My school therapist used to act like this and this documentary has been really triggering for me since the start. Every complex, unconscious issue I had was dumbed down to exercise and there was no wiggle room. If I wasn't thinking of ending myself, I wasn't an important case. I have a new psych now though that I really appreciate.
I actually don't have an impression that Stutz is trying to come across as the one to have discovered all these commonly known in the field ideas. Instead, as, at least for me, this movie is an intimate portrait of a unique relationship, he talks us through his array of tools using more simplistic terms. It's more like giving the big names more digestible nicknames. It's like he's speaking to Joah, but wanting to spread the word (pun unintended) to the wider audience. Just my personal take. P.S. I appreciate these videos, this discussion, and dr. Honda so much ❤️🔥
My ex-boyfriend recommended i'd think of my negative inner voice as Donald Trump saying it and i'd be less likely to believe it. 😅 It actually helped. :D
that's a brilliant idea! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I immediately heard Shane Gillis' trump voice 🤣 the one advantage of having been slightly neglected as a child... No negative inner voice welp 🤣 I'm very proud of my self-esteem and confidence actually. All hail (childhood) therapy 🤣
I know someone who was actually a patient of Stutz's early in his career. He said that he would say "shut the fuck up and do what I say, it'll work." He said he was helpful to a degree, but not life changing either in a positive or negative direction.
If he does this with certain patients who respond well to it, great. If he does this to everyone, just because he’s convinced of himself and his method, … not helpful.
One size doesn't fit all. I am sure this method is life changing for some. Sometimes a therapist can help one person and be completely useless for someone else. know way too many people with passive therapists. They are just repeating and analysing stuff without making an actual change. There are cases when such tough treatment is best a patient can get
He helped me through a documentary and I have never had therapy. I have been clincally depressed for 3 years. I have not left my house in years because of agoraphobia. I dropped super low this past 2 weeks. I always do that, up and down. But this time I stopped coming up. Instead I dropped lower and lower than before. I thought if I rode the lows out I get back to my highs and keep building from there. But that never worked. I fell into a deep dark hole where I didn't even like seeing humans. They's make me irritable. I felt myself slipping away to the point of standing off the cliff of a popular suicide spot in my city. I sat on the corner of that cliff and cried watching army reunion videos because I couldn't cry about myself. I didn't want to accept that I was sad that particular day. I always said, I'm depressed but I'm not sad. But that 2 weeks all I felt was sad. Dark. Alone. But I put myself there on purpose. I drove myself to that cliff. Crying about families reuniting with their loved ones so I could release tears. Well, it turned into such a horrific result. I sat on the cliff, I cried abiut those random youtube vids and I looked down and felt afraid. For the first time ever I felt something other than sad in that 2 weeks. I crawled backwards and lay looking at the night sky wondering why I drove 30 mins to die. Then I got back in ny car and sat there for an hour. I just watched RUclips, I guess to distract myself. But then Stutz came up. Remember I have never been to therapy. I've heard horror stories and how its hard to find the right one. But man, when I saw that clip about Jonah and his shadow, I knew he'd been where I'd been. In that dark well. I ended watching it and crying, for myself this time. I felt everything that therapist explained and he did it so accurately. I always knew the way out. But I lacked motivation. But the tools he gave me, the knowledge I held to make a quick turn around was the hand out of the well that I needed. I have never confronted my shadow self. My internal homophobic self and all her pain. I slapped her hand away so many times. But for the first time, I atleast have guidance. This man is a great therapist. If you cannot hear what he is saying, then you try again. I always look for the big bad shadow and ask them to win. I ask myself to lose these battles. So I can remain an immovable object. But I don't want to be 80 looking back and regretting my decisions. I want to help my shadow self and accept her with love. Those small fast changes he talks about in the beginning are words noone wants to hear if they're combatative. Like me. We always look for something to disapprove healthy methods. What we really need is do. As blankly as possible, we force. Body/People/Yourself. Work on your force. Just go.
I’ve been the “go-to” for friends and family problems forever. I could even get relative strangers to tell me just about anything and everything. At 30 I started to feel exhausted (& bored) by everyone coming to me for every problem. At 40 I realized the reason I was able to do this is because I asked a million questions and was genuinely curious about almost everything new or different I came across- and most importantly, it was a highly effective way to not EVER have to talk about myself or open up to anyone 🙃 whoops lol
@@PurpleLolipopProduct lol nope 😅 I can say that just being more aware of when or how I’m pulling back or closing off has been helpful to at least start identifying what topics or moods or feelings I’m avoiding. Maybe there’s some correlation or pattern I will find to help me narrow down the root issue - and having this new awareness has helped to push me to take a teeny tiny baby step during some conversations to share something small or a little vague that I normally wouldn’t- just to kinda test the waters with how certain people respond or receive it and slowly try to feel comfortable being uncomfortable All that said, the best and most effective way is likely with therapy and help but…ya know…lmaooo 🙃
Oh my god, yes! I have always had people telling me deep shit out of nowhere and considered becoming a therapist. It happened the most frequently as a barista, people will bare their soul in the Starbucks drive thru - and good for them, was nice having something different to talk about.
I think his meaning of “always works” is more nuanced. He’s not saying it always works 100% of the time. He’s saying, if implemented appropriately, the net effect of that implementation will be positive.
i really like stutz! i don’t think he’s trying to imply that he came up with all this or that his therapy is meant for everyone. people need different things i would love to have a stutz-like hardass therapist
Thanks for the videos Dr Honda. It has been interesting to see your take on the documentary. I didn't personally come away with much of an opinion on Stutz other than he seems like an interesting man and he seems to have a good relationship with Jonah. I haven't had therapy, not because I think it's bad, I'm just not very good at opening up to people so it was nice to see the patient/client relationship they have. I don't think a therapist like Stutz would necessarily work for me, but it does seem that there is someone for everybody.
My psychologist and I have been working on externalisation. She refers to the voice as the self critic and she conceptualises as something trying to protect me but it a very unhelpful way. Much like an overbearing parent. I visualise it as bird which does not trust me and therefore squawks and attacks but I can soothe and befriend. (Something i did with the actual birds near my house) and soothing the bird, I soothe myself.
It’s funny you say that about pre therapist life. I too had those experiences and comments even from my father. I think it’s an energy and open communication style or natural ability to read people and their emotions. I started off majoring in Psych, but concluded I wouldn’t be good despite enjoying the field. I majored in Anthropology with a minor in evolutionary linguistics and really truly enjoy it and it too kinda came naturally to me.
I love his style, at the same time I have meditated so deeply I found answers from my past so I strongly believe in having to dig into your past to fix issues you may have today but getting through the day I remind myself of the here and now and always if there's an issue, how can it be solved and if it's an easy fix it always calms me down and keeps me focused to fix it instead of be upset about it
I work at homeless shelter as a shuttle driver and I k is guests that more comfortable talking to me about their issues then the actual therapist we have on site.
I get people telling me their life story all the time and I'm not a therapist. I'm a good listener. One time a uber driver told me about his love life. At the end of the ride, I joked "That will be $200." 🤣
My favourite thing about your channel is getting exposed to different forms of therapy, before then I really didn't know what was out therr or what I could look for.
He is not claiming to invent anything or be unique. It's simply filming therapy with a therapist. Your therapist is not going to go into the history of where these tools originated from in your session. They are just going to explain it to you simply in their own words & encourage you by saying this will work!
I really like the book by Dr. Julie Smith as a resource that makes some of the things you could learn in therapy more accessible to those who can't/don't go to therapy. This documentary wasn't it for me, but that absolutely doesn't mean the tools wouldn't work for other people watching.
These videos have been helpful in terms of understanding the different theorerical orientations of therapists and what's meant by integrative. This has always confused me!
It didn't seem like that. I had a sense that they have a very strong bond and that this movie is more as a thank you . Or that Jonah wants to share the method with others.
I have to say I think Dr. Honda & Dr. Stutz just have a different personality. He has a real confident "new yawkah" personality which some can take as grandiose or abrasive but I think Stutz is saying the same things just simplified. It would not inspire confidence in most ppl to say "well this might work".
I don’t feel like he was saying he’s always right par sey but he doesn’t worry because he’s human and has a good relationship with his clients… hopefully
I've had some thoughts or desires to be a therapist but I know it's probably not a great fit for me. I don't think anyone's asked me for advice Haha. I'm not super sensitive with people.
Totally not the case in my opinion. I have seen a lot of gratitude from Jonah to this guy for how he helped him to change his life. I think people are now obsessed with a therm narcissistic.
Shocker, a big ego therapist missing the point. I’ve watched up to this point because despite the fact that you take every opportunity to point out that this guy is not special and that all therapists do what he does, when that’s just not true. In an earlier episode you said you don’t even really believe in bad therapist more so that they are just a bad fit with their client is insane. I’ve been to 3 therapists as 21 year old and what this man said in a documentary that HIS CLIENT wanted to make about him has made more of an impact then any of those 3 have. Instead of focusing on what this guy is saying and celebrating the documentary and what it does you have torn it down at every chance to remind everyone listening that you are just as good of a therapist as him. Which may be true but is so annoying to listen to.
Jonah hill makes it clear in the doc that he purposefully wants it to be about Stutz and the fact you can’t get over that that’s the subject matter is unfortunate. You obviously have lots of good to say which is why I’ve made it this far but this is also where it stops because I assure you there IS something unique about Stutz and it’s not about the fact that he made up these terms and/or ideas. It’s about Stutz and how HE influenced Jonah hill.
I have got the feeling it took you four videos without to tell, Stutz is not better than anybody else, I have seen it, Stutz is not special - I do the same without acknowledging the quality of the portrayal of one patient - therapist relationship. It film is not about you being a bad therapist.
My school therapist used to act like this and this documentary has been really triggering for me since the start. Every complex, unconscious issue I had was dumbed down to exercise and there was no wiggle room. If I wasn't thinking of ending myself, I wasn't an important case. I have a new psych now though that I really appreciate.
I actually don't have an impression that Stutz is trying to come across as the one to have discovered all these commonly known in the field ideas. Instead, as, at least for me, this movie is an intimate portrait of a unique relationship, he talks us through his array of tools using more simplistic terms. It's more like giving the big names more digestible nicknames. It's like he's speaking to Joah, but wanting to spread the word (pun unintended) to the wider audience. Just my personal take. P.S. I appreciate these videos, this discussion, and dr. Honda so much ❤️🔥
My ex-boyfriend recommended i'd think of my negative inner voice as Donald Trump saying it and i'd be less likely to believe it. 😅 It actually helped. :D
Hahaha I love this
Brilliant!
I'm going to remember that 🤣🤣
:D :D
that's a brilliant idea! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I immediately heard Shane Gillis' trump voice 🤣 the one advantage of having been slightly neglected as a child... No negative inner voice welp 🤣 I'm very proud of my self-esteem and confidence actually. All hail (childhood) therapy 🤣
I know someone who was actually a patient of Stutz's early in his career. He said that he would say "shut the fuck up and do what I say, it'll work." He said he was helpful to a degree, but not life changing either in a positive or negative direction.
sounds like he's lacking listening/empathy skills.
If he does this with certain patients who respond well to it, great. If he does this to everyone, just because he’s convinced of himself and his method, … not helpful.
One size doesn't fit all. I am sure this method is life changing for some. Sometimes a therapist can help one person and be completely useless for someone else. know way too many people with passive therapists. They are just repeating and analysing stuff without making an actual change. There are cases when such tough treatment is best a patient can get
He helped me through a documentary and I have never had therapy. I have been clincally depressed for 3 years. I have not left my house in years because of agoraphobia. I dropped super low this past 2 weeks. I always do that, up and down. But this time I stopped coming up. Instead I dropped lower and lower than before. I thought if I rode the lows out I get back to my highs and keep building from there. But that never worked. I fell into a deep dark hole where I didn't even like seeing humans. They's make me irritable. I felt myself slipping away to the point of standing off the cliff of a popular suicide spot in my city.
I sat on the corner of that cliff and cried watching army reunion videos because I couldn't cry about myself. I didn't want to accept that I was sad that particular day. I always said, I'm depressed but I'm not sad. But that 2 weeks all I felt was sad. Dark. Alone. But I put myself there on purpose. I drove myself to that cliff. Crying about families reuniting with their loved ones so I could release tears. Well, it turned into such a horrific result. I sat on the cliff, I cried abiut those random youtube vids and I looked down and felt afraid. For the first time ever I felt something other than sad in that 2 weeks. I crawled backwards and lay looking at the night sky wondering why I drove 30 mins to die. Then I got back in ny car and sat there for an hour. I just watched RUclips, I guess to distract myself. But then Stutz came up. Remember I have never been to therapy. I've heard horror stories and how its hard to find the right one. But man, when I saw that clip about Jonah and his shadow, I knew he'd been where I'd been. In that dark well.
I ended watching it and crying, for myself this time. I felt everything that therapist explained and he did it so accurately. I always knew the way out. But I lacked motivation. But the tools he gave me, the knowledge I held to make a quick turn around was the hand out of the well that I needed. I have never confronted my shadow self. My internal homophobic self and all her pain. I slapped her hand away so many times. But for the first time, I atleast have guidance.
This man is a great therapist. If you cannot hear what he is saying, then you try again. I always look for the big bad shadow and ask them to win. I ask myself to lose these battles. So I can remain an immovable object. But I don't want to be 80 looking back and regretting my decisions. I want to help my shadow self and accept her with love.
Those small fast changes he talks about in the beginning are words noone wants to hear if they're combatative. Like me. We always look for something to disapprove healthy methods. What we really need is do. As blankly as possible, we force. Body/People/Yourself. Work on your force. Just go.
I’ve been the “go-to” for friends and family problems forever. I could even get relative strangers to tell me just about anything and everything. At 30 I started to feel exhausted (& bored) by everyone coming to me for every problem. At 40 I realized the reason I was able to do this is because I asked a million questions and was genuinely curious about almost everything new or different I came across- and most importantly, it was a highly effective way to not EVER have to talk about myself or open up to anyone 🙃 whoops lol
Holy smokes, I do the same! Did you find a way to open up more that you’d be willing to share with me?
@@PurpleLolipopProduct lol nope 😅 I can say that just being more aware of when or how I’m pulling back or closing off has been helpful to at least start identifying what topics or moods or feelings I’m avoiding. Maybe there’s some correlation or pattern I will find to help me narrow down the root issue - and having this new awareness has helped to push me to take a teeny tiny baby step during some conversations to share something small or a little vague that I normally wouldn’t- just to kinda test the waters with how certain people respond or receive it and slowly try to feel comfortable being uncomfortable All that said, the best and most effective way is likely with therapy and help but…ya know…lmaooo 🙃
no way, as I read your comment I just had the exact thought process minutes ago :D
Love when you discuss styles of therapists. Would love to see a series on just that!!❤
Oh my god, yes! I have always had people telling me deep shit out of nowhere and considered becoming a therapist. It happened the most frequently as a barista, people will bare their soul in the Starbucks drive thru - and good for them, was nice having something different to talk about.
I think his meaning of “always works” is more nuanced. He’s not saying it always works 100% of the time. He’s saying, if implemented appropriately, the net effect of that implementation will be positive.
i really like stutz! i don’t think he’s trying to imply that he came up with all this or that his therapy is meant for everyone. people need different things i would love to have a stutz-like hardass therapist
Thanks for the videos Dr Honda. It has been interesting to see your take on the documentary. I didn't personally come away with much of an opinion on Stutz other than he seems like an interesting man and he seems to have a good relationship with Jonah. I haven't had therapy, not because I think it's bad, I'm just not very good at opening up to people so it was nice to see the patient/client relationship they have. I don't think a therapist like Stutz would necessarily work for me, but it does seem that there is someone for everybody.
My psychologist and I have been working on externalisation. She refers to the voice as the self critic and she conceptualises as something trying to protect me but it a very unhelpful way. Much like an overbearing parent. I visualise it as bird which does not trust me and therefore squawks and attacks but I can soothe and befriend. (Something i did with the actual birds near my house) and soothing the bird, I soothe myself.
It’s funny you say that about pre therapist life. I too had those experiences and comments even from my father. I think it’s an energy and open communication style or natural ability to read people and their emotions. I started off majoring in Psych, but concluded I wouldn’t be good despite enjoying the field. I majored in Anthropology with a minor in evolutionary linguistics and really truly enjoy it and it too kinda came naturally to me.
Yay I love watching these ! Thanks Dr Honda
This documentary felt like one big commercial for his “Tools,” and workshops…
I love his style, at the same time I have meditated so deeply I found answers from my past so I strongly believe in having to dig into your past to fix issues you may have today but getting through the day I remind myself of the here and now and always if there's an issue, how can it be solved and if it's an easy fix it always calms me down and keeps me focused to fix it instead of be upset about it
I work at homeless shelter as a shuttle driver and I k is guests that more comfortable talking to me about their issues then the actual therapist we have on site.
These are incredibly educational. Appreciate them
7:55 Kirk being silly made me crack up.
He often goes for his throat it's so cute 🤣
I get people telling me their life story all the time and I'm not a therapist. I'm a good listener. One time a uber driver told me about his love life. At the end of the ride, I joked "That will be $200." 🤣
My favourite thing about your channel is getting exposed to different forms of therapy, before then I really didn't know what was out therr or what I could look for.
He is not claiming to invent anything or be unique. It's simply filming therapy with a therapist. Your therapist is not going to go into the history of where these tools originated from in your session. They are just going to explain it to you simply in their own words & encourage you by saying this will work!
Gabor Mate,
PLEASE.
Yes
I really like the book by Dr. Julie Smith as a resource that makes some of the things you could learn in therapy more accessible to those who can't/don't go to therapy. This documentary wasn't it for me, but that absolutely doesn't mean the tools wouldn't work for other people watching.
Stutz as a therapist is grating to hear
These videos have been helpful in terms of understanding the different theorerical orientations of therapists and what's meant by integrative. This has always confused me!
Why am I picturing the evil Kermit meme? Lol 🐸
😂
I'm starting to think that Jonah Hill made this to see for himself if this guy is the real deal by everyone else's reaction.
Interesting theory, but he seems enthralled with the guy to me. Who is okay with having his mother demeaned?
It didn't seem like that. I had a sense that they have a very strong bond and that this movie is more as a thank you . Or that Jonah wants to share the method with others.
I wish you'd have subtitles on on the documentary! As a non-native speaker it's sometimes very hard to comprehend what that therapist is saying. 😬
Can't you turn the CC on the RUclips video?
@@kat_likemeow The auto captioning is even dumber than me. :D
Boy discovers a book, thinks author’s ideas are all original and unique to author, writes his own book about the author and his ideas
I have to say I think Dr. Honda & Dr. Stutz just have a different personality. He has a real confident "new yawkah" personality which some can take as grandiose or abrasive but I think Stutz is saying the same things just simplified. It would not inspire confidence in most ppl to say "well this might work".
I don’t feel like he was saying he’s always right par sey but he doesn’t worry because he’s human and has a good relationship with his clients… hopefully
I've had some thoughts or desires to be a therapist but I know it's probably not a great fit for me. I don't think anyone's asked me for advice Haha. I'm not super sensitive with people.
a red flag of not understanding science 🤣
I find that this therapist is narcissistic and Jonah is completely hoodwinked.
Totally not the case in my opinion. I have seen a lot of gratitude from Jonah to this guy for how he helped him to change his life.
I think people are now obsessed with a therm narcissistic.
Shocker, a big ego therapist missing the point. I’ve watched up to this point because despite the fact that you take every opportunity to point out that this guy is not special and that all therapists do what he does, when that’s just not true. In an earlier episode you said you don’t even really believe in bad therapist more so that they are just a bad fit with their client is insane. I’ve been to 3 therapists as 21 year old and what this man said in a documentary that HIS CLIENT wanted to make about him has made more of an impact then any of those 3 have. Instead of focusing on what this guy is saying and celebrating the documentary and what it does you have torn it down at every chance to remind everyone listening that you are just as good of a therapist as him. Which may be true but is so annoying to listen to.
Jonah hill makes it clear in the doc that he purposefully wants it to be about Stutz and the fact you can’t get over that that’s the subject matter is unfortunate. You obviously have lots of good to say which is why I’ve made it this far but this is also where it stops because I assure you there IS something unique about Stutz and it’s not about the fact that he made up these terms and/or ideas. It’s about Stutz and how HE influenced Jonah hill.
I have got the feeling it took you four videos without to tell, Stutz is not better than anybody else, I have seen it, Stutz is not special - I do the same without acknowledging the quality of the portrayal of one patient - therapist relationship. It film is not about you being a bad therapist.
somebody is jelous