Capitalism Does Not Give a Damn About Disabled People
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- Опубликовано: 5 июл 2024
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Podcast: veganvanguardpodcast.com/
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Tristan's Channel: / @stepbackhistory
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Disability Justice Resources:
Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Care Work: arsenalpulp.com/Books/C/Care-...
Sunaura Taylor, Beasts of Burden: thenewpress.com/books/beasts-...
Marta Russel and Ravi Malhorta, Capitalism and Disability: socialistregister.com/index.p...
Eli Clare, Exile and Pride: www.dukeupress.edu/exile-and-...
Documentary: Crip Camp on Netflix
Kay and Skittles, Disability: What Is the Social Model? (Video): • Disability: What Is Th...
Snapple and Cats (The Disability Enthusiast YT Channel): / @snappleandcats8045
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, Can you tell if a disabled person is 'faking'? (Video): • Can you tell if a disa...
Theory Pleeb, Playlist on "Timenergy": • Timenergy
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COVID-19 and Seizing the Means with Bitchy Shitshow (Part 1): bitchyshitshow.com/2020/03/31...
COVID-19 and Seizing the Means with Bitchy Shitshow (Part 2): veganvanguardpodcast.com/48-c...
I'd like to add subtitles to this! I know RUclips provides automatic closed captioning, which is decent. If anyone who has more capacity than I do would like to contribute captions and/or translate this, I am forever grateful!
I can start with the Spanish version but it might take a while xD
amazing, thank you so much!
OurBrainHurtsALot and Mexie very thanks ! I''m brasilian, don't understand English...
I can try czech subtitles, also amazing video :)
@DieRoteFahne thank you so much!
The vast majority of disabled people would contribute if there weren't so many societal barriers. It's like the system just wants us to hide in a corner and stay quiet and invisible, like we're not even part of society. Well, unless we're being "inspirational" or something.
Yep and then ableists get mad when they're not "contributing to society" or "contributing enough".
Yeeeeep. My therapist, who is disabled and in a wheelchair, has a partner who is also disabled, and they are both legally not even allowed to get married or they would lose their health insurance, and my therapist also has to work as an individual contractor with almost zero benefits because of her disabilities.
I am grateful for the work she does and has told her so, but it just shocks me how much she and I both have to deal with when we just...talk about it in the open. It's ridiculous.
Maybe it is the intention; Maybe the Little sneekly dream of a Aktion T4 version 2030!
Yes i sound like Alex Jones. Maybe he's correct about Eugenetica, in the meaning passive killing! Not by giving a free shower in Dachau, but let us drown in the swamp! Then saying we dont kill them!
An an radical anarcho communist sex and LHBTI+ positive anti bootsstraps version of A Jones
Capitalism has no ❤️
The only reason is that the state industry allow us to exist is to show that they 're the 'good' ones and a little left over values of Christianity combined with pittyness
Otherwise something like the German Aktion Tiergarten 4 law where introduced, but more advanced sneekly way!
Yes they had showers and crematoria, later replaced to the Nazi Arbeitslager cq Death camps!
Realising that you're just genuinely unable to do even the absolute minimum of what is necessary to be considered a "productive member of society" (and therefore worthy of a decent living) is both incredibly frightening and the best wake-up call to the nature of capitalism I ever had.
I guess there's a reason that both of the autistic people in my family ended up being leftists without ever even meeting.
Thank you for talking about this topic and sharing your experience!
Yeah, that's super frustrating! Doing as good as you can and working hard and... still only achieving less than necessary to even keep afloat.
Yup this society is bullshit and nobody understands why we struggle just with the basic day to day and have no energy left to work to the capacity expected of us.
@@O_Canada Steal away, then.
My illness woke me up by making me far more aware and perceptive of the vile nature and unreasonable expectations of capitalism.
Exactly! Especially since people who are neurodivergent, like me, and those with chronic mental or physical illnesses, also like me lol, are the ones who need the most amount of help in a society like this. Like, it took me six years to get any help with my chronic pain caused by my reproductive organs--and if I didn't have my medication I would literally not be able to move out of my bed for HALF OF THE YEAR.
Like...I just wanna have my meds, live, and be allowed to explore, help, play, and create. It shouldn't be controversial to just NOT WANNA DIE and to help others.
I'm on the autism spectrum and and diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I get berated by my workaholic coworkers for emotionally detaching myself from the workplace just so I don't collapse into daily panic attacks.
Bobbie Draper You take care of yourself first. Those folks will find out their foolishness soon enough.
💜
Those "illness" labels themselves cover up the facts of why and how our society itself is the sick and diagnosis requiring culprit.
Im on the spectrum myself, just remember it's not an illness though. It can be very much used as an advantage. Take care of yourself mate & always do what you think is right, you'll learn a lot that way. Be true to yourself. 🙏✨
This whole video I was thinking "well I'm not THAT stressed so I'm fine" but seeing this comment makes me realise I am in the same boat, just shallower waters
Body image and capitalism! If we wouldn’t hate our bodies so much, how would we spend so much money on “fixing” it?? Waiting for your collab.
@Winston Smith probably because they're deformed due to inbreeding and kosherite intermarriage.
@Winston Smith Most of these people on the left have genetic abnormalities but are living under the tyranny of liberalism and so they believe that all people are equal even though this requires disbelieving in the theory of evolution (all leftists *hate* science). Capitalism has made it possible for extremely dysgenic families to continue on reproducing whereas ordinarily these people wouldn't exist in history. So in this sense they are correct, that without capitalism they wouldn't have these problems but that is because without capitalism they wouldn't be alive.
anonymous user Ok, fash
have you read anti diet from Christy Harrison? SOOO good! she has a podcast called food psych that I think yous all would like.
@Winston Smith You come on here calling out people for being angry about capitalism. You seem kinda angry to me with the way you actively seek out leftist channel to promote your views in the most hostile manner possible. You tell people capitalism is the best and that disabled people have it better under this system compared to any other. You point to countries like NZ and tell us how capitalism has provided us with such blessings despite most capitalist countries not having anywhere near the services that NZ have. You say these are achievements of capitalism but fail to point out that in many capitalist countries right wingers are actively trying to dismantle these services because they believe it will destroy the economy. You know right wingers who are the most active proponents of free market capitalism. They dont want disabled people to exist, so why are you trying to promote a system that actively tries to hurt the people you are promoting it to. I know you are just gonna go on a tirade about how we are all just lazy and we deserve our misery and dismiss our experience as made up entitled whinging. So tell me again why the fk should any of us care about the system you promote you self important pompous moron.
This idea that elderly and disabled people should sacrifice our lives makes me sick to my stomach. And you're right to connect it to eugenics.
any that push these ideologies of lives should be sacrificed should step up to be the first to go for thinking the way they are for others Or maybe don't try destroy other people to begin with ..Just because they have become unwell or refuse to be used and abused until cant do any more
Thst was the way it was done here in germany. Disabled people(and alot more) were guilted into thinking they are a burden so they would allow themselves to be killed/commit suicide
@@BrosBrothersLPwhen was this??
finally a leftist vid on ableism, disabilities and capitalism there's so few of them. been trying to nudge philosophy tube to make one for a long time. especially on autism.
@@SSC thank you
i know libertarian socialist rants has some vids on mental health and autism that are interesting.
@@T.H.W.O.T.H thanks!
@@maksimilijan5029 I've also got one you might like! ruclips.net/video/hWZx4Y7Cpq8/видео.html
@@KayAndSkittles thank you!
Thank you for this video! I'm disabled myself and I feel like I've been in a never ending rage ever since covid-19 started. If I hear "don't worry, only the elderly and sick will die" or "there's overpopulation anyways" one more time I am going to SCREAM. On a more positive note, I read Marta Russel's essays in 'Capitalism and Disability' this week and felt much better after recognition of the struggle, even though it's a difficult topic to read about. Best wishes to you, may you heal even more at your own pace!
Same! Though I admit, I would probably do more than scream.
@@ErutaniaRosehey do whatever you feel you have to do. Just don't think you can hurt other people. But as long as you're not hurting anyone else you have the right to do whatever as long as it's legal
Hadn't thought of this perspective before, even more reasons to despise capitalism now. Capitalism is truly anti-human.
@@FangOfGod the truly weak and hopeless in a human context are those who can't cooperate with others and share the goods their labour produces, ie. capitalists... they're doing well now but in the long run their approach is nothing but a death cult either through environmental destruction or through all the violence they put out into the world finally coming back to them
@@FangOfGod
Spoken like a true eugenicist, and like all l eugenicist I seriously hope you will get to experience it first hand.
SOCIALISM IS LITTERALY THE SAME!
Exactly! If she had been born either in Cuba or North Korea all her problems would be solved!
@@fuck4317 You don't know what that word means.
Thank you for sharing. I have chronic illness too and am always made to feel like I'm just doing it to annoy people or be lazy because it affects my 'productivity'
ugh, yes, I feel this. I often end up saying yes to way too much just because I'm so self-conscious about annoying people or being a 'burden' to them :(
@@Mexie I decided recently to give up on a friendship because I don't need constant guilt trips
I'm sorry, but I very much support this. it really takes a toll
@@Mexie thank you so much. Hope you're doing ok
@@Mexie you're so amazing 🥰 I love how you speak
I felt this in my bones. Also a burned out academic with pain. The lockdown has really put things into perspective. Thanks for sharing this. I helps so much to realise you are not alone.
This is why the social theory of disability makes the most sense to me. The clearest example of this, to me, is nearsightedness. So, without accessibility and acceptability, being nearsighted would be a disability. Glasses, contacts, laser surgery etc is accessible and there isn't a social stigma associated with wearing glasses etc. If we, as disabled people, had access to mobility devices, medication, time consideration etc, & if there weren't a social stigma associated with any of these things, our disabilities (as far as our social interactions are impeded)would be meaningfully reduced if not alleviated completely.
As someone who has cerebral palsy, has been unemployed my whole time in college, and being 24 years of age, I always feel guilt ridden whenever I have to admit to my parents that I still have no idea what to do with my life career-wise. This is because there are very few realistic avenues for me to take when it comes to finding a job that balances between having comfort for my personal wellbeing, and reasonable working hours. This also hurts me in terms of finding relationships because I always believed that even though disabled people are more accepted today than decades past, no person in their right mind would still want to date a person who is still confused about their career path after spending a long time in post secondary institutions. I'm considering showing my parents this video to better have them understand my frustrations about finding my place in a society that doesn't consider you as a productive member of society anyways. Thank you!
my partner got declared "fit for work" by the right wing UK government... she has crohns, ehlers danlos, chronic pain, depression, severe anxiety, insomnia, ptsd from witnessing a suicide attempt and probably other things. someone with all that is not eligible for disability benefits because someone with no medical training assessed her. even when she did qualify (with less issues) she was subject to the stress of constant re-evaluations of her case. they're particularly bad when it comes to mental health, she and other people i know have been asked how they would kill themselves, or why they haven't if they're so depressed. there's been news stories about paraplegics and people with terminal cancer over here being declared fit for work. there's been people unable to attend benefits related appointments due to their illness who got sanctioned then died because they couldn't afford food. people with disabilities have to wait weeks and weeks to potentially start receiving benefits and even just to find out whether they are eligible and some die whilst waiting. the conservative government has killed THOUSANDS of people through these practises over the ten years or so they've been in power. and yet most people don't seem to give a shit and vote them back in time after time. plenty of news outlets won't even cover it. it's so fucked up.
What you are describing with the disability system in the UK is similar to what goes on in the USA. One difference is that it takes months (at least) instead of weeks to get disability benefits in the USA. And then a lot of people have to go through an appeals process to get their disability. And you don't get much if you succeed with your disability claim. There are also re-examinations every 3 or 6 years. I'm sure that the humiliation and other negative experiences that the system puts you through are designed to discourage (and hopefully kill) you. I'm speaking from experience.
In the USA, for most people, their disability payment wouldn't be enough to even pay their rent, much less food and other necessities. And it takes two years on disability before a person is eligible for Medicare. And then the Medicare isn't any good. There are too many things that aren't covered and there are copayments even when something is covered. This is not to mention that the USA has about the worst medical system in the world. The USA spends more on medicine than anyone with poor outcomes.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that it's also bad in other countries.
I always struggle to view myself as disabled eventhough I definitely am. My autism was (and still is) blatantly ignored by all systems and authority figures I have been in contact with to the point I developed DID.
I used to be very good at masking, parts of me still are, other parts are not. I miraculously managed to achieve internal communication and planning before I was diagnosed and even knew what DID was.
But this sadly isn't enough, because I keep being denied therapy.
My trauma seems primarily based on executive tasks I am not immediately good at or has some risk of failing. I'm afraid of people shaming me, punishing me, for doing a simple task wrong even if this is a task I am doing on my own with no direct threat.
Finding a way to survive (not even live, just survive) is going to be a very difficult puzzle. I'm going to try to solve it of course, but generating enough money to survive when every interaction with a stranger, authority figure, or mildly difficult task makes me dissociate for an hour, or swap in someone else who has the same problem as me, is going to be *very* difficult
Thank you for the video! It's very brave to be so open about your struggles in an environment poisoned by ableism
This was brilliant. I have hated identifying as disabled, I have so much shame. This video helped me externalize the problem. Thank you so much. I'm going to make a response video :)
"Activity, effort, achievement, or service outside a hierarchical relationship and unmeasured by professional standards, threatens a commodity-intensive society." ―Ivan Illich, _The Right to Useful Unemployment and Its Professional Enemies_
I got shingles from stress once while working for the least understanding people on earth and had to quit my job. I was really sick for like a month, now my stomach and right side are covered in scars... Thanks Capitalism..
ugh, yes. I think my neck and back will be covered with scars for a long time. I'm so sorry this happened to you
@@Mexie I hadn't even made it to that part of the video yet, I just started writing my comment when you brought up stress at the beginning. I'm so sorry to hear it happened to you as well, mine looks like nothing by comparison it just ruined some of my tattoos and my stomach always kinda hurts now. It's just crazy how little people seem to care about it.
As a disabled, I appreciate this.
People often talk about the dignity of work, but not enough about human dignity. The right to life, liberty, and security of person, as specified in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I'm sorry to hear about your emotional, mental, and physical struggles, but I'm glad you shared them and that we get to see this side of you. Thank you for being a strong advocate for the planet and the living things on it.
And that more can be on the level of realising how REAL and VALID it is ... That is good to see shows a shift in awareness >>.... Which contrary to what many of these up top would shove is not a negative but a positive MOTION ..... ;)
If you have the energy, Maya Dusenbery wrote a great book called Doing Harm that spends a lot of time talking about how medicine has historically neglected women's suffering. Thee is a great discussion of chronic fatigue syndrome and its links to old school sexist ideals of hysteria, if I recall. Might be cathartic to be heard and echoed in her words
I relate to many things you said. I am able bodied but also light and sound sensitive, introverted, very affected by hormones and general stress and I have depression. So there are many times I can't be as active or social or "productive", but just like you said, I still have a lot to give and to contribute. I hate to be measured by productivity or accomplishments. Sometimes it's a real struggle in my head to accept that everything is ok with just surviving a day. Fuck, capitalism seriously destroys everyone!!
I admire you Mexie
Seeing this video made me realize how rarely this topic is talked about. Great video as always legend
Definitely agree! Recently someone recommended the channel "Leslie exp" and it's a really great RUclips channel that consistently talks about disability in a leftist focus. Really recommend them!
Most other left wing people still make fun of disabled people, especially those with mental disorders.
So well put at 30:20-31:55. Capitalism has cracked open the skulls of many and replaced brains with simple functions and parameters. I can't believe it's come to this and hope that somehow there's a collective shift towards a more compassionate world. That people wake the fuck up and we start having these crucial discussions on where we go next.
Thank you for sharing your experience; I hope that where we're going affords you and many others the ability to have lives of comfort, security and peace.
Quit whining like a little brat and move to a communist country then. Problem solved.
Loved the video
Something that drives me crazy is that all too common "people needs jobs" rhetoric
People don't need jobs. People need food. People need housing. People need good health.
Jobs are just a means to that ends that capitalism enforces on us
God, what a harrowing experience. Really glad to hear you're coming out the other side of the shingles attack and that the migraines have subsided since you cut down on the workload.
Stress really is a silent killer.
Great vid, Mex! Thanks for sharing your experience and also for situating it within that larger systemic analysis that really helps to inculcate class consciousness.
I wish I could make my family understand this. They think the way I live is just a lazy lifestyle instead if me struggling to do what I can. And when I try to explain my struggles they take it as entitled whinging. This attitude exacerbates mental illness in people with disabilities, we often struggle with self-worth in a culture which sees us as worthless and useless burdens. We feel alone because the people around us often refuse to even try to understand.
My country is slowly reopening businesses now, but I refuse to go back to work because my boss is not providing a safe work environment for me. When I reminded him that I have an autoimmune disease which not only makes me immunocompromised but also affects my ability to heal (so if I catch covid19 I could be seriously screwed), his response was "don't give me that BS". The worst part of this for me is that my boss is my father, he *should* know about my health conditions, but he's willing to prioritise his profits over my health. He never used to think like that, but owning a business in a capitalist society has seriously poisoned his mind. So now I might not have a job anymore, but I need to work to afford my medical equipment.
It sounds like I live in a right-wing hell-hole like the US but I don't, I live in New Zealand. Our disability welfare is okay if you only need to see a family doctor once in a while and all your medication and medical equipment is subsidised. Anything beyond that and life can get really hard. I'm lucky that I have a place to live, but I know a few people who have had to choose homelessness so that they could afford medical treatment. Our government is moving us in the right direction but it's still not enough, and we really need a culture shift away from capitalism and the ableism which comes with it. I can't imagine how hard it must be for disabled people in more right-wing countries right now. I don't have a lot of hope that we'll come out of the pandemic better off culturally.
I know it is horrible but I cant help but wish that people who look down on those who struggle developed an illness that prevented them from being as productive as they used to be. So many people lack the imagination and empathy to even entertain the possibility that you cant help your lack of energy.
@@Manlyman47 I wouldn't wish my illnesses on anyone else, but I do wish they'd at least attempt to be more empathetic. I'm autistic and I learned how to empathise with people mainly from studying anthropology, it's something I have to consciously practice sometimes but if I can do it then neurotypical people should certainly be able to.
Mexie, I have MS. I totally agree 1000%. I stopped teaching to give my energy to my own family, since its limited. Thank you for sharing. Its nice to know Im not alone ❤
I've tried working, i didn't go well emotionally. It tore me apart regardless of whether i was in an office or a retail situation. At this point, because of my chronic pain, i couldn't even work retail or food service if I wanted to. I can't stand and walk constantly and I can't afford a wheelchair. I rely on my fiancee's disability in the EU to have housing and food and I'm not yet eligible anywhere as far as I can tell because I can't seem to get a diagnosis and because according to the US, I haven't worked enough to be a valid person so I literally can't get disability????
I've been staying with my parents because I wasn't allowed to board the plane back home with my fiancee because of this pandemic and have had plenty of arguments with my dad about this. He's of the opinion that simultaneously religious groups need to help people instead of the state and *also* you can't just *give* someone housing because then they won't care about the house and they'll "trash it".
It honestly hurts for him to look at me and say (without realizing he's said it) that I don't deserve a place to live. That I don't deserve food let alone spending money because I'm in constant pain, have trauma from my childhood, and have depression that flares up to dangerous levels when i try to work. I'm disabled. I can't rely on some church to house and feed me as someone who won't convert to their religion. It hurts that he seems my life and the lives of others like me as being not worth existing enough to think that the economy should reflect it.
I hope you continue to recover well. Thanks for this video mexie
Wow this was so powerful, emotional, poignant to watch and so brave of you to make! Even though I can't relate, I was so viscerally moved by what you were talking about. And I loved how you related it back to capitalism and covid and the failures of current welfare programs. You are amazing!! Just a suggestion, do you think that a title of 'My disability story' or 'my chronic illness story' or 'what it's like living with chronic illness' would get more views and be better for the algorithm? I want this to go viral so bad!
hmm yeah you're probably right! I should've thought more about viral-ness of the title.. I want it to go viral but I also want capitalism sucks in the title so idk, I'm torn lol
At this point I'm extremely exhausted by the idea that self care is the only thing we need in this situation. Most of us still struggle with paying our rent and living a life where the most exciting activity is eating. Its obviously clear at this point that not allowing people to live a happier life is cruelty at most.
Thank you for this, and for sharing your story. This is a subject personal to me as I also have a chronic illness, one I'll have for the rest of my life. It is so relieving to see someone address ableism and its correlation to capitalism. I wish you the best Mexie ❤
I also just had shingles from January through early March! Ugh! And the nerve damage is awful! I'm so sorry you went through that too
thank you, I wish you the best too
This woman so brilliantly links all intersectional struggles so fluently. The part where she basically talks about the able-bodied capitalist willing to throw the disabled and poor into the fire of the pandemic for the dollar and not caring about human lives really sounds like the argument of the Black Lives Matter movement. How Black lives were seen as insignificant is now opening up the flood gates of seeing other people without power to be viewed and treated as insignificant as well.
republicans accepting those starship troopers level of insanity. just willing to throw meat into the grinder as a means to an end. :l
thank you for this video. here in the movement we value our disabled people. it sucks that crapitalism doesn't, but it's going down anyway. our new world (the one we carry in our hearts, like Durruti said) will have our disabled people living good dignified and fulfilling lives.
The fact that the capitalist system has sorted me out due to my chronic illness was the trigger for me to become politicised.
And I still haven't forgiven society and the system for that. Destroy capitalism!
I very recently accepted that the reason I've never held a "proper" full time permanant job is because I always knew at some level I couldn't handle it. I've been so hard on myself for so long wondering if I'm just essentally lazy because I burn out so fast and so often? It wasn't until I began looking into how many afab autistic people go undiagnosed and what their stories are like and the way masking taxes them that I realized what was really going on. My kid is on a waitlist to be assessed for ASD, and every single thing the pediatrician pointed to in her as evidence of autisim is the stuff that made me the "weird kid" so..... Maybe I'm not just a chronic slacker after all?
I know I shouldn't feel like this but hearing stories of disabled people that can live normal lives with relative easy just bugs me; maybe my chronic illnesses made me a bitter and sad human being.
I'm so sorry, I think that's a really understandable reaction though. I've been quite depressed through all of this and I know it would be worse if I had it worse, too.
So sorry to hear of your chronic pain. I feel ya. I've had fibromyalgia for 35 years. Worked 30 years as a nurse. Was able to get Social Security Disability Insurance at age 55 on first try without a lawyer. Not working helped so much. I live in the US. I understand being exhausted all the time and in pain all the time. I care for you and all your followers having to deal with anything like this. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know we're not alone and what can help.
As a person with an invisible disability I have been struggling with many similar problems for years and like you I have been trying so hard for so long to function "normally" at the expense of my health and my sanity. Last year the final straw finally broke me. I have had several health problems on top of my disability nobody can explain or do more then manage my symptoms. And as this lead into the pandemic I am definitely feeling the societal fuck you to people who physically or mentally (or both) can't keep doing this. If anything though this pandemic shows just how much of the status quo is bullshit and smoke and mirrors. This video really spoke to me and well it is nice to remember I am not alone. Greetings from Winterpeg.
I am so glad you had time to heal. I shared this with a lot of my friends and many found it relatable. You're so articulate and honest. I am glad good human beings exist and speak truth to power.
Your situation sounds very similar to what Gabor Maté describes in his book "When the Body Says No." You basically paraphrase the title, even, saying that your body "said enough" to the stress you were putting yourself under.
Maté is a physician who worked in palliative care watching patients who had lived their entire lives in highly stressed environments routinely ignore the signals their bodies gave, and he links this stress to several different chronic and terminal illnesses.
I've found the book incredibly helpful and I hope that more people can find it as helpful as I did. Your video was very helpful, too.
I'm disabled in British Columbia and I got fired before the pandemic was declared because I was burnt out and deathly ill with two colds. I'm on provincial disability and I'm grateful we don't have the clawbacks but my distrust in the system with the clawback I had last year for collecting medical EI and losing all my benefits to help me secure my housing. I fall through the cracks if CERB because of how my work decided I "quit" while I was home sick with a chest infection. I was crying regularly at work to my highest superior about how it wasn't fair I couldn't stay home sick. I have been off work for almost two months now and I'm feeling healthy again. I have the time and energy to clean my home and keep up with my personal hygiene, things I struggled with while working ~30hrs a week. I want to maintain this life but I am facing homelessness again and I have to decide what I'm going to do because I do have the excess capital for securing a new home with a damage & pet deposit and first months rent. I've been priced out if my local rental market to the point where I find it more financially feasible for me to liquidate my belongings and move to Vancouver, notorious for the lack of housing, because I have been priced out by vacation rentals on Vancouver island. I want to go back to school, I want to get on with my life. I want to use my film education to contribute to "breadtube" but I do not have the energy for this along with the physical toll PTSD has taken on my body. Thank you for this video, it's what I needed today to know I'm not alone in this struggle
Social distancing is really great ! I love it. No stress. Everything gets slower,so do people's lives and the environment has time to breath.
I have exactly the same thing with the bodypains, and with the fatigue in the morning and the opposite in the evening. My stresslevel, as yours, is the opposite of what my doctor called normal.
I won't talk open about the rest of my problems in a public forum.
I am really thankful for your bravery and that you share your story with us. It inspired me and gives me strength. Thank you!
I am a Communist for19 years now(im34) and I discovered the connection between capitalism and mental illness, capitalism and how our spiritual,mental and love-live is also created from the underlying societal conditions very early on. I was 17 years when I discovered Wilhelm Reich and Erich Fromm. And their works helped me understand. Both of them stress that therapy and medicine are a good thing sometimes, but never enough and that society and the economic basis has to change to really help people like us.
And we are many!
They also stress that socialism is very important for people's health.
I recommend the Marxist students of Freud, like Wilhelm Reich and Erich Fromm. Even though they are not ML,like I mostly view my "ideology ", they contribute very much to Marxism,because they contribute to a section,that was not really looked at before, even though I think that Marx's theory of alienation leads directly to that.
Also everything you said about Covid-19 and the "stimulus package"was spot on.
I really wish you all the best and that you get better!
You do great work Mexie! Every single of your videos is great! I would never have thought, that you had that kind of problems.
Keep up the good work comrade!
SOLIDARITY FOREVER!☆
this is without a doubt one of the best channels on youtube. every video is better than the last. the bit about coming to terms with yourself as a disabled person within capitalism that cannot perform at the level expected of them really resonates with me. i burned myself out in grad school and never really recovered, and feel like i'm just barely pulling myself through my early 30s. i think of all the friends, family members, mentors and teachers i've disappointed and what a loser i've become, when i had so much hope and promise for "great" things.
Spoon Theory is cool, though there are some disagreements about who's 'entitled' to use it that I don't feel qualified to wade into. Luckily, I'm a huge nerd, so I much prefer thinking of them as 'spell slots' anyway. We all know doing the washing is at least a 3rd level spell!
Thankfully my mother is a powerful wizard and taught me all the spells needed to do chores.
How does the spell idea work? I'm intrigued
Theory isnt something you are entitled to use or not. Insofar as you are left, it is one of your two primary obligations (the other being organizing). So to think someone wants to play "who is or is not entitled to this" is the truly pathetic thing. Be suspicious of those friends. They probably get off to exclusion. On the other hand, I've been in the position of a person whose roommate quit his job and school to live off his parents while experimenting with drugs, being loud and messy late into the night, and then blaming that on depression if we talked to him about how this way of being was fucking with our sleep schedule (we/our because another working class roommate was also having her sleep schedule fucked by this). So this person would blast the TV until 3am when we were waking up hella early to work and go to school, while his parents paid his rent so he could blame it on depression. So yeah, I get how some people use spoon theory as a copout sometimes. Most disabled people don't. Vaush called saying he needs to study theory "ablist" because he has ADHD-so you know it's a copout for some people.
Everyone has a set amount of spoons, some of us just have less than others. Literally anyone could find spoon theory useful. Someone telling you they don't have enough spoons left today to meet with you just means they don't have the energy, and you should probably respect that whether they're disabled or not. I don't get this whole "cop out" thing; when someone tells me they're unable to do something, I believe them. If they prove over time to be a liar and shitty person in general, I just don't work with them or hang out with them anymore as long as I can feasibly avoid it.
When you worry about people abusing diagnoses and spoons to get away with things, you run the risk of invalidating or even depriving a truly disabled person from what they really need. People cannot see that I'm disabled and like Mexie they don't even think my disorders are real. I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome and fibromyalgia. Most days I am in an immense amount of pain though you cannot tell by looking at me. Many, many people think I abuse my condition to get out of things. I am literally disabled though... So fuck them. I am just hoping I can swing some part time work from home long enough that I can eventually apply for disability, because I can hardly get a good night's sleep, get dressed, and do house chores, without being unable to walk by the end of it.
@@MadeleineSwannSurreal in Dungeons and Dragons wizards have to prepare spells hours before they cast them, the capacity to cast spells is measured in spell slots. Each slot has a level, to prepare a spell you need a spell slot of equal or higher level. You get more spell slots of higher levels as you gain experience and level up. In this metaphor, people have a certain number of "spell slots" (time/energy, spoons) that they can use to "cast"(do) "spells"(work) of a certain "level"(difficulty). You can check out the 5th Edition Free Players Handbook for the official explanation.
love too kill myself for stonks
Seriously, this was a very important and powerful video to me. I am incredibly privileged, like I tick all the boxes, so I almost feel like being empathetic and not being too lazy to read books is the only thing that saved me from shitty politics. But something really clicked with me that Matt Christman said once (no Chapo struggle session please, you can dislike the podcast it doesn't matter, but Matt is my sweet boy)
anyway he said that he sort of was always drawn to leftism because he had an issue with his leg which made him walk with a limp and have chronic pain issues. He talked about how that made him realise how much we rely on each other, how much each of us is indebted to the other in ways that we can't even imagine just for our very existence. All that really connected with me at the time.
This video really reminded me of that and made me realise that we are all obligated on a fundamental level to take care of each other and make sure that hopefully, sometime, we can be vulnerable.
and get some sleep
Shingles is horrible! When I was a teenager, my stress levels eventually led to a suppressed immune system and I got shingles, which led to lasting nerve damage and chronic pain (post herpetic neuralgia). For many years I was in horrible pain that I was constantly told would never get better, I ended up dropping out of school, had a suicide attempt, and got addicted to painkillers and benzos. My experiences with the US medical system were absolutely horrible, from being treated like less than a person for being addicted to narcotics to being lied about my medicine and getting addicted to xanax as a result. When I was in constant pain I was so exhausted all the time, and did nothing, didnt go out or hang out or do school stuff. Thankfully the pain is gone now, and I'm sober, but it's been hard to get back into things after being so exhausted for so long. I do have a weakened immune system as a result of the shingles, and I have a bad respiratory tract because of a fire I was in when I was younger, so I am at higher risk for covid 19. Thankfully my job laid me off so I can get unemployment benefits (I say thankfully because I was going to quit over harassment related to being trans which would have made it so I wouldn't get unemployment). I was working on starting a renters union a year ago but on top of rebounding from chronic illness I was starting my transition and decided to focus on myself and my mental health, and I've been kicking myself because my neighbors have been evicted and a renters union would be so helpful during this crisis
My close friend has MG, she has delt with the US medical system her whole life. Currently she is having to ration her medicine and isn't able to get plasma exchange surgery because she can technically survive without it, so as a result of both those those things she is unable to really use her arms or legs because the lack of energy from not having plasma and muscle weakness from only using her medicine when she can't breathe anymore. She is also VERY immunocompromised because she is on chemo, so she has told her family not to call an ambulance unless they are unable to revive her at home. Her experiences with the medical system have been awful, with too many incidents to count. Many of them are not being taken seriously when she's been literally dying, being kicked out of her chemotherapy program because she was given an opiate during an emergency surgery so the doctor thought she was a junkie, along with so many other things. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical debt, and she can't even marry her husband with whom she has a baby because it would take away her disability benefits. She gets a lot of shit from people for having to cancel plans due to her symptoms and exhaustion
I have another friend who is also immunocompromised and has diabetes and autism and some other things that cause her to be unable to eat or have any energy, and she is desperately trying to get through her major. Her mother got furious when she said she was thinking about getting a service animal and looking into benefits based on that because she hasn't been able to hold a job as a result of her disabilities. Her friends also give her a lot of shit for not being able to do things like go hiking with them and go on road trips and things
My friends who I mentioned and my gf who is bipolar use the "spoons" thing, it works really well. A lot of the things you talk about are very familiar, I've talked a lot with them about how they're afraid of being sacrificed for the economy and how people are just okay with "non contributing" people dying. Even without covid 19, that is by far the most acceptable form of genocide apologism out there. I'm glad you made this video as always. Also I appreciate the resources you linked
I'm so sorry to hear all of this. yes, everything would be way worse for me dealing with a privatized health care system!! I should've mentioned that in the video. sending love and solidarity
@@Mexie we're staying strong! Despite all that stuff and plenty of other horrible problems we manage to find happiness and be there for each other. Disabled people really know the value of things like support networks and leftist policies, and the covid 19 crisis has made apparent how important things like that are to everyone. So it's not all bad!
Thank you for talking about all that stress can do to you from a personal experience. My senior year of college I overworked myself (senior year of college, full courseload, 20 hour/week job, 40 hour/week internship working on the US midterm elections in a red state) to the point where I was always sick and in pain to the point where I had to miss school and work sooo much that my grades suffered, which never happened to me before, even when I was at the peak of my depression. it got to the point where, turns out, my immune system basically died and I got a very bad infection that is only ever seen in the very young, very old, or very immuno-compromised. i ignored the symptoms of said illness for weeks because I thought it would go away and i decided to just keep working. my mom saw the rash on my body and (because it was late at night) she made my brother drive me to urgent care, and that was how I got diagnosed just before I got septic. i still worked as normal while I was healing, but luckily the semester ended soon after and i spent the whole winter break- nearly a month- on bedrest.
i got lucky. my body healed. but the fact is, i have to be careful from now on, and i'm always tired. but my immune system, after over a year, seems to be back to normal? but that stress that i was "supposed" to be doing, that i felt like everyone around me was doing, was literally killing me. even now i'm nervous to start working a job in the field i graduated from because i'm worried i'll be overworked to the point where i'll get sick again, especially because a lot of the work i want to do is in the nonprofit sector.
thank you.
that and i have issues with mental illness and while i largely have it managed right now, i'm still afraid to say "i am disabled" on job applications because i have the privilege of being able to hide it, even though that isn't quite true.
Not for nothing, many estimates of the workload in hunter gatherer societies is around 20 hours.
Unfortunately, global capitalism is seeing to it that those societies are fast disappearing.
Even preindustrial agriculture societies have peak work periods and then off seasons where people can relax and enjoy each other's company. Children can play in the fields as adults work etc. We are in a toxic world order where everyone is on a constant treadmill for the system.
My face was paralyzed for a few days just the same as yours on one half. When I showed my mother my half smile, she thought I was just messing with her lol
And yeah I couldn't close my eye, so I had to hold it shut with my finger.
Absolutely true! If ‘EVIL’ can be used to describe anything, it would be Capitalism. Capitalism has outlived its usefulness.
Thank you, Mexie! 💖 I've been on disability here in the US for a few years, with the hope of getting off of it, not because I think there's anything wrong with being on it, but because I worry constantly that the Republicans will rip it away from me. Thankfully my limit of what I can earn before the clawback is about $1200, which is far more reasonable than in Toronto. And it's all the more infuriating after realizing in recent years that the only reason thousands of people die from starvation every year is because assholes like Bezos choose not to feed them. There's more than enough of all the stuff for everyone to have a decent life even if all of us only worked 10-20 hours a week (those of us who can work in traditional physical jobs).
Omg your videos are so thought provoking. Best wishes with your health and endeavours.
I had to start working from home about a year ago. In part because I decided to place resources and spoons into a job a cared about, but I mostly chose to work from home for my mental and physical health. This meant no longer working in a field I went to school for and am still paying off. This meant taking a giant pay cut and living to pay off the bare minimum. I have no extra money for spending and mostly rely on my partner for food and cleaning supplies. I no longer have money for health insurance. But because I am no longer subjected to the stress of my former work, I do not need nearly as much medical attention as I did before. Thank you for making this video.
I totally understand the frustration with having an invisible illness. Having a variety of mental health issues myself, borderline personality disorder being the big bitch, canceling plans or dates or anything out of fear or anxiety or me just having a really bad day with it all, it's really hard to explain to people? And its especially frustrating because even if they know what you're dealing with daily, sometimes they start to blame you or get mad at you for struggling.
I remember seeing a thing about how a cold is short term and people understand you're sick and give you a break. But if it turns into pneumonia people get worried and but understand. What if that pneumonia leaves you with permanent lung damage and pain? In the long term people's willingness to understand will evaporate and get frustrated with you and not understand the long term invisible health issues and think you're faking it or to just get over it.
Invisible health issues feel like such a burden sometimes
YES, I love that analogy with the cold and pneumonia. My ex partner completely stopped empathizing with my pain after a while and if I would not want to go out or stay out somewhere where I knew I would be uncomfortable and in pain he'd say things like "okay but you're always in pain tho, so what's the difference?". Definitely felt like a burden and like I wasn't believed. And yeah it's always hard to explain to friends.
Love you lots lady!!
I was perfectly able bodied until I went to college and drank myself and took antibiotics into Crohn’s disease at age 19. I’ve been disabled ever since because my body doesn’t respond to biologics because they think I have MCAS, which is just a glorified way for saying I’m allergic to most things.
I eat basically just plain white rice, broccoli and chicken. I also supplement with elemental diet through my permanent PEG tube. No sugar ever, no wheat, no dairy.
I still feel weird calling myself disabled because I don’t _feel_ disabled until I do, which is after like four-five hours of “active living.”
It’s weird to think how much I hinged my self worth to my ability to be productive. . It took a lot of reprogramming, but my illness actually made me a better person. As much as I wish it would go away now, I wouldn’t go back and change it
I have brain fog rn but thank you for making this video. Disabled people are begging for our lives in this pandemic. People need to understand that the human experience is defined by disability, fluidity, and diversity and we deserve to survive without the condition that we perform labor.
I have morbid obesity, alongside depression and anxiety. I never managed to do exercices, i simply couldn't, i felt like my heart would explode and felt like everyone was looking at me. People aways belived that i was just one of those basement dwellers and my obesity was "a self inflicted body mutilation, done because of morally bankrupt personality".
Quarantine has begun. After 1 week i was walking around the backyard, and using improvised weights to train my muscles. My mother didn't understood what fuck was going on, and i explained that "right now i don't feel the weight of expectations, i finally doing because i feel energized".
Since 10 i was considered "fat", i tried so many times before to do this, and finally, when everyhing stops and this fucking thirst for efficiency ends, i finally enjoy moving around. And i firmly belive it's not a coincidence.
YES OMG the way we do work is so inaccessible to so many disabled people. I was at a disability event and someone said "I'd love to work, but my condition varies day by day so I would be absent too much bc I can't schedule with it," and I felt that. Like, capitalism and behaviorism say that people will only do things with some kind of "economic" or extraneous incentive, but that's not true- people like to be helpful, people like to contribute and do labor they aren't alienated from. But when you can't do the 40+ hours of work for others to get richer, they say your life just doesn't matter and/or you just aren't trying enough, blah blah. And some people can't really enjoy life because ALL of their spoons go towards their job and needs and there's no spoons left for anything else.
And now with covid, with people being forced to stay inside all the time and unable to live their lives to the fullest, I want a serious apology from all of the people who would assume I was faking for staying home, as if I wanted to be excruciatingly lonely and miss out on everything. It's not fun.
Lots of us disabled leftist creators are working on building up that side of "lefttube-" we have a discord (although I know you said you can't really do discord, which is ok!) and this video has inspired a whole bunch of us! Thank you for talking about this and being open
Going onto 32 years of chronic pain caught from work... on some computer/machine.
I sure can understand how you feel in this society.
I wish I could help translating sub-titles to French, but I can barely type for more than a few minutes. I even gave up my blog, although I have hope of writing on it again some day.
Take care and *Thank You for telling the Truth* . I 1st got to your channel after doing a search for Climate. Thanks also for caring.
I'm so sorry you had to give up on your blog, I can't stand that everything is done on the computer and there aren't enough accessibility supports for people whose bodies don't do well with this! Solidarity, wishing you all the best
@@Mexie I read, watch and listen to lots about climate (and the sad state of the environment) since 2012, but many other topics too. I came up with this one day: "Profit is the deadliest of addiction".
Yes, it is an addiction much like compulsive gambling.
We humans can turn anything into an addiction, even exercising. I think it's one of our fundamental traits.
Oh, and I wanted to share this *What BIG OIL knew about climate change since the 1950s…*
ruclips.net/video/4363ms4ogww/видео.html
I have struggled with mental health for half of my life, since I was 11. It has always kept me from being able to perform at 100%, but ever since I reached the age where I'm supposed to be "productive" economically it has been especially hard. I can never keep up with the amount of work I'm given, even if it's less than others have. I am constantly exhausted, to the point where all I can do in my "free" time is sleep. Nervous breakdowns happen often. When I have a job, I just become unable to take care of myself in the most basic ways, even things like showering become too exhausting. I am in a privileged position because at 22 I still live with my parents and they take care of me in various ways. But I fear what will happen when that's not an option anymore, when I'm all on my own. I fear I will be left to d1e in a ditch. Thank you for speaking up about your health. For so much of my life I have been angry and frustrated with myself and my body for not being able to function like healthy people. But that's not productive. Realizing what role exactly capitalism takes in my condition at least helped me be kinder to myself and regain some of my confidence. Even with my chronic disorder, I am a valuable human being, even if I'm not valuable as a tool of accumulating capital.
Thank you. I'm sick of the attitude that a person is not worthy of existence if they can't be "productive". I'm currently at a point in my life where I have long lost practically any ability to "work" due to mental issues, and it breaks my heart how even the people closest to me are thinking of me as a "burden" (sometimes even literally saying that).
I strongly identified with your description of having so much to give to the world, but having most of my productivity blocked because it doesn't serve capital, but rather (god forbid) the collective good. It's surreal how brainwashed people are to believe you deserve to be homeless or starve to death if you can't be exploited for money.
I want to believe society is waking up, but it seems to be moving extremely slowly. Like pushing the snooze button again and again until it's too late. WAKE UP! PLEASE!
True story! 💕 I was hit by MS. After a lifetime of work in the tech industry, I can now only work 1/4 time. I still work, but am capped on how much I can make because otherwise I will be cut off health care... which I need for my MS treatments. I will live in poverty for the rest of my life. And I'm one of the lucky ones because my state provides decent health care for those in poverty. Not all with disability have that.
You have my sympathy for what you're going through. It's so difficult when you have goals and ambitions, when you want to be a hard working person and be productive, and your body or mind won't cooperate. My field puts a lot of emphasis on rapid, consistent output of novel research - I feel like I'm in a constant race to keep up with new literature being published and develop new technology or find new results. I love what I do, and I want to produce meaningful work, but I run myself into the ground over and over again.
The messed up thing is that I know others (through online communities) with the same condition as me, and most of them are unemployed and unable to keep up with hobbies and a social life. Objectively, I know I should feel proud of myself for coping with a chronic illness with a terrible prognosis for over a decade, while becoming educated and successful in a system that's been rigged against me since day one. But every day I feel weak, guilty, disappointed in myself, and exhausted. I feel like I'm failing my colleagues and supervisors and constantly question whether I'm cut out for my career, and whether being successful will end up killing me. I should have to choose between living a long life and pursuing my dreams. That's fucked up.
I feel a lot of that experience so deeply.
[Warning, wall of text incoming]
I have autism and (pretty bad) asthma. So I'm physically and mentally disabled, and both are invisible to your common person.
I've never actually had a proper job, because potential employers tend to tell me that employing someone with my health is "too much of a financial risk", because I'd miss too many hours.
And sadly, I'd have to agree with them. Even in school, I was sick a lot. Not just my asthma acting up (believe me, waking up at 4am because you notice you're suffocating, having to set up an inhalation machine, and taking over an hour until you can properly breathe again puts you in no state to work the next day), but also stress. Due to my autism, having to interact with people...well, with basically anyone who isn't in my circle of friends, is highly stressful to me and tends to be a mental strain. I can deal with social situations without having a meltdown, but I'm fucking exhausted afterwards.
Which, no surprise there, heightened stress also makes the asthma act up more.
The one time I had something akin to a job was actually a three month on-the-job training program specifically for using IT and graphics design programs.
I was sick two of those three months. In fact, while straining myself to actually go to work during that time, I ended up catching a pneumonia and permanently damaging my lungs even more.
And somehow, people seem to think this whole situation is somehow my fault. I can't tell you how often I've told this story to friends and heard things like "you'll get a job if you try hard enough" or something - as if a job is somehow this great price that you want to work hard to achieve, and not something that you need to survive in our society.
I'm currently in university, studying education, in the hopes that getting better qualification might lead me to having a job one day (and because education allows me to interact with people in ways that aren't that stressful to me - I'm actually quite good at explaining things)...
But so far, the only thing this has led to is me having to sue our government because they cut my social support money and I've been without income for a year.
So...yeah. It's great to have someone talk about something like this for once.
Thanks for sharing, this was eye opening! I’m extremely privileged during this time and very much enjoying a break from work. A 40hr work week is too much for most people, I can’t imagine having a chronic illness on top of the regular stress of hustle culture! I’m joining your Patreon 💗
Also, Canada may seem great compared to the US, but those qualifications for disability benefits are shockingly inhumane!
I'm fairly new to your Channel, I saw you on a beau of the fifth column video and wanted to check it out and I got to say I love the content of your videos. This is wholesome, substantive talks on topics that don't get much attention. I appreciate it, thanks.
So, funny thing. Every few months, I search videos to find info about chronic illness and capitalism, usually with little results.
Like you, I was born able-bodied and developed significant disability, and like you, it's challenged the way I think about the world. A huge part of that is questioning capitalism, the cult of productivity, the state of things as they are, and trying to think of solutions to bridge this enormous dissonance.
Looking back, I wonder - would I have ever gotten sick and eventually disabled? - had I not been taught to push my body to the extreme, to continually borrow my present energy for the future even as it broke me down, to live without stable/regular medical care, without community/supportive care, to accept these things as normal (and even moral and good).
To collectively create and encourage a culture of burnout for the short term profit for a small minority is madness. It takes enormous effort (and often luck, and privilege) to opt out; not everyone can. Instead we live under conditions that are sure to bring out illness and then essentially punish illness (by devaluing what a person CAN do, and impairing their ability to climb out of the cycle) instead of seeing it as an inevitable result.
I'm delighted to see you speak about this, and I hope you dig in deeper at many angles. (When you have the spoons!)
Every now and then I come back to this video to remind myself that the way we function is not actually healthy and I'm not the only one who feels crushed by capitalist hustle culture.
Mental health isn't profitable enough to treat ); eat the rich
Your vids are so good. So informative and always engaging the material at intersections we often don't see. Glad to subscribe
It is all the same thing. It is us and our disconnectedness from each other and the natural world. Our economic enterprise is a high speed train with no destination in mind save the wealth that can be extracted along the way. It consumes without provision for the future or consequence for the resources upon which it depends.
Hearing your voice and seeing your face brightened my day and I hope you continue to recover to a new normal with greater strength to resist the slow sacrifice of your human resource to the relentless conversion of the human lives of the many to support the fantasies of the few.
i'm so glad you're recovering! ❤️ i don't have much to add but just wanted to say thank you for this video, it was cathartic to watch.
Thank you so much for this video. It means a lot that you have shared your story and to see this discussed.
As someone who has been very fortunate with flexible jobs, I completely relate to how impossible it is to regularly have that kind of output. This is so helpful to have this to share and cathartic to relate even if our issues are different in many ways.
(Also so glad to see Spoon Theory mentioned!)
Wish you lots of healing Mexie, and thank you for sharing. I have been a fan for a year and your videos have been with me through tough times of illness and disillusionment, as companions, teachers and comrades 💜
"[...] and if you won't take your frEEdom [cracks up] [...]"
That moment genuinely made me burst out laughing. Brilliant video!
You're doing such a service in this video I would be surprised if many of your viewers cannot relate, I most certainly can. I think it is very common for activist (and other people) to get to that state because so much of our empathy is directed outward without a corresponding amount directed inward.
Sending love and positive vibes
Just as I was about to mention "time energy" is being described as the spoon theory, you demonstrate it. ☺️ Very glad. It makes more sense when explaining to others who have trouble wrapping their minds around certain disabilities & invisible disabilities. This is the first video I've watched of yours & you hit the nail on the head. I feel your struggles. Most people don't know that if you have an autoimmune condition, you have multiple health issues. 😣
Props to you for speaking out. I have cerebal palsy and am terrified, but I'm privileged that I'm in the UK (free healthcare - yay??) and am financially stable. Most people dying from this are the disabled, yet it's not being reported anywhere in the mainstream news. I'm really new to communism - just a few months in after a 'fling' with the alt-right - and I've never felt so powerless and small in my entire life. I feel for those who are obligated to work at this time. It shouldn't be this way. I feel sickened and worthless. I don't know how to deal with this new reality - I'm emotionally numb. Coming to terms with Capitalist ableism and everything else Capitalism creates feels impossible to come to terms with and accept after 30 years of ignorance.
I can very much relate to what you are sharing here. Thanks for being vulnerable and allowing those of us listening to learn and relate through your openness. Chronic illness caused by stress is a huge issue and, "Self care," is a tricky subject under capitalist modernity. Thank you for this video!
I can totally relate to this. I have worked two jobs everyday for over 3 years just to provide basic needs for my family. I’m always exhausted and have ocular migraines at least twice a month which last for hours when they do occur. I can never stay up past 10:00 PM even if I somehow get the next day off for whatever reason. On my few days off that I get from time to time, all I want to do is lay in bed and sleep. I now have carpal tunnel in both hands and I’m only 31. I just feel dead inside.
Hey Mexie! It was quite hard to watch this video. It was genuinely upsetting to hear how much you needlessly suffered. However, I want to thank you soo much for all fantastic content you have produced. You are fantastic at explaining the deep and complex issues the economics of capitalism which has made me a far more wise and competent comrade! And now I know what it takes for you to make this channel I say you should be more than proud. You are valued and respected and loved and I hope this community always makes you feel this way. Please keep taking all the rest and time you need. You're mental and physical health is soo important too us! I hope we can collectively build a better would this decade for me and for you!
Thank you for sharing your story
Solidarity Forever X
Can't wait till the next video which will raise my WOKE level to over 9000
Also, in case you need to hear this, what you are doing is awesome and it is more than good enough. Thank you for sharing your story and analysis.
I appreciate that!
I struggle with really bad social anxiety and toxic toughts. I visitedy friends over the summer and went to the city after a time just walking around and being social I was so stressed that I really couldnt fake it anymore. My friend kind just took me to the side and asked of I needed some time for myself. I almost cried because I have never ever had anyone ask me that and yeah that was exactly what I needed. I put on headset and bought a book and then just sat on a bench for an hour. After i met with them feeling much better. Mostly people just get offended that I no longer seem as engaged with them, so this was a special moment for me. I love my friends and talking to other people but it is so exhausting so I cannot explain how greatful I was for that kind of compassion
Stress is an activator for a whoooole lot of disorders. It is not surprising that I developed a disorder, but it was not foreordained either. I pushed myself extremely hard getting my bachelor's, to the point where I knew I was injuring myself. As a result I've developed extreme depression and sleep disorders which I have spent all of the time since then recovering from.
Capitalism really does not give a shit about disabled people and it would just as soon leave them to die. I have only been able to make it this far because of love and support from my family and friends. Every institution that I could have relied on for assistance has, far from trying to accommodate me, tried to penalize me for my disability instead. It's literally sickening.
OMG thanks so much for this video! It's the first time I encounter those same arguments about welfare and disability checks I tell people about all the time being shared on a platform that actually reaches people
I will try to share this strategically, because I don't know how this could be made shorter without the depth given via your personal deliberation. You did a really good job at making this relatable for people without visible disability, but equally important, 'able' people using misc band-aid to normalize a systemic disease, that makes lifetimes, made to prioritize that very limited existence, into making it less than living.
I watch/listen to your channel for overview of issues that are understandably not within the sphere of most people's lives, but affect them regardless.
It's painful no matter whom, but frustrating beyond expression when it's those close to you that are caught in the snare.
Thank you for being you.
I'm autistic in Denmark... It took me years to get approved for it, but I've received the option to work around 20 hours a week and get supplemental income from the government so I get a living wage. I don't know how people survive disability in places like the US.
I'm active duty US military and because of my job, volume of workers, and work sharing. I work only one day and then I'm off the next three days after that, rinse and repeat. It's a pretty legit work schedule. We should definitely make this more of a thing in society. I dont really use my days off for anything productive (drinking, sleeping, and playing Call of duty) but, I can imagine most other people would.
Ooof. You are more than enough. Your productivity doesn't determine your worth.
My partner (chronic migraines, depression, and anxiety) and I (musculoskeletal pain, depression, and PTSD) have both fought for years against the capitalist expectations that we produce constantly and drive ourselves into worse condition/death. It was so good to hear this now, and I hope you're able to find a balance within your live where you can do what you love, make a living wage, and still be able to actually enjoy your life. Solidarity to you, Mexie
It means so much to see people with a platform talking about disability. Solidarity Mexie!!
Thanks for sharing this with us. It takes a huge leap to share personal details like this (:
I'm not gonna lie, this video is something I needed to watch. Especially now with a bunch of friends telling me how I should be using the pandemic to learn new skills.
Especially because my health issues have been playing hell with me trying to do...anything.
I have hypothyroidism (with depression and anxiety as side effects) and severe, chronic fatigue that I've dealt with since...puberty. About 17 years now, actually.
I'm appreciative of the fact that I can at least work 40 hours a week(essential worker), though it pushes the limits of my energy and just utterly kills me for my days off and most of my free time after work.
Any hobbies I have get sidelined because my job, while really easy, takes up all of my energy. I can manage maybe an hour or two a day at best to dedicate to drawing or writing or learning various subjects I want to study and I hate myself so much that I can only spend so little time on it.
Funnily enough, those days of maaayyybbee being able to listen to a podcast while sitting in darkness is how I've...started getting into podcasts. Those days where even just listening to music is irritating because...any noise is intolerable when you're so, so fatigued.
I can't dedicate the time and energy to return to college for a degree I'd be interested in because it's impossible for me to juggle work and school.
I even more and more find myself only having energy to stare at a wall, doing nothing because even relaxing with a simple show, game or book takes too much energy.
And I have no support from friends and family who care, but... don't get it. They can't see that the reason I lay around so much isn't laziness but because moving in anyway way is nearly impossible sometimes.
I try to regulate it, eat as healthily as I can afford to(which isn't often), exercise when I can(which more often than not makes it worse) and try to pace myself, but when just taking an hour to do some dusting and vacuuming makes you so...dead that you literally cannot put out any more effort for the rest of the day, it's...easy to get depressed.
That coupled with severe brain fog, the fatigue hangovers that just roll over your exhaustion to the next day until you have day after day after day of getting pretty much nothing accomplished because you try to push yourself to do anything and it just makes it worse, the just...soreness that permeates your whole body more often than not because of course it just does, right?
Trying to get help from my doctor is...alright, when I can afford it. Which I can't right now. The bloodwork and tests and possibly needing to see an endocrinologist when the closest one is almost 3 hours away...
None of it helps or makes it more bearable. And the most painful is when you have loved ones who really do try to understand it, but they just can't. They try to hide it, but it's so easy to tell when someone is just dancing around asking the question "what if you're just lazy?"
This turned into more of a vent/rant than I intended. I'm going to leave it anyway, to be honest. It's just...not comforting, but makes me a little hopeful, I guess to know I'm not the only one dealing with issues like this.
And that I:m not crazy for being as tired and exhausted all the time as I am.
So sorry to hear about this. You are really wonderful and smart. Keep fighting
Oh man I have chronic IBS and so much of this is really relatable and really helpful and it's linked so expertly with bigger systems of control within our society! Thanks so much for this analysis Mexie!!!
I believe that radicalism = the politics of empathy. Empathy is the foundation that we all stand upon as radicals. Everything else we represent and stand for in our various movements and beliefs rests upon empathy for all. The disabled deserve empathy as much as anyone else who may be marginalized, and let's face it... we're all marginalized to some degree under capitalism. As a disabled man who has rarely worked and always been poor, I am pushing for a system where basic needs are not dependent upon employment and labor. Solidarity and love to those who are struggling.
Thank you for making this video. I'm so sorry that you've endured such extreme hardships. Someone I love very much has several invisible disabilities including many of the ones you have, so this video struck close for me.
My reaction while watching the start of this video was kind of fucked. When you're talking about how hard you used to work, I was like, "I'm not working as hard as Mexie was! Shame on me! I need to work harder!" Then when you say how working this hard (plus the other abuse you put your body through) is what caused your current chronic fatigue and other disabilities, I was like, "Shit, never mind." But it was not fear for my health in itself but fear of not being able to work hard anymore.
(More specifically, the fear of not being able to work hard at my RUclips channel, but still.)
Really good video, and the points you make about connecting this all to capitalism were powerful.
Thank you for all you do to make the world a better place.
this was excellent, among your best work. don't have much to add, so commenting for the algorithm.
Living on less, closer to nature with like minded friends has helped me.
Hustle culture is toxic destructive and addictive.