Rant Review REUPLOAD | The Dark Hockey Romance that Bummed Me Out
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- Опубликовано: 19 июн 2024
- I had to edit and reupload this 3 times to appease the overlords but here she is (again) I appreciate the rewatches ♥️
Let's explore another dark romance novel, this time, hitting the ice headed towards a V shaped formation... you get the joke. It's a dark hockey romance!
Spoiler free review - • Do I Even Like Dark Ro...
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PLEASE NOTE:
this review contains spoilers, opinions and general shit talking. This is a review of a dark romance novel so trigger warnings will be provided at 05:52 (find all the time stamps below)
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______________________________________
*CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS*
Disclaimers - 00:56
Details - 03:16
Synopsis - 04:21
TWs - 05:52
Prologue - 07:35
Chapter 1 - 08:52
Chapter 2 - 11:14
Chapter 3 - 13:55
Chapter 4 - 15:50
Chapter 5 - 21:32
Chapter 6 - 22:56
Chapter 7 - 26:44
Chapter 8 - 28:31
Chapter 9 - 32:28
Chapter 10 - 33:51
Chapter 11 - 35:16
Chapter 12 - 42:39
Chapter 13 - 44:31
Chapter 14 - 47:10
Chapter 15 - 48:41
Chapter 16 - 51:26
Chapter 17 - 57:33
Chapter 18 - 59:38
Chapter 19 - 01:03:30
Chapter 20 - 01:06:59
Chapter 21 - 01:14:05
Chapter 22 - 01:14:59
Chapter 23 - 01:17:38
Chapter 24 - 01:19:36
Chapter 25 - 01:21:24
Chapter 26 - 01:23:33
Chapter 27 - 01:24:17
Chapter 28 - 01:26:13
Chapter 29 - 01:30:10
Chapter 30 - 01:31:30
Chapter 31 - 01:35:24
Chapter 32 - 01:36:59
Chapter 33 - 01:38:16
Chapter 34 - 01:39:44
Chapter 35 - 01:41:22
Chapter 36,37,38 - 01:44:04
Epilogue 1 - 01:47:39
Epilogue 2 - 01:47:47
Ima write a romance now. It's gonna be a sports-oriented dark romance around a star cricket player named Jim. It will be called "Jim and thee, Cricket" and it will be horrible.
Guaranteed it’ll be better than anything C R Jane sharts out 💯
😂😂😂 I'm f***ing dead. It's the best comment I've seen today.
I WILL READ THIS
please please please write it 🥰
literally preordering as we speak!
I'd read it. 😂
Ah yes, my favorite book, The Super Yikes Whoopsy Daisy Incorrect Phone Number
😂😂😂😂
oh nooo looks like i'll have to use this as my background noise for the next few days to replace all my views on the old one.... oh no however will i deal.....
Oh noooooo. My condolences for you during this time 💐
I don’t understand why men in all these romances call women random animals - little bird, little dragon, little serpent, etc. nobody does that in real life, esp not someone you just met lmao
The first time I read the nickname "Pigeon," I choked on my Reeses Puffs.
“Little crow” in that one dumpster fire of a book 😭
It always feels like the author wants petplay in their book but they don’t want to commit. Probably because then you’d have to commit to the basic rules of BDSM which would highlight that the main male love interest is a shitty guy.
@@ladytopaz6358I don't think it's even petplay. I can see it whenever the nickname is kitten or puppy because often those books emphasize the connection between the animal term and human person to a humongous extent. Those books more than earn the "this author has a thing for petplay" disclaimer.
But in books like these with these strange nicknames are just to infantilize/objectify the woman and also to be "dark". Infantilize because it's used as a way to say that the woman is akin to a "little" animal, and therefore can't think for herself. She's not just an animal, she's a child animal that needs the love interest to survive. Objectify because she's an animal, and not a human, and it's okay if the love interest SA's or harasses her or ogles her nonstop. Same reasoning behind why misogynists compare women to animals--it's easier to treat women as horses, or birds, or whatever, then actual complex human beings who have personalities and will have opinions on what you do to their body.
@@ettaetta439 I think you’re right on the money
I know we're all used to the trope of "woman written by a man" but I feel like dark romance really encapsulates "man written by a women" in the same way. Every single love interest is like peak gross toxic man stereotype as opposed to an actually interesting and well-rounded character whose dark motivations are entrenched in a genuine personality.
Made the mistake of listening to this while I'm eating dinner. The snex scenes are UPSETTING to my burger.
I laughed OUT LOUD AT WORK
Lol 😂
A character who ends up in foster care after their addict parent ODs for a tragic back story? Groundbreaking 🙄
I could forgive it if any of the backstory enriched her character or felt like research was done to add realism, but as the child of an addict that opener made me roll my eyes so hard.
All the trauma and abuse could’ve been avoided in this book if the main character answered wrong numbers like me with a “sorry you have a wrong number : ) “ and never reply lol. But that would be a normal reaction and we can’t have that
I really do believe the POVs switching mid chapter and so often was because the author was impatient to get back to Lincoln's POV but omg it would be so chilling if it were done on purpose, like slowly the male love interest's narration starts to interject and invade the female main character's until its just first person pov from his perspective
I’m taking this book as Abraham Lincoln if he was a hot blonde who played hockey in modern day, and it is making this slightly more comical.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂✨️
"Four score and seven goals ago, I met my dream girl who makes my 🍆🥒🥕🌽🥖🌭🍌👀"
-Abraham Lincoln Daniels, star hockey player and 16th president of the United States, probably
The way we could have avoided all of this if the FMC just said "sorry, wrong number :)" but sadly we can't have nice things
Hey by the way if your tuxedo is so tight that you can see your muscles it doesn’t fit right. For some reason this annoys me to no end that the rich male love interest apparently can’t afford a new tuxedo. I get its fan service I just feel like there’s better ways to do that. Like have him take off the jacket and put it on her (for whatever reason) and then she sees how built he is.
This is but one of many examples of things that could’ve been better if ✨thought✨ was involved in the writing process at all.
@@weirdobookclub oh absolutely like how every scene about Monroe’s mother should’ve been cut out save for like three sentences to explain why she ended up in foster care. And how she herself also needed to be crazy so it’s actually a dark romance and not just rich professional-athlete white man abusing a poor abused woman.
A lot of dark romances seem to forget the romance part because they want the woman (usually white) to stay pure and innocent so it never comes across as a romance.
Convenient timing that I was just talking about this book and this review the other day lmao. I was planning to come back! Goshdarn demonitization 😂
You manifested this comeback! ♥️
every time i write something now i imagine how it would sound in your “this is horrible” reading voice. you’ve really taken my writing to the next level💀💀
Welp, time to repeatedly re-listen to this until I learn the script again.
On a serious note though I find your voice is very pleasant and your commentary is on point, a shame youtube has to punish small-ish creators!
You’re so sweet, thanks for watching again and for saying I have a nice voice. 🫠
Oh noooo one of favourite kind of reviews that I have to rewatch. Oh noooo :D
Oh noooo an angel among mortals, here to hang out and engage with it. Thank you ♥️
"I fear I've overshared in this moment" That is me every time no one interrupts me and I just keep talking
I think this is the 4th time I’ve listened while taking a walk and laughing out loud on public sidewalks. 😅 (I like hockey romance.) All it does it make me wish you’d read the second and third books. Guess some financial bullying is in order? 😢
Also, are the alternating bubbles and italics meant to represent iPhone vs android? 😂
Watching this classic gem and adding a comment/ like for the wretched algorithm.
nooooo i cant believe the original got taken down(or perhaps demonotized and so creator removed, either way), the pucking wrong number is one of the first reviews i saw of yours and i loved it. really happy to see that its coming back, though! cant wait to watch it again!
Just demonetized I believe. RUclips is a cruel mistress
“ I’ll alert the lesbians” 😭😭😭
Now that this beauty is back, it’s time for the best nap of my sleep deprived reader life.
I told my Aunt about the title of this book and her response was “that sounds like something a 12 year old boy would come up with.”
I can't get over how much of this book is contingent on the idea that hockey is a universal global obsession
Have I seen the original version of this vid? Yes.
Am I gonna watch this newish reuploaded version? Most definitely.
Also, I'm not entirely sure why it bothers me, but there's something about some romances novels and saying the MC full name repeatedly, that irks me. It's like the author thought they were so clever with their name and will shove it down your throat. Maybe it's because it's a sport romance, but there's no need for it... we know who they are a page in.
Here to rewatch while I clean my bathroom. Your voice fuels me to do things I don't wanna do, cause if you can make it through this book, I can clean.
We can do hard things TOGETHER! 🤝🏻
It doesn't matter if it's a Reuload, I'm always here for our queen!
You angel ♥️
This would be a great book if Ari and Lincoln were secretly in love with each other but instead of a healthy relationship they fought each other to the 💀
i am already rewatching these videos everyday, what's another?
I caught myself nodding along when you said Haunting Adeline was worse thinking, "Yeah, at least this guy's not murdering people -" ...
... 😑☄️💀
I would like a “cling cling cling lobotomy time” merch please.
Rewatching this because your commentary on this book was my thoughts while reading it. I kept thinking “is this a prank book?” 😂 I feel like you should review the second book just for the A1 commentary 😅
"Bummer... maybe he'll die"
Was this whole book.
i need dark romance authors to look up what "morally grey" actually means
We 👏 are 👏 so 👏 back 👏 and + also there’s something about hearing the older eyeglass repair woman calling me good girl and good girl in this context that’s just confusing and overall off putting 🤷
glad you are trying to keep this video up, its my favorite of yours!
I’m fighting for my life out here 🤣♥️
THANK GODDDDDD I was wondering where my fave video of yours went!!!!!!! I quote you constantly I swear lol
It’s back!!! Thanks so much for the love 🥹
I cant hear a man described as a golden god without picturing Dennis "I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO PEAK" Reynolds.
I thought I had gone back in time.. no, just RUclips being Jerks.. time to re watch this 3 times making it 6 times I've heard this.. imma going to count this as a 'read' on good reads 😅
‘Her mom might be dead but romance sure isn’t’ SENT ME 😭🤣
I want a more detailed book about old Bill and his adventures saving young women in dire straights.
Like seriously I'd be putting people in my will for less than what he did for her.
Got so excited thinking it was a new video 😭
I love the throwback to what you considered oversharing in this era
I know this is so minor compared to literally everything else in this book, but why on earth would Monroe's study group go to a restaurant to work??? Much less one that serves steak???? Baffling
Oh no, not an excuse to rewatch this review nooooo
I completely forgot I already had watched a previous version of this video and I thought I remembered this book because of another review by another person until the first OOOOOLLD BIIILL happened and I suddenly remembered it all at once, like it was a very dramatic scene in a movie of someone getting memories back.
Still watching it all again bc it was really funny the first time.
(And commenting to help the algorithm)
You’re an angel. Olllllle Bill and I thank you!
I really enjoy listening to your reviews, really engaging and funny.
I appreciate that! ♥️
I will never get tired of your rant reviews! I look forward to these ALWAYS ❤️
Here on the rewatch! ❤
I literally just recently found this channel just in time for No Place to Hide and this masterpiece of desperately horrendous fiction so bad you cant look away.
Perfect timing!
OLE BILL MY BELOVED YOU WERE THE REAL MVP I HOPE YOURE IN THE NEXT 3 BOOKS MY MAN
third version i’ve watched let’s goooooo lmao (also this video made me read the second and start the third and honestly if i ever want to talk about bad books it is my go to so thank you for your hard work soldier)
the way this could have been a really interesting tragedy/thriller concept if it wasn’t written to be complete garbage makes it even worse
I'm a life-long reader in my 40's, but fairly new to booktube...as in just the last 6 months. I mostly read fantasy, science fiction, horror, and various other genres. I've never read romance or the sub genres of it, and have a genuine question...HOW is this romance and not in a horror genre?? Is this what most dark romance books are like? To me this is just a bunch of stalking and abuse by a psychopath. Like...there's zero romance in this, sex yes, but nothing romance. How is it not horror???
Monroe Bardot is the Lily Blossom Bloom of screen sirens, so that's... something.
what have you done!! now i have to listen to this for the foreseeable future whenever i draw!! the travesty 😖
my trillionth rewatch of this rant review and ol’ link is still just as unhinged as i remember him
YEAH BOYYYYSSS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REUPLOAD
Just as hilarious the….I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched this now 😂
I LOVED THIS REVIEW! I will rewatch so many times for you
Why does Old Bill sound like he’s in Oliver Twist?😂😂😂
LOVE IT! Thank you as always for a fun book review video :)
Hi there, I've just subscribed. I found you while binging Haunting Adeline rant reviews. And your energy and humor captivated me and made me laugh too many times to just go away. I don't read those books but I respect that you take your time to make some enterteinment out of them for others to enjoy😂
Finally! My go-to sleep video is back! 😭 It's been too long! This book is so ridiculous and this video has my favorite Natalie bit, namely everything to do with the infamous dick tattoo. 😂 I can't wait to give this all the views again.
Started watching this yesterday, coming back to finish tonight and can’t remember what the trigger warnings are or what makes this a ~dark romance~ and I’m not going back because I’m ready to be SHOCKED
Comment for the Al Gore Rhythm lol
Whelp u know what time it is, time for rewatch 7 of this video 😮💨
Yes! I’ve been wanting to watch this again!
Whenever I hear a "smoky" voice, I always think of Kathleen Turner and the Pekinese dog that sings at the pound in Lady and the Tramp.
Also, NO to men wearing gold chains.
I love these videos so much. If you really want a good dark romance I recommend the Made Men series by Danelle Lori, or the Sinner Anonymous series by Somme Sketcher(both series are standalones but recommended to be read in order. Book 1 of sinners anonymous is rough, but I love books 2-3)
Sorry you had to reupload! My gosh this book is a crapshow. Truly disturbing. You're hilarious and lovely though!
That taste of ink clip got me AGAIN lol I am deceased and I love everything about this vid. So glad to be able to watch it again
Saw Reads with Rachel's post about this, glad she shared it because while this summary hurt my soul, it was also quite entertaining. =3
i will reitterate my comment from the previous upload that im still baffled by the inclusion of hah a comedian man Bo Burnham's song on this "romance"
also i truly feel that if your protagonist is pulling on the strings to isolate her from her life to force her to be with him... just rip that hero from the title, thats not an anti hero, thats just a monster
Y'know, I will take the Edward Cullen in the bedroom version! At least it FEELS a bit less premeditated than the secret key copy :/
Did I watch this rant review when it first came out? Yes!
Did I watch it again and enjoy suffering along with Natalie? Also yes!
I love your reviews so much! ❤
This is legit one of the best things I've ever seen. Crying with laughter. HOWLING lmfao
I'm 30 minutes in and laughing so hard I can barely breathe. The c-worms did me in! Thank you for summarizing these books so I don't have to read them. 🖤
You're just the funniest person on youtube
46:25 "she murmured fiercely".... no notes, 10/10
"like a polished stone" ruined me lmao
I'm genuinely curious. I joined Threads 5 days ago and literally saw 14 or so meltdowns over 2 star reviews. Have you ever been on the receiving end of authors like that privately or public? ( I come here for rants and the roasts 😊)
Reupload? Did the original get taken down??
I’m so excited to watch this, but I have to get through with work first! 😅
Okay here me out... Spiders Mate trilogy? It's my secret pleasure 😂❤
i’ve already seen this but you are so damn funny that i’m watching it again
It’s probably the least of this book’s sins, but the fact there’s two POV characters and (as far as I can tell from the excerpts, at least) they write with exactly the same style, only he includes more swearing, just goes to show how little effort was put into this bullshit.
Don’t get me wrong, I know there’s always going to be a limit to how different they can be written, since it’s all coming from the same writer, but at least make an effort. You’ve got a girl who was raised by a drug addict part of the way before going into foster care, and a guy who was brought up wealthy, and the only difference is he swears more than her? Really? Come on
I thought I hallucinated this video! I'm so glad it's back so I can re-watch it for the 6th time :D
Ok..... Honestly I don't know this personally what so ever.... BUT I have always thought that a guy does Need to be turned on to get a tattoo on their junk!!...
Could be totally wrong... But I would bet money on that being the case!!
** Ooops... I stand totally corrected.... My bad!!
A guy does Not have to be hard to get a tattoo on their junk!!!!
Looking for the answer to the tattoo question.....😂
doing my due duty rewatching this video because i loved it the first time around. 🎉
A true gem 💎
I loved this vid the first time so I will be watching again
Yoooo I get to watch this video again!!!
If you're looking for an insane book to read: Across State Lines by Lauren Biel. Most unhinged this I've ever read 😅
Ok, guess I have to watch it again ^^
I forgot about the 4 goals in the Hockey Boyfriends Anonymous tweet. I just yelp-laughed and yelled, "Hashtag! Dicktrick!!!!!!!!!!!!!" C.R. Jane dropped the puck (ha!) on that one. ETA: OMG I also forgot about the FIVE GOALS at the first game. CEEE ARRRRR T___T
"Thanks for the O, But chu gotta go.."
Watching the reupload and i still wasnt prepared for the dumpster fire 💀💀
1:09:25 honestly your smirk here… I didn’t guess and I nearly threw my phone when you said it because wtaf
I'm not the type to relisten to videos with less than a couple months of space in between watches because I crave novelty at all times, but I played this in a background tab for you. Get that heavily censored bag lmao
What is Booktok's obsession with hockey romance?