Duke's 401k obviously took a hit recently and I don't think those damn alien bastards have a plan to recoup what was lost because of an incoming bear market. I don't think those damn alien bastards are going to help him retire any earlier than 73 at this point or at least have the common curtesy of putting duke out of his misery before he shits himself in his adult diaper while at being the old guy greeting people at the door at Walmart.
"I've believed aliens were real my whole life, until the government said it. Now I'm not so sure." That's genuinely the best argument against the existence of aliens I've ever heard.
@fist-of-doom487 I mean its litterally impossible for us to be alone with how many billions of planets are out there. There has to be atleast one microscopic spec of bacteria somewhere in the universe
@@rayriflepie397 "Alien ladies, looking for something new and exotic? Come pick yourself up an Earthling Boytoy; just cover some live-in necessities and one can be yours today! 😘" **Giant lobster takes up the offer** 🤣
You got to give Andrey Avkhimovich credit for keep trying to play grab bag. Not many people would have had the patience or the diligence to keep up with Dukes speech
Admittedly, one is much easier to notice than the other. Little space guys don’t exactly just go away when they crash from space. People without healthcare, on the other hand, die eventually.
A comparison i've seen in other videos: everytime the government talks about UFOs to cover for their shortcomings, it feels *EXACTLY* like Overwatch revealing a character is nonbibary to cover for their scandals.
I like to think Duke is giving a speech to a crowd, and a band is in the background trying to add to his one liners, but every time they think he's done, he keeps talking and they stop playing and look at eachother confusedly
I mean, the president did try to have him killed and start an intergalactic empire with the aliens so he's fully justified in believing the government is corrupt...
there's a reason we've become so strong. and it defintley wasnt through fair play. not saying i like the corruption. i hate it. i have to live in the world that looks like its gonna fall apart if something doesnt go its way. but its gonna take a whole hell of a lot to change the government. and i dont really even know if protests do much anymore. I dont think they even give a fraction of a shit about them anymore.
Government: *probably testing a bunch of illegal experiments violating human rights, also probably testing a bunch of illegal weaponry. Average people: "Hey! what you're doing and hiding from us is really suspicious!" Government: "Oh no..." Average people: "We know it's Aliens!" Government: *breaths sigh of relief* "Oh no, you found us out. It's aliens guys! It's totally aliens, you got us: oh no the message is out: whatever shall we do?"
They literally unveiled "alien corpses" this week and we are like "yeah ok, this is clearly a distraction from you attempting to impose yet more control upon us"
Really just throw a bone out of left field; some psychic cuttlefish riding a platinum meteor buys out humanity, and although we still might need to work part time is enough or something.
whats funny is the dude who showed the mexican government the "alien corpses" is literally well-known for being a troll. those alien bodies were already debunked in like 2013 he made them himself
I think the most masterful part of this is how his theme music keeps trying to cut in like “Ok Duke, that’s enough social commentary” and Duke just refuses to let himself be interrupted.
Social commentary. The fact that this concept exist is the summary of everything wrong today. A bunch of assholes made it so that its basically bad manners and controversial to talk about the problems in society, probably since they figured otu that the first step in fixing a problem is talking about it.
I like to imagine that there’s just the whole band on the sidelines, thinking that he’s done every time, but then immediately stopping once he starts again. “You can keep your alien bastards. I got work in the morning.” Duke sighs and leaves the studio. The band look at each other in confusion as the lights go out, until they finally decide to finish what they started, topping of the guitar riff.
@@johnx140 i wanted to reply with something, but then i realized i'd be meta commentating on how awful of a person i am because of not getting enough attention as a kid. and also trying to satisfy my never-ending, gluttonous hunger for attention. tbh even this could be seen as a thing that i do to try and satisfy my greed. i should just stop talking.
_”I’ve believed aliens are real my whole life - until the government said it. Now I’m not so sure.”_ I’ve never related to a statement harder than this.
I agree. I always thought there was some kind of extraterrestrial life. And now that the Government decides to say it now, in a time of such great instability, I'm starting to believe more and more that space is dead.
@@invurret9533 Honestly that’s probably for the best. Even if aliens existed, they’d probably be incomprehensible hell creatures and some kind of war would be inevitable. The point is that you’re not getting a xeno-gf and even if you did the then necessary unification of mankind will effectively make each of us even more disposable than we already are. Frankly we got enough issues to figure out down here, we don’t need xenos running around.
Imagine Duke delivering this like a press conference to a crowd of people excited about the aliens, walking offstage at the end after throwing down the microphone, an awkward guilt ridden pause, then Megadeth playing the song Duke kept cutting off
Christ this is just too real. I still live with my mom in a broken ass housing market and a broken ass job market with my broken ass autistic brain and my broken ass dysfunctional family. It's hard, man. _sick guitar riff_
Believe in aliens until the government tells you that they are real is too relatable. Obviously, they needed to pull out the biggest distraction to distract from the fact that everything is falling apart.
THE GOVERNMENT SAID NOTHING FFS WHY DOES NO-ONE THINK FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES ABOUT THIS?!?!?! IT WAS ONE GUY! ONE FUCKING GUY! WITH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVIDENCE!!!!!! THERE ARE NO FUCKING ALIENS!!! sorry had to get that off my chest
(More specifically so they can build even more sophisticated technology to go try and pummel China to keep their rate of profit up bc capitalism is just that twisted lmao)
There's definitely a few ways to look at it. Like obviously intelligent life other than humans is real. There's millions of planets so that's not hard to believe anymore. What if aliens life does want to help? In reality this bombshell really does have an impact on the world except it's far greater than just the world. It'll impact the future of humanity in the long-run and this is a step towards that. Earth plays such a small role in the grand scheme of things and it's exciting that the universe is so much more vast than we first thought. The solution to all these issues that we perceive as big could be found out there.
It's not wrong though. Even if it was 100% confirmed that we have encountered aliens, it's not gonna change a single thing about people needing to put food on the table.
Ironically, if Duke gets theoretically payed for his appearances in the games, then that’s exactly what they do. Then again, he hasn’t gotten a role since Forever. Maybe not.
You know, thats a good question. Even if the evidence was irrefutable, if they had a corpse or even a live alien, could I even begin to care? Would life change for the better? Or would I still just go to work and go on like normal?
No matter what, things will not change. Things will never get better. They have been going downhill for over 40 years now and show no signs of stopping, only getting even worse. The power balance is completely one sided. We are all trapped in this "life". The only way out is to eat the rich and powerful. Even then, they would simply be replaced by more awful people. For every 1 good person, there are 100 or more awful people. We are completely doomed, and politics is the only option we have for "change".
@@Burnabyboy keep talking about the 'good' and 'bad' people as if those two words were even remotely objective. Reason we're in such deep shit is because plenty of people think they know who's good and who's bad and try to act on it.
@@Burnabyboyhonestly humanity has been in deeper shit before, we will be fine Edit: As for the OP, things will probably not change much anytime soon other than the fact that we know for certain that there was or still is life out there. I mean, many discoveries mankind made were pretty much useless and didn't change a thing until we got to the point that those things would matter.
God, this is just so real. Like, it starts, "ah cool another duke meme" but he cuts off the music with a fact and its got a bit of comedy, but he keeps doing it and its just so hard hitting, and now its not cutting the music to have comedy but to just shut it up. And then of course it starts right as the video ends, while these facts are serious and real, and duke seems really human throughout this, thats still there for the fact that this is just a video and we still need some light-hearted enjoyment in this depressing reality.
Duke Nukem is what every 90's boy wanted to be growing up. This video is what we actually are. A truly magnificent breakdown of childhood expectations versus adult reality, this is the most moving art piece I've ever seen.
The sad thing is, the Senate has already started working on an Act meant to collect and declassify all kinds of records that it might have on UAPs. It's an amendment to another act that's all about- you guessed it- Increasing military funding
"We can't keep funding the military, the trans people still haven't declared war dammit WE DON'T HAVE AN ENEMY" "...what about... aliens?" It really feels like the US is struggling to justify it's military spending even to itself for decades so by now they're really just inventing new enemies. Apparently they now ran out of countries to invade?
Glad Congress is working on important things like bombing irrelevant countries and investigating fake aliens. I mean what else should they focus on, the worsening climate? The god awful infrastructure? Affordable healthcare?
“I gotta tell ya, I’ve believed aliens are real my whole life. Now that the governments said it, I’m not so sure” Duke continues his uninterrupted run as most based man in history
Doesn't really matter if they're real or not. Even if I personally say they are, aliens aren't going to help with my rent or crippling debt. They're not going to kidnap me either, so why should I care about 'em?
@@RehtealWhether or not they know where we live and their response to that will be a large factor in whether or not our future looks like Trek, or 40k in our approach to dealing with them.
or rather we knew they existed(ofc we are not alone in this vast universe), but no one really cares bc it changes nothing. it's not like you can personally speak to them or anything.
@@SheepUndefineddon’t wanna pay rent??? bank says you can’t pay a mortgage??? start a business!1!!1 buy my course for $999.99 a month to see how!!1!!1 *(we need to crush capitalism before it kills everything)*
The music repeatedly getting interrupted by Duke's nihilistic viewpoints followed by it just giving up and then finally playing for a split second at the end sends me.
« You can keep your damn alien bastards. I got work in the morning.. » This made me feel.. sad. That’s really unexpected. No matter how funny this video is, it resonates with most of us. Either because we relate to it or know that many live in this situation.
Unironically this. I've been seeing the same sentiment on Twitter, Reddit, and on some parts of 4chan, and it can be summed up as "aliens are fake and the US government is only saying they are to distract the populace and to justify increasing military spending," it's absolutely wild.
"Non human biological material recovered from a UFO" A pelican flies into a drone or weather balloon and it crashes. They can't identify what kind of drone or balloon it is. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO. A dog or other primate is used as a test passenger in a foreign experimental rocket, as has been done many times before, and it crashes on US Soil. US military doesn't know what kind of rocket it is. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO An crow flies into a jet engine and is pulverized. The US military can't identify what kind of animal the splattered mess that was once a flying animal is. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO. The pilot of an foriegn experimental aircraft that crashed on US soil had a roast beef sandwich on him. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO.
I mean at this point. It would honestly take a lot for people to be convinced that aliens are real. Photos, videos, and even live streams can’t be trusted. Not even word from a public official can be trusted. Aliens would have to physically come down and start fucking things up for anyone to believe lol
There are no fucking aliens, guys, omfg. This kind of thing happens all the fucking time. So called whistleblowers with exclusive information (and no evidence) have been coming out for all of the time UFOs have been a 'thing'. Keyhoe, Frank Scully, Gerald Heard, all of these former government officials coming out saying they just KNOW aliens are real, and NEVER coming forward with anything. Furthermore, if the government is so keen on silencing anyone who tells 'the truth', then WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LETTING YOU SPEAK? Honestly the media reaction to this hearing WAY more intense than it deserves.
I'm honestly glad this is how I found out about the alien thing. I would like all future life changing discoveries to be announced by Duke going through an existential crisis
This hits so much realer than I honestly expected it to. It's some mixture of harrowing and satisfactory to hear all of this--*dissatisfaction* voiced so firmly. Because I know we're all feeling it, now we just have the means to express it, all in convenient Duke Nukem form!
Isn't it wild how we used to go absolutely batshit every time something could be remotely linked to extraterrestrial activity? And now that the government's like "oh yeah, aliens are real by the way" we're just like "oh. Okay."?
It’s because the government hasn’t said that. All we have are unconfirmed claims (from interesting sources, but there is no solid proof at the moment).
And also the fact that the "confirmation" boiled down to "I can't say that. But it was real big deal. Can't say what. But it was earth-shattering. Classified information. And it was so weird."
Y'know, I have some kind of hope that these aliens are one of two kinds of beings: 1: Saiyan like conquerors who either take over the world or kill everyone, or 2: People who just come here for 5 seconds, communicate with some animals, and then dip. There's also the secret 3rd option in which we applaud as they take over, knowing their government is probably better than ours by a longshot.
Sometimes the Alien Bastards arent the crisis of a intergalactic danger that wanna take the world over .... sometimes the Alien Bastards are the people who dont understand to take their responsibilities and duties to help improve the world into better one .
"Ive believed aliens are real my whole god damn life, until the government said it" After these past couple years, I think a lot of people follow this sentiment 🤣
The US can only use the "look, aliens!" distraction so many times before the conspiracy becomes centered around trying to figure out which media controversy they're trying to bury at the given moment
I think this happens because aliens basically become animals or more advanced humans if they're real (we still need proof). Their supposed existence takes away the magic of speculation, the wondering of what they would be like, and the mysticism that surrounds them. Now they are just regular beings who sometimes compete against each other in the game of how many Air Force pilots can they give heart attacks to.
If the government kept denying they were real, people should've known they were being suspicious but too scared to say anything cause the FBI can arrive to their front door whenever If the FBI can get the Dutch police to arrest a 14 year old girl for making bomb threats to American Airlines, they sure can track you down for just talking about them
I literally hear “blow it out yer ass” in Duke’s voice every time I see some shit about aliens now, it’s so fuckin’ trite it’s unspeakably insulting that they’re even bothering.
In the words of Black Sabbath's song "Wicked World": "They can put the man on the moon quite easy, while people here on earth are dying of old diseases..." Duke also got to the moon, but "The Man" didn't help him and I say that it wasn't quite easy. Even if you're saving the planet and it's babes you're struggling on your own...
There's another song from 1970 called "Whitey on the Moon" by Gil Scott-Heron, a spoken poem said to the beat of drums that critiques the expidenture toward the moon landings while Black Americans were experiencing medical debt, high taxes, and poverty. Worth a listen.
I remember seeing a quote by some famous public intellectual (might’ve been Steven Hawking, but I’m not sure) pointing out how… interesting it is that certain governments get accused of masterminding these vast conspiracies flawlessly yet are strangely inept when it comes to actually, you know, governing.
The idea that any government, let alone America’s, can pull off *_any_* of the more popular conspiracy theories with little to no leaks, no mistakes, no political peacocking, etc. but can’t even agree on or implement a good healthcare plan is hilarious.
![DESTINY'S SCHIZO ARC - [KINO EDIT]](/img/1.gif)
"You can keep your damn alien bastards. I got work in the morning."
Damn. That shouldn't hit as hard as it does
Yeah it went from being really funny to kinda depressing there lmao
Yeh.... _ba dum_
The whole thing is a joke to me
reminds me of "I can't go to hell. I'm all out of vacation days." or whatever the actual quote is, pretty sure it's from undertale
Duke's 401k obviously took a hit recently and I don't think those damn alien bastards have a plan to recoup what was lost because of an incoming bear market. I don't think those damn alien bastards are going to help him retire any earlier than 73 at this point or at least have the common curtesy of putting duke out of his misery before he shits himself in his adult diaper while at being the old guy greeting people at the door at Walmart.
We can no longer tell where Duke begins and Gianni ends. They are becoming one.
And I still don't know where Gabriel fits in.
Duke Matragranukem.
The assimilation is almost complete
@@doozy5184and don't get me started on Columbo
Where does Duke end and Gay Synth begin?
This went from funny to the most realistic action I have ever seen to this
The Duke:
1% real talk
99% babe banging
1:16
Same
Funny
Fad
Sad
Funny
I'm having reverse feelings. Went from sad to funny idk why
"I've believed aliens were real my whole life, until the government said it. Now I'm not so sure."
That's genuinely the best argument against the existence of aliens I've ever heard.
Unironically. I still believe in aliens but if someone presented me with that argument I couldn’t argue with that
the complete lack of any evidence is more substantive than contrarianism
I believe there’s aliens, I just don’t believe our government actually found any.
@fist-of-doom487 I mean its litterally impossible for us to be alone with how many billions of planets are out there. There has to be atleast one microscopic spec of bacteria somewhere in the universe
@@collincaperton6718 I don’t think bacteria can drive a ship
"Aliens are real!"
"Are they here to enslave us or have sex with us?"
"... what? No...?"
"Then fuck off, I got work in the morning"
Honestly, I’m loving all this hearing stuff, because I know at any moment those alien waifus are gonna come take me soon WOOO!!
@@rayriflepie397 "Alien ladies, looking for something new and exotic? Come pick yourself up an Earthling Boytoy; just cover some live-in necessities and one can be yours today! 😘" **Giant lobster takes up the offer** 🤣
@@Swordofswordomhonestly I'll take giant lobster over working a 9-5
@@Swordofswordom if the comically large lobster has a great personality id hand over the business card tbh
@@Swordofswordom hummm if the gaint lobster doesn't eat me and feed me earth lobsters everyday it's a tempting offer.
I can see Duke reaching forward and grabbing the mic every time he interrupts the music
Hammers that space to pause
I imagine a band behind him stopping every time and in the end they are kinda confused
@@heyyou9137
Band: Alright, let's go for it.
Duke: Is it just...
Band: Ayo what the fuck bro!
@@heyyou9137Before proceeding to play along anway at the last second.
You got to give Andrey Avkhimovich credit for keep trying to play grab bag. Not many people would have had the patience or the diligence to keep up with Dukes speech
I love the music struggling to break in while Duke is ranting. It's like, "Please, Duke, I get it. Just let me start."
He's getting his revenge on Megadeth for not letting him grieve
You can hear severals seconds of the mixer waiting to see if the Duke is done before starting the song at the end.
Fucking loved that part of this video
But without a doubt the funniest moment is the last second of the video, when the music comes back at full force.
No, megadeth, you really don't get it. You rich boomer clowns.
"the government found little space guys, but cant find me a goddamn healthcare plan?" is a hard line
Admittedly, one is much easier to notice than the other. Little space guys don’t exactly just go away when they crash from space.
People without healthcare, on the other hand, die eventually.
That line is so raw it would give gordon ramsay a stroke
*laughs in european*
Even TF2 golden pan has bad days
That line is harder than my dick seven minutes into watching Shindlers List
I SHOWED THIS TO MY MOM WHO IS AN ALIEN BELIEVER AND SHE WAS DYING OF LAUGHTER FOR 30 SECONDS THANK YOU GIANNI FOR THIS 😭😭😭
A comparison i've seen in other videos: everytime the government talks about UFOs to cover for their shortcomings, it feels *EXACTLY* like Overwatch revealing a character is nonbibary to cover for their scandals.
"I gotta tell ya, I've believed aliens are real my whole life."
And you fought them multiple times and won.
The pigmen were actually just human police
@czarkusa2018 I know I was talking about the other enemies.
@@kodiakbear9794he thought those were the immigrant type of alien
Ye but now he wonder if they were real aliens or if it was just the drugs
Duke can fight off alien bastards but he can't fight the goddamm economy
I like to think Duke is giving a speech to a crowd, and a band is in the background trying to add to his one liners, but every time they think he's done, he keeps talking and they stop playing and look at eachother confusedly
I'm stealing this for my imagination and there's nothing you can do about it.
Duke 2024!
Duke nukem but he’s a rockerboy in cyberpunk RED
And by the end they almost look concerned for him.
Thats why it took so long to start at the end, they were making sure he wasn't going to continue
Duke being genuinely concerned about the corruption of the US government makes me smile
I mean, the president did try to have him killed and start an intergalactic empire with the aliens so he's fully justified in believing the government is corrupt...
The days of him rescuing slick Willy from those alien bastards are long over
there's a reason we've become so strong. and it defintley wasnt through fair play. not saying i like the corruption. i hate it. i have to live in the world that looks like its gonna fall apart if something doesnt go its way. but its gonna take a whole hell of a lot to change the government. and i dont really even know if protests do much anymore. I dont think they even give a fraction of a shit about them anymore.
Because it implies that any moment now he'll start blasting corrupt officials with a shotgun
Hence why he's running for president.
"I gotta tell ya, I've believed aliens are real my whole life. But now that the government says so, I'm not so sure." Fucking mood.
Government: *probably testing a bunch of illegal experiments violating human rights, also probably testing a bunch of illegal weaponry.
Average people: "Hey! what you're doing and hiding from us is really suspicious!"
Government: "Oh no..."
Average people: "We know it's Aliens!"
Government: *breaths sigh of relief* "Oh no, you found us out. It's aliens guys! It's totally aliens, you got us: oh no the message is out: whatever shall we do?"
I fucking thought so🐑👏🏾🫰🏿👆🏾🖖🏿
This comment here ☝🏿
Im going to copy this comment and spread this message
Welcome to our fortress tall
Commie bot
Grabbag trying desperately to claw through Duke's existential nightmare is a mood
(insert unoriginal comment because there's no replies even though it has 2000 likes)
@@localshowershitter702this comment is funnier than the others ngl
@@neinja66469 because it's true
@@localshowershitter702 that's the point
@@neinja66469 I meant my comment
My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be okay.
Sometimes, conspiracy theories have turned out to be real.
That’s definitely fake
@nunoosorio3832 Preach bud, couldn't have said it better myself :]
@@nunoosorio3832those are just conspiracies
Everything will work out. The world has only been getting better since forever, especially in the past 50 years. There’s no reason for it to stop.
I'm very sorry to hear about Gianni's horrible shower accident, two bullets to the back of the head. Tragic.
@@BappeTrailsa tragic suicide ☹️
Oh no he hung himself from depression.
... and we "found" buckshot in his chest...
I heard he went for a smoke on a rooftop in Moscow at 3 AM. Too bad that it rained and he slipped and fell...
@@guyincognito959Yeah. It was dry for the rest of the day. Such a tragic accident.
So horrible he had 473 petabytes of CP on a single 3.5inch drive!
They literally unveiled "alien corpses" this week and we are like "yeah ok, this is clearly a distraction from you attempting to impose yet more control upon us"
Really just throw a bone out of left field; some psychic cuttlefish riding a platinum meteor buys out humanity, and although we still might need to work part time is enough or something.
Yeah. "Corpses."
whats funny is the dude who showed the mexican government the "alien corpses" is literally well-known for being a troll. those alien bodies were already debunked in like 2013 he made them himself
a well known conman was running the thing, so yeah
i mean they didnt. A weirdo said so doesn't mean its true
I can imagine the band trying to play the song and looking awkwardly every time Duke interrupts them and slowly getting worried about him
I think the most masterful part of this is how his theme music keeps trying to cut in like “Ok Duke, that’s enough social commentary” and Duke just refuses to let himself be interrupted.
Social commentary. The fact that this concept exist is the summary of everything wrong today. A bunch of assholes made it so that its basically bad manners and controversial to talk about the problems in society, probably since they figured otu that the first step in fixing a problem is talking about it.
I like to imagine that there’s just the whole band on the sidelines, thinking that he’s done every time, but then immediately stopping once he starts again.
“You can keep your alien bastards. I got work in the morning.” Duke sighs and leaves the studio.
The band look at each other in confusion as the lights go out, until they finally decide to finish what they started, topping of the guitar riff.
@@johnx140things never change...
@@johnx140 i wanted to reply with something, but then i realized i'd be meta commentating on how awful of a person i am because of not getting enough attention as a kid.
and also trying to satisfy my never-ending, gluttonous hunger for attention.
tbh even this could be seen as a thing that i do to try and satisfy my greed.
i should just stop talking.
@@generallyunimportantsay whatever the hell you want, you have a right to be heard in my eyes.
_”I’ve believed aliens are real my whole life - until the government said it. Now I’m not so sure.”_
I’ve never related to a statement harder than this.
and besides, this isn't my sword
@@Arthur-yg2fu ARMSTRONGGGG
The vast majority of those UFOs are piloted by humans. Something fucky is going on behind the scenes.
I agree. I always thought there was some kind of extraterrestrial life. And now that the Government decides to say it now, in a time of such great instability, I'm starting to believe more and more that space is dead.
@@invurret9533
Honestly that’s probably for the best. Even if aliens existed, they’d probably be incomprehensible hell creatures and some kind of war would be inevitable. The point is that you’re not getting a xeno-gf and even if you did the then necessary unification of mankind will effectively make each of us even more disposable than we already are.
Frankly we got enough issues to figure out down here, we don’t need xenos running around.
Duke spitting straight facts here. Like unless the aliens are sexy, genocidal. or going to fix everything, they can get in line.
Why do I hear Halo: Reach OST?
@@KingzzzYT Objective: Survive
What if they are sexy, genocidal, and going to fix everything?
@@МаксимК-я4ы the last two are mutually exclusive.
@@МаксимК-я4ы Then they should get to it.
This is particularly existential for Duke since he had, on multiple occasions, fought what he believed to be aliens at the time.
"I promise I won't get political."
2 drinks later...
Imagine Duke delivering this like a press conference to a crowd of people excited about the aliens, walking offstage at the end after throwing down the microphone, an awkward guilt ridden pause, then Megadeth playing the song Duke kept cutting off
Megadeth riff and talking about the government; this is a Megadeth song already
@@456asd654 Dave Mustaine like "Aliens are real? Wow I can't wait to be racist to them!"
@@loadeddice4696did I miss some Dave Mustaine lore? I didn't realize he was racist.
@@BlackKnightsCommanderHe’s not, don’t believe every random comment you see on the internet.
@@BlackKnightsCommander must have missed last 15 years or so then
"You can keep your alien bastards, I got work in the morning"
I felt that in my soul.
Christ this is just too real. I still live with my mom in a broken ass housing market and a broken ass job market with my broken ass autistic brain and my broken ass dysfunctional family. It's hard, man.
_sick guitar riff_
Yo are you me?
Fellow autistic here, same.
@@bootblacking I think they’re about 90% of all of us.
I get your pain, and don’t forget the broken ass religious beliefs that are consistent as the Fnaf timeline
life is really tough... :(
The fact that Duke fights aliens in his games makes this funnier.
The song just giving up is hilarious
Believe in aliens until the government tells you that they are real is too relatable. Obviously, they needed to pull out the biggest distraction to distract from the fact that everything is falling apart.
THE GOVERNMENT SAID NOTHING FFS WHY DOES NO-ONE THINK FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES ABOUT THIS?!?!?! IT WAS ONE GUY! ONE FUCKING GUY! WITH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVIDENCE!!!!!! THERE ARE NO FUCKING ALIENS!!!
sorry had to get that off my chest
(More specifically so they can build even more sophisticated technology to go try and pummel China to keep their rate of profit up bc capitalism is just that twisted lmao)
There's definitely a few ways to look at it. Like obviously intelligent life other than humans is real. There's millions of planets so that's not hard to believe anymore. What if aliens life does want to help? In reality this bombshell really does have an impact on the world except it's far greater than just the world. It'll impact the future of humanity in the long-run and this is a step towards that. Earth plays such a small role in the grand scheme of things and it's exciting that the universe is so much more vast than we first thought. The solution to all these issues that we perceive as big could be found out there.
I don't live in America, what's falling apart?
@@cibo889just about everything
Damn, Duke really just said "fuck them aliens, I got bills to pay"
He surely does both of them tbh
@@sadvec6328fr? How do the aliens look
@@Nehauon
Who cares how they look? A hole is a hole, and a hole is a goal as far as I'm concerned about aliens
It's not wrong though. Even if it was 100% confirmed that we have encountered aliens, it's not gonna change a single thing about people needing to put food on the table.
I bet in perfect Europe everything is just fine since they have free healthcare and free hostels
"Those alien bastards aren't gonna help pay for my mortgage" - Duke, as he does his monthly financials
Ironically, if Duke gets theoretically payed for his appearances in the games, then that’s exactly what they do.
Then again, he hasn’t gotten a role since Forever. Maybe not.
@@scarymeunster9095The memes on this channel are just reuploads of stuff he said on his Cameo, that's how he stays afloat
@@Helios2737 it hasn’t been that long since he reopened it so I’m not sure that’s the case
@@faresalsayed9005 I was joking, I was talking about Duke's Cameo not Gianni's
@@Helios2737 alright
that was the rawest rant i’ve ever laid my ears upon. i loved every second of that.
"Surprise! Us aliens are real!"
"oh, cool."
"Aren't you amazed?"
"The planet's dying too quickly to be amazed at you."
You know, thats a good question. Even if the evidence was irrefutable, if they had a corpse or even a live alien, could I even begin to care? Would life change for the better? Or would I still just go to work and go on like normal?
No matter what, things will not change. Things will never get better. They have been going downhill for over 40 years now and show no signs of stopping, only getting even worse. The power balance is completely one sided. We are all trapped in this "life". The only way out is to eat the rich and powerful. Even then, they would simply be replaced by more awful people. For every 1 good person, there are 100 or more awful people. We are completely doomed, and politics is the only option we have for "change".
@@Burnabyboy keep talking about the 'good' and 'bad' people as if those two words were even remotely objective. Reason we're in such deep shit is because plenty of people think they know who's good and who's bad and try to act on it.
Good people: don’t rape babies
Evil people: rape babies
Pretty objective to me.
@@Burnabyboyhonestly humanity has been in deeper shit before, we will be fine
Edit: As for the OP, things will probably not change much anytime soon other than the fact that we know for certain that there was or still is life out there.
I mean, many discoveries mankind made were pretty much useless and didn't change a thing until we got to the point that those things would matter.
@@BurnabyboyCounteproint: Use a different economic system, if the current one consistently fucks everyone in the ass
"The King wants to own a home someday"
this goes hard af wtf
It really does tho like wth.
I never thought that duke interrupting his own music would be so funny
God, this is just so real. Like, it starts, "ah cool another duke meme" but he cuts off the music with a fact and its got a bit of comedy, but he keeps doing it and its just so hard hitting, and now its not cutting the music to have comedy but to just shut it up.
And then of course it starts right as the video ends, while these facts are serious and real, and duke seems really human throughout this, thats still there for the fact that this is just a video and we still need some light-hearted enjoyment in this depressing reality.
"I got work in the morning" is delivered with such reverance. Its such a raw fucking line for Duke Nukem to drop
Huh..so 10 months later...dont remember posting this? I think someone should have told bro this wasnt the real duke nukem
when DUNDUNDUN hits 3 times
Duke Nukem is what every 90's boy wanted to be growing up.
This video is what we actually are.
A truly magnificent breakdown of childhood expectations versus adult reality, this is the most moving art piece I've ever seen.
The sad thing is, the Senate has already started working on an Act meant to collect and declassify all kinds of records that it might have on UAPs.
It's an amendment to another act that's all about- you guessed it- Increasing military funding
Like those geriatric bastards will do anything remotely helpful to anyone but their donors.
"We can't keep funding the military, the trans people still haven't declared war dammit WE DON'T HAVE AN ENEMY"
"...what about... aliens?"
It really feels like the US is struggling to justify it's military spending even to itself for decades so by now they're really just inventing new enemies.
Apparently they now ran out of countries to invade?
Glad Congress is working on important things like bombing irrelevant countries and investigating fake aliens. I mean what else should they focus on, the worsening climate? The god awful infrastructure? Affordable healthcare?
What the fuck do we even do with tha money anyway, we can already steamroll Europe several times over, what the fuck
Can we please use that money for more important things, for once?
That's scarily relatable, fuck you Gianni, I'm here to chill out, not to get reminded of how terrible my life is (I'm joking love you babe)
"You can keep your damn alien bastards. I got work in the morning."
that's way too relatable.
“I gotta tell ya, I’ve believed aliens are real my whole life. Now that the governments said it, I’m not so sure”
Duke continues his uninterrupted run as most based man in history
I'm glad that the lack of attention on the aliens being confirmed indicates that we all collectively know it's just a lie
There's an extremely high likelihood that aliens exist, but ideally we never meet them, or if we do, hope they don't know where we live.
Doesn't really matter if they're real or not. Even if I personally say they are, aliens aren't going to help with my rent or crippling debt.
They're not going to kidnap me either, so why should I care about 'em?
@@RehtealWhether or not they know where we live and their response to that will be a large factor in whether or not our future looks like Trek, or 40k in our approach to dealing with them.
or rather we knew they existed(ofc we are not alone in this vast universe), but no one really cares bc it changes nothing. it's not like you can personally speak to them or anything.
@@RebellionsBLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Duke being homeless is so poetic with how his series has gone.
I think it's more implied that he's stuck in rent hell like most people are rn
@@SheepUndefined still quite fitting, I'd say
@@SheepUndefineddon’t wanna pay rent??? bank says you can’t pay a mortgage??? start a business!1!!1 buy my course for $999.99 a month to see how!!1!!1
*(we need to crush capitalism before it kills everything)*
@@thechristianoubliette2920 What's that got to do with what I said...?
Did I miss something?
@@SheepUndefinedi like your pfp
The silence just before he says "why don't I feel anything?" is deafening.
The music repeatedly getting interrupted by Duke's nihilistic viewpoints followed by it just giving up and then finally playing for a split second at the end sends me.
"I've believed aliens are real my whole life. until the government said it. now I'm not so sure." Those words are unbelievably relatable
The funniest part of this video to me is that Grabbag was just trying SO HARD to begin and Duke kept cutting it off LMAO
I lost it when it quickly started up at the end of the vid again.
@@michimatsch5862 It waited to make sure that the duke is finally done talking
« You can keep your damn alien bastards. I got work in the morning.. »
This made me feel.. sad. That’s really unexpected.
No matter how funny this video is, it resonates with most of us. Either because we relate to it or know that many live in this situation.
Never have aliens seem so fake until the US government said they were real.
damn, those landowner bastards are gonna pay for evicting up my guys
Conspiracy theories then: Aliens are real!
Conspiracy theories now: Aliens are fake!
No joke this is actually how it is. Flerfers think aliens are demons in disguise.
Unironically this. I've been seeing the same sentiment on Twitter, Reddit, and on some parts of 4chan, and it can be summed up as "aliens are fake and the US government is only saying they are to distract the populace and to justify increasing military spending," it's absolutely wild.
Hmm yes time sure does change people
Came for memes, got an existential crisis. WHAT A FUN FRIDAY.
those damn alien bastards are gonna pay for ruining my Friday >:(
same, my dude. internet hugs
🤨👍🏻
Develop class conscioussness
@@pao5567 No thanks I got bills to pay
When the world has gone so insane that an official confirmation of aliens is just a mild subject of interest
"Non human biological material recovered from a UFO"
A pelican flies into a drone or weather balloon and it crashes. They can't identify what kind of drone or balloon it is. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO.
A dog or other primate is used as a test passenger in a foreign experimental rocket, as has been done many times before, and it crashes on US Soil. US military doesn't know what kind of rocket it is. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO
An crow flies into a jet engine and is pulverized. The US military can't identify what kind of animal the splattered mess that was once a flying animal is. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO.
The pilot of an foriegn experimental aircraft that crashed on US soil had a roast beef sandwich on him. Non human biological material recovered from a UFO.
@@ScarlettFire Yeah, but you get the point
I mean at this point. It would honestly take a lot for people to be convinced that aliens are real. Photos, videos, and even live streams can’t be trusted. Not even word from a public official can be trusted. Aliens would have to physically come down and start fucking things up for anyone to believe lol
There are no fucking aliens, guys, omfg. This kind of thing happens all the fucking time. So called whistleblowers with exclusive information (and no evidence) have been coming out for all of the time UFOs have been a 'thing'. Keyhoe, Frank Scully, Gerald Heard, all of these former government officials coming out saying they just KNOW aliens are real, and NEVER coming forward with anything. Furthermore, if the government is so keen on silencing anyone who tells 'the truth', then WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LETTING YOU SPEAK? Honestly the media reaction to this hearing WAY more intense than it deserves.
To be frank, it's about as important as the discovery of new elements, which only exist for femtoseconds.
This is hilarious as it is true. What made it even funnier is the music randomly stopping and starting
“You can keep your damn alien bastards, I got work in the morning.” Actually goes so fucking hard
Gianni and Duke have fused into one being.
And the truth hurts.
Dukanni Nukragrano
I'm honestly glad this is how I found out about the alien thing. I would like all future life changing discoveries to be announced by Duke going through an existential crisis
Tumblr when a certain Supernatural screenshot has "I love you" superimposed into it with impact font text.
This hits so much realer than I honestly expected it to. It's some mixture of harrowing and satisfactory to hear all of this--*dissatisfaction* voiced so firmly. Because I know we're all feeling it, now we just have the means to express it, all in convenient Duke Nukem form!
i can’t even describe how this video makes me feel. true melancholy can only be found in the most whimsical of places.
Those last few seconds of the video are just the music being like. "... we good?.. can i start now?.. alrighty."
im in fuckin tears at "government found little space guys but can't find me a goddamn healthcare plan"
Yep. Coffee ain't gonna make itself for 13 hours. Sadly, aliens aren't helping me with this.
Don't overwork yourself, people
Some of us can’t afford not too.
Isn't it wild how we used to go absolutely batshit every time something could be remotely linked to extraterrestrial activity? And now that the government's like "oh yeah, aliens are real by the way" we're just like "oh. Okay."?
It’s because the government hasn’t said that. All we have are unconfirmed claims (from interesting sources, but there is no solid proof at the moment).
well it's less that the government said it and more that a single former military officer said it without a single shred of evidence
And also the fact that the "confirmation" boiled down to "I can't say that. But it was real big deal. Can't say what. But it was earth-shattering. Classified information. And it was so weird."
Source: trust me bro, im with the government. We're trustworthy :D
We've been expecting this moment for so much time that when it happens and it's disappointing we want to go back to when it was still a mistery
I watched this video a while ago, started playing ultrakill, found this youtube channel and saw this video again
I have officially come full circle
Y'know, I have some kind of hope that these aliens are one of two kinds of beings:
1: Saiyan like conquerors who either take over the world or kill everyone, or
2: People who just come here for 5 seconds, communicate with some animals, and then dip.
There's also the secret 3rd option in which we applaud as they take over, knowing their government is probably better than ours by a longshot.
the music trying to come back in every time there's a pause in duke's rant is incredibly funny to me
You really couldn't have summed it up better myself, Gianni.
I don't know how he could have explained it better *yourself* too. How would that even work?
@@absolutezerochill2700bros drunk
I both love this and hate it
It perfectly captures the zeitgeist of this period:
The making of absurd jokes about our abject misery
I hope we'll get JC Denton opinion on the matter as well
No wonder they "cut out" the Moon missions ;)
The guitar music continuously trying to start is the best part.
I saw them fuckers with my own two damn eyes I tell you hwat
I knew it!
Been grilling too much indoors Hank
@@Grandmaster-Kush you never have too much propane and propane accessories, I tell you hwat
Sometimes the Alien Bastards arent the crisis of a intergalactic danger that wanna take the world over .... sometimes the Alien Bastards are the people who dont understand to take their responsibilities and duties to help improve the world into better one .
Thank you
we getting out the existential dread with this one 🔥🔥
this is such a strange coping mechanism. please make more
congrats government. you've shaken the most unphasable protagonist ever to his core.
"Ive believed aliens are real my whole god damn life, until the government said it"
After these past couple years, I think a lot of people follow this sentiment 🤣
This is literally me.
The US can only use the "look, aliens!" distraction so many times before the conspiracy becomes centered around trying to figure out which media controversy they're trying to bury at the given moment
I think this happens because aliens basically become animals or more advanced humans if they're real (we still need proof). Their supposed existence takes away the magic of speculation, the wondering of what they would be like, and the mysticism that surrounds them.
Now they are just regular beings who sometimes compete against each other in the game of how many Air Force pilots can they give heart attacks to.
Me unironically.
If the government kept denying they were real, people should've known they were being suspicious but too scared to say anything cause the FBI can arrive to their front door whenever
If the FBI can get the Dutch police to arrest a 14 year old girl for making bomb threats to American Airlines, they sure can track you down for just talking about them
I love that the music is desperately, DESPERATELY trying to continue but Duke KEEPS bringing up another thing
I literally hear “blow it out yer ass” in Duke’s voice every time I see some shit about aliens now, it’s so fuckin’ trite it’s unspeakably insulting that they’re even bothering.
I really felt this one
We're not alone in the universe yet most of us feel lonely and dejected, thanks for the existential dread Gianni!
Never had a meme so succinctly put into words how I've been feeling the last few weeks, but here we are.
In the words of Black Sabbath's song "Wicked World": "They can put the man on the moon quite easy, while people here on earth are dying of old diseases..."
Duke also got to the moon, but "The Man" didn't help him and I say that it wasn't quite easy. Even if you're saving the planet and it's babes you're struggling on your own...
There's another song from 1970 called "Whitey on the Moon" by Gil Scott-Heron, a spoken poem said to the beat of drums that critiques the expidenture toward the moon landings while Black Americans were experiencing medical debt, high taxes, and poverty. Worth a listen.
Darondo - Let My People Go
"We got starvation, panic, across the land
And here's a fool in a rocketship, tryin' to be superman"
I remember seeing a quote by some famous public intellectual (might’ve been Steven Hawking, but I’m not sure) pointing out how… interesting it is that certain governments get accused of masterminding these vast conspiracies flawlessly yet are strangely inept when it comes to actually, you know, governing.
The idea that any government, let alone America’s, can pull off *_any_* of the more popular conspiracy theories with little to no leaks, no mistakes, no political peacocking, etc. but can’t even agree on or implement a good healthcare plan is hilarious.
Gianni really was putting his feelings into this one- and I have to Agree.
Gianni says what the people truly think and the government fears to hear
HOLY the music attempting to play every time he pauses only for it to get interrupted every time is comedy gold
saw ur ass in deepwoken contents' comment section a trillion time
the king wants to own a home someday ):
I love how through out the video the music cuts off the moment duke starts talking
I love how the song keeps trying to go but his sad reality keeps cutting it off.
The part about being a lifelong believer until the government confirmed it was the exact right way to end this vid 😂
As Obi-Wan would say: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHEER MY SPIRITS GIANNI
*NOT BREAK THEM*
Man I don't think I ever related to Duke so much in my entire life until this moment.
When I was a teenager I wanted to be like Duke, now I really became him!!
"Those government bastards shot up my interest rates"
this is the best one of these by far. i can feel Duke’s dead eyed stare through his sunglasses.
i can tell they look just like mine.