguy238 3 года назад

      Alliteration, no speaking. Don't give a fuck if Simon doesn't feed me.

  • @silverflyer1701
    @silverflyer1701 3 года назад

    Stumbled across Simon's channels about a month ago and have been binging on them ever since. Just saw that he's a solid TREKKER as I've been since age 16 in 1966! You go, Simon! Trek on! Love you & all your channels!! 😃🤩❤️

  • @tanukiboy2972
    @tanukiboy2972 3 года назад +11

    Years ago, Curtis Strange beat Greg Norman by one stroke in the final round of a golf tournament in Japan. I still remember the headline in the Japan Times: "Strange Squeaks by Norman in Final".

  • @mokkamaster6
    @mokkamaster6 3 года назад +9

    Enjoy this one with a beer, in the jacuzzi, watching the stars over Norway tonight god! I love business blaze!!

  • @RichTeer
    @RichTeer 3 года назад +5

    Danny sure does love his alliteration!

  • @nickdanjer1923
    @nickdanjer1923 3 года назад +14

    Danny, you're the best! I've often thought that you should write a dozen pages of intro leading into another dozen page intro and ending with "To Be Continued." Just sprinkle in plenty of shiny things to distract Simon, such as references to Ratherham, jobs done as a youth, and having ones butt cheeks used as a toast rack at school. Simon could easily fill in the details on his own.
    By the way, what is the proper bread for a sausage and marmalade sandwich?

  • @whimsical_me5135
    @whimsical_me5135 3 года назад +15

    I was having such a bad day, cos its all stormy and I'm pms-ing hardcore and just everything was making me cry but then I watched this episode of brain blaze and cuddled with my cat and laughed my head off and I feel so much better, thanks Simon and Co! 😂🤣😂

  • @chadp363
    @chadp363 3 года назад +19

    Can we get 2 episodes where Danny and Sam each present and Simon writes/edits these said videos

    • @ghost_curse
      @ghost_curse 3 года назад +2

      But that would mean that Simon needs to let them out of the basement and we all know he's not gonna do that

    • @chadp363
      @chadp363 3 года назад +4

      @@ghost_curse he could toss them a wet face cloth and a go pro.

    • @realryder2626
      @realryder2626 3 года назад +1

      This! !! Make it happen

  • @silverskyranch
    @silverskyranch 3 года назад +27

    "Homicide victims rarely talk to police." So is that the new way of saying "Dead men tell no tales" ?

  • @fatcat6984
    @fatcat6984 3 года назад +1

    Great video as always Simon, Danny and sam!! My favorite RUclips channel hands down!

  • @alantyrrell153
    @alantyrrell153 3 года назад +20

    "shell found on beach" is my favourite headline, it was an explosive shell

  • @SerpentineDeity
    @SerpentineDeity 3 года назад

    Your laughter and energy is so contagious.

  • @roboticzamat
    @roboticzamat 3 года назад +8

    Danny leaving the basement...?
    Yeah, let's not.
    He's more productive there.

  • @ardenalexa94
    @ardenalexa94 11 месяцев назад +1

    It cracks me up when Simon goes on rants but then talks to himself and adds sarcastic comments. 😂

  • @Adiscretefirm
    @Adiscretefirm 3 года назад +8

    10 years for gun, explosives, and drug charges? Either the prosecutor dropped some charges because they couldn't prove them or someone snitched on someone else.

    • @fubar55676
      @fubar55676 3 года назад

      The possession of a unregistered destructive device was probably a plea deal for a fine instead of prison time because the government does not like NFA violations to go to trial four fears of it going to the Supreme Court and having the NFA declared unconstitutional because it's a tax on a right kind of like how poll taxes are no longer legal

  • @joshuabarker9929
    @joshuabarker9929 3 года назад

    As somebody from Tulsa it fills me with joy to hear Simon say it right, Dongs is still the biggest gun shop in Tulsa!

  • @Raz0rking
    @Raz0rking 3 года назад +7

    Fix the Bloody Light Simon!

    • @thejudgmentalcat
      @thejudgmentalcat 3 года назад +1

      Ikr? After setting up 42 RUclips channels you'd think he could afford a contractor to take care of that

    • @jfriend2001
      @jfriend2001 3 года назад

      Someone setup a go fund me

    • @thejudgmentalcat
      @thejudgmentalcat 3 года назад

      @@jfriend2001 NO. Simon can sell Danny's and Callum's plasma

  • @ignitionfrn2223
    @ignitionfrn2223 3 года назад +2

    6:40 - Chapter 1 - Times
    10:40 - Chapter 2 - Express times
    13:25 - Mid roll ads
    15:40 - Chapter 3 - AP
    17:55 - Chapter 4 - Gloucestershire echo
    21:30 - Chapter 5 - The Tulsa world
    23:55 - Chapter 6 - Perez Hilton
    27:20 - Chapter 7 - New York Times
    28:50 - Chapter 8 - The tulsa world N°2
    31:15 - Bonus

  • @BenjaminBroekhuizen
    @BenjaminBroekhuizen 3 года назад +5

    At the start of the video, I thought the 'lack of titles' was aimed at boarding schools.
    Also, when Simon just went straight to federal agents and explained his double take, I was genuinely disappointed we did not get an 'FBI OPEN UP'.

  • @thomasmooreCQ
    @thomasmooreCQ 3 года назад +2

    Love this video. Even better to know Simon is a star trek fan 🤯😁👍 legend

  • @joseybryant7577
    @joseybryant7577 3 года назад +6

    As the weather turns cold here in the States, I am ever more grateful for the Blaze.

  • @kevinrussell2718
    @kevinrussell2718 3 года назад +1

    21:00 Tulsa is a town in the State of Oklahoma - it is mentioned in two hits songs: "24 Hours From Tulsa" by Gene Pitney; and "Tulsa Time" by Don Williams.

  • @brandonwinstead7137
    @brandonwinstead7137 3 года назад +12

    Simon just admit to yourself that this is still business blaze

  • @globalrevolution
    @globalrevolution 3 года назад +1

    "corpse found on cemetary" was in our local paper, also there was "Ratzinger is elected pope"with the next article reading "Devil resigns" (Some politician named "Teufel")

  • @smittywerbenjaegermanjensen
    @smittywerbenjaegermanjensen 3 года назад +8

    My fiance really wants that "allengendly" hoodie in white. Tell teespring to get on stocking those larger sizes!

  • @jeffreydavis9757
    @jeffreydavis9757 3 года назад +1

    I have a suggestion for a future BB episode that SIMON WILL LOVE!
    "CEOs and heads of state who chose to rely on astrology/voodoo/fortune cookies/etc."
    (For example, the President of Haiti in 1963 claimed he had caused the assassination of JFK using the power of voodoo! (Allegedly.))

  • @zeusathena26
    @zeusathena26 3 года назад +6

    Danny, thank you for the tongue twisters from the basement! 😂 Simon, don't read them ahead. Thank you Sam!

  • @DerptyDerptyDUM
    @DerptyDerptyDUM 3 года назад +2

    I'm just glad the Enron Blaze shirt still works with the name upgrade. 😄

  • @peterrankin82
    @peterrankin82 3 года назад +10

    Who else things we need a brain blaze episode of Simon responding to comments on past videos????

  • @DavidWRyan
    @DavidWRyan 3 года назад +1

    My college roommate's favorite headline was a New York Post that read "Headless Man Found In Topless Bar." He (my roommate) had it framed on his his wall!

  • @alexandercain8904
    @alexandercain8904 3 года назад +3

    Tuscon: too-san
    Tulsa: tul-sah
    Metric: rubbish
    You're welcome!

  • @reubensvlogchannel8565
    @reubensvlogchannel8565 3 года назад +1

    One of the highlights of my day is when I have my watch list playing in my ear and all of a sudden Simon is going on random cocaine fueled tangent. Let’s me know I’m on brain blaze and to SMASH that like button!

  • @amb163
    @amb163 3 года назад +3

    I am here for you nerding out over Star Trek. I'm a massive Trekkie, too, and I don't care who knows it!

  • @squishtheprodigalson9298
    @squishtheprodigalson9298 3 года назад +1

    Holy crap, Sam was absolutely on 🔥🔥🔥 today! 😂😂😂

  • @Suldame
    @Suldame 3 года назад +4

    I would like to see a Danny re-acts video to Simon's first reads

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 3 года назад

      That would be amazing

  • @shamusfarmer
    @shamusfarmer 3 года назад +1

    Omg, more of this please!

  • @beagleissleeping5359
    @beagleissleeping5359 3 года назад +2

    Badly worded local headline:
    Man hit by car walking on bridge.
    Yeah, watch out for those walking cars.

    • @WildBluntHickok
      @WildBluntHickok 3 года назад

      "Last year on safari I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What an elephant was doing in my pajamas I'll never know." - Groucho Marx, paraphrased so I don't have to do the entire 20 joke speech it's a small detail in

  • @25784lazza
    @25784lazza 3 года назад

    That tongue twister was hilarious! Well trolled Danny, well trolled!

  • @s4bombshell
    @s4bombshell 3 года назад +18

    This was almost the shortest intro in blaze history, then the wireless mic detour happened

  • @DoctaOsiris
    @DoctaOsiris 3 года назад +1

    I went to a private school when I lived with my foster parents, it was mixed and like a completely different world compared to public school, everyone was friendly and I never saw anyone getting bullied, everything was far more relaxed 🙃

  • @mgraves2023
    @mgraves2023 3 года назад +15

    JESUS CHRIST!!!!
    That ghost of Michael Jackson mask never gets any less scary. You try to forget about it and then VOILA it pops up when you least expect it. Its like that classic line from The Godfather
    '' Right when I think Im out.........THEY PULL ME BACK IN !!!!!!! ''

  • @occamraiser
    @occamraiser Год назад

    My favorite joke headline (ie headline mentioned as a joke, rather than one that was actually printed) is a critique of the wealth disparity in the UK - known as the North/South divide. The joke goes.....
    Headline: "London lettuce shortage enters second week, Prime minister calls for calm. In other news, North still on fire."
    It makes me smile and I'm sure most other countries can relate to it - so I hope I brightened someone's day with that.

  • @GordotheGamer
    @GordotheGamer 3 года назад +3

    Welp, I just bought a bunch of beard blaze stuff. Can’t wait for my beard upgrade.

  • @aalhard
    @aalhard 3 года назад +1

    Simone!! Hang the mic wire from ceiling on a hook on a spring. Surely they have hooks and springs in Prague!

  • @markredacted8547
    @markredacted8547 3 года назад +15

    Danny you basement dwelling legend, I am loving Simon descend into his own chaos, questioning whether its his error or not EVERY-TIME. 🤣
    You do you Danny, you're the man, next goal, stop abruptly on one piece proceed to the next, randomly finish the first piece in the middle of the second. I just want to watch the world burn. 😁

  • @wyeteepaleface9199
    @wyeteepaleface9199 3 года назад

    Omg Sam. The learning things with Factboy meme after the explanation of head, killed me dead. 🤣🤣

  • @jtmcgee
    @jtmcgee 3 года назад +14

    the gun shop owner probably made a "donation" to the police charity of all his money and thus got a lesser sentence. this happens more often than it should. if you own a business and have enough cash then you may be able to bankrupt yourself to get a few years off your sentence. this all depends on the crime.

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  3 года назад +7

      That is mega corrupt.

    • @anonymousrex5207
      @anonymousrex5207 3 года назад +1

      Except for the part where the police have zero input or impact on a person's sentence. That is handled by a prosecutor and/or judge depending on the circumstances.

    • @runed0s86
      @runed0s86 3 года назад

      @@anonymousrex5207 Well, then you make a donation to the judge or prosecutor, obviously. You also have the option of donating to the jury, but that's a bit more expensive.

    • @anonymousrex5207
      @anonymousrex5207 3 года назад

      @@runed0s86 prosecutors and judges don't take bribes... those days are long since passed. They know they will get caught, fired and arrested... it's not worth the trouble.

    • @UnicornsPoopRainbows
      @UnicornsPoopRainbows 3 года назад +1

      @@anonymousrex5207 If they get caught is the point. Most District Attorneys are elected. It is very easy to be bribed legally through your campaign. Look at damn near any politician In the states

  • @dexter111344
    @dexter111344 3 года назад

    I just got done finishing watching the recent Biographics video on tuberculosis. Seeing the difference in Simon acts between this channel and that one is one helluva whiplash. Should've watched a Sideprojects video in between to ease me into it.

  • @stefansneden1957
    @stefansneden1957 3 года назад +4

    Tulsa is actually really nice. Great food, lots of legit parks, cool festivals. It's legit the only good thing about Oklahoma.

    • @bobbyanderson1054
      @bobbyanderson1054 3 года назад

      Minus the Greenwood (aka Black Wall Street) Massacre

    • @stefansneden1957
      @stefansneden1957 3 года назад

      @@bobbyanderson1054 how long ago was that....hmmmm.

    • @bobbyanderson1054
      @bobbyanderson1054 3 года назад +1

      @@stefansneden1957 yet how many people are now just learning about it....

    • @stefansneden1957
      @stefansneden1957 3 года назад

      @@bobbyanderson1054 uhhh. Maybe YOU are just hearing about it. But it's something many of us have known for a long long time. And really not at all what this was about. If you gonna social justice do it for real.

  • @adambielen8996
    @adambielen8996 3 года назад

    Sam absolutely nailed it with the memes.
    And yes, "giving head" is a phrase used in the USA.

  • @milksheihk
    @milksheihk 3 года назад +4

    In the last few years it's George Takei who's feuding with Shatner.

    • @alexpage4355
      @alexpage4355 3 года назад +2

      I was going to say the same thing. I always thought Nimoy and Shatner got along pretty well. (At least as well as anyone, given that Shatner is rather infamously hard to work with.) It was Takei and Shatner who've rubbed each other the wrong way and wanted absolutely nothing to do with each other outside of the show.

  • @gaylehaeffner9595
    @gaylehaeffner9595 3 года назад

    Love Sam & his fine vintage memes!

  • @ethansams883
    @ethansams883 3 года назад +3

    Here in America we definetly know what “head” is, 😏 it’s the common term as well. Good to know it’s agreed with our neighbors across the pond.

  • @ryanfounds4952
    @ryanfounds4952 3 года назад +1

    Memes on point in this one!

  • @photoflo78
    @photoflo78 3 года назад +20

    I went to an all girl's boarding school (I was a day student bc I lived really close) and we definitely didn't offer those services to boys schools 🙃 😅

    • @NimhLabs
      @NimhLabs 3 года назад +5

      My understanding is The Oral Sexing is to be performed by girls onto other girls
      This is largely based on various videos I've seen on websites that lately have been covering how step-siblings/mothers/fathers are handling the pandemic
      ... this is another comment stuck well in Poe's Law Territory... gosh dangi t!

    • @photoflo78
      @photoflo78 3 года назад +4

      @@NimhLabs oh yeah, I definitely knew some girls that did hook up. Although there was one scandal where a boarder snuck a guy on campus & was busted giving him head in the bushes and got kicked out 🤣. She was in my class but I didn't think it fit in this category, although technically she did service him 😉 😜 (insert drum roll🥁 )

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад +1

      People knock it, but I bet you're one or two standard deviations more intelligent and far better educated than your peers. There's a reason so many developing countries separate the sexes for education. It's the best way to learn and students in developing countries need all the help they can get. Ask any teacher. Mixed-sex classes severely hurts education. Any honest educator will tell you the same.....although different values are placed on the supposed "value" of socialization.

    • @NimhLabs
      @NimhLabs 3 года назад

      @@gomahklawm4446 Wow... all of that is 100% made up, and has no proof to back it up at all! =O

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад

      @@NimhLabs Then why do so many countries that are trying to "catch up" do EXACTLY that?? I bet a simple Google search will tell you that more students in the world are separated by sexes than attend mixed-sex classes. Just because you like one way of doing things, does NOT make it the best way, for everyone, everywhere. Grow up.

  • @georgeluxton3690
    @georgeluxton3690 Год назад +1

    Sam killed me with the clip after Simon said "disgusting" about the fish

  • @haleyw5677
    @haleyw5677 3 года назад +12

    I went to an all girls school and I absolutely loved it, and I think it really helped me and my classmates learn how to sound confident so that men listen to you, and it actually made a big difference that I noticed when we met people from other schools

    • @godlygamer911
      @godlygamer911 3 года назад +2

      I have never met a woman that went to a mixed school that wasn't outspoken lol what are you talking about?

    • @SafetySpooon
      @SafetySpooon 3 года назад

      This is pretty much what they mea, but are stupidly not just saying it outright: GIRLS LEARN BETTER WITH A;; GIRLS BECAUSE SOCIETY FAVORS BOYS.

    • @SafetySpooon
      @SafetySpooon 3 года назад

      @@godlygamer911 "How to say "I am a sexist pig" without using the word "sexist" or "pig"." Well done.

    • @Serenity_yt
      @Serenity_yt 3 года назад +1

      @@godlygamer911 I also went to an girls school and I think OP didnt mean in general timid but e.g. talking about periods without stigma (we just compared flow/contraceptives/hygiene products during breaks with the whole group whereas girls that went to mixed school even went to great lengths to hide their pads/tampons and openly talking was out of the question especially if boys were also in the room), not caring about fitting into feminine roles and if men are dicks its a lot easier to recognize if you have the comparison to a non dick enviroment.

    • @Serenity_yt
      @Serenity_yt 3 года назад +2

      Also in my country its an inherent bias that girls cant do maths or really any nature science as well so male students are usually unconciously preferred and more encouraged e.g. more effort put into explaining and building confidence, more often called on. In an all girls class the teacher cant make that difference even if they wanted too. So in my class most if not all girls were a lot more confident in their maths, chemistry, biology, physics knowledge and talent than girls from mixed schools.

  • @gimbobjenkins405
    @gimbobjenkins405 3 года назад +1

    Now I have to go back and watch Jay Leno do headlines, damn you Simon and your strange inspirations.

  • @doctorlolchicken7478
    @doctorlolchicken7478 3 года назад +9

    Daily Sport: “Statue of Elvis Found on Moon”
    I know they have similar rags in the US like the National Enquirer, but the Daily Sport mostly blends in with other newspapers - partly because a lot of the other British newspapers are only one small step better in quality. At least the Sport is not even pretending to be serious.

    • @CheyenneLoveLoveZebrasEDS
      @CheyenneLoveLoveZebrasEDS 3 года назад +2

      I was really confused during that whole segment. I kept waiting for him to talk about ACTUAL SPORTS! I still don't understand why its called that... (Im from a tiny town in the US) 🤔

    • @gomahklawm4446
      @gomahklawm4446 3 года назад +3

      Still better than the BBC(British Brainwashing Corp). You'll get your propaganda, AND YOU'LL PAY FOR IT!!!!

    • @themoviedealers
      @themoviedealers 3 года назад +2

      In the US we had The Weekly World News, but now it's just a website, they stopped printing it. They were famous for the classics: Elvis sightings, Bigfoot sightings, Pres. Clinton meeting with aliens, BAT BOY FOUND IN CAVE.

    • @debshaw680
      @debshaw680 3 года назад +1

      We have a LOT of rags pretending to present real stories owned by trump supporters so now they’re all lies about the election and democrats. So pathetic. Back in the day my college roomie lived in Australia for a while. I used to send her crazy tabloid articles from the US and she’d send me ones from AUS so we always had a reason to eagerly check the mailbox.

  • @tivanyamoodley3576
    @tivanyamoodley3576 2 года назад

    This was crazy Danny's alliteration 🤣💯

  • @Val1414_
    @Val1414_ 3 года назад +10

    Out of 100 people, 4 will have crypto hands… while the rest will have wet toilet paper hands😅

    • @PínnedbyAdmín-i9x
      @PínnedbyAdmín-i9x 3 года назад

      I trade with him, The profit are secured and over a 100% return on investment directly sent to your wallet.

    • @moonlamba9922
      @moonlamba9922 3 года назад

      After watching so many RUclips tutorial videos about trading I was still making losses untill Mr Bryan Nelson started managing my investment now, I make $6,800 weekly. God bless Mr Nelson Bryan. His been a blessing to my family.

    • @Gabriel-rh1dn
      @Gabriel-rh1dn 3 года назад

      I've seen a lot of recommendation about Mr Bryan Nelson, Please can I have his info? I want to invest 2,000usd with him.

    • @Val1414_
      @Val1414_ 3 года назад

      WhatsApp him

    • @Val1414_
      @Val1414_ 3 года назад

      +

  • @Jeremy-fl2xt
    @Jeremy-fl2xt 3 года назад

    The amphiboly in this episode is truly legendary.
    Please, more (of this content).
    I won't object if Simon sees less punctuation.

  • @philvanderlaan5942
    @philvanderlaan5942 3 года назад +3

    ‘ Business blaze ‘ in a ‘ BrainBlaze’ video thank you Simon the psychic interference seems to be working #makeblazeBusinessagain

  • @uncle_thulhu
    @uncle_thulhu 2 года назад +1

    That British classic Yes, Prime Minister had the single best summary of who buys what paper. Keep in mind, this was made in the 80s, so some of these papers may no longer exist.
    "The Times is read by the people who run the country. The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by the people who think they ought to run the country. The Morning Star is read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country. The Independent is read by people who don’t know who runs the country but are sure they’re doing it wrong. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country. The Daily Express is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run. The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who still think it is their country. And the Sun’s readers don’t care who runs the country providing she has big tits."

  • @robfenwitch7403
    @robfenwitch7403 3 года назад +4

    It's time to announce changing the channel name again, to Business Blaze.

  • @ButWhyWasTaken
    @ButWhyWasTaken 3 года назад +2

    24:46 Agreed. It's a shame so many people prefer the original series because of nostalgia.

  • @Ratatoskie
    @Ratatoskie 3 года назад +7

    The sponsor would have been much better for casual criminalist.

  • @jasonwright1687
    @jasonwright1687 3 года назад

    I liked the added touch at the end on the brb screen... (Except we won't, because the show has already ended...) Had me laughing. 😂🍻💥

  • @joniroxanne96
    @joniroxanne96 3 года назад +13

    The lack of title is Danny's revenge for not knowing the opening riff to Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit". 😄
    I'm born in 1996, and I DO know it! 😁

    • @davidripley2916
      @davidripley2916 3 года назад

      With the lights out, they're more dangerous. . .😳