3 weeks ago my ex gf wrote me by message that she doesnt feel the same things as before and that she kissed a guy. All this happened while we was on vacation and at that point i saw her the last time 3 weeks before. I told her to wait to comeback and talk in person, maybe was just a moment. Now i think this isnt what she truly want because we left each other (before go on vacation) in the possible way (our relationship was becoming always better and she was a lot more passionate and into it). When she "broke up" with me i told her i wanted to talk face to face when she was going to return home (my intentions was to talk about it but at that time i didnt watch all the ex topic videos) after the break i went in "No Contact", after a 10 days she wrote me "what's up" and i responded after hours "good good, you ?" and than she replied with just good. Now it's been 2 weeks since that happened and nothing more, we have been togheter for 6 months, what should i do ? I feel a lot better now, worked on me and posting things on socials cause Im always busy and having fun but still even if I dont need it I want her back, suggestions ? ❤
You will hear from your ex again if you have been improving your life while you're doing no contact. The reason why because you look much better and happy without them and that will trigger them to go back to you even if they are with somebody else (because chances are their rebound is not gonna work, trust me).
How can I show her that I'm improving as a person and are happy without her when we're not friends on facebook and not following eachother on instagram anymore?
You have no idea how quickly this video cut my anxiety in half. Even if it isn't true, or doesn't happen....just hearing the encouragement helps tremendously.
@@fabulouskatiepie9441 For my situation? Nothing good, really. She reaches out to me about every 7-weeks after we broke up. My guess, is to test the waters, to see if I still had feelings for her, because she wasn't/isn't sure where she was with the guy she left me for? The last time we had an actual conversation, she said a lot of very suggestive and intimate things to me, then proposed we get together for a drink on a patio in the near future. I agreed and asked her to let me know when she was free. Then...not a peep from her for 2-months. Fast forward to the second week in August and her birthday rolls up. I don't call, I don't text, I don't acknowledge it in any way, what so ever. A week after that, its my birthday and wouldn't you know it...she sends me a "Happy Birthday, hope you have a great day" text with a couple of emojis. I waited a day, then simply replied with a "thank you" and haven't heard from her since. I'm honestly done playing this game with her. I gave exactly what she asked for. I gave her the break up. I didn't chase. I didn't beg. She was OUT. All she needed to do, was not contact me. Yet she insists on popping into my life, every couple of months. I think if she does it again, with no real intent, my next response will be to ask her not to contact me again...if I respond at all. I'm just so tired of the breadcrumbs and feeling like an option to someone, whom I've only ever made my priority!
Hey guys! I just worked out that it has been exactly 400 days if no contact lol... I stopped even thinking about them in that way a long time ago.. it gets better and as much as you may feel like it’s the end of the world, please use this pain to drive you.. over 12 months later, I have realised that ALL the goals I set for myself have been completed plus more. I went into counselling, binged on these vids, did exercise, connect with nature, started veg gardening, went out with my friends more, read books to discover my spirituality (Unthethered soul and the Power of Now is all you need), yoga, meditation, new place, more piano, work has increased, my level of compassion and love for everything and everyone is dramatically increased and I have rediscovered my self worth.. I wouldn’t want him back if he paid me xx love to everyone! Thanks Rory!
23 days into no contact. I'm still not totally over it but I am feeling better and I am understanding myself and the mistakes I made and how to correct them. It is all I can do because it is out of my hands now.
You are so comforting. I searched for comfort amongst my friends and family but non can come close to the reassurance and comfort that you give. Thank you.
Yes. And if not, they didn't care, so not your loss... In the meantime improve, work on urself, so you can tell her about how you improved and are fine...
Great advice! If she indeed don't want to break the barrier to reach out and won't admit her mistakes due to pride meaning she's isn't worthy to be my relationship partner.
I was called abusive and narcissistic but enrolled into therapy and seriously tried to change. I’m going to become a senior in highschool so being labeled “abuser and toxic” in my developing stages really stuck with me. However, I always knew I was capable of changing for the better. My ex told me I’ll never change and she’ll never speak to me again. For the first 2 months of the breakup I was constantly figuring out how I could get her back. What I could say, what I could do. Then I realized, I’m just being manipulative. I kept wondering if I should ever reach out, but then I realized I hurt her so much that she’ll never come back to me. If you do no contact, make sure its forever. It can’t be your idea to get back with them. It has to be theirs. If they ask for space, respect it, and focus on your life. If you believe you were narcissistic/abusive/toxic, realize your actions were wrong and change. They may reach out, but most likely they never will. And thats ok. You’re not that person anymore. All this work you’ve been doing, all this research, will pay off for your next relationship. Don’t make those same mistakes or you’ll end up miserable like you are now.
@@grimoire800 Nope. Sometimes its best to just focus on yourself and heal. The right person will always find you. I learned from my mistakes and the perfect girl found me! Been with her for 5 years. Just stay strong, focus on what you can do to be better. I learned from all my mistakes and it helped me develop and now im in a perfectly healthy relationship. Just hang in there
We dumpees don't ask them out for meet up when they reach out. It's their bare minimum job to do after what they did to us. We can't show them that we still love them or starts chasing them when they reach out after what we've gone through.
Actually it’s the other away around. It stops their breadcrumbs in their tracks and gets to the point. If they say no, just simply say “it was great to hear from you, but I have to run. Keep in touch”
The two channels I respect and watch is this one and coach lee’s. No contact actually works, and just do it. Full trust. After no contact, make it easier for the dumper and respond nice and casual. Then just be fun, don’t be negative. Im proud to say that my ex is beginning to have feelings for me again because we just talked yesterday and how I asked how things are a bit weird. She went all out and told me how she won’t hide anything from me again (probably because she thought about how her friend’s relationship ended from her night out with her). They will think about it, and they will come back. If not, you always have second options. She started giving me the bubbly and passionate care she used to give me, and she really misses me. Focus on yourself, do no contact. I know its hard. Its been almost two months for me doing it. But trust the process.
I thought that I will never hear from my ex again until a few weeks ago, I applied no-contact improving on my personal goals. I realize that I was never the problem. We went out like 5 times. To be honest I’m better without her. It’s hard but, sometimes you have to love yourself more !
B K Well the second we broke up she made up with old friend and went on his birthday. Im 20 shes 17. its about 35 days of nc, her birthday is in 5 days, i wont reach out...
B K i tried 3 times to make things right, and she jusy didint wanted to, and after breakup i texted some girl and she got upset, we talked , i said i dont like other i just want her, then we argued and i said im done and that im gone , and i went into NC
It's been over 7 months since I spoke to my ex. I ended up walking away , bc I found out she had a new bf, so she said , so I basically told her that we shouldn't be talking and that it's disrespectful. I wished her well, and seized all contact with her. For about a period of a month, she was obsessively stalking me on socials. Maybe she had second thoughts, or maybe she expected me to beg, which I didn't. Either way, I left it for about a month until I decided to put my stuff on private, because she wasn't reaching out. I felt as though she was trying to get in my head. So couple month's of no access to my socials, I put it back on public ,leading up to my mum's wedding. But it had been so long that, I was comfortable having her look without it bothering me. Fast forward to 7 ish months, I wouldn't want her back, even if she regretted it. I feel as though she took me as a person, for granted. But I let it go on for too long, when usually with ppl in general I don't let things slide. I'm doing alot better as a single person. And I believe whenever the time does come when I get into a committed relationship again, I will be a much better person
My 6 year ex gf reached out after 2 years it’s been 3 years ever since the breakup and she still tries to reach out every year, I don’t respond due to infidelity she admit it, them she she said it was not true, who cares i was over it after that, anyways guys and girls just go full on no contact they eventually will reach out, if you’re watching this video it means that you cared about that person, they probably did not it’s hard to explain but, but just be in no contact and yo will see peoples true colors at the end hope this help, the reason I’m here is because it was on my recommendation, and my ex sent me a message a week ago and i did not care trust the process you don’t want someone who doesn’t want you.
Ok. so six months so far, and I have not heard from my ex. I think it is important to understand your ex attachment style, that will give you more insights. In my case I was shocked when my ex initiated the break up because I did not expect it in million year (I thought nothing on earth can spit us), but that happened and she was very determined that no power on earth can change her mind. My ex is very avoidant person, and she go extreme and harsh. What she did during the break up was worse than a nightmare, honestly can't even imagine that my enemy would treat me the way she did. It is a huge lesson in my life, you never even say something impossible, human being change in ways you never ever expect.
Could be years. Hmm. My ex-fiancée reached out to me 19 years later after she dumped me. At that time I was seeing someone else and she told me she regretted dumping me and wanting me back. I’m not with her.
@@ciaraboyle30 It's a slightly snide reminder that's it's not the dog who was hurt by this. They know this and it just shows them in a humorous way that it's a silly question. A month is actually nowhere near enough time to get over a lost love, if the relationship was truly meaningful.
Doesnt matter if you hear from them again anyways, it MATTERS if they WANT you again huge difference!! your heart could break all over again simply *hearing* from them and they have no intent for more
I gain insight from every single one of your videos! When i feel the weight of rejection, i come to these videos to look at life rationally. Your words help take me out of my emotions and into reality. It can be hard to look at things retrospectively and long term when the pain is this strong. But thank you for your wonderful advice and voice!! 🙂
Here’s an update: 4 months of no contact and he came back with a long message for me. He ended up confessing he had been dreaming about me most nights, he still loves me, etc. We have been the happiest we’ve ever been these past few months. The break did us well. Thank you for these videos, they kept me sane during a really bad time in my life! ♥️ ❤️🙏🏼
There is no timescale for re-connecting with someone you were close to. It could be months or in my case years! Rest assured they will think about you and the good things you had. But you made need to change, or you may have learnt from the past and changed anyway. We are not fixed in our ways, we will continue to grow and learn throughout our llives. Never say Never just LEARN TO BE PATIENT. In the meantime get on with your life and look forward not back.
I got dumped last week by email the day after a trip together in the Caribbean that he paid for entirely.😔. He said that he came to the conclusion that we are not an ideal match with no specific reason and that he considered it more as a friendship . He added that was not the sole reason for the breakup as he wrote that his 16 year old daughter needs him, his horrific breakup with his ex 6 years ago. He also wants to be friends in the future and I never responded to his email. He did send me a random text of a RUclips video early the next morning regarding a book on negotiation I show him that I bought. Don’t understand why. Still sad 😞 about all of this. We dated for 4 months and had a great connection and was never clingy or needy, I’m very independent. He is 21 years older than me. I will not contact him. So disappointed 😔
If they won’t (I wouldn’t say can’t) admit that they were wrong about something then they don’t have the respect to take responsibility for THEIR actions. You hit the nail right on the head when you said “do you really want someone like that?”... Amen brother, amen. If you have the courage and maturity to fess up to your mistakes, and do something about it (actions), then they should do the same for themselves and for you. Never settle people. You’re all beautiful and you deserve that in return. Boundaries are SOOOO important. I don’t want to come off as a preacher... I just know what it’s like to be taken advantage of and have your efforts be unappreciated by your loved one. However, not anymore 😎. I have self love now 😁👍🏼. Great video coach!! Thank you and keep up the great work!
I totally agree! First, all the videos are great, and I am very appreciative of the help provided to me too. And I think the ex must acknowledge somehow his responsibility for the pain he caused. Just texting out of the blue to wish me happy birthday, is not enough for me to rush and ask to meet him in person. Why? Out of fear that he might change his mind in the next 5 minutes? Oh, well then! There is no point to see him in person then.
I must tell you that this Coach will rise so high, his words has a power to heal the wounds and give a lots of confidence , I really admired you Coach, you are absolutely amazing❤️🙏
It's been 6 weeks of NC! Part of me says to let go, but the other says "he'll come back"(feels like it's coming from my gut) though I don't know if it's really just me hoping for him to come back!! 3 years with this guy and he just left in 5 minutes!
Its already been 38 days of no contact and I started as soon as she dumped me. No begging. It was "ok see ya!" I dont think I'll ever hear from her again but I honestly dont care anymore. That's a long time not to see her from a 7 year relationship. Oh well. I think you can feel something inside your body that tells you its over forever or theres a chance. My mind and body is saying NO! Nothing I can do from here on out so I will just accept it. Nothing I can do......
@KingJugganaut19 Dude my ex has her original facebook account says she engaged to me with all our pics! WTF!!?? She created a new one that says single? Weird
Similar situation..almost 7 years is good LDR, was good relationship.no arguing ,no cheating,.. break up was painfull but i didnt argue, wish my ex luck ... and decides to go to NC, already 33 days into NC rule..1st week was very bad, sad, i was devastated... but after that 1st week i decided to take a break from.social media and work on myself..and survive.. i still feel that emptiness and sadness..but i have to be strong and i will not break NC rule even if i never hear back from my ex. Even though my heart is broken i still have my dignity and self respect.
I'm working on myself but giving them 3 months to reach out. Mentally I need a cut off. My life is not a revolving door for people to walk in and out. After 3 months they can stay gone.
Good on you. I’m on 2 months NC and was planning to move on in another 3 months. All of a sudden someone fell into my life unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. We have been hanging out and we are starting to develop feelings but I told her my situation and I wasn’t 100% emotionally available yet and I refuse. Rebound relationship.She said she respects my communication of where I’m at and that we will go slow and I’m worth waiting for. What a feeling to have again! Still in pain but everyday the pain is changing from a sharp jolt to a dull ache. Memories are fading of what I had of my Ex. Slowly this new persons face is replacing my Ex’s in my head
@KingJugganaut19 show abit of compassion moron!! You can't judge all that on missing him without the full bloody story! Pull your head in, can't have constructive criticism then keep it to yourself!
Wow thank you so much for this mini session of advice and reflection. I've been going through a rough break up and just discovered your channel. It has help me alot
My ex sent me a friend request on fb. I declined his request. He left me for someone else, and I don't think I can be friends with him. I don't he'd contact me again after that rejection. 😂
Just because they reach out doesn't mean they want to get back together, especially if only just a few days or even weeks have passed. My ex reached out two times, after 1 each passed week, was really warm and open, but as soon as I showed interest in her back, she withdrew again, actually even more so, stating how much she closed up actually and "doesn't know what she wants". You don't want to hear it, but it's very likely if they reach out too soon, or at least sooner than you expected, it's just a power struggle. They want to know if you're there for them... they pull the string and you respond. I'm done with reliving the breakup again and again. I moved on for good.
Yes she is coming back we love each other didn't stop it was others and I am confident with who I am God loves all i am telling you this..God loves all
Thankyou Rory. You dont know how much your channel and Dating Guy has helped me. My ex reached out after 2 months. And Yes people, No Contact effing works. Stick to it, it helps you feel better about yourself overtime. Which is the most important thing
@@qazihubaib4784 no we didn't. The feelings wasn't there anymore, so I called it off, the tide turned and she was the one chasing. I realized after I was hurt from the feeling of rejection than actually missing her.
Well shit I keep hearing “work on yourself”. But I can’t honestly find ways to do that. I’m already extremely fit. I own two businesses which are thriving. I’m always reading and learning... so all that has already been taken care of. I’ve already worked on myself for my entire life. So now it’s just wait? Honestly, have no desire to be with anybody else so dating sounds nauseating.
Not so long ago my ex left me, cuz she had problems with showing love and this hurt me, because at the time i felt like i didnt impress here enough to stay, but after watching this video it made me feel much stronger and i thank you so much.
I feel like it cannot be real. Is anyone else struggling after being broken up with? Any suggestions on other coaches or therapist that talk about the topic?
She’s a crush... she left me on read and hasn’t contacted me since January. I was a relationship status post with someone else. She never talked about him to me and she never commented or liked that post. No current statuses... nothing
I am currently texting with a guy I was madly in love with. It ended savagely 8 years ago. We beat that dead horse into the next world and kept on beating it. We both blocked each other from everything and still managed to throw rocks at that dead horse. He finally gave in and sent me a text saying how he finally got help like I had asked him to. He’s living a good life. I used videos like these to help me move on and by God, they are right. You hear from them again. Stay strong. Work on yourself and your faults because you have them too.
I mean it helps to hear this.. but honestly because mine has literally happened over and over again.. (beating a dead horse) literally happened again now.. I doubt she'll ever even send a message to me anymore.. Blocked on everything.
I have a different experience... My ex broke up with me and then blocked me on everything the next day. That was 12 years ago. She meanwhile married and had kids. I'm still blocked but no contact is gonna work any day now 😂
3 months of no contact. I gave up after 2. She lost her best friend as well (me) because she wanted to find herself and improve. What a lame excuse to end 4 year relationship
We don't know what anyone else is thinkin or feeling. Work on yourself and move on. She still may come around...usually when you completely let them go. It is so strange.
klint i've seen you on just about every relationship coach style page (i know because i've been to em all too). i urge you to check out alan robarge and peter gerlach - they both have youtube channels that focus on becoming aware of and healing past attachment traumas. the pain you're feeling has less to do with your ex and your previous relationship and more to do with unresolved pain from your past that hasn't been dealt with and integrated.
I’ve been broken up for 4 months...like 3 weeks of no contact. I’m miserable, last I talked to him he said he had moved on, he was happy and he never wanted to be with me or even someone like me again...I don’t know the likelihood of him coming back now...but I’m absolutely broken and even more so that I know he’s fine and moved on. We were together 2 years. How did he move on so fast.
The words he used should help you to let go and move on. I always find it easier to move on when I know there's no way back. Sure it stings to know that at first but it really does help. And, moving on doesn't mean having to be in a new relationship. It just means being happy in life doing your own thing until someone else does come along.
I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing serious with me. So he said what is the conclusion now that I told you what I want ( I said we want different things, so this won’t work for me ). He was shocked with how ok I was with this. Next day he texted again and actually disappeared mid convo ! What happened ?
I got dumped for not wanting kids. We were happy. He was happy. He still left. He said "why do I work so hard if not to feed kids?" He was looking for purpose. He said "I still love you but I have to go". Is that separation then according to that logic? He has texted "still miss you" from his new rebound relationship. 7 months later. I am staying in NC for my own mental health I don't find it hard because it hurts so bad to see him and think of him and talk to him.If you asked me when to give him back I'd choose tomorrow. It's been 9 months...
My ex broke up with me I begged and was so needy I tried everything to win her heart over but she made her mind up. It was the hardest thing I ever went through she started dating someone new but I stayed strong and went no contact and worked on myself. 7 months later she reached out! We started hanging out again and she told me it was a huge mistake letting me go. I felt like things were going good but out of no where after 2 weeks she went cold on me. This is so confusing.
@mastanate relationship ended after that.. can't believe that was four years ago lol.. I've dated so many more incredible women since then. It feels like the end of the world when you and your ex break up but really it can open to so many new opportunities for love and relationships. I don't regret that we broke up
I told them to block me on purpose because I knew I couldn’t restrain myself . They did block me and it took some weight off my shoulders . but the last thing they told me was they weren’t happy anymore and that I nagged a lot . The answer sounds obvious but I hope they reach out . They have came back before twice already for the same issue :/
Wow thank you I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm listening all of your videos and its really really helping me right now thanks you're awesome!😘😘😅
After almost 6 months broke no contact twice. Ex never reached out not even on my birthday. Ex left me for someone else. I think ex will never ever reach out maybe ex happy with new relationship and it’s okay. But to not even say hello or happy birthday really hurts.
Depends on the person and the relationship. Most exes don’t get back together. EDIT: actually found out the other day 50% of exes get back together, but a majority don’t stay together. That includes a last hurrah in bed (very common).
Steve, it's not about getting back to that person you left it's about understanding what mistake was made and getting back to a better person, if they haven't changed I agree dont go back
I was doing good for A week but I let my emotions get the better of me and I sent her like 5 texts and now got blocked on everything except Facebook so there still an opening for contact but I’m being patient now wish I would of found your videos sooner 😕
As reading through comments why does it seem so easy for other people for their ex to reach out? Why does it seem so hopeless for me? Why do I have zero hope that the ex will reach out?
This video really helped me. 2 weeks so far since the breakup. I did text him out of sadness one night but all I said was "hey" he didn't respond which is good for me honestly. I don't even know what I would say if he did. But I'm working on myself and I believe that if things/people are meant to be then it will be. If I'm supposed to be with him then there's no rush. If I'm meant to be with someone else in the future then fine. I don't want to waste time and emotions anymore on someone who doesn't care about me anymore. I'm fine with whatever happens in the future honestly. Of course I love him very deeply still but he dumped me and is putting me through pain so 🤷
Going through a 6 yr breakup and he left me last month.. i cried and begged him the whole month until a week ago i went into no contact. He reached out 3 times and i told him to leave me alone he dumped me why does he care if im happy and he said he is enjoying his freedom. I hung up. I hope he realizes he needs me and loves me to reach out.. i miss him so much but i have faith he will🙏🏼❤️😔
I went no contact and my ex crawled back to her ex boyfriend. They were together for a year before me and her started dating, and we were only together for about 46 days. Can you make a video about what to do when you’re the one who is a rebound?
Just remember in the future to never be someone's rebound. Sometimes they can work out but more often than not they don't work out. Never get emotionally invested as a rebound.
she said one of the reasons she broke up with me cuz she said i was needy & clingy....so I'm hoping that this no contact thing will work....& my anxiety was to much for her
My ex will never come back I just know it. He told my friend he knew the relationship wouldn't be the same and he's unhappy so he just wants to move on. I hate my life
Dear god, it is hitting me again so bad :( after a year, i was checking my calls in whatsap and just saw her profile pic, it hit me hard, i could not look more than 2 secs, she is not my list, but she has me on her contacts. I thought the pain were less but no:( I have been crying all day
My husband called it quits with me just 2days after our ceremony because, he felt really bad about our families being against our marriage. He told me he would fight for us, not let me go etc. in the beginning, but all that went out the window when he suddenly had a change of heart. It was so weird too...almost as if someone convinced him it was the right decision to get rid of me. :( He went from such a happy, loving gentleman to a distant, heartless brute.
Hope you’re doing better 10months on. That is a hideous story to read, let alone live out. How are you now? In the end, I guess your family was right. What a twat
@@25ahn I'm much better now, thanks for asking. It was tough for months after, but it was a valuable learning lesson. I also learned to trust my gut from now on.
My ex won't contact me because she doesn't want to get drawn back into a LDR which she feels is doomed to fail. She's stubborn, but ultimately it's to protect herself from more pain and heartbreak. Since we're in pandemic times rn, planning a visit overseas isn't exactly easy, which would be my next step. Pretty much at a loss, hating life rn. :'-) Edit: Also, I was the one who initiated the breakup, so yeah. Biggest regret of my life.
i only made it through 28 days of no contact before sending a text. got ghosted. sent another one the next day. she said she'd reach out to me when she was ready. that was five weeks ago, and every day has been a struggle.
This is such bad advice. My ex reached out to me to wish me a Happy Birthday after 1 month of NC, and I feel like I came on too strong and blew it by "striking while the iron was hot." He got annoyed by me trying to have a conversation and I did mention the idea of us getting together because I listened to this video before he reached out. After that, he wrote me a letter and said he shouldn't have texted me on my birthday. And he said he would be open to being friends in a few months, but we could never be more than just friends. I have listened to other videos that seem to have better advice after your ex reaches out and not blowing it by being over eager. They said you should keep it casual and focus on building your connection vs. putting pressure on your ex and making them run for the hills.
I didn't respond to the letter and went back into No Contact. So I have no idea if I blew it for good or if he'll reach out to me again. I feel like I blew it. We've now been broken up for almost 2 months.
That’s the problem. We woke up together on Thursday morning, she said I’m cooking dinner for you tonight. Text throughout the day, I get home from work to a note. Her stuff was gone and I was lost and confused. 3 weeks today, no contact since initial WTF. Help
I'm on the 3rd day of no contact 😢....it's the 3rd time trying this, cuz the other previous times i accidentally message her on fb my finger slipped, big hands lol
great advice, that was something I needed right now. Yeah this one person I was dating a short amount of time, disrespected me and i walked out... I got blamed.. I got the chance to say sorry, but no shes a jerk. I don't need that stuff. I did end it with I was starting to love you message which I was said from feeling, but other then that I left alone. She blocked me off. I saw a message of I have to see you. I just lost it being told "my application was passed, because I disrespected her..." makes no sense to me. I told her the apology just seemed more like she was entitled. I wrote her, pushed for good things and she was just ungrateful
I did lots of post break up mistake like begging, plead and pestering her. I also proposed the friendship and stalked her, I felt bad tbh about myself. We were doing LDR for 4 years. Do you think I still have a high chance for her to come back?
Is there any way of getting your advice on my situation? I was with my ex for 3 years. Due to circumstances it turned into a LDR but we were within 2 months of moving in together. We had discussed marriage and kids and she said she wanted to spend her life with me and how much she loved me. I admit I had jealousy issues but without going into detail here I was justified in being like that. I do admit that at times it must have been hard for her to deal with. But to walk away so easily after 3 years after everything we had been through and planned is heartbreaking. I initially begged and pleaded but she said she needed space. On our last call she admitted to getting with a married guy from work (although some people commented that maybe she just said that to push me away and make it easier). It broke me so I went into no contact after that call. Its been 90 days today and nothing. We don't have social media so I have no way of knowing how she is. Sometimes I think that maybe she is afraid of reaching out because of how she ended it and what she said so she may think I don't want to talk anymore. But i guess the reality is that she has moved on and has completely forgotten me by now. I treated her so well. I cared for her and did so much for her. I would understand if I cheated or was violent or something but to just walk away. Makes me think did she ever love me. I came so close to reaching out so many times but she walked away and she chose this so am I right in saying this needs to come from her. Or as a man, I should text and just see how she is? I just think she walked away from me and stamped all over my heart so needs to be her to reach out? I am struggling so much. I don't know what to do. Think of her all the time.
Two years since these comments were posted, I've found myself in the same boat sometime last week. A breakup - and I am the dumpee. 2yrs LDR, with plans for marriage and family (discussed a few times), future adventures and escapades... Not gonna happen anymore. Life happens; people change, and situations do change as well. I'm not sure how things turned out for you guys. Any updates? As for myself, the only goal is to keep on focusing on me, and watch more of these videos. They're refreshing.💞Journaling and spending time with buddies/family also makes the difference.
I'm gonna be straight up honest, Agus. Don't reach out to her. Focus on other avenues for your growth and success. It can (and it will) work. Often, we forget who we are while involved/invested in someone. It's a common mistake we all make at one point or another. Begging them to come back, before or after breaking up - not a wise idea. Focus on bettering you.💯
Mine reached out after a week and a half with the direct/indirect approach. I didn't feel comfortable asking them out at that point, since it was only a week and a half after and it was such an intense falling out/breakup. Now it has been 2.5 weeks since he has contacted me. Smh.
Will i hear from her if she dumped me because of her depression? We had a good relationship and we never fought but she had not dealt with the traumas she had in her bagage before we met. I was stupid to tell her she is my best friend and that i will always be here for her. I have not broken no contact for about a month now. I still miss her but i have changed all of my bad routines, not for her but for myself
Rory's good. A genuine person. I had an opportunity to have a session with him. He's filled with wisdom and will teach you something about yourself.
CalumG. Thank you for the kind words! Happy Thanksgiving!
CalumG. I totally agree!!!@
3 weeks ago my ex gf wrote me by message that she doesnt feel the same things as before and that she kissed a guy. All this happened while we was on vacation and at that point i saw her the last time 3 weeks before. I told her to wait to comeback and talk in person, maybe was just a moment. Now i think this isnt what she truly want because we left each other (before go on vacation) in the possible way (our relationship was becoming always better and she was a lot more passionate and into it). When she "broke up" with me i told her i wanted to talk face to face when she was going to return home (my intentions was to talk about it but at that time i didnt watch all the ex topic videos) after the break i went in "No Contact", after a 10 days she wrote me "what's up" and i responded after hours "good good, you ?" and than she replied with just good. Now it's been 2 weeks since that happened and nothing more, we have been togheter for 6 months, what should i do ? I feel a lot better now, worked on me and posting things on socials cause Im always busy and having fun but still even if I dont need it I want her back, suggestions ? ❤
Tilted_Yullo good
@@tilted_yullo5820 well I can give you one if she didn’t feel like getting back even after all these months then don’t think about her.
You will hear from your ex again if you have been improving your life while you're doing no contact. The reason why because you look much better and happy without them and that will trigger them to go back to you even if they are with somebody else (because chances are their rebound is not gonna work, trust me).
my ex reached out being in the rebound and i didn't ask her out because of that, i feel like i blew it
If they come back to you after you improved your life, they are only using you. Right?
How can I show her that I'm improving as a person and are happy without her when we're not friends on facebook and not following eachother on instagram anymore?
MrElementHD Nooo don't contact her no matter what or even plan a date (you'll sound desperate) wait for her to contact u first
@@elliejohns8895 yeah I wouldn't plan a date or anything before she eventually contacts me or we randomly meet some place
2 months and my ex reached out yesterday. You just have to stay strong and believe they will.
Justin Stevenson thanks 🙏🏽
It’s been 5 months for me . But i guess it also depends on the person.
Hoping
Hoping
Thank you, how did you breakup?
I think it is better to cut any hope of the ex's return to be able to move on
This man help me with same situation of yours and my relationship with my partner was restored..
He is a nice man indeed,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8
Yes. And if they do come back and you want them and it looks like it might work? Bonus...
You have no idea how quickly this video cut my anxiety in half. Even if it isn't true, or doesn't happen....just hearing the encouragement helps tremendously.
This man help me with same situation of yours and my relationship with my partner was restored..
+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8
Update?
@@fabulouskatiepie9441 For my situation? Nothing good, really. She reaches out to me about every 7-weeks after we broke up. My guess, is to test the waters, to see if I still had feelings for her, because she wasn't/isn't sure where she was with the guy she left me for? The last time we had an actual conversation, she said a lot of very suggestive and intimate things to me, then proposed we get together for a drink on a patio in the near future. I agreed and asked her to let me know when she was free. Then...not a peep from her for 2-months.
Fast forward to the second week in August and her birthday rolls up. I don't call, I don't text, I don't acknowledge it in any way, what so ever. A week after that, its my birthday and wouldn't you know it...she sends me a "Happy Birthday, hope you have a great day" text with a couple of emojis. I waited a day, then simply replied with a "thank you" and haven't heard from her since.
I'm honestly done playing this game with her. I gave exactly what she asked for. I gave her the break up. I didn't chase. I didn't beg. She was OUT. All she needed to do, was not contact me. Yet she insists on popping into my life, every couple of months. I think if she does it again, with no real intent, my next response will be to ask her not to contact me again...if I respond at all. I'm just so tired of the breadcrumbs and feeling like an option to someone, whom I've only ever made my priority!
For real huh?! Lol thank God for this dude!
Hey guys! I just worked out that it has been exactly 400 days if no contact lol... I stopped even thinking about them in that way a long time ago.. it gets better and as much as you may feel like it’s the end of the world, please use this pain to drive you.. over 12 months later, I have realised that ALL the goals I set for myself have been completed plus more. I went into counselling, binged on these vids, did exercise, connect with nature, started veg gardening, went out with my friends more, read books to discover my spirituality (Unthethered soul and the Power of Now is all you need), yoga, meditation, new place, more piano, work has increased, my level of compassion and love for everything and everyone is dramatically increased and I have rediscovered my self worth.. I wouldn’t want him back if he paid me xx love to everyone! Thanks Rory!
Hello are you planning to get your ex back why don't you try Dr oba he was the one that help me get my ex back ,,,
@@lindagrace4098
23 days into no contact. I'm still not totally over it but I am feeling better and I am understanding myself and the mistakes I made and how to correct them. It is all I can do because it is out of my hands now.
did you hear from them?
@@itsmayratime6766 I have on several occasions. She just felt guilty and didn't really want me anymore. I have moved on and am working on myself.
Awww :(
@@PianoMan4Life1982 ...good for u.
So sad to me . but listen im so jealous of you. You did so much better than i
You are so comforting. I searched for comfort amongst my friends and family but non can come close to the reassurance and comfort that you give. Thank you.
We have to "men up" with our ripped out heart...
Yes. And if not, they didn't care, so not your loss... In the meantime improve, work on urself, so you can tell her about how you improved and are fine...
Great advice! If she indeed don't want to break the barrier to reach out and won't admit her mistakes due to pride meaning she's isn't worthy to be my relationship partner.
3 weeks no contact. Your videos make me positive! I’m enjoying this time to love myself and work on me. Thank you!
I was called abusive and narcissistic but enrolled into therapy and seriously tried to change. I’m going to become a senior in highschool so being labeled “abuser and toxic” in my developing stages really stuck with me. However, I always knew I was capable of changing for the better. My ex told me I’ll never change and she’ll never speak to me again. For the first 2 months of the breakup I was constantly figuring out how I could get her back. What I could say, what I could do. Then I realized, I’m just being manipulative. I kept wondering if I should ever reach out, but then I realized I hurt her so much that she’ll never come back to me. If you do no contact, make sure its forever. It can’t be your idea to get back with them. It has to be theirs. If they ask for space, respect it, and focus on your life. If you believe you were narcissistic/abusive/toxic, realize your actions were wrong and change. They may reach out, but most likely they never will. And thats ok. You’re not that person anymore. All this work you’ve been doing, all this research, will pay off for your next relationship. Don’t make those same mistakes or you’ll end up miserable like you are now.
Well shit... did you spy on my break up? Same happend to me
Update
@DaRealJYP any update? Did she come back?
@@grimoire800 Nope. Sometimes its best to just focus on yourself and heal. The right person will always find you. I learned from my mistakes and the perfect girl found me! Been with her for 5 years. Just stay strong, focus on what you can do to be better. I learned from all my mistakes and it helped me develop and now im in a perfectly healthy relationship. Just hang in there
@DaRealJYP Thank you I'll do my best. Just hurts being alone when I gave my heart to her yk. 😅 But thank you
We dumpees don't ask them out for meet up when they reach out. It's their bare minimum job to do after what they did to us. We can't show them that we still love them or starts chasing them when they reach out after what we've gone through.
Actually it’s the other away around. It stops their breadcrumbs in their tracks and gets to the point. If they say no, just simply say “it was great to hear from you, but I have to run. Keep in touch”
exactly, they need to be the ones to ask you out
The two channels I respect and watch is this one and coach lee’s. No contact actually works, and just do it. Full trust. After no contact, make it easier for the dumper and respond nice and casual. Then just be fun, don’t be negative. Im proud to say that my ex is beginning to have feelings for me again because we just talked yesterday and how I asked how things are a bit weird. She went all out and told me how she won’t hide anything from me again (probably because she thought about how her friend’s relationship ended from her night out with her). They will think about it, and they will come back. If not, you always have second options.
She started giving me the bubbly and passionate care she used to give me, and she really misses me. Focus on yourself, do no contact. I know its hard. Its been almost two months for me doing it. But trust the process.
did u got back w her
@@nurfarashaa8390 nope, i chose not to have her for personal reasons.
If a man leaves me, I don't want him back! Let him keep it moving!
I thought that I will never hear from my ex again until a few weeks ago, I applied no-contact improving on my personal goals. I realize that I was never the problem. We went out like 5 times. To be honest I’m better without her. It’s hard but, sometimes you have to love yourself more !
all my ex came back. just saying
G R can we talk?
B K i need someone to talk to, and go trough this, if u want to add me on insta risticcvladan
B K did she contacted u?
B K Well the second we broke up she made up with old friend and went on his birthday. Im 20 shes 17. its about 35 days of nc, her birthday is in 5 days, i wont reach out...
B K i tried 3 times to make things right, and she jusy didint wanted to, and after breakup i texted some girl and she got upset, we talked , i said i dont like other i just want her, then we argued and i said im done and that im gone , and i went into NC
Damn your voice made me forget all about my ex 😂😂... I was not expecting that ... love your voice ❤
Lol I was thinking the same thing...what a voice.
🤢 😂
gEi
Lawd I'm in love with his voice
Hahaha yeah..I like the voice😁
It's been over 7 months since I spoke to my ex. I ended up walking away , bc I found out she had a new bf, so she said , so I basically told her that we shouldn't be talking and that it's disrespectful. I wished her well, and seized all contact with her.
For about a period of a month, she was obsessively stalking me on socials. Maybe she had second thoughts, or maybe she expected me to beg, which I didn't. Either way, I left it for about a month until I decided to put my stuff on private, because she wasn't reaching out. I felt as though she was trying to get in my head. So couple month's of no access to my socials, I put it back on public ,leading up to my mum's wedding. But it had been so long that, I was comfortable having her look without it bothering me. Fast forward to 7 ish months, I wouldn't want her back, even if she regretted it. I feel as though she took me as a person, for granted. But I let it go on for too long, when usually with ppl in general I don't let things slide. I'm doing alot better as a single person. And I believe whenever the time does come when I get into a committed relationship again, I will be a much better person
My 6 year ex gf reached out after 2 years it’s been 3 years ever since the breakup and she still tries to reach out every year, I don’t respond due to infidelity she admit it, them she she said it was not true, who cares i was over it after that, anyways guys and girls just go full on no contact they eventually will reach out, if you’re watching this video it means that you cared about that person, they probably did not it’s hard to explain but, but just be in no contact and yo will see peoples true colors at the end hope this help, the reason I’m here is because it was on my recommendation, and my ex sent me a message a week ago and i did not care trust the process you don’t want someone who doesn’t want you.
My ex who broke up w me 8 years ago just sent me a friendsrequest on FB after years of no contact. I deleted it!
🤣🤣Goodd
Ok. so six months so far, and I have not heard from my ex. I think it is important to understand your ex attachment style, that will give you more insights. In my case I was shocked when my ex initiated the break up because I did not expect it in million year (I thought nothing on earth can spit us), but that happened and she was very determined that no power on earth can change her mind. My ex is very avoidant person, and she go extreme and harsh. What she did during the break up was worse than a nightmare, honestly can't even imagine that my enemy would treat me the way she did. It is a huge lesson in my life, you never even say something impossible, human being change in ways you never ever expect.
Update?
@@FrisianIrons No! Have not heard from her for a year. Completely cut me off. Sorry no positive updates!
@@chevy2583 did she ever reach out?
Could be years. Hmm. My ex-fiancée reached out to me 19 years later after she dumped me. At that time I was seeing someone else and she told me she regretted dumping me and wanting me back. I’m not with her.
dobrautero 19 years! A new record!
The Love Chat - Yeh wow!
Anonight Wolf when your ex reaches out it’s usually after you moved on.
@InhumanCondition thank you for your feel-good story. you've already gotten over the grieving and now it is her turn. Lol!
@@Minisynapse she reached out to me and it was totally unexpected.
"HAVING A PAINFULL BREAKUP"
*falls into depression for like a month*
and gets a text from ex
*"HEY HOW IS DOG DOING?"*
I'd respond with "Still by my side walking through depths of hell. XD
Just a lil joke. Don't reply at all.
@@wildanS what does that mean ?
@@ciaraboyle30 It's a slightly snide reminder that's it's not the dog who was hurt by this.
They know this and it just shows them in a humorous way that it's a silly question.
A month is actually nowhere near enough time to get over a lost love, if the relationship was truly meaningful.
You should've replied...."Dog is well". Lol
You should say “Totally loves a new person I’m fucking” :D
I've been depressed for the past 5 days after my ex broke up with me, but this just made my day :)
Doesnt matter if you hear from them again anyways, it MATTERS if they WANT you again huge difference!! your heart could break all over again simply *hearing* from them and they have no intent for more
I gain insight from every single one of your videos! When i feel the weight of rejection, i come to these videos to look at life rationally. Your words help take me out of my emotions and into reality. It can be hard to look at things retrospectively and long term when the pain is this strong. But thank you for your wonderful advice and voice!! 🙂
Here’s an update: 4 months of no contact and he came back with a long message for me. He ended up confessing he had been dreaming about me most nights, he still loves me, etc. We have been the happiest we’ve ever been these past few months. The break did us well.
Thank you for these videos, they kept me sane during a really bad time in my life! ♥️ ❤️🙏🏼
There is no timescale for re-connecting with someone you were close to. It could be months or in my case years! Rest assured they will think about you and the good things you had. But you made need to change, or you may have learnt from the past and changed anyway. We are not fixed in our ways, we will continue to grow and learn throughout our llives. Never say Never just LEARN TO BE PATIENT. In the meantime get on with your life and look forward not back.
I got dumped last week by email the day after a trip together in the Caribbean that he paid for entirely.😔. He said that he came to the conclusion that we are not an ideal match with no specific reason and that he considered it more as a friendship . He added that was not the sole reason for the breakup as he wrote that his 16 year old daughter needs him, his horrific breakup with his ex 6 years ago. He also wants to be friends in the future and I never responded to his email. He did send me a random text of a RUclips video early the next morning regarding a book on negotiation I show him that I bought. Don’t understand why. Still sad 😞 about all of this. We dated for 4 months and had a great connection and was never clingy or needy, I’m very independent. He is 21 years older than me. I will not contact him. So disappointed 😔
If they won’t (I wouldn’t say can’t) admit that they were wrong about something then they don’t have the respect to take responsibility for THEIR actions. You hit the nail right on the head when you said “do you really want someone like that?”... Amen brother, amen. If you have the courage and maturity to fess up to your mistakes, and do something about it (actions), then they should do the same for themselves and for you. Never settle people. You’re all beautiful and you deserve that in return. Boundaries are SOOOO important. I don’t want to come off as a preacher... I just know what it’s like to be taken advantage of and have your efforts be unappreciated by your loved one. However, not anymore 😎. I have self love now 😁👍🏼. Great video coach!! Thank you and keep up the great work!
I totally agree! First, all the videos are great, and I am very appreciative of the help provided to me too. And I think the ex must acknowledge somehow his responsibility for the pain he caused. Just texting out of the blue to wish me happy birthday, is not enough for me to rush and ask to meet him in person. Why? Out of fear that he might change his mind in the next 5 minutes? Oh, well then! There is no point to see him in person then.
I must tell you that this Coach will rise so high, his words has a power to heal the wounds and give a lots of confidence , I really admired you Coach, you are absolutely amazing❤️🙏
Wow, thank you for the kind words!!
Definitely amazing
It's been 6 weeks of NC! Part of me says to let go, but the other says "he'll come back"(feels like it's coming from my gut) though I don't know if it's really just me hoping for him to come back!! 3 years with this guy and he just left in 5 minutes!
I feel the same way, sometimes I feel in my heart he’ll be back but I don’t know if it’s just wishful thinking.
Anna Kam Hang in there! My ex came back 2 weeks after I posted this (took 2 months of no contact). We are back and trying again.
nataher1226 Could i ask when you started NC after breaking up?
@@nataher1226 thank you for updating , 24 days NC and hopeless roller coaster
@@졔-c5o Immediately after he broke up with me!
I broke no contact many times and now I have to accept that I will never hear from my ex again. However I think just move on either way it’s better.
Its already been 38 days of no contact and I started as soon as she dumped me. No begging. It was "ok see ya!"
I dont think I'll ever hear from her again but I honestly dont care anymore. That's a long time not to see her from a 7 year relationship.
Oh well.
I think you can feel something inside your body that tells you its over forever or theres a chance.
My mind and body is saying NO!
Nothing I can do from here on out so I will just accept it. Nothing I can do......
@KingJugganaut19
Dude my ex has her original facebook account says she engaged to me with all our pics!
WTF!!??
She created a new one that says single?
Weird
@KingJugganaut19 updates?
Similar situation..almost 7 years is good LDR, was good relationship.no arguing ,no cheating,.. break up was painfull but i didnt argue, wish my ex luck ... and decides to go to NC, already 33 days into NC rule..1st week was very bad, sad, i was devastated... but after that 1st week i decided to take a break from.social media and work on myself..and survive.. i still feel that emptiness and sadness..but i have to be strong and i will not break NC rule even if i never hear back from my ex. Even though my heart is broken i still have my dignity and self respect.
Upstairs??
Jelena Vecic your name sounds Serbian
I'm working on myself but giving them 3 months to reach out. Mentally I need a cut off. My life is not a revolving door for people to walk in and out. After 3 months they can stay gone.
Good on you. I’m on 2 months NC and was planning to move on in another 3 months. All of a sudden someone fell into my life unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. We have been hanging out and we are starting to develop feelings but I told her my situation and I wasn’t 100% emotionally available yet and I refuse. Rebound relationship.She said she respects my communication of where I’m at and that we will go slow and I’m worth waiting for. What a feeling to have again! Still in pain but everyday the pain is changing from a sharp jolt to a dull ache. Memories are fading of what I had of my Ex. Slowly this new persons face is replacing my Ex’s in my head
@@jimmythuhandThe last sentence is very telling and shows the great progress you're making great progress. The future's bright. All the best.
@@dragoncult666 Update?
I miss him so much😭
m ck how u holding up
I miss my person too....
Girl me too almost 2 months I’m miserable 😩 I loved him so much
@KingJugganaut19 show abit of compassion moron!! You can't judge all that on missing him without the full bloody story! Pull your head in, can't have constructive criticism then keep it to yourself!
Same!
Wow thank you so much for this mini session of advice and reflection. I've been going through a rough break up and just discovered your channel. It has help me alot
M N I'm glad I could help!!
How was it now?
Lian Francisco sorry, do you mean how is it now?
@@mn8411 Update?
My ex sent me a friend request on fb. I declined his request. He left me for someone else, and I don't think I can be friends with him. I don't he'd contact me again after that rejection. 😂
Just because they reach out doesn't mean they want to get back together, especially if only just a few days or even weeks have passed. My ex reached out two times, after 1 each passed week, was really warm and open, but as soon as I showed interest in her back, she withdrew again, actually even more so, stating how much she closed up actually and "doesn't know what she wants".
You don't want to hear it, but it's very likely if they reach out too soon, or at least sooner than you expected, it's just a power struggle. They want to know if you're there for them... they pull the string and you respond. I'm done with reliving the breakup again and again. I moved on for good.
Just like if they don't reach out to you or contact you, that doesn't always necessarily mean they don't want you back.
Yes she is coming back we love each other didn't stop it was others and I am confident with who I am God loves all i am telling you this..God loves all
Thankyou Rory. You dont know how much your channel and Dating Guy has helped me. My ex reached out after 2 months.
And Yes people, No Contact effing works. Stick to it, it helps you feel better about yourself overtime. Which is the most important thing
@@qazihubaib4784 no we didn't. The feelings wasn't there anymore, so I called it off, the tide turned and she was the one chasing.
I realized after I was hurt from the feeling of rejection than actually missing her.
I thought I would watch your videos from the beginning and I'm glad I did... The "stubborn ex" point is spot on. Thank you for your wise words.
Well shit I keep hearing “work on yourself”. But I can’t honestly find ways to do that. I’m already extremely fit. I own two businesses which are thriving. I’m always reading and learning... so all that has already been taken care of. I’ve already worked on myself for my entire life. So now it’s just wait? Honestly, have no desire to be with anybody else so dating sounds nauseating.
Find a passion then my friend. You have financial freedom and the ability to do any sport you desire. Utilise it
Better just to let go... if it’s meant to be you’ll see them again.
I really cant imagine anyone on this earth is perfect, theres always room for improvement
Not so long ago my ex left me, cuz she had problems with showing love and this hurt me, because at the time i felt like i didnt impress here enough to stay, but after watching this video it made me feel much stronger and i thank you so much.
Great advice and great audio quality!
The last sentence 🥺❤️
Rory your voice is going to drive me crazyyy 😍❤️ Ex, who? 😂
Come on Rory, give her your number 🤣
Me too
Literally just had the how are you x text as I was listening to this !! My heart skipped a beat and don’t know how to reply
How long have you been in NC??
Write back be neutral and never tell her how you feel....be indifferent with or without
how long were u NC?
hw long were u in NC!
I feel like it cannot be real. Is anyone else struggling after being broken up with? Any suggestions on other coaches or therapist that talk about the topic?
She’s a crush... she left me on read and hasn’t contacted me since January. I was a relationship status post with someone else. She never talked about him to me and she never commented or liked that post. No current statuses... nothing
I am currently texting with a guy I was madly in love with. It ended savagely 8 years ago. We beat that dead horse into the next world and kept on beating it. We both blocked each other from everything and still managed to throw rocks at that dead horse. He finally gave in and sent me a text saying how he finally got help like I had asked him to. He’s living a good life. I used videos like these to help me move on and by God, they are right. You hear from them again. Stay strong. Work on yourself and your faults because you have them too.
I mean it helps to hear this.. but honestly because mine has literally happened over and over again.. (beating a dead horse) literally happened again now.. I doubt she'll ever even send a message to me anymore.. Blocked on everything.
Jess Andujo are you guys doing better now? How are things?
I have a different experience... My ex broke up with me and then blocked me on everything the next day. That was 12 years ago. She meanwhile married and had kids. I'm still blocked but no contact is gonna work any day now 😂
In a nutshell, forget your ex and work on yourself 💪👌
It seems hopeless, but I will trust the process.
update?
@@RenskeLogie it’s been a year, and still nothing. It is true, not everyone will hear from the ex again. ☹️
3 months of no contact. I gave up after 2.
She lost her best friend as well (me) because she wanted to find herself and improve. What a lame excuse to end 4 year relationship
its going to be 7 months after this month i feel she has no more feelings and i no longer exists its a real shitty feeling.
We don't know what anyone else is thinkin or feeling. Work on yourself and move on. She still may come around...usually when you completely let them go. It is so strange.
Marcy Allison all i can do is live my life.
danpi i feel the same
klint i've seen you on just about every relationship coach style page (i know because i've been to em all too). i urge you to check out alan robarge and peter gerlach - they both have youtube channels that focus on becoming aware of and healing past attachment traumas. the pain you're feeling has less to do with your ex and your previous relationship and more to do with unresolved pain from your past that hasn't been dealt with and integrated.
Klint Kwiecien She will contact you
I’ve been broken up for 4 months...like 3 weeks of no contact. I’m miserable, last I talked to him he said he had moved on, he was happy and he never wanted to be with me or even someone like me again...I don’t know the likelihood of him coming back now...but I’m absolutely broken and even more so that I know he’s fine and moved on. We were together 2 years. How did he move on so fast.
The words he used should help you to let go and move on.
I always find it easier to move on when I know there's no way back.
Sure it stings to know that at first but it really does help.
And, moving on doesn't mean having to be in a new relationship. It just means being happy in life doing your own thing until someone else does come along.
I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing serious with me. So he said what is the conclusion now that I told you what I want ( I said we want different things, so this won’t work for me ). He was shocked with how ok I was with this. Next day he texted again and actually disappeared mid convo ! What happened ?
I got dumped for not wanting kids. We were happy. He was happy. He still left. He said "why do I work so hard if not to feed kids?" He was looking for purpose. He said "I still love you but I have to go". Is that separation then according to that logic? He has texted "still miss you" from his new rebound relationship. 7 months later. I am staying in NC for my own mental health I don't find it hard because it hurts so bad to see him and think of him and talk to him.If you asked me when to give him back I'd choose tomorrow. It's been 9 months...
Mine did I had a brain hemorrhage and stroke 14 months later they walked
How are you doing now
My ex broke up with me I begged and was so needy I tried everything to win her heart over but she made her mind up. It was the hardest thing I ever went through she started dating someone new but I stayed strong and went no contact and worked on myself. 7 months later she reached out! We started hanging out again and she told me it was a huge mistake letting me go. I felt like things were going good but out of no where after 2 weeks she went cold on me. This is so confusing.
Update?
@mastanate relationship ended after that.. can't believe that was four years ago lol.. I've dated so many more incredible women since then. It feels like the end of the world when you and your ex break up but really it can open to so many new opportunities for love and relationships. I don't regret that we broke up
I told them to block me on purpose because I knew I couldn’t restrain myself . They did block me and it took some weight off my shoulders . but the last thing they told me was they weren’t happy anymore and that I nagged a lot . The answer sounds obvious but I hope they reach out . They have came back before twice already for the same issue :/
Wow thank you I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm listening all of your videos and its really really helping me right now thanks you're awesome!😘😘😅
After almost 6 months broke no contact twice. Ex never reached out not even on my birthday. Ex left me for someone else. I think ex will never ever reach out maybe ex happy with new relationship and it’s okay. But to not even say hello or happy birthday really hurts.
why would you wanna go back to a toxic relationship that ended?
Steve H bcuz I give sending chances
Steve H second ****
Depends on the person and the relationship. Most exes don’t get back together.
EDIT: actually found out the other day 50% of exes get back together, but a majority don’t stay together. That includes a last hurrah in bed (very common).
@@christophervibe7430 I agree because over time, people learn from their own mistakes and change into someone more mature.
Steve, it's not about getting back to that person you left it's about understanding what mistake was made and getting back to a better person, if they haven't changed I agree dont go back
I moved out after she wanted me to pay 3300 deposit for her and her friend to get a apartment
I was doing good for A week but I let my emotions get the better of me and I sent her like 5 texts and now got blocked on everything except Facebook so there still an opening for contact but I’m being patient now wish I would of found your videos sooner 😕
Great advice and calming voice :)
M. L,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!😍😍😍😍
As reading through comments why does it seem so easy for other people for their ex to reach out? Why does it seem so hopeless for me? Why do I have zero hope that the ex will reach out?
Exactly how I feel. Says its a year later for you - did they ever reach out?
Did your ex reach out?
All of mine reached out after months of no contact.
This is good advice. I do want my space to work on myself too.
This video really helped me. 2 weeks so far since the breakup. I did text him out of sadness one night but all I said was "hey" he didn't respond which is good for me honestly. I don't even know what I would say if he did. But I'm working on myself and I believe that if things/people are meant to be then it will be. If I'm supposed to be with him then there's no rush. If I'm meant to be with someone else in the future then fine. I don't want to waste time and emotions anymore on someone who doesn't care about me anymore. I'm fine with whatever happens in the future honestly. Of course I love him very deeply still but he dumped me and is putting me through pain so 🤷
update?
@cuscos1866 I'm fine now lol I've actually been with my current bf almost 3 years. This one is the one. No games or heartbreak.
I screwed up no contact a couple times.... Guess I'm screwed it's already 6 months..
Going through a 6 yr breakup and he left me last month.. i cried and begged him the whole month until a week ago i went into no contact. He reached out 3 times and i told him to leave me alone he dumped me why does he care if im happy and he said he is enjoying his freedom. I hung up. I hope he realizes he needs me and loves me to reach out.. i miss him so much but i have faith he will🙏🏼❤️😔
Same boat Michelle, you are not alone. This entire thing has been effecting my life going on 3 months
Malik Best Miller i know it sucks alot but were strong🙏🏼✨
update?
I wish I had found this sooner but doing no contact now.
I went no contact and my ex crawled back to her ex boyfriend. They were together for a year before me and her started dating, and we were only together for about 46 days. Can you make a video about what to do when you’re the one who is a rebound?
Just remember in the future to never be someone's rebound.
Sometimes they can work out but more often than not they don't work out.
Never get emotionally invested as a rebound.
she said one of the reasons she broke up with me cuz she said i was needy & clingy....so I'm hoping that this no contact thing will work....& my anxiety was to much for her
My ex will never come back I just know it. He told my friend he knew the relationship wouldn't be the same and he's unhappy so he just wants to move on. I hate my life
Victoria West how are you now?
Dear god, it is hitting me again so bad :( after a year, i was checking my calls in whatsap and just saw her profile pic, it hit me hard, i could not look more than 2 secs, she is not my list, but she has me on her contacts. I thought the pain were less but no:(
I have been crying all day
We can do this brother. Stay strong
Aaron Rodriguez how are you now?
My husband called it quits with me just 2days after our ceremony because, he felt really bad about our families being against our marriage. He told me he would fight for us, not let me go etc. in the beginning, but all that went out the window when he suddenly had a change of heart. It was so weird too...almost as if someone convinced him it was the right decision to get rid of me. :( He went from such a happy, loving gentleman to a distant, heartless brute.
Hope you’re doing better 10months on. That is a hideous story to read, let alone live out. How are you now?
In the end, I guess your family was right. What a twat
@@25ahn I'm much better now, thanks for asking. It was tough for months after, but it was a valuable learning lesson. I also learned to trust my gut from now on.
keep growing!! 💖
hopefully he's comeback to me
thank you coach!!
Did he ?
@@samtengyatso7176 no, not yet 😔 but Im work for my self..
Good video, very helpful 💜
This video was perrrfeectt! Thank you so much! Definitely subscribing!
My ex won't contact me because she doesn't want to get drawn back into a LDR which she feels is doomed to fail. She's stubborn, but ultimately it's to protect herself from more pain and heartbreak. Since we're in pandemic times rn, planning a visit overseas isn't exactly easy, which would be my next step. Pretty much at a loss, hating life rn. :'-)
Edit: Also, I was the one who initiated the breakup, so yeah. Biggest regret of my life.
Do you want your ex
i only made it through 28 days of no contact before sending a text. got ghosted. sent another one the next day. she said she'd reach out to me when she was ready. that was five weeks ago, and every day has been a struggle.
I think I made to much mistakes for her to even reach out for me
This is such bad advice. My ex reached out to me to wish me a Happy Birthday after 1 month of NC, and I feel like I came on too strong and blew it by "striking while the iron was hot." He got annoyed by me trying to have a conversation and I did mention the idea of us getting together because I listened to this video before he reached out. After that, he wrote me a letter and said he shouldn't have texted me on my birthday. And he said he would be open to being friends in a few months, but we could never be more than just friends. I have listened to other videos that seem to have better advice after your ex reaches out and not blowing it by being over eager. They said you should keep it casual and focus on building your connection vs. putting pressure on your ex and making them run for the hills.
I didn't respond to the letter and went back into No Contact. So I have no idea if I blew it for good or if he'll reach out to me again. I feel like I blew it. We've now been broken up for almost 2 months.
@T Mac Thank you for the comment. Made me feel better.
That’s the problem. We woke up together on Thursday morning, she said I’m cooking dinner for you tonight. Text throughout the day, I get home from work to a note.
Her stuff was gone and I was lost and confused. 3 weeks today, no contact since initial WTF.
Help
You are my only favorite coach.. love you so much!!
I'm on the 3rd day of no contact 😢....it's the 3rd time trying this, cuz the other previous times i accidentally message her on fb my finger slipped, big hands lol
great advice, that was something I needed right now. Yeah this one person I was dating a short amount of time, disrespected me and i walked out... I got blamed.. I got the chance to say sorry, but no shes a jerk. I don't need that stuff. I did end it with I was starting to love you message which I was said from feeling, but other then that I left alone. She blocked me off. I saw a message of I have to see you. I just lost it being told "my application was passed, because I disrespected her..." makes no sense to me. I told her the apology just seemed more like she was entitled. I wrote her, pushed for good things and she was just ungrateful
I did lots of post break up mistake like begging, plead and pestering her. I also proposed the friendship and stalked her, I felt bad tbh about myself. We were doing LDR for 4 years. Do you think I still have a high chance for her to come back?
Is there any way of getting your advice on my situation?
I was with my ex for 3 years. Due to circumstances it turned into a LDR but we were within 2 months of moving in together. We had discussed marriage and kids and she said she wanted to spend her life with me and how much she loved me. I admit I had jealousy issues but without going into detail here I was justified in being like that. I do admit that at times it must have been hard for her to deal with. But to walk away so easily after 3 years after everything we had been through and planned is heartbreaking. I initially begged and pleaded but she said she needed space. On our last call she admitted to getting with a married guy from work (although some people commented that maybe she just said that to push me away and make it easier). It broke me so I went into no contact after that call. Its been 90 days today and nothing. We don't have social media so I have no way of knowing how she is. Sometimes I think that maybe she is afraid of reaching out because of how she ended it and what she said so she may think I don't want to talk anymore. But i guess the reality is that she has moved on and has completely forgotten me by now.
I treated her so well. I cared for her and did so much for her. I would understand if I cheated or was violent or something but to just walk away. Makes me think did she ever love me.
I came so close to reaching out so many times but she walked away and she chose this so am I right in saying this needs to come from her. Or as a man, I should text and just see how she is? I just think she walked away from me and stamped all over my heart so needs to be her to reach out?
I am struggling so much. I don't know what to do. Think of her all the time.
Two years since these comments were posted, I've found myself in the same boat sometime last week. A breakup - and I am the dumpee. 2yrs LDR, with plans for marriage and family (discussed a few times), future adventures and escapades... Not gonna happen anymore.
Life happens; people change, and situations do change as well.
I'm not sure how things turned out for you guys. Any updates? As for myself, the only goal is to keep on focusing on me, and watch more of these videos. They're refreshing.💞Journaling and spending time with buddies/family also makes the difference.
I'm gonna be straight up honest, Agus. Don't reach out to her. Focus on other avenues for your growth and success. It can (and it will) work. Often, we forget who we are while involved/invested in someone. It's a common mistake we all make at one point or another. Begging them to come back, before or after breaking up - not a wise idea. Focus on bettering you.💯
My ex reach out on me, but I ignore her lol
You are giving me hope. But i will stay realistic, thabk you very much.
Mine reached out after a week and a half with the direct/indirect approach. I didn't feel comfortable asking them out at that point, since it was only a week and a half after and it was such an intense falling out/breakup. Now it has been 2.5 weeks since he has contacted me. Smh.
I don't think they are capable of coming back. He doesn't want me anymore because I ruin every single thing. It's all my fault.
Will i hear from her if she dumped me because of her depression? We had a good relationship and we never fought but she had not dealt with the traumas she had in her bagage before we met. I was stupid to tell her she is my best friend and that i will always be here for her. I have not broken no contact for about a month now. I still miss her but i have changed all of my bad routines, not for her but for myself
I chased her for a month, Rory. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I love you bro best video I’ve seen so far on the topic. Can’t wait to work on myself and move on with my life
great video, strong advice.