Your children are not your retirement plan! - Dr. Olumide Emmanuel
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
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This is the kind of messages that makes children to abandon their parents at old age!!
It's good to balance things up!!
In Nigeria many graduates of 40yrs old are still dependent on their parents, so, such children will get job and then say, am not a retirement plan!!
How will it sound, if a parents stop all responsibilities on the children immediately the childreb turn 18years old.
The system abroad is different from Africa o!!
There is a better welfare system in America and Europe! There is no welfare atall in Africa.
Let's assist our parents o!!
Assistance and burden are two different things!!
This is the truth!
They can help their parents when they are capable, but the parents should have planned for old age.
@@JoyFayHow can the parents plan for old age when they don’t even have? With what people are facing today in Africa today.
@@timisongi1431 how can the kids take care of their parents when they don’t even have?
@JoyFay which parant pray not to have a capable children?
Which parent wishes to burden children that are not capable?
Many of you listen to this kind of messages with a closed mindset!
The same child that can't assist his parents financially will be contributing to a church and pastors every month!!
In Nigeria of today, where parents still feed a child of 35yrs old, graduate, becos he has no job! The same child will get a job and now telling the patents that he's not a retirement plan!!
Maybe parents should stop taking responsibility of any child that's above 18yrs old so that parents can plan for their old age! That's what's being done abroad, becos their good welfare!
Immediately you are 18yrs, go and start working, go and pay for ur education! and let me plan for my old age!
And let's see how it feel!!
You ppl are comparing America without comparing the system.
The same children that are funding the churches and pastor's family are abandoning their parents in the name of "I am not my parents retirement plan"
You can even see, how the pastor water down the command of "honor ur father and mother"
Chai!!
He is 💯% logical, practical and realistic, don't carry unnecessary burden, don't pay for a worthless woman in the name of bride price
Retirement is one of the highest government sponsored institution in US and in EU( Medicare)
Private retirement institutions are insured and highly supervised by government agencies (FDIC)
In Africa we barely take our parent for medical care. We only give them little for foods.
In summary. In US and EU, foods and medical care for average elders are governments duties.
It is because we have a failed States in Africa that these responsibly are shifted to the children. We should do what we can!
Finally, Nigerians are beginning to talk about this. Truth be told, your children are not your retirement plan!
This is a lovely discussion...In Africa i now know the reason people rejoice a whole lot when a baby is born as i grew older i realized the sad truth that children are not only seen as Gods blessings but as retirement and old age back up plans .And this sometimes put alot of pressure on Children most times before some siblings with their sense of entitlement will now do their own.
According to Dr. Olumide, "I will advise parents to understand that you should not give birth to more children that you can take care of because every child you give birth to is minus 15 years of your life and every child you give birth to is 25 yrs for you to be free." My question to Dr. Olumide. Why is every child that a person gives birth to, is 25 yrs of the person to be free? Is this idea from the Bible or have you made it up? The Western lifestyle we are trying to mimic considers children to be adults at age18yrs. After high school, the parents have no business with the child or children's education. If Oyibo children want to further their education after high school - they go apply for student loans. A loan that they'll pay back with interest when they start to work. Coupled with the fact that Western education from elementary school to high school is free of charge. This is how 90% of Oyibo parents save for their pension while African parents spend everything they've ever had to send their children to school for a better tomorrow and the child/children will grow up and decide to live a luxurious lifestyle that they cannot afford and abandon their parents.
Because of this kind of motivational talk, even comfortable or wealthy people that can afford to take care of five children, are now choosing to have one or two so that they "enjoy their lives." Live is vice-versa. What goes around comes around.
The Parents I can even somehow understand BUT can someone please give advise/ can we also talk about the financial demand from SIBLINGS especially if they feel like you are the most successful irrespective if they are older or younger than you?
This must have come from the place of privilege by Olumide. I agree that people should give birth to only the number of children that they can take care of. However, one need to understand that the economic environment in most African nations do not provide stability after retirement. Also, because of these economic woes, even people who have one kid sometimes have to struggle to provide to train those kids. Therefore, parents end up sacrificing by putting off saving/investing towards retirement to give their kids good quality of life. It will be unfair to watch our parents sacrifice for us and then say that we are not their retirement plan when we know fully well that they sacrificed their retirement savings for us.
Well said.
You said it all!!
Pastor Olumide is known for preaching nonsense!!
See how he rubbished the yoruba proverb and also twisted the word of God that says "honor ur father and mother"
I am a parent and I know I will not spend what I can not afford on our children in the hope of using them as a retirement fund. Being a responsible adult means that you plan for your old age as well. It's a different matter if unforeseeable circumstances arise at old age which would cause one to seek financial help from their children. To expect your children to fund your retirement is the height of irresponsibility. It is quite sad that a lot of parents bang on about sacrifice. I derive so much joy from raising our child that I can not understand why some parents make it seem as if it's one big sacrifice that they need to be rewarded for. It is not compulsory to have a child. If it is such a sacrifice, then you need to rethink having a child.
@menvicstudio am sure you are not living in Nigeria!!
Is there any parent that will expressly brag that his children must fund his retirement?
Many of you always take the issue out of context!!
I am a parent as well, I always tell my children that, am not living my life to depend on them in my old age! Does that mean they should abandon me in my old age? Does that mean they should not appreciate me financially in my old age?
The situation in Nigeria today, children of 35yrs old are still living with their parents and the parents are not complaining.
So, if such children now get jobs, should such children now say to the parents that they are not a retirement plan?
Nobody pray for unfortunate circumstances, but when it happens, it's the training you give to ur children now that will make them to respond to you!
Children that are busy funding churches and pastors, sowing dangerous seeds to pastors will be saying he's not a retirement plan to his parents when they need him!!
My father sponsored my education till my professional level, he had the money, everything was good for him!
I got a job, and the man need financial assistance, I was called upon, I had to give all my salary for a whole month to help him!! And up till today, I send money to him monthly! He was not asking me to do that, but as a responsible child, I know it's important!!
Instead of you ppl to train ur children to be appreciative of their parents, you are busy confusing them.
I pray for u, may you not have unfortunate circumstances in ur ur old age and may ur children not abandon you in ur old age.
Pastors are busy adopting other ppl's children calling them spiritual sons and daughters, collecting money from them, but they are busy tell the children that they are not the retirement plan of their biological parents!
God have mercy!
@@ayodeleayodele6500 You need to calm down and read my write up. My emphasis is on expecting your children to pay you back as if you did them a favour by giving birth to them which is unacceptable. If you think some parents are not like this, then you probably did not grow up in Nigeria.
PS: I grew up an orphan in Nigeria and don't have any parental or sibling demands hanging around my neck. I have over the years watched some people saddled with the financial burden of their parents and even siblings and I do not want that for my children nor for my self. I have also watched some older people around me who have their financial acts together and see how their children are free to thrive without worrying about providing for their parents. These set of people have relationship with their children built purely out of enjoying each other's company and that is what I want for myself and my children (and yes, these people are Nigerians from modest backgrounds). I have also engaged some of these older people in discussions to learn one or two things on how to plan for my old age and retirement. Unforseen circumstances is a different matter but plan, we must.
Jesus Christ!
I have been thinking about what this great man is saying right from 5years old
My wife and I had this same discussion just few days ago. She was laughing when I said I did not ask anyone to give birth to me. Take care of your parents but it must be according to what you have.
i totally agree with mr olumide point of view we should train our children to be independant
Loved it. Well presented. Africans have to get out of this narrative.
Thanks Adeola for briimg Dr oluimide, this is an eye opener.thanks
Powerful message! I hope this message will reach every household in Africa!!!
Wrong message to Africa children!
Africa is not same as Europe and America! Government have good welfare systems in America, parents don't spend their life savings to train their children in America like what we have in Africa!!
Maybe He should balance it by saying, Parents should stop every responsibility on their children immediately the church turns 18yrs old.
That's the systems in Europe!!
You ppl should stop teaching children to abandon their parents after such parents trained them to the highest level.
Absolutely. I really want to send this to my parents but my parents… 😓. They have many times told me I am obligated to send money and take care of them. I am a few years to 30 and this started a few years prior. I am just tired 😢
@Komiyo E Yep! Very typical of most parents born in 30s, 40s and 50s. They actually believed that children were their investments..
@ahappierworld8819 which period are ur parent born, out of the periods you mentioned?
I had the same and huge argument with my mother about this. I am the eldest of 7 and was fortunate for my father to bring me to the states to complete my education and I just finished my doctorate last December. All through school here from high school, university and doctor school, my mother in Ghana will consistently calling and texting me to send pocket money for her, my other step siblings and I was under soo much pressure that it made me resent my mother.
hmm
The Lord is your strength. I pray for your healing with your family
I also hope you become financially okay
Congrats Adeola on your 2nd🎉🎉🎉
Children should not be taken by parents as their retirement plan, but not withstanding, children should learn how to take good care of their parents, and if there is NEED to use ur savings to take care of ur parents, for example, they are having health challenge, u have to inconvenience ur self and stand for them, after all, some of our parents inconvenienced themselves to give us bright future, which includes selling their clothes, land just to ensure we had bright future. So also go extra miles in taking good care of your parents, if such need arises, and never see them as a burden. I don Waka oo 🚶🚶
Wow wow wow 😅 God will bless you oh my Oga 😅 this your message is a very positive and hearth touching. Our Africa parents need to listen to this message for real. Mama and papa all they know is give me I'm hungry I need this I need that dragging their children backwards because of their own issue.
If our children are not there tomorrow for their parent. Then, why did parents strain themselves and trained them with their last kobo?
Yorubas believed that:“Bi Okete ba da gba omu omo re lo mum” The contributor analyzed it as if “Parents will suck the actual breasts of their children”
It is a Yoruba Proverb and ideology that, reminds children to take care of their parents at very old age when legs and arms can no more function to do anything and they are still alive. Who will like to kill his/her 90 years old or starving him or her to death?
Taking care of your parents is not an evil road please sir.
Some fathers even expect their children to marry new wives for them! Some expect you to train the children of their junior wife! What madness in Africa! I am still training the two children left by my senior brother from his fourth wife! There was nothing else to do because the man died and left the helpless children. What if I am not able to even take care of my own.
This is very apt. As a Pension and Insurance Advisor, i get this as an objection often.I hear people in my generation still say "My children are my pension". My advise to today's parent in addition to Pst. Olumide is get a good life Annuity plan, that pays you a regular and guaranteed income monthly, quarterly, half yearly for as long as you live. Anything your child sends to you becomes an addition.
This way you're happy.
Thank you so much for this topic!!! Much needed 😢
Olumide has a valid argument but he should understand African society don’t have social security and retirement system like in the West. Our current society evolved from communal setting but urbanisation is gradually changing that. If someone and his/her parents live in the west then is OK but if you reside in the west while parents live in Africa and not financially stable; you can’t be enjoying in all affluence while your parents languish in penury in Africa.
This man is just a motivational Pastor ,after parents did all they could for their children now to reap the fruit of their labour u are there saying they shouldn't but the same parents, you PASTORS collect their hard earned money through offerings ,tithes and sowing of seeds ,if they have problems financially the only thing that church will do is to pray for them no financial assistance now you still want to discourage their children from helping them .that is WICKEDNESS.
Real talk and sensible talking here
when you were born, you were trained up till the university level, those parents starved and saved to pay your bills, the only thing you owe them is their retirement, it's like that all through the different cultures and races, your kids may not be your retirement plan but you as kid supposed to know that you need to payback your parents or guardians that brought you up, you didn't fall from the sky and became what you are, think responsible.
i totally agree with mr olumide we are to train our children to be independant
Thank you for the clarification. If not, some people will further neglect their parents. Especially where the speaker says, " he place his parent on a monthly fix."
There is absolutely no reason to even argue over this matter. Those who believe it should just pray that if they have children, their children should never take care of them when they get old and they should abandon them. If anything, they should only visit if they can, maybe once every 10 years so that they don’t have to go out of their way or put any burden on the children.
God bless you sir.... Your absolutely right and I totally agree.
He speaks volumes
If only people could just listen …this perspective could help reduce the “witches and wizard” mother in laws that only the poor and struggling people have in Africa …The old people who can take care of themselves are never witches .the Bible never preached this custom …honoring my parents has nothing to do with being their milking cows. A wise man always leaves inheritance for his children not the other way around.
It depends on the state of the parent. Some children actually have to parent their parents. God is not foolish or stupid to lift some children above their parents. Also, some parents practically go through hell to train their children, paying no attention to themselves. Such parents cannot be treated the same like those who lived and train you in their comfort. So no universal standard on how to treat one's parent. No two parents are the same.
Lolzx Women sha .....she quickly said am young in Jesus Amen..
Dr. Olumide may have some reasoning there. But he has forgotten that Africa is different from where he presently resides. The people over there are stingy. He should not tell me that a son can't take care of the parents. I disagree with him along that line. Though parents should not overburden their children.
In my opinion, parents making their children take on the families responsibilities is the number one reason for sugar baby, prostitution and yahoo yahoo in Nigeria. Also, a lot of Nigerian parents have sociopathic and borderline personality traits.
Infact some of Nigerian have problems ooo , how and when to be old became curse, she said am Young in Jesus name old woman like her
"Don't carry heavy load, don't carry heavy load!" While clapping his hands 😂😂...I love been west african!😅
But as African, even yoruba to be precise needs to take care of the parents
Very true!!!!
You cannot watch your parents suffer unless you don’t have.
Very true
And if they don't do what they ought to do????
I agree 100%
Some will have 8 children and u are waiting for Ur children to train their siblings
👍👍👍
Hmmm! Children aren’t responsible for your retirement plan.
👏👏👏👏👍
Naaa a. This man is selfish and doesn't understand that the future belongs to those with children not to those with things. What are you gathering things for. Staying abroad is not license for talking down on ancient wisdom. Western education is not an automatic superior wisdom path. We must use money not money using us. We are happier when we help people and live for others not for ourselves
Very selfish human being.
What amazes me the most is the plethora of people supporting him. In a developed nation like USA, etc, where there are social systems in place. Parent don't even need to struggle to train the kid to go to college, they can take student loans etc, I can agree and relate with Olumide but in most African nations like Nigeria where even to pay the tuition of one child many parents will take loans from cooperative, etc. They literally have to put aside their efforts to save for retirement to train their kids. There are many people with one kid that still can't make retirement plans because the economic environment is terrible. After all the sacrifice, he's now saying kids should not take care of their parents. He is talking from the place of privilege. Do you think most parents wish to become dependent on their child after retirement from work? We have a terrible system. You should understand that you can't export an idea from a system that works to one that does not work. We need to fix our system. If we fix our country, and have a robust social system, we can then think the way he's thinkin. Aside that, all I see is a very selfish man.
Thank you. You have said it all. Well thought out.
Very very selfish!
I disagree with this man
Adeola dey stammer ....
You see as God work hard abi ?
Wen you no dey fear dey attack Daddy Adeboye. Who is older than ur parents. ... you get luck say you don mature small.