How to win as an INFJ
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- #infj #intp #16types
INFJs are masters of human understanding. But these potential puppet masters usually use their forces for good.
Love Who Patreon:
/ lovewho
- Request a video
- Get typed (by me and Lu!)
- Just donate to support the channel
Join Our Discord - / discord
Email address - contactlovewho@gmail.com
![Eminem - Fuel (Shady Edition) feat. Westside Boogie & GRIP [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/k1OquBida9s/mqdefault.jpg)
The best way for someone to learn something is that they figure it out themselves. We INFJ are the masters of planting seeds.
Well said, yes!
Helping others Help themselves
It works the best when they think the idea was their own...
I like my role as "the eyes of society". When I see injustice, someone getting into a dangerous situation or people/children who are being ignored..... I step in. If I can't help in such a situation I Get people who Can. I don't have much but I can give them my Time and my undivided Attention. You can't buy that. Sincerely INFJ.
Bro sometimes I can not figure out the answer to the problem but when I see someone else with the same problem, the answer just appears.
Why is the INFJ so fond of music, poetry, writing, or art? Does every INFJ feel like music or poetry is part of their soul?
because cold numbers and codes would not appropriately express the abstract ideas and meanings that goes on in our heads; that's how I see it, at least, and I think this would be true to most NFs
I don't think music or poetry as "part of my soul" though, just that it's a good vessel
because we can do those alone and yes, express ourselves as stacyowl said
as much as we're good at it, i think most INFJs will agree that Fe is annoying. And will respect Fi a lot more
edit: Fe doms are insane
I think they speak the NF language.
no
I believe it has to do with our heightened perception of beauty perfection, and harmonic systems both musically and ideologically.
As an INFJ I feel that I really struggle with choosing a career. I have so many interests ranging from music, teaching piano, writing, art, naturopathy, being a health coach, and even being a gardener. This is one of my biggest burdens, the inability to decide where to place my energy.
Exactly the same here, it's my biggest enemy, like if we could only focus all our energy into 1 specific thing that interests us we could become so damn good at it.
But just like you, I want to do too many things at the same time... and I have trouble seeing much progress in almost any of them atm.
Jumping from one thing to another always. Like theres not enough time in a day.
If you'll allow me to share some encouragement as a 44 yr INFJ, I can tell you it may seem at times you're lost the woods, even forever, trying to choose the one right footpath out of many while looking for your clearing through the trees. But in time you'll see all these paths converge into one like a delta. In time you'll see it, feel it, everything in life having been distilled and Illuminated for you. You'll know.
So keep exploring those woods, learning, loving life, giving yourself some grace when you need it, and trusting your intuition. All will be well.
I decided to go with Medicine, because i couldn’t really choose from all these possibilities. My parents wanted me to go with medicine. And in the end i gave in. Medicine itself is a very interesting subject, and the idea of saving people, if i succeed at becoming a doctor, delights me.
But i sometimes wonder, if that’s the path, that’s truly meant for me.
@@rastitrading yaa I agree
Wow completely forgot about this thread and now I see all the replies 8 months later. So nice to see other INFJs relating... and thank you so much @Sequoia for the wisdom. That is a beautiful thought and I will hold unto it.
Well, this is what I found when I googled and Plato is not quoted...
"Those who want power do not deserve it.
And those who deserve power do not want it."
Hmmm.
Yes
Bow Hunter,
Respectfully, I disagree.
In-order to be a great leader, one must actually want to be a great leader. And with leadership, comes power.
I would say the honorable acquisition and use of power is a good thing. A true leader leads by example, gives directions, but doesn't seek to control others.
~Bas
sovereign.bas@gmail.com
Isn’t this from the Harry Potter books? 😶
Ah yes, fate's irony
@@bassovereign200 Some people do not want to be a great leader - but find themselves in the position anyway.
I feel like we (INFJs) don’t like to be called potential manipulators, because, in the back of our minds, we already know that. We know what we are capable of and what we can do to other people, good or bad, and how something that was well intentioned can quickly turn into controlling others in a negative way. And that scares us. I do understand where you’re coming from and that you mean manipulating people to see how they can become a better person. But as I said, I think we know how slippery of a slope that can get. Which is why we don’t even like to mention it.
Exaaaactly. Like, we KNOW. We have literally been fighting this moral battle since we were kids. We know that with great power comes great responsibility, and a lot of us have tethered on the edge, stared into the void, and pulled ourselves back several times. We are working hard behind the scenes to keep it together, because we do see the power we have, and we want to be a force for good.
Exactly. This is why I think and contemplate for a long time before I decide on a method to help someone and give them advice cause they can find my solution more hurtful than helpful sometimes cause they aren’t ready to change.
Everytime I somehow lure other people but not intentionally (ughh, the word is choking me), I immediately says "Oh no, I was just joking. That's how corny I am." I DON'T WANT THEM TO DO WHAT I JUST TOLD THEM TO DO OMAYGOSHH. HAHAHA
Life turned us into beast and we know we can control it but we also know what we are capable of. This is like a Marvel characters, you know the Hulk can destroy and kill everything in its path and if done ling enough, he can shut down the world, but he doesn’t, he controls it, he uses his powers to help others. Same for other super hero characters. A little less control and we either become villains or we sabotage ourselves until we figure out how to fix ourselves.
I hate being an emotional sponge and I want people to solve their own problems. Nobody takes me or my advice seriously, as far as I can tell anyway.
Then you need to find a new circle, guy. Get the losers out of your life and find people who WILL listen to you and be loyal to you.
Unfortunately, most of the time people just want someone else to tell them what to do because either they're unable to figure it out, or they don't want to have to confront their problems. It really does show the laziness and ineptitude of people... also tends to become quite one sided, doesn't it? You help all these people with their problems, but they don't really come and help you with yours. Not that you need it, but it sure would be nice to see equal commitment towards a relationship.
@@borisvandruff7532 haha someone has been watching C.S. Joseph lol.
The emotional absorbing aspect is definitely a garbage trait that i would give up easily...alas...try being an infj in the healing modalities for a career. Ugh
Ladyblue Bell Guilty as charged. I love his content. What can I say?
I'm an INFJ. I spent the first half of my career doing hard-core work with homeless people and people with mental illness and drug addiction etc. I burned myself out. I now work for state government on the phones to help people get access to services they need. I still help a lot but I've given up on trying to be "Jesus". I have to think that I've "done my time". But really I can't do something with myself that isn't some kind of public service. It's an addiction lol
Letters to Sumin as an INFJ I have never wanted to be Jesus, or to “save” anyone, it’s so different than that for me; but I did feel that I understood how to solve certain problems very easily and quickly, and it was easier to help people who were around me, rather than to watch them struggle to figure it out. I have found that some of these people will tend to gravitate toward me, hoping I will keep doling out solutions and insight, it I only do it when want to. Never because I feel I need to. So I wear sunglasses and headphones quite often.
Definitely true. I like to use what I call the "mosquito bite" method. Basically, they don't even notice the guidance but it will enter them somehow. I don't like to tell people what to do. I like to present the options and say the pros and cons of each. Make them see the whole picture, how it will affect them and others and what domino effect it will create. Usually, if I've stepped into their life, I see their family and friend dynamics. I instantly get the vibe and health of these relationships and think about how they handle the truth and what things might be sensitive for them. I consider all these factors depending on the situation on how it will come together.
YES!!! Damn man, again and again on point.
YES, EXACTLY HOW I OPERATE.....
I will often say " now I am not saying you should do this or not, but from my experience xyz"
J Mz exactly how I operate spot on 💫
🌹
As an INFJ i'll say these two things:
1. Manipulation is often viewed as a negative word.
2. We are all capable of great evil, regardless of the type. Understand your power, and discipline yourself to do no harm.
When I was a kid, I really could see the potential in my every classmates but I couldn't bring myself to say that to anyone. After a while, I told my mom how fascinating my friends are because they're capable of doing something that they aren't aware of but never anyone seems to be interested with that so I just thought maybe I'm dumb or just getting ahead of myself. And now after I've known that I'm not alone after all this time, slowly I'm gaining my courage to speak up more.
Definitely relate. All my life, I can see people around me and know ow what they would excel at. What they could change the world with. Not so easy with myself tho, funnily enough!
Bro if I were your classmate, I'd love for you to tell me what I'm capable of
Same pinch .. but I do share my thoughts with my beloved friends and they highly highly appreciate my insight and I feel so blessed to have them 🌸💕
Or you do speak up, people agree with you, and then go right back to being self-destructive.
INFJ here. I've always known that I could be a master manipulator if I wanted to go that route.
'It's my belief that any type, can do anything - so, no excuses' - YES. It's an absolute relief to see an increasing amount of people spread this sentiment, and the more we use type as a means to EMPOWER others the better!
Your understanding of the INFJ type (rather than the pseudo-INFJ going around these days) is solid and see myself in this perfectly - good job man, you nailed it, and the points in the last portion of the video as to what constitutes 'great achievement' need to be echoed more often.
Also, let me know if you're ever in North East England!
This was profoundly accurate. I've always gained people's trust within minutes. I frequently find myself giving deep insightful advice to someone who 15 minutes previous I'd never known.. And your right they never question the advice given..
Sammmeeeeeeee…:: 👼🏻
I feel like I'm a broken INFJ in the sense that I've aaaaalways loved listening to people and giving them advice the second I get the chance to advise them .. however I never feel like people genuinely appreciate the advice I give or take them to heart 😔
Your INFJ powers are not broken. People will implement your advice when in dire need to act, and in calmer situations when they are ready. It's all about planting seeds. Some of them will bloom and some of them will not. People, including INFJs are not always in the right mindset or in an emotional state where they can take it in and transform it into action. You can transform people to become better versions of themselves and change the course of their lifepaths. You have the power to stear people away from events that would ruin them completly or left them in far worse situation had you not interfered.
I found that when I profissionalized the thing (I did a degree in art-therapy), it becames better. People who seeks professional advise will value more the advise than your friends. And to advise close friends often is disordered by the feelings involved.
He's correct about the subtle manipulation, I've done it before. now I use my powers to help.
One has to embrace and accept the dark side. Unlike what they say in Star Wars.
I don't know how but I got a free iPad mini lol don't ask me how I got it
You are spot on with INFJ. It is a daily inner struggle to understand this world. I believe personality types are true, because it is the only thing that relates to me.
Haha, great insight. My close INFJ friend ends up playing the role of counselor all the time without even trying (for me included). He also mentioned that a lot of times it's really annoying to do this and he wished it didn't happen so often. I told him something similar to what you said here, that he's basically a natural at it, and people pick up on that, so they flock to him for advice. He wants to become a math teacher when he gets older and I think he's going to do an excellent job helping his students reach their goals with these skills.
Your friend sounds great! Tell him that
I love that you say NO EXCUSES. I built a successful career as a dancer for about 12 years, and wasn't comfortable in that role. But it was very important to me to achieve that and be in that creative setting, and a great way to grow in my understanding of and communication with people. Now I'm a massage therapist, and it is BLISS. I can be in the presence of people, validate them, help them with physical pain and discomfort, be a sympathetic ear but NOT be responsible for counseling them...in a serene environment with just enough verbal stimulation. Important focus, meaningful conversation, authentic, calming for their nervous system (and mine). Thanks for encouraging people to go for it. it's so important, there's no substitute for setting those goals, and seeing it through. We always learn something, and grow, and eventually, hopefully, find our perfect career match. Love to my fellow INFJ's!
Sooooooo happy for youuuuuuu ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Hello INFJs. I literally couldn't get anyone to take my advice if I paid them to. So, if any of you don't want to find yourself in the counsellor role, I'm sure I can help you with that lol - INTP
INFJ here. My bf is an INTP and a lot of the time I too don't want to take his advice mainly because I don't feel listened to or understood. For example I would be talking about my anxiety and he would cut me off at some point saying "that's why you should meditate" followed by a long lecture about meditation, which I've heard a couple of times already. Like... can't he just listen to me and let me decide what I want to do and not give me some universal solution but instead look at my problem from from my point of view and ask me how I plan to solve it. At least let me finish speaking. :D Now I find it even harder to want to practice meditation because I've heard about it so much without asking.
My conclusion is try to think not so much about the solution which worked with everyone else so by default it should work with this person, but think about what the person actually wants and is ready to do. Ask him more questions before stating to him some universal facts. Make him feel heard like this solution is especially for his situation, like his situation is as important as he thinks it is. All of this comes mainly from Fe, looking at the person's emotions about his problem, what he's ready to do and what he won't like. For INTPs Fe is their inferior function so naturally they don't use it often but they could learn how to use it when they need it. I think that developing Fe could help you with people taking your advices.
I don't know it that was helpful ot not, that's my unprofessional take on it. :D And I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes.
@@МирелаДимитрова-ы6п I think that's a very wise advise, listening more to people before bringing them a solution...
I will keep that in mind, thanks!
-INTP
Beautiful conversation :)
- infj
Hello, INFJ here haha. My brother is an INTP and I also tend to not want to listen to his advice. I think usually it's because his delivery is usually so callous and a bit condescending. It's usually "No, you're wrong. Do it my way," rather than a gentle nudge, like, "Maybe try doing it this way and see if it's better." It just feels like he never considers the other person, and gives advice because...he thinks his is the best? Even if it is true that his is the best way, the way he goes about sharing it is what usually puts me off. Not to mention, he usually doesn't try to keep the peace and always seems to have issues with everything if they don't go his way. It could just be my brother, but that's what I've noticed. Maybe try being more considerate of others and their feelings/situations, as well as be more gentle and understanding in your approach? That's only if it applies to you, though! Idk if this made sense lol
I’ve helped three friends switch to jobs they’d like better. This is all true. Thank you for these.
Thank you, glad you agree. ~ Nathan
As an infj, this is the truest word I’ve ever heard. Thanks you stranger.
Anytime! ~ Nathan
Great talk. I am an INFJ. I like when people open up to me, although it can be exhausting and irritating when they aren't trying to help themselves. I think it's the honesty that is so appealing. I crave meaning and authenticity. I'm not interested in frivolity except when it's entertaining and even that has it's limits.
We’re like a catch, heal, release program
We trap people by offering advise and help then helping them and getting them to where we believe they should be then realising them hoping we don’t have to deal with them ever again
I'm terrified by how accurate this is
There is beauty AND power in background roles, and often lets you escape the scrutiny, overly high expectations and lack of privacy that “glamorous” roles often entail.
An extremely accurate analysis as usual. The king's advisor is often more powerful than the king. I'd rather be Gandalf than Aragorn. It's weird to me that some INFJs don't want to act as a counselor to others. I wanted to be a professional counselor. I could listen to people tell their story all day.
Your fuzzy sweatshirt is still highly concerning to me.
What!? the fuzzy sweater looks nice x3
Big D same here bro. I love it when people come to me and talk about their problems. It makes me feel.. powerful? I guess
@@quangminhnguyen7834 I just find it to be an entertaining thing to do. Keeps me from being bored.
Lol!! King's advisor is precisely what I want to be .
I know what you mean when you say about manipulation. As an INFJ, I have a natural tendency to look beneath the surface and try to understand a person holistically and discern what makes them who they are. To have that sense of power is overwhelming because you know how you can hurt people right where it hurts. But most INFJ because of their Fe, doesn’t like to hurt people. They hurt themselves more when they hurt others.
Honestly. I agree that people might open up to us often - but you know what I have learned? People will still end up doing whatever they want!! How many times have I tried to guide or advice on something just to discover that people don’t follow the advice anyway. So why waste my time😂 I have learned not to care as much as I used to. And that is not a bad thing.
This is actually very insightful advice, trying too much to change or influence people when as you say, then generally end up doing whatever they want is very energy draining indeed! ~ Nathan
Jon Snow also started with a small unpromising role, but surfaced to the top role eventually. Determined INFJs can change the world.
I really like the way you speak and explain your point, it's very soothing in a way, and I definitely needed that advice at the end (although I'm very aware of it and do go by it but it was pleasant nonetheless) keep making such good videos, I'd love to hear more.
I believe Plato said, the only one worthy of power is the one who does not want power. I also think I paraphrased and probably should have googled it...
Like in Game of Thrones
Yes, we make #1 sales person in the company!!!
Same room, same chair, same outfit... maybe channeling your Nana? Amazing video as always! I’m an INFJ studying to become a psychotherapist and I have to say... I love studying the mind, communication, and the unique personality aspects of a person... but I’d prefer to do it better from afar. There is just something about it that I don’t particularly jive with and I think it has something to do with people who aren’t willing to help themselves or change but they sure like to talk about how unhappy they are.
I'm not really interested knowing about all the types but I really like how Nathan explains and interpret them so I watch all the videos.
I love sitting with a cup of tea, or a cuppa as we say, and listen to you dive deep into personality-types. You go up and beyond in the last part of the video, and listen to the pure logic is great for an INFJ as me. Thank you!
I love what you say about roles and I couldn't agree more. So many people subscribe to this cult of the dream, where we think we have to have this idealistic, lofty, fanciful goal that usually doesn't pan out and most of the time ends up making us feel bad about ourselves lol. Sure, there are people like you say: musicians, athletes, etc, who just knew perhaps that's what they were meant to be. But worshiping and following those celebrity leads that everyone seems to be obsessed with just doesn't really make sense. Developing a vision for your life, where you understand the general idea you're trying to implement (creating content that moves people, conservation, justice, whatever it is) is a much better way to go and leads to greater happiness than following a dream incessantly and constantly measuring yourself against it, lest it becomes part of your identity. It's a lesson I had to learn the hard way.
I feel read like a book! Without even trying, I seem to have people (even strangers I've just met) open themselves up to me. Lovely insight towards the end of the video too :p
Very wise advice yet INFJs are stubborn. Yet with good reason. You would never believe it at first glance but many INFJs are great performers and I think it is liberating to our nature. Dua Lipa, Marina, Jessie Ware, The Weeknd, Sam Smith, and Michael Jackson are all INFJs. It's no mistake that there are many INFJs found in music. There is something about writing a song yes, but performing is also a thrill for us and love the stage once we are on it.
Infj, teacher, healer. You hit the nail on the head. My instinct is to direct others on their "best" path. It is second nature, so being mindful is the key to not being overbearing. :)
I agree with the manipulative bit 100%. As an INFJ, I am quite aware of how I can potentially to manipulate a given situation to my advantage or elicit a specific reaction from someone. Most of the time, I don't actually use this ability, or rather, I 'switch off' this insight that I have, because there is no need for it. But there are those occasions when I feel like I need to, in order to get something important done. I personally feel that planning is one of the greatest weapons of an INFJ, and if we give ourselves the time to craft a strategy for how to deal with a situation, it would most likely turn out in our favour. That being said, most people (including INFJs) don't have the time to plan out every single action beforehand on a day-to-day basis, which I suppose is why the planning is reserved for things that we consider important to us.
I totally agree with you on this, as an INFJ, being aware of how manipulation can be used for good is a great realization. Plus being able to plan the important things, but I also don't tend to plan the smaller things either. There's times I even forget to eat, so I can't really be bothered with the little details 😂 Do you ever find that happen to you?
As an Infj I agree with you both
@@LillithElaina Yes! Haha I don't pay enough attention to the day-to-day stuff either. It's too mundane and unimportant to me, so there's a higher chance of me forgetting something or screwing up what I'm supposed to do when it comes to that stuff. Sometimes, I'll forget to eat lunch and only realise it when I see that the sun's about to set 😂
@@bubblegumbetchhh OMG yes I know! I'm lucky now to where my boyfriend knows this about me so throughout the day when he can he'll bring me water or make me food and set it in front of me so I have to eat instead of just working all the time. Glad I'm not alone in this xD
@@LillithElaina Aww, that's so sweet! I live on my own so I'm basically hopeless lol. I just gave up on eating schedules altogether and just eat whenever I feel hungry now
i discovered my love for accounting before discovering I'm probably an INFJ.
Which is a good thing (since accounting is not recommended for INFJs).
The Ni & Ti functions are capable of analysing data and drawing conclusions useful for forming strategies, and the Fe is good with getting timely information from the right people,
Se enjoys the birds chirping away when Ni and Ti are overwhelmed.
I don't really think telling people the pros and cons about doing anything and presenting them a new point of view is manipulation. I've met really manipulative people and I can say they use cruel methods like emotional blackmail to get what *only they want*
I'm like a psychologist, I know what to say to get people to calm down and give advices for them to follow, but they have a *CHOICE* of following and that's what differs from manipulation. When you're being manipulated you don't feel like having a choice at all and the only choice you have is benefiting the other person at the expense of yourself.
Your by far my most favourite RUclipsr on infj stuff thanks ..
Thank you! That's great to hear.
Is this why people naturally come to me for advice?😂 But yeahh...I do tend to stare into their eyes and into the souls occasionally when we talk...sometimes it gets awkward...especially if we are close and of different genders
What you said using the skills one has right now, not if we knew "this" we could be "that", and seeing plausible career/ life choices. Honing a skill is different than learning a new one. I feel a lot of INFJ's feel under educated in the situations and conversations because we know their is someone smarter/ more knowledgeable out there and we undervalue the self-education we sought out. Seconding guessing ourselves into a f***ing hole.
An INFJ can spot another INFJ pretty quickly either they annoy them from the first second or your intrigued. From my own personal experience : No one hates a know-it-all more than someone who does know it all. Male INFJ's are more seen as smity dillholes and females it's something else idk most females who meet me are very stand offish I'm confused about it I think I have met some others maybe. I've only met 3 male INFJ's 2 I can't stand and I married/restrainingorder/divorced 1 of the 2 I can't stand.
The more i acknowledge my full potential and capabilities as an infj, i found out i am an true infj. I mastered the art of manipulation. Often times i used manipulation for good deeds. I had come to the point whereas i can manipulate people without saying a single word which through gaze, body language and energy presence. Infj know how the mind works. Now i am able to resetting my mind and manipulate my own mind with more positive things rather than negative thoughts. Its important tht infj be able to master this skills as we feel deeply and absorb people emotions otherwise we might fall into mental health problems. What we think is what we become. Hence, infj that are gifted with this skills can enjoy their life by planting ideas and vision to their mind of whatever they wanted to achieve. I learnt that the problem of being infj is we often let our empathy bring us down. We always want people to strive in their life as we can foresee their future and past, but we always put ourself behind.
The caddy comment is so real. I don't need to be the figure head, i do want a hand in the behind the scenes of it all, slowly guiding
You've done an excellent job. Often times, people don't look me directly in the eyes when we're holding a conversation. I can see how my intense staring can come across as a bit awkward.
Idk why it took me so long to check out your videos.Great explanation. Short and Simple.
Brilliant video. Loved the bit at the end about working according to your strengths. Knowledge of self will save you a lot of pain as well as time... Unfortunately the world we live in often doesn't allow us to function authentically so we find ourselves boxed in to roles that do not suit us. Continual self exploration outside the domains of the structures that surround us will always lead us to a path that is more satisfying and ultimately rewarding.
@@NathanJGlass thank you for the great insight!
I know an INFJ who either wants to be a physical therapist or a disney princess, and I have never since forgotten since she told me over two years ago
~INTP
The potential for manipulation is definitely a concern and something that has to be worked at actively.
I’ve been called puppet master, manipulator, instigator etc. I always knew my purpose was to guide people on their path and disappear into the background. I’m a newbie to MBTI, i’ve taken 5 typecast test and they all come out the same. INFJ-A
I love helping people find their own solutions to their problems.
This is the first video of yours I've seen and oh my god, you are so, so right and precise. You have a new fan!
I usually press like just after your introduction, it's clear that the video cannot be bad afterwards!😄
I get stopped in public places (before the pandemic--but still a rarity for me to be in public) by random strangers who tell me very intimate details about their life without me saying a word to them. I have found out some very dark secrets about people I will never see again. One man told me he was being accused of murdering his toddler by his ex-wife. Another woman told me her daughter died, and she was thinking of committing suicide. A man and woman told me about their son who was feeling no sense of purpose, and was still living in their home, depressed. Another lady, a single mother, told me about working three jobs just to keep food on the table, and how her children's father kept coming into the picture and was abusing her, just to leave again. The list goes on. While they tell me these things, I intently listen, and then, as if they wake up from a trance they always say, "I don't know why I just told you that". I typically carry the number to suicide prevention or the abuse hotline with me to give to anyone who needs it.
It is strange to have this power. I have tried to combat it by keeping my face neutral, avoiding people as much as possible, but then inevitably they find me.
Wow...Carl Young comes to mind...
I judge a brilliant podcast on your part. Thank you.
INFJ in the HOUSE!!! This is so TRUE!!! Thank you for sharing. Very deep. ☺️☺️☺️
Thank you so very much. I know to step into my skills and set those boundaries around my limits, because these skills are natural. They won’t burn me out.
That's awesome that you can do that without burning out (: boundaries are soo helpful! Keep it up 🙂
Amazing video! Sooooo true, thank you for (once more) confirming that my career path matches my INFJ strengths. I had to promise myself to really only desire the best for the other person, and not have any agenda of my own for them.
The second part of the video resonated less, because I love sharing this gift, I really enjoy listening to others (when they're authentic and actually do something with my suggestions ;) ) and I feel like I get to live a 101 lives by having a front-row seat as their life story unfolds.
I did learn to consciously choose whom I share this gift with. If the conversation doesn't inspire me and I don't get paid, I'll probably leave and not return anytime soon (also something I had to promise myself, to gracefully decline certain situations and people - so that I stay in a high frequency myself and my gift really lands with the people I share it with, who in turn exert stronger positive ripples into the world).
I was and still am INFJ, in middle school, I was a jerk one time, I actually used my sort of knack for manipulation and puppeting. I actually started a few fights without either of them knowing I caused it. When I thought about doing it my second time, I just didn’t feel like it because it sort of hurt me too, knowing that I’m the one that got them into a fight
Well the problem is when i help people, guide them to be better the process makes them think that i'm trying to control them or something and in the end they forces me to door slam lol pretty much my life ig
Knowing your place - u can also do both. U can be a songwriter, and then also go perform other songs as a musician. And maybe you're better at one role than the other. But u can also do both. Musicians do that. Sally seltmann wrote 1234 for Feist, and she's also a musician herself.
I know it's just an analogy but it's an interesting point
I love to watch videos on this channel. I am a fan of yours.. with that said, I disagree with one comment. It would be mistyped INTJ who doesn't like to be someone's counselor. We (mature developed) INFJs would love to help a person in distress come to us and need to unload. And please don't overgeneralize us. Immature INFJs, like any type, can be toxic. Please add a disclaimer that immature INFJs can be manipulative but that does not apply to assertive and mature INFJs. I dealt with an immature turbulent young INFJ's manipulation at work. I saw her literally blown away when I showed her gently in my graceful behavior that I had spotted her manipulation, which I let her know in the way only she could see, and I stopped her manipulation over me. I showed her my boundaries. Still I tried to be somewhat helpful to her after that, because she was very young and insecure INFJ but her nature was not toxic in her core. I wouldn't be like that if the person's core value is evil. I have dealt with evil manipulative ESTP, ESFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, ENFJ, INTJ. Out of these I found INTJ the most manipulative, ENFJ close second. ENFJ fake covert narcissist can't fool us Ni-doms but they can fool others completely. INTJ can fool other Ni-doms but I usually discover it in the mid point. I can't help seeing their pattern after a while. I don't show I know it, I quietly play it along and support the execution of the grand-plan if the motive is good and honorable. If I see evil and pure selfishness manipulative passive aggressive or just aggressive after a careful observation, I would drop my support, make it known in the open by leaving the entire area affected by this evil via doorslam, or if I cannot leave, I would not budge not yielding to the manipulation and get ostracized in the group showing my resistance to the manipulation. After I see how the manipulative INTJ rectacts to it, confirming what my eyes are seeing, eventually I would leave. I don't keep myself in the toxin. If I do fight back, that would be for the better world, I might do for that reason.
Excellent! I have certainly found my niche within my career as a psychiatric nurse. Definitely spend a lot of time listening with empathy and then guiding people in the right direction. I save the 'subtle manipulation' for my own sanity and protection against any toxic and narcissistic people that might cross my path. Cheers from Australia!!
I used to be a musician. Was fairly successful, all things being relative. I always had a love/hate relationship about being center stage. I enjoyed the stage, but I felt very conflicted and sort of exposed afterwards. Also it was easier to "project" on stage than it ever was off stage. Also everything is "polished spontaneity" lol. Everything was finely rehearsed to make it look effortless.
Younger me definitely hated being a counselor especially when nobody seemed to be qualified to play that role for me in return. Growing up and being naturally pushed into it I've come to appreciate the compliment of people feeling truly seen and heard and safe to be open. It is a huge ego boost in a good way. But I'm also super aware of how easily I could manipulate people for a personal gain or darker reasons, my conscience doesn't allow that kind of thing because it creates immense guilt but yea definitely possible and very likely when I'm pushed to the point of being angered. Luckily I almost never get that upset to no longer put others best interest and harmony first 😅 we are through and through people pleasers at heart.
Interesting way of describing people being cut out for things and related concessions. I've consciously worked and honed skills that correspond to weaker functions. That and knowing well the primary/auxiliary will always be there (whether I like it or not). The tandem is better I believe.
It's my belief any one can do anything if they want too. So true don't let stereotyping get you down. I'm considered a weird chick diagnosed infj by doctors and two test. After all it's only one man's idea!!! YES WE ARE WHAT WE ARE
Yes! There's also this patience that builds up with experience, which reflects an understanding of how long these seeds will take to sprout, and for whom (since everyone is different).
Thank you Love Who for this video.
I am currently in pharmacy school, and me being an infj has given me a major advantage when it comes to consueling patients.
@@lovewho Yea. It is a gift I guess. I appreciate it because I love helping people.
I enjoy being behind the scenes. There is so much more to see there. My analytical brain maps out every word spoken and every task at hand.
You’re so spot on!! I can 100% relate to all you said.
So we, "Offer up a solution dressed as a suggestion?" Guilty as charged. But don't worry. I've taken an oath to use this power only for Good 😄 Great clip, Nathan - all very insightful and accurate imho. There's one thing more though. Sometimes the carefully considered solution/advice can be implanted in the other person's head in passing, e.g. INFJ finds relevant video, or written passage, reads this out to person being 'counselled' who a few days later claims the inspiration or idea as their own and enthusiastically implements it...
Are you Welsh?? I'm from South Wales and you sound exactly like a Welsh person. Us Welshies are very rare to find so I always get really excited when I hear someone who sounds Welsh. First video I've watched from you and it's so accurate, completely agree with you!
@@NathanJGlass Oh! I'm from Neath Abbey!
Yaaaassss! All of this is so true. First, is it uncomfortable to acknowledge you’d be a good manipulator? A bit. But the key to remember is, just because you could be good at it is not the same as actively being it. Also, being a support role is by no means a bad thing. We love to glorify the lone hero, but in actuality those people get a lot of help. And I, for one, am happy in my role.
I'm at 3:12, but your touching on something interesting. The sociopathic nueratacist within all INFJs, sure, we have our emotions but all ot takes is one bad day, one slight turn and we're thinking about only the most harmful of ways to twist and turn someone's soul. Even the judge wishes for vengeance sometimes.
We aren’t malicious , we have that massive empathy problem, which leads to a massive conscience problem.
the end bit tied it all in for me...felt like I had to sacrifice my passions but its easier to just be stationed and build up myself to then be able to take on other things... because if I want to do everything I would not do anything since am somewhat always procrastinating or thinking too far ahead to do what's needed to be done now lol
Counselor can be glam job, if you take nice pictures and have fancy site. 😁~INFJ, a future mental health therapist ~
And that is where INTP & INFJ separate ways... we (or at least me) wholeheartedly believe in going after things you like and enjoy instead of those that seem illogical... and before INTP come for my head as that doesn't sound logical, it actually is more logical and better. When you like something and it is hard, or it is not meant for your personality, regardless of that if you keep working on it, eventually you will become good at it because your love for it alongside genuine interest will put you in that way. Opposite, even if you are natural at something if you genuinely dislike it, you will built resentment towards it, which in time will result in you finding ways to avoid doing it and simply relying on your 'natural skills' and not work on development and improvement. And in many cases, it is the intrigue, effort and willingness to walk that extra mile that is the reason why people succeed. So sometimes, you need to swim against the tide to get to the shore that you know you belong to, despite all odds.
As an intp with an infj partner, this is hilariously good. They are the fiercest operators on the emotional plane, which is a good thing... with that highly developed fi I've got...
Just curious. Do you ever feel manipulated? Or is it something you look for in your partner?
@@ladybluebell1598 No, never. A lot of infjs are lost because they don't know the power they have. The ones that do rarely use it to manipulate, very few use it negatively (as far as I've seen). You will see it in their day to day lives, their capability to manipulate. My gf has gotten pulled over 12 time, one time going 50mph over and has never gotten a ticket. They can destroy you, but if they care about you, they'll do the opposite. I am very careful with these type of things though...could just be me.
@@billySquanto gotta stay on her good side I guess lol
@@ladybluebell1598 yes, but they also need someone to tell them they are wrong and aren't a prophet at times. They can be VERY hard headed, much like an intj, but in a very different way. They mean well though.
@@billySquanto let's see how far this hardcore chaotic thinking system will fit in hardcore organized emotional system , this kind of relationship not meant to last for long term.
I partially agree. It’s better to like what you do and you will be motivated to learn more about it and stay up to date. But, sometimes you will be surprised by what you like so you have to try things to know for sure. Secondly, in anything you do there will probably be tasks that you might not like, so be prepared for that, too. So, you have to look at the bigger picture. Do I like the main work I do? Does it give me what I need? - money and the society and people I want to socialize with? So, it’s a combination of elements you have to look into.
GREAT VIDEO! Thanks! As an INFJ I think my dominant function NI describes who I am, but my tertiary function TI describes my ideal self or who’d I rather be…I often find myself with my TI testing my Ni-FE assertions against my SE observation together with all the available TI evidence I can muster…to others this might seem over analytical, but I think it’s a way of naturally safeguarding and assuring my NI FE assumptions. Consequently, I think all personality types have similar issues. INTJ for example, also wish they were more in tune with their tertiary FI functions. I think I have learned to appreciate my INFJ nature as I have come to realize in balance with my other functions, that NI FE (however manipulative) can be very effective…
I became a Health and Safety Advisor and love it
I think I’m INFJ and have zero desire to counsel or advise anyone by imposing my insights or opinions. I always look at problem solving within family or friend relationships as open dialogue. Maybe I’ll have some insight that is helpful, however I love and know my friends and family well enough to see they will appreciate any dialogue and make up their own mind.
There is a difference between a healthy INFJ and an unhealthy INFJ. Although not perfect, I’m a healthy INFJ.
4:20 great point, it's ok to be in a role that supports, if that is where one's talents are best utilised
I've often found during conversations with friends that if I have something I want to bring up or talk about, I will steer the conversation in a way that means the other person will bring it up or start talking about something related so that I can then talk about what I wanted instead of just randomly bringing it up. I never even realised I did it until this "manipulation" thing was mentioned in one of your other INFJ videos.
Thank you for comment section always help me a lot❤️❤️❤️
I've always loved to Merlin, Wizard, Druid characters. The go between, between the people and the king. The person always here, there, everywhere and seemingly nowhere. Always guiding the situation of the day to a more centered place, mitigating extremes. Its an exciting possibility but very taxing and all consuming. It take a lot of development to be able to control how much to get involved, how to say no, when to speak and when to stay quiet. its a learning curve that's for sure.
We aren't manipulative. We're not potentially manipulative. Only if you take things out of context. And when u take things out of context, you can apply anything to it. That's why context matters. We only "manipulate" in specific conditions.
Excellent insight. This infj is thoroughly impressed!
Great words to end the video.
Building on strength is a good general tip.
I realized young I could manipulate people effortlessly. I also realize I had every capability to use to that to my advantage. I chose to use it to theirs.
Iam gonna have to listen to this one again...I like to just absorb things but this one is warranting intent listening....
Am i normal im a Dark Empath INFJ and i dont like gettijg out of Ni-Ti loop because it will help me achieve the ideal world and will help everyone. I already cutted off every external factors that will hinder me and i think its great. I converted empathy to manipulation and its the best!
As an INFJ, my current job is in a startup where I mostly take the vision of the CEO then I go about advising him and managing programmers to make sure that everyone is following the vision.
I do not get much recognition since I am mostly working in the shadows. But I am loving it. I feel like my strengths are put into good use. I hate attention anyway.
Yo. I'm here early, so I thought I'd Comment. (I'm also an INFJ. :)
@@lovewho Lol!
You pronounced my Name-Right!
Hi!
:)