Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one: ▶ Increasing Emotional Intimacy: Replacing Protest Behavior With Honesty ruclips.net/video/nT9ssXuv3nY/видео.html ▶ 5 Steps To Processing Emotional Injury In Relationships ruclips.net/video/gk9oLVaVFTc/видео.html ▶ How To Settle Disagreement Gently Instead Of Shouting Matches Or Angry Sulking I Conflict Resolution ruclips.net/video/PLM4uXOzXGU/видео.html ▶ Psychologist Explains How To Stop Getting Hurt / Offended Easily ruclips.net/video/ieixi8KUZ9A/видео.html ▶ How To Be Less Affected By What Other People Think Of You ruclips.net/video/F8crcLhibc8/видео.html ▶ Extending Trust: How To Tell You Can Trust Someone ruclips.net/video/utMllZCdEg0/видео.html
This was a very good breakdown. Grudges begin as a defense mechanism then transforms into a weapon that repeatedly backfires into you the more you use it. I think many people (myself included) have been led to believe that forgiveness involves repetitiously letting another person disrespect them and their boundaries thus encouraging more disrespect. We’ve been taught to “just forgive” people without truly knowing what that means as we think that involves letting the other person off the hook rather than really seeing it as a way of freeing ourselves from a vicious cycle.
To the point that you actually NEED your anger. Your hatred. The bile in your heart. It's you're whole life and motivation. The person who stabbed you in the back HAS to be punished. You will not be content until you see her suffering in unimaginable agony, and when she pleas for your help, you will turn your back on her, just the way she did to YOU. And you will walk away, reveling in her cries for mercy and forgiveness. For there is none. That's the rot in what's left in MY heart. And its' fantasy is my most satisfying thought. THIS is what evil, unrepentant betrayal twists you into.
Have carried the weight for years of hurts and disappointments that have run very deep--thank you for helping me understand how to release and lighten....
Exactly what I was looking for Maike, I have been running though my separation for two years, accepted it a while back. But I hold on with the feeling that my partner did not want to work on us ever since the start and I find this hard to forgive. It is the one thing that I keep getting dragged down with. So finding this video was great for me today, as only recently have I acknowledged that this is my biggest problem. Isn’t it funny how slowly and eventually we work things out for ourselves, and then we find the support that we need to help us get through the phase we are in. I really feel that I am getting close to recovery, I thank you for your help in this process.
Great input and topic! Very important if you ever find yourself in a situation like this. Self reflection is a opportunity for self growth and a way to find peace and balance within 👍🌠
Hello, this is nice but my experience is that when I let go this person will act like they did nothing wrong and make me fee like I was an idiot for even feeling hurt in the first place. At least when I’m angry they’ll back off
In that case perhaps it’s helpful to distinguish between letting go of chronic resentment inside (which is helpful) and not setting boundaries or communicating or allowing yourself to feel your inner no and doing things to express it (all of which wouldn’t be helpful). It is possible to hold a boundary without having to hold on to chronic resentment/inner pain. 🌷
Y & its a horrific thing to do because it makes the recipient doubt themselves & therefore make them psychologically ill. I know first-hand because its been done to me Countless times :(
Such a clear explanation and so kindly shared. Thanks so much maika 🙏🙏🙏 im working on this letting go. I realised why I ruminated and how it isn't helping.
What is your opinion about how we can deal with difficult personality who makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable in the long run? I am so happy to find you, your podcasts are amazing! Greetings from Romania !
Welcome to the channel, I'm glad you found it :) Concerning people who make you feel insecure and uncomfortable in the long run - it is definitely something to turn towards and actively take charge of the situation/relationship. I don't think it's helpful to just let it be and let them have that effect on you. What exactly you end up doing, depends on the person, relationship and circumstances. The most drastic step would be to stop interacting with the person, to end the relationship. That has many consequences, and is often painful, so it needs to be well thought-through. But sometimes it's the only option to protect yourself. Sometimes ending contact with that person is not an option (for many different reasons) - you could still do something about it, like changing how and how often you interact with this person. I think Lindsay Gibson's "maturity awareness approach" is very helpful in these instances, you can watch my explanation of it here: ▶ ruclips.net/video/CSLi8eNOLBY/видео.html These two videos are also on this topic: ▶ Becoming Immune To Emotional Takeovers & Reclaiming Your Mental And Emotional Autonomy ruclips.net/video/fxz_NuVDSkE/видео.html ▶ 6 Strategies For Resisting Emotional Takeovers From Emotionally Immature People In Interactions ruclips.net/video/V0G7lGocguI/видео.html I hope this helps! All the best to you!
@@DrMaikaSteinborn Thank you for such a great answer! 😇🙏 and for your recommendations. Truly, it is very painful to cut people of from my life, especially when I have anxious attachment style, but otherwise my self esteem will go lower. I was very depressed but, thanks to some of your videos, I started to cure myself. Blessings from Romania! You are very good and profound! 🌹🌹🌹
Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one:
▶ Increasing Emotional Intimacy: Replacing Protest Behavior With Honesty
ruclips.net/video/nT9ssXuv3nY/видео.html
▶ 5 Steps To Processing Emotional Injury In Relationships
ruclips.net/video/gk9oLVaVFTc/видео.html
▶ How To Settle Disagreement Gently Instead Of Shouting Matches Or Angry Sulking I Conflict Resolution
ruclips.net/video/PLM4uXOzXGU/видео.html
▶ Psychologist Explains How To Stop Getting Hurt / Offended Easily
ruclips.net/video/ieixi8KUZ9A/видео.html
▶ How To Be Less Affected By What Other People Think Of You
ruclips.net/video/F8crcLhibc8/видео.html
▶ Extending Trust: How To Tell You Can Trust Someone
ruclips.net/video/utMllZCdEg0/видео.html
Best advice I've ever heard!! And I'm 65 years old. What I'm trying to say is this timeless wisdom.
That‘s awesome 🙂 Thank you! And welcome here 🫶🏻
😢 so true but it's not easy
💯💖🌺
This was a very good breakdown. Grudges begin as a defense mechanism then transforms into a weapon that repeatedly backfires into you the more you use it. I think many people (myself included) have been led to believe that forgiveness involves repetitiously letting another person disrespect them and their boundaries thus encouraging more disrespect. We’ve been taught to “just forgive” people without truly knowing what that means as we think that involves letting the other person off the hook rather than really seeing it as a way of freeing ourselves from a vicious cycle.
Thank you for the specifics on how to process the pain of the grudges. it was exactly what i was looking for..
I'm glad this was helpful! 🌺
the same here
Thank you. I just do not know how to let go. Is like the grudge is all that I have left.
Sounds like something emotionally intense created the grudge... I wish you all the best with this 💖
Same. To the point that I NEED my hatred and my anger.
Because we can't have revenge....no outlet for payback....so it rots inside of us
Revenge often makes people more entangled in the anger and pain of it all. It's a different story for justice.
To the point that you actually NEED your anger. Your hatred. The bile in your heart. It's you're whole life and motivation. The person who stabbed you in the back HAS to be punished. You will not be content until you see her suffering in unimaginable agony, and when she pleas for your help, you will turn your back on her, just the way she did to YOU. And you will walk away, reveling in her cries for mercy and forgiveness. For there is none. That's the rot in what's left in MY heart. And its' fantasy is my most satisfying thought.
THIS is what evil, unrepentant betrayal twists you into.
Have carried the weight for years of hurts and disappointments that have run very deep--thank you for helping me understand how to release and lighten....
Some pain is really heavy… I’m glad this helped with letting go. All the best 💕
Exactly what I was looking for Maike, I have been running though my separation for two years, accepted it a while back. But I hold on with the feeling that my partner did not want to work on us ever since the start and I find this hard to forgive. It is the one thing that I keep getting dragged down with. So finding this video was great for me today, as only recently have I acknowledged that this is my biggest problem. Isn’t it funny how slowly and eventually we work things out for ourselves, and then we find the support that we need to help us get through the phase we are in. I really feel that I am getting close to recovery, I thank you for your help in this process.
I think I have found a way to do just what this video talks about. It took a long time, but this really helped. Thanks
Great input and topic! Very important if you ever find yourself in a situation like this. Self reflection is a opportunity for self growth and a way to find peace and balance within 👍🌠
Glad you liked it! 🙂🌼
Everything you said makes absolutely 100% sense...feels like my actions are finally put into words
I‘m glad this resonated with you ✨
Articulate snd Powerful!
Thank you!
Hello, this is nice but my experience is that when I let go this person will act like they did nothing wrong and make me fee like I was an idiot for even feeling hurt in the first place. At least when I’m angry they’ll back off
In that case perhaps it’s helpful to distinguish between letting go of chronic resentment inside (which is helpful) and not setting boundaries or communicating or allowing yourself to feel your inner no and doing things to express it (all of which wouldn’t be helpful). It is possible to hold a boundary without having to hold on to chronic resentment/inner pain. 🌷
It's called, "gaslighting".
Y & its a horrific thing to do because it makes the recipient doubt themselves & therefore make them psychologically ill. I know first-hand because its been done to me Countless times :(
Very useful video❤
So good. Thank you
thank you
This hits me hard and soft cause i cannot revenge.
thankyou ❤️ 🙏 🌹
🙂🙏🏻
Great video, thank you, it was quite helpful, now comes the hard part : practice
Such a clear explanation and so kindly shared. Thanks so much maika 🙏🙏🙏 im working on this letting go. I realised why I ruminated and how it isn't helping.
I'm glad this was helpful. All the best for your inner work! 💖
What is your opinion about how we can deal with difficult personality who makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable in the long run?
I am so happy to find you, your podcasts are amazing!
Greetings from Romania !
Welcome to the channel, I'm glad you found it :)
Concerning people who make you feel insecure and uncomfortable in the long run - it is definitely something to turn towards and actively take charge of the situation/relationship. I don't think it's helpful to just let it be and let them have that effect on you. What exactly you end up doing, depends on the person, relationship and circumstances. The most drastic step would be to stop interacting with the person, to end the relationship. That has many consequences, and is often painful, so it needs to be well thought-through. But sometimes it's the only option to protect yourself.
Sometimes ending contact with that person is not an option (for many different reasons) - you could still do something about it, like changing how and how often you interact with this person. I think Lindsay Gibson's "maturity awareness approach" is very helpful in these instances, you can watch my explanation of it here: ▶ ruclips.net/video/CSLi8eNOLBY/видео.html
These two videos are also on this topic:
▶ Becoming Immune To Emotional Takeovers & Reclaiming Your Mental And Emotional Autonomy ruclips.net/video/fxz_NuVDSkE/видео.html
▶ 6 Strategies For Resisting Emotional Takeovers From Emotionally Immature People In Interactions ruclips.net/video/V0G7lGocguI/видео.html
I hope this helps! All the best to you!
@@DrMaikaSteinborn Thank you for such a great answer! 😇🙏 and for your recommendations.
Truly, it is very painful to cut people of from my life, especially when I have anxious attachment style, but otherwise my self esteem will go lower. I was very depressed but, thanks to some of your videos, I started to cure myself.
Blessings from Romania!
You are very good and profound! 🌹🌹🌹
❤