A Thank You... & Then Bipolar Misery
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Thank you. And sorry about all the bipolar whining.
Thank you with everything I can muster to those who already gave It helped so much ❤ www.paypal.com... OR streamelements...
Help Support / bluntnate
/ bluntnate - / bluntnate
• Please, This Failure N...
I wish I could actually DO something useful to help, but I'm a faceless voice on the internet, so all I can do is offer my love and support. We ALL care about you, Nate. You're not alone.
In reference to the end. I listened and I heard you. My mom has BPD and I understand what you’re feeling and trying to convey. When you swing low it’s like turning off your senses. No color, no smell, no pleasure. When this happens she group texts us kids 20s and 30s that she’s going into hibernation until she feels better. She knows. We know and understand. I know. I hear you. I understand. I know the brain chemistry doesn’t let you stop reeling about nonsense. It’s not as simple as normal people experience it. They CAN say I’m not gonna think about it. You don’t get that luxury.
If it’s any Hail Mary, my mom is 60 and says it gets less like a roller coaster as she ages. It still goes up and down, just not as far up or down when she was younger. I hope you experience this as well.
Much love from South Carolina, USA 🇺🇸
I’m sorry it’s all so tough right now. I really hope you feel better soon. You’re a valuable dude!
This needs to be said... as an ordinary person out there in the ether, in my honest opinion, there is no such thing as a "Failure" as a person. You have difficulties, we all have difficulties. Yours just happens to be doubled, or even tripled, one on top of another, and I can easily manage to imagine, *it is not easy - at all.* Take it one day at a time. If you feel like crud (clean version of the word) one day, then it is so. Let your feelings exist as if they were a separate thing. They will come and go as they please, just as the next day will be better than the last. Keep smiling, try to focus on the blessings in your life, and disregard the not-so-good things. *This is also important - if you need help, never hesitate to ask for it, be it friends, or professional services.*
Well spoken
You say that there's nothing useful here that will help someone else, but hearing someone going through the same thing will help people realise they aren't the only one. It's not a solution, it's not a fix, but it helps.
Sending positive energy and virtual hugs from a person currently grappling with their own mental health hurdles...your honesty and courage is indeed inspirational. Tc xo
I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap, Nate. I have a good friend who's suffered from depression for quite some time, and I've had bouts myself but thankfully for me, it's situational rather than something deeper. Watching this has given me more understanding of what they're going through, so thank you. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that sharing your experiences is helping others. Stay strong, dude!
“Let me be blunt…y”
My wife has several different diagnosis BPD is just one of them. The ever living hell she lives through on a daily basis is not something most people understand. I won't offer any mostly useless platitudes for you, but I really hope you have a good support network around you. For what it may be worth I appreciate your videos and I enjoy your content. I have plain ol vanilla Depression, but it does preset a little differently. It's the numbing kind, it dampens most of my emotions except for anger. I really understand the "Dull" feeling.
I am what I've chosen to call "socially dependant", as in I draw my emotional energy from those around me. Like that energy is the difference between thriving and merely existing. At the same time, I have issues with both generalised anxiety and social anxiety, so even on a "good" day, my natural tendency is to hide inside on my own where it's "safe", even knowing that by doing so I'm denying myself the thing I most need to feel better
When that happens, I become intensely introverted and will hide indoors for extended periods, despite KNOWING that the simple cure is to get out and interact with other humans, I can't bring myself to do it. That knowing that I'm making my situation worse by not taking the steps I know I need to only compounds the problem.
And even with that, from the couple folks I know IRL who suffer from BPD, I know that the shit I deal with isn't a patch on what they have to wade through at the whims of their brain chemistry.
I won't offer my sympathy, as ultimately that don't mean shit, but as a fellow human, I hear you.
Sorry brother, hope you get your spirits up. Found your channel watching a review of a 15 year old camcorder. Thank you for sticking it out putting up content for at least the last 15 years! You rock bud!
I think its good that you are explaining how bipolar depression is not just simply hey I'm really sad. It's very hard for people to understand the overwhelming challenge that it creates. It really disables a person.
Your m43 reviews/content back in the day is how I found your channel. You made me a better photographer and I very much appreciate it. Thanks!!
Sadly all I can offer is emotional support, financially my family struggles to stay afloat. Prayers and good thoughts and vibes to the universe for you and your. I really appreciate that you chose to make this video and open up to your community. Too many watch out fav people on social media and only see the good parts. It helps others with mental illness realize we really aren't alone
20 years ago, I explained the sensation like being trapped in a big wide deep hole.
I could see the sky.
I could screen and shout and claw at the walls to climb but could never make progress.
What I found, for me, was, don't try to escape because that energy you spend makes it harder and you're spending energy you don't have in the wrong place.
And makes the experience more intense.
Accepting it and saying it's ok to be here l, really accepting it helped a lot.
It made me unattached to the sensation and made them last shorter amounts of time.
But! That is only a temporary fix. There's Much more work to have a longer term fix for the down events.
Ho boy. Am I glad not to have had one for years now.
Oh, talking about the experience Is important.
When I went through it, I didn't know Anyone who had but of course others had.
Hearing about the experience helps others understand it exists.
What's next is actually getting professional help makes a massive difference.
Finding the right help, also is extremely important.
Much respect for making this video. God bless you sir.
It's good to see you, Nate.
I don't have too much of worth to say, but I do have a few things that, though probably misplaced with timing, would love to share with you. I can't pretend to know anything about BPD or how it feels, but I know full well how the depression thing sucks everything out of you...
From one of my favourite comedians of all time, Spike Milligan, on his bipolar; "It's a gift and a curse. You get the pain much worse than anybody else, but you see a sunrise much more beautiful than anybody else."
And I've seen it attributed to both Groucho Marx and Spike Milligan but, "Blessed are they cracked, for they let in the light."
Keep shining brightly, Nate.
And I don't know if you know of him, but a long-standing photographer/friend that I follow that, well, you know, the BPD thing. Anyway, his photography work is incredible, and I think you would love it, if you'd want it shared with you.
Take care, rest up, and please reach out if you need.
Love, Light and Peace. (Another Millligan-ism)
Always.
I'm very sorry that you're going through it, I have BPD, I get it how easy it is to slip into a dark place when I really really am trying to be happy
I stayed, I listened and so I learned to be better myself. Thank you. Be you.
22:00 I’m still here through all of the video. I have been lucky enough to only visit that hell and you have described it well enough to be acknowledged by people, but known by others. I appreciate your personality, warts and all. Part of what attracted me to your channel. Reminded me a lot of an Uncle who got me into tech. Even though I’m a voiceless text at the bottom of the screen, I do hear you for the 2 seconds to read this.
I stayed till the end and as someone who suffers from depression this video was very relatable and help normalise my actions at times… thanks
Happy birthday Blunty
Hey Nate, thanks for being open an honest about the current state of thigs. As much as showing your vulnerable self on camera is, perhaps, the last thing you want and would rather put out "real content", this is exactly the kind of weight one sometimes need to take off their shoulders and share with the world - for the others to know what it takes to be a functional human being in today's society whilst dealing with a mental disorder that is crushing one down, on and off, for years. So don't dwell too much on what people get in return, what's important is that you look after yourself mate.
Yeah, it's miserable. For now.
I feel better seeing for myself every now and then, and thus being reminded, that there are people out there who truly understand. It's almost exclusively people with actual experience such as yourself, but still. They exist. You and I exist. It's just a god damn fact that, for better or worse, at least we're not alone in this. There are people who truly understand. We're just too freaking tired to get out of bed and make ourselves known. ;)
You fking Amazing Blunty🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘
Thank you
Hi Blunty,
I've loved watching a lot of the content you've produced over the years, ie: Computing/Gaming/Tech related videos, and to my understanding, a lot of which you've produced because you've wanted to, not because you owe anyone anything.
Only thing i expect from you is for you to be your weird self, and that you want to produce stuff on your own terms. You Owe Yourself.
(I could hear it in your voice, You're hurting. and in the previous cry for help video)
I'm Autistic myself, but not Bipolar, I have no experience with that so i can only try to empathise.
Take Care. Not too abrupt i hope.
I watched to the end as your worth it, you have gave us so much over the years here so your ok to have days off and make vids like this too. I hope you enjoyed your rest after.
"If you make it they will come" I always enjoy your videos, I know you are finding it hard to make them, but people will watch them if you can get them out.
You're a good guy, your videos are just good. I find your voice pretty relaxing, even in this video weirdly enough. A possible video content idea: story readings? I feel like you'd be perfect for it. But I just hope you get in a better headspace. Lord knows I'm in a dark place too and I can't get out. Like I'm trapped and something keeps stabbing at me. Sometimes I just force myself to work out as hard as I can and it puts me in a wild humor. Either way, I'm wishing the best for you. There's not much else I can do.
Hey Blunty! We used to chat at Cons around Sydney. As a fellow autistic person, I totally get those days where you have lost all bits of energy. I've been talking about autism for a while, and if it helps, you may want to check out spoon theory. The word sucks for neurodivergent people like us, and I am rooting for you. not literally, I am not groot.
Solidarity!
EDIT: I did sit around for the entire video and it did help me because i just came out of another temporary dark period. not necessarily bipolar but along the same vein.
You matter to us, Nate.
I'm kind of the same, only I have lupus erythematosus (almost asymptomatic now), I smoke (heat not burn), and I was born a intersex and rare case of true human hermaphroditism (so necessary surgeries that caused a few problems).
I'm not sharing this for "oh, poor me bla bla", only to assure you that, that despite averything, you will pull through; See, you are a great guy, a very understanding type of person, of your own feelings and of others, and in the end, that's what we are most of all, our feelings, our inner self.
I must say that my husband's care for me helps me a lot when trouble hits too, but despite not knowing if you are married (I'm new to your videos, not in time of subscription, but of actually watching and commenting, in fact, I worry I might have said something awful in the past, but can't remember), I'm sure you have people that love you, and those will always be there, hell, even those that watch you too.
I know it's cliche to say this, but here it goes: "It's all gonna be fine friend" :)
Hugs to you.
I can’t even imagine how you feel bluntly I wish I could be there for you it sounds so hard. You must be really strong. If it helps at all the community you built loves you.
Hey Nate, I was trying to find more contact info like an email to start a conversation but couldn't find one. I may not understand how it feels to be bipolar but I do understand a little bit about mental health problems. I am here for you if you ever need to vent or just have a conversation about anything you want. I have suffered with social anxiety my entire life and being introverted and with inferiority complex has left me quite socially awkward and unable to make all that many friends. But things turned really bad during the pandemic because I worked as a carer for elderly with dementia and I have seen to much death in a short span of time, I lived with so much guilt and fear that if I do get COVID 19 I will kill someone and wouldn't be able to live with that. Eventually I quit my job but I was destroyed psychologically. That's when I met my girlfriend and she was the first person to recognise my problems and it made it real and not just in my head. We were expecting a baby girl and it was the biggest dream I ever had, to be a dad, but she didn't make it through the pregnancy and my girlfriend passed away 3 months later. That pushed me to the edge and I drowned myself in work, doing more then 60 hours a week for 3 years with no break, eventually my body started falling me as I tried to ignore my mental health, getting panic attacks from social anxiety, hand tremors and self harm. It all came down to suicide attempts in April this year after which I started taking medications and asking for help. I understand that there is no getting better from Bipolar but please know that you have people who care about you, you are important, you are enough and you are doing the best you can. I really want to hear your opinion on the Pentax Q system all this year later and your enthusiasm for Micro Four Thirds.
Thanks
Thanks mate.
Sorry its not more. I'd missed the previous video so was catching up.
All the well wishes. Can't imagine what you are going through, but i have a few very close friends with the same disorder, and all I usually do, all I can do, is to be there for them if they need me. So, if you need me, or us again, let us know❤
thank you for the insight in your world.
I'm not going to pretend I understand what you are going through as I'm not in your shoes, but I hope that you realise that you have a lot of support on the all platforms you use and that as much as we can virtually, we have your back. I want to say thank you for explaining how you are feeling and for putting it out there, I can see it wasn't easy.
You hit the nail on the head with the physical thing. I have emotional blunting so I never really feel too emotionally sad ( I can't remember the last time I cried) but it effects me physically. Just awful levels of fatigue and feeling like a zombie. Numb to the world.
Blunty, we have clinical depression in our family. That is not to try one upmanship or to pretend to "have all the answers."
Instead, all I have to offer is to add you to my list of family
and friends who are in my thoughts and prayers as they struggle with their issues. And to let you know that while I don't know exactly what you or even they are going through, I know that it is a heavy load and I hope that it is some small point of light to know that at least in some sense you are not alone.
I hope that when your body is not totally shot, the support of your "peeps" out here in cyberspace will be a help.
I don't know why I got this video recommended but I also have BPD II, I used to take Lamotrigine but Lithium worked better, I know the effectiveness varies from person to person. I've been dealing with this since highschool and now I'm in my mid 30s. I hope you get better.
NOT GONNA LIE, it means, the next statement is one that someone might THINK one may lie about, but I am aserting that I am not going to lie about it. It is not a confesion that I might be lying, but even if I am super honest, I do not know in advance if u might THINK that I am lying posisble. I want to reasure you, not to even think of me lying, especially becuaae now that I have mentioneed it, it would be even less likely ot be lying after the prewarning.
I can only speak for myself, but you do not need to feel like "oweing" me somethink for my help! Nevertheless its nice hearing from you and that our help reaches you 🙂
Nate, I have not been around much, but I still follow and check out your videos. Nothing I can say will help, but I still want to show my support. You may think no one would watch the full video, but there are those who will as they want to support you. Those with normal brain wiring and empathy are trying to understand and learn, even if we don't always get the same interpretation.
Hope you're doin well Fish 👍
"theburgerkrieg" has a pretty good video "thats how depression feels like, pretty good content too, else but.
I personally would describe it as black hole that saps and warps anything in the negative that makes it soo much effort and energy to do anything, and a lot work to even remotely counter a bit that warpung gravity of depression.
i am fine, i just, black hole with its warping field of gravity sapping anything positive is a good meetaphor?
Sorry if I contributed at all with my comment on your last video. It definitely wasn't my intention. I'm glad you were able to get the help you need...at least you have a following that will support you when you need it.
Anyone who cared enough to help knows you don't owe them anything fast... Take all the time you need or not . :)
I don't know if it will help you but it sounds like you lack longer term dreams ... Invent one... Start a novel or any low impact longer term goal ... You can always abandon it when of if needed but invent some reason to look forward to five years from now ... good luck
Its not a lack of imagination mate, it's a PHYSICAL, BIOLOGICAL, NEUROCHEMICAL disorder that physically manifests in the very structure of my brain.... No amount of "dreaming about writing a novel" changes anything about how it works.
When comparing life expentancy, average does not make for a very useful number. U need to check out the life expectance of those that die naturally is a much better figure. Anyhoo, hang in there, do what u gotta do to get through it.
On top of that, statistics aren't determinative. You never fully really know what's in store for you in life
Is your sleep affected as well?
Each person is affected differently like you said. Do not group your self with the statistic. You are so brave and strong for doing this. You inspire others to continue.
The immediate tangent this video went on was just like a twitch stream which gave me a wry grin.
Its great to hear that the community came out to help again and we are here on youtube and twitch because we enjoy your content and your company. Thank you and i hope to con Text-to-Speech with "Gamepass Gamepass Gamepass" on stream again.-Fulcrum92
The classic Blunty "Roomba of thought" bounces off a nearby chair.
@@BluntyTV 'Roomba of thought" 😂 I love that
It's a little mini-meme on mt twitch streams, we even have a special little animation & emote for it '😅
1
You need to seek help from a medical proefessional who speciualizes in bi-polar deprtession. There are numerous medications availalbed to treat this disorder and would also recomend cognitive behavioral therapy.
Gee whizz... if only I'd thought of that in the TWENTY FUCKING YEARS since I was diagnosed by a medical professional.
Thanks for your "insightful" "aDvIcE".
There's a bit in the video about people like you. Come back when you get to it.