The Hard Reality of Marrying into a Greek Family: Life with In-Laws
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- 🧿In this video, I share the realities of marrying into a Greek family and the unique challenges that come with living close to in-laws. From setting boundaries to embracing cultural differences, I discuss how my relationship with my wife’s parents has evolved over the years. Join me as I reflect on the ups and downs of maintaining a healthy family dynamic while navigating life in Greece, and the importance of love, respect, and distance in keeping our relationships strong.
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I'm Daniel, a British/Venezuelan composer who traded London for the sun-drenched shores of Greece back in 2010. Join me as I share the ins and outs of my life from beautiful Nafplio.
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I am also fortunate and blessed that my Greek in laws accepted me from the start. They never made me feel like a xenos (foreigner) even though I am American. We live in the states but come every year to Greece to visit for several weeks. It can be difficult for me as an American not being used to everyone being on top of us all the time. But the rewards are great including they have told me several times that I am more Greek than they are because I have tried hard to adopt the culture including converting to Orthodox Christian.
My Greek mother in law was a wonderful person. We had our arguments some times but she always treated me as a daughter. I was lucky to have met her!
The Greeks are STILL ALL ABOUT FAMILY....Unlike most Anglo families which are generally NOT UNITED...Sad but TRUE...😊
Nice too see you are happy in Greece , as an Greek Australian l am moving back to Greece too.
My grandfathers died when I was very young and I don't remember much about them, but my beloved grandmother lived long enough for me to love her very deeply. She was a holy woman and helped her children in their work, but also the neighbors who were in need. I have not cried more at a funeral, even though I have lost several dear friends and both of my parents. For your children, it will be an eternal sweet memory (and now with the videos), which they will want to give to their own children. For the Greek family, grandparents are the basis for children's health and are balanced by their kindness, the ...strictness of the parents.
Οι παπούδες μου πέθαναν όταν ήμουν πολύ μικρός και δεν θυμάμαι πολλά από αυτούς, αλλά η γιαγιά μου η λατρεμένη έζησε αρκετά και μπόρεσα να την αγαπήσω πολύ βαθειά. Ήταν μια άγια γυναίκα και βοηθούσε τα παιδιά της στις δουλειές τους, αλλά και τους γείτονες που είχαν ανάγκη. Δεν έχω κλάψει περισσότερο σε κηδεία, παρότι έχω χάσει αρκετους αγαπημένους φίλους και τους δύο γονείς μου. Για τα παιδιά σου θα ειναι μιά παντοτινή γλυκιά ανάμνηση (και τώρα με τα βίντεο), την οποία θα θελήσουν να δώσουν και στα δικά τους παιδιά. Για την ελληνική οικογένεια, οι παπούδες είναι η βάση για την υγεία των παιδιών και ισορροπούν με την καλοσύνη τους, την...αυστηρότητα των γονιών.
Oh you have no idea of how happy I felled when my cousins who live and work in US came to visit us during their vacation in Greece! That was sooo refreshing for both parts!🥰🥰🥰🥰
Like you Daniel I married into a Greek family, converted (from Catholicism) to Greek Orthodox and embraced the Greek family and to a certain extent the “Greek Lifestyle” and have never looked backed.
Even though we live in the states we visit Greece most summers where my father in-law still has a portion of his families olive farm. I actually was in Nafplion a week or so back and enjoyed some great Gelato, but I didn’t see you walking around or I would have made a cameo appearance lol.
Family is very much at the center of our lives. Daily I am at my in-laws, who of course live next door. Morning coffee, dinners evening drinks with my father in-law, we still live the culture! My kids are in and out of Yia Yia’s and Popuo’s house as if it were their own.
It wasn’t always so easy when I first came around as I am not Greek, but like you I have learned the language (not as well yet) and eventually it all worked out. I too had to ask for my then wife to be hand in marriage, followed by a big family dinner, where somehow every Greek in town seemed to drop by to see me for themselves!
Sometimes it can be intrusive by American standards but I am truly blessed and would not change it for anything! Soon I will be returning to the states and be looking forward to my next trip!
Your paragraph, the one before the last one, IT make me laugh😂😂😂😂😂😂😂for you as an American, can be, MAYBE, TOO MUCH, when many people come to see you. For US GREEKS, that mean, the people, who come to meet you. THEY SHOW YOU RESOECT+WELLCOME, THATS WHY, THEY COME, to your in-law house. Like YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT PERSON, TO WELLCOME YOU. THAT IS the meaning of All this😂 😂 ENJOY GREEK LIFE+GREEK FOOD👍🎈🌻
They show you RESPECT
Thanks for sharing this video with us, it is not easy with in-laws. I think everyone has the same issue with in-laws, some more than others.
Yes, I support setting boundaries with in laws yet maintaining healthy respect for them
Relationships on a whole comes with challenges, but working through them is rewarding.
Yia Yia makes the right kind of Mousaka, Potato at the bottom.
Indeed! THAT'S the right way to do it...
Thank you for sharing your in-laws with us. I'd like to learn about your parents too and if they visited your family in Greece.
Oh, that moussaka looks absolutely fantastic!! PS: I hope you stopped smoking.
❤ Usually, Greek families have each other's backs. I hope your parents visit as often as possible. Take Care
Thanks for the Video. As a Celtic I visit my nieces grand nephews and nieces. I love them all. However my sibling is like a Celtic Battle-ax and goes confrontational with everyone. It's like a Greek Byzantine Drama. I am too old to bother and walk as if on eggs. Shame the grand nephews and nieces are soo eager to engage and learn. I have since childhood learnt and have valued peace and reconciliation. I am so annoyed at adults who teach confrontational engagement versus listening and explaining a different perspective. ???
Many thanks 🙏 for this video.
hmm.. Back in the days I remember always spend 2 months of the summer, in my village, with my grandfather and grandmother (papu & giagia). What a lovely time I had. i miss them 😢
My father as well had very good relations with the family of my mother, and when he retired they all stay together in the village. I really hope we can live like them in the times that will follow.
Well... I think is not always about the money and the lifestyle that we think we want to have. When I look back my most beautiful memories is around ppl that you love , is family !
thx for sharing your story.
Gracias por esta bella historia sobre tus suegros. A mi por lo menos me ha emocionado porque soy también la “giagiá” preferrida de mi nieta Sofia y la cuidamos de vez en cuando ya que nuestra hija es madre divirciada. Me imagino, tal y como hacemos todas las madres y abuelas, recogéis a las niñas junto con un montón de comida en tuppers. Yo hice Pastitsio ayer y le di a mi hija 2 porciones grandes 😇
Por cierto te sigo desde Amberes, Bélgica y soy Greco-Española 😌
🧿Drop a comment from where you are watching this video 👇
Kentucky. Θα πάω Ελλάδα τον Νοέμβριο.
Thanks for sharing this video with us, it is not easy with in-laws. I think everyone has the same issue with in-laws, some more than others.
Take solace, in my Greek Island culture the people from the next village are "xenos" and they are fully Greek and distant relatives actually. 😉 And, yes, you are a wonderful man for their daughter.
The US via grandparents from Kalymnos!
Μανδρα...!
Θέλω να μιλήσεις και ισπανικά, είναι πολύ όμορφη γλώσσα.
Hi, is the SECOND time, I watch, your channel. Im Greek, in UK. You look LOVELY family, and DIMITRAS, parents+GREAT GREEK FOOD. I LOVE😋 MOUSAKA😋. About, the in, - laws, to HAVE A key, is a BIG NO. MY brother+his wife(BOTH Greeks) divorce, after a lot of fights, her parents had a key to their house. IS a VERY BAD. THE DISTANCE IS THE BEST THING. 👍 AS we say in Greece:ΜΑΚΡΥΆ ΚΑΙ ΑΓΑΠΗΜΕΝΟΙ. IN other words= we are far and we are OR HAVING LOVING RELATIONSHIP. Many young Greek couple, as well have, these kind of problem, and they DONT WANT TO live, near their, parents. Because of finances, some families, build, flats, one on top, of the other, to HAVE A house fie each child. From family experience, IT is NOT GOOD, siblings, to live, next to each other. Created problem. DISTANCE is the BEST👍. I LIKE YOUR VIDEOS, MY Hello, to ALL your Family. You look just like a GREEK MAN 👍😊ITS TRUE😊
Po po that mousaka looked so good. My favorite Greek dish. Btw I was lucky and my children were and are still lucky to have my in laws. They are the typical greek yiayia and pappou. Everything is for the grandkids.
Ahh yes, brilliantly explained in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I was blessed with the best in-laws but who have passed away in the last six years. I do miss them but life goes on. My only regrets are that we could not get away from work and my daughters schooling to visit them over the years, they did however came to spend time with us which was great!
It appears that the EU has been working to destroy the the Greek family unit as well as the church. People do not understand the importance of having the Grandparents around the home, it’s family, it’s having discussions and hearing how their lives were growing up in Greece. It was not easy for them but they made it through hard times and two wars back to back. We were also blessed that they came for our wedding in the states and another time to spend winter in the states and not isolated up in the village.
Eisai Leventis. All the best.
If us, Greeks , are feeling sometimes that our ''petherika'' (in-laws) are ''chocking'' us, I can imagine how this have been for you as a foreigner. I'm glad that you managed to find a balance
Sorry but how about addressing your future father in law in the plural haha. Θέλω να ξέρετε....... Expat from the UK , married a Greek 100 years ago , first thing I learned? The plural . Haha. Even today after so many years I cannot address older people or strangers in the singular.
Not all Greek families are tolerant and welcoming. My younger partners family have ostracised me, I was treated with suspicion and haven’t been accepted.
That’s the reality. It’s not fun. And it’s a painful truth that is good to expose. It’s a bit ignorant and unkind.
I feel for you,😢
Please try NOT, to take personaly+get upset. Im Greek, MY choice, of boyfriend, in the PAST, was, NOT pleasant, for MY parents, even was Greek. So IT is NOT because, you are NOT, Greek, its because some parents, have this CHARACTER. IN ORDER, NOT, TO BE UPSET, JUST DONT THINK, ABOUT IT😊👍ENJOY, YOUR LIFE+FORGET, the rest😊
Two things most Greek grandparents won’t tolerate for a son in a law or a daughter in law. That’s a muslim and a jew. That is a big no no. My parents were a perfect example of that. Especially a Turk or an Albanian lol. The only ethnicity that they would tolerate was an Italian from the south. You have to laugh. They grew up with a different way of thinking but what’s funny is that my parents divorced and my father got remarried to a Dominican woman. 😂
To move to your wife's home country, as a forigner, and integrate with the relatives is always a challenge.
My becoming father-in-law wanted to beat me up. Then, understanding, not only that I'm an engineer but that my intention to his daughter was straight and honest.
The thing is called respect!!!
Always show respect.
It can be a drag, but step by step, you distance yourself from the family meetings, twice a day.
If your wife is the only child, like my wife, it is horder. Not only the parentes in law, but the aunts, oncles, cousines, etc. etc.
We both come from a very different point of view towards our Balkan wife's.
Accept, challange and change is my motto.
Lars
Your life story Daniel!
A nice walk to Katharona beach and an cool way to get clean with your "petherika" relationship....beautiful scenery.....
What beautiful children. ♥️
Για το κορίτσι μου, που αγαπούσααααα, στην Ελευσίνα μια φοράαααα!
such a well made youtube video
Thank you 💙🙏
That’s the reality. It’s not fun. And it’s a painful truth that is good to expose. It’s a bit ignorant and unkind.
You're just saying that because they watch your videos 😅
🤣🤣🤣
Not a fate I'd wish on anyone. My heavily monitored 23 year-old Greek sister, living at home and commuting daily to work in NYC, had a pre-announced marriage to a German-American the same day my parents conveniently booked a flight to Europe. Only the birth of a granddaughter broke the silence six years later for an unpleasant reunion of sorts. Nothing ever really changed over many years.