op tried so damn hard to not sound like a complete asshole, but you can just smell her rotten heart and truth intentions because she doesnt really know whats the right thing and the wrong thing here
Her informing her sister was the right thing to do. I would’ve done that if I was in that position as well. However, telling your entire family was a personal attack on him. Like one of the commenters said “You didn’t get the reaction you wanted the first TWO times so you went and blabbed to whoever would listen.”
I dont think so, I would be very shocked if my bil told me what ops bil said. I would take my sister to the side and talk to her first, then make a decide if I should tell anyone else. But I would tell my sister she should come clean.
I feel like if this was a work of fiction, it would be more likely than not that OP would have written a conclusion or a happy ending to this. But seeing as she deleted her account after the backlash, it seems more likely that it's unfortunately real.
I remember st1 "Obviously, that wasn't my intention." No OP it was obviously your intention, he told OP about his past because he thought he could trust and respect her to keep it between them but she's a loudmouth who can't be trusted and it's hilarious she deleted her account because she can't take any criticism, she thinks she's in the right.
Wrong way to share is past with op, should have been with her sister a d not at an family event. I know form personal experinace how much an addict can fuck up those around them.
And everyone treating OP like a freak after she shared her story is just OK? Using drugs is apparently not your fault. But telling people something that you are concerned about makes you the devil.
@@nehcrumSo I assume you would be absolutely fine if someone you trusted with a very personal secret told whoever they wanted to about it? That if you were holding off on telling people about a very dark part of your life, but one of the few people you confided in went and spread that information to a lot of people you didn't want to tell yet, you wouldn't care in the slightest? Because I very much doubt you'd be so apathetic if you experienced the same thing
@@nehcrumI think they are treating her actions and the way she behaves towards others, that of a freak. there is a bit of irony in op looking at FBIL as a potential danger, when in reality it's myopically self absorbed ppl like op are a danger in society as well.
Literally, boo freaking hoo you may have ruined a relationship, possibly will be the direct cause for a relapse or suicide in the future even if not at the time of post, and have ruined any relationship with your sister and her ex fiancée.
see thinking that is not okay too. We dont know his story , how long he is clean etc. To think that an addicts relapses after every vad event is wrong. Or He wouldn't have ever got clean. He may relapses but you cant say most likely. That is not fair to him.
@@hennigadient4265 Oh I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying that after getting kicked down so hard it wouldn't be surprising if he did and it would be all on OP.
"It is my responsibility to make sure-" NO TF it WASN'T. It's not like he confided in her that he'd been a didler but is now reformed, a current gambling/money addiction, or history of violence he's still working on. He, in confidence, told you he was once at a very low point but no longer felt that in his current, wtih your sister, your family, with YOU. And OP judged him for having a past and made it a point that others ostrizie him as SHE felt he deserved to be like she's high and mighty. Now her sister lost her relationship and won't talk to her, the fam is divided but mostly agree that you are the problem. Atrocious.
Honestly, OP isn’t wrong for judging FBIL’s former lifestyle, we all have the right to our opinion BUT exposing him like that to your entire family is truly AH behavior, that wasn’t your place. If my sister was in this situation, at most all I’m doing is having a 1 on 1 convo with her. And if she already knows, IM LEAVING IT AT THAT.
OP reminds me of the story where parents found out that their daughter married an addict. If I remember correctly,the Dad started requiring the SIL to take a drug test before entering the house. I could see OP doing this.
Yeah, the people who say the past doesn’t matter are usually the ones with a past that matters, HOWEVER, when she told the sister and she said she was aware of it and accepted him for who he was and who he is, it should’ve stopped there. That line where she claimed it was her responsibility to inform her family of his past issues was where it was made really apparent the kind of person OP is, and everything just kept spiraling from there
@@agx8447 "That line where she claimed it was her responsibility to inform her family of his past issues was where it was made really apparent the kind of person OP is" - yep. It would be absolutely understandable if OP shared that STB BIL was a child A'er or anything else that directly damaged others (specially those that can't defend themselves)... But sharing that he "hurt" himself in multiple ways... This doesn't protect anyone else which means her intentions where never good.
In the first one, the way it went , I think its more than likely if the OP had kept her mouth shut, the FBIL would have most likely told the rest of the family himself if he got a positive response. Sadly he wont ever get that chance , and the OP saying this behind his back probably means that the family will think it's something he was trying to hide from them instead of not telling them, while OP claims she doesn't see him differently neither does any of the family sadly I find that hard to belive. If what some of the comments suggest is true , that he was exploited in some way when he was growing up this is even worse, he should not feel shame because of something that wasn't actually his fault , sad yes , but not ashemed now he feels ashemed , whats more OP then took someones suffering and turned them into a possible immoral act. By OP's own addmission he never gave any red flags , so what then made her belive that he hadnt or couldn't change. One more thing i found disturbing if FBIL was really abused as a child/teenager is that she called it "lifestyle" . He didnt choose that , he was forced into it , he didnt get into for money or pleasure, it was the only surival he had at that time, and clearly given the chance he has changed it
Story 1: I can get telling the sister, but OP didn’t tell the family because she was “trying to protect the family by giving them all information so they can make the decision with FBIL”. She was a gossip who wanted to stir up drama and get a more dramatic reaction
At first I thought it was going to be like "Oh...I killed a guy one time but never got caught" or something...Like...fuck. You know you fucked up when a Reddit comment section is united.
1 OP is trully cruel person,no guilt or shame and plays victim and can t face the truth is...despisable and disgusting,now i dream about her sister post or some other conclusion to story
Op is terrible for destroying her sister relationship necessarily cause her judgment and i agree with her sister not talking to her.i don't care for judgemental people whom don't bother asking all information before judgment op yta
@@STAYATINYARMYSINI hope you can find it, I really want to know the rest of the story. Since in here OP just ruined the relationship with her sister forever no matter the outcomes.
I mean I a recovering addic for 7 years and I’m 21 and my grandmother knows about it but she doesn’t just tell my whole family about that I mean it’s hard sometimes but you just need a person you can rely on and he trusted you you were supposed to be that person who he could rely on
@@SecretVoices25 I’m 5 months sober trying to get my life back together trying to stay sober especially for my family I’m in a sober living so I’m feeling good
The people commenting should really look up the definition of lifestyle before posting their comments... Lifestyle: the way in which a person lives; - Anything that may have even the slightest impact in the way you live is lifestyle.
Ex furure bil committed the mistake of opening up, he though his future sil was as caring and empathetic as his gf, wrong now she burned him to dust and she seeks sympathy bexause everyone is telling her she is a piece of 💩. Story 2 time to go nc with mom, she didnt believe yiu nir auppurted op, and lawyer up to avoid giving child support to a grifter like the ex
OP being biphobic blowing up in her face is the only thing that I find unbelievable. I'm a bisexual man who has dated other openly bisexual people and their relatives almost always start in about how "untrustworthy and shady" I am and almost always, they all side with the bigot.
Idk why people are so defensive abt drûg addict past... Or not treat someone based on past crime'... These people would be okay letting theirs around a pedophîles or rapîst... After they say they hav changed. And yea its not OP secret to share...
It’s a sin to share someone’s sensitive info to other people from someone who they confided with and get them into more trouble but it’s never ok to promote death threats…
I would have understood if OP talked about her future bil's info with her sister only. And even excused it if she talked about I with her husband. But going further than that is disgusting.
Oh, you may be furious, but I've included some comments that may feel like too many. However, I feel like each comment comes from a very deep place. Let me know what you think
You need to treat these things like you would if a friend was coming out of the closet or a trauma victim, which he probably was. Wait till they are ready regardless of how long it takes. You know, they know, thats all that matters
That list deserves a bit of criticism there. It's a book below so beware lmao 1. Betrayal of trust is indeed very serious, and I fully agree that she's TA for betraying such trust. Honestly, very scummy. 2. Being judgmental of sex workers is very common and honestly there is nothing wrong with that. Many people see that style of life and way to earn money as disgusting, and I do too. Nobody should sell their body and get STDs that could be incredibly life-altering and deadly. Not to mention, most sex workers are abused on the job, so there's nothing like letting someone literally beat the hell out of you as they use you just for some cash when you could make equal if not more pay working dead-end jobs. If you're attractive enough to be on the street corner, you're attractive enough to get a few tips as a waitress/waiter or you could go flip some damn burgers. Sure, it takes a bit longer, but you don't get beaten and battered and you don't catch disgusting diseases that others are very likely to have. It's a senselessly dangerous job and the little pay you get isn't worth it. I've seen braindead takes comparing sex work to doctors and honestly you have a few screws loose if you genuinely believe that trash. 2.5. Addiction is a life choice. You made the choice to take a drug and take it enough that your body grew dependent. It is not a disease and anyone who believes that is a brainlet. You cannot catch addiction, you cannot treat addiction with medication. You have to stop taking it and let your body feel that sickness as it purges from your system and returns to normalcy. It is a life choice, and one that can be hard to get out of, but you made that bed so now you get to lay in it. Consequences to your actions are not a disease ffs. While judging people too harshly on addiction can oftentimes go too far, OP here didn't seem to make any relevant comment other than state the objective truth that those who have escaped addiction are very likely to return. Of course, they have basically no faith in the (former)FBiL and offer no support, and that is something that can be levied against them. But for informing their partner and the family on a possibility isn't really wrong in-and-of itself. 3. This "disease" doesn't exist, and it is a life-style choice. As mentioned before, they made that choice, and so the consequences are theirs to bear. Skill issue. 4. Wtf? No it doesn't. It's to clarify they have done more than what one may thing, and goes to show that they could develop health problems from both ends later down the line. They didn't mention anything about one or the other being more disgusting. You can dislike things equally, that doesn't make it "homophobic." You're just looking for an excuse to call her that. 5. No. She did not treat her like that. What she did was explain to others what he the (former)FBiL did. She could and seems to still seek him out and is making that decision, she didn't block or prevent her from doing anything or try to convince her it was wrong. You are pulling at strings here. 6. This point is valid. She doesn't have the awareness to understand what she did was wrong, and I fully agree with that. She does deserve all the garbage thrown her way for effectively ruining a situation that could otherwise have been fine. The (former)FBiL could've brought this up with the family at a later point if he felt comfortable, especially if they became a good proper support group. From there the family sorts itself out. All she did was throw a fire in a haybale and burnt everything down. 7. It matters not if they're a teen, adult, or 70 yr old man. If he was old enough to make the choices he did, then he was old enough to understand the risks. He may not have known them, but then it would be his fault for not actually looking into anything. While I don't blame him for any of this mess, I do pin his actions on him. Believe it or not, there is a difference between victim-blaming and holding people accountable. TL;DR: OP did something stupid, yes, but most of the points make no sense and falter under scrutiny. It wasn't her fault he did what he did, and she was simply stating things as they were relevant. Her talking about him behind his back is scummy, I agree, but she is entitled to her own opinions on the matters at hand. She stated she disagreed, stated the facts, and told the family that there are risks involved, which is completely accurate. Betrayal of trust was bad, but she also made what she believed was the best call. While I won't say what she did was right, I will say I can understand her point of view, even if I disagree with it. Edit: LMAO So OP somehow "played the victim card" when explaining her side and her take? What sort of mental gymnastics are these guys trying to play here? Average Reddit moment I swear to god XD
If my English was good enough THIS is exactly what i would have written. OP is obviously TA but the Mr. Fantastic levels of stretching that redditors go into to justify their opinions, even when such justifications are not at all needed, is absurd. "While I won't say what she did was right, I will say I can understand her point of view, even if I disagree with it."' 👌
@@IceJJFishArchive There is a difference between getting assaulted and offering yourself for payment. One is a crime, the other is (also a crime) but it's also a service you're getting paid for. If you honestly think I'm discrediting sexual assault victims because I said someone made a dumb choice, then you have some self-reflecting to do my friend.
@@deathound entering SW is often done under duress, not every choice is enthusiastically made. Also, teens cannot do SW, as they are incapable of consent. The resulting products from that is CSA material and CSA.
@@IceJJFishArchive True on the CP and CSA. However, as you said yourself, not all of those choices are made under duress. Even still, you can be rational and take things into consideration when under duress. To add to that, to even make the choice of entering the Sex Work industry, you have to do your research on the topic, especially when you go out to make p*rn (thanks RUclips censorship!) because they don’t just let anyone in and you have to basically ‘register’ and sign legal documents and what not. All of this, and yet they still can’t comprehend that “hey, maybe this isn’t a good idea?” Sure pal. Plenty of time to think on it, plenty of opportunities to investigate the risk/reward, and honestly a 16 year old has the mental capacity to know how to do a google search. If this was 1850? Sure, I could see it. But this happened during the 90s easily, where computers were common and the internet had tons of information a click away. Plus many forums one could go to and ask about it. Tbh it’s all super sketchy when you think about it, I can’t see him getting into sex work at such a young age. The best I can think of is that the p*rn he was in and stuff was probably just some home videos of himself or some pictures, because majority of places would reject him.
People on here raging at OP and saying it’s her fault for what he might do because all is exposed is lame and trashy. They are doing exactly what they are accusing her of doing. Bullying and virtue signaling her to death. People can have their own opinions, no matter how shitty it may be. Recovery teaches you to take ownership of your sobriety. You are the master of your life and addiction. You are always going to run into AHs in life, facts! Also, op can say whatever, people will form their own opinions at the end. This is why Reddit can be such a toxic place.
NTA, she only looks after her sister. But she could have done it in a better way and talk to the sister first. If he felt the need to tell his fiances family, he should have done so with his fiance in a controlled envierment. Not just spill it on a family party.
Not at all would that be proving them right, she ruined her relationship with her sister and her ex fiancée, ruined his self esteem, has only proven his trust issues to be entirely correct, easily could have permanently ruined the relationship with her sister and her ex fiancée, if that fiancée relapses it is entire her fault and proves nothing but she is a terrible person who does not deserve any form of support in this fight
@@noahdaanimalguy7673 not everyone turns to alcohol/drugs just bc of some hardship. It still makes OP a POS, but that is still something in his control, so it is his fault for relapsing.
If he relapses because of OP's inability of being half a decent person, it proves he and the sister were right to distance themselves from any potential risk of FBIL's relapse.
This is stupid. The op in story one did the right thing she's looking out for her family. If I found out my bro girl had a mess up pass, I'll let my bro know i dont care if she told me in as a secret my loyalty is to my family
If the sister knew and accepted it why did anyone else need to know? She did that just so she could get validation for how she felt and it backfired on her dumbass.
But the sister that was going to marry him already knew and she didn't care. I can understand that first part, but the rest is Just being a butthurt scumbag if that provokes the engagement to be broken.... Like what was the point after the sister told her it was all okey? 😢
@@KamadreJohnson Easley, when 2 people get married, they're also becoming part of their partner family, and if one of the partners have a pass, they need to let the family they marry into know
@@SecretVoices25omg same I also like your comments. I like hearing your input on the situations because it shows you’re really putting time and thought into your videos.
2nd story: always demand paternity tests, if someone takes someone's side without proof, they are not your friend and should be treated as a potential threat. Also if a partner cheats and there is a kid, push for full custody if the paternity is established. Try to get a parenting time evaluation done, as these will establish who should be the custodial parent and how parenting time should be distributed.
**Notable Comments**
“You Suck”
I lost it
I imagine the replies to that were “understandable, have a nice day” 😭🤣💀
I find the comment about how we literally only have OP's side of the story and yet everyone's still unanimously against them extremely funny
op tried so damn hard to not sound like a complete asshole, but you can just smell her rotten heart and truth intentions because she doesnt really know whats the right thing and the wrong thing here
Her informing her sister was the right thing to do. I would’ve done that if I was in that position as well. However, telling your entire family was a personal attack on him. Like one of the commenters said “You didn’t get the reaction you wanted the first TWO times so you went and blabbed to whoever would listen.”
I dont think so, I would be very shocked if my bil told me what ops bil said. I would take my sister to the side and talk to her first, then make a decide if I should tell anyone else. But I would tell my sister she should come clean.
@@pettsson1143come clean about what? This is not her story to tell.
@@pettsson1143 it's between them, the family has no business knowing
@@rubymeaddlei wonder if op would be happy if this happened to her, not like her high status family would care
Your husband, sure.
Your sister, ok, she has the right to know.
BUT THE REST OF THE FAMILY?!?
LOL “The discussion has been locked and everyone is messaging telling me to kill myself”
Then OP starts apologizing waaaaay too late lol
Please tell me the first story is fake.... Is so freaking depressing.....
While so many reddit stories are fake, the way OP doubles and triples down in an attempt to justify things makes me think it has to be real.
I feel like if this was a work of fiction, it would be more likely than not that OP would have written a conclusion or a happy ending to this. But seeing as she deleted her account after the backlash, it seems more likely that it's unfortunately real.
I remember st1
"Obviously, that wasn't my intention."
No OP it was obviously your intention, he told OP about his past because he thought he could trust and respect her to keep it between them but she's a loudmouth who can't be trusted and it's hilarious she deleted her account because she can't take any criticism, she thinks she's in the right.
Wrong way to share is past with op, should have been with her sister a d not at an family event.
I know form personal experinace how much an addict can fuck up those around them.
she thought every one will 👏👏👏 her .
OP treating FBIL like a freak after he shared his adverse life events is just terrible
And everyone treating OP like a freak after she shared her story is just OK?
Using drugs is apparently not your fault. But telling people something that you are concerned about makes you the devil.
@@nehcrumSo I assume you would be absolutely fine if someone you trusted with a very personal secret told whoever they wanted to about it? That if you were holding off on telling people about a very dark part of your life, but one of the few people you confided in went and spread that information to a lot of people you didn't want to tell yet, you wouldn't care in the slightest? Because I very much doubt you'd be so apathetic if you experienced the same thing
@@mr.halfright You're missing my point.
That point being that two wrongs don't make a right.
@@nehcrumI think they are treating her actions and the way she behaves towards others, that of a freak.
there is a bit of irony in op looking at FBIL as a potential danger, when in reality it's myopically self absorbed ppl like op are a danger in society as well.
She did say "because of children in the family"
So she is judging him
She's disgusting
Shes literally meaning the children isn't safe around him
SHE's DISGUSTING?!?!?! HE WAS A LITERAL MAN-WH**E AND DRUG ADDICT LMAO
WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO JUDGE A DEGENERATE EX-POR^STAR AND DRUG ADDICT
"I doubt anyone will feel any sympathy for me, but the damage this has done is devastating."
Well, poor you
😂😂😂😂
Literally, boo freaking hoo you may have ruined a relationship, possibly will be the direct cause for a relapse or suicide in the future even if not at the time of post, and have ruined any relationship with your sister and her ex fiancée.
OP got COOKED!
🔥🔥🔥
Waiter: How would you like your like your OP cooked?
Commenters: Carbon 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Cooked?! She was burnt so bad that the only thing left was ashes
S1: YTA. She should have left it at just telling the sister.
S2: NTA. It's your own mother's fault she fell for this scam.
Man, i wish this is rage bait. Some people are just human shaped snakes.
Don't insult snakes like that. They're the excrement the snakes leave behind.
how many tigrex?
@@YUN6_V3NUZ way to many :(
This will most likely lead to a relapse and OP will be fully responsible for that.
see thinking that is not okay too. We dont know his story , how long he is clean etc. To think that an addicts relapses after every vad event is wrong. Or He wouldn't have ever got clean. He may relapses but you cant say most likely. That is not fair to him.
@@hennigadient4265 Oh I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying that after getting kicked down so hard it wouldn't be surprising if he did and it would be all on OP.
"It is my responsibility to make sure-" NO TF it WASN'T. It's not like he confided in her that he'd been a didler but is now reformed, a current gambling/money addiction, or history of violence he's still working on. He, in confidence, told you he was once at a very low point but no longer felt that in his current, wtih your sister, your family, with YOU. And OP judged him for having a past and made it a point that others ostrizie him as SHE felt he deserved to be like she's high and mighty. Now her sister lost her relationship and won't talk to her, the fam is divided but mostly agree that you are the problem. Atrocious.
This is so unbelievably infuriating and depressing. That poor man. I’m so glad you put the comments in, I needed to hear OP get destroyed
Honestly, OP isn’t wrong for judging FBIL’s former lifestyle, we all have the right to our opinion BUT exposing him like that to your entire family is truly AH behavior, that wasn’t your place. If my sister was in this situation, at most all I’m doing is having a 1 on 1 convo with her. And if she already knows, IM LEAVING IT AT THAT.
OP reminds me of the story where parents found out that their daughter married an addict. If I remember correctly,the Dad started requiring the SIL to take a drug test before entering the house.
I could see OP doing this.
Yeah, the people who say the past doesn’t matter are usually the ones with a past that matters, HOWEVER, when she told the sister and she said she was aware of it and accepted him for who he was and who he is, it should’ve stopped there. That line where she claimed it was her responsibility to inform her family of his past issues was where it was made really apparent the kind of person OP is, and everything just kept spiraling from there
@@agx8447 I agree 100%
@@agx8447 "That line where she claimed it was her responsibility to inform her family of his past issues was where it was made really apparent the kind of person OP is" - yep. It would be absolutely understandable if OP shared that STB BIL was a child A'er or anything else that directly damaged others (specially those that can't defend themselves)... But sharing that he "hurt" himself in multiple ways... This doesn't protect anyone else which means her intentions where never good.
In the first one, the way it went , I think its more than likely if the OP had kept her mouth shut, the FBIL would have most likely told the rest of the family himself if he got a positive response. Sadly he wont ever get that chance , and the OP saying this behind his back probably means that the family will think it's something he was trying to hide from them instead of not telling them, while OP claims she doesn't see him differently neither does any of the family sadly I find that hard to belive. If what some of the comments suggest is true , that he was exploited in some way when he was growing up this is even worse, he should not feel shame because of something that wasn't actually his fault , sad yes , but not ashemed now he feels ashemed , whats more OP then took someones suffering and turned them into a possible immoral act. By OP's own addmission he never gave any red flags , so what then made her belive that he hadnt or couldn't change. One more thing i found disturbing if FBIL was really abused as a child/teenager is that she called it "lifestyle" . He didnt choose that , he was forced into it , he didnt get into for money or pleasure, it was the only surival he had at that time, and clearly given the chance he has changed it
Story 1: I can get telling the sister, but OP didn’t tell the family because she was “trying to protect the family by giving them all information so they can make the decision with FBIL”. She was a gossip who wanted to stir up drama and get a more dramatic reaction
At first I thought it was going to be like "Oh...I killed a guy one time but never got caught" or something...Like...fuck. You know you fucked up when a Reddit comment section is united.
Some people project far too much. You may as well call them a movie theatre.
1 OP is trully cruel person,no guilt or shame and plays victim and can t face the truth is...despisable and disgusting,now i dream about her sister post or some other conclusion to story
Op is terrible for destroying her sister relationship necessarily cause her judgment and i agree with her sister not talking to her.i don't care for judgemental people whom don't bother asking all information before judgment op yta
Well well well... If it isnt the consequences of your own actions...
I think there’s a post where it’s the pov of the sister who was engaged to the BIL
Do you know the post’s title?
@@JuanSanchez-rv9xy I tried looking for it because it was made into a video but I can’t remember what channel it was
@@STAYATINYARMYSINI hope you can find it, I really want to know the rest of the story. Since in here OP just ruined the relationship with her sister forever no matter the outcomes.
What a horrible person. That poor dude.
I mean I a recovering addic for 7 years and I’m 21 and my grandmother knows about it but she doesn’t just tell my whole family about that I mean it’s hard sometimes but you just need a person you can rely on and he trusted you you were supposed to be that person who he could rely on
💯💯💯💯
That's great to know how you are doing now?
@@SecretVoices25 I’m 5 months sober trying to get my life back together trying to stay sober especially for my family I’m in a sober living so I’m feeling good
Keep it going man stay strong and healthy ❤️❤️
The people commenting should really look up the definition of lifestyle before posting their comments...
Lifestyle: the way in which a person lives; - Anything that may have even the slightest impact in the way you live is lifestyle.
You can say that but you’re acting like people don’t use “lifestyle” to downplay someone’s sexuality or a job they do to survive
People actually use dictionary definition?
@@IceJJFishArchive So much projection... Are you a theater?
@@NessieNice Only if they care to be honest. The ones who want to later claim "that is not what i meant" surely don't care about definitions.
Ex furure bil committed the mistake of opening up, he though his future sil was as caring and empathetic as his gf, wrong now she burned him to dust and she seeks sympathy bexause everyone is telling her she is a piece of 💩. Story 2 time to go nc with mom, she didnt believe yiu nir auppurted op, and lawyer up to avoid giving child support to a grifter like the ex
OP absconds herself of the consequences of her actions in short she lacks accountability.
OP being biphobic blowing up in her face is the only thing that I find unbelievable. I'm a bisexual man who has dated other openly bisexual people and their relatives almost always start in about how "untrustworthy and shady" I am and almost always, they all side with the bigot.
Idk why people are so defensive abt drûg addict past... Or not treat someone based on past crime'... These people would be okay letting theirs around a pedophîles or rapîst... After they say they hav changed.
And yea its not OP secret to share...
Rare reddit w
Ok, so many things wrong in the initial post and I was going to list them, but one of the commenters actually did a good job doing so.
Story 2 momma gets to live alone lmao
You do your best to get yourself up, but there are always people trying to push you down
I like it how the comments telling op to kill herself like that going to help With the problem if OP did that That just makes things worse
I'm just thinking out of the box here, but probably that'd help any one else's secrets from being spreaded
@@NessieNice true but then yet again do they really want op to commit suicidé
It’s a sin to share someone’s sensitive info to other people from someone who they confided with and get them into more trouble but it’s never ok to promote death threats…
Every main stream religious book talks proudly about the K'lling of the non believers... and you wanna talk about sin?
@@VRDejaVu fair point
Of course they would delete their Reddit accounts once they realized that the people are against them
I would have understood if OP talked about her future bil's info with her sister only. And even excused it if she talked about I with her husband. But going further than that is disgusting.
I can't wait to hear this one.
Oh, you may be furious, but I've included some comments that may feel like too many. However, I feel like each comment comes from a very deep place. Let me know what you think
No doubt the bridge is obliterated. Op is such a traitor.
Sacred Confidentiality is important.
I hate when people do this crap, they destroy lives.
You need to treat these things like you would if a friend was coming out of the closet or a trauma victim, which he probably was.
Wait till they are ready regardless of how long it takes. You know, they know, thats all that matters
Where did 2nd OP get these friends and family? Wish???
Story 1 HOW DARE YOU YTA YOUR SISTER ALREADY KNEW WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DESTROY HIM!
Way to many comments posted with 1st story.
if wasn't your intention than what was the point????
I bet OP's own husband didn't agree to spread FBIL's past and thought the "it's my duty to my family!" part was a joke.
I agree for the most part, but some of these redditors are unhinged. get a hold of yourself weirdos lmao
I would not have invited BIL to my house if i felt a way....thats about all I'd do. I dont understand how his general presence is a problem for OP.
I have get hate but indint think Op the asshile for story one😶
That list deserves a bit of criticism there. It's a book below so beware lmao
1. Betrayal of trust is indeed very serious, and I fully agree that she's TA for betraying such trust. Honestly, very scummy.
2. Being judgmental of sex workers is very common and honestly there is nothing wrong with that. Many people see that style of life and way to earn money as disgusting, and I do too. Nobody should sell their body and get STDs that could be incredibly life-altering and deadly. Not to mention, most sex workers are abused on the job, so there's nothing like letting someone literally beat the hell out of you as they use you just for some cash when you could make equal if not more pay working dead-end jobs. If you're attractive enough to be on the street corner, you're attractive enough to get a few tips as a waitress/waiter or you could go flip some damn burgers. Sure, it takes a bit longer, but you don't get beaten and battered and you don't catch disgusting diseases that others are very likely to have. It's a senselessly dangerous job and the little pay you get isn't worth it. I've seen braindead takes comparing sex work to doctors and honestly you have a few screws loose if you genuinely believe that trash.
2.5. Addiction is a life choice. You made the choice to take a drug and take it enough that your body grew dependent. It is not a disease and anyone who believes that is a brainlet. You cannot catch addiction, you cannot treat addiction with medication. You have to stop taking it and let your body feel that sickness as it purges from your system and returns to normalcy. It is a life choice, and one that can be hard to get out of, but you made that bed so now you get to lay in it. Consequences to your actions are not a disease ffs. While judging people too harshly on addiction can oftentimes go too far, OP here didn't seem to make any relevant comment other than state the objective truth that those who have escaped addiction are very likely to return. Of course, they have basically no faith in the (former)FBiL and offer no support, and that is something that can be levied against them. But for informing their partner and the family on a possibility isn't really wrong in-and-of itself.
3. This "disease" doesn't exist, and it is a life-style choice. As mentioned before, they made that choice, and so the consequences are theirs to bear. Skill issue.
4. Wtf? No it doesn't. It's to clarify they have done more than what one may thing, and goes to show that they could develop health problems from both ends later down the line. They didn't mention anything about one or the other being more disgusting. You can dislike things equally, that doesn't make it "homophobic." You're just looking for an excuse to call her that.
5. No. She did not treat her like that. What she did was explain to others what he the (former)FBiL did. She could and seems to still seek him out and is making that decision, she didn't block or prevent her from doing anything or try to convince her it was wrong. You are pulling at strings here.
6. This point is valid. She doesn't have the awareness to understand what she did was wrong, and I fully agree with that. She does deserve all the garbage thrown her way for effectively ruining a situation that could otherwise have been fine. The (former)FBiL could've brought this up with the family at a later point if he felt comfortable, especially if they became a good proper support group. From there the family sorts itself out. All she did was throw a fire in a haybale and burnt everything down.
7. It matters not if they're a teen, adult, or 70 yr old man. If he was old enough to make the choices he did, then he was old enough to understand the risks. He may not have known them, but then it would be his fault for not actually looking into anything. While I don't blame him for any of this mess, I do pin his actions on him. Believe it or not, there is a difference between victim-blaming and holding people accountable.
TL;DR: OP did something stupid, yes, but most of the points make no sense and falter under scrutiny. It wasn't her fault he did what he did, and she was simply stating things as they were relevant. Her talking about him behind his back is scummy, I agree, but she is entitled to her own opinions on the matters at hand. She stated she disagreed, stated the facts, and told the family that there are risks involved, which is completely accurate. Betrayal of trust was bad, but she also made what she believed was the best call. While I won't say what she did was right, I will say I can understand her point of view, even if I disagree with it.
Edit: LMAO So OP somehow "played the victim card" when explaining her side and her take? What sort of mental gymnastics are these guys trying to play here? Average Reddit moment I swear to god XD
If my English was good enough THIS is exactly what i would have written.
OP is obviously TA but the Mr. Fantastic levels of stretching that redditors go into to justify their opinions, even when such justifications are not at all needed, is absurd.
"While I won't say what she did was right, I will say I can understand her point of view, even if I disagree with it."' 👌
Your point number 7 is the same logic people use to discredit victims of SA and CSA. May a federal agency keep you at bay
@@IceJJFishArchive There is a difference between getting assaulted and offering yourself for payment. One is a crime, the other is (also a crime) but it's also a service you're getting paid for. If you honestly think I'm discrediting sexual assault victims because I said someone made a dumb choice, then you have some self-reflecting to do my friend.
@@deathound entering SW is often done under duress, not every choice is enthusiastically made. Also, teens cannot do SW, as they are incapable of consent. The resulting products from that is CSA material and CSA.
@@IceJJFishArchive True on the CP and CSA. However, as you said yourself, not all of those choices are made under duress. Even still, you can be rational and take things into consideration when under duress. To add to that, to even make the choice of entering the Sex Work industry, you have to do your research on the topic, especially when you go out to make p*rn (thanks RUclips censorship!) because they don’t just let anyone in and you have to basically ‘register’ and sign legal documents and what not. All of this, and yet they still can’t comprehend that “hey, maybe this isn’t a good idea?”
Sure pal. Plenty of time to think on it, plenty of opportunities to investigate the risk/reward, and honestly a 16 year old has the mental capacity to know how to do a google search. If this was 1850? Sure, I could see it. But this happened during the 90s easily, where computers were common and the internet had tons of information a click away. Plus many forums one could go to and ask about it.
Tbh it’s all super sketchy when you think about it, I can’t see him getting into sex work at such a young age. The best I can think of is that the p*rn he was in and stuff was probably just some home videos of himself or some pictures, because majority of places would reject him.
People on here raging at OP and saying it’s her fault for what he might do because all is exposed is lame and trashy. They are doing exactly what they are accusing her of doing. Bullying and virtue signaling her to death. People can have their own opinions, no matter how shitty it may be. Recovery teaches you to take ownership of your sobriety. You are the master of your life and addiction. You are always going to run into AHs in life, facts! Also, op can say whatever, people will form their own opinions at the end. This is why Reddit can be such a toxic place.
NTA, she only looks after her sister.
But she could have done it in a better way and talk to the sister first.
If he felt the need to tell his fiances family, he should have done so with his fiance in a controlled envierment.
Not just spill it on a family party.
I think OP was wrong, but reddits reaction was waaaayyy too aggressive and antagonistic.
OP is in the wrong for 1st story, but if he relapses because of that, then that would just be proving that OP was right all along
Not at all would that be proving them right, she ruined her relationship with her sister and her ex fiancée, ruined his self esteem, has only proven his trust issues to be entirely correct, easily could have permanently ruined the relationship with her sister and her ex fiancée, if that fiancée relapses it is entire her fault and proves nothing but she is a terrible person who does not deserve any form of support in this fight
@@noahdaanimalguy7673 not everyone turns to alcohol/drugs just bc of some hardship. It still makes OP a POS, but that is still something in his control, so it is his fault for relapsing.
If he relapses because of OP's inability of being half a decent person, it proves he and the sister were right to distance themselves from any potential risk of FBIL's relapse.
This is stupid. The op in story one did the right thing she's looking out for her family. If I found out my bro girl had a mess up pass, I'll let my bro know i dont care if she told me in as a secret my loyalty is to my family
Found the busybody
@@mashonem what do that mean
If the sister knew and accepted it why did anyone else need to know? She did that just so she could get validation for how she felt and it backfired on her dumbass.
But the sister that was going to marry him already knew and she didn't care. I can understand that first part, but the rest is Just being a butthurt scumbag if that provokes the engagement to be broken.... Like what was the point after the sister told her it was all okey? 😢
@@KamadreJohnson
Easley, when 2 people get married, they're also becoming part of their partner family, and if one of the partners have a pass, they need to let the family they marry into know
i really like mr or ms secretvoices mini comments after the ongoing stories, they’re very nice!!
Glad you like them! 😊
@@SecretVoices25omg same I also like your comments. I like hearing your input on the situations because it shows you’re really putting time and thought into your videos.
Thankyou @yourlocalpochacco
2nd story: always demand paternity tests, if someone takes someone's side without proof, they are not your friend and should be treated as a potential threat.
Also if a partner cheats and there is a kid, push for full custody if the paternity is established. Try to get a parenting time evaluation done, as these will establish who should be the custodial parent and how parenting time should be distributed.
Day 112 of commenting to help secretvoices
Day 112 of commenting thankyou for your support ❤️❤️❤️