"Beached Whale" Suburban - Part 1 (No-Crank, No-Comm)

Deja vu? Another GM truck with CAN problems!
Got towed to my shop, does NOT CRANK.
This one won't even talk to my scanner...so that's a good place to start.
After getting the network back online, it STILL doesn't crank!! Curveball?
IVAN'S PICO WAVEFORMS:
drive.google.c...
MAGIC TEST LIGHT:
www.amazon.com...
THINKTOOL PROS:
www.amazon.com...
Enjoy!
Ivan