Ya, if the church cared about singles, or even building loving fellowship, there would be more classes on healthy relationships, healing from unhealthy attachment styles, calling out abusive relationships, fostering more opportunities for dating with biblical standards… not just say a couple sentences about fornication and be done. It sucks not to be able to have more community besides Sunday and Wed. Bible study.
Something that is concerning to me is how the church has been neutering men. Alot of the ones i have gone to have been really critical saying that women need to always lookout for the men and telling the men to be ashamed of their drive to get married or wanting any kind of relationship entirely.
My wife and I got married when I was 20 and she was 18. We have been married 11 years and have five children. I honestly can't imagine life without her.
I am tired of everything being blamed on men. Women in the "Church" never get held accountable for anything. The "Church" needs to repent for the sin of idolizing marriage.
I’m 42 and single never married & I have literally worked every position in church. This brings me to tears- I desire to be married but single guys my age are looking for younger women.
@@rohneshamhorne maybe you could find a "sweet widower." Some shriveled guy in his seventies with multiple health issues who just lost his wife and can't cook. The only reason elderly widowers get remarried. That's why I don't want to date or marry and cancelled my prayer years ago. I know God will have me marry some really old, sickly, entitled widower who doesn't love me and just wants to be waited on and thinks he is doing me a favor. "God's-best-for-you" would most likely be deaf and/or demented, have a bad temper, smell bad, and inspire intense, insurmountable physical revulsion and we would never have the slightest bit of emotional connection or affection or respect because of old age and inflexibility and he would only love his first wife. If he were not completely shallow and heartless and incapable of love or loyalty. . Best case scenario if I married. Miss out on romance, passion and every single good part so you can skip ahead to the nursemaid and sickbed stage. Staying single forever is much better. IMO.
22:30 thank y'all so much for this. This is so real. I just went to a singles event yesterday at my church. People often say singles events aren't for meeting people, but instead for "growing in Christ together". Which I'm like totally that is large part of it but omg we also want to meet people. I don't need male friends at this age ha. I want a husband. Guys almost 20 years older than me often introduce themselves, but that's not ideal. Trying to stay hopeful.
As a man being "friendzoned" on more than one occasion all through my late teens and 20s has made me completely bitter because it's nothing more than a sad reminder that I've never been able to succeed in having a successful relationship with a woman - Being single and in your 30s in the church is just depressing, part of the reason I've been watching online sermons at home for years now. The church has also failed to help people meet their future spouse so is it any wonder that more Christians have resorted to online dating apps :/ and then we can't forget men can't even safely ask a woman out anymore all thanks to the feminism / metoo movements
Don’t worry about all that metoo stuff. Unless you are legitimately doing something inappropriate or creepy or saying something overtly sexual, you go up and ask women out. If they elevate it to a fabricated issue, that’s on them, and God will punish them for their false words. You do right. If the world wants to destroy you for that or supposed Christians do, take after Christ. Remember their punishment is coming. And it’s worse than anything you or I could ever dream.
Im the only one of my close family members who isn't a mom. That being said, the ones who have kids were never married. So it's a catch 22 all around. Some days I'm hopeful about it all working out for my good, but man oh man other days it is really tough.
Involuntary celebacy is forced on men who want to start families. Then they’re expected to accept it with joy and if they don’t, they’re less spiritual.
It’s hard because the people who lived however and had kids not being married, at least they have their kids. The ones who tried to wait and wait for the right spouse sometimes end up 45 with no husband and no kids.
Millennials were raised to want marriage and family as the the most legitimate expression of Christian life and sexuality. And now a lot of us are 30s and 40s, alone, childless and no hope anywhere. No amount of levelling up or work seems to make things better. And having to watch others grasp easily what I longed for is not made easier by being a Christian.
We also have to address the physical realm of attack on masculinity - poor diet and endocrine disruptors. The physical affects the spiritual, and the spiritual affects the physical. It is a chronic, tragic feedback loop in society.
Thanks for this awesome discussion! I really enjoyed the entire thing! I just wanted to describe my situation since you hit some points I’m going through. I am actually 26 years right now at an evangelical church (it’s Baptist although I’m like their resident Wesleyan haha). I am single and I am the rhythm guitarist on the Sunday praise team that they use every week since yes I know I’m free haha. I have a job as a business statistician so a specialized position at a finance company, and am just about to finish my masters of science degree and looking to start and business possibly and pursue a PhD in applied mathematics God willing. At my church, there are older people and a lot of middle aged families. There are many in their 20s but are married and im one of the few guys single in his 20s (I had a relationship that went on for a while with a young woman but she had deep commitment issues which went back to some familial traumas so im not bitter, but it was best to let it go because it took up a lot of my years) but haven’t been on a date in almost 8 months and been single for almost a year now… there aren’t a ton of single young women at my church… but there is one lovely lady who is very sweet and quiet but she’s also very timid and seems to be quite sheltered by her mother and father, which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing actually, but it can be a bit difficult to communicate as I am sociable extrovert who enjoys those human interactions. How do I navigate these waters of Godly and biblical pursuit when it can seem very difficult? I feel God has placed me in this challenge for a reason to build character, so looking to other Godly men for advice. Thank you! Adam P.S. I really do hate online dating 🤣
Hey Adam, thanks for commenting and glad you found this video! I would direct you to staying committed to Biblical masculinity, which is being strong and confident. Hit the gym. Build muscles. Pursue your career to the best of your ability. Work on increasing your income so when you do get married you can provide for your wife so she can stay home. Pray. Read the Word. Focus on spreading the Gospel, and building up the church. And we do recommend online dating. If not, be involved in as many social settings where you can increase your odds to find a wife, but just make sure that she's a godly women: she loves and spends time with God. She can cook, clean, and wants to be a mother and tend to the kids. She's feminine, and isn't loud and masculine. She wants to find a man to lead her. I hope these tips help!
@@methodministriesHey, this is an older video, but while I do agree that it feels way more natural to be with feminine and more reserved women, I'm wondering what should happen to the louder christian women if everyone is seeking for the quieter ones? These are deep rooted personality traits afterall.
Great video (though nothing new) but marriage isn't better. Jesus Himself was single and he's the group's greatest. Jesus' singlehood is not an excuse to remain single. Both are equal but marriage has numerous benefits that singles do not possess. Singles experience higher levels of usury and lack of calls than married individuals 😀❤
Takeaways: - marriage, in general, is superior to singleness - don’t pass up online dating, it may be your best bet - changing your church for people near your age to marry is totally okay - women, look for churches with manly pastors, you’re likely to find a manly guy who will ask you out. (Presby, Reformed baptist, to name a few good guesses) - women, don’t hang around too many single women, you may also by into the lie that it’s good to stay single for a long time and you may choose paths that waste years of your life - women, hang around married women and older women who will encourage you in christlikeness and encourage you to become godly wife in the future - men, don’t string girls along, dating for 3 years burns your ability to building a godly family (consider her biological clock too!) - men, you can (and probably should) get a wife when you’re not in the best possible position in your career and when you’re unable to buy a house - men, be a man, hit the weight room, get a haircut - you only need ONE successful dating experience, even if you go through 1,000 failed ones.
Bitterness is also an excuse that some men make to avoid women they don't want to pay or date. It's a subtle blame game when they don't like the girl. They desire someone else, so some men create these bitter scenarios as an excuse to select someone else. It's a subtle blame game. I would like to know if I should watch more of these videos. At this point, I probably would not watch any more of these videos. You are telling people to marry now, but the reality is that it does not happen right away with a mutual relationship. Some people want you to marry those that no one likes using "beggars can't be choosers."
The structure of your average laser light show keeps people alone. They’d rather have small cliques in people’s homes than Sunday school because Sunday school would prevent having two services for more $$$$$
Did I just hear wes basically say that even an effeminate heterosexual is in danger of hell? Does he not realize that both he and the other guy have voices that are far from being manly. I am not trying to be harsh or mean but I think it fair to point out when you consider what Wes just said.
Men become monks and women become nuns. There was no dating for me there. I'm 32 years old and every woman but two rejected me. The first didn't want a second date. The other one I may go for if nothing works out.
We mentioned that actually. The singleness Paul spoke of was the singleness of Paul's life. Not a contemporary Christian attending church, serving their churches coffee bar all while swiping on Tinder.
36:55 what online dating apps or websites can a Christian use? I downloaded Tinder once but had to uninstall it because of how lewd and lustful most profiles were.
Your definition of love is far too small to include God and His love. Probably rethink that. Its seems your version of "The Chruch" seems more like peer pressure instead of an actual teaching from the Bible. I didn't hear a verse for each "what the church is saying" as evidence. Its really uncomfortable to tell someone to their face, "Your life problems are all your fault, and you have to change to reach your goals." It is no one else's fault you aren't likable. Now imagine you have to tell this to someone who is already emotional about the topic. If you were the type of person who was marriable or really wanted to be married, you would be married. Something is stopping you. Why aren't you praying for clarity about yourself? Is the "good" partner you're looking for God's version of good or yours? Are you seeking Him first (Proverbs 3:5-6)?
Guess what. I genuinely don't care. I'm thete to worship and serbe the lord not try and some personal explanation you may. I will tell thst to pastor on down to tje back pew. So get over yourself. I'm not intimidated one little bit 😂😅😊
Y’all should definitely debate these guys on May 21, 2011. P.S. I googled this, apparently this was another failed end times prediction by Harold Camping.
Free labor of singles? Perhaps this may be somewhat easier when they are rather young but this might not be so much easier then an older single. I agree everyone has to do work in the church but to think it is only singles (or ones without children) that have a bunch of free time might be very misguided thinking. A single person may have to work two or three jobs to just survive. Actually, it can cost much more to the single (tax rate is higher and if they own a home or even just responsible for their own rent and this is all very hard on a single person’s income. They also have to take care of their home all by themselves, may have to take care of a sick parent or other relative (since they are single the family may expect it will be easier for them).
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Ya, if the church cared about singles, or even building loving fellowship, there would be more classes on healthy relationships, healing from unhealthy attachment styles, calling out abusive relationships, fostering more opportunities for dating with biblical standards… not just say a couple sentences about fornication and be done. It sucks not to be able to have more community besides Sunday and Wed. Bible study.
Something that is concerning to me is how the church has been neutering men. Alot of the ones i have gone to have been really critical saying that women need to always lookout for the men and telling the men to be ashamed of their drive to get married or wanting any kind of relationship entirely.
Exactly. The modern church emasculates men.
That's a soft form of heresy, but it's there
My wife and I got married when I was 20 and she was 18. We have been married 11 years and have five children. I honestly can't imagine life without her.
That's awesome! Praise God!
I am tired of everything being blamed on men. Women in the "Church" never get held accountable for anything. The "Church" needs to repent for the sin of idolizing marriage.
I’m 42 and single never married & I have literally worked every position in church. This brings me to tears- I desire to be married but single guys my age are looking for younger women.
We feel your pain! God can redeem your time and provide. Pray He does! Come out from the lies in the meantime!
At fifty the only thing that consoles me is the hope of Heaven.
@@rohneshamhorne maybe you could find a "sweet widower." Some shriveled guy in his seventies with multiple health issues who just lost his wife and can't cook. The only reason elderly widowers get remarried. That's why I don't want to date or marry and cancelled my prayer years ago. I know God will have me marry some really old, sickly, entitled widower who doesn't love me and just wants to be waited on and thinks he is doing me a favor. "God's-best-for-you" would most likely be deaf and/or demented, have a bad temper, smell bad, and inspire intense, insurmountable physical revulsion and we would never have the slightest bit of emotional connection or affection or respect because of old age and inflexibility and he would only love his first wife. If he were not completely shallow and heartless and incapable of love or loyalty. . Best case scenario if I married. Miss out on romance, passion and every single good part so you can skip ahead to the nursemaid and sickbed stage. Staying single forever is much better. IMO.
22:30 thank y'all so much for this. This is so real. I just went to a singles event yesterday at my church. People often say singles events aren't for meeting people, but instead for "growing in Christ together". Which I'm like totally that is large part of it but omg we also want to meet people. I don't need male friends at this age ha. I want a husband. Guys almost 20 years older than me often introduce themselves, but that's not ideal. Trying to stay hopeful.
As a man being "friendzoned" on more than one occasion all through my late teens and 20s has made me completely bitter because it's nothing more than a sad reminder that I've never been able to succeed in having a successful relationship with a woman - Being single and in your 30s in the church is just depressing, part of the reason I've been watching online sermons at home for years now. The church has also failed to help people meet their future spouse so is it any wonder that more Christians have resorted to online dating apps :/ and then we can't forget men can't even safely ask a woman out anymore all thanks to the feminism / metoo movements
Don’t worry about all that metoo stuff. Unless you are legitimately doing something inappropriate or creepy or saying something overtly sexual, you go up and ask women out. If they elevate it to a fabricated issue, that’s on them, and God will punish them for their false words. You do right. If the world wants to destroy you for that or supposed Christians do, take after Christ. Remember their punishment is coming. And it’s worse than anything you or I could ever dream.
Im the only one of my close family members who isn't a mom. That being said, the ones who have kids were never married. So it's a catch 22 all around. Some days I'm hopeful about it all working out for my good, but man oh man other days it is really tough.
Involuntary celebacy is forced on men who want to start families. Then they’re expected to accept it with joy and if they don’t, they’re less spiritual.
👍🙏
It’s hard because the people who lived however and had kids not being married, at least they have their kids. The ones who tried to wait and wait for the right spouse sometimes end up 45 with no husband and no kids.
Millennials were raised to want marriage and family as the the most legitimate expression of Christian life and sexuality. And now a lot of us are 30s and 40s, alone, childless and no hope anywhere. No amount of levelling up or work seems to make things better. And having to watch others grasp easily what I longed for is not made easier by being a Christian.
Your closing remarks are super encouraging. Thank you and God bless 🙏🏽
What dating? I was stuck in the friend zone as a brother in Christ for 27 years before I left my church.
0:55 love: caring for the well being of others
Most people are married in those churches. They were Chinese churches. Marriage is expected before 27 for Chinese women.
There are not many singles at the church I was raised in. Just me and one woman. The same as the other church I went to.
We also have to address the physical realm of attack on masculinity - poor diet and endocrine disruptors. The physical affects the spiritual, and the spiritual affects the physical. It is a chronic, tragic feedback loop in society.
You're spot on!
Thanks for this awesome discussion! I really enjoyed the entire thing!
I just wanted to describe my situation since you hit some points I’m going through. I am actually 26 years right now at an evangelical church (it’s Baptist although I’m like their resident Wesleyan haha). I am single and I am the rhythm guitarist on the Sunday praise team that they use every week since yes I know I’m free haha. I have a job as a business statistician so a specialized position at a finance company, and am just about to finish my masters of science degree and looking to start and business possibly and pursue a PhD in applied mathematics God willing. At my church, there are older people and a lot of middle aged families. There are many in their 20s but are married and im one of the few guys single in his 20s (I had a relationship that went on for a while with a young woman but she had deep commitment issues which went back to some familial traumas so im not bitter, but it was best to let it go because it took up a lot of my years) but haven’t been on a date in almost 8 months and been single for almost a year now… there aren’t a ton of single young women at my church… but there is one lovely lady who is very sweet and quiet but she’s also very timid and seems to be quite sheltered by her mother and father, which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing actually, but it can be a bit difficult to communicate as I am sociable extrovert who enjoys those human interactions. How do I navigate these waters of Godly and biblical pursuit when it can seem very difficult? I feel God has placed me in this challenge for a reason to build character, so looking to other Godly men for advice.
Thank you!
Adam
P.S. I really do hate online dating 🤣
Hey Adam, thanks for commenting and glad you found this video! I would direct you to staying committed to Biblical masculinity, which is being strong and confident. Hit the gym. Build muscles. Pursue your career to the best of your ability. Work on increasing your income so when you do get married you can provide for your wife so she can stay home. Pray. Read the Word. Focus on spreading the Gospel, and building up the church. And we do recommend online dating. If not, be involved in as many social settings where you can increase your odds to find a wife, but just make sure that she's a godly women: she loves and spends time with God. She can cook, clean, and wants to be a mother and tend to the kids. She's feminine, and isn't loud and masculine. She wants to find a man to lead her. I hope these tips help!
@@methodministries thank you brother!
@@adamduarte895 You got it!
@@methodministriesHey, this is an older video, but while I do agree that it feels way more natural to be with feminine and more reserved women, I'm wondering what should happen to the louder christian women if everyone is seeking for the quieter ones? These are deep rooted personality traits afterall.
Do free work if you're single because you're not an adult or a complete person until you're married with kids.
Great video (though nothing new) but marriage isn't better. Jesus Himself was single and he's the group's greatest. Jesus' singlehood is not an excuse to remain single. Both are equal but marriage has numerous benefits that singles do not possess. Singles experience higher levels of usury and lack of calls than married individuals 😀❤
Takeaways:
- marriage, in general, is superior to singleness
- don’t pass up online dating, it may be your best bet
- changing your church for people near your age to marry is totally okay
- women, look for churches with manly pastors, you’re likely to find a manly guy who will ask you out. (Presby, Reformed baptist, to name a few good guesses)
- women, don’t hang around too many single women, you may also by into the lie that it’s good to stay single for a long time and you may choose paths that waste years of your life
- women, hang around married women and older women who will encourage you in christlikeness and encourage you to become godly wife in the future
- men, don’t string girls along, dating for 3 years burns your ability to building a godly family (consider her biological clock too!)
- men, you can (and probably should) get a wife when you’re not in the best possible position in your career and when you’re unable to buy a house
- men, be a man, hit the weight room, get a haircut
- you only need ONE successful dating experience, even if you go through 1,000 failed ones.
Thank you for this great summary!!
😂
Sure just get wife .Not in the USA. It’s a trap.
My family's Baptist Church only had Families. All the singles except me left.
Hero.
They also force singles to do free volunteer work or work only for a cheap lunch.
Bitterness is also an excuse that some men make to avoid women they don't want to pay or date. It's a subtle blame game when they don't like the girl. They desire someone else, so some men create these bitter scenarios as an excuse to select someone else. It's a subtle blame game. I would like to know if I should watch more of these videos. At this point, I probably would not watch any more of these videos. You are telling people to marry now, but the reality is that it does not happen right away with a mutual relationship. Some people want you to marry those that no one likes using "beggars can't be choosers."
this is good stuff
I appreciate it!
Bitterness is also an excuse that some men make to avoid women they don't want to pay or date.
The structure of your average laser light show keeps people alone. They’d rather have small cliques in people’s homes than Sunday school because Sunday school would prevent having two services for more $$$$$
Did I just hear wes basically say that even an effeminate heterosexual is in danger of hell? Does he not realize that both he and the other guy have voices that are far from being manly. I am not trying to be harsh or mean but I think it fair to point out when you consider what Wes just said.
If you don't have a desire for the opposite sex then you have the gift of singleness. If not you have the gift of marriage.
My parents dated for 6 weeks before getting engaged.
Not commiting? No women except for one want me. They wasted 17 years of my life from 15 to 32 years old.
The third woman ran away from her home church.
Men become monks and women become nuns. There was no dating for me there. I'm 32 years old and every woman but two rejected me. The first didn't want a second date. The other one I may go for if nothing works out.
Some people just want you to be the "happy slave" as an analogy only.
There are no single women that attend the church I attended
Church idolize marriage and families
Age gap dating isn't allowed.
How ‘bout 1 Corinthians 7?
We mentioned that actually. The singleness Paul spoke of was the singleness of Paul's life. Not a contemporary Christian attending church, serving their churches coffee bar all while swiping on Tinder.
36:55 what online dating apps or websites can a Christian use? I downloaded Tinder once but had to uninstall it because of how lewd and lustful most profiles were.
There are many apps that allow you to filter based upon religion. I would search around and do a little research and I'm sure you'll easily find them.
@@methodministries Alright, thanks for this vid, it helped me a lot
@@libatonvhs Great to hear!
Hillsong / Bethel / Elevation = a nightclub / rock concert idolatry atmosphere disguised as worship
Your definition of love is far too small to include God and His love. Probably rethink that. Its seems your version of "The Chruch" seems more like peer pressure instead of an actual teaching from the Bible. I didn't hear a verse for each "what the church is saying" as evidence.
Its really uncomfortable to tell someone to their face, "Your life problems are all your fault, and you have to change to reach your goals." It is no one else's fault you aren't likable. Now imagine you have to tell this to someone who is already emotional about the topic. If you were the type of person who was marriable or really wanted to be married, you would be married. Something is stopping you. Why aren't you praying for clarity about yourself? Is the "good" partner you're looking for God's version of good or yours? Are you seeking Him first (Proverbs 3:5-6)?
Guess what. I genuinely don't care. I'm thete to worship and serbe the lord not try and some personal explanation you may. I will tell thst to pastor on down to tje back pew. So get over yourself. I'm not intimidated one little bit
😂😅😊
The churh age is over! Why dont you debate us?! It will be a great biblical time😊
*Church
No idea who you are or what you’re debating.
@@methodministries The end of the church age, May 21, 2011, take your pick..ty
Y’all should definitely debate these guys on May 21, 2011.
P.S. I googled this, apparently this was another failed end times prediction by Harold Camping.
@@JonathanLaRiviere they aren't interested- however they could use the ratings
Free labor of singles? Perhaps this may be somewhat easier when they are rather young but this might not be so much easier then an older single. I agree everyone has to do work in the church but to think it is only singles (or ones without children) that have a bunch of free time might be very misguided thinking. A single person may have to work two or three jobs to just survive. Actually, it can cost much more to the single (tax rate is higher and if they own a home or even just responsible for their own rent and this is all very hard on a single person’s income. They also have to take care of their home all by themselves, may have to take care of a sick parent or other relative (since they are single the family may expect it will be easier for them).
What about no groups but just go to Church only ? Like Jesus did. Everybody.
H.L. Dye