That’s one of the hardest things because some women are not trying to be confrontational because they don’t know if they’re supposed to be asking him or should they just be patient and let him show her through his actions.
My favorite part is when he said a guy will pretty much be intimate with a woman as long as she has good hygiene and she doesn't repulse him 😂😂😂😂 facts but this was really funny 💯👍🏾
I enjoyed him saying this too. It's eXActly what I keep saying. Constantly asking if I'm supposed to feel some type of flattered because a guy wants to have sex with me. I be like "Doesn't he want to have sex with just about ANY woman???"
Get enough women to respectfully put guys in their place and earn respect from the few good men out there, maybe the lazy, mediocre men who get the easy women will improve themselves and get better and the men who just want to get laid will have to step up their game and treat women better. Men treating women better overall makes the world a safer place for his female family members so they don't feel like they have to just give in to their demands and MAYBE get the relationship they're looking for. Btw.....Men should have to work harder on the relationship piece so that MAYBE they'll get the private bedroom part too. An easy woman undermines this need for the effort.
@B Real I hear you! Lack of self-esteem and the hope factor can be the reason most of the time. No judgements my side, we all have done it, until we wake up, if we wake up, sometimes we don't.
Okay I get it. If hes not actively planning, pursuing, calling consistently, asking, listening. Need to recalibrate putting him in buddy zone, vs. Putting him in my basket as possible boyfriend.
Not even put in the buddy zone...drop him and allow him no access to you. He has already shown you he has no value in you. Don't allow him to have any piece of your life.
If any woman gets upset with this intelligent man, then you have confirmed that he was "spot on". Take this advice, own YOUR mistakes, forgive yourself, shift gears, hold your head high, continue your journey. I love this guy !! He has really opened my eyes!! I hope you see my comments. Thank you for educating me.
Good advice. I also like what Cassandra Mack said: “when you’re starved for love, receiving crumbs feels like the whole pie.” Sometimes after years of the abuse cycle, especially if it started in childhood, being breadcrumbed is almost intoxicating because of how emotionally starved someone is. That’s why Jesus said He is the bread of life, and anyone who goes to Him will never be hungry. We can begin to be emotionally satiated if we have a relationship with God, and from that position of health it’s possible to form more stable friendships and eventually the right love connection.
Wow! This message was so deep. I challenged him and found out I was being seduced. It ended after 3 weeks. He was easily angered & he never asked me questions about myself. Thank you
It’s interesting when you put up boundaries or ask real questions or call them out, they get angry. I noticed that too. This last one flipped the whole script on me, I shoulda ghosted.
That’s cause you called him on his bullshit he was feeding you- and you took the one thing away from him that he want from you….which was to stroke his ego by stroking him.
@@healthright3657 Oh, how this is so true. I saw this same guy last weekend. I greeted him and minded my own business. As women, when we know our worth we will not accept breadcrumbs.
I love how Kev holds the “victim” responsible. We are only treated as badly as we allow ourselves to be treated. It is empowering to stand up for yourself and let people know you will be treated and walk away quickly at the first sign of poor treatment. Kev gives tough love words of wisdom.
He's tired and drained but KUDOS TO KEV because you care about us Queens willing to know and learn. You're da real MVP🏆🏆🏆 I've been staying celibate and just conversating more just taking it slow getting to know. Tired of celibacy but tired more of getting played!!!!! I hope to soon in the future to find a Kev. Your wife is truthfully blessed to have you
Guilty AF! Wasted my 20s thinking like this. Sucks that there aren’t enough honest men to teach you the game when you’re younger. Ladies, LISTENNNN!!! This vid is 💯
Yes. They are only that way. Because. That is how the average man thinks. If you love you first. You have the power to say No. When you start saying No. That other 1 percent. You will attract. Men treat you the way that you allow them to. If you carry yourself as a Queen. He will have no choice but to treat u as a Queen. You would be surprised. Men treat us like peasants when we have a peasant Energy about ourselves. My first rule of thumb is. Have standards Men love women with standards. We attract who we are and choose to entertain. That is when I began attracting men. That wanted to invest in me. Men invest in me. Because. I don't give them anything but. My Feminine Energy. Until I see that he is not seducing but pursuing. Men value what they have to invest in.
@@karenscales5077 I would like to know where that 1% is? In my city there's a shortage of men, my co- workers friends, family and neighbors are all having the same problem I am.
This video saved me from a ton of stress, I had been talking to someone who was persuing me aggressively for two months when I came across this gem. The simple question "am I being seduced or persued?", shed light to the tone of our conversations, revealing them to be blatant frivolous advances and nothing more. Thank you so much.
Some women are so blinded by a man’s attention, that they’re unable to see that seducing them is his true intention. That’s why you need to know exactly what you’re looking for in a man and if he don’t got it, put him back on the shelf and look for a different one. Just keep doing that until you find a man who got everything you’re looking for and make sure he’s looking for love too, and not just sex. When all a man wants is sex, he could have several baby mothers that you don’t know about. So remember what Kev Hicks said : “don’t take sex as a consolation from a man if your intentions with him from the beginning was love.”
“You have to protect your experience” ~Kev Hicks that’s a word right there !! I wish I had emotionally available parents to teach me that before I became completely turned off to dating and getting into another relationship. It’s imperative to protect your space by vetting men properly to ensure that they have integrity and character .
And we notice and peeps that . Like he never ask me questions about myself or nothing serious . Convos be about empty nothings . Nothing you can take so he just shooting the shits with you. Smh
OMG, over the years I must have missed this difference so many times... Wow- it's easy to think a man who is giving you regular "attention" is truly interested in you- not just seducing you! (No wonder I've ended up feeling SO disappointed & unfulfilled- so many times!!!) 😥
Thank you Kevin for being so honest.. listen to him ladies it's true.. I've been there and done that. Men give a hint as to what they want sometimes you don't see it right off but eventually you do it's your choice to see it or not...I fell for a guy I met who only wanted sex I knew because we had just met & that's what he intended by his conversation but I have learned from past mistakes..I really liked him and wanted a relationship but he didn't...so he dumped me and went his way...I know I'm better off without him..I over heard him in conversation with another guy say women are Chicken Heads that gave me a ideas what he thinks of women...I have a lot of potential and pride and think highly of myself...I'm to good for trashy men....or men who treat women like trash....
Right on point, again! It took me 2 1/2 years to accept that this Friends with Benefits situation was NOT friendship, it was sex. Once I truly accepted this it was so much easier to close the door!
*Damn this was like being told to get a switch and coming back with the wrong one. This stung all kinds of ways. Kev did NOT come to play with y'all today.*
Right. All throughout the video, I was saying Whew, Whew.😮 Ouch the truth hurts, but it will set you free. Thanks Kevin for your transparency and straight forward advice. 🙏
Preach Kevin. As a seasoned woman. I tell younger women all of the time. Stop seeing with your ears. See with your eyes. A man will have you feeling as tho. You are the only one. When actually. He has given you nothing but. A little attention. His messages are usually something. That he can copy and paste to send 5 other women. Remember. When we were playing house. Men were playing games as children. They are pretty darn good at it. At some point. We have to stop wanting to play house. So that. You can shut down his game. Stay woke.
I might be young, but i have a notion of how some men roll. If man don’t want you , God is going to let you know that. It’s up to you to accept things for what they are. I have to fault myself for some of things i have went through with men. That’s okay though, i won’t be anyone fool no more. Some of us women are always pointing the finger to blame and always be self deflecting. But in reality , we have these illusions of thinking that we can change these no good men. ( some of them are good, just not to you) Do a self check every once in a while, you’ll put yourself in the game ☝🏽😉
The truth is, you already knew you were just a booty call and then you want to play the victim when you see him with a real lady, generally speaking...
Kev...I've so appreciated you/your vids, these past couple years post my divorce. I got back on track and after 2 yrs of doing the work/keeping boundaries in place-- I'm happy to report I've met/able to receive a very nice guy who is pursuing me, even with the hardcore boundaries I've learned to set. Again thanks to God, and your godly and common sense encouragement! 🙌 Even at 61, I think I've found a 54 y/o 😉 keeper! May more women, and men, learn from you to respect their minds/bodies/spirits and those of who interests them...and strive to form a friendship bond, first! Dont' waste time, if they're not respectful....move on. God's continued blessings on you/yours! 🙏
@@jennifere4641 Hi---thanks for post. 'Marry' yourself to Jesus, and because of Him---you will succeed, no matter what! Just remember tho...only God is capable of "unconditional" love thanks to Christ's Blood. Our Father does have earthly 'conditions' if we misbehave? So....our example, is to have 'conditions'---not put up with anyone's disrespect, be they male or female! All God's best to you!
@@Mindsetolympics Yes! Yes YES! Im right there with you. 🙏🏽 thank you for saying that. Any touches, and I start to form bonds so quickly, and become blinded 🙏🏽
Kev, I’m barely 2 minutes in and I know I need to hear this… I honestly needed this a week ago but I’m glad I have it now. I’ll play this every night while I sleep if I have to to get it through my head 😩
You could write it out too. That helped me a lot. I have a journal and I’d often take notes on kevs videos, especially back when I was really trying to get my ish together.
It is crazy! It is like the ones that want friends with benefits goes for the ones that want love and vice versa. It is like time can only time. I pray for patience everyday and to have self control not to give up. Thanks Kev
Right cause it ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun as they say cause they know if they go for the ones who want friends with benefits too they too coward to experience rejection if they so happen to fall Vicodin of actually developing feelings for a woman who act and think like them and don’t want nothing serious. It’s weird and sick but they feel accomplished when they go after and can play women who want something serious. They get off on shit like that
Fire! Don't stop giving this message. Dysfunction in our relationships/community is multigenerational. It runs deep. We can be so predatory towards each other. Many who don't want to participate in that give up & do without love relationships. I wonder how we are raising our sons that they are willing to exploit & discard women so cavalierly. So few of us witnessed healthy relationships growing up. Many women have generations of unwed mothers in their families, or witness a lot of unfaithfulness among the men that are there. So much toxicity. We have to fight against what is familiar yet toxic. We need the message.
Do this every week. It takes time to reset the mind and change beliefs. Many women were not taught. We must be willing to change. Too much in emotions and not thinking wisely.
Kevin, I'm pretty sure you are ignoring the 'hate mail', but take it from me (although I think you know it already), you have hit the nail on the head with this one. Bang on. I'm a licensed clinical psychotherapist with a therapy practice based in England, UK and can confirm that you know how a woman's mind works, and thank you for keeping on with these lessons. Best to you! K
2:00 - I was disappointed when my current husband of 17 years kissed me for the first time. It was within the first week or two of our relationship and I ended my relationship with my previous boyfriend for him. (I though all guys who kissed me, especially with the tongue only wanted "it" (is this word being censored in comment section?) and I made "it" before marriage the cut off line. Previous BF was clearly trying to turn my no into yes but hubby respected my boundary at the time.) I stayed with him and we were inseparable. Married within 4 months of meeting and never dated another man again. The only girls my hubby dates is our daughters.
Thank you for this reminder Kev. No friends with benefits for me but if I am not getting what I want, I will no longer accept less than. I am walking away.
One of the 1st thing I tell a man who seems interested in me is I don’t kiss till I’m comfortable with him, and that could take up to 6 months. Men always think it’s my rule? It’s not, I can’t kiss a stranger, let alone be touched by one.
Ladies Kev not playin with us! My boy tryna get us to tighten tf up! Bro keep being 💯. I love it and watching your videos have helped me make smarter choices in dating. I shared your content with my best friend as well and she's a fan as well. I wish everyone here GOOD HEALTH, LOVE, A BAG 💰 & PEACE OF MIND
Kev seriously cares and I clearly feel it in his talks. I'm so naive in the dating game and I see Kev as a big brother giving genuine advice from his life experiences. Can't be grateful and thankful enough for your contents Kev 🙏🏻❤️
I appreciate your honesty and open style of communication. It begins with self love, self value, self esteem. If you know you are worthy of love and respect and he's giving mixed signals-- close the door. He's taking up space in your life and blocking the right Man from you. Let it go and trust that you are worthy of love that is real from a Man who will respect and honor you as his Queen.
He is so sweet❤ & kind, I don’t see how he not going off on y’all for getting mad at the truth that some of you can’t comprehend or either choose to ignore..
I really needed to hear this. I need to cut off an old fling from ten years ago and stop waiting for him to bs me with words I want to hear but no action to back it up. Thank you, Kevin Hicks. :-)
Thanks for this video. I just deleted a guy phone number because he was too sexual within the 1st conversion. Then had the gall to try to come to my house. Good Riddance. If he's too cheap to plan an outing/ date or if he acts like a dog in heat, I don't have the energy or the patience. There's a difference between seduction & a guy showing genuine interest/ pursuing. Ladies bow out quickly if you see red flags. I've been celibate 5 years ladies & don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. God bless you immensely Kev for your labors of love with these videos.
Always good advice, and sure don’t accept fwb if you want a relationship. But what I’ve said several times is I never once meet relationship minded men in the last decade. Nowhere to apply the knowledge
Of all the dating coaches I listened to… you are the best! The way you make your point and educate without the need to insult us makes these “how to be fake alpha men” gurus look and sound like a bunch of idiot wannabes. Love and so much respect for you Kevin! 👏🏻 💕
you look pretty good for raggedy😉 for a long time i didn't know the difference but, boy, i do now😒 i'm telling you though, kev, some men are only about the attraction yet still do things that make it seem he is interested. good convos, asking about you and your life, well mannered, don't just communicate by text, etc. at least that has happened to me and i know i can't be the only woman to experience this.
The ones that do that know they have to put a little more in to get you in that bedroom. Test the spirit. Pray before you test his spirit and ask God if he can reveal something that you can't see 🙏. I hope that helps.
Yes, especially if you’re dating older men who are educated, higher status/successful. Its a bit less obvious. It’s a somewhat classy seduction but seduction nonetheless. This has happened to me many times and why I found kevs videos in the first place, lol. But once I really examined the interactions closely the clues were definitely there. I get it now.
@@ayaimani606 I experienced exactly what you just said. He was successful and very wealthy. He literally did all of the things that a man who is actively pursuing a woman would do. This went on for a year until I woke up and realized what was happening.This happened after I prayed to God to reveal what was going on due to me having an unsettling feeling after I approached him about how things were going.. And the sad part is, he chased me down. You could be minding your own business and living life unbothered and these type of men would purposely disturb your peace. These are narcissistic creatures and should be avoided at all cost. I'm glad I got past that and learned from that mistake. Never Again. Kev is a lifesaver. Lol
@@josalynshanellsanders5121 "purposely disturb your peace" BINGO! that accurately sums up what he did to me, you nailed it. i was going about my business, had done a pretty good job not thinking or being bothered with men and here he comes and this was after a LONG hiatus on my part. that's what probably made me vunerable. i thought during that hiatus that i'd learned something but the only thing i learned was that i'd just been out of the loop😒
@@ayaimani606 you're right. this was the first time in a long time that the man was older and he was way better at what he did than the other older men i knew. he's so good he could take both of denzel's oscars away from him😒😒🤬
It's like that movie a thin line between love and hate. Darnell was clearly manipulate and wanted brandy to give up the skins... sure he was consistent but for the wrong reasons... sucks but we women have to pay attention HARD at the beginning... if he is just aming for sex and not just you as a person clear sign run. IJS
Your statement of some of us going from wanting love to us exercising our absolute independence in sexual female empowerment was spot on! You're absolutely right we can not do both!! It's one of the most emotionally frustrating positions to be in!! You are a God sent for us woman who are trying to figure this Shit out!! Your videos have given me knowledge, caused me to walk in it, and now I'm dating with strategy. God Bless you!
Thank you for this video and the reminder. My mentality has become, through much self-work, that dust and houses settle, I do not. The guys who aren't worthy of a woman's value are the ones telling us that we'll die alone and should be glad that we get any man's attention. Actual men don't have an issue being shown that a woman has standards, boundaries, high self-worth, and other qualities that fully-fledged women should have. They don't beat about the bush when they see a woman who has the potential to be their mate. They get right to it and find out if it's real or a façade. We ladies must do the same thing and stop being played.
@Cherish God men find it "weird" when a woman is happy alone. A guy hung up on me because I'm introverted and don't feel the need to be out much. Guess he thought that I would be boring. My beau has described me in many ways and boring is not one of them.
Alot of time I have been getting seduced, and not being pursued enough. Mistakes I have made, that has hurt me. And I am tired of hurting myself. I don't want to be a friends with benefits, to anyone else or at all. I'm taking my power back, and value myself deeper moving forward. I give myself closure, and I know I want me. My time is valuable
Man...this is GOOD. Couldn't put it into words until I heard this. NAILED it. Pursued or Seduced? Man, this is spot on! THANKS for keeping it real. Protecting YOU & Protecting YOUR HEART.
Seeing your videos confirms to me that I'm on the right track with dating. I'm not taking no prisoners. They can either get with the program or bounce.
Kev, I would call it being pin cushioned rather than seduction. Suduction is, at least, tantalizing and intriguing, although it may not B what a woman desires. What you describe has not one element of intrigue or mysterious elements. It's pulling the draws as the Omegas called it when I was in college, many years ago. However, I agree with you & how well you are conveying it.
Thanks for this insight. It can be very tricky, because there are guys, especially in the older dating pool, who sometimes seduce you not for sex, but for ego boost. That can be easily confused with pursuing. They show consistence and intensity and they act like they are really into you not into having sex with you. Like they really respect you. Then the moment you show them your feelings, they immediately drop to move on to another unsuspecting victim. It's like a stupid game they engage in out of loneliness, their emotional immaturity, or maybe even to revenge for the pain they got from they mothers or other women in their life? Idk . It is so evil and hurtful. How to develop discernment for such situation and not give up on dating whatsoever? It is very hard i must say.
I’ve literally been binge watching your videos you’re a true life saver omg it shows you really care about us out here and make sure that we aren’t accepting less
I called him to order and he seems to oblige. I told my boss who is a prosecutor to do due diligence on him. He agreed. Next if he passes my brother is next. Finally my pastor. If he passes then he gets the score's. Now he has 4/10
Kevin, you didn’t have to articulate your message as you did. 😩 imma 100% with everything you said in this message. You have stepped on a few toes i know! ❤️
This is a big revelation 💯 most of the men outside there like to seduce it’s a game for them ,particularly for those who want you to make the first move and do all the work
Someone once told me, men are sexual early on because it’s a learned behavior. It’s hard to tell the difference. But I hear you in this video tho. I hear you loud and clear. I really feel like men are so protective these days that they don’t do the old school pursuing a women anymore. I honestly don’t know what to think. 🤷🏽♀️
Thanks for this video and many others! It happened to me recently to meet a man at a party. He asked me to go to his place that night. Obviously, I refused. Then, the next day, he asked me to go and meet his mother.😃 We are in our 50s. I said I'll do this later on I prefer first meeting to be just 2 of us. Saturday afternoon, he invited me to go and sleep over, no matter that he knew I'll meet some friends. Just answered in a nice way that I'll go out, invited him to join us, and asked him to let me know earlier in the future. Long story short, he quit after only one week.😅
This video is spot on! Happened to me just a few days ago on a date actually .. It hit me like a ton of bricks the guy was chatting me up only to seduce me and not pursue me. I walked out on him on the date and he was furious! Oh well….
This man is so wise. I never regret watching a video.
I can recommend you to a man who can help you bring your ex back within few-days
He was the one who also helped me too
@@frederichhenry4968 🤣🤡
Ever!! I add him to my weekly life lessons for my 14 year old daughter.
Exactly
@@frederichhenry4968 😡😡😡😡
I don't want no ex
"Don't take sex as a consolation from a man if your intentions with him from the beginning was love"
-kevin hicks
I second this 🤙🏻🤙🏻
It's Hick, no s but yeah. Amazing quote.
🙄
Damn that hit home
😔
my older female friends always put it this way " Take yourself off of the clearance rack".
YES!
AMEN Jesus. I just saw this in a post in my Facebook group. Take yourself off of the Clearance Rack.
BAM!!
Bloop!!!!!!!!
"stop being afraid of asking men questions when they confuse you." I KNOW THATS RIGHT! Kev you're the best big brother and so wise. I appreciate you!
That’s one of the hardest things because some women are not trying to be confrontational because they don’t know if they’re supposed to be asking him or should they just be patient and let him show her through his actions.
So what are we supposed to ask men when they confuse us? When they are hot and cold?
My favorite part is when he said a guy will pretty much be intimate with a woman as long as she has good hygiene and she doesn't repulse him 😂😂😂😂 facts but this was really funny 💯👍🏾
100% true too!
SOME MEN will still SLEEP WITH YOU DEVOID of those things. SOME MEN will sleep with Women ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, CLEAN OR NOT. 😳🤔🤷😂 ijs
Yes indeed 🤣🤣🤣
You're right
I enjoyed him saying this too. It's eXActly what I keep saying. Constantly asking if I'm supposed to feel some type of flattered because a guy wants to have sex with me. I be like "Doesn't he want to have sex with just about ANY woman???"
I haven't seen a nicer man and a more intrested man than a narcissist in the first few months.
This right here
Yes. 😒🙄
Preach!!!!
A narcissist is the sweetest guy when they are in the love bombing stage!
@@audrey9538 amen
I think to a certain level a man should be in the friend zone from the start. That is part of growing and knowing each other.
I totally agree
Shannon Gray Chappell Absolutely spot on. Love from the UK ❤️🙏👍
💯 Friendzone them!!! And then when you’re ready it’ll happen eventually
💯🗣🗣
Girl a brotha told me I can't friend zone him, that was my cue to run⚀⚀
He look like he’s tired of saying this but it’s a labor of love 😭
😭😭😭 Exactly sis! May God reward him bountifully. Dude be tired of our bs 🙄🙄
Get enough women to respectfully put guys in their place and earn respect from the few good men out there, maybe the lazy, mediocre men who get the easy women will improve themselves and get better and the men who just want to get laid will have to step up their game and treat women better.
Men treating women better overall makes the world a safer place for his female family members so they don't feel like they have to just give in to their demands and MAYBE get the relationship they're looking for.
Btw.....Men should have to work harder on the relationship piece so that MAYBE they'll get the private bedroom part too. An easy woman undermines this need for the effort.
I actually care so I’m often frustrated on behalf of the women I speak to.
@@KevHick we can definitely tell it comes from love. You’re doing God’s work fr, we thank you 🙏🏾 💚
@B Real I hear you! Lack of self-esteem and the hope factor can be the reason most of the time. No judgements my side, we all have done it, until we wake up, if we wake up, sometimes we don't.
Okay I get it. If hes not actively planning, pursuing, calling consistently, asking, listening. Need to recalibrate putting him in buddy zone, vs. Putting him in my basket as possible boyfriend.
Thanks I didn't get it
Not even put in the buddy zone...drop him and allow him no access to you. He has already shown you he has no value in you. Don't allow him to have any piece of your life.
@@sheabutta5425
YES tell the truth & shame the devil. NO ACCESS AT ALL
If any woman gets upset with this intelligent man, then you have confirmed that he was "spot on".
Take this advice, own YOUR mistakes, forgive yourself, shift gears, hold your head high, continue your journey.
I love this guy !! He has really opened my eyes!!
I hope you see my comments.
Thank you for educating me.
Loved this👍
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Yeesss!
Good advice. I also like what Cassandra Mack said: “when you’re starved for love, receiving crumbs feels like the whole pie.”
Sometimes after years of the abuse cycle, especially if it started in childhood, being breadcrumbed is almost intoxicating because of how emotionally starved someone is.
That’s why Jesus said He is the bread of life, and anyone who goes to Him will never be hungry. We can begin to be emotionally satiated if we have a relationship with God, and from that position of health it’s possible to form more stable friendships and eventually the right love connection.
Amen sister !
That is really deep😳
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Wow! This message was so deep. I challenged him and found out I was being seduced. It ended after 3 weeks. He was easily angered & he never asked me questions about myself. Thank you
It’s interesting when you put up boundaries or ask real questions or call them out, they get angry. I noticed that too. This last one flipped the whole script on me, I shoulda ghosted.
That’s cause you called him on his bullshit he was feeding you- and you took the one thing away from him that he want from you….which was to stroke his ego by stroking him.
@@healthright3657 Oh, how this is so true. I saw this same guy last weekend. I greeted him and minded my own business. As women, when we know our worth we will not accept breadcrumbs.
@@seymorepencilart True, I crushed this guy’s ego. I know what I deserve, I’m settled in my career while he does valet.
he doesn't wanna bond to you like a person, f-boys treat women like sex toys they masturbate into
I love how Kev holds the “victim” responsible. We are only treated as badly as we allow ourselves to be treated. It is empowering to stand up for yourself and let people know you will be treated and walk away quickly at the first sign of poor treatment. Kev gives tough love words of wisdom.
Big mistake, he never holds the guy responsible. They're the ones who in the wrong in the first place..
Mediation strengthens your intuition ladies, which helps you with red flags. 🚩
Blessed be!
Thank you!♥️💜
Absolutely ✨
imagine someone is treating your daughter this way, does dad need a shotgun?
Interesting
Mediation?
Preach!! When their NOT looking for Sex is when you know their serious.
Friends with benefits is a waste of time.
Kev sounds like he’s bout tired of having to keep telling us this man lol…Y’all, we gotta get it together!
😂 I just be tired in general.
@@KevHick 😂😂
Lol
He's tired and drained but KUDOS TO KEV because you care about us Queens willing to know and learn. You're da real MVP🏆🏆🏆
I've been staying celibate and just conversating more just taking it slow getting to know. Tired of celibacy but tired more of getting played!!!!!
I hope to soon in the future to find a Kev. Your wife is truthfully blessed to have you
@@KevHick 😆😆
I’m so glad he also tells women to stop playing victim to their decisions and learn from them.
Guilty AF! Wasted my 20s thinking like this. Sucks that there aren’t enough honest men to teach you the game when you’re younger.
Ladies, LISTENNNN!!! This vid is 💯
You are sooooo right! We as women need to take accountability! Most of us are not 18 anymore. Instead of blaming men we need to choose better!!!!!!
I would say 99% of men are that type you describe, it's really emotionally exhausting to play these games with men.
Truly.
only because women feed into it
men are whatever women allow
Facts. It’s sad too.
Yes. They are only that way. Because. That is how the average man thinks. If you love you first. You have the power to say No.
When you start saying No. That other 1 percent. You will attract. Men treat you the way that you allow them to. If you carry yourself as a Queen. He will have no choice but to treat u as a Queen. You would be surprised. Men treat us like peasants when we have a peasant Energy about ourselves. My first rule of thumb is. Have standards
Men love women with standards. We attract who we are and choose to entertain. That is when I began attracting men. That wanted to invest in me. Men invest in me. Because. I don't give them anything but. My Feminine Energy. Until I see that he is not seducing but pursuing. Men value what they have to invest in.
@@karenscales5077 I would like to know where that 1% is? In my city there's a shortage of men, my co- workers friends, family and neighbors are all having the same problem I am.
There’s definitely a difference between “nice guys” and good men.
Yes ma'am 👏 🙌
He telling the truth ladies! As hard as it is to receive it...take personal accountability...
This video saved me from a ton of stress, I had been talking to someone who was persuing me aggressively for two months when I came across this gem. The simple question "am I being seduced or persued?", shed light to the tone of our conversations, revealing them to be blatant frivolous advances and nothing more. Thank you so much.
Some women are so blinded by a man’s attention, that they’re unable to see that seducing them is his true intention. That’s why you need to know exactly what you’re looking for in a man and if he don’t got it, put him back on the shelf and look for a different one. Just keep doing that until you find a man who got everything you’re looking for and make sure he’s looking for love too, and not just sex. When all a man wants is sex, he could have several baby mothers that you don’t know about. So remember what Kev Hicks said : “don’t take sex as a consolation from a man if your intentions with him from the beginning was love.”
“You have to protect your experience”
~Kev Hicks
that’s a word right there !! I wish I had emotionally available parents to teach me that before I became completely turned off to dating and getting into another relationship. It’s imperative to protect your space by vetting men properly to ensure that they have integrity and character .
I like to hear what are some of the questions we can ask men to vet them before we consider dating them.
Ladies, only God can fill that loney void, and learning how to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Therapy works.
Amen I've went to therapy numerous times
Whether a man is asking questions is a big one!!!
YAS!!!
And we notice and peeps that . Like he never ask me questions about myself or nothing serious . Convos be about empty nothings . Nothing you can take so he just shooting the shits with you. Smh
OMG, over the years I must have missed this difference so many times... Wow- it's easy to think a man who is giving you regular "attention" is truly interested in you- not just seducing you! (No wonder I've ended up feeling SO disappointed & unfulfilled- so many times!!!) 😥
Thank you Kevin for being so honest.. listen to him ladies it's true.. I've been there and done that. Men give a hint as to what they want sometimes you don't see it right off but eventually you do it's your choice to see it or not...I fell for a guy I met who only wanted sex I knew because we had just met & that's what he intended by his conversation but I have learned from past mistakes..I really liked him and wanted a relationship but he didn't...so he dumped me and went his way...I know I'm better off without him..I over heard him in conversation with another guy say women are Chicken Heads that gave me a ideas what he thinks of women...I have a lot of potential and pride and think highly of myself...I'm to good for trashy men....or men who treat women like trash....
You go girl !! ❤️❤️
Right on point, again! It took me 2 1/2 years to accept that this Friends with Benefits situation was NOT friendship, it was sex. Once I truly accepted this it was so much easier to close the door!
Good for you girl. sex with benefits is basically a fling.
I love what kev said you are being seduced not pursued period love your talks very informative💜😊🙏🏾
Please never take this video down
*Damn this was like being told to get a switch and coming back with the wrong one. This stung all kinds of ways.
Kev did NOT come to play with y'all today.*
😂😂😂
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH OMGSH
Right. All throughout the video, I was saying Whew, Whew.😮 Ouch the truth hurts, but it will set you free. Thanks Kevin for your transparency and straight forward advice. 🙏
Preach Kevin. As a seasoned woman. I tell younger women all of the time. Stop seeing with your ears. See with your eyes. A man will have you feeling as tho. You are the only one. When actually. He has given you nothing but. A little attention. His messages are usually something. That he can copy and paste to send 5 other women. Remember. When we were playing house. Men were playing games as children. They are pretty darn good at it. At some point. We have to stop wanting to play house. So that. You can shut down his game. Stay woke.
I might be young, but i have a notion of how some men roll. If man don’t want you , God is going to let you know that. It’s up to you to accept things for what they are. I have to fault myself for some of things i have went through with men. That’s okay though, i won’t be anyone fool no more. Some of us women are always pointing the finger to blame and always be self deflecting. But in reality , we have these illusions of thinking that we can change these no good men. ( some of them are good, just not to you) Do a self check every once in a while, you’ll put yourself in the game ☝🏽😉
The truth is, you already knew you were just a booty call and then you want to play the victim when you see him with a real lady, generally speaking...
Genius. Never framed as being seduced vs. being pursued. All I knew was I felt like an option, not a priority.
Kev...I've so appreciated you/your vids, these past couple years post my divorce. I got back on track and after 2 yrs of doing the work/keeping boundaries in place-- I'm happy to report I've met/able to receive a very nice guy who is pursuing me, even with the hardcore boundaries I've learned to set. Again thanks to God, and your godly and common sense encouragement! 🙌 Even at 61, I think I've found a 54 y/o 😉 keeper! May more women, and men, learn from you to respect their minds/bodies/spirits and those of who interests them...and strive to form a friendship bond, first! Dont' waste time, if they're not respectful....move on. God's continued blessings on you/yours! 🙏
Wow. Great job. Well done to you.
That's wonderful.
Thank you, @Leslie. You give me hope of finding unconditional love after divorce. 🙏🌈💞
@@jennifere4641 Hi---thanks for post. 'Marry' yourself to Jesus, and because of Him---you will succeed, no matter what! Just remember tho...only God is capable of "unconditional" love thanks to Christ's Blood. Our Father does have earthly 'conditions' if we misbehave? So....our example, is to have 'conditions'---not put up with anyone's disrespect, be they male or female! All God's best to you!
You’re not raggedy Hicks. Solid advice.
I remember being stuck in a relationship hoping that those little breadcrumbs he's giving, will one day turn into croissants LOL
Oh dear me :DD
😂😂😂
LOVE this.
BEFORE THE FIRST KISS.
Did you hear what he said??!??
Ladies?
@TheStretchMarkCode 😃
BEFO YOU LET THE MAN TOUCH YOU!!!
@@Mindsetolympics Yes! Yes YES! Im right there with you. 🙏🏽 thank you for saying that. Any touches, and I start to form bonds so quickly, and become blinded 🙏🏽
Kev, I’m barely 2 minutes in and I know I need to hear this… I honestly needed this a week ago but I’m glad I have it now. I’ll play this every night while I sleep if I have to to get it through my head 😩
You could write it out too. That helped me a lot. I have a journal and I’d often take notes on kevs videos, especially back when I was really trying to get my ish together.
It’s easy to feel valued when they flatter us and have so much persistence in the beginning.
Nice tip
It is crazy! It is like the ones that want friends with benefits goes for the ones that want love and vice versa. It is like time can only time. I pray for patience everyday and to have self control not to give up. Thanks Kev
Yes keep praying, love will find you.
If decent women would keep their legs closed these fools could be left with the Hos----- They absolutely try to seduce good hearted women.
Right cause it ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun as they say cause they know if they go for the ones who want friends with benefits too they too coward to experience rejection if they so happen to fall Vicodin of actually developing feelings for a woman who act and think like them and don’t want nothing serious. It’s weird and sick but they feel accomplished when they go after and can play women who want something serious. They get off on shit like that
Girl you better listen. This is real talk. Change! Or you keep getting what you DON’T want.
Fire! Don't stop giving this message. Dysfunction in our relationships/community is multigenerational. It runs deep. We can be so predatory towards each other. Many who don't want to participate in that give up & do without love relationships. I wonder how we are raising our sons that they are willing to exploit & discard women so cavalierly. So few of us witnessed healthy relationships growing up. Many women have generations of unwed mothers in their families, or witness a lot of unfaithfulness among the men that are there. So much toxicity. We have to fight against what is familiar yet toxic. We need the message.
Do this every week. It takes time to reset the mind and change beliefs.
Many women were not taught.
We must be willing to change.
Too much in emotions and not thinking wisely.
Kevin, I'm pretty sure you are ignoring the 'hate mail', but take it from me (although I think you know it already), you have hit the nail on the head with this one. Bang on. I'm a licensed clinical psychotherapist with a therapy practice based in England, UK and can confirm that you know how a woman's mind works, and thank you for keeping on with these lessons. Best to you! K
😂 I just block and delete
2:00 - I was disappointed when my current husband of 17 years kissed me for the first time. It was within the first week or two of our relationship and I ended my relationship with my previous boyfriend for him. (I though all guys who kissed me, especially with the tongue only wanted "it" (is this word being censored in comment section?) and I made "it" before marriage the cut off line. Previous BF was clearly trying to turn my no into yes but hubby respected my boundary at the time.)
I stayed with him and we were inseparable. Married within 4 months of meeting and never dated another man again. The only girls my hubby dates is our daughters.
no to yes is coercion, legally that vitiates any consent supposedly given
That's awesome
U
Powerful!! All i know is im not being Pursued or Seduced! & That's ok.
Ha 😃 ditto 🤣
Thank you for this reminder Kev. No friends with benefits for me but if I am not getting what I want, I will no longer accept less than. I am walking away.
This is happening way too much with me as well I’m tired of the bs
THIS IS THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WOMEN NEEDS HANDS DOWN. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 YESSSSSS
One of the 1st thing I tell a man who seems interested in me is I don’t kiss till I’m comfortable with him, and that could take up to 6 months. Men always think it’s my rule? It’s not, I can’t kiss a stranger, let alone be touched by one.
Ladies Kev not playin with us! My boy tryna get us to tighten tf up! Bro keep being 💯. I love it and watching your videos have helped me make smarter choices in dating. I shared your content with my best friend as well and she's a fan as well. I wish everyone here GOOD HEALTH, LOVE, A BAG 💰 & PEACE OF MIND
Thank You Kev. Keep schooling them. Preciate it and appreciate you bro. Later
Kev seriously cares and I clearly feel it in his talks. I'm so naive in the dating game and I see Kev as a big brother giving genuine advice from his life experiences. Can't be grateful and thankful enough for your contents Kev 🙏🏻❤️
I think a lot of women are naïve and do not know that men play game at the get-go.
I appreciate your honesty and open style of communication. It begins with self love, self value, self esteem. If you know you are worthy of love and respect and he's giving mixed signals-- close the door. He's taking up space in your life and blocking the right Man from you. Let it go and trust that you are worthy of love that is real from a Man who will respect and honor you as his Queen.
He's short, sweet and to the point. It's not three years long and have 3 million adds. It all under 3 minutes. Thank you for not wasting my time
He is so sweet❤ & kind, I don’t see how he not going off on y’all for getting mad at the truth that some of you can’t comprehend or either choose to ignore..
I really needed to hear this. I need to cut off an old fling from ten years ago and stop waiting for him to bs me with words I want to hear but no action to back it up. Thank you, Kevin Hicks. :-)
Thanks for this video. I just deleted a guy phone number because he was too sexual within the 1st conversion. Then had the gall to try to come to my house. Good Riddance. If he's too cheap to plan an outing/ date or if he acts like a dog in heat, I don't have the energy or the patience. There's a difference between seduction & a guy showing genuine interest/ pursuing. Ladies bow out quickly if you see red flags. I've been celibate 5 years ladies & don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. God bless you immensely Kev for your labors of love with these videos.
Always good advice, and sure don’t accept fwb if you want a relationship. But what I’ve said several times is I never once meet relationship minded men in the last decade. Nowhere to apply the knowledge
I wasn't being pursued or seduced. I was being controlled and manipulated 😂 hard lesson learnt.
Damn those demons really be playing like that.
Of all the dating coaches I listened to… you are the best! The way you make your point and educate without the need to insult us makes these “how to be fake alpha men” gurus look and sound like a bunch of idiot wannabes. Love and so much respect for you Kevin! 👏🏻 💕
you look pretty good for raggedy😉
for a long time i didn't know the difference but, boy, i do now😒
i'm telling you though, kev, some men are only about the attraction yet still do things that make it seem he is interested. good convos, asking about you and your life, well mannered, don't just communicate by text, etc. at least that has happened to me and i know i can't be the only woman to experience this.
The ones that do that know they have to put a little more in to get you in that bedroom. Test the spirit. Pray before you test his spirit and ask God if he can reveal something that you can't see 🙏. I hope that helps.
Yes, especially if you’re dating older men who are educated, higher status/successful. Its a bit less obvious. It’s a somewhat classy seduction but seduction nonetheless. This has happened to me many times and why I found kevs videos in the first place, lol. But once I really examined the interactions closely the clues were definitely there. I get it now.
@@ayaimani606 I experienced exactly what you just said. He was successful and very wealthy. He literally did all of the things that a man who is actively pursuing a woman would do. This went on for a year until I woke up and realized what was happening.This happened after I prayed to God to reveal what was going on due to me having an unsettling feeling after I approached him about how things were going.. And the sad part is, he chased me down. You could be minding your own business and living life unbothered and these type of men would purposely disturb your peace. These are narcissistic creatures and should be avoided at all cost. I'm glad I got past that and learned from that mistake. Never Again. Kev is a lifesaver. Lol
@@josalynshanellsanders5121 "purposely disturb your peace" BINGO! that accurately sums up what he did to me, you nailed it. i was going about my business, had done a pretty good job not thinking or being bothered with men and here he comes and this was after a LONG hiatus on my part. that's what probably made me vunerable. i thought during that hiatus that i'd learned something but the only thing i learned was that i'd just been out of the loop😒
@@ayaimani606 you're right. this was the first time in a long time that the man was older and he was way better at what he did than the other older men i knew. he's so good he could take both of denzel's oscars away from him😒😒🤬
This is eye opening. Mindset is so important in every domain. Especially this one.
Some of us are so hard headed, you're speaking facts 💯
Young man, you are smart way beyond your years. Keep up this advice. Woman young and old need to hear this!!
7:33 hits hard! Dang Kev! 🥊😬
Please do a single woman single man dating event? Of course the single men and women will be vetted by you? what y'all think?
Solid advice Kev👍 women tend too loosen their boundaries because they get emotional. Never follow emotions but actions.
Kev, you’re the big brother I always needed. Thank you. I appreciate you. 🙏🏾
Same thoughts.
Thanks son. You saved the day once again for this grandma. Love to you
Seduced for 4 long years. I am soooo super proud of myself. THANKYOU FOR TRUTH 🤸♂️🤸♀️
It's like that movie a thin line between love and hate. Darnell was clearly manipulate and wanted brandy to give up the skins... sure he was consistent but for the wrong reasons... sucks but we women have to pay attention HARD at the beginning... if he is just aming for sex and not just you as a person clear sign run. IJS
Your statement of some of us going from wanting love to us exercising our absolute independence in sexual female empowerment was spot on! You're absolutely right we can not do both!! It's one of the most emotionally frustrating positions to be in!! You are a God sent for us woman who are trying to figure this Shit out!! Your videos have given me knowledge, caused me to walk in it, and now I'm dating with strategy. God Bless you!
Thank you for this video and the reminder. My mentality has become, through much self-work, that dust and houses settle, I do not. The guys who aren't worthy of a woman's value are the ones telling us that we'll die alone and should be glad that we get any man's attention. Actual men don't have an issue being shown that a woman has standards, boundaries, high self-worth, and other qualities that fully-fledged women should have. They don't beat about the bush when they see a woman who has the potential to be their mate. They get right to it and find out if it's real or a façade. We ladies must do the same thing and stop being played.
@Cherish God men find it "weird" when a woman is happy alone. A guy hung up on me because I'm introverted and don't feel the need to be out much. Guess he thought that I would be boring. My beau has described me in many ways and boring is not one of them.
@Cherish God I absolutely agree!
It's amazing how many woman don't know the difference.
Alot of time I have been getting seduced, and not being pursued enough. Mistakes I have made, that has hurt me. And I am tired of hurting myself. I don't want to be a friends with benefits, to anyone else or at all. I'm taking my power back, and value myself deeper moving forward. I give myself closure, and I know I want me. My time is valuable
Man...this is GOOD. Couldn't put it into words until I heard this. NAILED it. Pursued or Seduced? Man, this is spot on! THANKS for keeping it real. Protecting YOU & Protecting YOUR HEART.
I love this video, the difference between being seduced and being pursued. Thank you Kev. 🗣🙌
Thank you for this video. I think this is a wake up call for most women. The society needs this....
Seeing your videos confirms to me that I'm on the right track with dating. I'm not taking no prisoners. They can either get with the program or bounce.
😂 I love this! I'm gonna use it as my slogan too...in my mind. Thnx x
Kev,
I would call it being pin cushioned rather than seduction. Suduction is, at least, tantalizing and intriguing, although it may not B what a woman desires.
What you describe has not one element of intrigue or mysterious elements. It's pulling the draws as the Omegas called it when I was in college, many years ago.
However, I agree with you & how well you are conveying it.
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 People only do what you ALLOW❗❗Romantic relationships, family and friends
When he said sexually aggressive vs intellectually stimulating 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 that 💯💯💯 hit a nerve
Thank you! I thought something was wrong with me. It seems as if sex is the main topic and I want more.
Kev, Chaz Ellis, Tony Gaskins and Stephan Speaks are my faves ❤️ and Toxic Dating Coach if I’m feeling petty lol
Add RC Blakes sis!
Brian Nox and Bernando Mendez are great too!
Rolling my eyes and subscribing at the same time 😭 you read is women like a book and I love this type of criticism
Thanks for this insight. It can be very tricky, because there are guys, especially in the older dating pool, who sometimes seduce you not for sex, but for ego boost. That can be easily confused with pursuing. They show consistence and intensity and they act like they are really into you not into having sex with you. Like they really respect you. Then the moment you show them your feelings, they immediately drop to move on to another unsuspecting victim. It's like a stupid game they engage in out of loneliness, their emotional immaturity, or maybe even to revenge for the pain they got from they mothers or other women in their life? Idk . It is so evil and hurtful. How to develop discernment for such situation and not give up on dating whatsoever? It is very hard i must say.
I’ve literally been binge watching your videos you’re a true life saver omg it shows you really care about us out here and make sure that we aren’t accepting less
I called him to order and he seems to oblige. I told my boss who is a prosecutor to do due diligence on him. He agreed. Next if he passes my brother is next. Finally my pastor. If he passes then he gets the score's. Now he has 4/10
Wow I am so happy to see a man speaking like this.🇯🇲
Yeah I'm not someone's toy. I need that clarity to be COMFORTABLE.
After following you for some time, I started making smart choices. Loving myself everyday and feeling completely free from the pressure of dating
Kevin, you didn’t have to articulate your message as you did. 😩 imma 100% with everything you said in this message. You have stepped on a few toes i know! ❤️
This is a big revelation 💯 most of the men outside there like to seduce it’s a game for them ,particularly for those who want you to make the first move and do all the work
This advice is worth its weight in gold! Thank you Kev for caring enough to teach us this lesson over and over and infitnum!
Someone once told me, men are sexual early on because it’s a learned behavior. It’s hard to tell the difference. But I hear you in this video tho. I hear you loud and clear. I really feel like men are so protective these days that they don’t do the old school pursuing a women anymore. I honestly don’t know what to think. 🤷🏽♀️
Thanks for this video and many others! It happened to me recently to meet a man at a party. He asked me to go to his place that night. Obviously, I refused. Then, the next day, he asked me to go and meet his mother.😃 We are in our 50s. I said I'll do this later on I prefer first meeting to be just 2 of us. Saturday afternoon, he invited me to go and sleep over, no matter that he knew I'll meet some friends. Just answered in a nice way that I'll go out, invited him to join us, and asked him to let me know earlier in the future. Long story short, he quit after only one week.😅
This video is spot on! Happened to me just a few days ago on a date actually .. It hit me like a ton of bricks the guy was chatting me up only to seduce me and not pursue me. I walked out on him on the date and he was furious! Oh well….