If your goal is to 'cover up who you are to make people around you feel happy,' please hear a cautionary tale. I am very good at projecting an 'alter ego' and it was fine, in public. I 'fit in' and it made everyone happy. But when one friendship blossomed, I let my guard/shields down and I became genuine. That dear person freaked out. "Who are you, really?" This permanently damaged our friendship. It harmed both of us. I regret this very much.
One of the things I've noticed over the past year or so is I've started dropping a lot of the deflective humour I'd use in social situations, and some people have been taking me more seriously, especially in the work setting.
Another thought, we don't need to change ever🤔 but rather accept and embrace our true selves. I am an unmasked stuttering, ticking, rocking back and forth while talking to people all while feeling others emotions and energy openly neuro-spicey human🤔 that is what my normal looks like and I love it, it's hard as hell but as a former heavy masker I can describe the feeling I get when all of me is content at the same time feels 100% euphoric!! That is the best description and it can be as simple as a hike on a beautiful day. Feeling all the emotion energy when at work when I greet my work friends, I work at a school mostly quiet after a while so nice trade off and get my isolation time to even out from the over stimulation of all the people but I do love it.👻🌶
Woman - I have ADHD. According to 3 Psychiatrists. That's it. So why are so many of your videos genuinely helping me? Thank you! (Also - absolutely love when you reference your sources! Love to read so it opens up so many other perspectives & life tips while simultaneously helping fully flesh out the ones you present.) (Also not looking for an autism diagnosis, not that I'd mind it. Just that my current Psychiatrist says he's very sure. Just looking for help with life stuff & you do that spectacularly. Again- Thank you!)
It could be because for somethings there is a lot of overlap. It could also be that the people evaluating you don't know how autism more typically presents is females (the DSM criteria is how autism presents in white boys). Not that long ago they believed that you couldn't have both autism and ADHD. If you wanted more clarity for yourself find one of the online lists of female traits (no one has all the traits), you can also find AQ and other screening tests for free online that would give you another starting point.
Confidence is a tough one, after 9 years in my relationship and not being happy with the dynamic of the relationship for 2 years I spoke up for myself. I need companionship and support first and foremost but I also need her to take care of her health physical and mental because the ones that suffer are her daughter and me. I sense some masking from her and her daughter is on the spectrum like me so there is a good chance she is as well. Her mom who is part of the issue at hand is a heavy masker and I sense that as well. Me having the confidence to really share me feelings and not letting her interrupt was important beyond belief and I cried harder than any other time of my life. We both have a positive goal and that is to be true to ourselves so we can be true to each other!! Hope that's not all over the place but that's me but it could be good because that's also me🤔🤭👻🌶
For me masking is hiding yourself to fit in (only doing the things that 'normal' people do), alter ego is the super confident person that you actually want to be, kind of like the fake it til you make it.
It's for when you're stuck with the mask on. When you wish you could take it off but you've been doing it for years, and may not even know who you are anymore. The alter ego is an identity-shaping tool, to help you visualize who you want to be as your genuine self.
If your goal is to 'cover up who you are to make people around you feel happy,' please hear a cautionary tale. I am very good at projecting an 'alter ego' and it was fine, in public. I 'fit in' and it made everyone happy. But when one friendship blossomed, I let my guard/shields down and I became genuine. That dear person freaked out. "Who are you, really?" This permanently damaged our friendship. It harmed both of us. I regret this very much.
One of the things I've noticed over the past year or so is I've started dropping a lot of the deflective humour I'd use in social situations, and some people have been taking me more seriously, especially in the work setting.
Another thought, we don't need to change ever🤔 but rather accept and embrace our true selves. I am an unmasked stuttering, ticking, rocking back and forth while talking to people all while feeling others emotions and energy openly neuro-spicey human🤔 that is what my normal looks like and I love it, it's hard as hell but as a former heavy masker I can describe the feeling I get when all of me is content at the same time feels 100% euphoric!! That is the best description and it can be as simple as a hike on a beautiful day. Feeling all the emotion energy when at work when I greet my work friends, I work at a school mostly quiet after a while so nice trade off and get my isolation time to even out from the over stimulation of all the people but I do love it.👻🌶
Interesting. Perhaps it is easier, st first, for us to allow "another" to be themselves versus allowing ourselves to be ourselves.
I love this idea 💡 💜
Woman - I have ADHD. According to 3 Psychiatrists. That's it.
So why are so many of your videos genuinely helping me?
Thank you!
(Also - absolutely love when you reference your sources! Love to read so it opens up so many other perspectives & life tips while simultaneously helping fully flesh out the ones you present.)
(Also not looking for an autism diagnosis, not that I'd mind it. Just that my current Psychiatrist says he's very sure. Just looking for help with life stuff & you do that spectacularly. Again- Thank you!)
It could be because for somethings there is a lot of overlap. It could also be that the people evaluating you don't know how autism more typically presents is females (the DSM criteria is how autism presents in white boys). Not that long ago they believed that you couldn't have both autism and ADHD. If you wanted more clarity for yourself find one of the online lists of female traits (no one has all the traits), you can also find AQ and other screening tests for free online that would give you another starting point.
@@amandamandamands Thanks. Will do.
Confidence is a tough one, after 9 years in my relationship and not being happy with the dynamic of the relationship for 2 years I spoke up for myself. I need companionship and support first and foremost but I also need her to take care of her health physical and mental because the ones that suffer are her daughter and me. I sense some masking from her and her daughter is on the spectrum like me so there is a good chance she is as well. Her mom who is part of the issue at hand is a heavy masker and I sense that as well. Me having the confidence to really share me feelings and not letting her interrupt was important beyond belief and I cried harder than any other time of my life. We both have a positive goal and that is to be true to ourselves so we can be true to each other!! Hope that's not all over the place but that's me but it could be good because that's also me🤔🤭👻🌶
I don’t understand how having an alter ego isn’t just the same as masking. Wouldn’t it have the same harmful effects? Unless I am misunderstanding?
I think she means use it as a transition tool without getting permanent with shifting to it. That’s how it came across for me
For me masking is hiding yourself to fit in (only doing the things that 'normal' people do), alter ego is the super confident person that you actually want to be, kind of like the fake it til you make it.
It's for when you're stuck with the mask on. When you wish you could take it off but you've been doing it for years, and may not even know who you are anymore. The alter ego is an identity-shaping tool, to help you visualize who you want to be as your genuine self.
@@Ayverie4 nicely said
That’s what I thought, too
What things in march