The Best Advice You've Ever Gotten / Gaby & Allison
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- Опубликовано: 8 апр 2018
- Bread goes stale real quick!
Shot by the redheaded Dough Frerichs
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It doesn't have to be good, It just has to be DUNN
Emily Rose// Noice
I would say the best advice I’ve gotten is this: it’s not you vs your partner on a problem, it’s you & your partner vs the problem. It has changed the way our disagreements happen now
This is great! Thanks for sharing
My boyfriend says this all the time! It definitely helps
Sharon Thank you so much for sharing this!
SAME. You can’t work things out with your partner if you’re looking at them as the enemy and placing blame instead of working through the actual problem
The best advice I’ve gotten is a phrase my mom came up with: “don’t compare your insides to everyone else’s outsides”
So like if you’re freaking out and someone else seems totally fine you can’t be sure that they’re not freaking out and insecure inside - don’t compare yourself to the image they put out to the world
I adore this advice to bits! :) It's so easy to get lost in the idea that what someone presents into the world is exactly who they are when they're is a whole, complex human with their own struggles just beneath the surface where we can't see.
Wow. Who knew there would be life changing advice in the comments section?!
That is excellent advice, especially in this social media dominated age. My little sister is at University & said she think she makes friends with all the weirdos with problems & I told her that literally everyone is a wierdo with problems! Since she is becoming friends they are just being more open & honest & not hiding it.
Yes! I've heard this as: don't compare your unedited footage to someone else's highlight reel 😊 I remind myself of this often when I find myself comparing. So freeing 😊
My advice: For the past two months I’ve started thinking of my depressive episodes like I would a bad cold or a fever. I try to get through as best I can, but I don’t place really high expectations on myself during these periods because you can’t help getting sick.
Me too ! This is super recent for me and it's working wonders to not be so hard on myself and know that just like a cold, it's going to be over soon.
ThePickleUpYourNose Definitely! Eliminating the whole “I should be doing better, why can’t I do this” thing makes getting better a lot easier/faster in my opinion.
I never thought of my depressive episodes like that before, i think that might help! Thanks for sharing 😊
Megan Bruce Thanks, I hope it helps! (Honestly I was not expecting more than a couple people to read my comment lol)
Sarah Marlow haha well it’s great advice 😃
My mom’s advice, “You can ask any question you like as long as you can take a “no” gracefully.”
My dad’s advice, “Think before you speak. Once you say it, you can never take it back.”
My stepfather’s advice, “If you really like it, buy it or do it. You don’t want to look back and wish you had.”
Peacefulmary1 I wish I’d heard your mom’s advice much younger.
Sugar's name should have been Mercury since she's the only dog that is liquid at room temperature
Ilznidiotic HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Permission to use your suggestion for my next cat? :D
"sometimes you think you're mad but you're just hungry." wow that actually explained a lot
I definitely thought you guys lived together
HOLY CRAP AMY. -G
Hi Amy
Just because you collab with your roommate doesn't mean everyone else does. ;-)
Just Between Us collab with amy. The gays will flock to jbu.
When I found out they were lying to the masses I cried 😂😂😂
Rebecca Treviño im pretty sure the gays are already here because of Gaby 😂
i love that gaby has this lavish chair and allison is on a little metal chair with sugar almost falling off her leg lol
I know. Literally the whole video I was thinking about the very real possibility of Sugar falling off Allison's leg.
Seriously!! They r weirdos 😂
Do a podcast together and upload it to youtube. Just an unedited hour. These things a great, I wish they were longer. You're both such interesting people. Bad with money was the best, I'm so excited it's coming back!
Ruvarashe Marikano Bad with money has a new season this month. And it already has an extra episode up, go look for it!
Ruvarashe Marikano YESSS
I LOVED BAD WITH MONEY!
It really got me thinking about money in the future and how I view savings. Like I still have at most $100 in savings, but I know I'm suppose to have more!
Didn't know about season 2. Looking forward to it!
Rita season 3 actually
Is season 2 on Spotify? Will season 3 be on Spotify? I'll look it up! Thanks!
Best advice I've ever gotten: GO TO THERAPY. Oh my great goodness how did it take me so long to do so?!
ReadyMadeBouquet related: reminders that I can change therapists, and that not every therapist is going to work for me
Ya, if only i'd done that when therapy was still available.
Same
Sometimes you know what you have to do but still can't.
I'm not sure if this is good advice for everyone, but it actually really helps when I'm going through a depressive episode: don't strive to be happy in life, strive to be content with moments of great joy.
When the idea of even getting out of bed is hard, just pushing towards the contentment of knowing you ate food and paid your bills or took a shower always seems a lot more possible than trying to push myself to the extreme of happiness.
bahogan92 I think this is really great advice.
*Thank you :) today was just one of those days... and you made it better :)*
Absolutely this! Every single thing you manage to do deserves to be seen and felt as a success. :) Thank you for sharing your experience!
M"ake achievable goals" & "appreciate the small things"go along nicely with this.
'Sometimes I'm just like, driving around thinking... is this enlightenment?'
Can we have a JBU out of context quotes forum please xD xD
"It depends, right? So I've thought about this a lot just 'cause there's so many hours in the day and I have to think of something."
wendat kanata this isn't what I asked for...
"Stop trying to be happy and spend your time doing more interesting things" has made me like life.
MotorGoblin that's genuine a really good advice, thanks for sharing it man. I will put it in practice.
MotorGoblin then again “stop trying to be interesting and spend your time doing happy things” has its place.
If you’re forcing yourself to go out and do things you’re not genuinely interested in for the sake of being or appearing more *interesting* and you’d actually be *happier* staying in, then stay in:)
in time Agreed, but if you are not interested in doing something, then you are not and you should do something else (I don't want to tell people what to do, just referring to the advice btw). Staying in can be very interesting. The point is to change the criteria of things worth doing from "this makes me happy" to "hmm... that's interesting". I think that hedonism is kind of ironic since it causes many people to live in a constant crisis where they basically torture themselves with the pressure of being happy.
Allison, as someone who does not actually know you and will probably never meet you, you do seem more... emotionally healthy. Like someone who has been through things, and who now, as an adult can look back with more knowledge and perspective and experience. I feel I've finally got there in my life - having dealt with bs enough and made it through, that now even when similar stuff happens to me now I both handle it better and feel better when going through it. TL;DR - Allision you rock.
I was walking through an orchard once and I noticed that there were loads of tiny apples that had fallen out of trees. A dude working there off handedly mentioned environmental reasons but mainly how the tree knows not to carry more than it can and that’s a good thing! This always helps when I’m anxious trying to manage everything in life.
R X oooh i like this metaphor. Thanks I'll remember this
R X This is lovely. Also different trees can handle a different number of apple's but you shouldn't compare just focus on your own personal growth.
Sammy Ariel didn’t even think about that! It’s very truee, thank you ❤️
I can't stop looking at gaby in this video ugh. And I'm so happy for Alison. I can see that she's genuinely happy.
Best advise from a friend: "Your feelings are real, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're true." I don't remember the context of that quote, but it helped me realize that my feelings matter, but they're not always reliable when figuring out the truth. (For example, if you're anxious that someone is irritated with you, it's important to address the negative feeling instead of pushing it away, but it also doesn't necessarily mean the person is actually irritated with you. And if you really want to know, just ask.)
While "only compare yourself to past versions of you" is often great advice, it has gotten me in trouble before. When I was really struggling with chronic and mental illness, I was comparing myself (and my level of productivity/accomplishment) to my past self, who was much healthier. I had to let go of past me (who was "better") and accept the new ("worse") me who cannot do what past me did. Having said that, new me is better than past me in other ways. Gotta use some new metrics of success!
me: lets 1 minute video play to support my girls
"I have no idea what advice is" Alison says on the advice show she has had for years now
Bread ownership: it's just too much work.
So sad you guys dont live together anymore
Di Ibrahim they have never lived together tho
TRASH TM I think he was joking.
I have never seen Sugar more affectionate than in this video.
The best advice I've heard is "Ignore the background noise". When I was depressed in highschool and had trouble going to school, I was really worried about my classmates talking about me and what my teachers thought of me. But one of my teachers told me to ignore the background noise and to just do what is good for me. I love this phrase and I always write it down in my notes or memos as a little pickmeup.
One question I really like to ask myself in hard times is,
"What would someone who loves themselves do?"
Ask yourself this when comes to anything from should you quit your job or not to whether you should have cereal or a bagel for breakfast.
Times doesn't heal all wounds but it does make the scars less noticeble.
Radio Nowhere sometimes time worsen things, like u get old u get Alzheimer's, u go crazy, u cut urself, sometimes u commit suicide. It's not time alone that heals it appears that way coz during the passage of the time u took urself out of the awful situations or other good things happened to u that healed u. That u worked to help urself n got busy with things that helped u heal n made u happier. It u let it just on time n never do anything to help or doesn't find anything u might dwell in the pain n finally get sick by the pass of time, u might feel so sick n sad that u might kill urself or die of it. So don't wholly depend on time but be ver aware that u r making ur way out of whatever is causing the pain. Make sure the voids r getting filled.
Gaby's Jacket, glasses and phone case coordinating is life.
Hey I know you will never see this but if you do, just know that you have changed my life. I know it’s so sappy but really you have. I discovered just between us when I was struggling badly with my anxiety and sexuality. Although I am a bit better now I don’t know if I could have gotten through probably the hardest year of my life without you. When I had a panic attack I would literally just watch hours of skits and “International Question” videos. I thank you more then you could ever know.
omg wow!!! This was so sweet.
Just Between Us oh my god I can’t believe you saw this. Just know that it is completely true and I love you both so much
It made me so happy when Allison said she felt her mind is so much better now
I call it "the industry business".
alternatively, showdustry
Showed us tree
Yaaas to Allison regarding letting feelings pass through you. I've started doing this when I'm sad recently, and instead of sinking into depression I have just been sad for a couple of days. The worst thing to tell yourself when you're sad is that you shouldn't be sad. Also, advice I've learned from watching this show is to demand how you want to be treated. Say "no", ask people not to talk to you in ways you feel uncomfortable, ask people to do favors for you, don't take ownership of others' problems, and enforce boundaries. These things have changed my life.
"You never know what someone is going through, always be kind" is one of my favorite quotes that I try to live by. I remember times where I was struggling inside but you couldn't tell physically. And that just makes me think that someone else could be going through something you can't see or don't know about.
The best piece of advice (or at least that absolutely changed my life), was: "you can't control other people's reactions to you. They won't always like you and that's ok". From the therapist I was seeing for my social anxiety. I don't know if it was because it was him, or the moment he said it or how he said it but it was the first moment in my life it really sunk in and absorbed it. I used to control my behaviour to match the people I was with, almost subconsciously, and I was mentally exhausted, so much there where days I couldn't get up my bed, I just didn't feel strong enough to face people.
That phrase changed my behaviour and my life.
you have no idea how relevant and important "one person cannot be your everything" is to me at this very moment. Been dealing with some intense anxiety and depression issues, and I realized I've been pushing 'my person' away because they're afraid of damaging me further. I'm realizing I can't dump everything on one person because they have their own struggles and life, and they can't always put me first.
Wait, Gaby and Allison NEVER lived together?? *world falls apart*
I feel like both of you have progressively started dressing more like cool young moms (Allison is the PTA mom and Gaby is the gay mom) and generally being more obviously almost-30 and I kind of love it.
Srishti C why is that "young mom"? It's just late 20s 😛
Best Advice I've ever gotten: Don't lend anyone money unless you're alright with the fact you might not get it back. And I mean really alright with it.
I broke this rule once in my entire life, against my better judgement and it was an absolute disaster. It just reinforced it all the more to me.
where is the poll for me to choose the obvious 3rd option of "the biz"?
I've been living with a chronic, debilitating physical illness since I was 16 (I'm 21 now) and the most impactful piece of advice I've come across has been "some things in life cannot be fixed, they can only be carried". cause I spent a lot of time and energy and emotion on wanting to be fixed and trying to be fixed, and recognizing that maybe I will always be this way and maybe I can carry on anyways was so powerful for me.
Wow, what a great phrase! Hope you are carrying on well lately
I have been going through some really hard times and seeing these videos makes me so happy. Love you guys so much 😙
Show biz is better because it is specific. The industry can mean all sorts of things. ALLISON, GABY KNOWS WHAT A DICTIONARY IS.
exactly. i'm in the industry but that industry is education.
i have to say, Allison looks and acts so much happier about herself and her state of body/mind. it makes me so happy to be watching your videos!
I really love this episode and the tidbits of advice you're sharing. Even just to reiterate some of those things that we may consciously know (or maybe some people haven't yet learned to integrate...) - it doesn't have to be perfect, don't expect one person to be able to fill every role in your life, acknowledge feelings even if you don't allow them to control you, etc. - is really helpful to be reminded of. So. Thank you both for this video! :)
gaby having fun gator facts is just fulfilling the florida trope even more
i love it
welp
y'all are the only people who make funny, insightful, and thought-provoking content 10 times out of 10. i love that
I'm someone who has only recently discovered this channel and I've been binge watching you for the last month. I can definitely see the ways both of you have changed over the course of your 20's, how you've grounded down into yourselves. Allison, you are just glowing with confidence in a way that the person you were three and four years ago didn't. Maybe I'm only seeing them filtered thru watching your videos so close together, but I don't think so. I look forward to following you both in your careers!
Gaby‘s first advice about how getting something done is better than getting it perfect was a university saver. Hardly did not finish any of the papers I had to write, bringing me into a spiral of panic attacks and constant nervousness. Remembered that, finished it and hopefully will be finishing this winter. THIS was SO important! Thanks!
Allison I'm really proud of you bc I've been subscribed for maybe a year and a half but even in that time I'm able to see clearly how much you've grown as a creator and as a person and the way you deal with mental health issues it's really great!
Best advice I've ever gotten: Don't be who you think the people in your life want you to be. Be who you want you to be. Because, ultimately, you're the only person who's going to have to live with you for your entire life.
i watch at least one video of yours a day because listening to both of you makes me very happy.
I love this series so much!! It just feels like hanging with pals
This really helped me take my mind off things that have bothered me for years - all the things y’all said made so much sense - thank you this really helped me out ❤️
I call it show business and sometimes (but mostly show business) industry. Love you 💖Allison and Gaby❤️ keep up the great work!
“Let people be wrong about you.” Man that is the BEST advice. It frees up so much time!
I love that you guys end almost every video laughing or smiling :)
I love emotionally stable Allison and financially stable Gaby. I'm so proud of both of you, and watching your videos makes me truly happy ❤️❤️
man this channel is just so great! i feel like ive really seen you guys grow more as creators and it makes me reflect on my own progress and opinions too in a constructive way, and it's boosted my general happiness levels. it's really nice :) thanks guys
awwwww thanks
ALLISON! GABBY! I love this show and have been watching and watched every episode. And I love both of you!!! Allison urgently needs that self-help book deal. please keep these 7.8 or 9.whatever versions of the show coming !!! 💚
i have a really hard time getting through videos that are more than like three minutes without getting distracted or changing it but the recent gaby and allision series has been so good and informative that i straight up don't even like mouse over it. please never stop this version. it's so helpful! thanks guys :)
Thanks so much for sticking with JBU for as long as you guys have so far. I love watching the videos. Much love.
AWWWWW
I really enjoyed this video. Thank you for making it, perfect timing.
Yay bad with money is back! I seriously learn so much from that podcast. Love it
Listen, this video is three years old. But "it doesn't have to be good, it just has to be done" has carried me through my collegiate and early professional career
I'm so proud of you two...you are almost coming across as grown up. Keep at it, guys. Won't be long now.
The best advice I every got was from my previous boss. “No one will EVER advocate for you. You HAVE to advocate for yourself.”
And it’s so true! If you want something in life you have to fight for it! It’s not just going to come to you. You have to fight for everything you want.
There is nothing better than getting this notification in my subscription box! Keep up the amazing work!
I love the darker hair Gaby
Just discovered you on some other RUclips channels a few days ago and was elated, consumed all their content like a rabid dog then I was depressed because I wanted more. Found this channel and was like super happy catching up on content whilst I should’ve been working at my job lol. You guys produced some really funny stuff and the other stuff is good too in a less funny but still good way. I like it. Thanks.
The best advice I’ve ever received was when I was going through a break up. I was talking to my friend about how I didn’t want to go to a certain place because it brought back memories and she said ‘you just have to create new and happier memories there’ and it hit me so hard.
This shows transformation into heartfelt advice has really helped. Thanks! ❤ (also, I miss the skits)
I've come back to this three times in a week... I will never not need this
My dad always told me: If you try to make everybody happy, you make nobody happy. For all the people pleasers in the world, this was one of the best things I’ve ever heard.
every monday as soon as i get home from school i remember “omg! new jbu episode today” and my day gets so much better
So excited for Gaby's podcast coming back!!!
The way Allison holds her glass gives me life.
I hope you guys get to 1 million soon!
imma be real, ur videos help me calm down and just have a good time when im freaking out like, if u ever stopped making videos i'd be genuinely sad and lowkey in trouble lol
"a lot of times you think you're mad and you're just hungry" amen
I was going through a tough time my senior year of high school right when we were reading Homer in my Classics class, and two quotes really stuck with me:
“Even the bravest cannot fight beyond his strength.”
“Be still my heart; thou hast known worse than this.”
allison your brand is incredible and it's been great to watch your worldview grow and change. mine has changed alongside yours!
xoxo, from your hometown Manhattan
I want to hit Allison's level of nirvana. Also LMAO "sometimes you think you're mad but you're just hungry" is the truest thing ever
My dad told me this growing up and I didn't understand it until I was older: No matter what decision you make, just be sure you can look yourself in the mirror the next day.
You guys are like my role models. Thank you for this video 😃❤
"If you rub a gator on its stomach, it'll fall asleep" is the most aggressively Floridian sentence I've ever heard
Advice I was given by my high school Home Ec teacher - "you're not responsible from where/the family you came from, but you are responsible for your future/the family you create". Has always stuck with me.
‘It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be done.’ That’s real good advice and I really need to hold on to that.
Mine is kinda advice to myself:
"If you know something works, actually do it"
For example, I know that when I'm feeling bad it makes me feel better to clean my room, do excersize, go outside or write something but it can be hard to convince myself to actually do any of that. Listen to Shia LaBeouf, me! Just do it!
Carys Nevard oo
YES I'M SO READY FOR THE MONEY PODCAST TO COME BACK!!
"Early is on time and on time is late."
i hope the jbu sign doesn't get destroyed during said renovation. that sign has been more consistent than my father
I love this video and this advice was really helpful.
See? This is why belief is broken. I believed Allison and Gaby once lived together but moved apart. Now my entire worldview is completely turned upside down because I wake up one day and this belief I've always assumed to be just as much a certainty as gravity or chocolate has turned out to be a lie. A LIE I tell you! Next thing you'll tell me Gaby was never poly-amorous! Or that Sugar is secretly a kitten! How can one cope with reality if one's perception of it keeps changing? Sometimes several times a day! ?
"Just repeat to yourself it's just a show you should really just relax." MST3K
This was kind of said by Allison, but honestly the best thing I’ve learned recently is that sadness isn’t always something that needs to be fixed. Sometimes you have to just feel the way you feel until it goes away on its own. Obviously don’t become complacent, and make an effort to be learning from what you’re feeling, but don’t feel like if you aren’t just plain happy that you’re doing something wrong. It might sound obvious to some but I was so afraid of feeling any pain for so long that I avoided change and often was dissociated.
What Allison said about not being able to get everything you want from one person is essentially the case for Polyamory/Non-Monogamy/Open relationships. Many monogamous relationships are strained by putting too much pressure on the other person to give you everything, which is not realistic. This is why people have friends, and by that same token, could also have other deeper relationships or lovers. Each relationship seeks its own level, which doesn't detract from the intimacy of other relationships.
QUEENDOM If someone feels they don't need anyone but themselves to be fulfilled that's great, more power to them. Any healthy relationship is built on the fact that each person involved gets something from the other. No one is used. Or, if you like, it's a mutual using of each other. But that's unnecessary negative framing for how most humans interact.
I'm cracking up at Sugar gently draped over Allison's knees like a doily on a coffee table
Really digging the new Alison. You go girl!
I like how gay (or bi) Gaby is sitting.
Weird how some ppl in here see Gaby's sitting style as a gay or bi thing. I took is more as an IDGAF thing, which feels just very her.
How is Sugar so chill and cool n just sits there on Alison's lap ? If it were my dog it would have ran away immediately.
My friend and I were just talking about how as we've gotten older we've gotten better at processing emotion. We're still emotional but things that would have devastated us when we were younger are much less impacting now. We can take it and learn from it and let it go instead of suffering. But there's this culture that you should try never to be unhappy. It's not healthy to deny pain, you just don't want to wallow in it.