Making Friends as an Adult (ft. Friendship Expert) | Episode 01
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- Опубликовано: 18 фев 2024
- ↳In Episode 01, Erin interviews Danielle Bayard Jackson (aka @thefriendshipexpert ) a certified Friendship Coach and Educator (and PR expert, business owner, speaker, AND author!).
➞ In this episode:
0:30 Introduction
2:10 Rapid fire background Q&A
3:25 Why Danielle switched careers
5:11 Being the shy/mean/popular girl in high school
7:03 How Danielle got out of teaching and into coaching
12:50 Is working from home killing our friendships?
16:22 Dunbar's Number
18:00 Making friends as a remote worker (or else you'll get weird)
19:00 Harvard 100-Year Study on Happiness
20:35 What are "quality" friendships?
21:42 Introverts vs. Extroverts
23:10 Female vs. Male Friendships
29:40 How men can make more friends
31:19 The stress of picking bridesmaids & groomsmen
37:05 Types of Loneliness (+ how to get more friends)
39:30 #RealAdvice Time!
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↳ Need some help? Write to us for a chance to have your question answered (anonymously) on the show!
↳ Submission for advice: bit.ly/nokwtd
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→ Mics are Rhode 🎙️
→ Chairs are from Target 🪑
→ Table is Article 🍸 bit.ly/42HJU37
→ Plants are from Bloomscape 🪴 bit.ly/48hjC8Y
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Follow Danielle on Instagram: bit.ly/3wjQpNn
Or visit www.betterfemalefriendships.com
Danielle’s new book: bit.ly/49mS5US
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↳ AdviceWithErin Instagram → / advicewitherin
↳ NOKWTD Instagram → / nooneknows.show
↳ Submission form for advice → bit.ly/nokwtd
↳ Get my emails → advicewitherin.com/show
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🎙️ Listen on Apple → apple.co/3SNBpPu
🎙️ Listen on Spotify → spoti.fi/3I6j6Qz
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Welcome to No One Knows What They're Doing, a brand new show from Erin McGoff (aka, AdviceWithErin). Tune in as she introduces you to new people, new careers, and new ideas to inspire you to confidently design a life that makes you truly happy. In this show, Erin dives into topics that are top of mind for folks in their 20s and 30s ranging from career advice and financial literacy to relationships and self-esteem. Erin will bring on experts to give advice on questions like, "Should I move to Europe?" and "How do I negotiate my salary?" and "How do I find a work-from-home job that isn't a scam?".
Listeners can expect to hear from various guests-psychologists, authors, CEOs, filmmakers, detectives, chefs, etc. There's more to life than the Sunday Scaries, resumes, and the 9 to 5.
In this show, you'll gain access to tangible opportunities, secret advice, and proven strategies to help you craft a life you love.
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how to make friends as an adult as an introvert shy college grad intern new job friendships shy social anxiety at work corporate job coworkers better friends breakup dating bridesmaids how to pick groomsmen make guy men man friends girl friends bachelorette party networking female friendships happiness life harvard study on happiness longevity dunbars number making new friends online new city new york city los angeles how to meet new people as an adult how to make more friends in college as an adult friendship expert danielle bayard jackson advice with erin advicewitherin erin mcgoff no one knows what they're doing podcast youtube show new
![100 Days - [Minecraft Creative 2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/OmogWsk_ZZg/mqdefault.jpg)
Episode 01 is here! 🎉 thanks to @DanielleBayardJackson for our insightful conversation. ❤
Erin, I absolutely love your channel and appreciate everything you've done for the community, but I felt compelled to provide my honest feedback. I think it was a horrible idea airing this. I suspect 90% or more of your subscribers want what you have, remote work with work life balance and financial freedom. This is why many watch your channel. They want to learn from you to achieve what you have. I feel that you have turned your back on many of your loyal followers with this type of content that embraces office work. We need more people to support your historical support for remote work and work life balance. We don't need any more corporate wankers like this panelist telling us about the "benefits" of office work. The truth is that most of our coworkers rarely care about us and would move on in an instant if we left. If someone feels they need to have a strong social network at work then I feel sorry for them. They need to spend more time with people that actually love them like friends and family.
Lastly, I would have appreciated it if the panelist talked about the study confirming that employees who are sick, hospitalized, or dead tend not to be very productive. That's what's happening out there. For many working in an office is very damaging to their mental, financial, and physical health. Thanks for your consideration.
P.S. For any people that think I don't have office experience, I do. I'm a Gen X'r who has worked most of their life in an office. Late in life I made the switch to remote work and have seen great improvement in my life.
Hi Erin! Excited to give it a listen 😊 I was just wondering when is it going to be released on Spotify? Currently it's showing only the introduction and not this episode yet. Thanks!
@@clairehouston5189yay! 🎉 Spotify & Apple syndication will be a few days delayed-but this episode is on Spotify now! ❤
Building friendships as an adult is not talked about enough, as an introvert, I appreciate this
“If I don’t get social, I get weird” 😂 that is a very valid point. I started working hybrids since Covid and I do get very comfortable at home, however, it is easy to forget how extremely important being in the office in person and interacting with people outside of our team really is. Thank you so much for your video. It’s a great reminder.
I've always been weird so its circular. I treasured my friends and later figured I'm better off without them. I'm a hermit and happy.
@@SummerSun-sg3wf ''I treasured my friends and later figured I'm better off without them.'' But Danielle says that it is the number one factor for a fulfilled life.
8:01 "we're all trying to figure out how to navigate friendships" it's so comforting to hear!
I think it’s so important that you brought up the fact that not every friend needs to be a best friend. Sometimes we have such a strong desire to get closer with people, but we need our fun-time friends just as much as we need our deep-talk friends!
Having friends as an adult is pursuing what my inner child always wanted to do but was afraid of being judged, and meeting people with the same experience can be life changing
This part blew my mind - Our brains can only maintain 150 social connections, we only have the capacity for 3-5 ultra close, but we also need ALL the rings of connections such as fringe friends. - This whole part changed my mindset on friendship. 🤯💡💚💯
Would u like to expand your friend circle, genuine friend I mean
I love how she explained that it doesn't matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert, we all need quality people. Growing up, as an introvert I used to feel a bit embarrassed that I didn't know lots of people, specially compared to acquaintances who had lots of followers or followed many people. As I grew up, I would tell myself that it didn't matter because I had my handful of beautiful meaningful relationships. It was interesting to hear in the way it was formulated. The difference between extroverts and introverts is the fact that extroverts just enjoy more social time.
As a self-proclaimed introvert and homebody, I feel healthfully challenged to broaden how I approach social connections. Friendships in your early 30’s feels so hard and next to impossible, I will be more intentional this year and try to open up again. Sending love from Arizona ♥️🌵
Out of 10 how introvert are u?
@milesonhope. - I have had 1 singular Friend since I was 5, At this point we've known each other for well over 55 years. My babygirl is 40, with kids of her own and for as long as I can remember I have struggled with making friends. I am an to my core an introvert and I didn't know this for a long time, I'm an introvert WITH people skills. - I'm capable of making friends with people I believe At the beginning to be friend-able, but there's something that needs to be within them to stay friends. It's not about being picky or finding fault, for me it's about actually understanding what being a friend means and demonstrating this in action. I too have been trying to go outside of my immediate comfort zone. Do what you need to do for yourself and have your acceptance for friends be meaningful because you are like the 5 people you hang around the most. Friends influence, Let that influence be from those who have goodness for you in their hearts and minds. Just a little Granny wisdom...
@asifnawaz108 - I know you are asking OP, - for me, I'd say 20. - most people don't completely understand the difference between introvert and extrovert, and there's the 3rd which is a combination of - an extrovert feeeeeels, and needs, desires and is energized by the energy of being around others, Are fueled by being around a lot of people, large or small groups, on a regular basis, and outwardly seem to be the life of the party. introverts are more drawn to solitude because they are drained of THEIR energy being around a lot of people or in large groups. it's not just a sense of shyness. An introvert can be there for a little bit but would need a nap, or At the least a moment of peace and quiet. - for me, it's like the sensation of trying to keep standing and moving forward through an intense wind storm, it can feel very much like a steamroller just ran over me. there's days where even the slightest sound is enough to do Me in. I don't do well when there's a lot of ongoing loudness - day's where there's a lot of emergency vehicles, or a greater than normal of people activities going by - such as extra traffic - conventions or giant rewards ceremony's. - there's also the common misconception that an introvert doesn't want to be social, we do, we want the opportunity to be, we want the option to be, the invite to and for to be, and we need the ability At the moment to say no. I hope this helps your understanding and answers your questions. 🤗💜
I like that your content is focussed not only on carreer advice but also in wellness. It is a good reminder that we are human and need human connection. Thank you.
Saving this to listen to again. I just moved to a new city and also work independently and KNOW that my sudden lack of circles is affecting my mental health. Thank you both so much!
I love that Danielle was a teacher (like me!) but her career didn’t stop there! Gives me hope for other career possibilities. ❤
I loved the "I Am" statements to recognize where you might be missing community. There are so many parts of ourselves that deserve to be seen and validated and cared for. Thank you for the amazing advice!
Wow, that's extremely useful, thank you!
I'm 31 years old and just lately realized that I suffer of not having meaningful relationships with other people. I became a part of a club. That's increased significantly the level of my satisfaction with my life and with what I'm doing. Thank you again for having this episode!
The advice for what I identify as and figuring out where relationally I'm lacking in those areas is completely changing my perspective on how to tackle this loneliness problem. Also the advice for how to support men in my life looking for friendships, was very enlightening. Loved this episode and I'm excited for more!
The point about the different circles of friendships is so important. Imagine telling your colleague at the coffee machine every little detail about your life and listen about theirs. My brain would be soup before the first meeting. But that quick chat about favourite coffee brewing techniques really lightens both our moods and helps me through my day
This was sooo good! It felt like watching 2 good friends have a talk. Danielle is such a good person for this, I feel like she has ability to make everyone feel comfortable when talking to her
Erin, your content is so genuine and wholesome. Excited for this new series
This episode is perfect. I relate to this in so many levels, being the first one in the family to go to college, working full time while coming to school, moving to the US at the age of 13 loosing all my childhood friends and moving to a new place with barely any family. I was also the first one in my(initiate) family to get married, get out of our culture and marrying an American. Having limited friends to have in my wedding party. The world around you influences you in so many ways to do things that are not you. I loved this episode. Thank you.
I love how you brought up friendship hierarchy. I’ve personally seen so many changes over time. Truths, lies, people leaving, people entering. It can hurt, but it can also make you a stronger person.
I agree so much with the study that the quality of your social network is the best prerequisite for having a healthy and happy life. Great first episode Erin!
Erin, you are becoming everyone’s favorite teacher/sister/auntie who is guiding us in life. Girl, I am obsessed with you and am a super fan really. You have made some remarks that makes so much sense especially about the personal agendas and so on in friendships. Besides all that, you helped me a lot by just telling tips online about career adventures.
You have such a likable personality and a voice tone that gets people to listen that it is a talent really! Much loves! ♡
Omg, love both of these creators. They help me feel more confident as a new adult. Can’t wait for more!
I desperately needed this. You could not have chosen a better topic for your first video of the series Erin! Ever since the start of covid when my schooling when all online and all my college friends moved away, I've basically been living like a hermit. It's so hard for me to make plans with anyone but my husband and I literally have no ways to meet people. This video gave me lots to think about and is a good first step to helping myself become the social person I used to be.
Hello Erin! I thought this video was super insightful. One quote that really stuck with me was "For anybody who is feeling discouraged because they don't understand how where they are now is connected to where they are supposed to be, I felt like that so many times." I think it is very easy to get discouraged from setbacks, and I have experienced this in my own life. I have been following your platforms for about a year, and I would love to have the opportunity to talk with you. You have given me some pretty great advice, and although I am simply starting my career, I believe there are many things I can learn from you.
Hearing everything you both say makes me appreciate my friends even more! I’m so lucky to have such supportive, communicative, and loving friends and I feel really proud of having such a relationship with them❤
Thank you so much for opening this new series Erin! Keep rocking!
Hi Erin! After moving states and changing jobs a couple times since being out of college, I've struggled with the direction of my career and my relationships inside and outside of it. Your videos are always so helpful, wholesome, and educational. I really appreciate what you do and seeing you out here making a difference!
Congratulations on Episode 1! What a dynamic frist guest. Thank you for shaing Danielle and her insights with us!
Great that you mention we need more connections. I like to help/talk to people in shops, even if it seems insignificant, it might make someone's day or just smile, doesn't matter. Every little help, costs nothing :)
I loved this interview - it was a little longer than what I normally watch on RUclips and I was really glad I stuck with it and watched the whole thing! Lots of great information! I'm looking forward to future episodes 😁
I loveee this episode! I moved to another country 6 years ago and making friends has been a complicated matter, so I loveeee tearing down the concept of "It is a bestie or nothing" because we do have the opportunity to have friends that come and go, and not just because their are not our new BESTIES and that they might not be present for the long haul, that does not mean they can't be our friends. This really was a topic I needed today! Thanks!! :D
Thank you so much for this episode ❤ It's so true, that different friendships give value to different aspects of your own personality, and not every friend has to be a best friend. Erin, everything you touch turns to gold! You have a new subscriber and I can't wait for the next episode. You've got this!
Absolutely loved this video! Erin, you are such an inspiration. Thank you for being such a supportive friend on everyone’s journey to happiness and fulfillment.❤
So happy to see this new material coming out! I can tell from the first seconds this is just what so many people need 💯 Will make sure to follow every episode 🌟
I’ve been WAITING for this Erin!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻
Wow. This was such an informative and comforting session! I'm so excited for upcoming episodes Erin❤
This is such a valuable topic and I loved how chill and authentic the conversation feels!
What an AWESOME first episode! Excited about the great advice shared through interesting conversation :)
Two of my favorites together! Thank you, Erin and Danielle, for a fantastic podcast! Very useful and relevant first episode 👏
Thank you for a great episode! I appreciate your levity and authenticity! 💕
Loved the point of being in a society now where so many people are working from home, and how to navigate making new friends considering that. Quality of friendships/social network is so important. Keep doing what you're doing Erin!!
It’s so great that you talk about a honestly pretty unknown yet important topic.
This is the kind of show I didn't know I needed!! 🤩🤩
Keep going strong, Erin! Looking forward to more of such wholesome conversations and episodes! ❤️🌸
Mind blowing 🤯 Thanks Erin and Danielle for this episode, not so many people are talking about this but I'm sure more people than we think (including myself) are going through different relationships situations that we don't know how to navigate, whether we have these connections or don’t even know how to build them. I definitely needed to hear more about this!
On one hand, I love that you started off with a bang but on the other hand I’m like, Ms. Erin, how is this even fair to episodes 2, 3, 4, etc?! 🤣 absolutely loved seeing you and the topic is SO relatable and helpful ♥️ thx so much for doing this! Can’t wait to see more!
This is so comforting to hear, I've always felt slightly weird that I find it super hard developing friendships as an adult! Brilliant discussion 👏
That’s such an inspiring interview, definitely saving it to rewatch later!
So informative and entertaining, the time flew while watching it, looking forward to upcoming episodes! Thank you for this!
The first episode is awesomeee! Can't wait until the next one! 🍀
Congrats Erin! Wonderful format, questions, flow of conversation, and absolutely awesome first guest. Can't wait to see more episodes on different topics!!
So excited to see you taking on this new project! Looking forward to watching episodes as they roll out!
This interview was amazing! Eagerly awaiting future episodes!
What a powerful first episode. Thank you so much for this. I've been struggling with friendships in my 30s since moving to a new state. I'm not gonna lie, I cried while listening to this for how much I needed this support. Thank you ❤❤ thank you so much. I would love to be friends with you both ❤️
You guys reminded me of something I learned in a sociology class at university. The variation / extension on the phrase “ It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” I was taught “it’s not who you know, it’s who knows you” when you need help with something and you can kind of start having everyone who put some feelers out and keep an eye out, and then they can refer you or just be a connection for you to help accomplish your goal. I’ve never heard it since, so I’m glad other folks know this and are taking about it!
I have struggled with maintaining genuine friendships in my teens and twenties - I know that connections come and go but sometimes it's so awkward and hurtful to let friendships go, even if they bring more frustration than enjoyment. Thanks for creating this episode ❤
This is amazing information and perspectives. I love watching your reels and this took it to a whole other level. I can't wait for the next episode!
Omg I totally needed this! Since graduating college making new friends has been so difficult. Love your stuff Erin!
Thanks for all your work Erin ❤ it scares me that being happy or not is the quality of your social network because it’s so much work to achieve a good and healthy one, especially with people living in big cities, this video is super helpful.
I think it's very helpful that you included that not all friends we need to be close to! Every friendship is very important and helpful no matter how close we are to each other ❤
I really appreciated the portion about teachers - Danielle alluding to the dilemmas she faced on her journey as a teacher, and also, you denoting the reality of regarding teachers needing to be paid and provided for appropriately. I am cognizant of this myself, but it was significant for the show to highlight this because it sheds light on the real-life struggles faced by educators.
So good and important topic! Wonderful first episode, looking already the second one! :)
Erin, thank you for everything you do! It is highly appreciated ❤
Love this episode! I learned sm while being entertained…congrats on the launch of the new show!!! 🎉
I relate 100% this is so resourceful! Thanks again Erin! I’m getting a lot of help watching your videos.
Quality of any relationship is sooo important whether it's family or significant other. For friendship, it's so tricky because unlike family or significant other, you either really know your friends deeply or on surface level/acquaintance status. I truly believe that the quality of friendship can determine whether person is happy or not since it takes both side to reach out and genuinely get to know each other. Which is hard to do nowadays but kudos to people who really are putting themselves out there.
Thank you so much Erin for this new series, love it!
This was a great watch. And focused on something I’ve been grappling with as a mom and career focused person. Friends! We all need them.
So nice to see you and Danielle talk about such an important topic, especially for the post-pandemic world. Great information, good vibes and lovely format, congratulations!
A great topic for the first episode already! I’m looking forward to the rest of the episodes.
This was so eye opening - looking forward to the more episodes ❤️ You got this!
Looking forward to more of this series! Great first ep and first guest 😊
Congrats with your first episode!!!🎉🤍⛳️ Rock it ⚔️🤩
Absolutely love it! And I was so intrigued about the podcast - I am also big on idea that your social network contributes a lot to your success and happiness in life! Thank you Erin for your wonderful work and I am excited to see where you go with podcasts! So far amazing format ❤
I’ve been loving your content ever since I first came across it! As someone who is currently on the job hunt, your advice has really been useful and I just want to say thank you for doing this! ❤
ok, I have to say I was waiting a looongg time to somebody came with an episode like this, love it!!
Congrats Erin on your 1st episode!❤🎉 Looking forward to the next ones 🙌
So excited for your new show! It’s especially helpful for the situation and career transition I am currently experiencing as well as the accompanying social challenges that this brings, in addition to still being a relatively fresh graduate and adult in a new city. Thanks!
Love everything, everything, everything about this and this series and Erin!
Hi Erin! This was really helpful. So excited for future episodes :)
Excellent video, and I'm glad that you discussed the letter that was submitted. Danielle is so great. Thanks so much for your great content!
Love it! So great episode, I’m waiting for more with the notebook full of notes ❤
I loved this! Can’t wait for more episodes!!
Hi Erin ❤️❤️ thanks a million for introducing Danielle 😍😍 loved the episode. Been connecting with friends virtually. As a language learner, this is how I make friends
This is such a great episode! I am currently learning the lesson of tapping into my community and expressing my need(s). I have been surprised and in awe of all the connections I've made so far and opportunities ♥
What a wonderful conversation to listen to and learn from! ❤
Saving it for posterity and will definitely keep coming back to it!
Congratulations on your 1st episode 💖It is so true - when school is finished and you move away, even abroad - you have a need to make new connections, but it is difficult sometimes. I think that social apps do work as well as social events advertised online these days. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Danielle and Erin
Such a thought-provoking conversation! I love the activity of identifying who you are are finding your action steps from there, regarding the type of people you need in your life to support those aspects of who you are and who they are.
Thank you for opening up about such an important topic! I've personally struggled with this as someone who moved abroad. It helps to know we're not alone and we all seek connection :)
I’ve appreciated your content and advice so much recently Erin. From creating a folder of work compliments and taking Coursera courses, access to your tips and support has been such a helpful resource in teaching myself how to take the next big scary steps of adulthood. Congrats on the show :)
Great work Erin! Really interesting topic for the first episode, I’m looking forward to the next one!!
Thank you for bringing this topic up for us! Congrats on the show!
Loved learning about this topic and hearing Danielle’s perspective on it! Making quality connections as an adult is something I’m really trying to work on this year and through meeting people, I’ve learnt that so many of us are in the same boat and are chasing good friendships! Glad this topic is being discussed so much more recently!
Thank you Erin for starting this new series of Videos!
I appreciated everything that you and Danielle talked about, but especially work friendships. Even though I worked remotely, I was still able to build close relationships with a few coworkers that have lasted beyond my time at the company. We continue to support each other through changes we go through even though we were initially bonded by all the 💩 we were going through in the job. I also can relate when Danielle talked about men going to their spouses for talking through what they’re going through. I’m definitely my husband’s go-to person.
This episode was SOOOO good and I’m so excited for more!!! 🫶🥹
Much needed. Thank you for this content! It's so difficult finding a balance between work, family, and friends as a young adult.
Thank you for the advise Erin! Loved the episode!
Erin, I love your content - no matter what topic! This was a great episode!
This entire discussion is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Especially with shifting careers and making friends as an adult. I'm moving soon and this has been on my mind a lot. Thank you for talking about these topics! ❤