the stepdad in the first story cant be surprised when the daughter stopped calling him "dad." he straight up said he couldn't be her dad. he got what he asked for and now he can deal with it.
@@kevinnaranek6649 Seems like he was perfectly willing to torch his entire family over semantics and shit he should have kept to himself and taken to the grave. You marry a person with kids whose ex is still in their kids lives, you’re signing up to be a step parent and nothing more and you can’t get upset if your step kids never go beyond a certain level with you. You marry someone with a small kid who doesn’t have their second parent in their life, you’re signing up for something different. Wanting to change the terms 10 years later is just begging to see everything in your life set on fire.
How the EFF can you be in a child's life for TEN YEARS as their father figure and NOT love them? If I were his biological child, I would be so disgusted.
Last story: I remember this one. People dog piled on Op and called him an AH for "never being there for his family" despite only going out _once_ a month, but none of them bat an eye to the fact that his wife went out damn near every week for "Girl's Night" (quotations because considering she was caught cheating, I'm having a very hard time believing she was only with friends when she'd go out)
Wait really? 👀 He literally wanted to take his wife and son every time he went but they refused. I guess his ex wife inadvertently gaslit the whole Reddit community through his post 🤣
@guitarbass22 they did, and I was so mad the whole time with each one 😭 some of them even said going camping with a toddler would be too difficult and I was sitting there exasperated like "The kid's 7! That's plenty old enough!" The wife really was out there indirectly gaslighting the whole community and they fell for it huh 😭🤭
I gotta say, my first thought was to consider maybe OP was spinning it to sound more favorable to himself at first, but when he explained that he wanted to bring his wife and son too, he didn't just go off on his own wherever he wanted, and he only went on trips when his wife allowed it, yeah I'm with OP here.
wait, so people saw his reply giving more context and still decided he was in the wrong? the wife had more outings but complained when OP wanted to indulge in his hobby at all. OP had a job but still helped with the kid, especially during the wife's outings. (it does say the wife did most of the work with the kid, but "most" does not mean "all", and when you have a job, you have less time to help at home or have fun). OP even offered to take them both with him. I would have just suggested that OP takes the kid on his trips, possibly while the wife hangs out with her friends. but, housewife good, working husband lazy, according to reddit. even when there's blatant hypocrisy coming from the wife.
Reddit sometimes has the wildest freaking takes out there. I think it is a mob mentality case or people just not reading the story correctly because they go off the deep end so far at times that I am shocked by the conclusions they arrive at.
Oh my gosh, poor Hannah. This isn't just the rug being pulled out from under her just days after her 16th birthday, a whole all of the foundation of her identity just crumbled and Mike has the audacity to be frustrated that he no longer has the same standing in her life? My goodness.
The weirdest part to me was the fact that Mike seemed to think that saying what he did wouldn't change their relationship for some reason. Seeing as he kept getting upset whenever she would not call him dad. It feels like there's something major that's not part of this story that would connect those dots somehow
Poor girl didn’t just get the rug pulled out from her, her mother wound up getting her a beautiful rug for her room, that rug then came alive pulled itself out from underneath her, rolled her up in a SECOND rug, and then the first rug then got a THIRD rug, rolled it up and then proceeded to beat that girl with third rolled up rug
I feel bad for her too. Her mom *definitely* should have had that conversation with her husband before that point. It never should have gone down like that.
@@seekeroftruth6728 from what information we have from the story it doesn't seem like the idea of adoption came up until the daughter said she wanted him to adopt her.
That last story, holy geez. How many times was Wife's weekly "Girls Night" actually her boinking the coworker? He "camps so much?" Dude gets out _maybe_ once a *month.* What wild delusion and entitlement possesses this woman?
Projection. Nobody likes being wrong. So when they do something incredibly, obviously wrong, people convince themselves they are right by telling themselves someone else is doing something more wrong or did something just as wrong first. Cheaters will claim that their spouse was neglectful or also cheating even if the spouse never did even the slightest thing wrong, so they won't feel bad cheating. Considering how she acted when caught, she's been telling herself those lies long enough for them to become her reality.
Ikr? I heard this story before and many commenters were YTA and NTA. And once OP posted an update and everyone that said YTA backpedaled and said (in Rslash Karen voice) "this is fake and predictable".
Mike just wants the satisfaction of being the girl's father without the responsibility. This is baffling to me, especially since he basically raised her and has a daughter of his own. Everything that befalls that family is his fault.
He raised that kid just as well as his own. He seems more insecure about Adoption because he feels it would be unfair to her when he does not feel the same love as for his bio kids
@:20 "He promised me he loved her and would treat her like his own, and he seems like he has." It sounds like he was fulfilling the reasonable roles and responsibilities of a step-father until the subject of becoming her actual legal father was brought up. Unless we are going to hold that everyone who gets into a marriage with someone who already has kids is obligated to adopt them if there is no legal impediment which prevents it, which I don't think we can reasonably do, I also don't see how "everything" that went wrong here can be laid at this man's feet.
There was a similar story that happened several years ago. Daughter kicks out and abandons her son for coming out, forcing him to move in with his grandfather. The grandfather gladly took him in, and he wrote a letter to his daughter. In a nutshell, he called *her* an abomination and disowned her, and he ended the letter with "If you ever find your heart, give us a call."
Story 1: I'm confused why is Mike mad that she stopped calling him Dad if that's not how he sees their relationship? Did he want her to see him like that but not have the same connection? Did he really think things were going to just stay the same after he revealed that to her? I'm really curious to know what he thought would and should have happened after he told this girl that he didn't see her as a daughter.
It feels very much like the stepdad wanted to "have his cake and eat it too" type of thing. It honestly feels like there's some serious emotional baggage that that dude is dealing with that he's not discussing. That man needs therapy.
@@khrishp Probably feels inadequate in some way. Still, he told his wife that he didn't love her (the daughter). He probably didn't realize he actually loved her like a daughter until she stopped calling him Dad. He has to deal with the consequences of his actions.
I disagree. He raised her as his own, and he gets to decide whether or not he legally adopts. That's a HUGE assumption on your part to say that he doesn't see her as a daughter. And don't forget... we're only getting one side of the story here.
@@seekeroftruth6728 He straight up told her (clarifying that I mean OP, not the daughter) that he didn't love her like his other kids and even doubled down on it with therapy. How else is a 16 year old who has been calling him dad for a decade going to interpret that other than "Dad never loved me after all?" He doesn't have to adopt her, but he can't expect their relationship to stay the same after that, and he can't expect a 16 year old to see from his perspective either. He cannot have it both ways, and if he wants Hannah to see him as a father again, or even just a Stepdad, then _he's_ going to have to fix it.
All three stories revolve around one person saying "It's all about me" to various degrees and expecting others to go along with it. And all three OPs tell them "Hell no!".
Well thats every am i the asshole story. R/bestof just seems like a cheap ploy by rslash to read more of them and less malicious compliance and prorevenge
I dated a girl for 10 years, and when I proposed, she had the audacity to say no! She never loved me. She doesn't get to say no. She shouldn't have a say in the matter! -You
@Seeker of Truth no, it's not similar. This isn't about marriage, it's about commitment. And no one said he wasn't allowed to say no. If he didnt want that, he should have been upfront about it rather than get everyone's hopes up. But he raised her for 10 years and promised to love her like his own and even said YES, only to drop this bomb of "actually, I don't really love her like my 'real' bio children" on them. Also, if we're going to compare it to proposing, then it's more like saying yes to a proposal then later that night admitting they lied and didn't want that sort of commitment, then being shocked and angry the relationship didn't go back to exactly the way things were before.
Agreed. My grandma was like this, and I wish she was still here. I know she would've still loved and cared about me since I've come out as trans, when my own mother disowned me. RIP Oma, I miss you. 🖤🖤
Nah, she should’ve taken him in and not attacked the mother like that. She was just being vengeful and petty. This way he’s even less likely to repair that bond one day. All because grandma wanted to feel superior.
@@annabethsmith-kingsley2079 Yeah I'm sorry, no. You don't kick your child to the curb and expect to have that bond ever fully reform. The mom should've been investigated because kicking your child out while they're underage is *child abandonment* aka a literal crime. OP made the right choice. Don't be a dense cabbage and back up a homophobe.
I kinda get where the OP is coming from in the first story. She said she didn’t want to get a divorce at first because she didn’t want Hannah to blame herself for breaking up the family and she didn’t want her younger children to resent Hannah. She was considering her children’s feelings, not her soon-to-be ex’s.
Okay but here's the complex part. I understand the step-dad. There is no obligation to adopt and he has the right to say no. And before you say I have no right to comment, I'm 18f with a step-dad. He hasn't adopted me or my siblings but had 2 more with my mum. He doesn't want to take over the father role even though my siblings sometimes call him dad. He reminds them they aren't his dad. This is a very grey situation, especially if you're in the position of the child.
@Gacha Tana The problem is offering it and then deciding suddenly not to want the official responsibility not that he wanted to draw a boundary in advance
@@gachatana9656 I think the difference is that your stepdad clearly communicates he does not want to be your dad. The husband in the story has been called dad by her for 10 years. I can understand, why the daughter would think he would want to adopt her. Of course he still has no obligation to do so, but he also has to accept that it will crush her feelings for him and change their family dynamic.
@gachatana9656 you're right. However, what makes him the asshole is saying he will adopt and then immediately retracting it. I don't think his feelings came out of nowhere. This was clearly something he's known about himself for years.
Last story: I can't believe the mental gymnastics that woman have to try to justify her cheating. She basically kept OP from going camping even by himself, and the first time in a long time she actually allows him, he catches her cheating and her excuse is "of course I cheated, you're always alway in your stupid camping trips!" Also, OP mentioned his wife used to have 'girls nights', and that makes me wonder if those weren't actually her screwing around with the many possible guys that can be her new child's father. I also feel bad for their son, specially since OP's ex basically abandoned her own son, but thankfully he still have OP, who seems to be a much better parent; Also yeah, the co-worker: is he really okay with starting a life with a known cheater, who will have a child that not even her knows who's the father is, and who also is okay with basically dumping her 7-year old son to do so? If she cheats on him aswell, unlike OP I won't feel bad for that guy, because he knew very well what he was getting into, and is part of her previous misdeeds.
@@oldmanregret No its not. Even if your parents are together it is not like every child of them lives a healthy and successful life. If the parents i.e. force themselves to hold this marriage despite having problems they unavoidable put the stress also on their children which affects their mental grow. On the other side a single parent can focus on a good education for its children and they can become proper adults. It always depends who it is that raises them not if they are two adults or one.
@@lifewuzonceezr actually there was another update too, which I think as in one of the comments of OP’s post. Is turns out that she never was pregnant and it was all a lie, but ther3 was no explanation to why she lied.
*First OP:* That poor girl. I hope OP’s ex’s decision haunts him for the rest of his life. *Second OP:* Shoutout to OP for protecting her grandson from a monster. It’s a shame that said monster is OP’s daughter. Best of luck to OP and her grandson and his doggy. *Third OP:* What an interesting turn of events. At least OP has his son back. As for his ex-wife, karma is a bigger bish than she is. To answer rSlash’s question, I bet the coworker has his own red flags.
OP posted a 1 line update at the end saying "She lied about being pregnant", so there is no new baby. She likely only told that lie to OP to hurt him further, so that one issue isn't a red flag for the AP to ignore... but he is dumb for ignoring the others
WTF MAN! What is mike thinking in the 1st story????? He doesn't see her as a daughter but is upset that she now doesn't want to see him as her dad?????? It's YOU that started this! Even if he felt that way he should NEVER said it to anyone. If he really cared about his family and about his step daughter he would go to therapy alone to try to work those feeling out and never let them destroy the ones he's supposed to protect
There's clearly something inside his brain, some kind of insecurity or trauma that's eating him alive. You can't just act like you love your child for 10 years straight and then suddenly say you don't. He should absolutely go to therapy cause this guy's got some stuff to figure out. You can't just blame him for not doing it tho, it takes a lot of strength to ask for help, especially when it comes to mental health.
First story: I've never heard of someone so oblivious to someone else's feelings as that horrible dad. He's shocked that she no longer calls him "dad"? He said he isn't her real dad! What a clueless, heartless moron!
He never abused her however, and he loves his own kids. There are things that cannot be forced, it would be smarter to share the information in his part when the daughter is an adult though, so the younger siblings gets to have a complete family, else the kids have a right to resent the mum if she insists to have a divorce.
@1mol831 then he never should have said yes in the first place and drawn a line in the sand earlier BEFORE she started seeing him that way. He could have easily set her down at any point before this and made a boundary, but he didn't. He wanted all the perks of being her father, just not the responsibility.
The problem isn't that Mike didn't love OP's daughter. The problem is that he lied that he did all these years, both to OP and her daughter. Trust is demolished after this, and with it, the marriage.
Exactly. How many defending the father aren't paying attention to this fact. TRUST ..... by definition the relationship will change because trust has been compromised. How many of us all remember the analogy about trust the with piece of paper, where they show you a perfect piece of paper and say this is trust, then they crumple it and say go ahead and flatten it back out as best you can, and it will always have little crinkles in it and never again be perfectly flat. That's why he did to the trust that had been developed over the last decade
Yep because every human adult should love every human child as if it was theirs unequivocally without question and if you don't you're an awful person...
@@GreenKnight1982 no, the issue is that the stepdad wants to have his cake and eat it too. Notice how it was mentioned multiple times how he was upset that the daughter he told that he wasn't going to adopt wasn't calling him dad anymore. And was getting upset whenever it was referenced that he wasn't her Dad. What the heck does he want? It's like he wants all the benefits of being someone's father without having to actually be responsible legally for them. That's what makes him a scumbag. Also the fact that he promised and then went back on that promise to a child. That's also what makes him a scumbag.
Yeah because there's no difference between being a father figure and being the father. There are a lot of step parents that have no problem being a parental figure but get uncomfortable with the idea of being an actual parent.
@@GreenKnight1982 100% yes. If you want a father daughter relationship and the idea of them not calling you dad or spending time with you or loving you makes you angry then fuck ya. The dude walked around the house mad for weeks because she stopped calling him dad, because he told her he'll never love her like he loves his kids, and then gets mad about it? No you don't have to love every human but you can't be upset that your step kid doesn't love you AFTER you tell them you don't love them.
First Story: Wait so this man lied to OP's daughter by telling her he would adopt her but then goes behinds her back and says he don’t want to adopt her?! Bro this man is horrible for this. He clearly doesn’t love his step-daughter the way he love his own kids. What makes this even more worst is the fact that he raised this girl with OP since she was 6 years old. Honestly OP, I don’t think this will work anymore. Mike has no reason to complain about the consequences of his actions. He can’t be upset with Hannah don’t want to call him dad. Wow, I’m so sorry for Hannah. My god, this poor girl endured pain after pain Second Story: Easy soultion OP: disown ur daughter. She wants to disown her own son just because he came out as gay?! Bro it is 2022, why is this mindset still going on?! Honestly (and I’m not bashing OP and not saying OP would be like that) I would think OP would have that mindset because she grew up in that timeset; but no, OP's daughter have that disgusting mindset. Wooow, at least she no longer have the right to see her son anymore. Good for OP for cutting contact with those horrible people Third Story: Ugh, I’m glad OP got the chance go get rid of this horrible person. I can’t stand people who cheats and have the audacity to not take accountability for what they've done. OP can do soooo much better than this person. Woooow, so she gaslights OP. Divorce this woman, get full custody, and take everything from this lady. It is not OP's fault, nor will it ever be his fault. WOOOOOOW, so she cheated on OP before and wants to abandon her kid. This lady is the worst of the worst. OP...find a new wife who will love u and ur kid for who y’all are. This co-worker really want to settle down with this walking red flag?!
Given in the third story OP says they're co-workers, if he wanted revenge he could let it slip to her boss that there's a workplace relationship going on.
Tell me about it. I was adopted by my family when I was three after being fostered by them for about two years. They treat me and my sister like we're two of their own. Hell, my family is pretty blended. Mom had two sons already when she married Dad. They had two sons of their own. Then they chose me and my sister. We're all lucky the courts decided to let us be foster failures because I guess the courts usually don't let first-time foster parents adopt their first foster kids. But we had a good judge and a good case worker.
First story: if OP’s husband doesn’t want to adopt his 16-year-old stepdaughter after the possibility had been discussed with her, then he’s lucky she’s only calling him Mike instead of a combo of the Seven Deadly Words You Can’t Say on RSlash.
My cousin also had a child in her teen years where the father wanted nothing to do with them. When she eventually got married to a wonderful guy, her new husband adopted her son and it was such a big thing for the family. I feel so sad for the girl in the first story, and I really hope that things are better for them now...
*My daughter disowned my grandson:* I've said this before and I'll say it again - NO PARENT should have any right to throw out their child for coming out to them.
It took so much for her son to open up and come out to her and return she abused him. I’m glad OP has his back and hope safeguards aren’t in place to keep relatives who side with his “mom” away from him
@@MazzySE37 you are 28, an adult. Unless you are such a disappoinment that still lives on mommy's basement, i don't think their opinion about you could fall any lower.
Story one. My ex had two kids when we married. We were married for over 25 years before we got divorced. Afterwards I realized that I wasn't legally their father, but I immediately rejected that. They are my kids and will always be.
Exactly. The literal opposite of douche in story 1. Because that's love for a kid, it is or it isn't, there's no halfway with children. You are a good man.
My ex had a son who was 4 when I met them. I loved that little boy like he was my own. We had 2 kids together, got married and had another one. I raised 4 amazing kids, all of which I love equally and treat equally. Even though I never adopted my oldest son, he's still my cute little Ewok and I will continue to love him til my last breath. He was, is, and always will be, my son. He is now 33 and has his own stepson that I love as much as my granddaughter.
We live in a times with 99% worthless people - so their word is worthless, they have no such thing as honor and dignity. But somehow they can look at themselves in the mirror and blame others for everything.
She reminded me of my Nan. She would’ve done this for her grandkids. She was always supportive of her gay grandnephew/my gay cousin when he was still in the closet. All she would say about him to us in private, “is I hope L comes out because he deserves to be happy.” RIP Nan, I love you.
Fun fact about the last story there were further updates to the terrible wife where not only did she abandon the sun she had with Op but she eventually banned in the child she had with a random dude onto the previous guy she was with and the funny part was he came crawling to Op and asked him hey man I don't know what to do your wife just up and left me and she left me with this kid you can help me out and I love how Op just told him to go fuck off and figure things out on his own since he's the one who decided to help my wife ruin his marriage to begin with and I love that he even told him you knew exactly what you were marrying and you knew what you were getting yourself into that was like the best part of the extra updates
Story 1: What a cruel man, why did he say yes if he didn't want to adopt her? How can you say you love her as your child but also don't want to see her as his child? Yeah step parents don't have to live their step kids the same as they biological ones but that's not a justification for messing them up like this. Divorced is definitely the best option here, I don't know how you could stay with someone who hurt your child like that Story 2: Imagine being such a disgusting person you'd kick out your own child simply for being born a specific way, I'm glad OP stepped up for him Story 3: Yikes what a nasty woman, abandoning her child and blaming her partner for her cheating just because they enjoy camping? Really? Poor kid and poor OP
Do you think OP had a responsibility as a wife and as a mother to ask him how he felt about it before they put him on the spot like that? I think she's the main reason it went down like that.
@@seekeroftruth6728 No. because he obviously been doing all the dad work without the paperwork and not even as a step parent but his kids are her half siblings, not step siblings. Meaning he’s willing to have an entire family AROUND HER, but isn’t willing to consider her his family? He’s a fucking dick who does not deserve defending
@@seekeroftruth6728 to be fair, he's been her father figure for most of her life, so I can't blame OP for not seeing that coming after that much time as a family.
1st Story: Step Dad deserved it: - Step Dad lied about adopting OP's daughter - OP's daughter treated Step Dad like a stranger that's what Step Dad asked for, right???
I thought story 1 was insane, and I feel bad for the son in story 2, as well as for the OP who now has to essentially disown not 1 but 2 children. But story 3…wow. What a rollercoaster. There were honestly so many instances of gaslighting in that story that I lost count after a while. I’m glad OP fought for full custody, because there were so many red flags that his wife was displaying before he caught her in bed with her coworker that he’d get a 4/5 butthole score if he hadn’t fought for full custody. And yes, I do agree that the coworker is naive and stupid for wanting to stay with her, because what’s gonna stop her from sleeping around in him? Jeez…the recurring plot point in these 3 stories is that a child suffered because of some moron’s actions, and I feel horrible for all of them.
I’m hazarding a guess here, but I doubt that coworker is as naive as he seems. Probably once ole girl gets to a point in the pregnancy where she cant/wont fuck him anymore he’ll just toss her aside. What goes around comes around I suppose
i think staying with a person that has cheated on their former partner is often based in a kind of romantic delousion. like there was no love anymore in that relationship and it is true love that they now share, so that it could only happen coz they are ment for each other. or some other kind of twisted BS Delusion. one can not apply logic and obvious facts to such situations, cheating is an emotional process with various reasons. it can reach from lost love to the partner to just getting ones freak on coz the partner is still loved but can´t deliver in that resort. on the other side the person assisting in the cheating might not interpred the reasons of the cheater correctly and assumes a romantic interest special to his/her person. in a nutshell it is just messy and obvious logics are not aplicable in those situations. personally i would never cheat on my partner, if something is missing communication is key, and lots of troubles can be resolved by communicating and experimentation with the partner. if it is not possible the resolve the issues by communicating, it is best to end the toubeling relationship on good terms before it becomes a messy chaos.
This 1st story infuriates me to no end. As a "step dad" to our 3 oldest I can't imagine thinking let alone saying to or about any of them. We have 5 kids total, the youngest 2 since we have been married. I have never thought of them as step kids and hate the term step. They are all our kids, end of story.
Just because you are a cuckold and a SIMP doesn't mean every man is like that. I am happy he stood his ground,No men wants to be held responsible for another men's mistake. If the roles were reversed you be playing victim card so stop with this bullshit
The guy may not be the beat dude in the world, but he's entitled to his feelings and I don't judge him for not loving his stepdaughter the same as his biological kids. Perhaps I'm being easier on the guy because I'm a stepson who has no love for his father's wife, and is more or less indifferent about his mother's husband.
@@theickster3008 I don't have very much love for my stepdad either, but I still see the daughter's perspective in this. He essentially lied to her about their relationship for a decade. If he didn't love her the same, it should've been made clearer way earlier than this and with the assistance of a child therapist or family counselor.
This happened to me, I was 7 when my mom and dad sat me down and said dad isn't really your dad. He is little sisters dad but not yours. It ruined my feeling of security and sense of belonging. I went to therapy for years and I'm at peace with it. I understand my mother was young and she did what she thought was best. My 'dad' and I rarely speak and he has never met my son who is 18- go figure
Story 3: I'm confused why OP said he wants to take his kid out camping, but it didn't sound like he had been before the 1st update, but then the way he talked about taking his son out camping shows the wife was refusing to let OP take his kid out. Congrats for OP getting full custody, hopefully she gets her just desserts for how she's treated them both.
My friends ex-wife is a serial humper as he calls her and she has been married five times and on her sixth marriage, where she has cheated on all her husbands. Men in our hometown call her hoanual and other nasty names like that. She has six kids and has no idea who the father's are to any of them. They remind me of OPS ex
The story about the Gay boy being kicked out by his mother broke my heart. And kudos to his grandmother! What a wonderful person. When I 'came out" to parents I was already 24 and had a career (airline pilot). I'm 65 and retired now. My father had the worst reaction, at first...but he came around after a year or so. (My parents divorced when I was about 3, FYI).
Story 1: My dad is my step dad. He chose to be there and continues to be my dad. He loves me unconditionally as one of his kids he means the world to me and he makes sure he knows he loves me every day. That man "Mike" doesn't deserve to be your daughter's dad.
That last story, any time a spouce starts treating their SO like crap out of nowhere it's either a mental illness (which is very little) or they're cheating (which is very, highly likely).
Yo what, the first story. My mom had my oldest sister as a teen, met my dad and had my siblings and me. She's not my half sis, but my sister. My dad sees her as his daughter and she sees him as dad. I feel bad for the situation the husband put her in.
My younger sister had her son as a teen. She is now with a man who treats her son the exact same way he treats the two daughters they have together, who is planning on legally adopting him when he and my sister finally manage to tie the knot. Hannah deserves so much better than she got. How can you raise a child for ten years, only to tell them you don't actually love them like a father?
@@seekeroftruth6728 ambush? That's wild.....how stupid does someone have to be to think 'oh I am going to marry someone with kids and then be surprised if they want to be mine' if that's an ambush to someone then they must a live a life of every day being ambushed by the fact the sun comes back up. 🤣🤣
"I manipulated you and your mother ever since you were 6, I've never loved you, it's all been a lie so I could be with your mom, I'm not your dad. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON'T CALL ME DAD ANYMORE????"
@Crickets same and the number of people in the comments not only defending the guy but vilifying Hanna and OP too, is blowing my mind. How people not seeing that THIS this is exactly why we tell people, DO NOT date/marry someone with kids unless you are willing to accept them as your own 100% because of situations like this.
Story 1: He's treating OP's daughter like a second-class citizen. I've been treated that way and it really sucks! OP should get a divorce because things will never get better. Story 2: Why does anyone care if someone is g@y? SMH. Story 3: I could see the cheating coming a mile away! It's good that the kid isn't around that toxicity anymore. What kind of mother abandons her own kid?!
Stories like these about people being unable to love their own children, and readily abandoning those who depend on them the most is one of the reasons why I consider myself a misanthrope.
Story 1: as someone whose father is abusive and lost her real father figure to covid, I feel so badly for that poor girl. In my mid 20s that confusion is devastating enough - I cannot imagine in the slightest dealing with that at 16. What kills me is, if you're not willing to love a kid like your own when you start dating someone then don't waste their time. Don't put up an act. Don't *lie to your spouse and their kid.* Nothing that step father does will ever be right after this - he shouldn't have married OP if he wasn't willing to love her kid as her own. He's now fucked up a child and his marriage. Infuriating.
so basicly any single mother will have to die alone? the guy was being honest. a man won't love a kid asmuch if he knows its from another man compared to his own child. the only mistake he made was being true to his feelings.
I also don't get it. We are not in that family. We don't know their family dynamics. If he doesn't want to adopt her, it is his choice. Did he promise to do it? They cornered him and he was not ready. Tough for the girl though
@hasatamashi nobody cornered him. If he didn't want to he should have just said no. If he didn't want to love his wife's daughter he shouldn't have agreed to the relationship.
@@kaguranaomi8245 sorry but how should a man know his feelings towards a single mother's child in advance? He dated her, accepted that she had a daughter from a previous relationship. He then treated her well. However, he doesn't want to adopt her. She should have talked with him before they surprised him in front of all of their kids. He felt pressured to say yes
So story 1: the only reason Mike doesn't want Hannah to call her "dad," is that he had no uh... "hand" in creating her... but then gets upset that Hannah conforms to his wishes and starts calling him Mike? Wow, what a baby...
Exactly. Mike: I don't want to officially be your dad. Hanna: Okay then I won't call you dad anymore. Mike: she's being so terrible to me by doing what I said I wanted. 🤦🤦♀️🤦♂️
story 2 really hit home of all the bullshit that kid went through at least he has a grandmother who loved him and protected him. hopefully it gets better for him.
Omg that last story just absolutely shocked me she could do that to her son. One thing to cheat, but just to completely dump your child... that's just beyond sad
That stepfather from the first story is a despicable human. It’s clear that even if he agreed to adopt, he would have picked favorites and the daughter would have been the unfavorite. The daughter is likely traumatized for life. It’s definitely time for OP to get a divorce.
Look I get marriage is about both sides being comfortable but what the husband did, man there's no way to excuse the level of betrayal and pain he caused the daughter (I hope she'll be ok in time). Plus that update with the daughter searching for her real dad omg there's no way anyone is excusing him for that level of TA behaviour
My heart absolutely chatters for the 16 year old with the father situation. My mom and stepdad started dating when I was 8 and we never got along (he didn’t want kids) and I didn’t even know my biological dad’s name until I was 19 and in the middle of a therapy session. Unfortunately,he passed before I can meet him. I’m an adult now and I know what kind of damage a situation like that can do to someone. For what it’s worth, I wish I could give the mother and daughter a huge hug ♥️♥️.
I don't get why Mike said yes in the first place. He should've told OP no and explained himself instead of giving the daughter that joy just to rip it away. It could've saved a lot of trouble and heartache
This situation is pretty much the same as the last one you can't force love I'm correct then and I'm correct now he's being honest about his feeling and the wife is in the wrong for divorcing someone over nonsense and by nonsense I mean thinking feeling can be forced
@@BASED877 oh man i knew you would show up! You do have an obsession with adopted children. Once again, godspeed on getting better and not needing to speak every time someone else has a family different than yours. Also hope you work on that obsession with believing you're right no matter what
@@twistysunshine it's not an obsession just correcting people I have no need to change I would react the same if you said the earth was flat accept reality
@@BASED877 last comment on this set until you inevitably return on the next story that has an adopted or otherwise nonbio kid in it and hunt down every single comment you can find (mine here had 7 likes. 7. That means it would be pretty low down. You must have been scrolling a while so you could find every comment that said story 1 or stepdaughter in it. That doesn't sound like obsession to you? Feverishly tracking down every comment that expresses sympathy or support for nonbio kids so you can scream about how they "don't deserve love" and how you're so so right?) But I do think its funny how you change your screen name constantly while arguing the same exact things the same exact way and even continue conversations w the new screen name. This is the 3rd I've noticed in a week. Is it to make people think there are more people who support your messed up worldview? Like the same reason as you like your comments as soon as they're posted?
Second story mad respect to the grandparent. That the parent that young boy needs who will love him and help nurture him into been an Adult. I wish them both and the doggy all the best.
"Disservice to her to have a dad who doesn't love her like he loves his other kids" Husband is being bone headed as fuck in this. The daughter CLEARLY thinks that she's loved enough, however much love he's given her, seems to be enough for OP's daughter. Idk if he thinks he's being pointlessly chivalrous or just plain dumb, but she wants WHATEVER love you have given her. It's enough. There's no way OP Or her daughter would have thought the Adoption to be a good idea if he wasn't. What you're bringing to the table is enough Husband of OP.
That dude definitely seems to need some therapy or something. There's just no direct way to connect the dots that he seems to have made without a whole lot more information.
@@khrishp It would be nice if he made a post on r/AITA. Lol. Then he could at least give more context, though everyone there would probably give him 6/5 buttholes if he couldn’t dig himself out of this hole he dug for himself according to OP.
@@khrishp Maybe he understands that legally adopting somebody is more than just saying "I'm your dad" on a piece of paper. It's a BIG decision, and nobody ever asked him how he felt about it.
1st story: I'm trying to see if I got this right, OP's daughter Hannah turned 16 and as a birthday wish she asks her step father, who she calls Dad to adopt her. He says he yes and everyone is happy, then later he tells OP he can't adopt her and doesn't really want to be her dad. Later he's in the car with Hannah, I'm guessing he told her he can't adopt her. She says message received Mike, and now he's upset that she no longer calls him dad?
You got it right. Baffling isn't it. What baffles me more are the people saying that the 16 year old is in the wrong. Or that somehow Mike was ambushed, the only way he could have been ambushed is if he didn't know the kids existed when he married OP. By definition you have step kids, unless you treat them badly they will one day expect you to want to adopt them. So those people baffle me even more then Mike being surprised that she nows views him differently.
@@KarmaTube5 nowhere near, sadly. Coming out as gay, trans, ace or even just admitting you're atheist. I've known people kicked out for all of those things, over and over.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Thank god I live in an atheist household (I think) and that my mom actually cares about me. I absolutely despise people who kick out their children for being who they are. It's disgusting and should never have happened in the first place
@@Godzilladino Entirely agree. As someone who lives in the UK where (thankfully) atheism is accepted as normal and not a big deal by the majority, despite the fact that we're technically a theocracy, it entirely baffles me how, in a country that was literally founded with the separation of church and state being fundamental to the rights of everyone, that there are SO many people who hate people for their beliefs (or lack thereof). And almost without exception, everyone I know who is both LGBT+ and atheist, and has an extremely religious family, they've said it was much harder (and often had a worse reaction) when they came out as atheist than when they came out as queer of some flavour. It just blows my mind that even since 9/11 and with the rampant Islamophobia and racism, more of the US public would prefer a practising Muslim president than an openly atheist one. They legitimately think we're devil worshippers or Satanists or witches... not that there's anything fundamentally wrong with witches OR members of the Satanic Temple. LOL
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover lol. I personally don't know everything about the US as I live in the Netherlands, but americans sure can be weird (No offense to the americans who don't act like absolute jerks). There's so many religious people who seem to think not believing that an all powerful entity that allegedly created the universe exists is bad or satanism, but we don't even believe in Satan existing
Second story: That is possibly one of the most simultaneously heartwarming and tragic stories I've ever heard. Getting kicked out of your own home period is deplorable but this happening due to religious reasons I find awe-inducing. The idea that someone could put an imaginary figure such as god or the bible or whatever else between them and their child is something I will never understand. However OP taking him in and giving him a room immediately is very touching; she's an angel. On a side note the expressions she uses and the various language quirks remind me of a "Tribe Chief" kind of persona you see in a lot of movies involving Native Americans. Very wise, but not buried in their own ideas. I find it quite charming :33
First story: When my aunt married my uncle, she already had an eight-year-old son (bio-dad was not in the picture). My uncle adopted him the same week he married my aunt. That boy is my cousin in every way but blood. He calls my uncle "dad" and took his last name.
The coworker will leave her as soon as he realises, and it won't take long. Then she'll be calling OP and saying it's his kid and she wants him back 100%
''Don't call me dad'' ''ok mike'' ''how dare you not call me dad'' The mother needs to grow a backbone and choose her daughter over her idiot husband. He CLEARLY doesn't know that they're a package deal. It's infuriating that she's still protecting him over her own daughter.
As a trans woman who had to just hir parents out due to being unsupportive I really feel for the kid in the second story. It's absolutely shameful that any parent could do that to their kid for any reason. What an evil excuse for a human being.
That guy in the first story is just the absolute worst. He destroyed that little girl forever. Even if the mother leaves and then finds a new man who loves both her and her daughter, the daughter already was told that the person who raised her doesn't love her and doesn't want to be her father. It's too late to fix that or fill that hole. She just never gets to have a father now. I hope OP divorces him and gets literally everything in the divorce. I hope his own kids hate him for how he hurt their sister and I hope he spends the rest of his life unloved by everyone in his life so he can know how that daughter feels. What an absolute piece of shit!
Emotional much? Would you rather him lie to the kid. It's a tragic story and rslash is right when he said it was a blunt denial of the kid but Mike has the right to say his feelings. He doesn't love her like his own kids but he can still be a parent to her. He probably still loves her but not parental love.
For the last trainwreck of a story, I bet the ex-wife told her coworker she's pregnant with his kid (if she hasn't disclosed all her cheating history, and like the narcissist I feel that she is, she likely hasn't) so she essentially baby trapped her coworker into potentially raising another guy's kid. Depending on how long ago these posts were written, I give that new relationship 3 months if that....
What did Mike want?! He doesn’t want to be seen as Hannah’s father but he still expects her to call him dad? This guy is a selfish, hypocritical, narcissistic, jerk. He only cares about himself and ignores everyone’s feelings. I hope Hannah gets a better dad than Mike.
first story: 16 years old is sweet kid. Stepdad did mistake not adopting her as she seemed very loving,caring and now she wont have any trust for others. Its heartbreaking and i hope girl will be fine.
First story, personally I find it admirable that op tried to make things work, I don't blame her 1 bit for leaving him. I feel terrible for that young lady, losing the man who raised her because he's a selfish prick, and losing the chance to have an actual father, because HE was a selfish prick too.
Story 1: Watch as the step father comes crawling back or surprised pikachu face this... Im calling it. Reap what you sow... Story 2: S tier grandma. So glad the grandson has a loving grandma like her. Story 3: S tier dad. I was worried that the cheater was gonna be manipulative and try to get full custody and manipulate the kid. But im so glad that's not the case anymore. I ALWAYS wanted to go out in nature and camp with my dad. So I'm happy this kid has someone who loves him.
Story 2: Honestly, imagine learning that your own child just tossed out their child for coming out. That must've hurt. And the fact that daughter only tried to backpedal because her income was threatened (and the weight of the crimes) makes me wonder if she really is sorry for throwing the grandson out. Heck, this whole situation broke the family, based on the update
She doesn’t mean it. Her money is taken away so that’s why she’s acting like she actually cares for once. It hurts me so much to hear a parent find out their child kicked their grandchild out just because they wanna be something they hate. If any of my children did that to my grandchildren, disowned forever, cut everything financial off, and let them rot by themselves. I wouldn’t care if I birthed them.
@everlasting9292 I was thinking the same thing. Like OP loves her grandson even after coming out, but his own mother doesn't, why? Like, I'm sure if OP loves her grandson regardless then she raised her children to do that same, but two of her children thought doing this shit was okay. Like WTF.
@@guitarbass22 forgot the name but: Child Independence Basically, if a child sues for independence from the parents, and wins, half the parents' income goes to the child as income support.
The story with hiking reminds me what happend to my friend. His gf was also against him going mountains, month later he learned she was cheating on him after 10 years of being together.
"My husband hates her calling him by name" What did you expect?? Bro of course she's going to stop calling you dad! You fundamentally broke this relationship and you will never be able to fix this.
First story. It is a no-win. It is awkward to force someone to adopt you and I could see Mike's hesitation, as he doesn't want to disrespect the bio Dad. But sounds like that kid just wants a Dad, can't really blame her.
Story 2: if my son ever did this I'd straight put tell him that I am absolutely disgusted by me and I refuse to have him in my life after that. That's disgusting to throw him on the street like that. Hell I wouldn't want him to be bigoted but if you're gonna be terrible at the least still take care of your kid.
Story 1 - this is going to get me slated, but there was a piece of context left out by rSlash that was very important. The daughter is completely innocent and my heart aches for her and what she went through. She did the right thing and went to her mother about wanting to ask Mike to adopt her. What was left out of the story, was that there was an element of the mother and daughter watching TikTok videos depicting these happy birthday adoption surprises; and that the mother saw a chance to have one of these amazing surprises herself. So she never told Mike what was going to happen, and had the daughter drop the big question at a birthday party with friends and family around, and the camera rolling to capture the whole "wonderful" event. Now put yourself in Mike's position, and really be honest with yourself. Could you have said no with that much pressure suddenly put on you with no upfront notice? Mike's reason for not wanting to adopt his step-daughter was likely BS, but newsflash - of course he feels differently about her than he does his own children. I say this as the only step-child in a family with three children, and as a father myself. Anybody attacking Mike because he feels differently about his step-child is, quite frankly, delusional if they think this is unusual, or wrong. What should have happened, is the mother should have had the good sense, and the common decency to discuss the adoption request with Mike, as soon as her daughter had told her about what she wanted to do. But she didn't do that, because it would have spoiled the viral video moment she planned on having. There is even a chance that if the idea had been introduced properly, and Mike had been given the appropriate chance to consider all the ramifications of adopting his step-daughter (because it is so much more than just a piece of paper and a name change), he may have welcomed the adoption. But he wasn't given that chance, he was ambushed in front of a room full of friends and family. The person responsible for how badly this turned out was the mother. But you only have to read the comments here on RUclips to see that virtually nobody is really thinking about what happened and why Mike felt forced into saying yes to something he wasn't comfortable with. Something that is a huge responsibility, that shouldn't ever be decided in a situation like that.
Honestly, knowing this is a must for the discussion. I've been ridiculed in public in a similar way, and my go-to answer would be no, no matter if it was this or even being given free money, especially if it was something that needed a clear and calm mind, and time to get used to the idea. One could call it childhood trauma, I call it self preservation. I feel like everybody's feelings are valid in this situation, but the cause of it all was not talking about it beforehand, in private, where he could feel safe.
I scrolled quite a bit to find this opinion. I felt the same way when I heard the story. Adoption shouldn't be a surprise. I don't think he's a bad guy- he was put on the spot where they should've had a conversation in private!
1st Story: WOW. What an AH Mike is. You raise and care for a girl, make her feel loved and sees you like a father, only to throw it back in her face. THEN he has the AUDACITY to be sad when she stops calling him “dad”?! His bio children are confused and want Hannah in their lives officially. Poor Hannah runs off to find her bio dad, only to find out he’s dead. Mike freaking single-handedly DESTROYED the family because he thought adopting Hannah would be “weird”. Way to go AH. The Rest of the stories: I didn’t think it was AH Parent Day!
Man, Guy in story one is just plain chickenshit. You're going to raise a kid like that and THEN decide you don't "love her enough" to see her as your daughter? I'd call him a worm, but even those have more spine than he does.
that poor little girl. How could the dad be so selfish and afraid of responsibility hes willing to forget 90% of her voluntary father figure the moment a document is signed. Glad the mum left
the stepdad in the first story cant be surprised when the daughter stopped calling him "dad." he straight up said he couldn't be her dad. he got what he asked for and now he can deal with it.
Exactly
It seems like he was perfectly willing to be her step-dad as untold thousands have before him and also step-mothers in the reverse situation.
He wanted to have it both ways, he didn't care enough to step up to the plate, but liked that he was adored that much
@@MiraTheWarlock well too bad for him that he can't have his cake and eat it, too. Now he has to deal with the consequences
@@kevinnaranek6649 Seems like he was perfectly willing to torch his entire family over semantics and shit he should have kept to himself and taken to the grave. You marry a person with kids whose ex is still in their kids lives, you’re signing up to be a step parent and nothing more and you can’t get upset if your step kids never go beyond a certain level with you. You marry someone with a small kid who doesn’t have their second parent in their life, you’re signing up for something different. Wanting to change the terms 10 years later is just begging to see everything in your life set on fire.
How the EFF can you be in a child's life for TEN YEARS as their father figure and NOT love them? If I were his biological child, I would be so disgusted.
To be fair, most people aren't capable of loving someone else's child like they do their own bio children.
Last story: I remember this one. People dog piled on Op and called him an AH for "never being there for his family" despite only going out _once_ a month, but none of them bat an eye to the fact that his wife went out damn near every week for "Girl's Night" (quotations because considering she was caught cheating, I'm having a very hard time believing she was only with friends when she'd go out)
Wait really? 👀 He literally wanted to take his wife and son every time he went but they refused. I guess his ex wife inadvertently gaslit the whole Reddit community through his post 🤣
@guitarbass22 they did, and I was so mad the whole time with each one 😭 some of them even said going camping with a toddler would be too difficult and I was sitting there exasperated like "The kid's 7! That's plenty old enough!"
The wife really was out there indirectly gaslighting the whole community and they fell for it huh 😭🤭
I gotta say, my first thought was to consider maybe OP was spinning it to sound more favorable to himself at first, but when he explained that he wanted to bring his wife and son too, he didn't just go off on his own wherever he wanted, and he only went on trips when his wife allowed it, yeah I'm with OP here.
wait, so people saw his reply giving more context and still decided he was in the wrong? the wife had more outings but complained when OP wanted to indulge in his hobby at all. OP had a job but still helped with the kid, especially during the wife's outings. (it does say the wife did most of the work with the kid, but "most" does not mean "all", and when you have a job, you have less time to help at home or have fun). OP even offered to take them both with him. I would have just suggested that OP takes the kid on his trips, possibly while the wife hangs out with her friends. but, housewife good, working husband lazy, according to reddit. even when there's blatant hypocrisy coming from the wife.
Reddit sometimes has the wildest freaking takes out there. I think it is a mob mentality case or people just not reading the story correctly because they go off the deep end so far at times that I am shocked by the conclusions they arrive at.
Oh my gosh, poor Hannah. This isn't just the rug being pulled out from under her just days after her 16th birthday, a whole all of the foundation of her identity just crumbled and Mike has the audacity to be frustrated that he no longer has the same standing in her life? My goodness.
The weirdest part to me was the fact that Mike seemed to think that saying what he did wouldn't change their relationship for some reason. Seeing as he kept getting upset whenever she would not call him dad. It feels like there's something major that's not part of this story that would connect those dots somehow
@@khrishp I think he meant it wouldn’t change HIS relationship forgetting that actions have consequences
Poor girl didn’t just get the rug pulled out from her, her mother wound up getting her a beautiful rug for her room, that rug then came alive pulled itself out from underneath her, rolled her up in a SECOND rug, and then the first rug then got a THIRD rug, rolled it up and then proceeded to beat that girl with third rolled up rug
I feel bad for her too. Her mom *definitely* should have had that conversation with her husband before that point. It never should have gone down like that.
@@seekeroftruth6728 from what information we have from the story it doesn't seem like the idea of adoption came up until the daughter said she wanted him to adopt her.
The grandma in the second story is an amazing person. We need more people like her in the world.
"The wheat was separated from the Chaff" Badass
That last story, holy geez. How many times was Wife's weekly "Girls Night" actually her boinking the coworker? He "camps so much?" Dude gets out _maybe_ once a *month.* What wild delusion and entitlement possesses this woman?
And she expects her new fling to raise a child she suspects isn’t his. I also bet she won’t tell him it isn’t his.
Excuses and gaslighting. Plain and simple.
Projection. Nobody likes being wrong. So when they do something incredibly, obviously wrong, people convince themselves they are right by telling themselves someone else is doing something more wrong or did something just as wrong first. Cheaters will claim that their spouse was neglectful or also cheating even if the spouse never did even the slightest thing wrong, so they won't feel bad cheating. Considering how she acted when caught, she's been telling herself those lies long enough for them to become her reality.
Ikr? I heard this story before and many commenters were YTA and NTA. And once OP posted an update and everyone that said YTA backpedaled and said (in Rslash Karen voice) "this is fake and predictable".
She probably wasn't just boinking that co-worker but several other dudes as well.
Mike just wants the satisfaction of being the girl's father without the responsibility. This is baffling to me, especially since he basically raised her and has a daughter of his own. Everything that befalls that family is his fault.
He raised that kid just as well as his own. He seems more insecure about Adoption because he feels it would be unfair to her when he does not feel the same love as for his bio kids
I disagree
@@Owliver0411 explain
@@FEKana inheritance
@:20 "He promised me he loved her and would treat her like his own, and he seems like he has." It sounds like he was fulfilling the reasonable roles and responsibilities of a step-father until the subject of becoming her actual legal father was brought up. Unless we are going to hold that everyone who gets into a marriage with someone who already has kids is obligated to adopt them if there is no legal impediment which prevents it, which I don't think we can reasonably do, I also don't see how "everything" that went wrong here can be laid at this man's feet.
There was a similar story that happened several years ago. Daughter kicks out and abandons her son for coming out, forcing him to move in with his grandfather. The grandfather gladly took him in, and he wrote a letter to his daughter. In a nutshell, he called *her* an abomination and disowned her, and he ended the letter with "If you ever find your heart, give us a call."
Story 1: I'm confused why is Mike mad that she stopped calling him Dad if that's not how he sees their relationship? Did he want her to see him like that but not have the same connection? Did he really think things were going to just stay the same after he revealed that to her? I'm really curious to know what he thought would and should have happened after he told this girl that he didn't see her as a daughter.
It feels very much like the stepdad wanted to "have his cake and eat it too" type of thing. It honestly feels like there's some serious emotional baggage that that dude is dealing with that he's not discussing. That man needs therapy.
@@khrishp Probably feels inadequate in some way. Still, he told his wife that he didn't love her (the daughter). He probably didn't realize he actually loved her like a daughter until she stopped calling him Dad.
He has to deal with the consequences of his actions.
@@goldyd144 yup, I agree. That guy was confused about his feelings, and didn't think it through. Now he has to deal with the consequences.
I disagree. He raised her as his own, and he gets to decide whether or not he legally adopts. That's a HUGE assumption on your part to say that he doesn't see her as a daughter. And don't forget... we're only getting one side of the story here.
@@seekeroftruth6728 He straight up told her (clarifying that I mean OP, not the daughter) that he didn't love her like his other kids and even doubled down on it with therapy. How else is a 16 year old who has been calling him dad for a decade going to interpret that other than "Dad never loved me after all?" He doesn't have to adopt her, but he can't expect their relationship to stay the same after that, and he can't expect a 16 year old to see from his perspective either. He cannot have it both ways, and if he wants Hannah to see him as a father again, or even just a Stepdad, then _he's_ going to have to fix it.
All three stories revolve around one person saying "It's all about me" to various degrees and expecting others to go along with it. And all three OPs tell them "Hell no!".
And the common thread in all of them is the insane gaslighting.
Well thats every am i the asshole story.
R/bestof just seems like a cheap ploy by rslash to read more of them and less malicious compliance and prorevenge
@@IdealIdeas100it’s really not??
He been her step dad for 10 years but when 16 year old daughter wanted to be adopted her step dad was like "she's not my real daughter" screw him
I dated a girl for 10 years, and when I proposed, she had the audacity to say no! She never loved me. She doesn't get to say no. She shouldn't have a say in the matter!
-You
@@seekeroftruth6728 Not remotely similar.
@@Chuckf66 I disagree. Nice screen name though!
@Seeker of Truth no, it's not similar. This isn't about marriage, it's about commitment. And no one said he wasn't allowed to say no. If he didnt want that, he should have been upfront about it rather than get everyone's hopes up. But he raised her for 10 years and promised to love her like his own and even said YES, only to drop this bomb of "actually, I don't really love her like my 'real' bio children" on them. Also, if we're going to compare it to proposing, then it's more like saying yes to a proposal then later that night admitting they lied and didn't want that sort of commitment, then being shocked and angry the relationship didn't go back to exactly the way things were before.
@@Pikapower7 I stand by my comparison
mike: *doesn't want to be his stepdaughter's father*
stepdaughter: *stops calling him dad*
Mike: >:(
We need more grandmas like OP in that second story.
Every gay kid needs an overprotective grandparent. Even if its not their own.
I can only agree.
Best grandmas ever
Agreed. My grandma was like this, and I wish she was still here. I know she would've still loved and cared about me since I've come out as trans, when my own mother disowned me. RIP Oma, I miss you. 🖤🖤
Nah, she should’ve taken him in and not attacked the mother like that. She was just being vengeful and petty. This way he’s even less likely to repair that bond one day. All because grandma wanted to feel superior.
@@annabethsmith-kingsley2079 Yeah I'm sorry, no. You don't kick your child to the curb and expect to have that bond ever fully reform. The mom should've been investigated because kicking your child out while they're underage is *child abandonment* aka a literal crime. OP made the right choice. Don't be a dense cabbage and back up a homophobe.
I kinda get where the OP is coming from in the first story. She said she didn’t want to get a divorce at first because she didn’t want Hannah to blame herself for breaking up the family and she didn’t want her younger children to resent Hannah. She was considering her children’s feelings, not her soon-to-be ex’s.
Exactly
Okay but here's the complex part. I understand the step-dad. There is no obligation to adopt and he has the right to say no.
And before you say I have no right to comment, I'm 18f with a step-dad. He hasn't adopted me or my siblings but had 2 more with my mum. He doesn't want to take over the father role even though my siblings sometimes call him dad. He reminds them they aren't his dad.
This is a very grey situation, especially if you're in the position of the child.
@Gacha Tana The problem is offering it and then deciding suddenly not to want the official responsibility not that he wanted to draw a boundary in advance
@@gachatana9656 I think the difference is that your stepdad clearly communicates he does not want to be your dad. The husband in the story has been called dad by her for 10 years. I can understand, why the daughter would think he would want to adopt her.
Of course he still has no obligation to do so, but he also has to accept that it will crush her feelings for him and change their family dynamic.
@gachatana9656 you're right. However, what makes him the asshole is saying he will adopt and then immediately retracting it. I don't think his feelings came out of nowhere. This was clearly something he's known about himself for years.
Last story: I can't believe the mental gymnastics that woman have to try to justify her cheating. She basically kept OP from going camping even by himself, and the first time in a long time she actually allows him, he catches her cheating and her excuse is "of course I cheated, you're always alway in your stupid camping trips!"
Also, OP mentioned his wife used to have 'girls nights', and that makes me wonder if those weren't actually her screwing around with the many possible guys that can be her new child's father. I also feel bad for their son, specially since OP's ex basically abandoned her own son, but thankfully he still have OP, who seems to be a much better parent;
Also yeah, the co-worker: is he really okay with starting a life with a known cheater, who will have a child that not even her knows who's the father is, and who also is okay with basically dumping her 7-year old son to do so? If she cheats on him aswell, unlike OP I won't feel bad for that guy, because he knew very well what he was getting into, and is part of her previous misdeeds.
There is a badly written update in the comments..
I also wonder if OP is the bio dad of his kid
accountability is kryptonite to a woman... dude dodged a bullet
@@oldmanregret no they do not!!
@@oldmanregret No its not. Even if your parents are together it is not like every child of them lives a healthy and successful life. If the parents i.e. force themselves to hold this marriage despite having problems they unavoidable put the stress also on their children which affects their mental grow. On the other side a single parent can focus on a good education for its children and they can become proper adults. It always depends who it is that raises them not if they are two adults or one.
@@lifewuzonceezr actually there was another update too, which I think as in one of the comments of OP’s post. Is turns out that she never was pregnant and it was all a lie, but ther3 was no explanation to why she lied.
*First OP:* That poor girl. I hope OP’s ex’s decision haunts him for the rest of his life.
*Second OP:* Shoutout to OP for protecting her grandson from a monster. It’s a shame that said monster is OP’s daughter. Best of luck to OP and her grandson and his doggy.
*Third OP:* What an interesting turn of events. At least OP has his son back. As for his ex-wife, karma is a bigger bish than she is.
To answer rSlash’s question, I bet the coworker has his own red flags.
Third OP: ...or the coworker thinks that child is his. Thinking about that kind of woman...
OP posted a 1 line update at the end saying "She lied about being pregnant", so there is no new baby. She likely only told that lie to OP to hurt him further, so that one issue isn't a red flag for the AP to ignore... but he is dumb for ignoring the others
@@MalekitGJ That's what I was thinking. More likely the lady told the coworker that it was his.
@@DSoSJohnH Should at least give the dude the texts so he can bail on her too.
@@MalekitGJ there was one short update that r/Slash didn’t mention. It turns out that she lied about being pregnant.
I almost teared up at the second story. God bless that grandmother.
Just goes to show that being older doesn't inherently equate to being more close-minded.
WTF MAN! What is mike thinking in the 1st story????? He doesn't see her as a daughter but is upset that she now doesn't want to see him as her dad?????? It's YOU that started this! Even if he felt that way he should NEVER said it to anyone. If he really cared about his family and about his step daughter he would go to therapy alone to try to work those feeling out and never let them destroy the ones he's supposed to protect
There's clearly something inside his brain, some kind of insecurity or trauma that's eating him alive. You can't just act like you love your child for 10 years straight and then suddenly say you don't. He should absolutely go to therapy cause this guy's got some stuff to figure out. You can't just blame him for not doing it tho, it takes a lot of strength to ask for help, especially when it comes to mental health.
OP like: Hold on, this whole operation was your idea
First story: I've never heard of someone so oblivious to someone else's feelings as that horrible dad. He's shocked that she no longer calls him "dad"? He said he isn't her real dad! What a clueless, heartless moron!
He never abused her however, and he loves his own kids. There are things that cannot be forced, it would be smarter to share the information in his part when the daughter is an adult though, so the younger siblings gets to have a complete family, else the kids have a right to resent the mum if she insists to have a divorce.
@1mol831 then he never should have said yes in the first place and drawn a line in the sand earlier BEFORE she started seeing him that way. He could have easily set her down at any point before this and made a boundary, but he didn't. He wanted all the perks of being her father, just not the responsibility.
The problem isn't that Mike didn't love OP's daughter. The problem is that he lied that he did all these years, both to OP and her daughter.
Trust is demolished after this, and with it, the marriage.
Exactly. How many defending the father aren't paying attention to this fact. TRUST ..... by definition the relationship will change because trust has been compromised.
How many of us all remember the analogy about trust the with piece of paper, where they show you a perfect piece of paper and say this is trust, then they crumple it and say go ahead and flatten it back out as best you can, and it will always have little crinkles in it and never again be perfectly flat.
That's why he did to the trust that had been developed over the last decade
Story 1: This was a wild rollercoaster, all because the husband doesn't truly love the step-daughter. How heartless
Yep because every human adult should love every human child as if it was theirs unequivocally without question and if you don't you're an awful person...
@@GreenKnight1982 no, the issue is that the stepdad wants to have his cake and eat it too. Notice how it was mentioned multiple times how he was upset that the daughter he told that he wasn't going to adopt wasn't calling him dad anymore. And was getting upset whenever it was referenced that he wasn't her Dad. What the heck does he want? It's like he wants all the benefits of being someone's father without having to actually be responsible legally for them. That's what makes him a scumbag. Also the fact that he promised and then went back on that promise to a child. That's also what makes him a scumbag.
@@GreenKnight1982 I mean it looks like he’s upset that she’s no longer treating him as dad anymore, he can’t have it both ways
Yeah because there's no difference between being a father figure and being the father. There are a lot of step parents that have no problem being a parental figure but get uncomfortable with the idea of being an actual parent.
@@GreenKnight1982 100% yes. If you want a father daughter relationship and the idea of them not calling you dad or spending time with you or loving you makes you angry then fuck ya. The dude walked around the house mad for weeks because she stopped calling him dad, because he told her he'll never love her like he loves his kids, and then gets mad about it? No you don't have to love every human but you can't be upset that your step kid doesn't love you AFTER you tell them you don't love them.
First Story: Wait so this man lied to OP's daughter by telling her he would adopt her but then goes behinds her back and says he don’t want to adopt her?! Bro this man is horrible for this. He clearly doesn’t love his step-daughter the way he love his own kids. What makes this even more worst is the fact that he raised this girl with OP since she was 6 years old. Honestly OP, I don’t think this will work anymore. Mike has no reason to complain about the consequences of his actions. He can’t be upset with Hannah don’t want to call him dad. Wow, I’m so sorry for Hannah. My god, this poor girl endured pain after pain
Second Story: Easy soultion OP: disown ur daughter. She wants to disown her own son just because he came out as gay?! Bro it is 2022, why is this mindset still going on?! Honestly (and I’m not bashing OP and not saying OP would be like that) I would think OP would have that mindset because she grew up in that timeset; but no, OP's daughter have that disgusting mindset. Wooow, at least she no longer have the right to see her son anymore. Good for OP for cutting contact with those horrible people
Third Story: Ugh, I’m glad OP got the chance go get rid of this horrible person. I can’t stand people who cheats and have the audacity to not take accountability for what they've done. OP can do soooo much better than this person. Woooow, so she gaslights OP. Divorce this woman, get full custody, and take everything from this lady. It is not OP's fault, nor will it ever be his fault. WOOOOOOW, so she cheated on OP before and wants to abandon her kid. This lady is the worst of the worst. OP...find a new wife who will love u and ur kid for who y’all are. This co-worker really want to settle down with this walking red flag?!
Why did they go for a ride in #1? not giving her the chance to escape... no way to say: "this is enough i want space"
@@frohenleidfacts like this man made this poor girl have to sit in the car to endure that pain
Given in the third story OP says they're co-workers, if he wanted revenge he could let it slip to her boss that there's a workplace relationship going on.
@@Spanu96 go back to your incel forum
Tell me about it. I was adopted by my family when I was three after being fostered by them for about two years. They treat me and my sister like we're two of their own. Hell, my family is pretty blended. Mom had two sons already when she married Dad. They had two sons of their own. Then they chose me and my sister. We're all lucky the courts decided to let us be foster failures because I guess the courts usually don't let first-time foster parents adopt their first foster kids. But we had a good judge and a good case worker.
First story: if OP’s husband doesn’t want to adopt his 16-year-old stepdaughter after the possibility had been discussed with her, then he’s lucky she’s only calling him Mike instead of a combo of the Seven Deadly Words You Can’t Say on RSlash.
Exactly
Second story:Way to go grandparents! Its terrible what your daughter did to her son, but its fantastic that you "had his back".
My cousin also had a child in her teen years where the father wanted nothing to do with them. When she eventually got married to a wonderful guy, her new husband adopted her son and it was such a big thing for the family. I feel so sad for the girl in the first story, and I really hope that things are better for them now...
*My daughter disowned my grandson:* I've said this before and I'll say it again - NO PARENT should have any right to throw out their child for coming out to them.
Right!?
It took so much for her son to open up and come out to her and return she abused him. I’m glad OP has his back and hope safeguards aren’t in place to keep relatives who side with his “mom” away from him
Well, she doesn’t have that right legally. OP showed that with the legal proceedings she filed against her own daughter.
And this is exactly why even though I'm 28 years old I've never told my parents I'm bisexual cause I don't trust they wouldn't disown me
@@MazzySE37 you are 28, an adult.
Unless you are such a disappoinment that still lives on mommy's basement, i don't think their opinion about you could fall any lower.
Story one. My ex had two kids when we married. We were married for over 25 years before we got divorced. Afterwards I realized that I wasn't legally their father, but I immediately rejected that. They are my kids and will always be.
Exactly. The literal opposite of douche in story 1.
Because that's love for a kid, it is or it isn't, there's no halfway with children.
You are a good man.
My ex had a son who was 4 when I met them. I loved that little boy like he was my own. We had 2 kids together, got married and had another one. I raised 4 amazing kids, all of which I love equally and treat equally. Even though I never adopted my oldest son, he's still my cute little Ewok and I will continue to love him til my last breath. He was, is, and always will be, my son. He is now 33 and has his own stepson that I love as much as my granddaughter.
Why do people make false promises saying they will be loyal, only for them to cheat all of a sudden? That's 10 times worse than just cheating!
We live in a times with 99% worthless people - so their word is worthless, they have no such thing as honor and dignity. But somehow they can look at themselves in the mirror and blame others for everything.
It's never "all of a sudden"
Op is the best grandparent ever and is so accepting
She reminded me of my Nan. She would’ve done this for her grandkids. She was always supportive of her gay grandnephew/my gay cousin when he was still in the closet. All she would say about him to us in private, “is I hope L comes out because he deserves to be happy.” RIP Nan, I love you.
That last story, holy crap. To the dude who kept OP's ex, keep your doctor on speed dial. Sounds like you'll need it.
Camping story: Wife doesn’t like camping but definitely does enjoy wood 🤔😳😂😂😂😂
Not really funny in-context, man...
almost choked on the food i was eating after i read this
@@Wondrous.Wizard I was trying to eat while texting this joke 😂
@@mr.x991 Unfortunately it’s the truth. She was cheating with her coworker and got pregnant by someone else 🤔
@@mr.x991nah
Fun fact about the last story there were further updates to the terrible wife where not only did she abandon the sun she had with Op but she eventually banned in the child she had with a random dude onto the previous guy she was with and the funny part was he came crawling to Op and asked him hey man I don't know what to do your wife just up and left me and she left me with this kid you can help me out and I love how Op just told him to go fuck off and figure things out on his own since he's the one who decided to help my wife ruin his marriage to begin with and I love that he even told him you knew exactly what you were marrying and you knew what you were getting yourself into that was like the best part of the extra updates
EVEN BETTER: she was LYING about the pregnancy.
@@stellarkirbo lying how? She actually gave birth, so are you referring to how she probably lied about the father?
I searched, only found the comment about the ex lying about the pregnancy. Didn't find any other updates.
@@Alakaizer same. It's pretty unbelievable. This woman.
She cheats, abandons, and does it all over again.
My God. What is wrong with her?
@@ArcanineEspeon OP left a comment just saying “she lied about the pregnancy.”
No further elaboration.
Story 1: What a cruel man, why did he say yes if he didn't want to adopt her? How can you say you love her as your child but also don't want to see her as his child? Yeah step parents don't have to live their step kids the same as they biological ones but that's not a justification for messing them up like this. Divorced is definitely the best option here, I don't know how you could stay with someone who hurt your child like that
Story 2: Imagine being such a disgusting person you'd kick out your own child simply for being born a specific way, I'm glad OP stepped up for him
Story 3: Yikes what a nasty woman, abandoning her child and blaming her partner for her cheating just because they enjoy camping? Really? Poor kid and poor OP
Do you think OP had a responsibility as a wife and as a mother to ask him how he felt about it before they put him on the spot like that? I think she's the main reason it went down like that.
@@seekeroftruth6728 This
@@seekeroftruth6728 No. because he obviously been doing all the dad work without the paperwork and not even as a step parent but his kids are her half siblings, not step siblings. Meaning he’s willing to have an entire family AROUND HER, but isn’t willing to consider her his family? He’s a fucking dick who does not deserve defending
Ignore these trolls
@@seekeroftruth6728 to be fair, he's been her father figure for most of her life, so I can't blame OP for not seeing that coming after that much time as a family.
1st Story: Step Dad deserved it:
- Step Dad lied about adopting OP's daughter
- OP's daughter treated Step Dad like a stranger
that's what Step Dad asked for, right???
Exactly.
I thought story 1 was insane, and I feel bad for the son in story 2, as well as for the OP who now has to essentially disown not 1 but 2 children. But story 3…wow. What a rollercoaster. There were honestly so many instances of gaslighting in that story that I lost count after a while. I’m glad OP fought for full custody, because there were so many red flags that his wife was displaying before he caught her in bed with her coworker that he’d get a 4/5 butthole score if he hadn’t fought for full custody. And yes, I do agree that the coworker is naive and stupid for wanting to stay with her, because what’s gonna stop her from sleeping around in him? Jeez…the recurring plot point in these 3 stories is that a child suffered because of some moron’s actions, and I feel horrible for all of them.
I’m hazarding a guess here, but I doubt that coworker is as naive as he seems. Probably once ole girl gets to a point in the pregnancy where she cant/wont fuck him anymore he’ll just toss her aside. What goes around comes around I suppose
i think staying with a person that has cheated on their former partner is often based in a kind of romantic delousion.
like there was no love anymore in that relationship and it is true love that they now share, so that it could only happen coz they are ment for each other.
or some other kind of twisted BS Delusion.
one can not apply logic and obvious facts to such situations, cheating is an emotional process with various reasons.
it can reach from lost love to the partner to just getting ones freak on coz the partner is still loved but can´t deliver in that resort.
on the other side the person assisting in the cheating might not interpred the reasons of the cheater correctly and assumes a romantic interest special to his/her person.
in a nutshell it is just messy and obvious logics are not aplicable in those situations.
personally i would never cheat on my partner, if something is missing communication is key, and lots of troubles can be resolved by communicating and experimentation with the partner.
if it is not possible the resolve the issues by communicating, it is best to end the toubeling relationship on good terms before it becomes a messy chaos.
This 1st story infuriates me to no end. As a "step dad" to our 3 oldest I can't imagine thinking let alone saying to or about any of them. We have 5 kids total, the youngest 2 since we have been married. I have never thought of them as step kids and hate the term step. They are all our kids, end of story.
Love your attitude(?). Sounds like your kids are as lucky as I was with my Pops.
@@livingdivanized
Thank you. I try to be the best dad I can.
Just because you are a cuckold and a SIMP doesn't mean every man is like that. I am happy he stood his ground,No men wants to be held responsible for another men's mistake. If the roles were reversed you be playing victim card so stop with this bullshit
The guy may not be the beat dude in the world, but he's entitled to his feelings and I don't judge him for not loving his stepdaughter the same as his biological kids.
Perhaps I'm being easier on the guy because I'm a stepson who has no love for his father's wife, and is more or less indifferent about his mother's husband.
@@theickster3008 I don't have very much love for my stepdad either, but I still see the daughter's perspective in this. He essentially lied to her about their relationship for a decade. If he didn't love her the same, it should've been made clearer way earlier than this and with the assistance of a child therapist or family counselor.
This happened to me, I was 7 when my mom and dad sat me down and said dad isn't really your dad. He is little sisters dad but not yours.
It ruined my feeling of security and sense of belonging. I went to therapy for years and I'm at peace with it. I understand my mother was young and she did what she thought was best. My 'dad' and I rarely speak and he has never met my son who is 18- go figure
Story 3: I'm confused why OP said he wants to take his kid out camping, but it didn't sound like he had been before the 1st update, but then the way he talked about taking his son out camping shows the wife was refusing to let OP take his kid out. Congrats for OP getting full custody, hopefully she gets her just desserts for how she's treated them both.
My friends ex-wife is a serial humper as he calls her and she has been married five times and on her sixth marriage, where she has cheated on all her husbands. Men in our hometown call her hoanual and other nasty names like that. She has six kids and has no idea who the father's are to any of them. They remind me of OPS ex
The story about the grandma protecting her grandson literally brought me to tears. Her grandson will be just fine with her protecting him.❤
The story about the Gay boy being kicked out by his mother broke my heart. And kudos to his grandmother! What a wonderful person. When I 'came out" to parents I was already 24 and had a career (airline pilot). I'm 65 and retired now. My father had the worst reaction, at first...but he came around after a year or so. (My parents divorced when I was about 3, FYI).
Story 1: My dad is my step dad. He chose to be there and continues to be my dad. He loves me unconditionally as one of his kids he means the world to me and he makes sure he knows he loves me every day. That man "Mike" doesn't deserve to be your daughter's dad.
That last story, any time a spouce starts treating their SO like crap out of nowhere it's either a mental illness (which is very little) or they're cheating (which is very, highly likely).
Actually you have to be mentally ill to justify an affair
Yo what, the first story.
My mom had my oldest sister as a teen, met my dad and had my siblings and me. She's not my half sis, but my sister. My dad sees her as his daughter and she sees him as dad.
I feel bad for the situation the husband put her in.
They did kind of ambush him. OP should have had this discussion with him at some point in the *10 YEARS* he spent raising her.
My younger sister had her son as a teen. She is now with a man who treats her son the exact same way he treats the two daughters they have together, who is planning on legally adopting him when he and my sister finally manage to tie the knot. Hannah deserves so much better than she got. How can you raise a child for ten years, only to tell them you don't actually love them like a father?
@@seekeroftruth6728 ambush? That's wild.....how stupid does someone have to be to think 'oh I am going to marry someone with kids and then be surprised if they want to be mine' if that's an ambush to someone then they must a live a life of every day being ambushed by the fact the sun comes back up. 🤣🤣
Story 3: if I was OP, I’d get a paternity test for the son. It’s possible that those “girls weekends/night outs” were actually her cheating on him.
I just said that..sorta
Not to mention an STI screen. Jesus.
"I manipulated you and your mother ever since you were 6, I've never loved you, it's all been a lie so I could be with your mom, I'm not your dad. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON'T CALL ME DAD ANYMORE????"
@Crickets same and the number of people in the comments not only defending the guy but vilifying Hanna and OP too, is blowing my mind. How people not seeing that THIS this is exactly why we tell people, DO NOT date/marry someone with kids unless you are willing to accept them as your own 100% because of situations like this.
Story 1: He's treating OP's daughter like a second-class citizen. I've been treated that way and it really sucks! OP should get a divorce because things will never get better. Story 2: Why does anyone care if someone is g@y? SMH. Story 3: I could see the cheating coming a mile away! It's good that the kid isn't around that toxicity anymore. What kind of mother abandons her own kid?!
Stories like these about people being unable to love their own children, and readily abandoning those who depend on them the most is one of the reasons why I consider myself a misanthrope.
Story 1: as someone whose father is abusive and lost her real father figure to covid, I feel so badly for that poor girl. In my mid 20s that confusion is devastating enough - I cannot imagine in the slightest dealing with that at 16.
What kills me is, if you're not willing to love a kid like your own when you start dating someone then don't waste their time. Don't put up an act. Don't *lie to your spouse and their kid.* Nothing that step father does will ever be right after this - he shouldn't have married OP if he wasn't willing to love her kid as her own. He's now fucked up a child and his marriage. Infuriating.
so basicly any single mother will have to die alone? the guy was being honest. a man won't love a kid asmuch if he knows its from another man compared to his own child. the only mistake he made was being true to his feelings.
I also don't get it. We are not in that family. We don't know their family dynamics. If he doesn't want to adopt her, it is his choice. Did he promise to do it? They cornered him and he was not ready. Tough for the girl though
@hasatamashi nobody cornered him. If he didn't want to he should have just said no. If he didn't want to love his wife's daughter he shouldn't have agreed to the relationship.
@@kaguranaomi8245 sorry but how should a man know his feelings towards a single mother's child in advance? He dated her, accepted that she had a daughter from a previous relationship. He then treated her well. However, he doesn't want to adopt her. She should have talked with him before they surprised him in front of all of their kids. He felt pressured to say yes
@@maartendetemmerman393 speak for urself weirdo, lmao.
So story 1: the only reason Mike doesn't want Hannah to call her "dad," is that he had no uh... "hand" in creating her... but then gets upset that Hannah conforms to his wishes and starts calling him Mike? Wow, what a baby...
Edit: him, not her
Exactly.
Mike: I don't want to officially be your dad.
Hanna: Okay then I won't call you dad anymore.
Mike: she's being so terrible to me by doing what I said I wanted.
🤦🤦♀️🤦♂️
Story 1: Oh Jesus I sincerely hope that girl seeks help. Poor thing.
My heart broke for both children in these three story. Hannah and op's son deserve so much better
I feel so sorry for that teenager.
story 2 really hit home of all the bullshit that kid went through at least he has a grandmother who loved him and protected him. hopefully it gets better for him.
Omg that last story just absolutely shocked me she could do that to her son. One thing to cheat, but just to completely dump your child... that's just beyond sad
That stepfather from the first story is a despicable human. It’s clear that even if he agreed to adopt, he would have picked favorites and the daughter would have been the unfavorite. The daughter is likely traumatized for life. It’s definitely time for OP to get a divorce.
Look I get marriage is about both sides being comfortable but what the husband did, man there's no way to excuse the level of betrayal and pain he caused the daughter (I hope she'll be ok in time).
Plus that update with the daughter searching for her real dad omg there's no way anyone is excusing him for that level of TA behaviour
My heart absolutely chatters for the 16 year old with the father situation. My mom and stepdad started dating when I was 8 and we never got along (he didn’t want kids) and I didn’t even know my biological dad’s name until I was 19 and in the middle of a therapy session. Unfortunately,he passed before I can meet him. I’m an adult now and I know what kind of damage a situation like that can do to someone. For what it’s worth, I wish I could give the mother and daughter a huge hug ♥️♥️.
I don't get why Mike said yes in the first place. He should've told OP no and explained himself instead of giving the daughter that joy just to rip it away. It could've saved a lot of trouble and heartache
Exactly
Story 1: Really sad what this guy did to this poor 16 year old. If you don't want the kid, you should never get w someone who already has them
Exactly.
This situation is pretty much the same as the last one you can't force love I'm correct then and I'm correct now he's being honest about his feeling and the wife is in the wrong for divorcing someone over nonsense and by nonsense I mean thinking feeling can be forced
@@BASED877 oh man i knew you would show up! You do have an obsession with adopted children.
Once again, godspeed on getting better and not needing to speak every time someone else has a family different than yours. Also hope you work on that obsession with believing you're right no matter what
@@twistysunshine it's not an obsession just correcting people I have no need to change I would react the same if you said the earth was flat accept reality
@@BASED877 last comment on this set until you inevitably return on the next story that has an adopted or otherwise nonbio kid in it and hunt down every single comment you can find
(mine here had 7 likes. 7. That means it would be pretty low down. You must have been scrolling a while so you could find every comment that said story 1 or stepdaughter in it. That doesn't sound like obsession to you? Feverishly tracking down every comment that expresses sympathy or support for nonbio kids so you can scream about how they "don't deserve love" and how you're so so right?)
But I do think its funny how you change your screen name constantly while arguing the same exact things the same exact way and even continue conversations w the new screen name. This is the 3rd I've noticed in a week. Is it to make people think there are more people who support your messed up worldview? Like the same reason as you like your comments as soon as they're posted?
Second story mad respect to the grandparent. That the parent that young boy needs who will love him and help nurture him into been an Adult. I wish them both and the doggy all the best.
I don't understand why the husband would ever mention how he felt. In what world was that a good idea?
"Disservice to her to have a dad who doesn't love her like he loves his other kids"
Husband is being bone headed as fuck in this. The daughter CLEARLY thinks that she's loved enough, however much love he's given her, seems to be enough for OP's daughter. Idk if he thinks he's being pointlessly chivalrous or just plain dumb, but she wants WHATEVER love you have given her. It's enough.
There's no way OP Or her daughter would have thought the Adoption to be a good idea if he wasn't. What you're bringing to the table is enough Husband of OP.
That dude definitely seems to need some therapy or something. There's just no direct way to connect the dots that he seems to have made without a whole lot more information.
@@khrishp It would be nice if he made a post on r/AITA. Lol. Then he could at least give more context, though everyone there would probably give him 6/5 buttholes if he couldn’t dig himself out of this hole he dug for himself according to OP.
@@khrishp Maybe he understands that legally adopting somebody is more than just saying "I'm your dad" on a piece of paper. It's a BIG decision, and nobody ever asked him how he felt about it.
@@seekeroftruth6728 exactly! And this is coming from out of nowhere, I almost wonder if the daughter has an ulterior motive.
@@mitchell4681 What ulterior motive would that be? I'm literally asking, cause i can't think of anything.
1st story: I'm trying to see if I got this right, OP's daughter Hannah turned 16 and as a birthday wish she asks her step father, who she calls Dad to adopt her. He says he yes and everyone is happy, then later he tells OP he can't adopt her and doesn't really want to be her dad. Later he's in the car with Hannah, I'm guessing he told her he can't adopt her. She says message received Mike, and now he's upset that she no longer calls him dad?
You got it right. Baffling isn't it. What baffles me more are the people saying that the 16 year old is in the wrong. Or that somehow Mike was ambushed, the only way he could have been ambushed is if he didn't know the kids existed when he married OP. By definition you have step kids, unless you treat them badly they will one day expect you to want to adopt them. So those people baffle me even more then Mike being surprised that she nows views him differently.
It’s stupid that we still live in a time where people get kicked out of there homes for coming out to their family
I thought we were past that
@@KarmaTube5 nowhere near, sadly. Coming out as gay, trans, ace or even just admitting you're atheist. I've known people kicked out for all of those things, over and over.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Thank god I live in an atheist household (I think) and that my mom actually cares about me. I absolutely despise people who kick out their children for being who they are. It's disgusting and should never have happened in the first place
@@Godzilladino Entirely agree. As someone who lives in the UK where (thankfully) atheism is accepted as normal and not a big deal by the majority, despite the fact that we're technically a theocracy, it entirely baffles me how, in a country that was literally founded with the separation of church and state being fundamental to the rights of everyone, that there are SO many people who hate people for their beliefs (or lack thereof). And almost without exception, everyone I know who is both LGBT+ and atheist, and has an extremely religious family, they've said it was much harder (and often had a worse reaction) when they came out as atheist than when they came out as queer of some flavour. It just blows my mind that even since 9/11 and with the rampant Islamophobia and racism, more of the US public would prefer a practising Muslim president than an openly atheist one. They legitimately think we're devil worshippers or Satanists or witches... not that there's anything fundamentally wrong with witches OR members of the Satanic Temple. LOL
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover lol. I personally don't know everything about the US as I live in the Netherlands, but americans sure can be weird (No offense to the americans who don't act like absolute jerks). There's so many religious people who seem to think not believing that an all powerful entity that allegedly created the universe exists is bad or satanism, but we don't even believe in Satan existing
Story 1: Mike just wanted the wife, not the daughter, he lied his way to stay in this relationship
Heartless and I’m sorry but as a man, I grew so attached to my now ex kids that I was broken. Let’s just say the ex had some loose screws.
He literally raised her for 10 years. How is that a lie? You act like he isn't allowed to have a say in the matter.
@@seekeroftruth6728 he lied for 10 years :/
@@seekeroftruth6728 he literally confessed he didn't love the kid "the same", like what is that?
@@KarmaTube5 How did he lie? Give me his exact words.
Second story: That is possibly one of the most simultaneously heartwarming and tragic stories I've ever heard. Getting kicked out of your own home period is deplorable but this happening due to religious reasons I find awe-inducing. The idea that someone could put an imaginary figure such as god or the bible or whatever else between them and their child is something I will never understand. However OP taking him in and giving him a room immediately is very touching; she's an angel.
On a side note the expressions she uses and the various language quirks remind me of a "Tribe Chief" kind of persona you see in a lot of movies involving Native Americans. Very wise, but not buried in their own ideas. I find it quite charming :33
First story: When my aunt married my uncle, she already had an eight-year-old son (bio-dad was not in the picture). My uncle adopted him the same week he married my aunt. That boy is my cousin in every way but blood. He calls my uncle "dad" and took his last name.
Exactly how it should be. You don't marry someone with kids unless you are prepared to make them yours always.
This entire video is like an ad for contraception. Thank you for another video I can refer to when people ask why I don’t want children!
The first story made my stomach sick, that poor girl.
Wow OP in story two is the real MVP , she really went above and beyond to make sure her grand baby was comfortable and well loved ❤️
Story 2, thank GOD he has a grandma who loves him so much.
The coworker will leave her as soon as he realises, and it won't take long. Then she'll be calling OP and saying it's his kid and she wants him back 100%
"I'm sorry for forcing you to fully acknowledge that you did something horrible"
That second Story was Brutal. Poor kid. Glad he had a good loving caring grandparent.
''Don't call me dad''
''ok mike''
''how dare you not call me dad''
The mother needs to grow a backbone and choose her daughter over her idiot husband. He CLEARLY doesn't know that they're a package deal. It's infuriating that she's still protecting him over her own daughter.
Exactly
As a trans woman who had to just hir parents out due to being unsupportive I really feel for the kid in the second story. It's absolutely shameful that any parent could do that to their kid for any reason. What an evil excuse for a human being.
That guy in the first story is just the absolute worst. He destroyed that little girl forever. Even if the mother leaves and then finds a new man who loves both her and her daughter, the daughter already was told that the person who raised her doesn't love her and doesn't want to be her father. It's too late to fix that or fill that hole. She just never gets to have a father now.
I hope OP divorces him and gets literally everything in the divorce. I hope his own kids hate him for how he hurt their sister and I hope he spends the rest of his life unloved by everyone in his life so he can know how that daughter feels. What an absolute piece of shit!
Emotional much?
Would you rather him lie to the kid. It's a tragic story and rslash is right when he said it was a blunt denial of the kid but Mike has the right to say his feelings. He doesn't love her like his own kids but he can still be a parent to her. He probably still loves her but not parental love.
That grandmother is an extraordinary person. Kind of reminds me of my own Nanna. Just wonderful, supportive and loving all around.
For the last trainwreck of a story, I bet the ex-wife told her coworker she's pregnant with his kid (if she hasn't disclosed all her cheating history, and like the narcissist I feel that she is, she likely hasn't) so she essentially baby trapped her coworker into potentially raising another guy's kid. Depending on how long ago these posts were written, I give that new relationship 3 months if that....
What did Mike want?! He doesn’t want to be seen as Hannah’s father but he still expects her to call him dad? This guy is a selfish, hypocritical, narcissistic, jerk. He only cares about himself and ignores everyone’s feelings. I hope Hannah gets a better dad than Mike.
First couple of stories are good examples of why some people should never be parents....or step parents in the first case.
first story: 16 years old is sweet kid. Stepdad did mistake not adopting her as she seemed very loving,caring and now she wont have any trust for others. Its heartbreaking and i hope girl will be fine.
First story, personally I find it admirable that op tried to make things work, I don't blame her 1 bit for leaving him. I feel terrible for that young lady, losing the man who raised her because he's a selfish prick, and losing the chance to have an actual father, because HE was a selfish prick too.
Story 1: Watch as the step father comes crawling back or surprised pikachu face this... Im calling it. Reap what you sow...
Story 2: S tier grandma. So glad the grandson has a loving grandma like her.
Story 3: S tier dad. I was worried that the cheater was gonna be manipulative and try to get full custody and manipulate the kid. But im so glad that's not the case anymore.
I ALWAYS wanted to go out in nature and camp with my dad. So I'm happy this kid has someone who loves him.
Story 2: Honestly, imagine learning that your own child just tossed out their child for coming out. That must've hurt.
And the fact that daughter only tried to backpedal because her income was threatened (and the weight of the crimes) makes me wonder if she really is sorry for throwing the grandson out.
Heck, this whole situation broke the family, based on the update
She doesn’t mean it. Her money is taken away so that’s why she’s acting like she actually cares for once. It hurts me so much to hear a parent find out their child kicked their grandchild out just because they wanna be something they hate. If any of my children did that to my grandchildren, disowned forever, cut everything financial off, and let them rot by themselves. I wouldn’t care if I birthed them.
Makes me wonder what went wrong, cuz obviously OP can parent just fine.
I’m still confused as to how her income was threatened. Lol. I think he skipped over that part in the story (he being RSlash when he read it).
@everlasting9292
I was thinking the same thing. Like OP loves her grandson even after coming out, but his own mother doesn't, why? Like, I'm sure if OP loves her grandson regardless then she raised her children to do that same, but two of her children thought doing this shit was okay. Like WTF.
@@guitarbass22 forgot the name but: Child Independence
Basically, if a child sues for independence from the parents, and wins, half the parents' income goes to the child as income support.
For the first story Mike didn't want to love her like a daughter, but he wanted her to love him like a father.
The story with hiking reminds me what happend to my friend. His gf was also against him going mountains, month later he learned she was cheating on him after 10 years of being together.
"My husband hates her calling him by name" What did you expect?? Bro of course she's going to stop calling you dad! You fundamentally broke this relationship and you will never be able to fix this.
First story. It is a no-win. It is awkward to force someone to adopt you and I could see Mike's hesitation, as he doesn't want to disrespect the bio Dad. But sounds like that kid just wants a Dad, can't really blame her.
5:53
it’s refreshing to see a supportive grandmother!!
Story 2: if my son ever did this I'd straight put tell him that I am absolutely disgusted by me and I refuse to have him in my life after that. That's disgusting to throw him on the street like that. Hell I wouldn't want him to be bigoted but if you're gonna be terrible at the least still take care of your kid.
"I'm not your dad! Also... Why did you stop calling me dad?!"
OMFG...
In the first story, if you don't wanna be her dad, that's fine.. but you can't be upset when she don't treat you like a dad
Any parent who would abandon their child deserves every horrible thing that happens to them!
Story 1 - this is going to get me slated, but there was a piece of context left out by rSlash that was very important.
The daughter is completely innocent and my heart aches for her and what she went through. She did the right thing and went to her mother about wanting to ask Mike to adopt her.
What was left out of the story, was that there was an element of the mother and daughter watching TikTok videos depicting these happy birthday adoption surprises; and that the mother saw a chance to have one of these amazing surprises herself. So she never told Mike what was going to happen, and had the daughter drop the big question at a birthday party with friends and family around, and the camera rolling to capture the whole "wonderful" event.
Now put yourself in Mike's position, and really be honest with yourself. Could you have said no with that much pressure suddenly put on you with no upfront notice?
Mike's reason for not wanting to adopt his step-daughter was likely BS, but newsflash - of course he feels differently about her than he does his own children. I say this as the only step-child in a family with three children, and as a father myself. Anybody attacking Mike because he feels differently about his step-child is, quite frankly, delusional if they think this is unusual, or wrong.
What should have happened, is the mother should have had the good sense, and the common decency to discuss the adoption request with Mike, as soon as her daughter had told her about what she wanted to do. But she didn't do that, because it would have spoiled the viral video moment she planned on having. There is even a chance that if the idea had been introduced properly, and Mike had been given the appropriate chance to consider all the ramifications of adopting his step-daughter (because it is so much more than just a piece of paper and a name change), he may have welcomed the adoption. But he wasn't given that chance, he was ambushed in front of a room full of friends and family.
The person responsible for how badly this turned out was the mother. But you only have to read the comments here on RUclips to see that virtually nobody is really thinking about what happened and why Mike felt forced into saying yes to something he wasn't comfortable with. Something that is a huge responsibility, that shouldn't ever be decided in a situation like that.
Honestly, knowing this is a must for the discussion. I've been ridiculed in public in a similar way, and my go-to answer would be no, no matter if it was this or even being given free money, especially if it was something that needed a clear and calm mind, and time to get used to the idea.
One could call it childhood trauma, I call it self preservation. I feel like everybody's feelings are valid in this situation, but the cause of it all was not talking about it beforehand, in private, where he could feel safe.
I scrolled quite a bit to find this opinion. I felt the same way when I heard the story. Adoption shouldn't be a surprise. I don't think he's a bad guy- he was put on the spot where they should've had a conversation in private!
Mike:
I don't want to be your dad!
😡
Hannah:
Okay...Mike.
Mike:
WHY AREN'T YOU CALLING ME DAD?!?
😭
1st Story: WOW. What an AH Mike is. You raise and care for a girl, make her feel loved and sees you like a father, only to throw it back in her face. THEN he has the AUDACITY to be sad when she stops calling him “dad”?! His bio children are confused and want Hannah in their lives officially. Poor Hannah runs off to find her bio dad, only to find out he’s dead. Mike freaking single-handedly DESTROYED the family because he thought adopting Hannah would be “weird”. Way to go AH.
The Rest of the stories: I didn’t think it was AH Parent Day!
In the last story, she definitely didn't tell the coworker about the other guys she's cheating with, and he definitely thinks it's his baby.
Man, Guy in story one is just plain chickenshit. You're going to raise a kid like that and THEN decide you don't "love her enough" to see her as your daughter?
I'd call him a worm, but even those have more spine than he does.
that poor little girl. How could the dad be so selfish and afraid of responsibility hes willing to forget 90% of her voluntary father figure the moment a document is signed. Glad the mum left
What were his reasons for saying no?