Carol, i am a father to 3 boys and i am working hard to raise them to be men. I used to wonder, how i could do it and if i was adequate enough. i discovered that what i needed to do is introduce them to things i already do and things i enjoy doing as a man. We go to the farm, rallying, climb trees, ride bikes, travel and it helps us bond. They are young but as they grow up, i keep introducing them to new things that i am doing and new things i enjoy. I'm committed to raising great men and as much as sometimes i might feel that i'm inadequate, I can.
Thank you Caroline for this. I am 21 years old and every time I have a talk with my male peers I am almost in tears. Girls have to be mothers, sisters, aunties and wives. We have to be leaders, scholars. Then a fellow 21 year old man doesn't even know how to be himself. What happened to industrious, ambitious, virtuous men. We have a generation of males who are not men, lets work to make this the last generation. Let us raise the men we would want to lead us, men we would want to have as husbands.
+Wanjiru Mburu It's a nice thought ladies, but men raise men. Ladies should let their husbands spend time with their sons and raise manly men because there is no man wimpier than a man raised alone by a woman (either because she is a single mom or has an absentee dad). This is a little harsh I know but its true. MEN RAISE MEN...Period. Ladies get with the program. You need a real man in your life if you intend to raise any sort of boys who will become real men. Talk to a man whose father taught him stuff and then talk to a man who was raised by a single mom with no men like uncles in his life...BIG DIFFERENCE..because men raise men.
+Wanjiru Mburu the problem with this generation of women is that they want millionaires instant money unataka mtu anaendesha range rover yet even your father used the amount for that range rover to school you
It takes a family i.e. mother and father, to raise a family with values, principles and enduring morals. Short of this, we produce the mediocrity we see in our midst. Two males or two females united in a union can never produce or raise a family. Changing the modus operandi will not make it work.
Ooooh Yes Caroline. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for making me realize that my decision to walk out of a relationship was with even though it hurt. His mother did not raise me a husband. He pampered the boy child.
TRUE KABISA.. I REMEMBER MY MOTHER TOLD ME "MY BBABY GAL WILL NEVER LALA NA NJAA" up to today.. i cant stand being poor... i must something legal to give profit. thnks Caro
This is one of my favourite. I have watched this video so many times. I remember sharing it and all my friends loved it. Actually our society has forgotten the boys. Nice video
Caroline.. thank you so much for highlighting that point.. i have a 7 year old son.. and from today, i will raise him up to be a God fearing, loving, respectful, hardworking man.. we tend to neglect male children coz somehow we think that its automatic, a guy will grow up to be the perfect gentleman... But to be honest Ce pas possible!!! we just have to train up a child in the way that they will not depart from it.. according to the bible.. Alafu.. being a single mother it becomes kidogo challenging.. coz kids copy alot of what we do n not say.. so for my son...i have to put in alot of work.. not to only talk but to look for a male role model..someone to mentor him. God help me!! Thanx alot... u r special!!
+Janet Anyango Iron sharpens Iron. If your boy starts wearing makeup and putting on your dresses do not cane him for he is being sharpened to become like you.
Atwine Moses thanx n by the way my son loves my shoes, handbag we have to fight ndo asipake cutex.. But itabidi I become more strict.. I like it though but najua it might affect him in future.. But I always pray for him n talk with him... I believe with time itakuwa sawa
I don’t usually comment on anything on RUclips but i have watched all video’s on the man issue and i am moved to act. Am a mother of 5 raising 3 girls and 2 boys. And now i will be more intentional as to how i handle my boys as a mother. Thank you for this but i think the conversation needs to continue and we need to hear from the men on this matter too.
I have been watching your videos for some weeks now and I must say that many of the issues dealt with here are things my late mum taught me when I was growing up. This is pertinent material and should get a larger platform, keep it up Caroline definitely headed in the right direction.
Our dads taught us that women and children do work and men supervise it while they trim the fence and talk to bypassers. At the payout day for the crops that had monetary value, our dads brought the money in and paid our school fees, supported us, and did all that the money needed to do. The problem with this model is that money no longer comes through the banks but through the labour that we had learned to associate with women and children. The paradigm has changed alot. Its not a battle of the sexes, its a reconstruction of the society.
OMG so true. I am in this all girls high school alumni organisation that more or less works to empower us ladies into becoming great woman, and I remember the head of the organisation once saying "We are doing a good job here but I'm afraid that our ladies are going to go out there and not find husbands as great." It's clear a lot of effort is put into making girls the 'perfect women', but not much in making boys the 'perfect men'. This is seen in how some men claim that some women intimidate them. Or how there are so many single mothers out there. It is a sad situation really, where in the society we live today, more women are more focused and ambitious (even at a young age) a lot more than our men are. But what they do not know is that we ain't gonna settle for less, so if the men want the smart (in every sense of the word) women out there, they need to be as smart, or even better.
watching 2 years later. ..I love this Caroline, this is a video that everyone should watch. I like how accurately you've put it. As a twenty something year old campus student who is passionate about women empowerement, I have always felt as if I ought to justify my actions. Most men of all ages will ask: what about the boy child? Don't you think women have been "too empowered"? everything is about women nowadays. If this were true, girls would not be lacking sanitary towels in kenya. 65% of women and girls in kenya cannot afford sanitary towels in KENYA IN 2017!! In our country condoms are free but sanitary towels are ridiculously expensive yet periods are NOT a choice. We need the men, our fathers, brothers, uncles to also step up and raise boys responsible men. If the men and society in general, put in as much effort to push boys as much as girls are, we would not have this problem. PS: I follow your videos diligently. All my RUclips accounts are subscribed. please like and/or comment
Great insight and food for thought right there Caroline. When you speak I can actually point a person I know with the traits you talk about - whether good ones or bad. Keep doing this, I appreciate your work.
wow wow wow! You know, i have never commented i just watch, but this is a mater close to my heart and the clarity you have given me is just beyond what i could imagine. For a long while, i thought there was something wrong with me, i had set my bar too high....Now i know my mother raised a wonderful woman. Another person did not raise me a husband. Spot On Caroline....
God bless you jamani mm kila nikikusikiza naona kbsa I change kila day.... am 23 just started my career and I hope one day to rise a family..... a perfect one as I am shaping myself
Caroline.."You are such wonderful girls..."did you raise me a husband? A great question that was. Your exposition and illustration is exemplary. One might as well ask "Did you raise me a wife? etc .Well done and keep up the in-depth expositions.Patrick Kamau author of - The Bright Nights and Drumbeats from Mama Africa
I'm just happy people are finally coming out and talking about this. We were having a similar conversation with a friend recently and noted how sad it is that parents don't just have to save for their retirement, they have to mark up the savings to include that 'daddy' who might never move out of the house. In my opinion, this has nothing to do with how you were raised, character rests on the person and if the guy is constantly making decisions to remain a boy rather than man up, there's nothing much anyone else can do to help.
Women are like black people in the world. They've been oppressed for long, and they fought for their rights. That is why the modern woman has more zeal and energy to achieve, compared to the man, who has always been in power, and never realised that the world changed. Women work harder than men, to achieve an equivalent. That's why more women are doing better than men, though the wealthiest and successful are still predominantly men. It's just like the 'Wangu wa Makeri' era...But I believe men will be moved to be better by the women. The future is brighter...Women have forced men to level up, and trust me, they will!
i love the conversation here Carol, you have just picked a very interesting topic that really need to be addressed. Am loving your channel every day.. I have held this conversation a million times with my girlfriends trying to explain why am still single. i have a bunch of male friends who i feel without being too harsh on them they are very untaught. I feel seek every day i think of getting married with all the "wife lessons" av heard just to get married to a mama's boy who understand absolutely nothing about womanhood or even what it calls for in being a husband. The society judge us harshly when we feel like marriage is a no go zone but just as your friend Valentine the feeling is mutual here, who raised me a husband. At times i feel as though am either proud or self righteous when i hold an argument or rather a conversation with my male friends and i just cant stand their level of immaturity and being petty...I got this future parenting goals of raising the man i would love to marry in my son and at least try and solve this problem where i can.
I had tears in my eyes and goosebumps all over while I watched this video. I have NEVER commented on a youtube video before... well done Caroline... well done
Good morning Caroline. I follow your conversations very closely on this channel and Twitter and I must say that this one has had the most profound meaning to me. There is a such a huge disconnect within the society regarding the Man and Woman and it is worrying. Through our company we have been honoured with the opportunity to organize The Miss Tourism Kenya Annual Event and we would wish to develop the theme around your conversation from the perspective of a Woman and we are calling it "My Brother and I". Gauging from the responses on your channel, I must say you have initiated a conversation that we would love to be a part of. Good morning.
Thank you so much for this. I am 29 and I haven't found a suitable male partner to really settle down with. This opens my mind to the fact that I might never. And that is ok. Thanks.
Funny thing is told my colleagues that Kenyans will elect a female president sooner than they think. In about 20 years, (note this was over 5 years ago), they will remember me whilst voting a female president. Women seem to be more organised and considerate. Rarely are they quoted in corruption, vulgarism, ill behaviour etc and Kenyans will notice this soon and decide, Hey, she seems more organised. In the past decade, how many female leaders have been elected around the world. Indians, Germans, Pakistanis (These is a Muslim country), Brazil, Africa we have CAR and Liberia, Argentina etc. Kenyans Ladies have been in the cards since 1997 ( Masaa na Ngilu) and Martha in 2012. next they will head the opposition then they will lead.
+Patrique Okoth Thank you Okoth. Ladies (Caroline included) have completely failed to understand this simple truth and yet men keep shouting it out everyday. Plus a lot of single mothers are living in denial. MEN RAISE MEN and WOMEN (Including the most loving mothers ever) CAN'T RAISE MEN. Sorry Mom :) but its true. Men are raised by Men period. It hurts mum's feelings but it's 100% the truth. If there is no man in your boys life then your raising a sisiboy.
@@kwambokam.tirimba1627 u sound bitter. Men are always around. Just make sure you don't go having babies with men who are not mature. A man who will take care of his kids even if you guys break up
You such an inspiration Caroline.. God bless and enlighten your path..incredible video ..for that reason does it really mean that any manly trait seen now is perhaps inherited or brought up?
That's very true Caroline, some fathers do nothing but to blame the women of how irresponsible they raise there sons to be instead of being the husband/father the son would aspire to become. With parenting i recon that single women should bring out the men in there sons and on the other hand if the parents are both there then just as our mothers do with us girls so should the fathers do with the sons. let the fathers stop pointing fingers and start by asking themselves where the rain started beating them......The moment you forget your fatherly responsibility is the moment you failed because our parents are like books we read everyday./.......Painful it can be when one day you tell your son on how much they failed and they tell you how much worse you were as a parent/father and how much they which you had not existed in there life to start with i am a mother of 3 year old and my son makes me proud because i know i am raising someone who will respect women and treat them as women should....At two he told me to stop calling him Juniour and that his name is Adrian and now at three he says he's the man of the house who protects the mother. I am so proud
Caroline, I agree with you that men should not be lazy from your video, (paying that or this..). Men have been raised to be husbands, that is why most of the big companies, empires, dynasties or presidents are lead by men that is a fact that they are trained to be leaders and providers, they go to war, they solve problems and the best one to be husband, they invent, and do many things that they are trained to do. In Kenya MOST of them still do. In the USA and other developed countries you can not lead if you do not have a wife or husband. I believe this problem started with gender equality where some of the important facts are ignored, eg role of the boy child in the society. Men should still be empowered (given equal opportunities) because if they do not it will be chaos all over. Boys are taught to be bread winners, that's why men that are raised that way will find it difficult to accept a woman who earns more because its contrary to how he was raised. The advent of single mothers have raised girls who can stand on their own without men and boys have no one e.g a father figure to advise them. To my opinion i believe that this problem has been created by modernization which have no regard our positive traditions. Religious bodies have tried to do it but feminist have confused us all.
thank you. i totally agree. these woman want another woman. the one who will cook and clean like they do. man are very different to women. my son is very young but i already see a lil man in him. i actually try to say to him just be a lil boy. if i have a gal i will be the same. give time for child development to take place. a woman who isnt much raised me a man my now fiance, but he wouldn't be the kind of man, rich successful man would be after.
I beg to disagree. Our parents pressured us too, as do societal expectations. Your friend's self-righteous assumption is that she was raised, and ended up as a good potential wife. Surely, the problem is the men: exactly the attitude that makes relationships not work, whether its the man or the woman who has it. #LoveYourChannel :-)
I've explained many times that while ppl have quite rightfully highlighted the well-documented failings of society in supporting females, by extension, it has also failed the males. This principle also applies to discrimination within racism. Let me explain: We have underutilized and not empowered human beings enough generally but we have done a lot of it to females over the "years". Now, we coexist on this good planet we call earth and part of fulfilling our potential requires coexisting in this ecosystem. So while people highlighted the "successes" of males, females are beginning to understand or feel the effect of plateauing by not having an adequate partner to perhaps achieve more self-actualization. This leads to females linking with other females - does this sound familiar yet? Human beings seek companionship, oftentimes intimate companionship, which helps us in different ways. If we don't have that balance, we tilt generally speaking to work with what we have available like trying to fill a bottle with a partition blocking half of its space from filling. The Bible spoke about a man being lonely but this applies to all of us. We are built as social creatures and this interaction allows us to achieve greater heights than if we were alone. We keep making the mistakes and part of the movements I felt were trying to achieve retribution rather than solutions. It helps us that both males and females are able to contribute to society in meaningful ways. I maintain that we need to stop saying things like females mature faster or are more intelligent etc because that's the exact opposite of what society did to females before. We know the results so raise responsible children. However, in the aspect of matchmaking, this is another sphere that may or may not have anything to do with have suitable equals and more perhaps to do with your own ideals. Perhaps, perhaps not. I've seen many females and males stay single for this more than unavailability of adequate spouses.
There is some truth in Caroline's theory, but her argument has some few weaknesses. Firstly, it does not consider the contemporary social context. Presently, many women value a man's success in terms of his wealth. If he is broke, ladies give him a wide berth. In essence. women rarely pause to evaluate the personality of a man; rather, they look at the outside. In my opinion, that is one reason bad boys with money to burn every weekend and nice cars have tons of girls following them. It is interesting to note that some girls do not mind being played, as long as their men provide for them financially. Do sponsors cross your mind? On the other hand, the virtuous guy working hard as a cashier at a supermarket barely gets noticed. Secondly even as our mothers teach their daughters how to be successful, they fail to coach them on how to be wives. Therefore, successful women are not willing to play second fiddle to their husbands.Indeed, there are instances where marriages break when the wife becomes financially successful. Why? In effect, it is easy to blame it all on men, it is the dysfunctional social system that is the villain really,
I am seven months late to this but I will reply anyway. I believe Caroline was talking about 'women' and not girls and those who are ready to 'settle' not those still looking to date and enjoy themselves. Also, this argument of women look for money and sponsors does not apply to all same case with what Caroline is talking about does not apply to all.
Caroline, in our current society no one is raising their children to be a Husband or wife, that is the bitter truth, our societal roles are no longer those of 19th century , where the main goal of our existence dependented upon our offsprings, its hash to try to and compere us millennials to baby boomers, Education ,cereer and individualism are the subscribers of the 21st century. No one is thinking how is my child going to be the best wife or husband , nope , Priorities are; am I able to take my children to school, are they able to get a decent meal, How am I preparing them to face this crazy co-oparate world and Globalization.
Zeddy T Hey Zeddy, just because "they" ain't doing it, doesn't mean others aren't. I am not a mother myself but i have four wonderful nephews whom by the way we are raising to be providers, protectors, future leaders who will influence our societies. The equivalent of them, i.e the girls are raised the same, empowered, to be future leaders who will influence. The only difference is, the roles and the expectations placed on them differ. My nephews (the oldest being 8), are already aware that they need to be a leaders and behave like a men. The eldest opens the car door for the little sister and brother, he removes the garbage bag and he cleans after himself. The girl on the hand is always in the kitchen cooking and helping mummie out. Their roles are well distinct and well communicated! Parenting is not for the faint hearted and we must raise up and raise men who will treat our daughters with respect, dignity and love. men who are secure in whom they are, men who know their roles in the society and at home, men who are not threatened by the empowered girl, men who can bring about the more desired redemption. Its possible, am doing it with my nephews and i will do it with my sons, if God pleases to bless me with them! Lets call out the Manhood in our boys. I am struggling to find my match, but i am determined to raise men who will marry our daughters!
I beg to disagree a bit.In as much as we all agree there is a global boycrisis we also need to appreciate that there are parents who have raised great men.Nobody should fail to get married just because there is a boy crisis.we have testimonies of amazing women who have found their equivalent.Lets be objective here,as we acknowledge the crisis ,lets not lose sight of the fact that there are parents who have raised great men in this country n beyond.#mytake.
Japheth Mutungi Some countries have more men than women ChinaIf i am single i can try to think out of the box. Even though i won't have a chance to travel i can check on the net
Its interesting that after watching this amazing clip, I had to come across this bit.ly/1UmMNMP I hope the mother/father isn't around there. What sort of a man would this turn to?
Sasa hapa umepotea kabisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Let me tell you caroline mutoko, equivalent man, to you would be a CEO, a managing director or a politician, MONEY MONEY MONEY,,,,, In reality its about a chance, believe you me. Even without you Radio Africa would have another star, the company would still make profit. If you didnt look good, then brains comes next, that person who gave you a chance your only first chance. You wouldn't have made it, its preparation for an opportunity plus luck, so an equivalent man, raised by a woman for you, is the guy you are dismissing because he might be an honest civil servant earning a net of 100k, driving a premio or a VITZ like Mutunga before he was the chief justice. Be honest with yourself.
KIBET JORAM I felt the same. What she says is a fallacy trumped up by the feminists. If you follow the money as a man's measure of success and ambition, you will miss a lot of great people whose interests are in humanity not capitalist. She needs to tone it down or invite someone to counter her. There is not just one truth black or white life is more of grey mish mash of the two. Women take this piece of advice with a pinch of salt.
I dont think so a man is not his status, ie ceo etc . because what happens when he is fired does he stop being a man. A man is a man is a man just what that word means he is industrious, virtueous, Loving, Selfless, caring. self disciplined, we see them every day on TV the knight in shining armor. they never give up in pursuit of providing for their women and children. they never give up in protecting their wives and children. they are prayerful. and they are warriors. its not about the money.
KIBET JORAM women do leave rich men , and even while married divorce rich men too . Divorces do cross all financial status ... dont tell me u never hear the rich divorce . There are women who leave rich marriages with nothing but their souls only . Be objective .
@@susanmwangi1709 your words " ... they never give up in pursuit of providing for their women and children. they never give up in protecting their wives and children..." This is the problem. Men are only good if they can be used to make women and children comfortable. Men all over the world are tired of being a utility for women and children. Men are prioritizing themselves, and their happiness by remaining single. Women are getting bitter because men are waking up and realizing how unfair the romantic relationship system is to them.
The only problem is that the expectations put on men are not realistic. I have very good honest friends who work hard and earn a modest income and I have friends who are thugs I cant trust for a second and are millionaires. Guess what the thugs are considered hard working and industrious. So I guess which way should the boy head?
Carol you really mislead most Kenyans. You talked for so long praising Cyton MMF and now you are saying nothing while so many especially women's money is held up with Cyton. What do you have to say now
So the women were single parents for lack of better men.....could'nt that be an excuse of their singlehood as there are better men, only that, not in the same ratio as women?......guess not so soon.
Lady I like your channel but guess what, that right there is what they call ego in its extreme. Simple thing is if you have kids and are not married it means the man couldn't stand you, no offense but looks like your mother forgot one important lesson, and that is "how to be a wife". I heard you talking about bitching rights and bragging rights in the other video, no man wants a bitch and a braggart at that. So lady compose your self, nations are built on families and a woman is a core part of the family. And get a husband... :-)
You, are those men that were not raised to be husbands. you are chauvinistic. you are just a shame, i am sorry but your view on life is myopic!!! does a man have to stand a woman. why cant it be she didnt stand the man. who is a man??????
Carol, i am a father to 3 boys and i am working hard to raise them to be men. I used to wonder, how i could do it and if i was adequate enough. i discovered that what i needed to do is introduce them to things i already do and things i enjoy doing as a man. We go to the farm, rallying, climb trees, ride bikes, travel and it helps us bond. They are young but as they grow up, i keep introducing them to new things that i am doing and new things i enjoy. I'm committed to raising great men and as much as sometimes i might feel that i'm inadequate, I can.
Try not to call her Carol she is Caroline .......good point though hope my daughter will be the lucky one to get one of your boys oooh sorry men :)
I commend you for the effort and dedication.
May God bless you for being there for your boys.
Paul Karingithi encourage other men to do the same the boy child is indeed ,in trouble.All the best with the boys
Paul Karingithi that is awesome. It will teach them to try new things everytime and grow.
Thank you Caroline for this. I am 21 years old and every time I have a talk with my male peers I am almost in tears. Girls have to be mothers, sisters, aunties and wives. We have to be leaders, scholars. Then a fellow 21 year old man doesn't even know how to be himself. What happened to industrious, ambitious, virtuous men. We have a generation of males who are not men, lets work to make this the last generation. Let us raise the men we would want to lead us, men we would want to have as husbands.
+Wanjiru Mburu I like this conversation!
+Wanjiru Mburu It's a nice thought ladies, but men raise men. Ladies should let their husbands spend time with their sons and raise manly men because there is no man wimpier than a man raised alone by a woman (either because she is a single mom or has an absentee dad). This is a little harsh I know but its true. MEN RAISE MEN...Period. Ladies get with the program. You need a real man in your life if you intend to raise any sort of boys who will become real men. Talk to a man whose father taught him stuff and then talk to a man who was raised by a single mom with no men like uncles in his life...BIG DIFFERENCE..because men raise men.
+Wanjiru Mburu the problem with this generation of women is that they want millionaires instant money unataka mtu anaendesha range rover yet even your father used the amount for that range rover to school you
It takes a family i.e. mother and father, to raise a family with values, principles and enduring morals. Short of this, we produce the mediocrity we see in our midst. Two males or two females united in a union can never produce or raise a family. Changing the modus operandi will not make it work.
6 years later. Caroline and "girlfriends" hasn't found their equivalent. Ego higher than personality
Ooooh Yes Caroline. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for making me realize that my decision to walk out of a relationship was with even though it hurt. His mother did not raise me a husband. He pampered the boy child.
Caroline you rock and I love watching your clips. keep up the good job.
Love. Love. Love this conversation. This is still SO REAL today.
TRUE KABISA.. I REMEMBER MY MOTHER TOLD ME "MY BBABY GAL WILL NEVER LALA NA NJAA" up to today.. i cant stand being poor... i must something legal to give profit.
thnks Caro
This is one of my favourite. I have watched this video so many times. I remember sharing it and all my friends loved it. Actually our society has forgotten the boys. Nice video
Caroline.. thank you so much for highlighting that point.. i have a 7 year old son.. and from today, i will raise him up to be a God fearing, loving, respectful, hardworking man.. we tend to neglect male children coz somehow we think that its automatic, a guy will grow up to be the perfect gentleman... But to be honest Ce pas possible!!! we just have to train up a child in the way that they will not depart from it.. according to the bible.. Alafu.. being a single mother it becomes kidogo challenging.. coz kids copy alot of what we do n not say.. so for my son...i have to put in alot of work.. not to only talk but to look for a male role model..someone to mentor him. God help me!! Thanx alot... u r special!!
+Janet Anyango Iron sharpens Iron. If your boy starts wearing makeup and putting on your dresses do not cane him for he is being sharpened to become like you.
Atwine Moses thanx n by the way my son loves my shoes, handbag we have to fight ndo asipake cutex.. But itabidi I become more strict.. I like it though but najua it might affect him in future.. But I always pray for him n talk with him... I believe with time itakuwa sawa
+Janet Anyango It takes a man to raise a man...
This one has challenged and blessed me.....wow
At 22 in 2023 this episode despite being from 7 years ago , I has taught me a lot.
I don’t usually comment on anything on RUclips but i have watched all video’s on the man issue and i am moved to act. Am a mother of 5 raising 3 girls and 2 boys. And now i will be more intentional as to how i handle my boys as a mother. Thank you for this but i think the conversation needs to continue and we need to hear from the men on this matter too.
I have been watching your videos for some weeks now and I must say that many of the issues dealt with here are things my late mum taught me when I was growing up. This is pertinent material and should get a larger platform, keep it up Caroline definitely headed in the right direction.
Our dads taught us that women and children do work and men supervise it while they trim the fence and talk to bypassers. At the payout day for the crops that had monetary value, our dads brought the money in and paid our school fees, supported us, and did all that the money needed to do. The problem with this model is that money no longer comes through the banks but through the labour that we had learned to associate with women and children. The paradigm has changed alot. Its not a battle of the sexes, its a reconstruction of the society.
True.
OMG so true. I am in this all girls high school alumni organisation that more or less works to empower us ladies into becoming great woman, and I remember the head of the organisation once saying "We are doing a good job here but I'm afraid that our ladies are going to go out there and not find husbands as great."
It's clear a lot of effort is put into making girls the 'perfect women', but not much in making boys the 'perfect men'. This is seen in how some men claim that some women intimidate them. Or how there are so many single mothers out there. It is a sad situation really, where in the society we live today, more women are more focused and ambitious (even at a young age) a lot more than our men are. But what they do not know is that we ain't gonna settle for less, so if the men want the smart (in every sense of the word) women out there, they need to be as smart, or even better.
watching 2 years later. ..I love this Caroline, this is a video that everyone should watch. I like how accurately you've put it. As a twenty something year old campus student who is passionate about women empowerement, I have always felt as if I ought to justify my actions. Most men of all ages will ask: what about the boy child? Don't you think women have been "too empowered"? everything is about women nowadays. If this were true, girls would not be lacking sanitary towels in kenya. 65% of women and girls in kenya cannot afford sanitary towels in KENYA IN 2017!! In our country condoms are free but sanitary towels are ridiculously expensive yet periods are NOT a choice. We need the men, our fathers, brothers, uncles to also step up and raise boys responsible men. If the men and society in general, put in as much effort to push boys as much as girls are, we would not have this problem.
PS: I follow your videos diligently. All my RUclips accounts are subscribed. please like and/or comment
Such an eye opener .. raising boys to be Men.
Great insight and food for thought right there Caroline. When you speak I can actually point a person I know with the traits you talk about - whether good ones or bad. Keep doing this, I appreciate your work.
I love this. Thanks for the enlightenment
wooow,,,,raising a man for another well raised woman somewhere,,,brilliant,,this made me subscribe ,,#finally
wow wow wow! You know, i have never commented i just watch, but this is a mater close to my heart and the clarity you have given me is just beyond what i could imagine. For a long while, i thought there was something wrong with me, i had set my bar too high....Now i know my mother raised a wonderful woman. Another person did not raise me a husband. Spot On Caroline....
God bless you jamani mm kila nikikusikiza naona kbsa I change kila day.... am 23 just started my career and I hope one day to rise a family..... a perfect one as I am shaping myself
Word! learning a lot, thank you Caroline for this blogs
Conscious living personified.Bravo.
your words are rich......ur wisdom too caroline
Caroline.."You are such wonderful girls..."did you raise me a husband? A great question that was. Your exposition and illustration is exemplary. One might as well ask "Did you raise me a wife? etc .Well done and keep up the in-depth expositions.Patrick Kamau author of - The Bright Nights and Drumbeats from Mama Africa
This is one of my favorite videos by you!
I'm just happy people are finally coming out and talking about this. We were having a similar conversation with a friend recently and noted how sad it is that parents don't just have to save for their retirement, they have to mark up the savings to include that 'daddy' who might never move out of the house. In my opinion, this has nothing to do with how you were raised, character rests on the person and if the guy is constantly making decisions to remain a boy rather than man up, there's nothing much anyone else can do to help.
Wish this was longer...
Wow Caroline! I like the question Val asked because that is what it boils down to. Thank you for your insight.
BEAUTIFUL
Women are like black people in the world. They've been oppressed for long, and they fought for their rights. That is why the modern woman has more zeal and energy to achieve, compared to the man, who has always been in power, and never realised that the world changed. Women work harder than men, to achieve an equivalent. That's why more women are doing better than men, though the wealthiest and successful are still predominantly men. It's just like the 'Wangu wa Makeri' era...But I believe men will be moved to be better by the women. The future is brighter...Women have forced men to level up, and trust me, they will!
A for Amazing. This is so on point.
Well said Caroline. Love your vidz. Keep them coming
i love the conversation here Carol, you have just picked a very interesting topic that really need to be addressed. Am loving your channel every day.. I have held this conversation a million times with my girlfriends trying to explain why am still single. i have a bunch of male friends who i feel without being too harsh on them they are very untaught. I feel seek every day i think of getting married with all the "wife lessons" av heard just to get married to a mama's boy who understand absolutely nothing about womanhood or even what it calls for in being a husband. The society judge us harshly when we feel like marriage is a no go zone but just as your friend Valentine the feeling is mutual here, who raised me a husband. At times i feel as though am either proud or self righteous when i hold an argument or rather a conversation with my male friends and i just cant stand their level of immaturity and being petty...I got this future parenting goals of raising the man i would love to marry in my son and at least try and solve this problem where i can.
Hi, Caroline. Well said. Love you RUclips videos.Keep it up. God bless
Caroline!! always on point!!
I had tears in my eyes and goosebumps all over while I watched this video. I have NEVER commented on a youtube video before... well done Caroline... well done
Keep it up!!
Don't I just love this? Well said. Am trying to raise my son to be a REAL MAN.
Spot on!
So on point!!
Powerful ❤️
Good message up there!
Huge challenge to us who have sons, may the Lord help us to raise up men who one day can be good responsible husbands, fathers and friends.
liking this, like to see this become a regular TV show and invite me
Very onpoint , worried!!
You hit it on the head! Women take great pride raising their gals and forget about the boys.
Good morning Caroline. I follow your conversations very closely on this channel and Twitter and I must say that this one has had the most profound meaning to me. There is a such a huge disconnect within the society regarding the Man and Woman and it is worrying. Through our company we have been honoured with the opportunity to organize The Miss Tourism Kenya Annual Event and we would wish to develop the theme around your conversation from the perspective of a Woman and we are calling it "My Brother and I". Gauging from the responses on your channel, I must say you have initiated a conversation that we would love to be a part of. Good morning.
That would be great!
Thank you so much for this. I am 29 and I haven't found a suitable male partner to really settle down with. This opens my mind to the fact that I might never. And that is ok. Thanks.
Funny thing is told my colleagues that Kenyans will elect a female president sooner than they think. In about 20 years, (note this was over 5 years ago), they will remember me whilst voting a female president. Women seem to be more organised and considerate. Rarely are they quoted in corruption, vulgarism, ill behaviour etc and Kenyans will notice this soon and decide, Hey, she seems more organised. In the past decade, how many female leaders have been elected around the world. Indians, Germans, Pakistanis (These is a Muslim country), Brazil, Africa we have CAR and Liberia, Argentina etc. Kenyans Ladies have been in the cards since 1997 ( Masaa na Ngilu) and Martha in 2012. next they will head the opposition then they will lead.
wow that is so true super inspired by that
Basically. it takes a man to raise a man.
+Patrique Okoth Thank you Okoth. Ladies (Caroline included) have completely failed to understand this simple truth and yet men keep shouting it out everyday. Plus a lot of single mothers are living in denial. MEN RAISE MEN and WOMEN (Including the most loving mothers ever) CAN'T RAISE MEN. Sorry Mom :) but its true. Men are raised by Men period. It hurts mum's feelings but it's 100% the truth. If there is no man in your boys life then your raising a sisiboy.
Then where are the men who are supposed to be raising these men
@@kwambokam.tirimba1627 u sound bitter. Men are always around. Just make sure you don't go having babies with men who are not mature. A man who will take care of his kids even if you guys break up
Besides every great man thete must have been a great woman beside him
So true caro most of us complain about bad husband,bad brothers geberally illmannered men
💯💯💯💯
My thoughts exactly
You such an inspiration Caroline.. God bless and enlighten your path..incredible video ..for that reason does it really mean that any manly trait seen now is perhaps inherited or brought up?
So true
💖💐.
www.economist.com/news/international/21645759-boys-are-being-outclassed-girls-both-school-and-university-and-gap?fsrc=scn/fb/wl/pe/theweakersex
Caroline Mutoko : wonderful
That's very true Caroline, some fathers do nothing but to blame the women of how irresponsible they raise there sons to be instead of being the husband/father the son would aspire to become. With parenting i recon that single women should bring out the men in there sons and on the other hand if the parents are both there then just as our mothers do with us girls so should the fathers do with the sons. let the fathers stop pointing fingers and start by asking themselves where the rain started beating them......The moment you forget your fatherly responsibility is the moment you failed because our parents are like books we read everyday./.......Painful it can be when one day you tell your son on how much they failed and they tell you how much worse you were as a parent/father and how much they which you had not existed in there life to start with
i am a mother of 3 year old and my son makes me proud because i know i am raising someone who will respect women and treat them as women should....At two he told me to stop calling him Juniour and that his name is Adrian and now at three he says he's the man of the house who protects the mother. I am so proud
THUMBS UP MR. VIVITTY
Caroline, I agree with you that men should not be lazy from your video, (paying that or this..). Men have been raised to be husbands, that is why most of the big companies, empires, dynasties or presidents are lead by men that is a fact that they are trained to be leaders and providers, they go to war, they solve problems and the best one to be husband, they invent, and do many things that they are trained to do. In Kenya MOST of them still do. In the USA and other developed countries you can not lead if you do not have a wife or husband. I believe this problem started with gender equality where some of the important facts are ignored, eg role of the boy child in the society. Men should still be empowered (given equal opportunities) because if they do not it will be chaos all over. Boys are taught to be bread winners, that's why men that are raised that way will find it difficult to accept a woman who earns more because its contrary to how he was raised. The advent of single mothers have raised girls who can stand on their own without men and boys have no one e.g a father figure to advise them. To my opinion i believe that this problem has been created by modernization which have no regard our positive traditions. Religious bodies have tried to do it but feminist have confused us all.
thank you. i totally agree. these woman want another woman. the one who will cook and clean like they do. man are very different to women. my son is very young but i already see a lil man in him. i actually try to say to him just be a lil boy. if i have a gal i will be the same. give time for child development to take place. a woman who isnt much raised me a man my now fiance, but he wouldn't be the kind of man, rich successful man would be after.
Did I miss something OKAY I started watching Final Episode. where is episode 1.
Yes from the family set up
I beg to disagree. Our parents pressured us too, as do societal expectations. Your friend's self-righteous assumption is that she was raised, and ended up as a good potential wife. Surely, the problem is the men: exactly the attitude that makes relationships not work, whether its the man or the woman who has it.
#LoveYourChannel :-)
more men commit suicide each year than women. ple overlook facts just to prove a point
wow you have enlightened me. I'm a mother to be to a boy. I will definitely raise a husband.
n this got u a new subscriber
That last bit..... I think you answered why you are not married. No equivalent man.
I've explained many times that while ppl have quite rightfully highlighted the well-documented failings of society in supporting females, by extension, it has also failed the males. This principle also applies to discrimination within racism. Let me explain: We have underutilized and not empowered human beings enough generally but we have done a lot of it to females over the "years".
Now, we coexist on this good planet we call earth and part of fulfilling our potential requires coexisting in this ecosystem. So while people highlighted the "successes" of males, females are beginning to understand or feel the effect of plateauing by not having an adequate partner to perhaps achieve more self-actualization. This leads to females linking with other females - does this sound familiar yet?
Human beings seek companionship, oftentimes intimate companionship, which helps us in different ways. If we don't have that balance, we tilt generally speaking to work with what we have available like trying to fill a bottle with a partition blocking half of its space from filling. The Bible spoke about a man being lonely but this applies to all of us. We are built as social creatures and this interaction allows us to achieve greater heights than if we were alone. We keep making the mistakes and part of the movements I felt were trying to achieve retribution rather than solutions. It helps us that both males and females are able to contribute to society in meaningful ways. I maintain that we need to stop saying things like females mature faster or are more intelligent etc because that's the exact opposite of what society did to females before. We know the results so raise responsible children. However, in the aspect of matchmaking, this is another sphere that may or may not have anything to do with have suitable equals and more perhaps to do with your own ideals. Perhaps, perhaps not. I've seen many females and males stay single for this more than unavailability of adequate spouses.
it takes a man to raise a man,....
Am I the only one who nodded the whole video?
Caroline indeed the crisis is global... I live in Australia and is quite sad watching women step up to do men's roles because they can't handle it.
waaaaw kkkkkkkkk
Question: What on earth is a race to the bottom?
Simple - competition to be the "least" in anything at the cost of holder higher standards. A zero sum game where everyone is a loser.
Were training our boys wrong
The boy crisis needs a bipartisan approach to tackle
I completely agree but in a manner that does not make the boy feel intimidated
There is some truth in Caroline's theory, but her argument has some few weaknesses. Firstly, it does not consider the contemporary social context. Presently, many women value a man's success in terms of his wealth. If he is broke, ladies give him a wide berth. In essence. women rarely pause to evaluate the personality of a man; rather, they look at the outside. In my opinion, that is one reason bad boys with money to burn every weekend and nice cars have tons of girls following them. It is interesting to note that some girls do not mind being played, as long as their men provide for them financially. Do sponsors cross your mind? On the other hand, the virtuous guy working hard as a cashier at a supermarket barely gets noticed. Secondly even as our mothers teach their daughters how to be successful, they fail to coach them on how to be wives. Therefore, successful women are not willing to play second fiddle to their husbands.Indeed, there are instances where marriages break when the wife becomes financially successful. Why? In effect, it is easy to blame it all on men, it is the dysfunctional social system that is the villain really,
I am seven months late to this but I will reply anyway. I believe Caroline was talking about 'women' and not girls and those who are ready to 'settle' not those still looking to date and enjoy themselves. Also, this argument of women look for money and sponsors does not apply to all same case with what Caroline is talking about does not apply to all.
Caroline, in our current society no one is raising their children to be a Husband or wife, that is the bitter truth, our societal roles are no longer those of 19th century , where the main goal of our existence dependented upon our offsprings, its hash to try to and compere us millennials to baby boomers, Education ,cereer and individualism are the subscribers of the 21st century. No one is thinking how is my child going to be the best wife or husband , nope , Priorities are; am I able to take my children to school, are they able to get a decent meal, How am I preparing them to face this crazy co-oparate world and Globalization.
Yes indeed.now that I agree with u.there is nothing like raising a better wife.all I see is am.raising a pilot,a president,a doctor or even a CEO.
Zeddy T Hey Zeddy, just because "they" ain't doing it, doesn't mean others aren't. I am not a mother myself but i have four wonderful nephews whom by the way we are raising to be providers, protectors, future leaders who will influence our societies. The equivalent of them, i.e the girls are raised the same, empowered, to be future leaders who will influence. The only difference is, the roles and the expectations placed on them differ. My nephews (the oldest being 8), are already aware that they need to be a leaders and behave like a men. The eldest opens the car door for the little sister and brother, he removes the garbage bag and he cleans after himself. The girl on the hand is always in the kitchen cooking and helping mummie out. Their roles are well distinct and well communicated! Parenting is not for the faint hearted and we must raise up and raise men who will treat our daughters with respect, dignity and love. men who are secure in whom they are, men who know their roles in the society and at home, men who are not threatened by the empowered girl, men who can bring about the more desired redemption. Its possible, am doing it with my nephews and i will do it with my sons, if God pleases to bless me with them! Lets call out the Manhood in our boys. I am struggling to find my match, but i am determined to raise men who will marry our daughters!
Totally disagree here
I beg to disagree a bit.In as much as we all agree there is a global boycrisis we also need to appreciate that there are parents who have raised great men.Nobody should fail to get married just because there is a boy crisis.we have testimonies of amazing women who have found their equivalent.Lets be objective here,as we acknowledge the crisis ,lets not lose sight of the fact that there are parents who have raised great men in this country n beyond.#mytake.
Japheth Mutungi Some countries have more men than women ChinaIf i am single i can try to think out of the box. Even though i won't have a chance to travel i can check on the net
Its interesting that after watching this amazing clip, I had to come across this bit.ly/1UmMNMP I hope the mother/father isn't around there. What sort of a man would this turn to?
Sasa hapa umepotea kabisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Let me tell you caroline mutoko, equivalent man, to you would be a CEO, a managing director or a politician, MONEY MONEY MONEY,,,,, In reality its about a chance, believe you me. Even without you Radio Africa would have another star, the company would still make profit. If you didnt look good, then brains comes next, that person who gave you a chance your only first chance. You wouldn't have made it, its preparation for an opportunity plus luck, so an equivalent man, raised by a woman for you, is the guy you are dismissing because he might be an honest civil servant earning a net of 100k, driving a premio or a VITZ like Mutunga before he was the chief justice. Be honest with yourself.
KIBET JORAM I felt the same. What she says is a fallacy trumped up by the feminists. If you follow the money as a man's measure of success and ambition, you will miss a lot of great people whose interests are in humanity not capitalist. She needs to tone it down or invite someone to counter her. There is not just one truth black or white life is more of grey mish mash of the two. Women take this piece of advice with a pinch of salt.
I dont think so a man is not his status, ie ceo etc . because what happens when he is fired does he stop being a man. A man is a man is a man just what that word means he is industrious, virtueous, Loving, Selfless, caring. self disciplined, we see them every day on TV the knight in shining armor. they never give up in pursuit of providing for their women and children. they never give up in protecting their wives and children. they are prayerful. and they are warriors. its not about the money.
The only thing you guys got out of this, is money???
KIBET JORAM women do leave rich men , and even while married divorce rich men too . Divorces do cross all financial status ... dont tell me u never hear the rich divorce . There are women who leave rich marriages with nothing but their souls only . Be objective .
@@susanmwangi1709 your words " ... they never give up in pursuit of providing for their women and children. they never give up in protecting their wives and children..." This is the problem. Men are only good if they can be used to make women and children comfortable. Men all over the world are tired of being a utility for women and children. Men are prioritizing themselves, and their happiness by remaining single. Women are getting bitter because men are waking up and realizing how unfair the romantic relationship system is to them.
The only problem is that the expectations put on men are not realistic. I have very good honest friends who work hard and earn a modest income and I have friends who are thugs I cant trust for a second and are millionaires. Guess what the thugs are considered hard working and industrious. So I guess which way should the boy head?
Yes...hii ni kweli...
Caroline, do some research about African societies before the coming of the White man in Africa, roles of men and women in the society
Carol you really mislead most Kenyans. You talked for so long praising Cyton MMF and now you are saying nothing while so many especially women's money is held up with Cyton. What do you have to say now
So the women were single parents for lack of better men.....could'nt that be an excuse of their singlehood as there are better men, only that, not in the same ratio as women?......guess not so soon.
Lady I like your channel but guess what, that right there is what they call ego in its extreme. Simple thing is if you have kids and are not married it means the man couldn't stand you, no offense but looks like your mother forgot one important lesson, and that is "how to be a wife". I heard you talking about bitching rights and bragging rights in the other video, no man wants a bitch and a braggart at that. So lady compose your self, nations are built on families and a woman is a core part of the family. And get a husband... :-)
wewe unaeza chapa bibi. eish...
You, are those men that were not raised to be husbands. you are chauvinistic. you are just a shame, i am sorry but your view on life is myopic!!! does a man have to stand a woman. why cant it be she didnt stand the man. who is a man??????
Atwine Moses Weak excuse of a Man